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horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 14, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

1900/day daily avg since Sunday. not bad but not the best....but ok. t

onight i'm going to pick up some Indian food for dinner right by my work.  Which means I have to stop by the supermarket and get cash back because when I pay in cash, the restaurant doesn't charge tax (and in NYC that's BIG savings!)...and I must make sure they don't include tons of cheese (I prefer NO CHEESE but last time was a big mistake) like last time, LOL. I have nice kelp noodles (EXTREME low cal) to eat the okra / spinach dishes with. I also have cabbage to cook up and eat. I'll enjoy eating Indian thru the weekend and into next week probably (ordering extra today for lots of days of leftovers!) yay.


1050 cal before dinner.

dinner on the drive home from foot massage (left around 7pm) - bag of beef jerky (planned in advance) 350 and at home some healthy, tasty pea crisps that actually have some protein 100 cals. gonna stop eating now & read. :) drive home was around at most 10 min. it's only 7:30 now. nice. happy.

the foot massage was EXCELLENT. good place. I will go back if I ever want a massage in general. NICE FIND! and very close to home. parking has all meters, but, if I go on a sunday it should be good when parking is free and I don't have to worry about getting a ticket because the meter expired (which is the main problem).

so, 1050 before dinner plus 450 dinner = nice 1500. good....and strawberries.

1550 :)

no exercise.

extremely tired at work, so let me stay away from the sleeping pills for tonight :)

I am not being professional in the least. it's been a very, very rough week for me. Especially with the addition of last night's dinner affair.

I am just not feeling myself.

Looking forward to a low key weekend.

probably going to be home & relax.

the whole weekend I will prob not get together with anyone. (since I was going to see my friend but she says she's feeling sick - means I have no plans which would be good.) I need the time to myself.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 04/15/2016:
Have a wonderful peaceful and refreshing weekend Coach!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/15/2016:
Thanks Mom, I certainly will do just & only that! :)

OhioRaven on 04/15/2016:
I can't imagine you're type "A" personality relaxing for too long, but I know you'll give it a try. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/15/2016:
You funny....and you are right. I did some errands after work today already. But, my plan is not to go out at all tomorrow. And maybe not Sunday either.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/15/2016:
well, except for food shopping. and at home, only laundry. I really don't want to do ANYTHING OR! lol...I will read...and make a protein pancake or two....ok....!

cybermom4 on 04/15/2016:
Hahah - I think you have her pegged!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/15/2016:
I got to say, he's gooooood.

grannyannie on 04/15/2016:
Love a foot massage....any massage! Hope next week is better and you have a good weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/15/2016:
I've had 1 or 2 bad foot massages (seems that some places try to do what they aren't trained to do...to make fast $$$).

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 13, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

Wednesday cals
1250 before dinner.

dinner was prob at least 800. (some extra carbs here & there as well as a probably only 1/2 glass of red wine). Honestly, dinner may have been under 800. And I was satisfied by it.

i'll say around 2200 for Wednesday and I actually did walk 20 minutes (10 minutes to an event & 10 minutes coming home!). nice. I'm looking forward to gym & still resting but thinking maybe to go back before May. Probably not though.

But, I may start some ab work at home soon. As well, I'll bring back pushups also. Those two exercises may begin before May.

Additionally, i'm still trying to stretch often. Even at work a little bit.

I had a sleeping pill while still at the dinner, close to 8pm. When I was walking home at 9pm, it was interesting to say the least - thank gosh it was only a 10min walk & I was able to get good sleep which is extremely important to me right now because my body needs it after the 2 partying weekends I had and lack of sleep then & also because I want to get back to training soon at gym & feel good overall. I don't like feeling so tired, so, I think today is going to be better at work & I will make a bigger effort not to be a grump.



6am: kombucha.

8:30am: coffee, banana, bar

11am snack: bar, coffee/milk, maybe diet coke

 600 before lunch...

Lunch: will be healthy.

snack: fruit...

dinner: will be real food, chicken, healthy...

bed early. will take a sleeping pill prob before even leaving the party i'm going to. I need my rest this week....or I might be able to just sleep. Debating this later. maybe skipping sleeping pill. if I don't skip it, i'll have to take it while at the dinner event because if I take the sleeping pill too late, I feel horrible the next day. For me, sleeping pills need to be taken 12 hrs before I plan to get up. Not because I need to sleep 12 hours, but bc I need the pill's effects to wear off after 12 hours or so.  If I take the pill only 8hrs or so before planning to get up, i'm wayyyyy tooooo groggy....and leads to feeling really really horribly the next day. at least I know the drill :) on how to help myself.!!!

The reason I'm posting my crazy pics on facebook from Atlantic City and using a racy photo as my profile pic is because i'm 33 and I can - and bc I do look good in those photos & want to do what the ladies do when they feel good & I want to flaunt it because I worked for it.

I am not usually a crazy partier and it feels really good to have been able to go to AC, party, and have young men view me as good looking & hot.  And why does it feel good!? Because it's like a disclaimer or proof or whatever that "I still have it!" ... that in fact my hard work does pay off. Why should I bust my butt at the gym for nothing. That's why...


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/13/2016:
Cute post J. This is more of a state of mind at any age.... lol You have worked out to get where you are and you should enjoy every minute of it. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
thank you so much F ;) It makes me feel good to post the feel good photos right now, especially when i'm still recovering and need some feel good comments from friends here & on facebook!

grannyannie on 04/13/2016:
Good for you!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
thank you for your support!

thinnside40 on 04/13/2016:
I take melatonin most nights. No hang over, but highly effective in gettinme to sleep and keeping me there through the night.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
yes, I will begin taking this more....I have some at home :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
but I was taking real deal sleeping pills and I did try the melatonin and it did have a good effect, I think i'll switch back to melatonin. thanks again for the tip.

thinnside40 on 04/13/2016:
I take 5-10mg. Depends on how restless I am.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/16/2016:
thank you...gonna take the melatonin tonight probably to ensure some extra zzz's. maybe. i'm already still really tired overall, so maybe i'll skip it?

HOLLYBELLE on 04/14/2016:
Sleep has snot been my friend for many years now. Have a good one!

hollybelle on 04/14/2016:
You are so funny! Hey - I'm 61 years old - a little overweight (LOL) and I still "got" it, too - it's all in the mind!!

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 12, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

before dinner: around 1300, good. pretty balanced and NOT as much caffeine. face is now breaking out on my chin pretty badly though due to eating horribly, bad hours, and stress of it all. it's ok. I don't even care anymore. I have an event to go to tomorrow night, it's a dinner. I don't even care how I look. i'll prob come home & put on my makeup though before it, it's after work & starts at 5:45pm. yep. then Thursday, I made an apt for a foot massage that I bought on Groupon...yeah....foot massage is for after work. Friday nothing thankfully. and Saturday prob dinner with my friend Christine at a Thai place she likes by me.

huge pancake: protein pwdr 150, oats 40, egg whites 130, stevia, sf jelly on top 40 at least, peanut butter topping 100 around 450 total approx.

total today: 1750, excellent.

Planning on making protein pancakes for dinner often.

tomorrow I have an event, so there'll be a healthy dinner of chicken but lots of sides. I will enjoy / indulge as I see fit.

there's wine tmrrw also :)

goodnight....gonna read / relax.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/12/2016:
Enjoy your night out tomorrow and be careful wine can be dangerous.... lol Relax tonight.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/12/2016:
usually I don't drink...so...I may stick with that :) or have a tiny bit at most...gonna start being healthy again I think...especially since i'm not exercising (too tired!!) lol. actually, more the reason i'm not exercising is that my body is still sore for dancing for two weekends straight in heals and I want to feel close as I can to 100% before throwing the gym in my face again. LOL.

thinnside40 on 04/12/2016:
May I ask what protein powder you use? Plant based? Whey? Soy? Enjoy your event!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
Believe it or not, I can't give very good advice regarding protein powders because I don't have a certain one that i'm always using. Lately, i'm just sampling them - but - I do like the more natural ones that are plant based. in general I think women should try to avoid soy if they can get protein another way.

I have a couple friends who work online in the health field so I am sampling their protein mixes now: herbalife protein powders & also beach body brand protein powders. These are extra expensive. ...

I have sampled Quest protein powders from GNC / Vitamin Shoppe. So, if I were to recommend a brand, I do believe Quest has wonderful powders with a great taste. they even have a peanut butter flavor powder which tastes like the real thing, in my coworker's language it's "legit" peanut butter flavor!

thinnside40 on 04/13/2016:
I'm currently using 2 brands. One is from Costco and the other Walmart. Plant based, but different ingredients somewhat. I use 1/2 scoop of each with 1 c. plain Greek yogurt, 1/2 c. Fair Life ultra filtered NF milk (less sugar than regular NF) and 1/2 c. each to equal 1 c. of frozen fruit. Choices are mandarins, strawberries, blueberries, banana, peaches ,a mix of strawberries/blueberries/blackberries/raspberries, a mix of sweet potatoes/nectarines/mango or a mix of strawberries/pineapple/blueberries. Comes in around 32 grams of protein and 350 calories.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/13/2016:
thank you....gonna read this a few times later and make some notes for myself / you... :) thanks for giving me ideas here.!!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 11, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

Tuesday morning: I'm going to have to wake up earlier so I can relax in morning without rushing. I had to inhale two bottles of kombucha in order to use the bathroom...and it's 7am and I haven't showered yet & need to leave by 7:20 lol! i'll make it happen, no worries!


Monday: (was feeling down a bit & relied on a LOT of caffeine as well as some extra carbs). it's ok.

Total too much 2200. Is ok.


I couldn't be more proud of myself for always putting in the hard work and effort and always going to work & putting in a day. unlike stupid bosses around here that come and go as they place and don't know what it's like to actually be tired.

enough said right now as one of the "bosses" left at 2pm for the day. easy peasy. he don't know what it is to REALLY be tired. that's why he has such a hot body. all that damn rest. piece of crap he is...never had it hard a day in his life. it's practically a sin.

I may try a shake diet thing for 5 days as dinner. i'm in a challenge group and ordered the shakes. I don't want to have them at work in mornings, so instead of morning shake, i'll have it (with) dinner. light dinner though....will try & see what I can do tonight.

Lunch at 1pm was great. it was VERY healthy leftover (from Thursday!!!) grilled chicken a lot of it and tons of cooked veggies (mostly bean sprouts but also squash and some other things - around at least 2 cups of veggies - 2 big cups).

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 04/11/2016:
Our bodies have ways of telling us what we NEED sometimes. Good for you in yielding. May you have a good night's rest!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/12/2016:
I got some great rest...could have slept even later if I didn't have work!

glad to not be exercising & be able to rest up until I am feeling all better from the crazy partying the past two weekends. Once I feel better, fully better, I'll go back to the gym (probably in May).

Rest is so important.

grannyannie on 04/12/2016:
Be good to yourself. Your weight is down even more!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/12/2016:
bc bloated, I was back to 115 this morning. I just want to stay here, at 115 no higher.

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 10, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

Sunday Food & Drink:

kombucha 70, later a protein bar 200

strawberries 100

around 11am lunchtime Bacon Jerky 330, Chips 130, leftover saag Indian spinach dip 300, small energy drink

4pm cooked veggies and more energy drink 200 total approx.

5:30pm Yogurt almost 200 cal

bar 250

1800 :)

Seltzer a ton flavored & flavored extra with stevia all day I think.


at 2:30pm, I decided to quickly go out so I could buy food for the week. I was in luck, my fave store had extra cooked bean sprouts that I love, sautéed nicely with a few other veggies in them, and also stopped for gas for my car. I was home by 3:30pm.


I will not say too many details on our overnight trip to AC other than it was the BEST! I partied more at 33yrs old on Friday night than I have EVER partied in my life. My coworker / friend & I did everything and anything we wanted & we lived our lives up to the fullest.

In my 20's, I was pretty much a very good girl as I've been my entire life. I didn't party a ton - not even in college. I have always been studying & working so hard throughout my life.

This party at Harrah's in AC at the pool at night was awesome. We saw all of Atlantic City as well. Stopped by the boardwalk, it was sunny Friday!, and took lots of nice photos.

We were only in AC total under 24 hours! We got there around 4pm Friday and stayed till around 1pm Saturday and then we were starting the drive back the NYC before 2pm. Such a great trip. One night was perfect as my friend was up till 4am & I was up till 5am Saturday morning when I def took a shower lol.

We drank a lot. I ate more than usual. I will say around 3000 cal Friday and maybe up to 2500 Saturday. Hopefully less but I'm not even going to try to think back to calculating it...

We slept till around 9am & were up and showering again in the morning, cleaning up....darn some of my entry I just deleted....so now I have to write it again!!!!.....

On the drive going to AC, we took the Verrazano bridge from Queens to Staten Island and skipped over having to trek thru NYC. the drive took 3hrs or so.

On the way home, I just followed the GPS which did bring us a different way back & totally thru the city which added an extra hour of delays due to usual Manhattan traffic to our ride. But, I am not complaining at all as the detour thru the city was a good change of pace as I hardly ever drive thru Manhattan and it was Saturday & we didn't have anywhere to be!

I dropped her off just after 5pm at her house which is very close to where we work.  I then drove to Rite Aid near my work where I bought some bottled waters & seltzer for the ride home to my place and seltzer also to have once I got home. But before driving home after Rite Aid where I got cash back, I stopped at the dry cleaners right near my work as well to pick up the Maid of Honor expensive wedding dress I had cleaned as well as the shorter dress I wore at the rehearsal dinner. I didn't want to have to do this errand after work during the upcoming week & I was already driving thru Ozone Park, so I did it before coming home. When I got home, I parked right in the visitor quick parking at the side of my apt since I had quite a lot of things to bring up including 2 cases now of bottled water so that i'm set for a couple months :)

...so....I parked, brought some things up stairs, then got my cart so I could bring it down to my car, load it up, and bring the rest of the things up in one shot. I then parked my car in my garage & was home around 6:30pm. I was going to do laundry but realized I was dead tired. I put everything away, pulled some leftovers out of the fridge, ate & relaxed on my couch and nodded off to sleep around 8pm & 9pm...sorta waking up to go on the web a lil but, but sorta kept dozing. I think I went to bed around 10pm. Woke up around 7, all laundry machines downstairs were empty around 7:15 when I went down after a shower. Washed everything....

now it's 10:30am & I am chillin for a bit...


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/10/2016:
I am glad you enjoy yourself. Rest day today I figure.... lol...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
I don't think i'll even go food shopping today...thinking to stay home. I have just enough leftovers to last me till tomorrow.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
I don't think i'll even go food shopping today...thinking to stay home. I have just enough leftovers to last me till tomorrow.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
I don't think i'll even go food shopping today...thinking to stay home. I have just enough leftovers to last me till tomorrow.

hollybelle on 04/10/2016:
Sounds like you need to rest! Glad you had a good time. My 30s were the BEST!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
Overall, despite working too hard at times for my own good, my 30's have been better in many ways than my 20's also.

OhioRaven on 04/10/2016:
What happens in Atlantic City, Stays, in Atlantic City.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
and YES, EVERYTHING happened. I was def cured of my almost year-long abstinence. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL. One night. Everything.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
and he was hot. lol..!

OhioRaven on 04/10/2016:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/11/2016:
thought so!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/11/2016:
will post good photos tonight!!!!! of the outfits! I wore two in one night! one outfit for just a couple hours around the casino till like 8pm and one outfit for the late party party party!

puddles on 04/11/2016:
J you got to love Raven's message.... lol

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/11/2016:
lol, yeah....!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 08, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

Happy Friday!

8am-9:30am 6 cups kombucha as my digestion is so off but will be better soon. 210. worth it to even out my body. So I can wear my tight dress tonight wahoo! All the rushing around as caused me to be slightly constipated lately. sorry TMI.

I may get a car wash before picking up my friend. LOL, she was joking to me yesterday saying "Jackie, when was the last time you washed this thing!?" I'll be driving us the 2.5hr drive to AC today & back tomorrow, so maybe I will quickly get a car wash before I pick her up. But, other than that, I'm enjoying a late morning wakeup (not 5am!) and it's around 8am now. Been up since around 7. So at least I got some decent sleep. Drinking my kombucha. Relaxing most of the morning. Packing should be really easy - even easier than packing for the wedding which was 2 nights in a hotel.  AC we are only sleeping over tonight - so that's good.  Just the drive is long, but i'm lucky to have good company (my friend Jen) for the ride :)

Trying to relax before a shower & packing LAST.

I will leave my apartment around 10:30am or a bit after like 11. Trying for 10:30 so I can get the car wash...

...and I have to remember to weigh myself because on Facebook i'm part of a challenge group that I paid for (I wont win) & part of the group challenge is to weigh-in 1x per week usually Saturdays but they're letting me do the weigh-in Fridays for these two weeks bc i'm not home Saturdays tomorrow & last weekend. I should be home after this weekend though :) for the rest of that challenge group (10 more weeks). Part of the challenge is weightloss, I'm really just interested in maintenance right now.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

marshallsaya on 04/08/2016:
Have a fun safe trip :) ~Angie

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/08/2016:
Thank you Angie, I told Jen that we have to be smart and safe - and NOT RUSH - because I don't wanna lose my phone or make any really bad decisions or mistakes :)

puddles on 04/08/2016:
I am glad you are going away on a pleasure trip. Even if it is tiring sometimes it is a different kind of tired and that is good. Enjoy J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/08/2016:
Thank you Fran :) it's been a long time since I did anything like this! And the FIRST time I bought a short, sexy, colorful dress! First time ever I think! yay! and i'm not getting younger, 33 now, so I need to live it up for once xo

OhioRaven on 04/08/2016:
Post plenty of pictures !

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
I will do :)

cybermom4 on 04/09/2016:
Coach HOP - you sound so relaxed right now!! Have fun, get your car washed and settle into the smell of a clean car. Your FB challenge sounds interesting. I did a challenge way back in 2014 I think , with my gym. It was the 'Challenge' and you did have to pay to participate but you got free classes and time with a trainer. I lost 13 lbs in 12 weeks but I didn't win . I thought a lb a week was pretty good but I guess not enough. They actually went by % body weight instead of lbs so that may make a difference. It was fun.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2016:
Sounds like a great challenge! Thanks for calling me Coach, makes me feel very good.

I have a lot of motivation to stick with my goals in my career as well as keep my weight down for life.

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 07, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 113.0

550 before lunch & once again planning on a lighter cal day...

1pm good healthy lunch: popcorn 160, cabbage 40, okra stuff (with oil) 200, small bits nuts and avocado 100, some chicken and bite of coworker's steak 150? total 650 or so is my guess.

doing great, got a little extra sleep but needed more, took sleeping pill, so at work drank coffee to even me out, even though I did get into work 1/2 hr late bc I am planning to leave 1/2 hr late so I can go shopping with my friend who works here. boss is ok with me coming in late today and leaving late duh. I let him know last night. doing nothing wrong really. just getting thru the week. tomorrow morning i'm driving to AC. - but we aren't leaving at the crack of dawn which is good, we can sleep in a lil bit, i'll prob take a sleeping pill. Friday night will be a BLAST!!!!!!

5:30pm snack: big plum 100 most.

Late dinner: around 500 I think. was tuna fish and indian spinach saag. very healthy. not bad at all. hopefully not more than 500, doubt it.

total: around 1800 today, good. HEALTHY.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/07/2016:
Enjoy J.

innerpeace on 04/07/2016:
Have a safe trip!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 06, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 111.8

550 before lunch & planning on a lighter lunch.

got money (cash back)  just now real quick at supermarket when I bought a few bananas in order to get some change, went to get waxed but she's busy so i'll go after work, then later a meeting for my apt building complex at 7pm about stock / shares we hold, next derm. apt before work tomorrow (coming half hour late to work) and then after work tomorrow at 5pm, buying a new dress (cheap short one) for Atlantic City with my coworker / friend, we are going to leave work together at 5pm to go there.

Friday 10am - leaving for AC with my good friend (and coworker!) worked out GREAT for us!

the pimple on my face got worse (I had the bad dr at the place and he injected it, rather than taking the puss out of it which would have been better and I realized just after he injected it rather than me asking him to eXTRACT it which would have been BEST so now I have to go back bc it IS really bad and infected - although is just big, doesn't look so terrible other than being a big pimple!)

CRAZY. but happy i'm getting it ALL DONE!

around 1450 cal for Wednesday. Very successful.

Home around 7:45pm. Did two errands after work, one of which including over an hour I think in the waiting room but no worries. I missed the 7pm housing meeting, but no problem, i'll go next year lol. I had signed the paperwork anyways in advance and mailed it. It's not that big I deal, just wanted to be at the meeting, but now my face is healing a bit and the pimples are going down. LOL.

I will stop going to the derm. so much now. I have to get back to a more normal schedule and not running around as much, but this week, it's ok :)

last day of work before AC. Tomorrow Jen & I will drive up to Atlantic City around 10:30am I pick her up. We are buying ourselves a dress after work today. Stores are nice and close to work (I would say around 20 min away tops?). And not expensive dresses. short fun ones, colorful.

the reason we waited till the night before is because we are both busy...her too especially...and I had the wedding stuff....and this week we BOTH were pretty busy after work. I love the girl i'm going to AC with. She is caring, thoughtful, and loving (meaning she will take care of me & make sure everything is ok before just worrying about having fun and not her friend!) and she is FUN. She's someone I can trust to have a good time with and also trust not to hurt me ever when going out she'd never leave me in trouble. I'm trying to see she is a friend I can trust. A true friend! and i'm lucky to have a true friend who works with me. It's the best when you have a REAL friend at work.


Progress as of today: 3.2 lbs lost so far, only 0.8 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/06/2016:
Have a great time time in AC with your friend J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/07/2016:
Thank you Fran, XOXO

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 05, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 111.8

I just wanna say I am fully exhausted here at work. got home at 8pm last night.

I'm tired and cranky and can hardly hold my head up.

I will make Friday work out no matter what for Atlantic City and drive my friend & I there and back..........and then........I need to rest all rest of the day Saturday & Sunday.

My body is screaming for REST. and it's annoying that I have to suffer at work feeling like absolute SH*T. I hate this.

If I were like a boss or something, i'd be able to freaking leave I bet. I'm really, really tired....I will have to sit here all week though...I hope to be back at the gym by May. I will have to rest up little by little and realize that i'm going to have to feel a little out of it because that's just the way life works.

But there's no denying how bad I feel. I feel TERRIBLE. It's hard to stay out of feeling depressed when I am faced with exhaustion. I don't feel good. It feels horrible to be at work like this.

around 1350 cal before dinner, pretty healthy.

dinner: big: lots of Indian style okra 400 at most with chips and a whipped yogurt 250 at most more. total, at most, 650.

total today is 2,000 at most. fine.

no exercise.

very, very tired. happy to be home. I don't think I need a sleeping pill.

planning to read a little and sleep. goodnight all.

Progress as of today: 3.2 lbs lost so far, only 0.8 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/05/2016:
Get some rest J. I was just wondering if the police job will be more demanding then your present job? I have no idea what you work in right now but was curious because I always thought being a cop was really demanding and stressful. Anyway you have a great day and get some rest.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/05/2016:
The reason this is hard is because for the past 5 yrs I have been dealing with very little time off. It will be the same problem with Police because I will be starting obviously at the bottom. In my current job, it takes 7yrs to get to 3 weeks paid vaca. I'll be gone by then from here. For cops, it takes 5 yrs I think to reach 3 weeks but then the increase in vaca I think is faster than if I were to stay in this union job.

But I have learned from this. At my age of 33, and around 35 in academy, I'll take the days that I need even if i'm not paid. All because we only get 2 weeks paid doesn't mean I am not entitled to taking time off when I need it. I just don't want to take any more days off right now when I only have two weeks starting now. So yeah, my problem is not the demands of the job at all, it's the demand of working while not rested at all. I have learned from this. Bosses here, especially one of mine that is literally a year younger than me, will never work feeling like I am. that's because he is boss and doesn't have to suffer and sit at a desk when he is sick near as much as I do. He has his own schedule and can say he is going to a "meeting." or when he goes to a meeting at 1pm and it ends at 3pm, he can go home. Not office workers. If you only work in office, you suffer. If you go out to meetings or work in the field, it's better in this electrical industry. This is a known fact. I see it all the time. I have it the worst.

and Fran, it doesn't help that I started this job when I was desperate for a job and i'd work 12hr days...so....my body can't take it Fran. I can't give anymore when I am given back minimum vaca due to little time working in this union. It's not easy at 33 to go with the minimum. I don't feel I deserve more, but, especially coming from the freedom of used to being a teacher, this is NOT WELCOME, desireable, or reasonable time to me to be able to feel rested, EVER. it's not an easy place to live - NYC - or work, especially if you are "at the bottom" like I am & really are paid very low & unable to take off without pay bc it means i'd be using my previous savings from when I earned more.

the problem is that i'm not doing what I should be doing now. I make a low wage. I always have minimum rest always. Minimmum vaca always. MINIMUM EVERYTHING for FIVE YEARS and now i'm also exhausted from a wedding but I have to suffer at work & yesterday I worked a DARN HOUR OT WITHOUT PAY. I'm so tired Fran. thank god I took off before the wedding and my boss was nice enough to pay me even though I wasn't supposed to be paid for most of it.

life isn't meant to be easy and the past 5 years for me have been always a challenge. I need a rest. and I have to rest all month because that's how long it takes when you don't have time off from work to really rest more.

as a teacher a long time ago, I had weeks of vacation each year. I was mostly still in school, so I did either work or go to school most of the summer, but still always had at least 2 weeks in summer OFF. and then a week in Decemember, a week in Feb, A week in April, and other long weekends throughout the teaching calanedar. It's extremely hard to come from a life as a student & teacher only to the past 5 years (only ages 28-33 that I am now) as having two weeks off per year. It's a disgrace that this country is so unforgiving & unrelenting to it's citizens and I will always feel in my heart that 2 weeks paid vacation is a horrible idea and not enough for any hard working person in this country.

and all my time with only two weeks paid vaca, first 4 years of it, I worked HEAPS of overtime...and still only two weeks paid vaca. I am exhausted and this job taught me things, harsh realities, that i'll never forget.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/05/2016:
I know there are others with a life far worse than me, but, speaking for myself, that's why I'm looking to get out of this industry. So at least, when I turn 40, I'll be making a VERY decent salary and will not have the problems I have financially now (not saving more than a dime which is really BAD considering i'm 33 and not 23). The academy will give me both career freedom & also financial freedom after i'm working as a cop for a few years the salary is already $15k more than I make now (after 3 years in academy i'll make around $15k than I make now.) all of this makes the academy more desirable for me to enter. this job I have now is a mental & physically KILLER. no good for me now or for my future.

grannyannie on 04/05/2016:
Feel better and get some good rest!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/05/2016:
thank you for your kindness :)

marshallsaya on 04/05/2016:
I hope you feel better and get the rest you need! (( hugs )) ~Angie

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/06/2016:
xo Thank you Angie :*

innerpeace on 04/05/2016:
My DH and I always discuss the similarities between mental and physical exhaustion! Both suck! Hope you get some well deserved rest.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/06/2016:
Thank you...I def deal with both of those (mental & phys) and I think I actually start to think mental is phys and that's when I am run down to the max....good point you make (the point I got from your comment is to push through and try to forget about feeling so bad, because I do have to work & do have to live my life and don't have time / energy to spend exhausted, so I need to try to push through the feelings right now...).


horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 04, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 111.8

Work today and even approx 1hr OT and I think for free and we don't get paid OT anymore. Which is fine but it's a tired week for me obviously.

600 cal thru AM. Kombucha 4 cups, banana, 2 bars

Lunch was 1/2 avocado 160, chicken around 150 I think and spinach 100 cooked, Diet Coke and was gonna have popcorn but ran outta time.

410 Snack after work fruit 90 1100.

dinner was massive, was too hungry, not sure the calories. may have been 700-750 but hopefully less, unfortunately I 'm really not sure. takeout Indian and I really don't know.

1800. VERY GOOD.

I will not be going to the gym anytime soon. First, i'm busy this week with a bit of plans after work. next, my body is recovering from wedding. LOL. cheers to getting rest little by little this month.

ran a lot of errands after work, no choice.(cleaners before & after work because I was thinking I needed to get my short dress there ASAP but then decided later i'd buy a new dress (cheap) for Atlantic City, and then when i wasn't running late in morning i dropped off my fancy gown dress after work when I had more time to take it out of my car and not rush with the $500 dress!, after wrok I picked up some takeout Indian food to last the week into weekend, drove to dermatologist, bought seltzer at Rite Aid and was home at 8pm. tired! and I indulged in the food I bought at 8pm. hey, i'm allowed! better than eating a protein / sugary bar. got some tasty veggies in with some popcorn lol nd healthy fats. what can I say!? ;)

Progress as of today: 3.2 lbs lost so far, only 0.8 lbs to go!

marshallsaya on 04/04/2016:
looks like you have a had a good day :) ~Angie

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/05/2016:
It was :)

OhioRaven on 04/05/2016:
Yes, you're allowed. Enjoy your day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/05/2016:
thanks for agreeing with me :)

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