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horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

was up alll night last night. so today was rough. but i got through it well in the end. i went to the park. my ankle hurt but i still walked 3 miles. i had to stay on the grass and not the concrete so that there was some more cushioning in my step!

calories during the day:

260 breakfast

370 snacks

750 lunch: subway sandwich and chips. i needed this to keep me sane!

snack: horrible choice: sugar free energy drink. made me sick during my walk to the point of being really shakey because i didn't have food first. will NOT do this again! 25

dinner: lots veggies/dressing 175 and microwavable eggplant rollettes 350 total: 525 good!

total: around 1930. good.

3 mi walk.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 03/25/2009:
Ewwwwwwwy ~ I cannot drink those S.F. energy drinks either... Jittery,naseuated,listless,etc...

Looks like all is going well today with the # counts....Great Job!

Re: Fiber One bars ~ The berry/nut are really good, but my fav is the mocha... I'm not a mocha drinker, but those are GOOD!

Have a good evening.... I've got to get back to routine in EVERYTHING that deals with my goal reaching... Almost done with the "spring clean" and then I think I'll be better settled to "getter done" once and for all time....

nimony on 03/25/2009:
Great job on counting all the calories, even the Subway sandwich and chips. Nothing wrong with that for a choice once in awhile, esp. when you compensate with lower calorie foods during the day, which you did. And you got 3 miles of walking in. Great job!

nenak on 03/26/2009:
good day after a not so good night. keep up the good work!

legcramps on 03/26/2009:
Yeah, I can't handle energy drinks either. To be honest, I probably shouldn't even be drinking coffee - I get seriously jittery on caffiene! Have a good one today.

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

wed 2:34am edit: can't sleep! ahhhh. guy troubles, again. haha. i need to totally distance myself from this guy. reason being, he cannot open up. at all. he can't even say: "we're just friends." i would totally prefer that over him not really saying anything. ugh! so frustrating.

i am enjoying going straight from school in my scrubs to walk at the park. i don't have to stop at home and that makes it 100% easier not to give up on exercise even for a day. it works like a charm. i stop somewhere for a snack, eat it on the way to the park, and go walking. so far so good. i don't even miss the gym right now. i still belong to one but i always prefer the outdoors. soon i'll start biking. although, when allergy season starts, i may have to revamp my plans...

love to you all.



breakfast: 260 green beans, almonds, oil. love this breakfast. it's not balanced, but it is filling and the oil has made my skin 100% better.

snack: 320 almonds, followed by two NASTY sugar free butter cookies 30

lunch: 260 green beans, almonds, diet mountain dew

snack: 310 nasty protein bar w.out fiber by accident, sugar free energy drink.

dinner: 300 whole avocado, cabbage mix 90, cherry tomatoes 20, tofu 180, dressing 50. total: 650.

total today: 1830. hmm. ok. 1am snack of bran and milk (was hungry and couldn't sleep) so 1950 or so. still fine.

exercise: 4.5 miles.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/24/2009:
Looks like you did real well! YAYYYY!!! Cals AND exercise!!!

selina on 03/25/2009:
Hi HoP! I love your new walking plan, keep it up! My allergies already started but I am not going to allow it to stop me from my walks!!! Come to think of it, those horrible allergy shots in the fall that made me incredibly itchy for several days seem not to have worked at all! Have a good day!

loveray on 03/25/2009:
this was a great day!! good fats, fiber and nature!! love to you.

Maria7 on 03/25/2009:
Hope you're having a nice day today!!!

legcramps on 03/25/2009:
I can't wait until spring to go for walks too! Too bad I always have to drive to work though because I have to be home at lunchtime to let my dogs out. But still, it should be easy enough to drop my car off at home and set out for a walk! It's snowing today though, so it's gonna be a while for me!

Have a great day!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: healthy 260

snack 1: almonds 160

snack two: dannon yogurt 140, tea w. milk 40 or so.

lunch: green beans.almonds, oil 260

snack: taco bell bean burrito, monster low carb energy drink: approx. 420 :) was good.

dinner: avocado 300, 2 peppers 60, cole slaw mix 25, tomato 20, dressing 25, tofu 90. followed by a bit much on the grapes. but healthy!....250. total: 770.

total: 2050. a bit high. but not too high. :) what can i do? it's better than a binge. right now i'm just trying to be healthy. i know i'll be upset come the wedding in a month...with how i feel, but i'd rather just have a sorta healthy day than trying to eat too little and then binging. my focus now is to always have exercise in my day!

by the end of the summer, my goal is to be able to walk AT LEAST 12 MILES AT A TIME!



exercise: 3 mi at the park was nice!

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/23/2009:
((hugs)) I can so relate. I'm eating a lot more too, to avoid bingeing. It dawned on me today just how much I'm eating, yet I seem to be hungry most of the time. When I feel "munchie" I reach for carrots. So it's not like I'm reaching for chocolate bars. But sheesh, that's a lot of food. It bothers me. I don't know if it bothers you, but maybe we shouldn't think about it too much.

I think exercise goals are the way to go anyway. I think you're doing great. I know the stress is a lot to carry around with you. Please know that I really look forward to your diary entries. :-)

Maria7 on 03/24/2009:
Hope you're having a nice day!

legcramps on 03/24/2009:
Great job! I think this entry is very positive and healthy and it's nice to see that you're focusing more on exercise than dieting. I hope you have a wonderful week!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Mar 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

3.5 mile walk. was nice.

adding more healthy fats/oils to my diet has definitely improved my skin. if any of you have acne problems, try it. olive oil on your salads, almonds. it will help. and i've been drinking more water as well. those two things really do help.

breakfast: bran/milk: 110

snack: pretzels (yeah, weird) was before my walk and it did give me energy. 220

snack: protein bar 230 (i've been starting to eat too much processed foods again)

large snacks over a period of time: almonds 160, grilled veggies w. olive oil (an entire quart size of them):

hahaha, had 6 large cookies and ice cream with grandma. but the day doesn't end terribly bad.  i'll have about 2250-2300. tomorrow will be a little lower if these go as planned and i also intend on some healthy exercise tomorrow and the rest of the week for that matter! :)

dinner:egg white/spinach omelette. cucumber w. dressing? around 200 or so.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 03/22/2009:
i hope you had a great weekend. looking forward to chatting with you soon!! love love

starfish on 03/22/2009:
looks like you are having a great day :-) I totally agree with you about the healthy oils and water.

Umpqua on 03/22/2009:
I know it is so hard to avoid those processed foods. Looks like you're doing a great job. And healthy fats with plenty of natural oils really is the way to go. Took me a long time to figure that out, but in my opinion if you go for smaller portions of the good fats it will fill you up and keep you much more satisfied than a lot of the "diet" foods that aren't at all substantial.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 21, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'll be kind to myself and guestimate that my calories are 2200. if they are over, it was ALL healthy stuff at dinner. even though it was a lot of food (buffet, tons of seaweed salads and other awesome japanese foods). had a good time with friends.

breakfast : 450 (tofu, beans, almonds, olive oil) too big a portion...could have had half.

snack: 50  drink supplement stuff

late morning snack: 320 (more beans, almonds, oil) again, too many portions....and i had some extra almonds 160.

granola bars: 180 during my 6 MILE WALK! first time this spring! :) It was soooo wonderful. along the water.

protein bar: 230

total so far: 1390.

dinner: out for dinner but I should be able to control calories to 2200 without a problem...i will choose healthy items at a sushi buffet place. lots of fish and veggie salads, etc! :) should be fun. NO DESSERT except coffee.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/21/2009:
OK, I'm just throwing this out there, but I would think that working 2 days a week for school would actually be helpful because it would add some structure and organization to your summer weeks. Yes? No? I'm just saying, because I always do better when I have at least a little structure to my time. It's when I'm open and empty and bored or restless that I start having problems.

Plus I'm confused. You say you'd be working clinicals but you would have class and tests. Yet later on you say that you're going to be worrying about having tests. So??? Which one is it?

I notice that whenever you have some conflict, whether you allow yourself a day off to study or they change the schedule on you or what, that seems to lead to a huge binge. Do you notice this too?

I see 2 ways to handle this: Accept it for now, as a way to cope with stress, knowing that things will be different once school is over. OR decide to deal with it now and get some help, because the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to tackle later on. Especially if you keep using food as a way to cope with conflict, anger, and other unpleasant emotions.

Maria7 on 03/21/2009:
Is there a dietician at your school that you could seek counsel with about the binges? Just a suggestion cause one time a dietician was helpful in counseling me.

Maria7 on 03/21/2009:
ps...6 mile walk...WOW!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 20, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

today was full of temptations. then, after school, i had a TON of fast food. like, 3 different items at each of these places: burger king, dunkin donuts, and mcdonalds. i had multiple items from each place.  i am no longer being strict obviously with low carb. 

yeah, i have an emotional eating habit that i'm having huge difficult defeating.

my teachers want to have only 1 month in the summer without classes (meaning, only clinical) instead of both july and august. that's not cool with me. i NEED those two months. they will help  me get fully back on track (or at least i think one month would be better than two). although we wouldn't have class and tests, we'd be responsible to show up each day and "work" in the hospital like we do now on tuesdays and thursdays. i was kinda looking foward to the two  months because a lot of my friends are teachers and i wouldn't have to worry about when i was going out or having tests. i was looking foward to having a good summer! since my class is the last class before the school closes, the teachers are thinking of teaching things around.

5,000 cal today?

3.5 miles walking, after my binging, at the park. i look pretty gross right now. at least 140 if not more.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/20/2009:
Sounds like you're under a lot of stress. Hope you get to feeling better.

loveray on 03/21/2009:
i love you- remember how amazing you are- your spirit soars. happy weekend!

nimony on 03/21/2009:
One step at a time. Take one small area you want to work on, and start working on it. Seems like walking 3/3.5 miles is working for you. Maybe a goal can be to walk 1 more day a week, hence making exercise a new, lifelong habit. Someone suggested meditation. That's a very good idea. Helps keep us calm. I am in a similar situation as you, so I understand what you're going through. Be patient with yourself. Try to give yourself some down time each day, even if it's only a couple of minutes, time to think, reflect, and relax.

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 19, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

350 breakfast (green beans, oil, almonds, tofu)

320 nuts snacks

310 lunch (beans, almonds, tofu, diet sprite) maybe i'm getting sick of beans and that's why i'm binging...nah, i think it's because i'm nearing that time of the month...and i've been frustrated more than usual with school lately.

snacking/overeating: apple chips 80, soy chips 200, cabbage slaw stuff w. seasoning/dressing 200??, broccoli rob with some nuts/cranberries olive oil 250?, sauteed veggies 250?, tofu 200, cream cheese ew 80, american cheese sandwich 570 or so, cookies 450...chips 280..yogurt w. extra jelly 260, oatmeal 150...bread w. butter and jelly 500, grapes 100, choc. covered raisins 450. done.  shoot 4100 or so.

total: 5100 or so. ewwww....followed by: 

taco bell supreme nachos...oatmeal cookie from dunkin donuts...and a baskin robbins huge shake w. whipped cream. i'm stuffed.

calories: around 6500. whatever.

i am doing ok despite all the food i ate.

i'm going to get through it all.


Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

legcramps on 03/19/2009:
Does the organization where you take yoga also have meditation classes, or are you doing this already? I just wondered because it sounds like you're going through a lot right now and I really believe meditation helps to relax our minds! Good luck to you - hope things are getting better.

poker_paid on 03/19/2009:
Dunkin Donuts is delicious but I can't find their nurition info - the best I got was this "If you have any immediate Nutrition questions, please contact us at 800-859-5339"

We have the same taste in food - supreme nachos are so tasty! You WILL definitely get through it all.

selina on 03/20/2009:
Stay well, Hop! Hugs to you!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 18, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

930 cal up to 4pm...

snack 190 bar

large dinner: sauteed mushrooms 80?, broccoli cauteed with red pepper/garlic 150?, sauteed greens uh 300?? tofu 200.

3 mi walk.  felt better today after taking yesterday off!

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/18/2009:
I kind of thought you might binge yesterday when you were talking about how guilty you felt for taking a day off. I figured you would "punish" yourself.

Maria7 on 03/18/2009:
Glad you were able to get some rest. Cals look FANTASTIC today!!! smile!

loveray on 03/18/2009:
looks awesome- glad you had a lot of veggies! xoxo

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 17, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

calories for today are, grand total: 7,000.  any progress i made in the last 2-3 weeks has been destroyed. back to square one. this is what i do...being a student has seriously destroyed me. the whole study thing really gets to me. yeah, that's an excuse which is a horrible one at that. look at all those med students, they study and do well and look great. yeah, gotta get my act together sooner rather than later. wait, it already is late!!! eh.  i guess i won't look how i wanted to for this wedding. oh well. it's a month away now.  i will keep exercising and everything of course.


went out for coffee with friends around 7pm last night and got back around 10pm. was exhausted and fell asleep trying to study.  woke up around 4am bc my mind knew i should study lol and started, got hungry....had some food. fell back asleep. not going in today. taking a sick day to study. again. this will be my 3rd day off since September. But, i've already made one up by coming in during a vacation. I still feel guilty...and we should, for skipping out of school or work. but now i can study and get sleep. haha.

but i am happy i went out and had a good time rather than study. life is too short for me to always be so serious. i've already taken that approach in life. so now i have fun sometimes even when it's not the best choice. we have a test today, but i'll take it tomorrow. we have tests everyday except thursday this week, which is pretty normal in my program. so nobody could say "oh, you took off bc you didn't want to take the test" lol. bc we ALWAYS have tests.

4am breakfast: cream cheese and rye bread sandwich: 320, oatmeal w. apple butter and banana and milk: 350.  yea, not low carb stuff. total: 670.

having some difficulty getting totally back to low carb...7am breakfast: tofu and green beans/almonds/oil: 480....crap: whole package milanos chocolate/raspberry: 975  , 20 sunkist jell candies 650, cookies 450, pizza 350, more sunkist 110. believe me, i'm not done.  3020 or soover here.

...cheese and cream cheese sandwich toasted and melted: 550, finished off the sunkist gems 500  total here: 1050...half a frozen and actually gross pound cake 450 or so. so, 1500 now.

total so far today: 5190. 

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

k_luh on 03/17/2009:
haha... you are so honest. "believe me, i'm not done" As for the feeling guilty thing... DON'T DO IT! I have spent my whole life being the perfectionist. Perfect grades, best at this, best at that, never missed work, never made a mistake.. it took me a long time to understand that I don't have to feel guilty about missing work. I don't have to feel guilty for not being perfect. You DO deserve it.. if you need "me time" or study time.. you deserve it. This is your life, and its the only one you have, you shouldn't have to spend the whole thing working and no fun... it should be fun with a little work. :).. lol. Thats my plan at least. jk... anyway, thanks for being so uplifting on my page, I appreciate it. This past weekend is the worst Ive had in a long time, and needed that positive energy from someone :).

grumpy on 03/17/2009:
You are very very brave and honest. I would have a hard time doing a count like that for myself and for others. And I can assure you pretty much everyone in this website had/has days like yours at times.

I am glad you went out and had fun too. As for the days off, arent you allowed your vacations days? And 3 times in 6 months is not bad at all, you should take more time off, even.

I am doing this cleanse. Ever tried one? I think it could work as a "shock treatment" to stop from bad habits and start off new and it did help me with cravings before. Just an idea. I know it's not for everyone. But you're young and healthy and maybe something like that could help you break the cycle.


CritterMom on 03/17/2009:
Try my diet (posted in my diary). It's low-glycemic, doctor-supervised...and it's working! No "cleansing" or shock treatment (other than giving up unhealthy foods).

Maria7 on 03/17/2009:
I'm so sorry you are going through this...but happy for you that you are persevering in your chosen profession by getting the schooling. Only thing I can think of is either tell yourself when you have these binges (like I know what to say about a food binge) that you can have them but the foods must be low-cal foods only...I know...doesn't usually work... or either, keep having the binges and putting on the weight while you are in school and then resolve that once you finish school, then you'll work on getting back to your goalweight??? It isn't easy to stay on track when you are under a lot of stress...BUT IT CAN BE DONE.

hollybelle on 03/18/2009:
Something you said above rang a bell with me- the wedding! I have had a special event that I wanted to look good for (i.e. lose some weight) and set that as a goal. Only to discover (after this happening about 100 times) that this is a TRIGGER for me. I need to eat as I usually do and just go and be myself. If I try to set a goal of losing weight for a special event - for some reason I sabatage myself EVERY time. Don't know if that rings any bells with you but thought I'd mention it. :o)

starfish on 03/18/2009:

loveray on 03/18/2009:
i hope that things are going better today and that you got some much needed rest. take care, relax and love your beautiful soul! xoxo

grumpy on 03/18/2009:
keep going on girl. you had plenty of great phases, so just go about it one day at a time. xoxo

horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 16, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

2060 cal before coffee w. a couple girls. 1.5 mile walk in my scrubs before coming straight home which was a VERY SMART idea. it relaxed me a bit.


class was DREADFUL today! boring.  it was just very repetitive and i think EVERY student, all 9 of us, would agree.  glad that's done.

i did NOT have breakfast, which totally set me up to fail...but i didn't totally fail.

snack: nuts...3 cups tea, diet sprite, water....

lunch: green beans/almonds,  soy chips, yogurt, irish soda bread (cake!)

total here 1150...

snack: snicker's protein bar 210

veggies/dressing: 100

dinner: tofu, greens, olive oil (many, many servings) 600 at least. i am in a pretty bad mood after today.

going to meet people for coffee. i won't give in to treats. gotta stay on track.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/16/2009:
It is harder to resist overeating when I am with a group of people...somehow, I just seem to think everything is calorie-free, according to how I do. We are having a ladies' supper at our church soon and today, even though it is NOT on the agenda, I spent money buying foods to make a very large tray of fresh raw veggies...cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, celery, cucumber... then when I shared this information with a friend, who also plans to go, I was told that I should include a DIP, like salad dressing or something to dip the veggies in to eat them!!! What's the use of that??? We usually have (but not always) VERY HIGH-FAT FOODS that we ladies are SOOO GOOD at making at the monthly supper. AND I USUALLY BINGE OFF THEM, THEY ARE SOOOO GOOD!!! We all have a WONDERFUL time at the supper but how is it going to help if I bring a large tray of raw veggies and add the temptation (to myself) to add LOTS of extra cals with dip or dressing??? I wasn't asked to bring this...it was my idea so I and others who are watching calories can have a low-cal nice choice of food at the supper.

loveray on 03/16/2009:
usually i steam or broil them! i love them. i changed my dinner because i am in a carby mood. i need to really start watching myself...argh! xoxo

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