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horn_of_plenty - Monday Jun 11, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0


I was eating alright...until tonight. i binged after dinner on bread with pb and 3 chocolate covered biscotti.

exercise: 75 minutes (25 min weights, 50 minutes cardio walking)

calories: 2385. blah, not good.

ok, talk to you all tomorrow!

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

MyJuneWedding on 06/12/2007:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, biscotti!!! No worries, tomorrow is a new day!!! awesome w/o times for today!!

Jmarie60 on 06/12/2007:
Don't let the binging get you down. Just reevaluate and really stick to your plan today. It'll be worth it!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jun 10, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

total exercise minutes so far in June: 430

total exercise: 45 min.

total calories = 1795. lol. could be worse! Breakfast was big, 750 calories, got me off track to start with!

I need to realize that stress shouldn't mean eat!

i need to decide and figure out how many days i have left of work...and if i'm allowed to work a full 90 days so i can be paid as a teacher. if that isn't the case...i don't even want to finish out this week: i have enough things to do (which doesn't include sitting in school pretending to work...i'd rather go to yoga!)...especially if i'm only being paid as a sub, anyway. oh, and especially if i have to be in the same room all day with the other band teacher! then, i can't even study for my last grad class or practice horn...because there'll be someone else there with me! so, unless i can stay a full 90 days, it is not worth it to me. i'd be wasting my own time. i love it there...but i can't just take up my own time from more important matters.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

harleygirl79 on 06/10/2007:
Thanks for the nice comments. I keep my exercise going. I am a junkie about it now. That makes everything worth while. plus my kids and husband and the fun we are having now. Keep up your great work!!

greengirl on 06/11/2007:
Fitness and healthwise sounds like a good day for you HoP!!! My photo yesterday was after the race, after we picked up our finishing medals!! We had a great time. I hope you get your days sorted out. it sounds comlicated!! Take care :o)

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jun 09, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

edit:...oops. i binged at breakfast and dinner: total = 2800 calories.



hey all!

exercise: 60 mintues :) (1/2 hr weights, 1/2 hr cardio)

calories: still counting.....edit later.

so, this morning was a rather large, unnecessary breakfast, but i watched portions throughout the day. breakfast = 930 calories.

i've been taking care of business today. making a hair appointment, dropping off some things to the cleaners. catching up with phone calls, paying bills, etc.

now i just need to motivate myself to practice for my class this summer....will do soon!

oh, i plan on leaving you all some comments tonight as well!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/09/2007:
How nice to treat yourself to some pampering. I desperately need a haircut too. I guess that would make me a Shaggy Donkey. Stay strong HoP!

weightlossyoyo on 06/09/2007:
busy, busy, busy!! Way to go on the exercise!!

Soon2BThin on 06/09/2007:
Oh, well, one day does not cancel out all the hard work you have been doing, right? Just get back on the horse tomorrow and do the best you can. That's how I look at it. Have a good one!

smiley2 on 06/09/2007:
Great job on the exercise! Im also glad your interview went well, keep us posted! Try and just have yoghurt at breakfast and nothing else....i have found that when i have any other sort of carb at breakfast it sets me up for a binge...dont know why. Have a good day! Wx

Donkey on 06/10/2007:
We are about the same height. Yesterday I topped off at 2400+ calories, because of the 2 Crunch bars I ate at the end of the day. I wouldn't call that a binge (it's not good, but it's not a binge). My point is, I didn't binge and yet we practically consumed the same amount of calories. I think we're so used to dieting and restricting calories that something over 2000 calories, which my ordinarily be enough to maintain seems like it's "over the top".

Have you tried to eat a little more at meals and then a 200-300 calorie snack 2-3x a day? Instead of feeling out of control when you eat, you will be more in control and keep your metabolism stoked throughout the day???

At any rate, please forgive yourself. Keep trying! To me, eating more but feeling in control is better than the bingeing. I *hate* that feeling.

WorkingIt2 on 06/10/2007:
***HUGS*** Holy cow you've had so much pressure! You know, you've had stress before..but (and I know I don't know the full story of your life) from what you had written before, it was nothing like what you've been facing lately! And you are doing better! Far fewer binges, far fewer 'no exercise' days! Hang tough..when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I believe that with all my heart in all life situations!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Jun 08, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

exercise: sad, none! i didn't have time and didn't want to do it before bed.

calories: 1555

the interview today went well. however, i am not very skilled in general music/chorus. Those are both part of the job, along with band. the interview lasted 45 minutes, which is good. but, we'll see.

I really hope something more geared towards just band comes along.

have a good weekend everyone!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 06/09/2007:
We all need to rest our weary bones once in awhile. A day off exercise ususally leaves me more than ready the next day. Glad your interview went well.

greengirl on 06/09/2007:
Well done on the good interview and on your calories. You gotta have a rest sometimes HoP. You make me tired just reading what you have been doing!!! Put your feet up now and then :o)

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jun 07, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

calories: 1365

exercise: 65 (35 elliptical, 30 weights)

the concert this morning for the parents went well...but not as well as yesterday's school concert for the students in the school. ahhh, i'm glad its over...its one less thing to have hanging over my shoulders.

I tried to go to the demo lesson in another school district and come back to school after...so that i'd get paid for a full day. but, that didn't fly - i did come back, but a secretary told me i'd get a half day. yeah, that looks pretty bad on my behalf!

so, it seems that my "90 days" will not come to be. so, for the 80-something (probably 88 or so) days that i will work, i'll be paid as a substitute teacher. if i work 90 days, i'd be paid as a teacher (and backpaid for all 90 days!). honestly, i'm pissed.

If i didn't have to take off what now adds up to two and a half full days because of interviews, i'd have the 90 days! i'm so frustrated about that. tomorrow, i have another interview about a little over an hour away at 4pm. I get out of school at 2:30. obviously, i'd be cutting it close to get to the interview straight from the end of the school day. so, i have two options:

1. tell the principal i'm taking a half day because of an interview.

2. ask if i can leave school at 2pm - instead of 2:30.

well, i'm going with option 1. whatever! I don't want to come off to the school as someone just there for the money. so, i'll have to take another half day. I'm so sick of running my life around school to interview to concert to school to interview. this means that i'm lowering my chances even more for the 90 days.

you see, i haven't been given a certain day as my last one. therefore, i don't know if they will let me stay on when the teacher returns for the last 9 days of school (or, if he didn't, he wouldn't be paid all summer). everyone's in it for the money. well, almost everyone.

i'm frustrated, pissed, angry. I don't have a job for next year. I've been running myself ragged with interviews. I have a course in the summer that I should have been studying for like crazy - and i didn't start because of all these other things. Nothing is really going smoothly.

the demo lesson went well. one girl told me, in front of the class AND the teachers/administration observing me, that i was a good teacher! I told her she was a good student!

we'll see what comes of today's lesson...if they like me enough to hire me.

i just want a job, one that i know i can perform well. one that is suitable for me...too much to ask? it seems that way. well, i guess nobody said it was easy.

we have to work for things. but, still, for how long?

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/08/2007:
Good luck on the interview. I cannot imagine the stress you are under right now. I will keep your hope alive even when you get discouraged.

greengirl on 06/08/2007:
Keep your chin up HoP. You do deserve a job. Thats a bummer about the 90 days thing, so mean not to pay you the proper teacher rate, for what amounts to being a few hours down. I know it's not much consolation, but we are all rooting for you on here :o)

weightlossyoyo on 06/08/2007:
Exercise and calories were GREAT!! Good luck on the interview!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jun 06, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

exercise: 10 minutes walk

calories: 1660

I thought i'd have around 1300-1400 calories but i ended up having a rather large dinner at almost 800 calories. It was healthy, though. Everything I ate today was healthy.

The concert today ran smoothly. I'm glad the 4th graders had a positive first experience ever performing their instruments!

I was sooo tired after the concert, just because i haven't been sleeping well. tonight i plan to exercise, because even though i put 10 mintues down as my exercise today, i have yet to complete it! also, i need to practice for my demo lesson.

then, i just found out that I have an interview on Friday, too!


2 concerts, 2 interviews, and a demo lesson in one week!

bye everyone.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

weightlossyoyo on 06/06/2007:
1660 is good, could have been really bad! Keep up the good work! Glad to hear the concert went well!

Scruffy on 06/07/2007:
Scruff was here :)

greengirl on 06/07/2007:
Busy, busy, busy HoP. Take care of yourself, and good luck on Friday. Way to go on the concert too!!!

sweetpea1977 on 06/07/2007:
Hey HoP. Im sorry for not getting to you sooner. You had asked me earlier what type of job I had (because of my 4 day weekend). Anyway, I work for the USDA. I work 9 hour days, which gives me a day off every two weeks. And thanks to Memorial Day holiday, I was able to enjoy a Fri-Mon weekend!

Oh and Mellow Mushroom is a pizza chain in the South. My favorite pies there are the Magical Mystery Tour, Kosmic Karma, and Gormet White. Here's a link to their website: http://www.mellowmushroom.com/

Congrats on the concert! And good luck on your interview tomorrow!

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jun 05, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

exercise: 30 min.

calories: 1150. healthy foods.

once again, thank you all for helping me feel a little better about the situation i'm presently in!

I went shopping today because of necessity. I must look presentable at my two concerts tomorrow and the next day. also, i must have another top for the demo lesson after the second concert.

i also had an interview today. I knew i was an unlikely candidate because i am not a string person...just band instruments. but, the job was both. obviously, i can learn. i just presumed there would be people there that do have both qualifications. one of the parents on the committee didn't seem impressed by me. i know i DON'T have that job.

i'm off to take a walk...because otherwise it'll turn into an entire week without exercise..and that doesn't have to be.

hollybelle, you're right. i feel like i'm at that point where sometimes i don't believe that i don't have to eat the way i do - the binging.

i feel like i positively can't binge for awhile...just because i will not fit into ANYTHING. and, really, i don't want that to be the case. In a month and a half, i'll be conducting in front of peers and faculty. in july, i certainly want to feel better about myself...and not worse.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Scruffy on 06/06/2007:
Scruff dropped by :)

Donkey on 06/06/2007:
Good for you on the walk! I'm glad you went and bought yourself some nice clothes that fit you well. Well-fit clothes make you look thin (unlike the baggy clothes I wear which make me look fatter than I am). Clothes are there to cover your body, not a measure of your Self. I only mention this because I used to have this backwards. I used to think that I had to be a size X and if I didn't fit into size X then that meant i was a failure. That's so silly. I really was a silly thing back when I was younger. Please don't be silly like me, because you are much smarter than that.

horn_of_plenty - Monday Jun 04, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

calories so far: 1420 exercise: 50 minutes (30 for weights, 20 elliptical)

lots of work to do...

i'm stressed out. my clothes don't fit well right now. i've gotten to the point where i know i need to do something about how i look. it's gonna take awhile for me to loose the weight. i have a job interview and also a demonstration lesson this week. i hardly have clothes for the concerts i have to conduct. i don't have time to look for new clothes. i'm a mess.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/04/2007:
Keep going, HoP! You can do it! Good for you on the weight training!!

MyJuneWedding on 06/05/2007:
You are not a mess, you are working towards a goal and don't you dare get frustrated! Take a step back and a deep breath. You are a beautiful work in progress and you will reach your goal. Every glass of water you drink, every healthy clean meal you eat, every step you take and every work out you do is closer to your next goal!!! ~hugs!~

hollybelle on 06/05/2007:
Great job. I was reading your comments on Saturday about binging - but slowly and totally realizing you didn't have to do it and your comment that was "weird". To me those comments indicate you are really making progress. If I have interpreted your posts over the last months correctly you have gone from unawareness until after the fact, to awareness but not believing you could stop, to awareness but knowing you don't have to. The fact that it feels weird is actually good. Positive change is happening and that always feels strange at first. Hang in there. P.S. could you clothes be fitting different because of the weight training. I know my clothes feel funny in spots (fit different) when I am really regular with the weights.

greengirl on 06/05/2007:
HoP, you are stressed but you are not a mess. Dont let yourself get into panic mode. Your clothes probably dont look any different than usual, it's just the stress making you think like that. You are good at doing 'busy'. You WILL cope with this :o)

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jun 03, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.6

i started out with a big breakfast, 540 calories. however, the rest of the day went well.

exercise: 30 minutes treadmill.

calories 1490.

i'm off to go do the exercise...haha, and then do work!

have a goodnight!

Progress as of today: -1.2 lbs lost so far, only 4.6 lbs to go!

Runner on 06/04/2007:
You are doing SO well, HOP! It's great that your binges are becoming much less frequent...and that you're so aware of when it happens. I'm glad that you've made so much progress!

greengirl on 06/04/2007:
Well done HoP. A good solid day for you :o)

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jun 02, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.6

i messed up today.

exercise: 80 minutes (60 yoga, 20 walk)

i went out to do yoga, which is good. but, i came home and binged. today was my first day in awhile with less errands to do. I was supposed to call this teacher i work with to go over a lesson plan i'll be doing at my demo lesson next week. but, i procrastinated in planning what i would be talking to her about. this is what i do when i'm unsure of myself. dumb. however, it was the same as usual...i was binging slightly slower, and totally understanding that i didn't have to. weird.

goodnight all, and thanks for your comments! :)

Progress as of today: -1.2 lbs lost so far, only 4.6 lbs to go!

maria777 on 06/02/2007:
Well, we all do this sometimes...we just have to pick up from where we are and go forward...don't let it get you down...and look at all the exercise you did! WOW!!!

greengirl on 06/02/2007:
Dont let this get you down HoP. Tomorrow is another day, and you will be strong again. You are under a lot of pressure at the moment and you cant expect everything to go right for you. The important thing is to get organised with your lesson plan. Good luck with that :)

Donkey on 06/03/2007:
I agree with what the others have said. Don't let this get you down, pick yourself up and go forward. You still got in some awesome exercising (don't discount that!!!). Procrastination seems to be at the root of your bingeing. Don't wanna do something so might as well eat. Keep trying, you can do it!

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