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horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jul 05, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Happy Thursday!

Home: kombucha 50

whole wheat cream of wheat cereal with hot water and stevia (SO GOOD) like a pastry! 150, coffee 50. 

Yogurt 200 high fat.

Lunch: wrap 100, small amount leftover avocado 50, garlic/salt/pepper, half a small chicken burger 100, veggies 100? fresh. :)  total here: 350 tops.almnds50

snack: plum 50, GRANOLA BAR YUM 150

before gym: something low sugar, i think another wrap 70 with half small turkey burger 80, ketchup, leftover calimari 150?, indian small leftover side 150. 550 approx

after gym: ICE CREAM/banana  400

2000 :)

GOOD MENU.excellent workout.

went out to workout late and home and having that last meal after 10pm...tomorrow have to be at work at 7am so i wont be sleeping much as right now i may even read before i go to sleep! no worries, it's been a much easier week....and the weekend suddenly is more free since my friend that i made plans with cancelled afterall, but ahead of time, so i am not at all upset :)

 

__________________________________________________

 Goal today would be 1900 calories.

___________________________________________________

YESTERDAY WAS AN INDULGENCE. EVERYTHING TASTED SO GOOD!  I'M GLAD TO BE ABLE TO INDULGE :)  POSITVITY!

Today is gym! happy!

Tomorrow i'm jogging :) happy!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/05/2018:
Happy Thursday - thank you for the reminder. Feels so much like a Monday...

Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2018:
excellent that it's Thursday already !!

i'll catch up on your entries soon!


bearcountrygg on 07/05/2018:
I love cream of wheat too.....I just use the water without any sweetener....

Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2018:
it is soooo good. also good to add cinnamon but didn't have any with me - and i don't always need to add the flavor of cinnamon.



horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jul 04, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

8am? a protein bar i wanted to try, but needed to do it when i was "off from work" because i didn't realize but it was a probiotic / prebiotic bar. it was amazing. low sugar. it was a chocolate bar filled of a raspberry really soft jelly, coconut flakes, and with chia seeds. very sweet. and just like the best type of candy you can imagine and low sugar. so tasty. sweetened with more natural things like stevia/erythritol. 200. 

i had it with some selzter sweetened with stevia and then went back to bed. and slept on and off till around 10 or 11. feels good, especially after going to gym the night before. sleep is important! and i got it!

11am kombucha but not much 50.

12:45 Lunch I wanted whole wheat hot cereal with almond milk 200 and a 9% Skyr Raspberry icelandic (greek thick style high fat) yogurt 170. very good...still craving now coffee but would have to leave apt for it. so no. 400.I didn't eat the fresh chicken burgers i made bc i'm going to a bbq with burgers later - and wasn't in mood to eat burgers all day!

650, good.

BBQ eating veggies huge amount 150

Ice cream and cookie 150

Chips 200, pretzels 150, too many stacys pita chips cinnamon sugar 400, hot dog 150, one small drink 100, turkey burger with hair of cheese 250. Total here 1200

2250....lol didn't really stay low cal but the damage isn't terrible.

2090 5day. Better a hair lower but not terrible !

I will keep cals relatively good until this bbq later where i plan to behave fully bc i prepped a TON of veggies for everyone!

 

 

_____________________________________________________________

Later i'm stopping at a BBQ, will not be out too late. Maybe a movie after with Ricky before going to sleep & work tomorrow! So happy to have a midweek day off, Donkey can relate...this is GREAT!

Unrelated, my Period is in really high gear, fast flow lol, so happy to not have plans early this morning! Instead i got some extra "beauty sleep" and cleaned up, prepped and cooked some things for today and seasoned chicken burgers for the week :) Happy to not be rushing around right now! 

My stomach is a bit rumbly so i'm happy to be home and near the bathroom!

also, another set of racks for shoes/bags etc. came in the mail so i'm putting it together. cleaning up and prioritizing. also decided to ship back some clothes to Old Navy - i went a little overboard and the sandals were around $40 and don't fit perfectly, returns are free and there's a post office i'll go to during lunch at work. next, i ordered a cotton dress in a SMALL and they sent me an EXTRA SMALL (but the winner is that this is the SECOND TIME they screwed this dress up on me....i already reordered the dress and this was their second attmept to get it right - but no worries, i'm just going to save money and return it fully). the dress was around $20 and the sandals $40. so that's savings in the end. i have enough sandals and dresses for the rest of the season. 

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/04/2018:
Well...that sounds like a fun, jam packed day....have fun!!!

horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2018:
It was :-)



horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jul 03, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Kombucha 70

pumpernickel bagel with scallion cream cheese 600 and coffee 50

snack? almonds 100

lunch: small wrap with egg and avoacdo, very small. 250

out early probably at 1pm today....did extra walking with friend so not sure about jogging tomorrow?...i showed my friend a large train station that she'll be using to commute bc she moved from Queens to Long Island. I showed her the Long Island Railroad and took her on a short tour. We stopped a couple times along the way from work to the train station, so it took around half hour or a little longer as we looked in some stores.  Maybe more like 45 min. Then we took the subway from there to go home :)

snack before gym: small bar, seltzer with stevia and cherries. 200 and relaxing on the couch for like a half hour.

Working for a lower calorie day...I would be happy with 1700 cal.

Tuesday avg 1700

bigger dinner: saag with cheese leftovers, curry cauliflower 350, ice cream 250...yup! 600.oh and grilled peppers 50.

1950 - good.

Weekly avg 2050 = good.

_____________________________________

gym after work - had a GOOD workout. abs are starting to improve. 

no interest to diet more to lose weight, just to increase cardio

_____________________________________

after work before i go home: quick trip to bank, quick trip to H&M to pick up stretchy, strapless bras. cheap and perfect to wear under ANY shirt. 

_______________________________________

Finally it's that time of the month, really happy about it as I knew it was coming for at least 3 days before i could tell....happy when the symptoms beforehand finally lead into it...and knowing that it will all be over soon !  i think i'll lose weight afterwards. ...not working to lose weight, really what i need is to get more cardio fit.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2018:
I agree with your not dieting....I think from what I understand is that you really are more interested in building muscle and strength...muscle weighs more...so the scales may not be so relevant....you are in GREAT shape!!!! Your FB pics are not showing any fat at all.....GO YOU!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2018:
yeah it's more about strength as my weight is not very far from what i'd ultimately want to be - it's not even really a difference of more than 5 pounds. it's really an issue as you said i want more strength and ability to run in my legs as well as increase my heart's capacity to power me thru a jog. YES...it's much more important right now to work on my fitness :)

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2018:
but i do have a little "flab" at my stomach area and when i put in work at gym, it's annoying that i am not burning all the calories i eat to keep my stomach even flatter. BUT, i'm not about to really lower calories a lot. so this is where i am at :) in general i'm happy. just don't want to gain more weight, because still i gained just under 5lbs from my lowest, and it's really easy to just keep gaining!


happy-1 on 07/03/2018:
Good job! I appreciate that you model positive choices.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2018:
I do make right choices sometimes :) THANK YOU!


Donkey on 07/04/2018:
Were you able to leave work early? My boss had everyone staying until 5pm... Something was up; he was in a bad mood in the morning.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2018:
5pm that is very stinky. i have a nice boss when it comes to holidays. i think the office in Queens gets out at 2pm...we got out at 1pm. i am glad - got a ton more activity in after work. sorry you had to stay for the full time.



horn_of_plenty - Monday Jul 02, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

The weekend was pretty good :-) I have mixed feelings about some of it..

Home: kombucha 100

8am: coffee with milk/stevia 50, wrap 100, avocado 100, chicken/vegies 150

Snacks: almonds 250

Lunch: another of those wraps, above, 350, celery with a little salt. 100. 450. 

dinner: ice cream 280, chocolate triple cream yogurt (not worth it, not very chocolatey)170, chips 150 600

1850 :)

3day: 2070 :-)

 ________________________________________

I really need to lower cals a hair bc i am not so pleased with my shape...but at the same time, i feel i could lose an inch if i get more cardio in...like BCGG this is just a "moment in time" and i can make changes. I don't want to rush changes bc i really want to run someday...and i'm working on it now...but don't want to rush & get another injury.  The court officer thing is not happening yet ...i have time to improve and possibly get in....i just can't rush it and risk injury. 

The classes i've signed up for are done..

Beach yesterday was fun but i am not fully comfortable anymore with a certain person...and not sure how the rest of the summer will play out....

I enjoy hanging out with some friends just one on one and others in a group. mostly one on one..but a lot of the one on one friends that i'd like to bring together like so there's 3 in the group - they dislike each other. it's hilarious

i don't know if i actually want to go to the beach each weekend, probably not for the entire summer every weekend.

i get bored just doing the same thing..she's not interested in new beaches.

right now, i'm a bit antsy. 

i know i just need to up my cardio slowly, and not forget my fitness goals right now.

__________________________________________________

I'm reading an interesting book called Fat!So? ...it's a book about how it shouldn't be a crime to say you are fat...and the author is overweight herself, but in good health otherwise. No diabetes or any other issue. I haven't gotten far in the book yet, but basically she's saying that having some extra pounds shouldn't be something frowned upon in society, especially when a person is otherwise healthy. She writes about her experiences as well as others'. There's a lot of medical facts and research but also funny quizzes...i'm not sure i'll finish the book...

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Sounds like you should look on meetup.com for people meeting up at new beaches!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
you def did get a gist of my entry today...you are def on the right track here :)


happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Maybe even doing beach workouts first!t

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
yeah, this would be cool..i should look to see if there's outdoor gyms :) by me!


happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Meetup has people running fitness bootcamps, out here especially they are on the beach and people just hang out after.


bearcountrygg on 07/02/2018:
Well....anyway...it will be nice to have a midweek vacay.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
YES INDEED :)



horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jul 01, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

3am couldn't sleep and had chips and not whipped cream but whipped cococream made of coconut oil instead still junk but couldn't resist buying it! Kombucha 100, lollipop 50 Popcorn 150, plum 50, veggies 200, edamame 150. 550 Big dinner 2 fried spring rolls 200, rice 250, zucchini 100, squid 150, veggies in a basil spicy sauce 200, cherries 50, whipped non dairy cream - not that good won't buy again 150. 1100?! Crud! 2200. Shoot and ices 2300.

2175 PER DAY, 2 days. yesterday i sorta went overboard at dinner, but nothing major. healthy day.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/01/2018:
Whipped cococream sounds delicious!

Hope you had a chance to sleep in a little bit...

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
it's not very good, i don't recommend. and high in cals.


bearcountrygg on 07/01/2018:
That does sound good.

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
not that great, don't buy it! empty waste of cals.


happy-1 on 07/01/2018:
Yum!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
WHIPPED COCOCREAM TASTES BAD!



horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jun 30, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Today is mostly relaxed :-)

Late 10am-10:30 breakfast: strawberries 100 tops, wrap 100, lots of saag and one piece of the paneer cheese 300, egg 100. kombucha 50. total here: 650.

noon: almonds, bite size protein bar 200

1:30 - greek yogurt 2% cocoa powder, stevia, peanut butter. 250 total

1150 coffee healthy dinner bread 100 chicken 250 salad 200 550 1600 before gym

2050 total.

gym was 30 min bc i got there too late and they closed after 30 min...all is good - got a lot done today.

________________________________________________

Plans are to do all my laundry so i'm super prepared for the Holiday week ahead as well as the beach tomorrow with my friend Christine :-P Super happy. And tomorrow should be a beautiful day at the beach! It's really nice beach days all the way yesterday thru Tuesday coming..so i'm happy to be there tomorrow...and Wednesday the 4th looks cloudy so i'm not yet sure of my plans. Ricky invited me to see a movie at his place, and i may take him up on his offer!!

Last night the beach worked out perfectly with some Shuffleboard and a free concert that we only watched a little of - we mostly walked and played shuffleboard :) Makes me content with refraining from doing cardio today as i'm enjoying some rest and relaxation at home!

Tonight is the gym - so it gets done 3x a week is always the goal. 

oh, and sometime today Ricky said he's stopping by to hang one last piece of wall art for me!! cheers! I love my beautiful apt, more beautiful thanks to both the ideas of Christine & Ricky.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/30/2018:
I need to look up paneer cheese...never heard of that.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2018:
an Indian version of cottage cheese - they then add acid in the process of making it and it stays solid in cube form even in warm foods. its higher in protein than a lot of cheeses with a very mild taste - its good...it comes in the spinach dish and i can't ask for them to take it out...so i end up throwing it out a lot or eating a few!


Donkey on 06/30/2018:
Sounds like you've planned well for Sunday and Wednesday! I have no plans for Wednesday, but I'm thinking maybe I should, for myself... ya know?

Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2018:
YES! plans don't have to be huge...! just have something in mind you want to do...it'll feel good to have done something on that day off...

we have a chance of a very cloudy day Wednesday. if so, i'll stay home and do cardio...and watch a movie with ricky that we rent. we didn't end up hanging my picture today, but we watched a movie we found in the Red Box...it turned out great, i think it was called Gringo


bearcountrygg on 07/01/2018:
we have cheese curds here...sounds like something similar


happy-1 on 07/01/2018:
Ricky's back in the picture? Resilient!



horn_of_plenty - Friday Jun 29, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Totally planned to sleep in - did it successfully. 

Late Breakfast: wrap 100, half avocado 160 with garlic/salt, egg 100, coffee 50. 400.

Lunch: chickpea salad 300?? a coworker gave me and tomatoes 100 (lots). 

Snack: almonds 100? later a decaf coffee 100 extra milk.

Naan 150, beef burger 200, lots of Indian veggies in a little sauces 400. 750 1750

cookies, come beer   2050 total

Week ends at 2100 per day - decent.

_____________________________________

Dinner: veggies and Indian food....tbd...friend wanted me to pick him up some too...at home, i'm planning on a wrap with indian veg and some deli meat! Ricky will join me for dinner too!

_____________________________________

Went into work late on purpose (made up most of the time lol...little bad today on purpose...). Happy to sleep in bc my workout got started really late last ight at 8pm, home around 10pm from gym. I had gotten drenched in the rain walking home without a jacket/umbrella (clothes still hanging wet at home today since last night!). so i relaxed and had a nice light drink of a large can of "Spindrift" water - my new favorite! I sweeted it extra with Stevia of course.  Tastes like delicious soda - Strawberry flavor...so i went to gym really late, had a banana for a  little energy since my snack was around 5:30 and now it was 8pm starting my workout. Everything worked out last night and sleeping in helped me so much, although i did feel completely dead walking to the bus and on the train, i feel better now at work.

I don't have much work today - my superior is on vacation and i finsihed my assignments. i can review, for sure, for my own clarification and knowledge of what i did though..but first writing to you all and relaxing lol...i don't think today is a day that requires too much work here at work from me - I am seriously taking it easy...and i plan to enjoy the weekend and the beach on the 4th...and not be really tired like i have been for past holidays, etc.

______________________________________

Tonight after work I'm going home first. Bringng home Indian food to share with Ricky as he requested it since i am always saying how good it is at this particular takeout spot right on my way home near the train where i work in city now...so i'll get that food and take it on my hour commute home haha...i do this frequently bc i like this food and like eating it on weekend. 

We have NO INDIAN restaurants where we live directly in my neighborhood that i'm aware of - we have to drive over 20 min to get to them - sometimes 30min. So having this one good Indian restaurant in the city is a blessing. There's one more, but it's not as reliable with it's offereings bc it's smaller and a lower quality. but i like that there's two options. Two Indian restaurants in a big city in the area where i work is NOTHING. Indian is NOT popular everywhere yet. It's mostly popular in the neighborhoods where Indian (and related ethnicities) live - which is not in MANHATTAN...but is in areas of Queens that are like i said 20-30min from me. And those places are GREAT in Queens. Very popular in some neighborhoods.

After we eat dinner, Ricky and i are going to a concert at the beach! It's free! Parking is free too! It's at a smaller bandshell. The music is a cover band that is known to be pretty good and playing Beatles songs! They call themselves the Liverpool Shuffle.  And speaking of shuffle, i'm hoping to also get a few rounds of shuffleboard in before the concert starts :) They have shuffleboard courts at this beach - it's called Jones Beach and highly popular and huge public beach on LI that has just about everything!

So we'll get home late tonight, and i plan to sleep in again tomorrow. Saturday will be low key - laundry / small food prep - with gym in evening (keeping the routine!) and Sunday i'll be with my old friend Christine at beach all day/dinner on way home...and go to bed in time to wake up for work Monday morning!  I may also do some cardio Saturday early based on how i feel.

Weekend is looking fantastic..

 

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 06/29/2018:
Sounds like a great plan. Enjoy your food and the beach.

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
ty IP...

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
btw, thank you for your comments the other day.


Donkey on 06/30/2018:
Friday sounds like it was a lovely day -- not too bad at work, fun after hours :-)

Well done on the calories too!

I hope that your weekend will include cardio - reach for those goals!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2018:
So far, so good :-) Very happy about how the end of the week (yesterday) panned out and that i'm not feeling like death today! I really planned the week, which i thought was going to be sooo difficult with a union meeting and a class involved during the week...i planned it really well! super happy. <3

thank you Donkey. i'm feeling much better than usual.


bearcountrygg on 06/30/2018:
Sounds like a nice day......


happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Oooh beatles covers at the beach. That's a happy summer.



horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jun 28, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

kombucha 50, coffee later 100

wrap 60, half avocado 160, garlic and salt, egg 100...320

Snack: not sure, prob almonds 100

Lunch: from home...peppers and tomatoes 100, wrap 100 with 1/4 avocado 100 and small burger 200. 500..sort of craving chips...will instead it matzah crackers i have here with my lunch 100...

snack:  fruit and almonds 150

dinner: natural bar and later kombucha bc bloated 300 1650....

banana 1750

ice cream 320

2050-2100

6day: 2090

_____________________________________________

I think i'm becoming mentally drained.  I can get that way sometimes leading into holidays, thinking i want to make so many plans...i'm deciding to relax at home Saturday to prep for the next week, to get the gym in at night...to stick to my own goals :)

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/28/2018:
I too get that way sometimes going into a holiday. Having the holiday in the middle of the week, though, is just too surreal.

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
I feel much better having slept in - came to work at 10am. a little bad but...ah well!...i made up most of the time, but not the whole 2 hours. nobody is here. i'm just glad i slept in...the weekend should be a LOT smoother now. lol.



horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jun 27, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

kOMBUCHA 50 COFFEE 50

WRAP 100 with egg 100, 1/2 lg avocado 100, salt and garlic, potato 100 tops.

snack: salted almonds 200

lunch: wrap 80, 1/4 lg avocado 100, burger 200. around 400 and veggies 100. 600 tops.

1300 and leaving at 3:30 for my class :)...class gets out early enough to get on my bike after and go to the track where i'll walk / jog 1 mile (enough for tonight) and then bike back home.

 

Apricot

1350

Dinner veggies cooked 150, wrap 100 with avocado and Lox 150, chips 200. Total 600

currently getting ready to ride my bike and exercise - I can do this !

2000 total and I did the jog and bike ride. Jog was a little easier and I can almost jog a straight mile now :)

5day 2092

 lately i feel so fat. i have extra fat now on my stomach. Cardio will happen tonight!

__________________________________________________________

Please help me all:

 I NEED MAJOR ADVICE on how to deal with my issue at work with new coworker that just moved into my office but i'm actually her friend around 4-5 years and have actually hung out socially with her:

 2 comments she joked and was sarcastic about, and i will NOT be taking that sh*t all the time: 

1. "You are cold because you need to do more work - if you worked a little more you wouldn't be so cold"

2. "Why you heading home now !? You have no kids at home waiting for you..."  (when i left at my standard time)

Her words are soooooo uncalled for. I would NEVER make comments like that towards anyone, tho it's better she say it to me instead of about me.  I may just let her keep on saying things and let someone else call her out on it, actually. I think she does it so that she can feel better about herself, being moved into a new office (she's very new to everything just like i was a couple months ago) and she probably is feeling threatened and is needing to act all "macho" and aggressive is my guess (she's VERY aggressive - her body is more man than woman - not being mean i'm just saying this is DEFINITELY the scenario - i can smell it...) so maybe i'll just be easy on her, though, her language to me has got me in a tizzy.

She's around 42 and with myself being 35, it is SO DISRESPECTFUL to make condescending jokes on anyone let alone at work telling me in front of my other coworkers that 

1. i am not a good worker

2. i should stay late bc i don't have KIDS / not married!

well let me tell you something, how darn rude that second comment is - i dealt SO MUCH with this when i first started working and if anyone EVER tells me that i cannot go home at my normal time or comments like all bc i am single i should stay....OH...there will be some balls or breasts to freaking smack. well...let me tell you, i used to work HOURS AND HOURS of OT and got sick FROM IT..literally sick and out of work a month...nobody will EVER tell me i cannot leave at my scheduled time bc i have no kids...let alone another woman who cherishes finally her freedom. She needs to cool it with me - she cannot continue this.  i had a lot of male bosses previously who were keen to say, "oh, well, you don't have kids so you can stay..." this is not cool on any level with me bc of past comments. i'm going to watch to see if she keeps going....bc she cannot say these things with my permission. 

she's actually divorced WITHOUT full custody of her son bc she chose to pay child support bc she wants the freedom to be able to do some of the hobbies and things that she wants, including teaching an apprentice class. good stuff. she has also written an autobiographical type of book. but, don't you see how her saying a comment that i shouldn't get to leave makes no sense!? i could tell her such cruel things...about her deciding it's ok to not even have her kid live with her during the week...! like, she needs to stop with me. i will not say that to her, but i swear i'm gonna put an end to it.

about this woman, i said earlier she's actually a friend (not a close one). she likes to party way harder than me and drink and eat more.  I prefer not to hang with her socially late and drinking as it does nothing good for me....but i have done a few social things with her. and she actually invited me to her bbq which means i'd have to sleep over as it's over 2 hours away so it'd be a weekend big deal...i was eager to go, but this scenario makes me think it over, this situation of her two comments today leave me with a VERY SOUR taste in my mouth. 

How would you deal with her?

I'll tell her I'll leave at my scheduled time when i want to leave at my scheduled time and i don't answer to her.!!!!!!!!!!! i'll have to say it. i'm not taking her words again, especially in front of others.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/27/2018:
Oh man, that's definitely not ok. Not sure how to deal with it though.

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
she def has a bit of issues herself.


happy-1 on 06/27/2018:
She sounds like a bully though. Bullys get power through fear. If other people are afraid, then they will go along with her the longer she has to run amok.


happy-1 on 06/27/2018:
It is definitely a boundary you have to enforce. Still chewing on this. I feel like gd or bcg will know better than I do. But it takes numbers to face down a bully... even if you are the one to start it off (and good for you for being brave)... maybe start with responding to her with "That's not how it works. We leave on time and come back on time.", "we all have to work and also have a life. Having kids doesn't make someones time more important than mine, its just how they have chosen to spend it" or something else to enforce that boundary right off. Silence is acceptance.

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
WILL KEEP ALL ADVICE IN MIND...


innerpeace on 06/27/2018:
Well it's a process. First you tell her, 'I'm not comfortable with your comments about my work and/or quitting time.' If it continues, you tell her again, 'I'm still not comfortable with the the comments you make about blah' and then if she keeps on after the second time you say it 'i've told you twice I'm not comfortable with your comments, now i'm going to file a complaint' whether it be for hostile work environment or harassment. Keep detailed logs and follow through with your complaint. That's the only way to nip it in the bud, especially if these comments affect any/or all of your work or creates tension. Good luck with this, I hope she listens the first time.

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
I WILL KEEP ALL ADVICE IN MY MIND...I WOULD NEVER involve any other authority on this....i hope she calms down..she's new here...i think she's getting used to it all...

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
in terms of HR or getting anyone above me involved, i do not want to ever do that. i don't like to ever take matters to anyone else in the company..but could never especially do that in this case as she is my friend.

she has a lot of physical back pain and things going on with her. she may just have taken it out on me. i don't know...but she's been very nice to me since Tuesday - with her giving me some food for lunch yesterday and today asking me if i wanted to walk outside with her...i think she was just getting used to it over here.


Donkey on 06/27/2018:
I think Happy and IP have given you very good advice. I think what I would actually say to her is "Wow, I cannot believe you just said that to me!" You have a small workspace; I'd say that loudly.

This is not a friend.

horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2018:
I like your advice..

I think she's suffering now with some anxiety with a new position and stuff -

Today she was basically really nice and offered me food she knows I like - I think she's nervous so acting even louder and saying more comments without thinking than typical. I know she's exhausted ..


graindart on 06/27/2018:
If it were me, I'd just pause and see if it's going to be a continuous thing or if it was just stupid remarks brought on by something else. If it were to continue for a couple weeks, I'd do something about it. However there is always a chance the coworker just has "jitters" from being moved into a new environment. When I get nervous or uneasy, I tend to shut up and try to fade into the wallpaper. But I've seen others that act the exact opposite way and end up just babbling away, often times with stupid remarks.

The tone and intent of the 2 comments you mentioned are probably much more important than the comments themselves. I admit they're "weird" coming from someone new to the office, but maybe she's hoping since she already knows you that talking with you will somehow calm some of her stress.

I'm a guy. And I obviously don't know the tone that the comments were delivered in. So if I received the comments from another guy that was a casual friend, I probably wouldn't care much at all. In fact in my circle of friends, the closer you are, the more grief you usually give each other (light-hearted kidding of course). Maybe she not only has physical features resembling a guy, maybe her mind actually tends to work like one also.

Again, my disclaimer is that I'm a guy. Things may work differently between women (and I'm sure my wife would probably see things differently here).

horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2018:
Yes your thoughts are all accurate ...


happy-1 on 06/28/2018:
Gd- It's not just a guy thing. My closest girls talk smack worse than the guys and would put them to shaaaaame. What she's describing is different... it's boundary testing and victim seasoning. She's planting little seeds of perception that other people will hear and change their opinions of her so she can force her out because they were friends and hop knows her vulnerabilities and she feels threatened by that and is choosing to strike first and do a force out. It is the most insidiuous form of mean girl bullying, does nit belong, and IP just gave you very good advice. This woman is not your friend, she is a nutbag that pretended to be your friend to get your inside track and leverage to f with you.

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
WILL KEEP THIS IN MIND!


innerpeace on 06/28/2018:
I believe there are no friends at work, only acquaintances, these people would probably use you as a stepping stone to get ahead. I trust no one, especially those that smile in your face. But I work for the government, so maybe that's just me. Good luck, I hope you find a solution.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
i sometimes forget how work is work....and to trust folks a little less!



horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jun 26, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

NEED MAJOR ADVICE on how to deal with my issue at work with new coworker that just moved into my office but i'm actually her friend around 4-5 years and have actually hung out socially with her:

 2 comments she joked and was sarcastic about, and i will NOT be taking that sh*t all the time: 

1. "You are cold because you need to do more work - if you worked a little more you wouldn't be so cold"

2. "Why you heading home now !? You have no kids at home waiting for you..."  (when i left at my standard time)

Her words are soooooo uncalled for. I would NEVER make comments like that towards anyone, tho it's better she say it to me instead of about me.  I may just let her keep on saying things and let someone else call her out on it, actually. I think she does it so that she can feel better about herself, being moved into a new office (she's very new to everything just like i was a couple months ago) and she probably is feeling threatened and is needing to act all "macho" and aggressive is my guess (she's VERY aggressive - her body is more man than woman - not being mean i'm just saying this is DEFINITELY the scenario - i can smell it...) so maybe i'll just be easy on her, though, her language to me has got me in a tizzy.

She's around 42 and with myself being 35, it is SO DISRESPECTFUL to make condescending jokes on anyone let alone at work telling me in front of my other coworkers that 

1. i am not a good worker

2. i should stay late bc i don't have KIDS / not married!

well let me tell you something, how darn rude that second comment is - i dealt SO MUCH with this when i first started working and if anyone EVER tells me that i cannot go home at my normal time or comments like all bc i am single i should stay....OH...there will be some balls or breasts to freaking smack. well...let me tell you, i used to work HOURS AND HOURS of OT and got sick FROM IT..literally sick and out of work a month...nobody will EVER tell me i cannot leave at my scheduled time bc i have no kids...let alone another woman who cherishes finally her freedom. She needs to cool it with me - she cannot continue this.  i had a lot of male bosses previously who were keen to say, "oh, well, you don't have kids so you can stay..." this is not cool on any level with me bc of past comments. i'm going to watch to see if she keeps going....bc she cannot say these things with my permission. 

she's actually divorced WITHOUT full custody of her son bc she chose to pay child support bc she wants the freedom to be able to do some of the hobbies and things that she wants, including teaching an apprentice class. good stuff. she has also written an autobiographical type of book. but, don't you see how her saying a comment that i shouldn't get to leave makes no sense!? i could tell her such cruel things...about her deciding it's ok to not even have her kid live with her during the week...! like, she needs to stop with me. i will not say that to her, but i swear i'm gonna put an end to it.

about this woman, i said earlier she's actually a friend (not a close one). she likes to party way harder than me and drink and eat more.  I prefer not to hang with her socially late and drinking as it does nothing good for me....but i have done a few social things with her. and she actually invited me to her bbq which means i'd have to sleep over as it's over 2 hours away so it'd be a weekend big deal...i was eager to go, but this scenario makes me think it over, this situation of her two comments today leave me with a VERY SOUR taste in my mouth. 

How would you deal with her?

I'll tell her I'll leave at my scheduled time when i want to leave at my scheduled time and i don't answer to her.!!!!!!!!!!! i'll have to say it. i'm not taking her words again, especially in front of others.

 

__________________________________________________

kombucha. 80...

stomach is very messed up due to loads of tasty veggies last night..i hope it'll fix itself by tomorrow morning.

1050 -1100 cal after lunch...healthy food...skipped morning snack..

zone protein bar, coffee

1 candy

Olive flavor really tasty chips, pumpernickel wrap with 1/4 lg avocado and an egg with salt and garlic, sweet small fresh peppers

pieces of chocolate, very little bit

must eat healthier later, my tongue feels like everything's either too salty or sweet.

1100 so far, healthy day...

Before gym: will have a wrap with lox and cream cheese i think.

__ 1600 after subway flatbread roast beef sandwich

1900 TOTAL EXCELLENT

4 DAY AVG: 2115, better.

__________________________________________

For some reason, maybe i need less sleep lately i don't know!?  probably i do need it...but i told my coworker i'd come a half hour early tomorrow...so i guess i'm just having difficulty balancing work and home right nnow and relaxing...idk...but for the past 3 nights i'm constantly waking up - tho - the two nights before this one there was some caffeine in the mix, so this i'm SURE is lingering sleep effects! 

I've been able to work OT and i plan to come 2 hours late to work on Friday instead of taking the day fully off...I'll save the day to use later in the summer, most probably. I want to sleep in a little bit on Friday bc i'm going to a concert that night. So instead of getting up at like 6, i'll be able to sleep in till like 7:30-8. works for me.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/26/2018:
A fitbit with sleep monitoring will tell you if you are getting enough sleep.

horn_of_plenty on 06/26/2018:
YES lately it's horrible...hamster has been extra loud lately...she's in heat...and her smell when i was petting her last night totally came off on me! really exotic musty smell! had to wash my hands well to get it off!

horn_of_plenty on 06/26/2018:
it's from too much caffeine.


bearcountrygg on 06/26/2018:
Olive flavored chips sound interesting.



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