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horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 08, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

3am could not sleep, at all, struggled with waking up also from 12-1.Chips and a small banana 230. Yes I did fall asleep and thru the rest of the night after the snack. I think it's bc I had an earlier dinner at 6 and not 7 or 8 as my last meal. also not so many carbs at dinner or afternoon yesterday.

6am lemon water 30 260.

Despite the 3am eating, my day is more balanced with healthy food today. glad I woke up with time to cook / prepare it.

Breakfast at work: pancake made with avocado 100, little bit of oat bran 20?, egg 100, small banana 120 340...with pb I think ? 100 440 and coffee 50? so around 500...

snack: granola bar? 160?

920... eesh...I guess totals for today will be good anywhere between 2200-2300 cals.

it's higher calories because of the 3am snack which in my opinion felt like I needed...I guess I need to eat closer to bedtime or something...or more carbs.

lunch: little bit of chicken around 100?, white rice around 150, tons of cooked spinach around 100??, and some avocado around 70: 420, good.

snack before gym: same as above, no avocado. i'll say 400 since it's prob more cals than i'm estimating anyway.

so total before gym: 1720, good.

Actually more around 1750 had a small chocolate pb cup candy at 3pm

after gym: I think it will be subway sandwich?..depending how I feel & if I get out of the gym early, like I think I will.

2250 and for the first time in an extremely long time I can say that everything I ate today was healthy. And that I didn't eat one protein bar today!

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/08/2015:
It looks like you have a healthy day planned despite your sleep troubles. I hope you can get some good ZZZZs in tonight!

puddles on 09/08/2015:
Have a great day.

horn_of_plenty - Monday Sep 07, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Happy Labor Day :)

I woke up around 7am this AM and instead of going back to bed, I got up because I know how important it is for me to be able to fall asleep tonight & def without sleeping pills.

I actually did 2 small loads of laundry this AM so I can feel good about this week to come.  I was gonna just do laundry Saturday but I figured doing it now makes things easier for this week (knowing everything is clean now) and easier for next weekend! Now i'm ready for a 4-day week, or as ready as I can be!  It's good to not have to worry about not wearing some clothes I wanna wear, because they aren't clean yet...now I can have a short week and not worry in the least about clothes. haha....yup!

Plan today is not too much, but I did make plans.  Making even a small plan during the day helps keep me on track when I do have a day off.

So, today I'm going for a massage at 12:30-1:30.  So I guess i'll leave here around 11:45 or so. I don't plan to do anything else before then, just read & do things here at home.  After the massage, I'll pick up groceries and come home. Glad it's a 4 day week because I can pretty much go to the supermarket just once, today, and be done till Friday.

I can cook if I want to, but probably just gonna relax.  I can also tan for a little on my terrace without sunblock - like 10 min on each side....maybe. Pigeons drive me nutz when they fly by....we'll see how it goes, I would say that I would be interested in laying out there for some Vitamin D....it's good for the body.

I am purposely not running to the mall or doing much.  Letting my body rest and heal.  Looking towards big progress with my ankle this month. looking to feel better by the end of this month - this is EXTREMELY important to me.  Why? It's a godsend that the Jewish holidays fall during the week this year & if they didn't I would not have a few extra days off this month...and I need to use them in a way that is going to help me the most...and so far, i'm doing a great job doing just that.

trying to eat a bit more fat and natural food to help my skin improve before Wednesday my bday.  it is getting better, yes. it won't be perfect  on the 9th but better than it was Saturday / Sunday.  Truth is, I sorta do know what to do - just gotta work harder at these things - nutrition...what I do isn't always so wrong, but by doing more things right I probably could be feeling / looking a little better.

7:30am Early snack: 2 plums 100 at very most.

8:45am Breakfast (split into two meals) egg whites 50, chia seeds 10, avocado 80, banana  extra small 100, cinnamon, stevia, and butter on top once cooked 300 at very most. green tea later.

frozen fruit bar and one more plum 100

after massage: high fiber granola bar, water, iced decaf very tasty! around 200.


home: 4pmtwo small peppers around 100,

 5:00 pint of roasted brussel sprouts around 200?,

6pm some eggplant roasted with just a tad of oil 100?, grilled asparagus 50?...followed up by a small chicken burger around 200? on a wrap 100...total home eating: 750.

1450...may end it here.  :)

bed early tonight!





Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Sep 06, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Hey all :) Happy Sunday. Just so tired lately and happy that I still have another day off after today.  I am debating taking like 2 weeks off both my weights and PT to try to get the ankle under control but I just feel HORRIBLE doing that.  I'd rather try to be successful in getting rid of the remaining ankle weakness and pain while still working out.  I just really don't want to do what I did last year - I took October - January off from ALL EXERCISE (it was my only way to allow my body to fully heal) last year and it was a very depressing  time for me.  I think I just need to be able to relax a little more this month (which is easier with only one full week of work...) and then i'll be feeling better, I hope.

Sorry to complain...I just don't feel my best. I'm sick of feeling bad when I finally get an extra day off..it's so annoying.  I'm drained and tired...but not tired enough to not enjoy myself at the gym (I think i'll try to make it a quick session?)

It's really day 1 of you know what and I've had pain in my right thigh since last night....glad I cancelled the beach with my friend (she didn't seem too upset actually) and we'll still be meeting mid afternoon and have dinner together...

I'm just really wanting time to decompress lately.  I don't even feel like texting my PT man... I just want to escape right now and be alone...I just feel skipping the gym is wrong when what I really wanted to do was use this month to get BACK on a good schedule. So, i'm doing it.  If something is really wrong come October, i'll take the mandatory break.  It's really just not easy for me to deal with the work schedule I have. I am so thankful for an easier month this month, because i'll not be taking any more days until March. I'll never get used to this, it's not a way of life for me.  Thank gosh my sister will only get married once and I have no other major events to deal with after that.  Having a very hard time balancing life, very hard time...just not enough time to "be Jackie" ...you know, to be myself. 

I feel like my job has def taken a big toll on my health and it's upsetting. I feel no escape.  No way to magically fix anything anymore. 

But at the same time, I know the importance of thinking positively so that things do end up working out the way they should...

8:00 am: kombucha and a small plum 100

11:15 am: Huge pancake made with few drops stevia, 1/4 avocado, 1 egg, 1/3 cup egg whites, small banana, some chia seeds...topped with peanut butter. only around 500.

600 :)

12:20 / 2pm During workout / after workout: banana, 2 munchkins 240


snack 3pm: protein bar 170, quest chocolate brownie

total so far: 1010.

snack: yellow pepper 50?

dinner: tofu 100, some of friends Chinese but very little 50 mostly veggies, and my own dish of mostly just veggies in a thicker sauce though 400? total around 600 i'll say, at most.

1700 or so, total. PERFECT. actually was 1750 after a plum in evening, still perfect :)

gym: full weights, back abs...but I did have a panic attack during the first 1/3 of my exercises.  I just got really dizzy, even though i'd eaten recently...I had to take a break, got another banana, and after several minutes (10-15?) went back at it...

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 09/06/2015:
Such upsets in your life of wants and needs and not being able to do what you need. Hope at one point that it all comes together.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
thank you :)

biscottibody59 on 09/06/2015:
I hope you can find peace and some semblance of recovery from what ails you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
thank you BB :)

ohioraven on 09/07/2015:
Hope you can find your Jackie. What would Jackie do ?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
I think she just likes to do things when she likes to do them...not according to work schedules and schedules in general :)

ohioraven on 09/07/2015:
Might be a good time to start your own business.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Sep 05, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

8am Breakfast: kombucha 70, hot veggie boillion 30

11am: Light Brunch: some veggies, beef jerky 250

2:30 Decaf coffee and plum - not more than 100 450.

4pm veggies, tons, 200 some sauce, shrimp 150, avocado 150, chips 150:  650


plums 200


Saw the movie Straight Outta Compton. It was really good and really sad. Quite long around 2hrs 20 min I think but time went fast bc it was a well done movie....saw it at 11:30 so now it's still early only 2:30 haha. Nice day :) ankle hurts so now I'm debating the gym :/ I want to go for weights but the ankle pain is really frustrating. I may have to take time off everything...but really didn't wanna do that.

It's a Happy Saturday morning, around 7am :)

Yesterday afternoon from 3-4:30 I had the keratin process done to my hair.  Usually you have to wait 3 days to wash, but I was told I can wash this one after 24 hours.  The reason I chose to do it yesterday is because I could wash it today (in the later afternoon) before the gym so that I could go to the gym & put my hair up so that I could do a normal routine there. The thing with getting a keratin is that you don't want to sweat or get the hair wet for the time they tell you that you are going to need to wait....So for me, they said only 24 hours...which means that I can wash it today before the gym...I am nervous though because it's only 24 hours, not the 3 days that they usually say...? But I should try it out, so I know for next time, if it works?  So yeah, I'll wash it before the gym today...fingers crossed that the process still works in a 24hr time frame!

Soon I'll get my laundry done this morning since I'm up...best to get it all done in one shot and not do any again till next weekend, which is also a long weekend for me...Really loving this downtime as well as being able to sleep in a little more often this month.  I should be feeling good come end of September.

So, today i'm trying to distract myself from food...I will do my laundry shortly...then I think i'll buy a ticket to see a movie in the theater by me (5 minute drive away...) to get myself out of my apt but still relaxed watching a movie. That's really it, not much else, and go to the gym tonight since tomorrow I can't go bc I am going to the beach...but...now that I think about it, I can go tomorrow morning before the beach if I really want to....! then I can wash my hair tomorrow morning...not tonight.....ahhhh the choices!  Yes, I think I may just try it that way....to take it easy the whole day today...? LOL, I can't believe i'm changing my plans again...but...I can fast a lot today I think...and then tomorrow will be busy and Monday not so many plans...I think I have a plan here...

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Sep 04, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Happy Friday!

Today I have my fingers crossed that we get out a little early, possibly around 2pm - they don't tell us ahead of time lol...then i'm off to PT.   I may skip PT and get the keratin hair done....what do you think....it may be better to relax my ankle as it bothers me a bit this morning anyways....then i'll have my hair done for next week for my bday...YEAH. BEST CHOICE FOR MY SITUATION. :)


Today ended with around 1600-1650 cals at most. excellent i'd say :) No exercise, but got a nice haircut and picked up some wonderfully cooked veggies. exotic ones, like bamboo shoots and a warm seaweed salad (a different one from the types you get at Chinese / Japanese restaurants).  I actually have enough veggies to last me def thru the weekend!

Basic plans for the weekend:

Saturday: relaxed during day, (maybe movie or get my nails done, prob not), probably laundry. - plan is really just to get all laundry done so I don't have to do any until next weekend. Gym in evening. Maybe rent a movie from a redbox.  and I've got enough food to last me the weekend - I actually don't have to go food shopping until Monday....YES! great to not have to do these annoying errands all the time & get a break from them! Same with gas, got it today.  I'm actually really happy about all of this.

Sunday: Beach (full day and evening event of course!) hoping to feel better Sunday bc last few I got dizzy driving to beach with my friend. I think it's because I didn't have a lot of downtime before driving these past couple Saturdays.

Monday: also relaxed, massage, yay!, food shopping...day off of exercise, all exercise laundry if not done already or if it builds up a little.

I've been trying to fit a keratin haircut in...maybe next weekend...I wanted to do it on a Sunday after the gym, but they are closed Sundays and i'm trying a new place that has an awesome keratin - only a 24hr wait, not 3 days to wait to wash... :)

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 09/04/2015:
Have a great weekend.

thinkpositive on 09/04/2015:
Sounds like a good plan. Have a fun & relaxing weekend.

biscottibody59 on 09/04/2015:
Looks like you're all set!:-)

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Sep 03, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

So another night without sleeping pill, but sleep was on and off again....but better than Monday night. If I took a sleeping pill last night, it would have been too late and i'd be very tired this morning. Luckily, even though I prob slept more like 6 hrs, I feel pretty awake this morning :)

PT was great, as it always is...conversation was awesome with my PT, like it always is. Flirting, like we always do.  And he brought it up, not me...he said, "when you are fully healed, we'll go out for a celebratory drink..." so....yeah...I guess I need major patience. Next time I see him is my bday this coming Wednesday. I am also going this Friday and next Friday, but he doesn't work then, so I will not see him on those days.  It's certain that we get along really well. Then again, he gets along with everyone really well. The difference is I think we understand each other on a slightly higher level.  Maybe i'm wrong. 

He specifically told me in person last night that it's not that he doesn't want to flirt (by text) or go out now (he is saying that he is interested - he's telling me he does feel the same way as me) ....but it's that he thinks it's still better if I am feeling even better first (in my ankle / left leg).  What he says DOES make sense to me....and I know I need to be patient about this.  I didn't get to say goodbye to him yesterday bc he was in the bathroom or something when I left, so I texted him and thanked him for the laughs...he wrote me back and said laughs are a must :) lol...he's a good man & understands me very well.  I would say I've been friends with him in this way for over a year...and known him a total of a year and 9 months or so....close to 2 years now. 

I do hope i'm lucky enough to possibly date him.  I guess we'd go out sometime in October assuming I get healing thru September. Lately I do feel much stronger with each week, especially after 2 weeks rest. I do notice an increase in ability to continue to put weight on the ankle and so some cardio, finally.  I did 10 min bike and 10 min elliptical last night.  And I don't feel worse this morning.  So...there's some progress, I would say...I am staying very positive about it right now.

I was actually hoping to get a drink with him around the Jewish Holiday dates in September bc I figure I have more time off and the weekend would be a good time to go out with him and all.  But he's going on vaca during those dates lol....and i'm not fully healed. I should be extremely close by the end of this month. After extra days off from work and more rest and relaxation and healing. I am looking forward to making progress...and I already am...throughout this month.

 also, I've started again to wear a "copper" long sock when I sleep...it's a long sock up to my knee and has some sort of metallic threading sewn into it.  You'd never tell...I bought them at a regular pharmacy type store - like CVS (Rite Aid)...and I bought them months ago and started to wear it only on the left leg when sleeping. maybe it'll help healing. can't hurt.

1300 after lunch, a bit too big really...too full lol...

I keep telling myself I want to relax on the jewish holidays but it seems I will be pretty busy getting a haircut, massage, physical therapy.  I don't know - seems I want to make use of the days off...they'll be my last vacation days until last 2 weeks of March...so may as well do what I please with them. :)

1650 before gym.

350 after gym.

2000 after gym. noticed a tightness in my leg starting - thigh - time of the month tomorrow...but it's better than usual because i'm eating better than usual this time around...I am also starting to feel a little better than usual....

happy Friday....I think i'm getting out early and the plan is to go to physical therapy whenever I get outta work tomorrow :)




Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 09/03/2015:
Sounds like a date may work out after you finish PT- that's great.

Umpqua on 09/03/2015:
Good news all around on the PT. I can understand if he doesn't want to mix work and personal stuff but that's great that he made it clear he wants to see you!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Sep 02, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Will go to PT even though skin is not great, but better than yesterday and the day before at least...I am happy to go see him.  It makes me happy to go to PT and not go home and be lazy more...I prefer some activity after work so that's what i'll do.  I even wore a nice top just for the PT. !!! I haven't seen him for two straight weeks. :) can't wait. we've stayed in touch practically everyday though by texting of these 14 days. maybe everyday except yesterday! He's really good to me...understanding.

Early: hot lemon water and banana 150

Breakfast: coffee 50, wrap with egg and butter 200 (small)...maybe 250. so 300.


snack: bar

lunch: chicken, veggies, maybe pretzels...(increasing carbs right now....)

snack before PT: beef jerky, 2 plums, rest of pretzels

after PT: maybe subway again...but I think my jaw is stiff from biting that darn large sandwich after gym last night....2 days in row waking up with stiff jaw on one side of my mouth - sounds stupid as I write it - i'm sure it'll go away today - just like yesterday.

1450 before PT and actually not too hungry right now - it's 7:20 now and I'll prob get home at 7:45?

I did stop at the supermarket on the way home to pick up a chicken to keep me with some good protein for the rest of the week.

2 plums when back at home (I love them bc they are smaller than most individual fruits and stay ripe for awhile). around 100-150.

close to 10pm, had some lentil crackers 120 cal and good mix of fat / protein / carbs.

didn't wanna go to bed hungry and carbs seem to help me, as biscottibody suggested & I did already know....so....yeah.should have went to bed earlier to skip the snack, but i'm enjoying surfing the web tonight lol.

At most 1700. Proud of myself - healthy choices.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/02/2015:
Glad to hear you're going to the PT, enjoy :)

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 01, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

650 before lunch...hoping skin clears soon. probably skipping PT tomorrow just to relax not in the mood to see the guy (my PT) that I text looking really bad like I do right now...skin is the worst...worse than worst. it's the stress of last week, boss away...working by myself all day everyday...

1200 after lunch :)

1550 before gym...

Subway sandwich after gym not more than 350.

1900 at most, great.

Full weights, back, abs.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 09/01/2015:
Hope you can find something to help your skin condition. Take care.

Umpqua on 09/02/2015:
I hope things improve for you soon. Good work at the gym!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Aug 31, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

 anyone have any advice? I have several small whiteheads all over my face, mostly around chin / mouth area....must be hormones. so frustrating! I feel like i'm in high school...maybe if I seriously tried to eat better, I really don't know. 

i'm embarrassed to go to PT Wednesday and see my therapist, as I like him, and feel that I look so aweful....I really don't know what to do about my skin.  it's gotten progressively worse the longer I go without a vacation. i'm such a baby...

500 before lunch. my skin is a disaster more than usual.  I have so much blotchiness-whiteheads/pimples all from stress? I am supposed to go back to PT Wednesday but not looking forward to seeing him looking so bad then...it's just so bad it's not gonna go away by then....especially this week !!!

1150 cal after lunch = very good. pretty balanced lunch, but def older food...leftover veggies since late last week and chicken from Saturday night lol.

No PT today...just picking up food after work and coming home to relax.

Around 2050-2100. 20 min walk.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

livinglight on 08/31/2015:
Do you think you might be having an allergic reaction to something?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/31/2015:
maybe too much dairy? but I don't have a lactose problem...but maybe too much dairy..

Umpqua on 08/31/2015:
^^That was my thought too, maybe a reaction? The allergens are in full effect this time of year. I hope it clears up soon for you!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/31/2015:
thanks...it's soo frustrating, never had such bad acne as a kid. hardly anything ever in high school!

livinglight on 08/31/2015:
(by the way, thanks for the comment on my post from saturday - really great to know that someone understands this! I feel so alone and kind of crazy in it, so it meant a lot to get your message... and advice! I will try that - a better emotional state will immediately mean better food too!)

biscottibody59 on 08/31/2015:
On dairy, some people just find that their skin clears up without it. Might not have anything to do with lactose intolerance, but just inflammation perhaps.

A bonus for those who suffer is elimination/lessening of the effects of hay fever/seasonal allergies.

Have a good week!

ohioraven on 08/31/2015:
The answer may be in those bags of chips.

horn_of_plenty on 08/31/2015:
Maybe you are right :)

thinkpositive on 08/31/2015:
Do you think some kind of detox program might be helpful?

Umpqua on 09/01/2015:
Based on what you've written my guess is stress/TOM causing the skin issues. Is your skin really dry? My skin changes as the weather cools (not that the weather has been cool!) and really dries out. And if I don't moisturize properly it will produce oil to counter the dryness which can cause a sudden breakout. Just a thought.

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Aug 30, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

8:45am: 2 small plums 80, leftover fried rice in a wrap 260, high fat collagen protein bar 230 ~600. And chips darn I knew I had something else to eat. Total 700.

11am, not hungry really, but had a plum 50.maybe some green tea soon.


I was thinking to fast today till noon and try for 1200 cal but now I think if I can get a 1600 cal day I will be happy today....lately I want extra carbs...

1:15: 2 small plums 80, pb 200 on wrap 100,  with banana 120 sf jelly 20 = 500.

1250, followed directly by 300 cals in chips. 1550.

5:45pm: protein bar 170...then decided to eat a bit more: a type of hemp yogurt 130 mixed into warm bran 20, with some sugar free jelly 20 and peanut butter 200. total: 520 or so.

total today: 2070. works for me. my plan to all of a sudden lose a lot of weight by some 1200 cal fasting days will not be starting as of yet (today at least). it's also the week before my you-know-what by my hormones are already completely our of whack due to last week's stressful week of boss being away.  I am broken out on my face all over, more than usual. it could also be to eating badly.

It's like my body really doesn't wanna fast or be deprived of any more carbs...! Or that I can't stick to my plans, not sure, not even gonna go to the supermarket today, only gym (since I did my laundry last night) happy for this one single plan - gym. Had enough running around, that's for sure. Was invited to a Labor Day BBQ next weekend on Saturday but I doubt I'll go - I'm sorta in a rut and just want to be home mostly.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 08/30/2015:
You were hungry this morning - have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/30/2015:
I was, yes, in the morning. :)

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