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horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Nov 21, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 112.4

Day 22, wednesday. odd, but my weight is up, 112.6

Plus, I had too much fiber yesterday in the form of one atkins protein bar with about 12 grams of fiber and then 2 balance bars with five grams of fiber each. You know, that bad kind of fiber from sugar alcohols and/or malitol! I did also have a lot of sodium. I still find it strange that my weigh is not a little lower, after 2 low cal days. I guess the weekend really did me in?


Day 23, Tuesday. Supposedly, 1490 calories. However, the lean cuisine I had for dinner seemed to have some extra rice in it. It said 220 calories but I don't know whether to believe it! Despite that fact, the day is calculated to be 1490. I intend tomorrow to be about the same, 1500.

I also plan on doing yoga tomorrow evening because I always want to do it more than once a week and I don't have work Thursday.

I'll write on your entries soon!

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4.4 lbs to go!

Scruffy on 11/21/2006:
Scruff was here :)

hippygal on 11/22/2006:
Well done on the low calorie intake. Enjoy your yoga

WorkingIt on 11/22/2006:
ohhh hooo sugar alcohols..ugh LOL

Have a great Thanksgiving!

maria777 on 11/22/2006:
Yes, that sodium will increase what the scale says for sure!

Happy Thanksgiving!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Nov 20, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 112.4

day 23, Tuesday.

weight was the same as yesterday this morning. I had a bigger breakfast because my body felt it needed it in order to get moving out the door. I have planned for 1475 calories today.


monday, day 24, 1270 calories.

I had a choice to have either 1200 by eating a 100 calorie balance bar or 1270 calories by having a 170 calorie bar. My mind decided I was more hungry and I wanted something a bit more than the balance bar. I had a good day today, in all.

I wish I didn't have to go back to where I work this evening for more parent teacher conferences. Nobody ever comes to the band room anyway! I got less done because I had to do a lot of driving. Tomorrow's another day. I have rehearsal all evening.

Time to practice for a little and get ready for bed. Goodnight all!

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4.4 lbs to go!

maria777 on 11/20/2006:
Hope you have a good nite! Good for you on your calories! BIG SMILE!!!!!

Scruffy on 11/20/2006:
Scruff was here :)

maria777 on 11/21/2006:
Hope you are having a WONDERFUL day today!!!!!

WorkingIt on 11/21/2006:
Great job! Sometimes breakfast is my biggest meal of the day!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Nov 19, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 111.0

day 24, monday. so far so good. I had a really light breakfast of a tiny apple and 4 tablespoons of ff cc on one rice cake. My weight was up today, 112.4 lbs. It will be down by tomorrow if I watch myself today, which I am.


day 25, sunday, 1911 calories.

mattscat, maria, geevee, moody, thanks for all of your kind words. Maria, from musician to musician, I see that you understand exactly what I was saying and also how it feels to have a lousy performance. I am also once again motivated to play better.

I gave a lesson today and the mother thanked me for inviting her and her daughter to the concert yesterday. she didn't seem displeased with me or like she didn't want me teaching her daughter anymore. that made me feel much better.

I am glad my calories over the weekend were high, but not skyrocketing high! not like the past weekends. It may have been because I was busier. Or, maybe because I am trying harder. But, I am going to continue to understand myself and prevent really high calorie binges. so far so good.

Goodnight everyone.

Thank you for all of your comments these past few days!

Progress as of today: 2.4 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

WorkingIt on 11/19/2006:
Just catching up on your entries, you sure have been through an awful lot of emotional experiences this weekend! What a rollercoaster ride life is, isn't it? I think that we all have those things in life that we are so very good at, that when we fall down, we are beyond humiliated..we are crushed. Our biggest critic is ourselves especially if we hold ourselves to high standards or if our job is to instruct others on how to handle that very thing. Kind of like walking out of the bathroom with TP on your shoe, except a million times worse. =)

Yes, it is always worth it..I should have said it isn't always worth it to be a woman LOL!

Scruffy on 11/19/2006:
Scruff was here :)

Runner on 11/19/2006:
HI, there! I just got caught up on your entries. I'm sorry about your difficult performance...but I agree with workingit that we're our biggest critics...and we're often much harder on ourselves than others are on us. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I truly believe that we learn from our "failures." I've sure had my share of them!

And congrats on not losing it with the food, especially when you were feeling down! Your hard work IS paying off!

borntocry on 11/20/2006:
Hi girl,

Sorry you had such a lousy recital. I read about it the other day but was having kind of a bleak day myself and was afraid that anything I might say would only make you feel worse! But I agree with everyone else - you are probably your own worst critic! I'm sure no-one expects you to be perfect. That's not your job as a teacher!

Anyway, maybe you can use this experience to motivate yourself to practice more regularly - I think you've mentioned before that you wanted to do this!

smiley2 on 11/20/2006:
Sometimes as an artist, you can be more critical of yourself than you should. Usually the audience doesnt even pick up on faults that musicians or actors make, so dont be so hard on yourself darling...nobodys perfect :)

WorkingIt on 11/20/2006:
YAY on your good day thus far! I keep forgetting to get the FF CC and I do enjoy it!

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Nov 18, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 110.0

edit #2: did yoga and had a good breakfast. I binged for lunch on 1416 calories. so far, my caloric intake for today is 1701 calories. I plan on ending the day below 2000. I will probably have a double meat turkey wrap from Subway for dinner.

I thought i was too upset about how my performance was yesterday to binge, but I guess not.

edit 1: sunday, day 25.... weight is up a little, 111 lbs

going to do yoga in a little bit!


day 26 saturday, 1895 calories.

I am not happy with myself, I feel depressed and ripped apart. I royally messed up today in my friend's recital. I played the parts terribly wrong at times and embarassed myself completely. I went to play the horn today and everything came out wrong and I just knew today was not my day. Then, I got there, and warmed up on the horn, sounding just as bad.

the actual performance started and our quartet had to actually stop a few bars after we began because my friend and I had the wrong parts. then, I proceeded to continuouly mess up the music, playing only one major solo right. I was shaking with nervousness and my performance really suffered.

there were so many people in the audience and they are music educators. who will hire me now, after that complete and udder disaster?

does anyone know what i mean? I feel I need to apologize to everyone in the audience. I feel like I have to call my past teacher who's in his 70s who was there and tell him that I am sorry he had to listen to that garbage that came out of my horn.

wow. what kind of teacher am I?

the other people in the quartet included a senior in high school, a freshman in college, and the senior having her recital. I spoiled the whole thing. and I'm the teacher.

Progress as of today: 3.4 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

mattscat3295 on 11/18/2006:
Honey, we all have those days, I am sure that you were just nervous. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

maria777 on 11/18/2006:
I am also a musician...I am my church's pianist...I've been playing piano since I was a child...and sometimes when I am playing the piano at church, I may have a day when I find that I am REALLLYYY missing notes!!! You are a human being and we humans are NOT perfect. I know it doesn't feel good when your performance is off and I know it is embarrassing, but keep on keeping on anyway! You don't have to apologize. We musicians are probably our own worst critics.

geevee on 11/18/2006:
I was in the high school band but was a mediocre player, NEVER good enough to play the parts that you do. I can well imagine the pain you are suffering now, and don't know what to say to make you feel better.. I guess nothing would do.

But you know, not everyone is honed in on the details like you are, and probably many in the audience didn't detect the faults that you did, so you shouldn't worry about this particular performance. I'm absolutely sure that EVERY single musician has had a similar experience.

Think of an opera star and what is involved with hitting "that particular note" and how the star's whole reputation is at stake, and then you have compassion for what the general public would call bad night.

Don't worry about it! It's not as bad as you think it is.

geevee on 11/18/2006:
A PS - Your personal standard of excellence is not the same as the general public's.

Moody on 11/19/2006:
I am sorry that things didn't go as well as you had hoped. I am sure tho that you are your own worse critic and I was thinking the same thing that geevee said..if I was in the audience I am sure that I wouldn't have picked up on anything, I mean that. Nerves can really get the best of us sometimes, especially when we know that we have made a mistake, that just puts MORE pressure on us and seems like we screw up even more. But as I said, I'm sure you are your own worse critic. Did you talk to you friend afterwards and see what she thought?

On another note; you said you thought you would be too upset to binge. I find myself binging in the most in THOSE situations. Stressed, upset and frustrated...I am not at all surprised you took out your feelings with food.

Take care hon..I hope you have a relaxing Sunday. ****Hugs****

horn_of_plenty - Friday Nov 17, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 109.8

edit - day 26, Saturday.

For breakfast, I had 695 calories. the first 1/3 was healthy fruit, a veggie burger on Rice Cakes and some cream cheese. Then, I had a flavored dannon yogurt and a powerbar. I'm not beating myself up and will allow around 1800 for the day. I have planned all my meals as well, which should alleviate lack of meal planning on the weekend.


Friday at last, day 27. 1490 calories.

First, I'll answer questions: I only like to eat cabbage cooked all the way so that it is soft and the texture is like silk. I hate raw cabbage, especially because I cannot have that much of it before the taste makes me sick! I feel that cooking it makes it much more edible. I cooked the regular green cabbage.

Awhile ago, I cooked the saboy cabbage with the shriveled leaves, but that is when i either didn't cook it enough or it was just plain to bitter and disgusting to eat. I cooked the cabbage this time in the microwave for around 10 minutes or so (it was a lot of cabbage, probably 4 cups worth) before eating it with the meal.

I am 5' 1.5" I am not very tall or very muscular. I wish my legs were more defined but I was not an athlete as a child and lack that sort of muscular build from years of soccer practice, something I never did! Slowly, I'm re-shaping my body with more muscle to one day be what I believe I can attain.

today was a pretty good day. I did 25 minutes on the treadmill walking and weights for a half hour. then, i went to see the musical at the high school in my district. It was very good as they didn't cut any scenes. It lasted almost 3 hours!!! that's a lot of work for the students! It's one of the most caring, hard-working, sincere communities I have ever seen!

tomorrow I don't have a specific time to get up. I have a lesson to teach and I will also be playing two short pieces in my friend's recital at college. Sunday is more oriented towards catching up and laundry and hopefully fitting in a yoga session. I also have one lesson to give.

goodnight all. I will comment on your entries soon!

Progress as of today: 3.6 lbs lost so far, only 1.8 lbs to go!

rjf on 11/17/2006:
Keep up the good work! Have a great weekend. *smiles*

maria777 on 11/17/2006:
I love cooked green cabbage, too! I like that it is good for you as well as low in calories!!! Good for you on your workout! BIG SMILE!!!!!

Moody on 11/18/2006:
Great job working out again!!! You are doing such an awesome job!!!

borntocry on 11/18/2006:
Hi girl!

Same here - I tried very hard to like raw cabbage but can only eat so much of it before it starts to get sickening.

Thanks for the comment you left me. For someone who has only just met me, and not even in real life at that, you sure know me well! I do have a really hard time making decisions, and am always second-guessing myself. I prefer to let other people make decisions so that it's not my fault if things go wrong! I'm trying to be more decisive but it's hard!

Oh and by the way, congratulations on reaching your goal weight! You had given yourself until December 10th, hadn't you? I see you've given yourself a new goal now. I did the same thing when I reached my goal of 114 lb last year - I changed it to 110 lb. In the end I went 1 lb under that and now I can't get that out of my head and long to get back to 109 again. Don't let that happen to you - stop at a limit which you think you can maintain!

You're doing great!

WorkingIt on 11/18/2006:
Very good idea planning the meals. Glad you aren't beating yourself up!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Nov 16, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 111.0

edit: day 27, Friday. weight was down quite a bit this morning, 109.8. I feel like it was a fluke, but i'll take it! lol. I eventually want my morning weight to be 105 or so. don't worry, I won't keep decreasing my goal weight to the point of being too low.


day 28, Thursday. 1500 calories.

I'm not sure, but I may have gone slightly over 1500. I had a lot of cabbage with my kashi dinner. I also had a whole red pepper. I was in the mood for large portions, and I wanted to use up the entire 360 calories I had left before reaching 1500. The Kashi dinner was 250, I calculated 60 for the huge tomato. that leaves 50 for the cabbage. I think I had what equals at least four cups. The bad thing is, I think that blows a little more than 50 calories. But, it was good, and mixed well with the lime cilantro shrimp kashi meal.

I had a meeting after school, which ended early. But, not early enough to get a manicure so I can look pretty when I play at my friend's music recital on saturday afternoon. So, i get to rehearsal, which ends up starting LATE! not cool. it started at 6:45 instead of 6pm. I was out of there around 7:15. I got home around 7:30 and made my dinner and relaxed until now, 9pm.

Now, I'm gonna take a 20 minute walk on the treadmill and then relax in bed and possibly study conducting, for like 10 minutes. haha.

I really loved all of your comments today!!!! I appreciate them so much no matter how critical you are, which you never are. I love tips and help no matter what!

workingit, I agree with many of the same things you write also in your journal. thanks for the kind words! I love sharing my food tips and menu ideas.

also, thanks for the fat free dressing idea. I may try it, depending on the calories. I am actually not a dressing person! that's right, only vinegar when I'm in the mood. Vinegar and spices. when i was younger, I wouldn't put anything on my salad either!

goodnight all :)

Progress as of today: 2.4 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

maria777 on 11/16/2006:
That cabbage sounds good...it is so filling, full of fiber and low cal!

As for dressing, I use Duke's colesteral, low-fat mayonaise dressing. It is real good and only 45 cals per tbsp!!!

Good for you on getting the 20 mins in on the treadmill!

Big smile!

WorkingIt on 11/17/2006:
Congrats on seeing a number you like! YAY!

Moody on 11/17/2006:
Do you cook the cabbage or just dice it up and throw it in wiht your meal? I love purple cabbage but only if its raw and in my salads.

Great job hitting the treamill..and congrats on your loss. Just don't lose too much!

maria777 on 11/17/2006:
How tall are you?

Hope you've had a wonderful day today!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Nov 15, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 112.6

edit: day 28, thursday.

my weight was down a bit today. 111 pounds. probably due to some water loss as well since calories have been at 1200. I was very hungry this morning. I will make today the normal 1500.

also, I think I may raise the weekends to above 1500, so I feel like I am not depriving myself. Weekends are when I go off the deep end. But it doesn't have to be that way!


day 29. Wednesday.

1200 calories. Dinner was a lot of food: 1/2 a package of light tofu, 100 calories. Lettuce. A Kashi Dinner, chicken and penne with some cheese flavoring and light sauce. It was good, but even though my stomach was full, my mind and body weren't satisfied. but, I stuck to it, because i wasn't about to go over 1200 after all the planning I did to stay at that number for today!

teaching is good. I was glad all the obligations I had after school today were more for me. I went to the Dermatologist and got there late. I knew I would be late, but didn't change the appointment because I know from going there twice that they don't keep track at all of when your appt is and when you are just getting a peel, they take you in right away no matter what! so, i was still in and out!

tomorrow is Thursday. I have an after school meeting, but band was moved to last Tuesday. This is good, because I'd prefer not to have another late night! Oops, but now I remember, I will be having a different rehearsal after the meeting. haha, there's always something... I'll be sad when I don't have this job anymore. Only about 1 month and 1 week left! Time goes soooo fast!

I exercised for 1/2 hour today and did weights. I hope to walk for a half hour tomorrow as well. It's far better than nothing, and really tones the lower body.

goodnight, all!

Progress as of today: 0.8 lbs lost so far, only 4.6 lbs to go!

monet0239 on 11/15/2006:
what a busy lady you are.. dont forget to take time for YOU !!.. hugs

weightlossyoyo on 11/15/2006:
1200 calories even! WOW! You did excellent today keep up the good work!

Moody on 11/15/2006:
Wow sounds like you had a great day!!! Look at your calories AND you got a workout in!! Woohoo!!!!

rjf on 11/15/2006:
<FONT COLOR="green"> It sounds like you are doing very well. BTW...I saw you mention fat free creamed cheese for veggies....try putting some dry Hidden Valley Ranch mix and some garlic *if you like garlic* in it......just a little....it's really good....if you whip it with just about a tbsp of skim milk...it makes a great dip. And yes...time goes fast when you are teaching. I can't wait for time to speed up for me.....*smiles*</FONT>

mattscat3295 on 11/16/2006:
Busy, busy, busy. You are just that. I am always glad when I am busy it keeps me on track better with my eating and workouts. I don't understand it but it seems to work for me and seems to work for you too. Take care of yourself and have a great day.

WorkingIt on 11/16/2006:
I am seriously going to have to try some tofu one of these days...so filling and so low-calorie and packed with good stuff.

You are an amazing person! I enjoy reading about your day and find that I agree with so much of what you say. Always a pleasure! Have a great day!

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Nov 14, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 112.8

day 30! TUESDAY. amazingly: 1210 calories.

I am proud of myself for not going over. there were parts of this day where I thought I was not getting by without some more food. I managed, though, gratefully! maybe I should have more confidence in myself? and not be so thankful, but rather strong? who knows.

the rehearsal went by pretty smoothly after I put myself in relaxation mode. what i do is just relax, breathing shallowly, almost like I'm sleeping. ha! yes, it's true. when you know you are at rehearsal for the long haul and you can't get out of it, and you have a lot of rests and not a lot of playing time, you just have to sit there and be patient. It's not easy, but I've accomplished that task. Many people talk a bit, but that's calling for trouble!

Teaching went well today.

My meeting during the other half was good. the director of arts who observed my band lesson told me she thought i did a great job last week.

now it's midnight and I have to wake up at 6. that is stinky. I'm gonna be tired and it's gonna be a long day. that makes me hungry. o well. maybe i should just do what i do during those band rehearsals. however, i want to exercise tomorrow, as i haven't been doing as well with that. today was a short 20 minutes on the treadmill.

i also get my second glycolic peel tomorrow. It takes literally 3 minutes to do, with no waiting time in the office. it's on the way home.

goodnight all!

Progress as of today: 0.6 lbs lost so far, only 2.8 lbs to go!

WorkingIt on 11/15/2006:
YAY for your calorie content! Be thankful or strong or whatever else it is that helps you stay motivated! The fact that you have patience to wait during your practice shows that you are very good at anything once you set your mind to it! YAY!!

maria777 on 11/15/2006:
Well, 20 minutes on the treadmill is good...that sounds like at least a mile or so! Good for you! Good for you on doing well with your teaching band!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Nov 13, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 113.2

Edit 2- this is gonna be a LOOOOOOOONG day. I'm gonna be up too many hours. I was gonna just have a 100 calorie balance bar for lunch, but that wasn't gonna help me get through the afternoon. I had a double meat subway wrap instead. If I really feel like my body wont allow 1200 today, I'll have to include an 8th day in this weeks total average calories. As long as the 8th day is between 1400-1500 calories, the total for 8 days should be just under 1800 per day.


edit: day 30, Tuesday. Gonna be a scary day. It'll be a challenge to sick to 1200 with such a late night, but i'll manage!..... weight was down to 112.8 today.

------------------------------------------------ day 31, monday, 1200 calories. doing ok.... two more days of 1200 and I'll be a tad bit below 1800 calories for the week.

I want to just skip band rehearsal tomorrow evening because I have parent-teacher conferences, but only during part of the evening. The conductor will get annoyed if I don't attend any. Maybe I'll just go to the rehearsal for the earlier band, leave to go to my school, and then go home and not go back to rehearsal after. that sounds like a plan! hopefully it'll work!

WorkingIt and BTC, thanks for the motivation. 1200 cal a day stinks!

anewvue, you asked me how I maintain. lol. yeah, lol. I lost weight about 3 years ago to get to about 8-10 pounds lower than I am now. I guess you can say I've been maintaining for that amount of time. I guess my lowest weight wasn't the healthiest, but right now I'm the heaviest I've been based on a morning weigh-in. Counting calories and moderate exercise are key for me!

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 3.2 lbs to go!

WorkingIt on 11/13/2006:
YAY You can do it! LOL I think 1200 calories a day is very difficult at first, that's for sure! I am reading a book called "thin for life" which is oriented around those who have been successful at weight loss and most of them say that they hit their lowest weight and then rebounded anywhere from 5 - 10lbs higher than the lowest point, and that is just where their bodies are happy and most comfortable. It is making me think about changing my final goal to 125 so as not to flip out if I get back up to 135 LOL. Have a great evening!

Scruffy on 11/13/2006:
Scruff was here :)

borntocry on 11/14/2006:
Good luck! When I have a long and/or stressful day ahead, I try to save a goodly amount of calories for later in the day, when I know I will probably need a bunch of snacks to keep me going. Yesterday that worked so well that I actually ended my day well under 1200 calories! I hadn't intended that at all but had saved a whole bunch of calories until the end of the day and then got so tired that I just went to bed!

greengirl on 11/14/2006:
Your schedule is so busy I dont know how you cope with it ans stay so good with the calories. Well done:)

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Nov 12, 2006
(still counting down 65 days...)
Weight: 111.4

Monday - day 31 - tired, still feeling sick. My weight was up a lot today. 113.2 pounds.

day 32 - 1300 calories today.

the rest of my plan is 1200 the next 3 days and then back to the routine of 1400-1500 the rest of the week.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 1.4 lbs to go!

Runner on 11/12/2006:
I really admire you! You've done so well.

anewvue on 11/13/2006:
I was reading your other entry...and I see you are almost at your goal...you are awesome and very inspiring. How will you start to handle your mantainence? That is always my big challenge....but way to go! I bet you look great!

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