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horn_of_plenty - Friday Jul 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

calories: approx. 1200 today. mostly healthy. lots of veggies.

total avg calories per day since I've been back home: 2,000 per day for the past 8 days. not great, for sure. not horrible. not enough to gain real weight, just bloat. possible weight gain of less than a pound. lots of rambling right now, lol. lots to do on the weight front, as well.... :)   i will make it happen! i will i will i will! :)  :)   :) 

with stretching at back/abs/pushups (and bike/elliptical) total exercise today was approx. 2.5 hours. wowzers. it felt SO GOOD. cardio prob lasted at least 1.5 hours.


yesterday i slept like 12 hours. and i'm STILL tired. sheesh. what's going on with me!? ....i'll be fine, i'm sure...

breakfast: my stomach was so full from whatever it was i ate last night around 10 when i woke up. so i had coffee and chocolate italian ices. 150 cal.

snack: bar and drink: 170 cal

lunch: around 280 cal. beans/hot veggies/salad.

total here: 600...



i'm sooo stupid for overeating the past few days bc weightloss took some determination while i was away. i ate right bc i wanted to. and it worked really well. i prob did lose at one point 5 lbs in just 10 days! and i've put a couple back on! careless on my part. so now i need to make MUCH bigger efforts. i promise myself continued success with my weightloss. it means watching calories. keeping them LOW. and walking/exercising much, much more.  i am now able to exercise for longer periods of time without a problem....especially walking. i can do it for 6 miles no problem as long as it's not only on concrete...

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

nenak on 07/24/2009:
you can exercise for longer so you are winning!!!!! stay positive

hollybelle on 07/24/2009:
I have been really tired the last few MONTHS! I think it is because I am eating too much sugar and carbs AND not exercising as much. Being tired alone is the incentive I need to do right by my body. I am job hunting right now as I want to go back to work FT - and I will NEED energy to do that.

MoodyMe on 07/24/2009:
EVERYONE I talk to is tired...seriously! The people I work with are all talking about not having any energy and being soooooo wiped out...weird.

Any fun plans for the weekend? Doing something you enjoy and can relax???

halley on 07/24/2009:
Sounds like you are getting your focus back. Don't you hate to see hard work wasted by being careless? You'll do fine.

thinnside40 on 07/24/2009:
Your not stupid.... Neither am I... I'm challenged... ;-)




h82bfat on 07/25/2009:
Don't beat yourself up over this. You are only human - no one is perfect, even super models have food issues!! :c) All you can do is work thru it and get back to it.

Are you keeping a food journal? It may help you figure out your triggers by questioning your choices as you're making them....... I think finding your "triggers" are your key to success - but hey, that's just an observation - I'm not a guru or anything & I don't claim to have the answers (I'm still searching myself). I just know that I had to figure out some of my triggers (notice I say "some" becus I've still got "some" to figure out) before I started making any significant progress.

Overall, you're doing a great job and should be pleased with yourself and how far you have come. If you must judge your success, try to look at how far you've come - not how far you "think" you have left to go.........

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jul 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

Thursday entry: 

HOW am i this exhasuted!?

my stomach was so full this AM, but i knew i needed some carbs at least to balance out the sugar high i had yesterday.  i had a chocolate flavored italian ice: 120 cal.

snack: kashi bar 150 or so. did have 7 grams protein...

lunch: 1/2 chicken cold cut sandwich, salad. 300 cal. and i feel like i could fall asleep right now! i think my binge wore out my body yesterday. 

the good thing is tomorrow is ONLY a half day! wahoo! so glad. the second half the day i will be attending the senior Xray class' graduation.

total cal so far: approx. 550

snack after school: almonds, soda: 250. i am SO TIRED...why do i feel this way!?

dinner: eaten at 10pm after i got up from a nap. what on earth!? some cucumber salad, lettuce, tofu; total here around 300 or a little less.

total calories: around 1200.  i am soooooo screwed up right now. my body is just fighting me in every way possible.


wednesday entry:

stayed home, ended up binging as well today. 

calories so far: 3450.  hopefully this estimate is right and i'm not underestimating...

calories i've overeaten since my return from the trip last friday:

friday: 500 too many

tuesday 600 too many

today so far: for the whole day, around 2000 or so too many.

total too many: 3100 or almost one pound, 

i need to stop this craziness. damn. AND, the last night of my trip i ate about 3500 calories too many also..

i am def not as thin as i was when i got home....it's amazing how fast i'm losing my momentum...

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

halley on 07/22/2009:
Ok - just take a deep breath. You can do this. Remember how great it felt when you noticed that you looked thinner? How wonderful it is to easily slip int something that had been too small? You can get your focus back.

Donkey on 07/23/2009:
How did your therapy appointment go?

grumpy on 07/23/2009:
I hear you about losing the momentum. I think that's when the mind takes control and we need to take care of it. That's what I am trying to work on with my life coach. I think the same would be with therapy and I think it's great you went. Because other than that, we both know well what we want, how to do it and we just choose to boycott ourselves! Let us know how it went! xo

hollybelle on 07/23/2009:
Picture a strong wind behind you BLOWING you ahead - maybe that will cause momentum....I'll picture it myself and see what happens....How was therapy? Did you like the therapist? I thnk just liking them is the biggest hurdle.

loveray on 07/23/2009:
i have been so exhausted this week as well. a lot of people around me have been drained...i think this may have a little bit to do with the solar eclipse. the energy is just a lot to take in and a lot of times the planetary events have a lot of effect on our energy levels. hope things get better soon! xoox

Donkey on 07/23/2009:
OK, ok, I get the hint. I won't ask you about therapy any more.

I think you (your body, that is) are still recovering from your vacation. That's part of the fatigue. If it's really humid by you, that could be another reason. Humidity wipes out any ounce of energy I might have. I'm guessing though it's mostly from the travel. PLUS, keep in mind that digestion takes a lot of body energy. When you consume a lot of food and then go to bed, your body needs to work very hard to digest all of that food instead of resting.

Travel, change of climate, eating too much ... maybe you're getting sick?

Rest up, I hope you feel better soon :-(

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jul 21, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

i bought real food today at the cafeteria for lunch...more real than coffee and chips, anyway!  but, i was famished bc i had no snack in the AM.

today was HARD. i was on my feet all day, but also had to wear a "lead apron." which is very heavy! it's to shield the workers from the xray equipment.   my ankles were in pain bc of the lead, making my whole body extra heavy on my ankles...arg.

breakfast: 350 or so. coffee, sandwich, tomatoes, avocado.

snack, but not really and not helpful: vitamin waters 50

lunch: not sure but i guess 550: nasty but tasty (just too much rice in it) veggie burger, cooked and seasoned corn, large salad.

snacking: not great but whatever, 2 plums 120, ices 100, 2 servings pretzels 200 total here 420

total before my binge: 1380

binge: pizza 800???, small piece quesadilla 100?, small piece burrito 200?, yogurt 100, plum 50.  approx: 1300

total today approx: 2680! blah....i'm so helpless....

no, actually, i was exhausted. i came home WIPED OUT. and i should have gone to sleep. ugh ugh ugh!


Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/21/2009:
What did the therapist have to say about the bingeing?

Were you at home when you binged? I can see it as sort of a "relief" or release: Now I am home, I can relax and eat. ??

Hang in there. That sucks about the lead apron. (I hope you are not offended by my language!) :-0

MoodyMe on 07/21/2009:
Yep, exhaustion is a MAJOR trigger for me as well...I agree with Donkey and it being a "relief"...Look at how GREAT you have done these past weeks...FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE!

I hope you got some much needed rest this evening..

Donkey on 07/21/2009:
Moody's comments made me think.

2680 is not too bad, especially for being tired and still recovering from your vacation. "Should have gone to sleep" -- yes, agreed. But easier said than done. Remember this for next time! In the months that I have known you (are we into years yet?), it seems to me that you let fatigue get the better of you, and you eat instead of rest. Remember: It's a learning process.

Still, I don't think you did nearly as much damage as you might think.

I remain hopeful that once you graduate and get a job in your field, that things will settle down.

halley on 07/22/2009:
Shake it off and start over. You will be fine. Try drinking hot tea to head off the binge.

horn_of_plenty - Monday Jul 20, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

if i had to guess calories, today was about 1750. hopefully no more!!!

exercise: moderate. 4 mi or so.

going to school tomorrow. first a shower.

goodnight all.


good report: my weight has been steadily decreasing since May! :) so happy.  last august my weight average was 123. hopefully i can at least get back to where i was?  it will be a close call since that means i  need to lose 12 lbs. but there is no rush, as long as i don't overeat and destroy the successes i make. i am doing this, the weight is coming off. all i need to do is look at my diary to see it.  :)  all i need to do is remind myself of this, whenever i feel weak at heart. :)

i'm taking today off from school to recover fully.  i have some laundry to put away, some white scrubs to iron, some nasty work shirts that i should spary with fabreeze bc even when i wash them they still don't smell right haha.  then, i plan on eating healthy - lots and lots of veggies with my meals and also i plan on preparing my own lunches for the rest of this week to come (or at least for tuesday bc this all sounds like way too much right now - the food preparation anyway).

i also have a therapist appt later today. first time i'd be going, in my adult life anyway. i did go a when i was about 6 or 7 yrs old. so i have NO expectations. it's my money and if it doesn't work, then i'll call it quits. however, i would love for the therapy to help me, especially with my binging as even on the trip i did it twice.

it's so hard to lose weight the second time!  for two years i WAS in a rut but this trip lifted me out of it. i'm so glad. now i am just keeping with that momentum! :)

take care. more updates to come...

now trying to go back to bed, i've been up since 5, now it's 5:24. eh, and i have an appetite. but i'm going back to bed!

6am breakfast: yogurt, strawberries, coffee: 160

9:30-10am breakfast ugh: 2 pcs bread 260, egg whites 60, tomatoes/salsa 40, 3 light yogurts 240 total: 600.

total before lunch: 760 fine.

2pm lunch:stomach full still? bothering me. but i pigged out on healthy stuff...not sure why i had to eat all of it though: two cups fruit salad: 200 or so, soy chips 160, tomato/onion salad w. celery also 70?, sauteed roasted veggies much of it 300?? total here: 750 whatev.

total before dinner: 1450 at least - not great. (i hate counting calories and would rather just eat the way i did on vacation, which is not possible, it would be too expensive and weightloss wouldn't be guaranteed as i don't exercise as much here as i did on my trip...)...my stomach is so weird today.



Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/20/2009:
I'm so glad you're back. Listen, it took me about a week to get back into the U.S. time zone when we returned from the UK 2 summers ago. All the traveling and change of climate and custom really plays havoc on a person. And I didn't have to be surrounded by all that second-hand smoke!

Good luck with your therapy appointment today! Today should be just intake and assessment. She'll ask you a bunch of questions about your past and your objectives. Don't be afraid or ashamed to mention the binge-eating. I know that this is something that I have kept from therapists in the past.

Not to dictate your schedule, but I would think that after 2 or 3 sessions, you should be able to tell if your therapist is helping you. I'm not a big fan of prolonged psychotherapy. DO NOT be afraid to switch therapists if this one cannot help you.

I hope you will let us know how it goes!

loveray on 07/20/2009:
its going to be a lot adjusting back to the time change and just a different lifestyle, so take it easy on yourself. i hope you had an amazing trip- cant wait to see pix!! xoxo

MoodyMe on 07/20/2009:
Losing weight is 100% mental and you are SO in the right frame of mind...Like you said, re-read what you have posted during this positve period if you start to feel "weak"~you ABSOLUTELY can do this..

greengirl on 07/20/2009:
Hi HoP, it's great that you are so positive now, and well done on losing weight again. I agree with you about it being harder to lose it a second time but I have every confidence that you will do it. Keep up the good work :)

thinnside40 on 07/21/2009:
You sound so positive and that makes others feel good too...... Happy Day!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jul 19, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

i exercised too hard this morning. could hardly breathe bc i am sick. was not so great and didn't eat until later...felt like i was going to faint. ok, i need to care a little bit more about myself i think! not sure if i'm going into school tomorrow. i have 4 sick days left and i really am sick. lol, it's not like i'll be missed!

still sick. ugh.

yesterday i treated myself like a princess - haven't done that it a LONG TIME. i got an hour facial (haven't had one in years!) and a massage (second time in my life!). lol, why do i feel the need to rationalize and explain myself. lol. but, i look back on the website when i got home, and i couldn't believe it! i could have gotten a free manicure and pedicure if i bought the package! same price, just more services along with the massage and facial. definite oops.  oh well, i enjoyed it all.  too bad nobody told me beforehand. 

my body was in so much pain and now i feel a bit better. i'm still sick. i was around many smokers all trip and i think that added to my cough and congestion. also, the lack of good air supply on the 12 hour flight probably did me in. and lack of sleep each day i was there...going to bed at 2, waking up at 5 or 6. i just want to be feeling 95% better by monday.  i haven't felt this way in at least a couple years.

again, a 4am breakfast today (that's like 10am in Israel so my body is still adjusting...): 2 servings pretzels, yogurt, low cal vitamin water: 320.

8am or so breakfast: 1.5 yogurts, strawberries: 200 or so.

flavored water during exercise (very difficult to breathe, perhaps i'll HAVE to lay off exercise :(  approx. 80 

total so far: 600 cool.

snack at lunchtime before i almost passed out: 3 munchkins from dunkin donuts 150

LATE lunch: celery and microwave eggplant meal: 400

total before dinner: 1150

dinner: plum 50, pretzels 2x = 200, salad 100, microwave meal 250 (prob more) total here = 600 eh. today's eating wasn't well planned. more fruit 100 more...

total cal 1850., exercise: great.

feeling like garbage...

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

midwest50 on 07/19/2009:
Keep resting and hope you feel better tomorrow.

halley on 07/19/2009:
It's so tought to recover from being that far away. Hope you feel better soon.

hollybelle on 07/19/2009:
Hey HOP. In my (humble?) opinion the place where you bought your massage and facial should have told you about the special when you bought the two services. Maybe if you call them back they will allow you to book the pedicure and manicure......or at least extend the special for you the next time you buy massage and facial????? Never hurts to ask. They should have told you though - that's just bad business! You could have had a wonderful impression of the way they do business instead of now feeling like you missed out. Sometimes the employees of these places aren't even aware of the specials they are running-that's not good, either. ANYWAY.....good for you treating yourself. I think you should do that a little each week and NOT give it a second thought. Practice makes perfect and that's a good one to practice. You deserve it. You really, really do. Welcome back from vacation - trip sounds interesting to say the least. I remember I went on a windjammer cruise once (sailing vessel - not a cruise-liner and it was wonderful, but there was also the issue of people hooking up etc. I wasn't interested in that and it was really weird because all the girls were not friendly - they were kind of cruising for guys. But this one group of guys that all went to college together be-friended me, etc. I stayed in contact with one guy out in CA for a long time after that - until I got maarried. We were just friends, though.

MoodyMe on 07/19/2009:
I second what Holly said about the spa~they should've told you when you made your purchase about the pedi/mani special. I'd call them...

Anyway, glad that you are home safe and sound, but sorry that you are feeling like crap. Be kind to yourself and don't push too hard while your body is down...

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jul 18, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

i've broken my weight goals into what i hope is more managable. by the end of this month, i hope to weigh 130.

1st breakfast around 4am: pretzels 200, yogurt 100, fruit 100: 400

2nd breakfast after i woke up the second time, lol, around 10 or 11: oatmeal/egg white mix, yogurt: 320

then just drank diet drinks rest of the day...

dinner at 7:30pm: salad 90, lots of celery sticks 80, yogurt 80, microwave meal 350: total: 600 great, actually.

total cal today: 1350 wonderful. nice job to me.

exercise: 2 mi in AM and 3 mi in the afternoon.

still exhausted but HAD to get out and move around a bit...

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

evaopala on 07/18/2009:
Keep on keepin' on, your doing great.

horn_of_plenty - Friday Jul 17, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 136.0

good evening all! i'm back from my 10 day vacation.  on the eating front, i did well for the majority. but, i did BLOW it royally on two separate dinner occasions.  (yesterday's calories, on our last night right before the flight at a restaurant with unlimited food, probably added up to 4000-5000. not so pleased with myself, but i've moved on and i've been eating quite normally today despite last night.

so, out of like 30 meals or so, i messed up only two of them. i wish i hadn't, of course. i am actually not eager to write a whole lot right now about my trip as i'm feeling very sick. going to sleep around 2am and waking up at 6am really did me in! 

i am certain i can continue to succeed in weightloss. but, when i weighed myself just now, i weigh the same - 136 - that i did before my trip. lol. but that's ok.  i will keep on working for my goals as i know they are reachable! :)

i was one of he older ones on the trip of 40 or so people. so at times it was really hard to fit in with them. many were 18 to 20 years old and I am turning 27 in a coulple months. i am thankful for the opportunity to go to israel, free, but i doubt i will EVER go on vacation again without knowing the people i will be going on vacation with. many times i was stressed during the trip.  many people were "hooking up" and even sleeping with each other, to put it bluntly. and this was just something i was NOT interested in. i am past that stage of my life, and it's been ages since i hung out with many college kids, and high school kids for that matter, for 10 days straight.

i'm exhausted and sick. and i hope to feel MUCH better by Monday when i am back in school. the flight was 12 hours back.

yes, this is a negative entry. yes, i am working to improve my outlook...


breakfast on plane: probably around 350 healthy calories.

lunch at home: probably around 750 healthy calories.

snack/dinner: baked chips 100, grapes 100, pretzels 120 (i've been craving carbs the past hour or so...)

total so far: 1420...

more food: two rolls with butter, yogurt, pizza 900. fine fine fine. not upset about this. my body feels sick and i'm not counting this as a binge.

total calories today: 2320.

Progress as of today: 4 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 07/17/2009:
Weigh tomorrow in the morning before eating breakfast and you may be suprised... :-)

Take Care!

midwest50 on 07/18/2009:
Welcome home! I'm glad you arrived back safely. I can't imagine traveling with 18-20 yr olds....but 27 yr olds would get my stomach in knots too! LOL. You didn't gain weight. That in itself is a major accomplishment, so pat yourself on the back! Have a good weekend!

h82bfat on 07/18/2009:
So glad to see you back - safe & sound! Two splurge meals while on a 10 day vacation - Great Job! Add in dealing with 18 - 20 year olds & that upgrades you to PHENOMENAL JOB!! Hats off to you! (I probably would have come back as a drunkard!!) :c)

Donkey on 07/18/2009:
I'm so glad you're back!!!

I'm very impressed that you are at the same weight. Very good! (I did not do so well while you were gone.)

halley on 07/18/2009:
I hope you had a great time. Relieving stress can be a good way to start losng weight again!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Jul 06, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 136.0

i'll be in Israel till the 17th.  See you when i return!

breakfast: oatmeal/egg and yogurt: 340

snack: pita w. little eggwhite and avocado: 220 :)

total so far/for the day as i won't update again: 560.

see you!


Progress as of today: 4 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

midwest50 on 07/06/2009:
Enjoy your time away. Be safe!

nenak on 07/06/2009:
have a great time!

hollybelle on 07/08/2009:
Glad to see familar folks still here. Have a wonderfu trip to Israel.

CritterMom on 07/09/2009:
Safe travels!

loveray on 07/10/2009:
missin ya!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jul 05, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 136.0


food calories ended up in the 2550s or so today. not pleased.  i was unable to control my emotions and took it out on food today.   i definitely became extremely overwhelmed about this trip. i'll be absolutely fine, but like in the past with my travels, the anxiety overcame me.   :(

when i visited my grandmother, i had around 1,000 cal just in cookies. so, as you can see, it adds up...


definitely freaking a bit about this trip...wasn't fun looking in Target for bathing suits, nothing good left. lol. you don't even want to know...

large breakfast around 9 before going out to the store to pick up just a few last minute things, before heading out to grandma....my mind is just swimming with all the things i need to do. (it's not really that much, but still i'm overwhelmed thinking about my 10 day trip starting Monday.

breakfast: oatmeal 150, with the egg white mixed in 60, 1/4 avocado 100, light yogurt 100, large tea. total: 410 fine...

light lunch: i was starving, stopped for a fiber one bar 170, then a light fiber filled roll lol, avocado, egg white and salad 270 total: 440

snack: dunkin donuts flatbread, i already bought it...

dinner: chicken bbq with parents...

the weight i have to lose suddenly daunts me.... :(

feeling overwhelmed today.

Progress as of today: 4 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

h82bfat on 07/05/2009:
I agree - I'm slowly incorporating healthier eating into our daily lives at home. Our deviled eggs were made with lite mayo this year (my husband commented on the "taste being off"), I recently started using whole wheat pasta and ground turkey and during the day my daughter and I snack on grapes, strawberries, bananas, rice cakes etc. I can't do to much at once - I'll have a rebellion on my hands! :c)

Since we didn't get any junk at the fireworks (funnel cake, cotton candy, etc) and we passed KFC, Tropical Smoothie, Quizno's, Arby's, Hardees, etc - etc as we walked back to our car (the aroma of food was everywhere) I let her get a treat & of course hubby had to have some too!

Have a great trip!! Come back with lots of great stories!!

grumpy on 07/05/2009:
Have a wonderful trip and I am sure the bathing suit looks great! xoxo

Donkey on 07/05/2009:
If you can, put the weight issue aside for now.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jul 04, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 136.0

LOL. so today is definitely a new day. i slept really late, nice! till almost 10am.  when i woke up, i felt like i had been hit by a huge truck.  the jogging last night right before bed and eating of crap before but not after left my body beat! but that's quite alright. i reached for a most strange breakfast of a light vitamin water drink, blueberries, a red pepper, and a tomato. i didn't have much veggies yesterday and i missed them. i started eating after 10, so i figured this would be fine, and also help move all the crap i ate out of my system a little faster. tonight i'm going to drink a laxative tea i have, bc i don't want to leave for israel monday morning still bloated! that would be the worst!

breakfast: 225 fruits/veggies/drink.  + 50 on more vitamin waters

lunch: eggwhite, wheat/fiber roll, avocado....and diet drink and/or vitamin water.225

total up to here: 550

at fire island: 2nd lunch/early dinner around 4ish after much walking: tuna sashimi, seaweed salad, and two small triangle shaped fried dough things w. spices galore: around 650...the portions were TINY.

happy 4th. stay healthy, stay happy.

late dinner 8:30: many more diet drinks, large whole packet light tofu and a tomato w. dressing for everything: little under 300.


Progress as of today: 4 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/04/2009:
I think we're living parallel lives, except I get no trip to Israel. My kids are going to Disney in August though. But not me.

I binged last night and slept until 10a today, too. So at least you know you're not alone.

We'll do better today!

MoodyMe on 07/04/2009:
I'm not up to posting an entry, but I just wanted to say that I am so inspired by how even if you eat more than you feel you should, you STILL get in a GREAT workout~when I eat too much, I just blow off the whole day..

You're doing such a fantastic job..I hope you have a great trip and take LOTS of pictures..would love to see them!!

loveray on 07/05/2009:
have a great time and be safe!! how long are you gone? i will miss you. xoxo

midwest50 on 07/05/2009:
Have a safe trip and post pictures!

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