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horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 28, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm almost too tired for the gym!!!!! :(  but i have to go or i'll eat.

pretty healthy eating today, aside from maybe too much salt.

1200 cal up till dinner.


so tired after school today. i sorta slept well, but was tossing and turning a bit.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/28/2009:
I know, today is a little low (but not as low as when you looked and i will have a healthy dinner now). i just needed a good kickstart! xo

MoodyMe on 04/28/2009:
Thanks for the advice regarding me going to the beach this summer~I really appreciate it!

How cool of you to go to the gym even tho your are exhausted...WTG!

nimony on 04/28/2009:
Good job deciding you have to go to the gym! Redirection, distraction, etc., it's all good for keeping us out of the kitchen! Hope school and life in general are going well for you. Have a great night!

selina on 04/29/2009:
sounds like you are doing great! WTG!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

back to school...........

breakfast: banana, oatmeal, egg mix: 350 good!

snack: almonds, cranberries: 290 fine....chips later on 140

lunch: DD flatbread and chips: 440 i think..  went out for someone's bday at school....large fries, and a really good chicken sandwich w. mozzerella, grilled peppers, etc. haha. but it was just what the dr. prescribed!!!!!  so, i don't know how much....but i'm guessing around 1100 at least....probably more, but no need to make myself all worked up....i forgot the ice cream cake!!!! ahhh, at least 500 more. 1600

snack: diet soda!

dinner: the DD flatbread sandwich i bought in the AM 290, also some healthy drink mix packets to fill me up more 50  total is good: 340

total: 2720...i will not let myself eat anything more.....there is NO need!  but, let me tell you, it's gonna be difficult.


doing well. :)  (feeling well)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Fattie2hottie on 04/27/2009:
Thanks for the comment you left on my diary! Sounds like a great day. I hope I can do as well. :)

hollybelle on 04/27/2009:
Woo hoo dear! YAY for HOP! You are inspiring me for my trip to Montana in Jnne with all that walking! We hope to hike a bunch when there. Can't wait - first vacation in about 3 years.

thinnside40 on 04/27/2009:
I like to see the "doing well.:)" and "(feeling well)"....... Good Job!

Umpqua on 04/27/2009:
I'm glad things are going well for you right now!

WI_HashiHypo on 04/27/2009:
I've been meaning to try those flatbread sandwiches, I think I might do that on Friday. Hang in there gurl!

MoodyMe on 04/27/2009:
Glad that your are feeling well!!

Are you going to school during the summer also? How much longer until you are finished? Just curious!!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: yellow raisin, oatmeal, egg mixture was good.

snack: fiber one bar.

lunch: dunkin donuts, 2 cookies, drink: 550 nice.

total before dinner: 1180

dinner: pizza w. avocado, salad.  not filling, ate too fast, wanted something more which is not good. going out for a bike ride soon....660 or so.

1840...not satisfied at all after dinner....

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/26/2009:
hahaha your facebook chica is here! that was funny. girl, you said i was doing great, but whenever i dont finish posting my menu it's bad news... oops.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm guessing around 2200 cals today. i'm happy with that.

exercise: i walked at least 7 miles today! and then i biked for at least 20 minutes later on! such a GREAT day. i hadn't done that walk in awhile and I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and also doing some extra that is not ordinarily part of the trail. :) so happy.  i hope you all had nice weather and enjoyed it too!

breakfast: mix of oatmeal 150, finished some old protein powder (i have lots of it laying around) 80, egg whites 60, and i added a banana bc i love them and they were in my house 100. total: 390.  :)

snack: almonds 160, some tasty canned fruit in my house that i bought at least a year ago lol. trying to eat up everything before i buy more. total 280 good.

lunch: maybe some diet drink and a fiber one bar... 150

snack: diet drink....and nature's valley granola bars 180....later on a drink....100

total so far before dinner: 1100. fine. 

.... maybe i can order sushi/seafood for dinner instead of the prepared dish they do for you...with all that butter. but, maybe i should just go and enjoy...yes, i don't plan on doing anything drastically different for dinner than everyone else! no need. i am trying to learn to live my life as relaxed as i can...and that includes not stressing over orderring dinner...

dinner: is out tonight for my friend's bday....benihana type of place (japanese bbq where they cook it up right in front of you)....lots of food. but i'm looking foward to it.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hi HoP, enjoy your dinner, Japanese is my favorite cuisine! Yummm! Good job on the walking!

Maria7 on 04/25/2009:
5 or 6 miles???? WOW-O!!!! And I am trying to talk myself into doing 1/2 mile on the treadmill!

nimony on 04/26/2009:
EXCELLENT!!! Great job on all the exercise and sticking with your plan. You really are doing a fantastic job and you're such an inspiration to me. Thank you!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

1610 total cal :)

IGNORANCE is NOT bliss!  I am saddened by all the hate in the world and people who think they are better than everyone else. We are all equal and let us live together in peace and harmony.

breakfast was great: oatmeal/egg mix and yogurt spread on top after: 350

snack: yellow raisins/almonds: 290.

lunch/snack: fiber one bar: 150

snack: protein "builder's" bar all natural: 270 (lots of diet drinks today)

total so far: 1060. today will be much lower than what i've been having per day this week. that's a good thing....

dinner: i think a dunkin donuts egg white sandwich, some vegetable drink powder things... (they're called red lightning if your're interested. it's the only one i like of the "lightning/nature's plus" powders that i've tried.  very healthy at about 22 calories per package. good source of veg/fruit vitamins...

exercise yesterday was fantastic. today, i will go to the park as well.  right now i'm just leaving some posts to you guys, ironing my white scrubs for school next week, did some reading....and just enjoying these next 3 days before school starts again. :)  It was a good break.

The weirdness: so that guy, who texted to say he would call did NOT. so i'm done with him. He had 2 chances to get in touch. that is kinda rude so i'm past it. which is ok, bc i'm not very into dating right now since i'm more focussed on school...and now fitness. :) and getting a job....

BUT, the florida guy texted me again. (i ignored his texts earlier this week bc i've been kinda upset with him). but i didn't text him back much and he decided to actually CALL me. we spoke for around 45 minutes. and it was pretty late, maybe around 10 when he called.  ehhh, not sure what to think of his call. I won't be calling/texting him though. I have learned to control myself....so that i will NOT end up being upset at my own actions with him.  If he wants to contact me, he can. but i'm not going around chasing him.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
im glad you are taking care of you! thats all we can ever ultimately do, right? have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the process. xoxo

Umpqua on 04/24/2009:
Sounds like you've had a great week off! It's difficult not to get upset by other people's attitudes in this world, but you have the right idea. If everyone focused on love, patience and tolerance the world would be a much better place. So that's what I try to do anyway. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
i love your quote below, ps. xoxo

ricearoni on 04/24/2009:
Life can get lonely sometimes but if we don't love, respect and take care of ourselves, we will never find anyone else too. Putting yourself first now is a great idea. Keep up your good work.

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hey HoP, glad you had a good day!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

accept people for their differences. nobody is better than the next person.  

breakfast: cereal: oatmeal 150, with egg whites 60, cinnamon, and raisins 130...topped after with yogurt 110: 450. was tasty.

snack: nuts, drink 260

Lunch: too big again. but whatever. 3 pieces matzah 370, microwave meal 350, 2 yogurts 200 total here: 920 wowsers....and roasted chestbuts 110 total 1030.

total so far: 1740...total cal around 2200 today...

snack: diet coke.

dinner:  300 in stuff. not in the mood to type it out...

total: about 2040! wonderful day. i hope you all did well too....

will be on the phone with that boy tonight.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/23/2009:
I like "snack: maybe". My menus from now on will be: Lunch: Yes, please. HAHAHAHAHA

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

woke up a little earlier compared to the last few days. that's ok. it was still later than when i'm in school!  plans today include lots of exercise. and also filling out a workbook for school that needs to be done. also, i know i'll be having an anatomy test the friday i get back to school. i think a may study a VERY LITTLE bit, but every day, so that the info really sticks and i do well on the test without being overwhelmed with studying when i get back...  i only plan on doing work during the morning. then, the day is mine!

breakfast: egg white/oatmeal mix 210, 2 yogurts 200, 2 chocolates. 50  total: 460.

snack: almonds followed by dates...around 300. eh.

lunch: lean cuisine flatbread atop with some egg whites i think would be good. celery on the side. 440

12:30pm snack: lunch was followed by some sorta unfortunate snacking of 620 cal of junk.

total so far: 1820. I'm planning on eating in the 2200s today. nothing lower.


its rainy, but that will not get me down. how can you be down on vacation??? i'm loving it. weird, but the guy never called last night. i had the same situation with another guy last week. but, i had a really long online convo with this guy so i'm not sure why he would say he would call but then didn't. whatever, i'm not mad at all or concerned. i'm not looking to go crazy dating right now. AT ALL.  i'm in school and feel that until i graduate, in a bit over a year, i just go with the flow. dating is not a priority at all.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/22/2009:
I agree with you. But now i have to tackle the weight loss. so who is this new guy who didnt call? I need an update since i've been away. guys dont call at times. weirdos.

loveray on 04/22/2009:
im so glad you are having a nice time-off. enjoy yourself! boys are retarded...dont let him mess up your good streak! egg whites and flat bread sounds yum. love you!

uni4sept2008 on 04/22/2009:
Its good to hear you are enjoying your vacation. And good plan on the little bit of studying! Lets the stress not build.

starfish on 04/22/2009:
Hi there :-) Great day! Thanks for the encouragement!

hollybelle on 04/22/2009:
Glad to hear a good note in your post. YAY! As for guys....things haven't changed so much since I lated dated, I guess. I don't get it why do they say they will call and then not? Do they think the phrase "I'll call you" is just an expression? Evidently they don't mean it literally! LOL! Or maybe they don't know any other parting words to fill the void? Who knows? They are strange and wonderful (some of them anyway) creatures!

Maria7 on 04/22/2009:
Re: My asking Christians to pray versus asking everyone to pray...the reason is cause I only have faith in prayers being answered going the route of Jesus...cause He is the only One that can save, heal, and do anything else. All other religions other than Christianity are false. So I have faith in prayers of people who believe in Him and do their best to live for Him (which they do if they believe in Him). People who believe in and live for Jesus are Christians. Hope this helps you understand. :-)

Umpqua on 04/22/2009:
I'm glad you're having a nice vacation. I have a few friends who have online dating experience and it seems like a lot of the guys have no trouble communicating online but when it comes to actually speaking on the phone and meeting in person they are lacking in basic communication skills. Ah, the digital age ;) My friends have met some very nice guys this way though, so if you can wade through the mediocrity you may meet a good one eventually!

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 21, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i would prefer this vacation to move a little slower! i can't believe it's tuesday already. today i've been doing some cleaning and organizing for the morning.

breakfast: egg white/oatmeal mix and yogurt: 320

late snack: almonds 160, orange 120: 280 total

snacking/lunch: 2 pieces matzah 260, eggplant rollettes mircrowave meal 350 total: 610 that's ok.

snack later: 2 small yogurts w. some added fiber stuff 220

total so far: 1430 doing ok!

dinner: will be the other avocado 300, lean cuisine 250, and celery 30.total: 580 fine!

total: 2010! awesome! :) i am having a wonderful break, eating within reason, and exercising. that's all i can ask for without turning insane!

it's rainy. so i'll be at the gym, maybe the park for a short while between drizzles.

i met this guy on a dating website last night. had a long chat online with him. he said he'd call tonight and we can set up a date. lives in the city but we'd meet on Long Island.  i will be nervous later for when he calls. haha.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 04/21/2009:
RE: Easter Sweets ~ I had been away from sugar (pretty much) & starches (pretty much)...That brought on a week of making sure that ALL left-overs were eaten ,etc..... I wanted "SWEET" every stinkin day..... I think my H/A problem may be a recip of the over-load and now back to moderation....

I will be a momma & say "be careful" when/if you meet up with this online dude..... Not saying it is right/wrong, just BE CAREFUL in this day/age of wackos.....

Have a terrific day!

loveray on 04/21/2009:
sounds like an awesome day! i hope you enjoy the chat with the new boy!! sounds interesting...keep me updated! thanks so much for your sweet comment, i needed to hear that. xoxo

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 20, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i thank you all from my heart for your concerns...

i did survive the wedding (and also did have some fun).

breakfast: yogurt, oatmeal/egg white mix: 320

snack/lunch: almonds 160, 2 pcs matzah 260, microwavable meal w. celery 350

total so far: 1090. eww. no way! didn't even feel like i ate that much!

snack at grandmas: apple which i ended up having an allergic reaction to (i'm only allergic to them in the spring when there's pollen,weird!) and two cookies around 300

dinner: was great. a whole avocado atop a microwave pizza. 650. not too shabby for all that.

total today: 2040 total sounds good.

exercise: 65 minutes on elliptical, abs, pushups. nice day.

soon enough i'll start weight training.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 04/20/2009:
Oh, girl, I came bacl on here to see if there was a post from you today! I am so heartened to hear that you were able to have some fun at the wedding - the flat shoes no doubt helped with that! Smart move. Good luck today - you can do it HOP!

loveray on 04/20/2009:
so glad you had a bit of fun! im glad you went. xoxo

WI_HashiHypo on 04/21/2009:
Hello there =) - regarding the thyroid. When the thyroid is finally dead, it will be easier to get back to a TSH baseline because as it dies off, the medication has to be adjusted higher to compensate for the dead parts. So it is frustrating to wait for it to die because you know the medicine will have to keep being adjusted to keep your tsh levels normal. So once it does die, we'll be able to find a does that works for me and won't have to keep adjusting it.

Once the body starts getting a steady amount of TSH and all the chemicals level out as a result, I think it will be much easier to stop reaching for food to overfuel my body. You see with a damaged thyroid I don't really have a metabolism. So I am tired a lot, but I am also looking for a constant stream of energy to help all my systems, while my body HAS food it isn't being used properly so only a quarter of what I eat is actually used to fuel me, the rest just sits there and can't be taken back up and used. So I'm always looking for a fuel source to keep my energy level going, to make me feel good.

I do believe that once all the chemicals are back in place, things will be much easier. But I still have to get the right attitude in place. =)

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 19, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i had dessert yesterday, too, so calories were a bit higher. i'd say around 3,000 approx.

today is a wedding. woke up and had lots of cream cheese and whitefish salad on a sandwhich of 2 pieces of wheat toast. 

for the wedding, i'm wearing all black but i realized the wedding takes place at noon...it's less formal i guess kinda at that time, no? not sure. anyway, i was going to wear heals, but if i do, i'll be in pain for the next week (my VACATION week) and that won't be good at all. so, i'm wearing flats. ha.

honestly, there have been plenty of times recently where i'd rather not be alive. that's the thought in my head, anyway. thankfully, i'm too afraid to do anything to actually harm myself so for now i can say i will remain alive but depressed. i am at a low right now in my life. a continued low for the past 2 years. i am struggling deeply to get out of it. i do not want to be at the wedding today. i am sad for what i have become.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/19/2009:
honey, i am so sad you are not well. im sending healing energy...call me if you feel like chatting. xoxo

Umpqua on 04/19/2009:
I urge you to talk to a counselor or trusted friend/professor - someone about how you are feeling. If this has been going on for 2 years it's NOT going to get better on its own. You have a lot of great things going on in your life and a lot to be hopeful about. I really hope you will get some help to get to the root of your problems so you can begin healing.

WI_HashiHypo on 04/20/2009:
GET HELP. The simple fact that you posted this here online IS a cry for help. Your mind is telling you to get help. You need help, you've needed help for two years. And you might just have a simple chemical imbalance that is EASILY corrected. MANY hospitals and clinics will work within your income guidelines (or lack of) and you may even find someone who is willing to help you free of charge because doctors and therapists are given incentives to do exactly that. You've taken the first step here by admitting you have those thoughts. And as a person who has those thoughts and who is still 'ashamed' to admit it even though the doctor is fully aware of my down times, there is help. But help won't come to you unless you make a 911 call. The step after the first is scary, I know, but when you finally get the key that unlocks what is going on inside you...trust me, you will feel a freedom far beyond anything you could have ever imagined.

First, seek out a counselor but let that counselor know you've not had a complete physical for a couple of years, then get a check up to rule out anything medical (Including thyroid disease-get the number!) and then continue with your counseling. The doctor can prescribe something that will help you feel better right away as well as something that will take time but evenutally help. There is NOTHING WRONG with asking for help and there is no shame in admitting to a professional that you need a particular kind of help. They deal with all kinds of issues each and every day. And you don't have to tell your family spit about any of it.

The first step of being independant is taking care of yourself. And knowing when you have to get outside help. Stop trying to carry all of this yourself! You may have something medically wrong that you didn't even know about! And your weight gain, binging, etc. might be a symptom of a medical condition. You are only going to drive yourself crazy if you keep going in circles waiting for that magic moment when you step out of this cycle and everything is well again. Sometimes we need help and at the risk of pissing some people off, I am going to tell you once again...YOU NEED HELP.

Get help. If you want me to do some research on clinics in your area that are low cost or doctors or whatever that will help for free, TELL ME because I am very good at being an advocate. I've done it many, many times for my employees. Anything from counseling to eye glasses. But you have to actually admit that you have a problem, and that will honestly give you the strength to get help.

ricearoni on 04/20/2009:
It's true - we all make choices and pay the price, we "do it to ourself." But, that is life and it sounds like you are working hard and have a lot going on and a lot to be proud of. The weight struggle alone is tough to deal with. You deserve to be happy. If you are not happy and have not been happy for so long, that is not normal and you do need help. We all do one way or another so please,let go of your feelings of shame and guilt and reach out. Figuring out what might be wrong physically or mentally will help you to focus your efforts to take care of yourself and achieve more success. While making no diagnosis of any kind, these kinds of feelings touch so many of us personally or through family or friends and there is help and hope available.

hollybelle on 04/20/2009:
Hey you know we have been following each others posts for quite awhile now - couple of years +, I guess, huh? So you know I say this from the heart - as I believe all the other posts above do, too - please don't do nothing to help yourself. Do something. It is always darkest just before dawn but sometimes the night is very long....Do you have insurance? If so find out what you need to do to get referred to a good counselor - if not - there are places that do counseling on a sliding fee basis - sometimes free....I wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you it will be alright! I have felt like you do and I'm sorry you are feeling like this now.

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