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horn_of_plenty - Tuesday May 01, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

well, i've had enough and have harmed my body so much that i figure why not harm it some more...i'm attempting a liquid fast for the rest of the work week. only liquids, beginning with water.

smiley2 on 05/01/2007:
Hey, do you have a lot of emotional stress at the moment? I found that it caused my binges in the past. Its like a vicious cycle and can become a habit so easily. I think you should start by getting rid of all the foods in your house that can trigger you for a binge. And put on some clothes that are too tight for you and just imagine how bad all these binges are for you! Do you have pets? Sometimes focusing your attention on them also helps. Good luck, thinking of ya! Welna

borntocry on 05/01/2007:
Oh my goodness, HoP! Hope you mean you'll only be having liquids at work - not the whole week?! I have done this once myself, though, and I didn't drop dead so hopefully you'll be all right!

Donkey on 05/01/2007:
Please do be careful with the liquid fast. I can understand wanting to give your digestive system a rest, but a liquid diet can really wreck havoc with your metabolism, slowing it way down.

WorkingIt2 on 05/01/2007:
Good luck with the liquid diet..I know I couldn't handle it so more power to you! I know how it feels to be just DONE with something. It does get better! Keep the faith! I'll check back in a month!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 30, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

I don't think i can continue on this way...ha, let alone sleep this way. i am sick to my stomach! i realize i've said this a thousand times on DD!

Edit: no exercise, did work instead. 5000 calories today whoa!

LOL, oh crap. well, i did in fact engage in binge behavior. around 5005 calories to be exact. i ate everything in my house. cookies, ravioli, bread with peanut butter, yogurt, chocolate chip cookies, chips, chocolate, etc.

hi guys. happy monday.

today calories will be high. i've been "bingy" all day, starting with a 700 calorie breakfast. I had a good snack in the morning after that, a vegetable and an egg. Lunch was supposed to be just tofu, tomato, and carrots (my usual.) but, i followed it with 12 sugar-free girl scout brownie cookies that were in the teacher's room at work. that's an extra 390 calories. next, i stopped after work for a high-calorie protein bar, followed by a yogurt parfait from mcdonalds, followed by a snickers marathon bar, followed by two pieces of matza (like a big large cracker). so far, 2230 calories. I still plan on dinner and will not starve myself at all...even though its already 4pm and i'll go to bed by like 9:30 to 10:30.

i'll try to exercise some, so i don't feel as bad. another update later!

Donkey on 04/30/2007:
Yes, you should still have a good dinner and not starve. Even if your calories are a bit higher today (and I'm not saying that they are, I'm just saying IF), you're not engaging in the bingeing behavior, and to me, that's worth the trade off.

noslot on 04/30/2007:
Look at it this way. At least you didn't go fast food hopping dropping $20 bucks on various value/combo meals. You should feel good that your binge was confined to what most people would consider health food.

weightlossyoyo on 04/30/2007:
I have had those days. It will pass!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 29, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

edit: i still have a terrible stomachache. I ate anyway,but now its worse i think. i am so bloated. calories: 1220.

calories will definitely be good today.

I had some jelly belly jelly beans, but sugar free. I should not have bought them because my stomach is now EXTREMELY bloated. I don't i've EVER felt this sort of feeling before. In the past, I've had reactions like a laxative effect when i've tried sugar free candy. this time, my stomach is actually totally protruded like someone blew it up like a balloon! it's kinda scary actually! I would like to have dinner, but my stomach actually really does hurt too much...feels majorly bloated and full!

I finally did some jogging and elliptical today! Exercise: 45 minutes!

have a good week everyone!

GG on 04/29/2007:
UH OH! That FAKE SUGAR does it to me ALL THE TIME! I can ONLY chew Orbit gum because since I CHEW SOOOO MUCH OF IT, my stomach is sort of ajusted to it, yet I DO HAVE horrible bloated occasions: especially AFTER DINNER. It is best to just drink a lot, even if it makes you even more bloated innitially. Once you keep going to the bathroom things will go down a bit. Try some soup for dinner, just something to drink with NO SALT...well then maybe soup is not such a good idea, unless you make it from scratch. Otherwise, eat some kelp noodles with tomato paste: I still eat kelp noodles but sadly, I only have one package left and I am leaving school in a week or so, so I cannot order more yet. I am trying to save this last package for when I really need em! haha. Good luck with your stomach! Drink some Camomile tea if it is not too hot....I am drinking tea right now and its about 80 degrees in my room so i Am sweating buckets! haha! I think I need some ice cold water: pronto!!!

weightlossyoyo on 04/29/2007:
I hope you feel better soon! Good work on the exercise!

maria777 on 04/29/2007:
Hope you feel better!

greengirl on 04/30/2007:
I hate that bloated feeling!!!Hope you feel better soon :)

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 28, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

my concert went well this evening.

1788 total calories today.

30 minutes exercise.


i have not had such a high average of calories that lasts over such a long time span as just recently. I am now calculating for 30 days. My calories per day average for 30 days is 1945. I've definitely gained a little weight and I am still working on bringing that total down. I will not start a new calculation back at day one until the average gets lower, like just under 1800.

tomorrow i have plans, which is very good. No yoga this weekend...some classes were cancelled due to a seminar.

Edit: I have just enough activities planned for today (Sunday). I actually ran out of time in the morning. I was going to clean the bathroom but didn't want to leave the house as a sweaty mess! So, I will do that later today. I also have to make flash cards and STUDY! I have an exam next week on Tuesday (not this Tuesday). The exam is my last written grad school exam! yay. I want to ace it!

Have a good day everyone. That's my plan, too!

I promise it will be a good calorie and exercise day!

Donkey on 04/29/2007:
I'm glad your concert went well. I hope your Sunday goes well, with no bingeing!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 27, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

the interview today was changed to sometime next week, the date and time not decided.

exercise: none.

calories: were good up until after the dress rehearsal/recording session. we went out to eat to houlihan's for someone's bday. I ate my food, which i didn't realize was fried until after it came. then, i had like almost 1/2 of my friends' dish. then, i stopped on the way home a picked up a cookies and cream white chocolate bar and a banana nut loaf slice of cake. I felt my heart racing as I ate and it wasn't hunger. I was having total mental cravings and it was due to how i was feeling about myself, crappy. I didn't enjoy the get together at Houlihans. I'm not close what the people I went out with and they are younger, like 3-5 years younger. All undergrads, and i wish i didn't go.

total calories: 3500.

jon'smom on 04/28/2007:
Those mental cravings are the hardest. Hang in there. Tomorrow is a brand new day and you will make much better food choices. Hope the rest of your weekend goes smoothly!

borntocry on 04/28/2007:
Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about your get-together. It sounds kind of like my trip last weekend with my husband and his basketball team. I felt kind of awkward and uncomfortable around his team and I guess I must have turned to food for solace, because I totally stuffed my face, to the point of physical discomfort (which rarely happens to me). I wonder what is the best attitude towards such events - to try to avoid them altogether, or figure out a way to deal with them so they don't affect us like this.

greengirl on 04/28/2007:
I sometimes feel like that at work, wondering why I'm out with people who I wouldnt make friends with normally in a social situation, but that's life!!!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 26, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

exercise: 11 minutes. haha calories: 1655

today i ate healthy things...just too much at breakfast: 605 calories.

i am debating exercise. it won't be much as i should really take a nap before my long rehearsal! i also need to practice and warm up before it...and eat dinner, so exercise is the least of my worries.

i bought cookies from the vending machine today. probably one of the higher calorie things...280 to be exact. but, they were so good. oatmeal raisin. that's all i wanted. glad i did it, lol. but, interesting, my body right now is craving vegetables. however, i feel like i need something more substantial to make it thought the night. eh, maybe i'll just pick something up on the way home from rehearsal so i don't go to bed hungry. yeah, i think it will just be some veggies and protein for dinner.

calories will be a bit higher today because of breakfast and the cookie snack; but will still be a good amount of calories.

i'm rambling quite a bit now!

goodnight. good day.

borntocry on 04/26/2007:
Oh, I think it's good to splurge every once in a while on a higher-calorie option, especially if that's what you really want and it satisfies you. You know, our bodies do need fat as well as vitamins and protein.

Good luck with the long rehearsal!

GG on 04/26/2007:
Even if you dont feel like exercising you should always do it because you know you will feel AMAZING afterward!! (unless of course you are sick or something, haha). I never feel like working out 1st thing in the morning but the best feeling ever is getting off the treadmil/elliptical trainer after my 100 mintues and thinking YES I am done and feel great! It gives me so much energy and it would give you a lot too which would help you get through your LONG rehearsals!! You should try baking your own oatmeal cookies so you can control the ingredients, probably even more time consuming haha, but whenever you have a free time and want to unwind from all the stress cooking is known to be the best.

hollybelle on 04/27/2007:
Hope you have a good interview today (Friday).

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 25, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

edit: 20 min exercise and 1510 calories. not too bad for today.

my interview went pretty well overall. It was another one of those fast, 15-20 minute screening interviews. I played two musical instruments and all and now I'm off to a late night rehearsal. Friday I'll be having another interview after school...and I probably will not take off work...not a full day, anyway.

calories so far: 1380. not bad. I hope i'm not hungry after rehearsal tonight! I'm pretty full right now!

thanks for all the good luck wishes!

greengirl on 04/25/2007:
I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you have a good result from your interviews. You work so hard, you deserve some good luck :o)

lafemme_loca on 04/25/2007:
I really hope that you get it !!! Good luck... :-)

borntocry on 04/26/2007:
Hi HoP! Glad your interview went well!

Thanks for your comment. When I complain about my hips, I mean all the fat hanging around them, not the actual bones, haha! I have 39-inch "hips". If only I could move a couple of inches from my hips to my chest, I could achieve that ideal 36-24-36 ratio, but I guess it's never going to happen!

Well, good luck with your interview on Friday! Knock 'em dead!

mcwoo40 on 04/26/2007:
Hi,hope something comes good out of your interviews,Stick at it,Julie

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 24, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Edit on Wednesday morning: yesterday I did in fact have a large, sugar-loaded yogurt. 40 grams of sugar in that sucker! but, thats all i eat last evening. it was 240 calories. I'm tacking those calories to today's total, instead of yesterday.

For breakfast, 2 green peppers, 3 eggs. usually, i have up to two eggs, but that's done and over! so, breakfast = 270 cal plus the yogurt from the night before: 510 so far. My goal is around 1600 for the day!

have a good day!



1400 cal.

35 min exercise! yay.

i ate a really, really filling dinner...and i am trying to NOT go back for more food...because i'm wanting more...not because i'm hungry. I'm nervous about my interview tomorrow...and all the work that i have to get done for my teaching. i took tomorrow off from work because I know it wouldn't be smart to go into work when i have to get caught up on so many things. if i went into work, my day would be occupied with teaching and i need to first get caught up on my own paperwork- and not leave the whole day to be taken up by other things! at least i know that that the students who i will not teach are the ones that understand the material the best...and therefore they will not be behind when i see them next.

Donkey on 04/24/2007:
Good luck tomorrow!!! I'm glad you took the day off tomorrow too, except I hope that won't lead to bingeing. Not good to binge before an interview. You want to go in feeling good about yourself, feeling your best. Hard to do that with a tummy overstuffed with food.


sharklover on 04/24/2007:
Oh good luck on your interview!

Probably a good idea to take off of work if you have lots of stuff to catch up on/ prepare.

Hope tomorrow goes well! :-)

borntocry on 04/25/2007:
I agree with Donkey. You want to feel confident and good about yourself, not demotivated and discouraged because of a binge. Food won't help you get through this interview or get caught up on your work! A good night's sleep and a calm mind is what will!

Umpqua on 04/25/2007:
I like that idea of adding late night food to the next morning's tally! And I suppose if you're going to binge it's better to do it in the morning since you can burn some off. I wish I could eat more in the morning but I always get the snack urge in the evening.

Moody on 04/25/2007:
Good for your for putting your priorities in order!! That will relieve some stress for you. I haven't had time to go back and get caught up on everyone's entries so I am wondering what type of interview you are going for?? I wish you the best and am keeping my fingers crossed for you!!! They would be lucky to get you so I hope they grap you up quickly!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 23, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

well, of course i blew my day with a morning binge of 1140 calories.

overall, calories will be 1710 and exercise is 25 min walk.

i'm doing alright, could be better, trying to get through late night rehearsals, interviews, grad class, and work all rolled into one!

have a great day and evening!

borntocry on 04/23/2007:
Hi HoP! I'm just catching up on your diary and I see you've had quite a bingey time lately. Gosh, so have I! I thought those days were in the past, then I had the mother of all binges on Saturday. I don't even want to think about it... but then at the same time I do, because I want to remember how horrible I felt afterwards so that I'm discouraged from repeating the experience!

Oh, and I loved reading that you like going to supermarkets! That is one of my favourite past-times, especially in America, because the supermarkets are so nice and big there. Over here they're much smaller and always so crowded, it's not as much fun. But I can spend hours grocery shopping in America - I love it! The last time I went, I had my husband drop me off at the store and leave me there for a couple of hours while he played basketball - I didn't want him hanging around getting irritated and making me hurry up!

Oh and guess what I got in London? The shirataki noodles! Yes! I have yet to try them, though. I am saving them for a hungry day... at the moment I am still too grossed out by the memory of that huge food-fest on Saturday...

Well, good luck getting through the rest of the week - sounds like a busy one!

Moody on 04/23/2007:
Wow your plate is sure full..no pun intended.

Will you get a break during the summer?? I sure hope so! Hang in there!!!

Donkey on 04/23/2007:
You seem to be doing remarkably well for as busy and as stressful your days seem to be. I cheer you on!

weightlossyoyo on 04/24/2007:
You are doing GREAT!! especially for your busy schudule.

greengirl on 04/24/2007:
Try and find some time to pamper yourself. You are always so busy!!!!

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 22, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

edit: 1200 really healthy, excellent calories!

exercise: NONE! yeah, i'm just going to hang out. prepare for my week. this week isn't going to be a good exercise week due to the demanding schedule! I will try to fit it in the best i can!

Hi Everyone,

After today's 1200 calories...and I must do exercise too..i'll update that later! well, after 1200 calories today, my 24 day average will be 1949. It's still going to take awhile to keep that average lower...and my weight lower. I weighed myself after a large breakfast and it said around 115. That means that since my lowest weight of about 106-107, i've gained about 8 lbs...since december. that's easily fixed, you would think! well, not that easy.

i was unmotivated to exercise today and I have lost my university ID to use the gym! I think I borrowed a book at the library and my ID was not returned to me! i think it might have been thrown out! that means i have to purchase another!!!! i've had to do this like at least twice as a grad student already! that means another $10 down the drain!

i've been chilling out most of the day, completely unmotivated to do much. I have so much to do in the upcoming week, its not even funny. I was supposed to have a job interview in ritsy Scarsdale, a rich upper class neighborhood in New York. but, i've decided not to go. the drive would be over an hour on Monday, my only day to do work for my grad class. I researched that district. Districts like that one generally don't hire candidates who haven't worked for awhile in another district. I have not been in any district longer than a year and my chances of being hired are so slim! so, i decided it is not worth the long drive on my only day where i can get some work done. plus, tuesday night i have class..followed by LONG rehearsals till 10:15 on wed, thurs and fri. then, i have a concert saturday night. oh, and another interview wednesday right after school.

plus, i can't take a day off work because i am the "band substitute teacher." that would be irresponsible...even though i'm going to feel like a zombie by wednesday. don't get me wrong, i don't want to feel like that...but how can i not!? my schedule demands too much and i don't have a choice.

i think i might see a psychiatrist and get a prescription for something that might make me relax...anyone have any experience with this? I'm taking the most important class, and last class, of my degree this summer. I must be able to sit down and study...and not for short periods of time. I want to take something that would help me focus...and do well...better than if i didn't have it. otherwise, i don't know if i can get though the course. it involves conducting and leading an ensemble consisting of my peers and other teachers...that are required to judge how i do and giv me feedback each night for a week straight. of course, i'm supposed to do work for it beforehand.


thanks everyone.

Donkey on 04/22/2007:
If I may just throw in my 2 cents.... I think rather than "something to help you relax" (anti-anxiety), you may want to explore an anti-depressant. They are supposed to help you focus more and also help with bingeing. I only mention this because I have taken things for anxiety, and they usually knock me right out, even at the lowest possible dosage and the pill cut in half. Well, it's something to consider at any rate...

GG on 04/22/2007:
Ugh!!!! That stinks about your University ID, I have basically GLUED mine to my butt so I do not loose it! It is my lifeline to the gym, to get food & bottled water: if I lose it I will have to pay $20 for a new one, but it just so time consuming and a hassle to wait in line!! What University do you work at? I used to live in Greenwich, CT which is relatively close to Scarsdale, so I know what your talking about, what was your job interview for? I'm a little confused on how you count your calories, 1949 avg. for 24 days? Do you average your days together or something and how does that help in the long run? I am not sure if even counting calories helps that much(i do it though) because if anything it makes me feel more guilty if I go over a certain amount...but oh well, I am not a slave to it. I use Calorie-Count.com and log in my calories & work outs every day along with my weight. I find the website fun just because I can explore all the foods there are in this world!!! its crazy: if you have never been to this website try it out. Good luck with your next week!!!

smiley2 on 04/22/2007:
WOW 115 is still very low, my dream weight hehe! You aint doing that bad are ya?

Ive been on antidepressants through my last year in University. It helped me a lot to focus, relax and reduce my anxiety. Some medications do cause drowsiness though. I think you should check with your psychologist which medication will suit you best.

Donkey on 04/22/2007:
I forgot to add: I do not think that you weigh 115, if you weighed in after a big meal. I am guessing around 110 and you know, even that's not certain. But at 110, that's only a 2lb gain.

tourguidebarbie on 04/23/2007:
Hey!, Yeah, i've been having a blast with Armando. He is just so fun to be around and i get butterflies... It's like he's so cute why is he talking to ME?? Lol... I'm just a lucky girl i guess. A happy lucky girl :)

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