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horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 19, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

2805 calories today.

no points today.

have a goodnight!

oh, really good binge foods! tam tam everything flavored crackers, two oatmeal raisin powerbars, 1/2 an apple nut pound cake!, advantage peanut butter chocolate bar, 14 ounces tofu with flavored spreads sugar free on top, potato chips. nothing's better than that, seriously.

i'll have to watch myself later this week. probably nothing below 1200 per day, though.

WorkingIt2 on 03/19/2007:
Hello! Just read your entries for the past couple of days...I must say that I was thinking about Yoga today..that and Pilates...I want to do something on my 'off' days that is more low impact and body shaping without hitting weights...and I'm thinking I will find a nice easy intro yoga dvd and a nice easy intro pilates and switch them between the two off days. I have such limited flexibility! Were you naturally flexible when you started Yoga? I'll probably ask you a LOT of yoga questions, hope you don't mind! Have a good night and take very good care of yourself!

WorkingIt2 on 03/19/2007:
PS. I just read this and HAD to post it to you!


sasyredneckgirl on 03/19/2007:
Hope you have a good week :)

sharklover on 03/19/2007:
Hey, if you're gonna binge, you might as well do it right! :-)

horn_of_plenty - Sunday Mar 18, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

2 WI Points! No yoga, not enough time in order to get everything else done without being rushed around on a Sunday!

Food was good, a little more than I planned, but its ok! I'll make up for it this week.

calories: 1590. I was planning on 1500, but had an apple after dinner.

Lots of kelp noodles today. I also had a really good Lean Cuisine Panini!! you've got to try those. However, you need to eat them with a large salad or another type of filling food. I wouldn't be satisfied with it if I didn't have the salad and TWO kelp noodles packages! LOL. then, i went on to have some tofu and rice cakes with some sugar free spreads. they weren't too good, but the caramel flavored one was ok. however, the store will not accept opened products, so i think i will definitely continue using the chocolate and marshmellow calorie free spreads. they taste quite fake, though.

I'm so glad I got a decent amount of exercise in today: 1 hour. However, as I did some jogging, I could tell my body couldn't even do what I was able to do last Sunday! I'm gonna have to sit around less at the computer...and move around more!

The image of myself in my head is not the same image I actually portray. I do not behave how I imagine I could. I see myself being a successful school administrator (an elementary principal) and I do not believe I'm doing everything in my power to get there! Of course, I need to teach a few more years first...in a steady job.. so, this dream of mine isn't anything more than that, just a dream right now. But, i can see it. this is what I really want!

Also, i want to be more fit. I cannot believe I am a teacher who can't find the time to exercise! Finally, my mom told me that maybe I do plan too many things sometimes...like practicing with too many groups in the evenings. This may be the case, I'm not sure. However, if I don't play in orchestras/bands I will not get experience. for what, I'm not sure.

there's a lot that I am still working out.


oh, and calorie-wise, I have not balanced out the major binge I had just yet. After Monday, as long as my calories are what I have planned around, calories will have been balanced. That will mean it took 10 days.

Justine6Robert3 on 03/18/2007:
That's great that you have set goals for yourself. An elementary principal, that's a great thing to aim for. My daughters principal is female and I think she is wonderful with the kids. She is friendly and positive, yet stern, if that makes any sense. My daughter loves her, once she seen Jennifer Lopez in a business suit (can't remember wich movie I had flicked by on T.V.) but she said, that looks like my principal. That's quite a compliment to her principal, ha, ha! I think it was the pant suit that reminded her of her principal and apparently she thinks she is "pretty" also.

You sound like your in good spirits today! Great job on your calories and getting an hour of exercise in!

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 17, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Edit: 2 points for exercise! Calories = 2060 today. i was surprisingly not hungry after my concert. i ate too much earlier. but, calories are in the "normal" range for an active person. I doubt I was active enough to burn all of that, though. But, I'm happy the calories didn't end up reaching 2500. Now, less work to balance high calories out

Its strange, whenever I overeat, I work to balance out calories. Once they are balanced, I feel no pressure to continue eating so carefully and I binge, and then repeat the cycle. Sometimes, I'm able to hold on a little longer, like when I'm under pressure. Usually not. This is my life.


WI Points: it will be 2, even if I have to stay up to do the walking! everything was delayed and my schedule changed dramatically since the morning.

Today will not be the 1750 day I planned. It'll be more around 2500.

I splurged on both a breakfast snack and my late lunch at 4. I will have something to eat after the concert; and whatever i'm in the mood for, I'll have! I have 2050 calories now. This leaves plenty of room, if necessary!

i'm still in a sour state of mind....trying to improve it...

when i went to yoga, i didn't do well. the reason is because I haven't done it for 2 months (aside from a month ago when i went one time!). I like it, but am upset that i have gotten so much worse at it!!! it makes me want to go more...but i can't! I do not have the patience nor motiavation to do the yoga at home. I ONLY would do it at the studio!

goodnight all!

GG on 03/17/2007:
these noodles you speak of, shiraki, are they tofu?? Tofu does not settle well in my stomach which stinks because I have seen these noodles everywhere and with zero calories, I would go crazy and eat em constantly!! You're lucky you can stomach them! haha! Good job on going to Yoga, if you have not done it for a while dont expect your self to do an awesome job, it takes time to build it back up! Personally I cant stand YOGA because it is so slow and kinda boring and I do not think to THINK all that much! haha, treadmils are where its at! haha!

WorkingIt2 on 03/17/2007:
I hope your mood improves so that you can feel better and be happy! Like Hollybelle is my step aerobic inspiration, you are becoming my yoga inspiration! I would love to start yoga and your motivation and love of the sport is very encouraging!

borntocry on 03/18/2007:
Hi HoP! I know what you mean about the yoga. I feel the same way about running, and weight-lifting. It isn't fun when you haven't done it for a while and feel that you're no good at it any more. That's why I try to keep it up even when I don't feel like it.

I am also interested in yoga, but fear that I wouldn't have the motivation to do it at home!

Oh, and thanks for reminding me that I haven't been eating enough vegetables lately. I used to have much more of them, but then I was diagnosed with this horrible health condition and I had to cut down on fruits and vegetables. But now it seems I am better so I should go back to it. After reading your comment I went out and stocked up on some vegetables (I didn't have any yesterday, though!).

Donkey on 03/18/2007:
I"ve been in the same boat. I exercise to eat. Then I wonder why I can't reach my goal weight.

geevee on 03/18/2007:
I know how you feel about being out of condition doing yoga. I hadn't done it for something like 18 years and then went back when I joined the Biltmore. I could remember how easy it had been to do all the postures yet how poorly I was doing at first. The funny thing was how quickly it all came back! Really, in no time at all I was doing as well as I had years earlier. The body's muscles do have a memory.

Now, it's been a good year plus since I've been to yoga and I'm faced with the same situation all over again, but now I'm not concerned because I know I'll snap back in no time.

What I love about yoga is the slowness and how you can feel your body adapting and getting better at stretching into new asanas. I think the biggest plus in doing yoga for me is how I lose my appetite and always start losing weight when I do it.

Like you, I am totally unmotivated when it comes to doing it at home. Even though there are two yoga classes a day on TV, and they're even repeated later in the day in case you missed the first one, I just can't do it alone. I need to be in a class.

WorkingIt2 on 03/18/2007:
Great job! I am so happy for you!!

horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 16, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Edit: saturday: I've done everything in my power to eat so that I am satisfied and full...especially because yesterday was such a low cal day. I did end up getting quite hungry after i cleaned the ice off my car.

so far: egg and apple for breakfast...4 cups of bran cereal with 2 cups of soy milk (this all equalled two bowls of bran) and followed by a cup of pineapple flavored cottage cheese.

total cal - 950.

I would like to eat up to around 1750 today. that would be the goal.


WI points: ZERO...

995 cal. not easy! not again tomorrow, don't worry!

i woke up and was surprisinly not as hungry as I thought I'd be. I think eating right before bed did the trick last evening! I stuck to just an egg and an apple for breakfast. Later, a snack of another hard-boiled egg midmorning. I was very hungry, more than usual, by lunch. It was low cal, carrots, tomato and tofu.

My rehearsal tonight is cancelled due to the "ice" storm. Its terrible weather out there! I'm glad, because i'm just vegging out...next week will be busy and certainly next weekend! I have a much to be desired break here! I hope to use it wisely...and not binge and ruin it for myself.

I am trying to have a very low calorie day...because I wanted to somewhat even out my calories in seven days based on last Saturday's 4790 day...which has been on my mind a lot this week. somewhat obsessed, i suppose.

last night at rehearsal, i was having an AWEFUL time. at first, I was trying really hard and actually enjoying playing the music that was sounding nice coming out of my horn! however, all of a sudden i felt i wasn't doing well...and lost ALL momentum. I was spent, drained, from lack of sleep all week...although I did lie down in my bed for about 10 minutes that afternoon...which I do believe helps. I sat there feeling upset, depressed, anxious, and wanting to leave!!! Of course, that's not allowed!!! I felt this way for at least the last hour and a half of the 4 1/2 hour rehearsal. Luckily my mood improved over the day today.

thanks for your comments, even though i have not been able to comment on your entries as much within the last couple of days!

I may even update later more!

Goodnight all!

sasyredneckgirl on 03/16/2007:
Can you belive this crazy weather???

borntocry on 03/17/2007:
Oh gosh, I'm sorry you had such a miserable rehearsal. Reminds me of those days when I go running and all of a sudden just fizzle out of energy and have to walk home! (In fact, I kind of feel like I'm going to have one of those days today!) I think you need to catch up on your sleep. I was in a severely sleep-deprived state yesterday and I could barely function. We shouldn't underestimate the importance of a good night's rest!

smiley2 on 03/17/2007:
Wow a hour and a half practice session, that is not for the faint hearted! I hope you guys get breaks inbetween, otherwise its enough to break any person psychologically!

horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 15, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

I was hoping for another 1200 day, but I guess lack of sleep and already having a few low days wasn't going to help me get another today! It looks like I'll be needing about 3 more days of 1500. I can't think about eating only 1200 anytime soon again...for the time being!



WI points: none. this is the least I have exercised in months!

total cal: 1735.

edit: calories so far: 1445. It's only 5pm...and I have rehearsal till 10:15pm. I don't plan on eating anything there and hopefully I will not get too hungry. I would like to just come home and then go to bed...without a snack. Otherwise, calories may go up to another hundred or so.


today I had a VERY large breakfast...i couldn't sleep well last night and woke up early in the morning. I resorted to food for fear I wouldn't be able to get through the day?! hmmm. but, the rest of the day has been ok. I'm trying to take a little nap before my rehearsal...so that i can come home late and still make it through the day tomorrow...and evening, when i have another rehearsal!

Large breakfast = 840 cal.

I'm still working off of last saturdays "master binge!"

monet0239 on 03/15/2007:
just a quick hello hun.. have a great rehearsal :)

Justine6Robert3 on 03/15/2007:
It must be frustrating for you to want to exercise but you are so busy right now!! I'm sure your burning alot of calories just running around all of the time and being on your feet!! Take care and make sure your getting enough sleep. We all know being tired seems to make us eat more!

I hope your rehearsal went well!

borntocry on 03/16/2007:
I think you're doing the right thing - I also shift my calorie limit up to 1500 or even 1800 if I think I need to. No point setting yourself up for failure!

WorkingIt2 on 03/16/2007:
1200 calories a day is so difficult sometimes! I hope you get some good rest soon..I know it is difficult, but you've also been much busier this month!

horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 14, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points. none. not enough time, really.

calories: 1095. ahh, practically 1100.

goodnight everyone....thanks for the continued support!

WorkingIt2 on 03/14/2007:
Great day with the calories!!! You are on your feet most of the day aren't you? That burns way more calories in your day than I do at mine sitting at my desk! Have a great evening, rest well!

Donkey on 03/15/2007:
I"m glad that you're still able to check in here. Good for you for running yesterday (I'm sorry I did not comment yesterday)!! You are doing well, it seems. Keeping busy seems to agree with you :)

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 13, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points: 2...I made sure I got in 30 minutes...and I jogged for 20 of those minutes...and it was outside!!!! ahhh, spring...although it was just below 50 degrees! LOL!

calories: 1040. I ate very healthy, actually. calories are just fine for the moment! haha.


WorkingIt2 on 03/13/2007:
OH HOORAY!!! YAY! I am happy for you that you had a great day! the weather was just fantastic!

smiley2 on 03/14/2007:
I also love jogging, especially outside. I have found that depression leads me to bingeing, dont know if its the same for you..

borntocry on 03/14/2007:
Well, great! I'm glad at least one of us has gotten back on track!!

greengirl on 03/14/2007:
Well done HOP. A good day for you!!! How nice to be able to get some exercise outdoors. Make the most of the nice weather :)

hollybelle on 03/14/2007:
YEA! Good day!

tourguidebarbie on 03/14/2007:
I think this weather is helping everyone! Congrats!

horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 12, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points yesterday - 2, today - 0. I have too many things to do right now...and working out isn't one of them.... :( I wish it was!

WorkingIt, I appreciate all of the feedback and comments you have given me...they have been VERY encouraging and helpful. i do not get offended easily...and never on this site. I am open to all commentary and feedback because all of it is helpful in some way!!! That's why I joined this site.

I must have been a little depressed...my job situation and all. hopefully things will turn around soon! until then, everything's a little rocky. I spent much of the day sunday in bed. recooperating from last week! I got REALLY tired out!

last night i ended my calories at 1940. I'll have to work real hard to fix things this week!

calories today will be 1100. I was trying for 1000, but that's just not gonna work today!

thank you to EVERYONE who left a comment for me yesterday and the day before. Everything you said was extremely helpful. I may be on here less this week, as my schedule is not the most relaxed!

goodnight, all!

greengirl on 03/12/2007:
I hope things go well for you soon. You are so good about supporting everyone else, you deserve all the support you get back. Its understandable that you are a little down with your job situation, but something will come along for you soon. Keep your chin up:)

Umpqua on 03/12/2007:
I'm sorry you've been having a rough time recently, and that I haven't been able to comment on your diary as much as I'd like. Just wanted you to know I think you're doing a great job and I'm sure you'll get right back on track.

Donkey on 03/12/2007:
I hope everything is OK! I'm thinking of you! :) I know the job thing is tough. Believe me, I have been there many many times. And in dire times, too, when I really needed a job, and it didn't work out. Do not despair; it all resolves itself as long as you keep trying! You can do it!

WorkingIt2 on 03/12/2007:
Oh I am so happy to see you here again!!! (((((((((Horn)))))))))) I was so worried about you! And you sure are missed around here when you are gone! I have my fingers crossed for you!

borntocry on 03/13/2007:
Hi HoP! I'm also going to be trying to "fix things" this week. Hope we can do it! You're right, one of my reasons for wanting to binge less is that it's so hard to make up for them afterwards. For instance, by my calculations I have a 3400 calorie surplus after last weekend - it will take 11 days at 1200 calories to make up for that! It's just not worth it.

Also, another reason, for me, is concern for my health. You mentioned once that you were worried about becoming diabetic. Well, I remember now what made me think that it was happening to me. Sometimes I would get headaches after eating a huge amount (mostly carbohydrates). Also I was diagnosed with a health condition which I think gets worse when I eat huge quantities of food. That might not be the case for you, but you know it can't be good for us to do this. As we get older it will be harder and harder for our bodies to cope with this gluttony! Not to mention the fact that psychologically I feel so much better about myself when I am in control of my diet.

Well, good luck with your hectic week ahead! It's reassuring to know that we are dealing with some of the same problems. Hopefully we can overcome them together!

tourguidebarbie on 03/13/2007:
Hey you! I hope you start to feel better! Sorry that things have been so stressful for you lately, but things can only be bad for so long right? Good luck on everything!

weightlossyoyo on 03/13/2007:
Hope things get better for you! Calories were great today, you are on the right track.

horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 10, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Sunday: calories so far (11am): 1452. _____________________________________________________ WI points: none. total 4790

First edit: calories so far: 4550....that's a mistake, 4700. I forgot the yogurt. ____________________________________________________

for those of you who said, don't binge....well, i did! arg! ugh!

Breakfast: 2352 calories. this is calculated, everything was measured. It involved multitude of chocolates, nuts, powerbars, peanut butter, and cereal, yogurt, an apple, sugar free syrup, all bran, tofu, soy milk...

my goal for the day is to not go over 3350. thats about 1000 calories to spare. I have learned to realize its best not too limit myself too much the rest of the day after a binge.

justgonnadoit on 03/10/2007:
ahh the binges. Its not a question of "if" I will its when. I am hoping I dont. I am hoping I can bypass the whole B word.

But-cant beat yourself up, keep on keeeping on....one day at a time!

Happy Saturday!

WorkingIt2 on 03/10/2007:
I really like the sugar free syrup, in fact, last night I had Eggo pancakes with sugar free syrup and then some grated dark chocolate from 3 hersheys kisses and I was all set to kill off my sugar craving lol. And GREAT JOB on sticking with a 1770 calorie day with Girl Scout Cookies!! Holy smokes if I had them anywhere in the house I'd eat an entire box in one day!

Donkey on 03/10/2007:
Now how did I know that this was going to happen? Been there so many times, done that too many times. It's over; move forward. Bingeing solves nothing.

I must say, at least you choose healthy foods. It wasn't like me with the Fat Housewife attack a couple of days ago (ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, graham crackers with peanut butter - oof!).

I agree with your approach not to limit yourself on calories for the rest of the day. It just sets you up for a vicious cycle. I hope the rest of the day improves for you.

Call the school district on Monday about the job!!

borntocry on 03/10/2007:
God, that binge sounds incredible. Next time you should invite me over - we can split the food (and the calories)!!

borntocry on 03/11/2007:
Hey, I think I also have binge-eating disorder, you know. But I think there is hope for us! In the past couple of years my binges have gotten much fewer and further between. And where they were once up around 6000 calories, now they rarely go over 3000-3500 (still really high, I know - but an improvement). So hang in there - we can beat this together!

Have you heard back from the school yet? I guess not - it's Sunday! Maybe tomorrow...

WorkingIt2 on 03/11/2007:
Happy Sunday to you! I wasn't bagging on you. You had asked me specifically before for my opinion and I reached out, took a chance and gave it to you with the best of intentions in mind. You have stated a few times that you feel you have a binge disorder and that you were looking for help, and you had even researched information as to possible causes that you were thinking of going to the doctor to be tested for. If I reach out to you during the good times, I'm not going to stop reaching out when you are having bad times. By all means, continue to vent and post your personal things...pretty much all of us do =) Of course you are safe here, that is the beauty of reaching out to people from the safety of the computer =)

I am supportive of you. Very. If I didn't care, I wouldn't post in your journal! =)

****hugs**** I hope you are having a better day today and that whatever it is that you are going through, settles down soon. You are a vivacious, kind, friendly, and dedicated individual who always takes time for others and you deserve to be happy, healthy, and know you are not alone.

GG on 03/11/2007:
my goodness you must have been hungry! you know what though, i think counting calories drives everyone nuts so on the days that you go over board you shouldnt count the calories and just promise yourself to slow down and think about what you eat next time.

Runner on 03/11/2007:
One thing that helps me when I feel like bingeing is to brush my teeth...for about 3 minutes. Then the last thing I want to do is eat after my mouth is all minty fresh! :)

horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 09, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI Points: none, busy day. i could have exercised, but I chose to do some "cooking." more like just boiling shirataki noodles for future eating (and I had a couple packages tonight as well!).

Foods: sugar free syrup, apple, yogurt, tofu, egg, egg white, egg, tofu, carrot, tomato, girl scout cookies, yogurt, 100 cal balance bar, 2 pkgs kelp noodles, plum, large pickle, shirataki with spray dressing, more shirataki noodles, chicken noodle soup - a change of pace!, tostitos tortilla chips, bran with soy, cottage cheese flavored with pineapple.

total cal: 1770.

goodnight. calories could definitely have been lower, but I had the bran and cottage cheese late after rehearsal!

......no phone calls from the school district where i interviewed...definitely beginning to think that its a no-go. at least i know i did very well!!! :)

update on calories later.

Donkey on 03/09/2007:
You should have called this afternoon. But no matter, you can call on Monday or Tuesday. Call and say you are calling to see if they have selected a candidate for the position of <whatever>. Until then, there is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well put it behind you and try to forget about it. (Don't EAT because it weighs heavily on your mind!!!)

Every interview you go on is a success, because you learn so much about the process and about yourself. It is great practice for the next time. I know that it usually takes me 3 or 4 job interviews before I do well and get offered a job.

monet0239 on 03/09/2007:
Hang in there toots.. if you dont get this one.. a better one will come along..:).. have faith !.. hugs

leeumom on 03/10/2007:
Keep up the good work. Sometimes it takes a week to get back to you. At that time, I would call to just follow up to see if they'd made a decision yet. They owe you that much, as you took your time to do the interview.

WorkingIt2 on 03/12/2007:
((((((Horn)))))))))) Just wanted to let you know I was thinkin' about you today and wishing you the best!

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