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horn_of_plenty - Monday Jan 28, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Monday entry:

As i sit here, I stuff my face. Definitely bingy...it's ok. The good thing, it's low cal, mostly healthy food. I planned on going to yoga today but have reconsidered and I am taking the night off from yoga. I didn't study last night....and i need to tonight. I have LOTS to memorize and I must start now, or at least tonight.

OK, time to study... :)

30 min exercise.

2150 cal.

total exercise: 38hrs, 20 min :)

Tomorrow is volunteering after work...then I plan on studying - no yoga. I will exercise in the AM again, like today, so that I do NOT have to exercise after work and I can just veg with index cards and the tv. That is my plan for tomorrow, nothing else. :)

thinnsidenotout on 01/28/2008:
Get some rest, so you can have a refreshed mind to memorize what you need to. Good Luck!


fritters on 01/28/2008:
Sounds like a good plan! Study hard :~)


CritterMom on 01/29/2008:
Get that studying done...most important! Once in a while you need a break from the exercise, or do a different sort to mix it up a bit. Play some music and just dance to a song or two to get that heart rate up, then go back to studying.


caz on 01/29/2008:
Have a fab day, and good luck with the studies.


mcwoo40 on 01/29/2008:
Hiya,Glad it was all healthy stuffs you where eating which is half the battle.I'm going to have a couple of days off from the gym a week as i will start to get fed up.I've started to plan different walks where i can take Alfie as i was getting fed up with the beach,but it is so peaceful there.Hope you are not brain dead with all that studying.I would'nt be able to study here as there is too much noise for you to consentrate hope you don't have this problem,be good,Julie


TheMother on 01/29/2008:
It's so nice that even though you have a full schedule, you still find time to volunteer. What type of volunteer work is it? Good luck with the studying and memorizing. I remember those days all too well (and it was quite a few years ago - ha!). Take care. TM



horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jan 27, 2008

Weight: 0.0

I was looking over the past 30 days...SEVEN of them were binges, or eating over 2,000! wow! that's a lot! I didn't realize I was doing it so often! This amounts to almost twice a week...no wonder i don't see much progess as of yet! Time to suck it up and try harder!

exercise: 1hr, 50min

total exercise: 37hrs, 50min hours! yay for definitely breaking 40 by the end of this month! :)

calories: 1650. I was planning for lower but ended up having an apple and a banana after dinner with some parkay spray butter, cinnamon, and peanut spread. so, calories went up a bit. still healthy...and i did do yoga. I felt i needed the carbs! :)

My class in Anatomy and Physiology went well today. There are many people in the class with prior knowledge, though. So, I have a lot of work in store for me! That's ok. The class ended so early that I was able to have a nice lunch and go to yoga at 3pm! I'm so glad I went despite being tired.

For some reason, I have been exhausted all weekend. I think I may have been dehydrated from the hot yoga. drinking black tea probably didn't help. Also, I missed a lot of sleep since last week. All these factors probably contributed to my energy levels.

On another note, I am proud of myself for staying under 2000 and not having any massive issues with calories, especially during the weekend. I do better when I have things to do, for sure! I am looking foward to a continued success in my weightloss throughout the spring.

Goodnight everyone.

shadetree on 01/27/2008:
Glad your class went well! And nice to see you went to yoga despite...A good day all around! Good night!


maria777 on 01/27/2008:
Ohhhh, so happy for you on your calories and your 1 hr 50 min ex! YAY!!! to you!!! Hope you get some rest and FEEL BETTER! Big happy smile to you!


workingit2 on 01/27/2008:
Great job HOP! Reading your diary really fuels my itch to return to school and learn something new. It takes guts to switch gears and go for it the way you are...how powerful! Have a great night and rest well!


fritters on 01/27/2008:
Your calories have been great, and you are fantastic when it comes to getting in your exercise! I am glad that your class went well. I have never heard of a college class on Sunday!


timeforachange on 01/27/2008:
Sounds like you had a good day! Don't be discouraged about the binges..you are still doing awesome! Hope you get your energy back and continue doing well! Have a great week =)


leeumom on 01/27/2008:
Great exercise time. Sounds like you might be dehydrate, Nice that you recognize it. Keep it up!


hollybelle on 01/28/2008:
Good to hear your excited about your classes. About the people with "prior knowledge" - maybe you will find someone to be a "study-buddy" with....who knows, maybe even a cute guy???? I don't know why I'm having such romantic notions on Monday morning!! Just crazy I guess. Hope your tiredness abates and you have a wonderful week.


mcwoo40 on 01/28/2008:
Hiya,Hope you've had a great weekend.The answer to your question.I've had sweet potato once.I had it baked,it was ok i may even try it again.When i do boiled potatoes i normally leave the skins on even when i mash them to get more fibre,only cos I'm lazy and can't be bothered peeling them!!!I adore jacket potato and baked beans with coleslaw yum.here's to another great week from us,take care Julie


caz on 01/28/2008:
Your classes sound interesting, and sounds like you enjoy them. Well done on keeping good tabs on your calories..keep it up.



horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jan 26, 2008

Weight: 0.0

sunday afternoon edit:

yesterday ended ok afterall! 1960 cal. yay for not messing with my progress! :) Today will be good because I am determined. I am also VERY tired. I've been really tired all weekend. Last week kinda messed up my sleep patterns. It's ok...I'll figure it out.

My class got out about 2 hours early today...so YOGA HERE I COME! yay! I am going to try to take a short nap before yoga. I wouldn't be able to take this yoga class if i didn't get out early from anatomy and physiology! yay.

I've had an extra large apple, kombucha tea, 2.5 servings almonds, and a mcdonalds asian chicken salad. total cal so far: 850 that's good.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

saturday evening entry:

not a great day. i was snacking all morning, no exercise. I did go visit my grandmother and go on a walk with her but i can't count that bc it was part of my daily routine.

i ate really bad stuff around noon. I had a whole potato knish (basically oily dough on outside with potato inside) and part of another knish. I also had some peanut butter and an english muffin and many almonds. oh well. not a day for the books, but also not a monstrously bad day either.

tomorrow is my first class in anatomy and physiology...haha, and i thought that after my master's i'd be done with school for awhile! lol. the class is from 8:40am until 3pm. Supposedly, there's only a 20 min break. hopefully, we get more...

i need to up my cardio.

total calories: 1960...but I may have to have a snack...and the snack i want will bring my total to 2120 if i do indulge. If i didn't poorly eat this afternoon, i'd be better with calories now. live and learn!

exercise: none. took a break.

mmuraro on 01/26/2008:
1950 is not bad at all! and you dont seem like you have that much to lose, so just keep up! :)


mcwoo40 on 01/27/2008:
Hiya,come on you where doing so well.Take yesterday as your 'day off'.You have a busy day today so less time to eat.Hope all that pen pushing does'nt tire you out!! Bye Julie


maria777 on 01/27/2008:
That sounds so sweet, your visit and walk with your Grandmother...I miss mine, she is gone now. Your menu for today sounds fantastic!



horn_of_plenty - Friday Jan 25, 2008

Weight: 0.0

something weird happened to me this week. I did yoga most days and ate well, but i found my body actually bloated last night and this morning. Not bloated from food, either. Actually a bit swollen in the abdomin and thighs! Strange water gain. Maybe I have been having more salt than i realize? Its not TOM, either!

the day is done. I did go to yoga and I'm glad i went bc i love this particular teacher and she spent major time on me!!! I was standing right next to her, so it was really a great experience.

total exercise: 1hr, 30 min.

total ex: 36 hrs. A definitely at least 40 hours this month. Most were from yoga, not cardio, though. I think cardio is really, really important and a goal for February is to work on getting a least a minimal amount of cardio 4x a week. Minimal means 1/2 hour a day, 4 days a week. I have totally slacked on cardio this month!

total cal: 1310. I keep wanting more, but I keep telling myself that I'm VERY tired and i should just go to sleep bc i probably would have the ability to sleep for a long time and not wake up do to hunger in the middle of the night. Sometimes, when i don't eat enough, I will wake up in the middle of the night really hungry. However, i am not hungry now, but i am REALLY tired. I always mistake being hungry for really being tired.

long day...i can't wait for sleep! :)

CharlieAngel on 01/25/2008:
Vince recently started me on yoga too! I must say I really did not expect how effective it is. I'm intriqued enough that I want to spend more time researching and doing yoga and meditation. Hope you have a successful night and get some good sleep. Since I have the inclination to be a night owl but have responsibilities of the early bird...I too, crave sleep. Sweetest Dreams!


mylifechanges on 01/25/2008:
great job on yoga! I'm glad you've found an instructor who's taken on the initiative of pouring into you! good job on cals too! you're doing great- now go get some sleep and let your body rest! :)


mylifechanges on 01/25/2008:
p.s. I agree with you on water intake- every time I make my morning/evening tea, I think I'm getting in more water too!! :)


geevee on 01/25/2008:
Don't downplay the importance of yoga. I'm telling you, it's like the magic elixer of exercise. Doing yoga is doing a complete exercise. I don't think you need anything else. And there's nothing better than having a yoga instructor that you like.


workingit2 on 01/26/2008:
I hope you had a nice, relaxing and restful evening!



horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jan 24, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Friday afternoon 5pm edit: it's been a long day and i'm very tired. I am going to go to yoga, though, because I do not think it could possibly take any more energy of of me than is already taken out.

I was dehydrated this morning and my mouth was really sticky and white along my lips. I didn't realize until i looked in the mirror. I immediately drank a ton of water after that. I think its because i went to yoga last night and didn't rehydrate enough afterwards.

i will comment on your journals tonight! :) Enjoy your evenings.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

late Thursday night edit: 1520 calories. very good day. goodnight, I am soo tired!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

5:20pm edit: NO binge today. yes!!! I am a tad tired, though. I've been up since about 3am! I will go to yoga. calories are 1290...My goal is to stay in the 1500s. Very doable! :)

yoga time....

Funny story, I decided to walk to the test today. It's only a mile away! My sister usually uses my car anyway, so I took the walk. It was a bit cold...around 27 degrees...but an overall good walk! Then, I walked back, had a snack and went to work for a 1/2 day.

exercise will be 2hrs, 10 min. :) yay.

total exercise: 34hrs, 30 min :)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Today is my last entrance exam for another radiography program. It starts at 9 only a few blocks away from my house. The test is about 3 hours, so I called in for a 1/2 sick day at work.

I woke up MAD early, as usual when I things on my mind. Obviously, what's on my mind today is the test! How early, you ask? 3am. I layed in bed, tossing and turning until 4:30 when I couldn't take it any longer. Since then, now its 5:50, I have had a large apple and 3 extra extra large cups of tea with milk and sweet and low. (200 cal total) I do not want to binge before my test...and I will not. I think I may go back to sleep for an hour now.

I haven't had a good walking plan in the morning for a couple of weeks now. I may get back into it starting tomorrow with no less than a 1/2 hour walk in the AM. I'm getting lazy and caring more about calories than cardio exercise i think. When I do not exercise in the morning, I believe its easier to keep calories low during the school day bc I don't need as much fuel.

I definitely DON'T want to miss yoga tonight at 6:30 due to being tired. I will not give into temptation to binge or miss yoga! But, I think I will make an effort to get to bed really early...even 9pm or earlier if I am that wiped out from no sleep! :)

borntocry on 01/24/2008:
Wow, that really is mad early. That's about the time I went to sleep last night!

I feel like I have to make the same trade-off between calories and cardio. If I go running on my lunch break, then I pretty much have to eat something quite substantial afterwards, whereas if I don't do any exercise I can go the whole day without eating. But then by the time I leave work I don't have much energy and am more likely to blow off any plans for an evening exercise session. I don't know what the solution is. These days I'm concentrating on the exercise but after a high-calorie day I tend to concentrate more on the calories.

Chances are you're going to be really tired this evening so you might have to rely on tea/coffee to keep yourself going. Good luck with the exam!


workingit2 on 01/24/2008:
Little by little you are learning all the pieces of the puzzle that trigger your binges and you are getting them in better control..good for you!! Good luck on the exam!!


fritters on 01/24/2008:
4:30 is a horrible time to get up (but that is when my alarm goes of)! I hope you gat enough rest to beable to do your best on your test. You should be ready to crash early- sleep instead of binging!! You sound like you are really figuring yourself out. That is so good. Good luck today!


fritters on 01/24/2008:
I have been reading through diaries and the comments that were left, and I have to tell you, I love reading what you write. You have such good insight and good information AND good since of humor! It is always fun to read what you write to the other D.D. writters!!


thinnsidenotout on 01/24/2008:
Funny..A Lot of people up early this morning...I was up @ 2:45..My husband got called to work. He is a orchard wind machine mechanic and with the single digit temps here, he has to work on anything that breaks down ,when it breaks down..I tossed and turned for about an hour before being able to get about an hours sleep and then had to wake the son up @ 5:45 to get ready for school.. This is going to be a long day!!! Hoping you did great on your test. Get some rest!


dearerdiarist on 01/24/2008:
I hope by some miracle that your day got better as it progressed. No sleep before a big day... Way Baaaaaad. You are a trooper, talking about Yoga tonight. I would SO be crawling home to sleep. I hope that the test goes well for you..... sitting here with fingers crossed :)


mcwoo40 on 01/24/2008:
Hiya,I guess i am feeling happier in myself maybe cos i'm doing something about my weight.I just wanted to get my birthday over with so i could start it properly plus i think it was at the back of my mind that i was my 40th and it seemed old.Anyway they say 'life begins at 40'so I'm ready and waiting.Hope you catch up on your sleep aswell,Julie


shadetree on 01/24/2008:
YAY!!!!!!!!!!! What a good day despite the early rise! Maybe you need to get up early every day! :) Enjoy yoga and then get some sleep!


workingit2 on 01/24/2008:
Congrats on the great walk to and from the test and on the no binge! Keep up the great work!


Donkey on 01/24/2008:
Good luck! Let us know how you do!!!!



horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jan 23, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Today is going well. I was in a good mood all day. Tomorrow is another entrance exam test. It's the last of all the entrance exams I have to take. In total, I've applied to 4 different programs. Three are for Radiation Technology (xrays, mri, cat scans) and the fourth program which I am most interested in is Radiation Therapy. The therapy program didn't require an entrance exam, but the three other programs did. It will be all morning so I have to go to school late. :( I hate taking time off from work!

Lately, I've been having at least two servings of fruit a day and many servings of nuts. This seems to work for me at the moment. For example, for breakfast I had strawberries and a large apple. Throughout the morning, I snacked on about 1/2 cup of almonds. Lunch was a little bit of sliced almonds and string beans with a light sauce heated up, a salad, and an orange. After work, I made an instant sugar free vanilla pudding and had tea and a large apple. I even added some fiber to the pudding. I feel good.

I am super excited for yoga....and should probably get ready to go since the classes fill up so fast this time of year!

calories 1350. pretty healthy. 3 servings of almonds were included! whoa!

exercise: yoga no walking. 1.5 hours

total ex: 32 hours, 20 min :)

shadetree on 01/23/2008:
Good food choices today! Almost done with your entrance exams - YAY! Just one step closer to getting to your goals!

Have fun at yoga!


maria777 on 01/23/2008:
Looks like you got lots of healthy foods in today! YAY!


fritters on 01/23/2008:
Your choices were good - not your usual meals, but still good food. I hope your last entrance test goes well.


thinnsidenotout on 01/23/2008:
Thank YOu for welcoming me. As a new comer I was skeptical, but have found great support already.. It surely does help! Good Luck on your Entrance test...and sticking with your eating plan..


leeumom on 01/23/2008:
Great day on food. I need more fruit and vegtables. That inspires me. Going to the store tomorrow. Good luck on the your test. Sounds like you have alot of positive things going for yourself! Keep up the good work.


legcramps on 01/23/2008:
Great job on the exercise! You're kicking my butt!


CritterMom on 01/24/2008:
I love almonds! I get the plain ones (hubby likes the smokehouse style, but those are so salty). Good luck on the exam!


dearerdiarist on 01/24/2008:
Re: The Edit: Amazing :)



horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jan 22, 2008

Weight: 0.0

calories: 1,000. whatever. I'm not eating anymore tonight. It was a busy day, 15 min walk on the treadmill in the AM. that's about it. I did some volunteer work at the hospital, too.

exercise: 15 min.

cal: 1000

total exercise: 30hrs, 50min.

mylifechanges on 01/22/2008:
hi HoPs! I'm sorry that it's been ages since you've seen my face around your comment section. I just spent the last half an hour catching up with everything in your life. I'm excited for you that you're out there dating! Keep us updated on all of that. :)

Thanks for your comments on my site. It's been so terribly hard to get back in the groove of things (I don't know what's with me!) so I can always use the encouragement, as we all can!!


workingit2 on 01/23/2008:
Take good care of yourself!


hollybelle on 01/23/2008:
Just saying Hi.....



horn_of_plenty - Monday Jan 21, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Tuesday afternoon entry: Calories are good today. No yoga because I have to volunteer this afternoon. 800 cal so far. I will go to 1200 today and I am very content about that. When combined with yesterday, my average for these two days is 2025. Another entry later and comments on your diaries tonight...

______________________________________________

Monday entry:

ahhhh! I did binge again after lunch today! So, the whole day is shot. Tomorrow isn't but today is.

I will make myself go to yoga again tonight even though I will probably be very full there.

total cal: 2850. sad, because my goal is to lose weight and I gave in to temptation. partly bc i was lonely...that's mostly the reason. It could have been a lot worse and if I eat low (1200 - even though I know its not a great idea to do after a high cal day) I can balance today out with tomorrow. I want to do that so the rest of the week can be focussed back towards weightloss.

i did a lot of sitting, but I went to yoga twice. also a 20 min walk.

total exercise: 3hr, 20 min.

jan exercise: 30 hours, 35 min. yay for a good total.

iamzen on 01/21/2008:
finish out today as best as you can, and tomorrow is a brand new day! thanks for your advice, now take your own. good luck!


geevee on 01/21/2008:
By evening you ought to not feel so full. If you can't blot food out of your mind, enjoy the hunger, because eating only makes yoga impossible.


dearerdiarist on 01/21/2008:
Rats! I hate when that happens. Tomorrow begins anew so be kind to self in the meantime. I will check on you then :)


legcramps on 01/21/2008:
The whole day isn't shot, I mean, you're still planning on going to yoga, and you can just eat better from now on. Come on, think positively!!


shadetree on 01/21/2008:
Try to get to yoga!


cushy on 01/21/2008:
when you wake up tomorrow you will already have dieted for like 8 hours!! instant diet reinvigoration! I am travelling so my eating has been hard to control. makes me appreciate the days i have in my own environment when i can control things better. if you feel the need to overeat more than every once is a while, try to figure out the trigger. Have you let yourself get too hungry? does winter weather bum you out? are you not eating enough satisfying foods with flavor and carbs when you do eat? are you upset about something or stressed? see if you can see a pattern and then bust it!!!!


fritters on 01/21/2008:
Those darn binges - they get to us all. I wish I knew an answer, but I don't!


workingit2 on 01/21/2008:
Hang tough!!


leeumom on 01/22/2008:
I agree with cushy. Might it be what you are eating that adds the calories. You can eat alot of salad as long as you don't pour dressing all over it. We found that if you put the dressing on the side, dip your fork in dressing before the salad and you actually get the same taste as pouring it on top and leff calories. Good luck. and great workout.


mcwoo40 on 01/22/2008:
Hiya,with all that exercise you should'nt do much damage.As we've said before tomorrow is another day.Can't you read or something to get your mind off food,or just stay away from the food cupboards.You know how i was with binge eating,but i just go for a walk instead I hope it will last though,take care,Julie


TheMother on 01/22/2008:
We all have days where we go a little (or a lot) over our ideal caloric intake. But we're human and all we can do is try to do better at the next meal. Thanks for your comments on my diary. I appreciate them. I see you live in the northeast, too. Anywhere near NJ? Have a GREAT day! TM



horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jan 20, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Monday afternoon:

I guess I had a slight binge at lunch, totalling 1500 cal. If i didn't have the three cookies after, it would have only been 1200, which is better. Lunch did include some healthy things: FOUR servings of nuts haha, 2 whole grain english muffines, salmon, green beans...

so far, I have 1870 cal today. I want to go to another yoga class this evening and I would like to remain at 2200 cal total for the day. Even though I will not lose weight from today, it can count as maintenance as long as I eat no more than 2200 calories. :) I can do it!

______________________________________________________

Monday morning edit:

hello! I am off from work today, yay! I have a couple things to do, nothing too major. I may even go to yoga twice as tomorrow I have no plans to go because I'll be volunteering for two hours at a hospital after work. I just had a good breakfast: 2 microwaved (baked) small apples with cottage cheese on top and lots of pumpkin pie spice. I also had a large tea with milk. It's so easy to make baked apples in the microwave. Just make sure you remove most of the core before you cook them or they will explode and make a mess in your microwave!

Now that my dating is over with the guy I had been dating for a month, I am back to talking with a good friend of mine who lives in Florida. I may call him tonight since he called me last night (but he had drank so I question if he would have called me otherwise...). He's a very nice, smart guy, but I really don't know if he possesses the same types of feeling for me that I have for him.

I was supposed to go on a date tonight with someone else I met online but I'm not. I've decided he comes across as too busy and has too much of an "explosive" personality for me! haha. Yes, I can tell that from the little I've talked with him online! Also, I am not attracted at all to his photos. I KNOW this is not what makes a relationship, haha, but it matters.

Have a good day...time for me to comment! :)

_____________________________________________________

Sunday entry:

THANK YOU for your constructive comments on my entry regarding my family and the fighting lol. Everyone has apoligized which is good news. Well, not apoligized, but the situation has definitely blown over which is good.

i went out to dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called "Shish Kebab." Fabulous place. lots of food. worth it...especially the filet minon kebabs!!

total calories are around 2000-2200. That's ok. can't change it.

exercise: 2hrs

total: 27hrs, 15 min. :)

fritters on 01/20/2008:
Dinner sounds good. 2 hours exercise on a Sunday - go super woman!!!!


flower_power on 01/21/2008:
yeah i like to think we are very nice people :) ... i told ya i wouldnt end up sleepin i was awake all night it sucked so bad i was so tired the next day, glad to hear everythin is back to normal ... much love xoxo


fritters on 01/21/2008:
yOUR APPLES SOUND REALLY GOOD - I am going to try them! And - yeah - looks aren't everything - but they sure make a diffrence!!!!



horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jan 19, 2008

Weight: 0.0

Sunday AM edit:

Today is starting out as a very good day. While picking up the newspaper, I bought my dad his favorite cookies (a cookie coated with chocolate on the outside, jell in the inside as he has no weight problems and always enjoys a good cookie) at the store to kinda make up for some of the hostility that went on last night.

I didn't even eat before going to the store bc i didn't have much of an appetite! Then, I had some almonds, two small microwaved apples with pumpkin pie spice on them and about a 1/4 cup cottage cheese. i also had a large tea. calories so far: 365. Lunch will be after yoga - I know I need to replenish with carbs!! Maybe another apple will be included in that.

Have a good day everyone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saturday late edit: so i'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom in my underwear and the door is only an inch open. My sister tries to come in and i slam the door. I didn't hurt her, although it could have happened. I like my privacy, even when not totally naked in the bathroom.

She gets all angry bc i slammed the door in her face...but instead of letting me finish in the bathroom, she goes downstairs and tells my parents. My dad gets majorly angry with me so while i'm in the shower he starts to yell from outside the bathroom to me that I should let my sister in if I'm not totally naked! It becomes a yelling match basically between me and my dad while i'm in the shower.

I'm just angry bc my sister didn't come to me but rather took her 22yr old self down to my parents to rattle on me. Yes, i may have acted immaturely by slamming the door on her, but i always want my privacy and i believe she should know this from past experience. Why couldn't she ask if she could even come in. If you ask me, it was a misunderstanding between both my sister and myself. I do NOT see why parents were involved....and the conflict got bad. The only one that got "in trouble" by my parents was me. My dad said he'd put a lock on the treadmill and I cannot use it anymore. The end. I know I have complained about similiar issues with my sister here before. It seems she always goes to them when she has a problem with me. I always tell her that that is unaccptable. She continues. Is this because I am missing something important?

If anyone understands this situation or can put in into perspective for me, I'd love to gain some feedback even if you tell me what I did was wrong.

today could have been a complete disaster after getting home from visiting my grandmother but it turned out it wasn't.

i almost ate out of the 1500s lol.

Total cal: 1595. lol. I am proud for making the choice NOT to indulge.

exercise: 2hrs.

total exercise: 25hrs, 15min. pretty good.

monday: yoga, oil change, dinner date with someone new (but any initial attraction is not there...just going out for the fun/experience of it). I don't date a lot, so i view it as being IMPORTANT to just go on more dates rather than settle for a certain person right now.

There's someone that i don't have any dates with that i'm really interested in. he lives in my town...no, never met him since i didn't grow up here. talked to him a lot online...we'll see.

I decided to stop dating the guy i went on my 4th date with this past fri night. I didn't feel physically attracted to him enough to continue. he was kinda shocked i think...i think he was more attracted to me. but, i just couldn't go on without the attraction. i know its whats on the inside that counts...but isn't it the outside, too? that's my opinion.

workingit2 on 01/19/2008:
You are doing great! Keep the faith!


shadetree on 01/19/2008:
Good for you NOT indulging! You should be proud.


geevee on 01/19/2008:
I know just what you mean about physical attraction. In my experience, if it wasn't there in the first place, it never did develop. Why waste your time? I used to tell my mother that I'd rather stay home than go out with someone I didn't really enjoy being with. Hey! the online guy might work out like BTC's husband did.


starfish on 01/19/2008:
great job keeping those calories low! And yes I agree, what's inside is VERY important, but you need to be physically attracted too.


shadetree on 01/20/2008:
Sounds to me like your parents have spoiled your sister for a very long time. As far as I see it, the bathroom is a personal place, not one that should be shared - I don't care what one is doing in there. Someday it will come back to haunt your parents...My little sister (she's 16 years younger than me, so she was brought up like an only child, very spoiled) is 23 years old, living at home, dropped out of college after one semester, enrolled in the local community college, dropped out of there, got mad at my brothers because they wouldn't get her a job where they work (one is in Maryland, the other in South Carolina), she doesn't work, the whole world is out to get her, she knows what she wants to do in life but no one will let her....such a drama queen. My father and stepmother both are retiring this year, are selling their house and have already bought a new one about two hours away (where my stepmother's family is) and they are trying to push her out, but she won't leave. She is planning on moving to their new house with them...i just have to giggle about it, since I would tell them when she was way back in kindergarten that she was spoiled, and they would get mad and tell me they were allowed to spoil her, there was nothing wrong with it.....It's come back to haunt them now! And I'm sure that your parents will experience something similar....It's inevitable when you are still spoiling your 22 year old child...

Hope today is a better day. So nice to see you are out there dating 'just for the experience' - you never know when it will sneak up on you and bite you! :)


borntocry on 01/20/2008:
What to do about tattling siblings? I don't know... I have two younger brothers and one of them in particular was always telling tales on me. It was impossible to talk to him like an adult and my parents always took his side. So I don't know of any solution to that!

All I can do is sympathise with you. I am like you and believe that the bathroom is a private place! My husband always pisses me off by coming in while I'm brushing my teeth. I also hate it when he tries to talk to me from outside the bathroom. I mean, that should be the one place on earth where one can be by oneself!

Thanks for your comment. Of course, I normally wear athletic pants while running but then I have to carry a change of clothes in my backpack because I can't go back to work in athletic clothes!

So, do you think I underestimated my calories the day before? I was kind of worried about that. I estimated 500 calories for the bread pudding, 500 for two slices of pizza, 150 for a slice of bread, 70 for a small spoon of peanut butter and 150 for a few bites of ice-cream. What do you think?


geevee on 01/20/2008:
As a parent I stayed away from all the squabbles between my children. I'd tell them to kill each other and leave me out of it. I didn't want to get involved.

As for the bathroom and privacy, when we moved in our house I made it perfectly clear that NO ONE was allowed in MY bathroom, and no one ever dared to enter it. Like you, I felt that this was my private place and didn't want to be bothered by the kids.

You will be so happy once you move out and get your own place, even if it's tiny. Not to have to contend with your sister will be such a relief.


maria777 on 01/20/2008:
I think it is fantastic you didn't let the stress cause you to overshoot your calories for the day. Was was that about what you wrote concerning your visit with your Grandmother? Ignore if you'd rather not say.


workingit2 on 01/20/2008:
That is cool that you bought your dad a cookie! I love my sister dearly, as I am sure you love yours. But she and I could never live together because we have the same kind of relationship. I am more able to be on my own, keep to myself and require little in return from life other than respect and time to lear to trust others. My sister needs attention. She isn't overt about needing the attention, and she pretends to NOT need attention, but she loves to be the center of attention especially where my parents are concerned. Believe it or not, parents know their children..and your parents know that your sister is the way she is, and they know you are the way you are. I had a big conversation with my mother once because my sister pissed me off so badly..and my mom knew exactly what I was talking about. I think that my sister being the way she is and me being the way I am, we balance each other out. I decided that I could either get pissed off at her and try to force her to change who she is, or I could just learn to ignore those parts about her that annoy me so that I can preserve our relationship and live in harmony and enjoy what little time we all have in life. It stings sometimes when she is acting a fool..but the more I forgive her, the more she can forgive me for my faults that annoy her. I find that I actually relate to her better, now that I have decided to accept that she is who she is and she isn't being that way to 'get' me...she is just that way. And I didn't talk to her about doing this, I just did it. To preserve my own sanity and keep the peace.

You did very well in not stuffing your hurt feelings and anger! Congratulations!!!


shadetree on 01/20/2008:
Phoenix has some good comments on her diary for you:)


iamzen on 01/20/2008:
hey girl, i know exactly what your goin thru with your sister. my sis and i are close, but not without some SERIOUS issues that we still have. some are small, some are big. my only constructive criticism would be to speak calmly. yelling never gets anything solved. i come from a family of yellers and to this day i cringe when i hear someone raise their voice. the second someone raises their voice, the ears turn off (figuritively speaking of course). when insults are thrown, or names are called...the ears go off. my best adive would to be speak calmly and slowly and take deep breaths. not only will you calm yourself down, you'll calm them down. you speaking clearly and normally will let them know that you obviously care about the situation and are willing to listen to them.

good luck!!!


crategrl on 01/20/2008:
great job with the exercise and eating!



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