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horn_of_plenty - Friday May 01, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0


i started off on the wrong foot, setting my alarm clock to wake me up at 5:50pm instead of AM. but at least i was up with more than enough time to get ready, even though i did get up late. i didn't have breakfast, just taking some low carb wraps with me to eat in the car on the way. actually, they worked well to satisfy me throughout the morning. my anxiety calmed my hunger today. we had a quiz that i studdied for about 30 minutes for last night and 45 minutes this morning once i got to school. i somehow got one wrong only and got the bonus, so i gut a 100. quiz was in the afternoon, so i was full of anxiety all morning...and i'm even more anxious i believe bc i'm going to see a band concert tonight, and i'm specifically going to see a past student i used to give private lessons on the french horn to. she's a sophmore in college, a college band concert.

this whole day i've been FULL of negative emotions. to the point of thinking, once again, what it would be like to not be alive anymore. basically, i said to myself "i'll use up all my money, enjoy the summer, and then we'll see what i feel like doing."  i'm not actually going to kill myself, please, don't worry about that. but my emotions are quite destructive at the moment. i have a classmate who continuously tells me "you're the scum of the earth, better just drop out of the program, etc..."  today he called me "pudgy" and even texted it to me on my phone! and this guy is going to be 30 this year. the people in my class piss me off, their behavior to the teachers and lack of maturity. what ass****s. i have the "priveledge" of going to school with a lot of not so intelligent people. they continuously try to put each other down, during class, in front of teachers. they talk back to each other and think they're alll SO smart. now, there are NINE people in my class, that's it!  and about, eh, 4 of them are not enjoyable to be around. the other 4 or so are fine. i don't hate the world. i am once again having a hard time. this was the first week back from vacation.

breakfast: 220

snack: 150

late lunch after quiz: 250

snack: 170

late snack, "dinner" of nature valley granola bar packet: 180.

total so far: 970

late coffee after concert and maybe a snack of some kind: 

feeling good about myself: not in the least.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nenak on 05/02/2009:
sounds like your having a tuffy at the moment. but there is light at he end of every dark tunnel just got to keep looking for it!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 30, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: 320 oatmeal, egg whites (i mix them together and add cinnamon after)  yogurt on top

snack: 290 dried cranberries, almonds

lunch: 500 banana, plain low carb wrap, sandwich of avocado/canned salmon on a wrap

snack: 220 two yogurts, diet coke

1330 before dinner.

dinner: 600

total around 2000 today. ok.

exercise: jogging or walking at park...we'll see how i feel when i get there...

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nenak on 05/01/2009:
sounds good so far!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 29, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

so tired today. didn't sleep well again...really restless, especially afer being on the phone with this new guy, sorta new, anyway.  woke up at 3am...arg.

breakfast: too big 450

snack 1 : 140

snack 2: 290

lunch: 460

snack: dumb 3 yogurts 330  (started to binge and i'm stopping NOW!)

total before dinner: 1670 :( not very good actually.

dinner: pizza, lettuce i think.  i made a canned salmon-avocado wrap: 270, and an avocado salad w. lettuce: 180 or so. total here: 450

total food (and i'm bingy as ever!): 2120

exercise: probably the park...

not a great day. school sucked because it was royally boring and i am a bit sick of some of my classmates. they like to make jokes about one another but they tend to be humiliating or negative, even though its a joke. its what friends do...but i also realize since the majority (6 out of 9) students are male, that is just what guys do.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

MoodyMe on 04/29/2009:
Oh wow I had no idea you had so many guys in your class~what are you going for again??

I hate those nights where sleep just won't come..or stay..whutever...hope you get some much needed rest tonight~

selina on 04/30/2009:
Hang in there, HoP! Hugs to you!

nenak on 04/30/2009:
keep focused youll get there in the end!

grumpy on 04/30/2009:
guys are dumb, baby. but they're cute too. dont pay attention to what they say hahaha. and GOOD JOB on stop yourself from binging and get in control at dinner. go to bed now. haha

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 28, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm almost too tired for the gym!!!!! :(  but i have to go or i'll eat.

pretty healthy eating today, aside from maybe too much salt.

1200 cal up till dinner.


so tired after school today. i sorta slept well, but was tossing and turning a bit.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/28/2009:
I know, today is a little low (but not as low as when you looked and i will have a healthy dinner now). i just needed a good kickstart! xo

MoodyMe on 04/28/2009:
Thanks for the advice regarding me going to the beach this summer~I really appreciate it!

How cool of you to go to the gym even tho your are exhausted...WTG!

nimony on 04/28/2009:
Good job deciding you have to go to the gym! Redirection, distraction, etc., it's all good for keeping us out of the kitchen! Hope school and life in general are going well for you. Have a great night!

selina on 04/29/2009:
sounds like you are doing great! WTG!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

back to school...........

breakfast: banana, oatmeal, egg mix: 350 good!

snack: almonds, cranberries: 290 fine....chips later on 140

lunch: DD flatbread and chips: 440 i think..  went out for someone's bday at school....large fries, and a really good chicken sandwich w. mozzerella, grilled peppers, etc. haha. but it was just what the dr. prescribed!!!!!  so, i don't know how much....but i'm guessing around 1100 at least....probably more, but no need to make myself all worked up....i forgot the ice cream cake!!!! ahhh, at least 500 more. 1600

snack: diet soda!

dinner: the DD flatbread sandwich i bought in the AM 290, also some healthy drink mix packets to fill me up more 50  total is good: 340

total: 2720...i will not let myself eat anything more.....there is NO need!  but, let me tell you, it's gonna be difficult.


doing well. :)  (feeling well)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Fattie2hottie on 04/27/2009:
Thanks for the comment you left on my diary! Sounds like a great day. I hope I can do as well. :)

hollybelle on 04/27/2009:
Woo hoo dear! YAY for HOP! You are inspiring me for my trip to Montana in Jnne with all that walking! We hope to hike a bunch when there. Can't wait - first vacation in about 3 years.

thinnside40 on 04/27/2009:
I like to see the "doing well.:)" and "(feeling well)"....... Good Job!

Umpqua on 04/27/2009:
I'm glad things are going well for you right now!

WI_HashiHypo on 04/27/2009:
I've been meaning to try those flatbread sandwiches, I think I might do that on Friday. Hang in there gurl!

MoodyMe on 04/27/2009:
Glad that your are feeling well!!

Are you going to school during the summer also? How much longer until you are finished? Just curious!!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: yellow raisin, oatmeal, egg mixture was good.

snack: fiber one bar.

lunch: dunkin donuts, 2 cookies, drink: 550 nice.

total before dinner: 1180

dinner: pizza w. avocado, salad.  not filling, ate too fast, wanted something more which is not good. going out for a bike ride soon....660 or so.

1840...not satisfied at all after dinner....

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/26/2009:
hahaha your facebook chica is here! that was funny. girl, you said i was doing great, but whenever i dont finish posting my menu it's bad news... oops.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm guessing around 2200 cals today. i'm happy with that.

exercise: i walked at least 7 miles today! and then i biked for at least 20 minutes later on! such a GREAT day. i hadn't done that walk in awhile and I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and also doing some extra that is not ordinarily part of the trail. :) so happy.  i hope you all had nice weather and enjoyed it too!

breakfast: mix of oatmeal 150, finished some old protein powder (i have lots of it laying around) 80, egg whites 60, and i added a banana bc i love them and they were in my house 100. total: 390.  :)

snack: almonds 160, some tasty canned fruit in my house that i bought at least a year ago lol. trying to eat up everything before i buy more. total 280 good.

lunch: maybe some diet drink and a fiber one bar... 150

snack: diet drink....and nature's valley granola bars 180....later on a drink....100

total so far before dinner: 1100. fine. 

.... maybe i can order sushi/seafood for dinner instead of the prepared dish they do for you...with all that butter. but, maybe i should just go and enjoy...yes, i don't plan on doing anything drastically different for dinner than everyone else! no need. i am trying to learn to live my life as relaxed as i can...and that includes not stressing over orderring dinner...

dinner: is out tonight for my friend's bday....benihana type of place (japanese bbq where they cook it up right in front of you)....lots of food. but i'm looking foward to it.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hi HoP, enjoy your dinner, Japanese is my favorite cuisine! Yummm! Good job on the walking!

Maria7 on 04/25/2009:
5 or 6 miles???? WOW-O!!!! And I am trying to talk myself into doing 1/2 mile on the treadmill!

nimony on 04/26/2009:
EXCELLENT!!! Great job on all the exercise and sticking with your plan. You really are doing a fantastic job and you're such an inspiration to me. Thank you!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

1610 total cal :)

IGNORANCE is NOT bliss!  I am saddened by all the hate in the world and people who think they are better than everyone else. We are all equal and let us live together in peace and harmony.

breakfast was great: oatmeal/egg mix and yogurt spread on top after: 350

snack: yellow raisins/almonds: 290.

lunch/snack: fiber one bar: 150

snack: protein "builder's" bar all natural: 270 (lots of diet drinks today)

total so far: 1060. today will be much lower than what i've been having per day this week. that's a good thing....

dinner: i think a dunkin donuts egg white sandwich, some vegetable drink powder things... (they're called red lightning if your're interested. it's the only one i like of the "lightning/nature's plus" powders that i've tried.  very healthy at about 22 calories per package. good source of veg/fruit vitamins...

exercise yesterday was fantastic. today, i will go to the park as well.  right now i'm just leaving some posts to you guys, ironing my white scrubs for school next week, did some reading....and just enjoying these next 3 days before school starts again. :)  It was a good break.

The weirdness: so that guy, who texted to say he would call did NOT. so i'm done with him. He had 2 chances to get in touch. that is kinda rude so i'm past it. which is ok, bc i'm not very into dating right now since i'm more focussed on school...and now fitness. :) and getting a job....

BUT, the florida guy texted me again. (i ignored his texts earlier this week bc i've been kinda upset with him). but i didn't text him back much and he decided to actually CALL me. we spoke for around 45 minutes. and it was pretty late, maybe around 10 when he called.  ehhh, not sure what to think of his call. I won't be calling/texting him though. I have learned to control myself....so that i will NOT end up being upset at my own actions with him.  If he wants to contact me, he can. but i'm not going around chasing him.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
im glad you are taking care of you! thats all we can ever ultimately do, right? have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the process. xoxo

Umpqua on 04/24/2009:
Sounds like you've had a great week off! It's difficult not to get upset by other people's attitudes in this world, but you have the right idea. If everyone focused on love, patience and tolerance the world would be a much better place. So that's what I try to do anyway. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
i love your quote below, ps. xoxo

ricearoni on 04/24/2009:
Life can get lonely sometimes but if we don't love, respect and take care of ourselves, we will never find anyone else too. Putting yourself first now is a great idea. Keep up your good work.

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hey HoP, glad you had a good day!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

accept people for their differences. nobody is better than the next person.  

breakfast: cereal: oatmeal 150, with egg whites 60, cinnamon, and raisins 130...topped after with yogurt 110: 450. was tasty.

snack: nuts, drink 260

Lunch: too big again. but whatever. 3 pieces matzah 370, microwave meal 350, 2 yogurts 200 total here: 920 wowsers....and roasted chestbuts 110 total 1030.

total so far: 1740...total cal around 2200 today...

snack: diet coke.

dinner:  300 in stuff. not in the mood to type it out...

total: about 2040! wonderful day. i hope you all did well too....

will be on the phone with that boy tonight.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/23/2009:
I like "snack: maybe". My menus from now on will be: Lunch: Yes, please. HAHAHAHAHA

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

woke up a little earlier compared to the last few days. that's ok. it was still later than when i'm in school!  plans today include lots of exercise. and also filling out a workbook for school that needs to be done. also, i know i'll be having an anatomy test the friday i get back to school. i think a may study a VERY LITTLE bit, but every day, so that the info really sticks and i do well on the test without being overwhelmed with studying when i get back...  i only plan on doing work during the morning. then, the day is mine!

breakfast: egg white/oatmeal mix 210, 2 yogurts 200, 2 chocolates. 50  total: 460.

snack: almonds followed by dates...around 300. eh.

lunch: lean cuisine flatbread atop with some egg whites i think would be good. celery on the side. 440

12:30pm snack: lunch was followed by some sorta unfortunate snacking of 620 cal of junk.

total so far: 1820. I'm planning on eating in the 2200s today. nothing lower.


its rainy, but that will not get me down. how can you be down on vacation??? i'm loving it. weird, but the guy never called last night. i had the same situation with another guy last week. but, i had a really long online convo with this guy so i'm not sure why he would say he would call but then didn't. whatever, i'm not mad at all or concerned. i'm not looking to go crazy dating right now. AT ALL.  i'm in school and feel that until i graduate, in a bit over a year, i just go with the flow. dating is not a priority at all.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/22/2009:
I agree with you. But now i have to tackle the weight loss. so who is this new guy who didnt call? I need an update since i've been away. guys dont call at times. weirdos.

loveray on 04/22/2009:
im so glad you are having a nice time-off. enjoy yourself! boys are retarded...dont let him mess up your good streak! egg whites and flat bread sounds yum. love you!

uni4sept2008 on 04/22/2009:
Its good to hear you are enjoying your vacation. And good plan on the little bit of studying! Lets the stress not build.

starfish on 04/22/2009:
Hi there :-) Great day! Thanks for the encouragement!

hollybelle on 04/22/2009:
Glad to hear a good note in your post. YAY! As for guys....things haven't changed so much since I lated dated, I guess. I don't get it why do they say they will call and then not? Do they think the phrase "I'll call you" is just an expression? Evidently they don't mean it literally! LOL! Or maybe they don't know any other parting words to fill the void? Who knows? They are strange and wonderful (some of them anyway) creatures!

Maria7 on 04/22/2009:
Re: My asking Christians to pray versus asking everyone to pray...the reason is cause I only have faith in prayers being answered going the route of Jesus...cause He is the only One that can save, heal, and do anything else. All other religions other than Christianity are false. So I have faith in prayers of people who believe in Him and do their best to live for Him (which they do if they believe in Him). People who believe in and live for Jesus are Christians. Hope this helps you understand. :-)

Umpqua on 04/22/2009:
I'm glad you're having a nice vacation. I have a few friends who have online dating experience and it seems like a lot of the guys have no trouble communicating online but when it comes to actually speaking on the phone and meeting in person they are lacking in basic communication skills. Ah, the digital age ;) My friends have met some very nice guys this way though, so if you can wade through the mediocrity you may meet a good one eventually!

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