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innerpeace - Thursday Apr 18, 2002

Weight: 255.0

Good morning all. Last night I struggled to mow the yard. It has been raining so much here lately it just grows and grows. it stays wet so it makes it very difficult to mow, but I mowed it anyway and the mower would stop every few minutes. It is supposed to rain all weekend long and I know it would add another foot or so of height if I didn't get it cut. My son was kind enough to help.

My hands are swollen today. I can't figure out if it's because I have been working with them or water retention, maybe a little bit of both.

My son is still going to Texas after school is out. Not much as been said about whether or not he is going to stay there and start school. I guess I will just have to wait and see if he likes it there.

Can someone please tell me how to get to where the pictures are. I have a few to add, but I can't remember how to get there.

BandMom on 04/18/2002:
send a note to Dvdmon. He has the site for the pictures. It http://www20.brinkster.com/dietdiaries/ I have send picture to him and there are not on yet. he has been busy. I hope this helps. BandMom

MichelleP on 04/18/2002:

Hope the swelling gets down soon. Maybe its alot of things. Take care and have a wonderful night!

innerpeace - Wednesday Apr 17, 2002

Weight: 255.0

I am finally on a routine I can deal with and maybe get some exercise in. I had a long, hard weekend doing the drill thing. We went out east to Camp Gruber and played in the field. We had to put up lots and lots of tents and camouflage nets. If you don't bring "pogey bait" (snacks & stuff) of your own, you will be stuck eating the prepackaged MREs. Just one has over 2700 calories, that is quite a few when you want to lose some poundage.

Last night was the last night of this Humanities class. I had to turn in my research paper and my group had to put on our 30 minute presentation. It only lasted 20 minutes. If we were docked for time, the instructor didn't say, there were a few groups that took over 40 minutes, there presentation was boring to say the least, it was hard to keep from falling asleep.

I hope everyone has a great day, and if things continue like they are I will be able to post more often, instead of just read.

CharlieAngel on 04/17/2002:
You sound a bit more enthusiastic. Hope you get a great grade in your class. You sure have a lot going on! What's new with your son and the summer vacation situation? Have a great day! Love ya, Charlotte

MichelleP on 04/17/2002:

Mre's that just sounds icky! LOL my brother is a cook in the Army and keeps saying they are not that bad.... oh sure! LOL Take care and have a great night!

Crittermama on 04/17/2002:
MREs!! With a husband in the Army I've tried a few of those! He says they have 3000 calories if you eat everything. He collects the tabasco sauce! We have always have MREs in the house somewhere, especially after he comes back from AT or something. ICKY!! The boys like some of the stuff so if I see one open I might give them whatever they like out of it.

innerpeace - Thursday Apr 04, 2002

Weight: 255.0

Total pity party to follow. I am struggling with school, I never dreamed it would be this hard. I still haven't started on my paper and it is due April 16th. I have gained a few pounds, so I have been hard on myself.

My son has decided to go to El Paso, Texas (his dad is stationed at Fort Bliss) for the summer. He said he wanted to go and visit his dad before he left in June/July to go to Saudi Arabia. I asked if he was coming back, he said he wanted to check out the schools there. That is fine, however, I asked him why he would want to stay with the Stepmon instead of coming back to me. He had no answer. I know my ex told him he had a car for him there and I think that was a big part of luring him down there. I also didn't want my ex to tell him, "you're man of the house now, take care of things while I'm gone". I want my son to have fun with his life and not have to be concerned with worrying about his step-brother and half sister. My son will be 16 and the others are 9 & 3. I guess I'm just being selfish and my son is old enough to make up his own mind, but it's just hard knowing I probably won't get to see him for a long time.

I visited my sister who is skinny has a rail and does not work and has no care in the world about how the bills will be paid. I was actually envious and wish I could be like her, especially when she doesn't work. All she cares about his finding her next boyfriend, her next beer and cigarette. However, I don't want to worry about not have electricity for heat or water to bathe either, and those things aren't high on her priority list.

Well, I only have a little over two months to get my brain in serious mode to try to take some of this weight off, before annual training. It was awful trying to shave my legs last night in the tub, I found myself trying to be an amateur contortionist. It was so hard trying to maneuver my bulk around to make sure I had a complete shave.

I did go walk for 3 miles, however, my girlfried was with me and we didn't go that fast, because we were talking. I'll up the speed and maybe that will help. The weather is getting warmer so maybe I'll be able to get up in the mornings and go for a walk.

I hope everyone has a great day.

pastagal on 04/04/2002:
Just take things one day at a time and you can do it,,,it takes time and Consistence but there is light at the end of the tunnel:}} hope you have a better day:}

CharlieAngel on 04/04/2002:
I bet your son will change his mind about staying when he has to babysit the younger steps and has to help out with mowing the yard and all that stuff, he will be chomping at the bit to come home! And, yeah for you in going for that walk. Every little bit helps. I wanted to share with you that even though I am only 35 pounds lighter than you I have found that each pound lost makes life so much easier. I can bend over to tie my shoes, I can shave my legs without doing a circus routine! I am sending many positive vibes your way! YOU CAN DO THIS! Love, Charlotte

MichelleP on 04/04/2002:
Hi Inner,

You have alot on your plate right now. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. My husbands best friend is going through something just like this. It tore him apart, but the good news is... both his children are coming home to live in May. I am planning a big welcome home party for them. Please be strong, vent here , email me, if you ever want a shoulder to lean on! Take care and have a good day ( at least try to) HUGS!

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 14, 2002

Weight: 243.0

I have started out pretty slow today. I had two slices of bacon and one piece of French toast for breakfast. I can't seem to get motivated. They ordered pizza for lunch, they are sitting in front of the TV waiting for the basketball tournaments to start. What a great party weekend, drinking and eating and eating and drinking. To bad I don't partake of drinking, but I can get my eat ON. That's what I could do, but I'll just do the usual. Clean house and do laundry, and watch the basketball.

Next week is spring break, I will take 2 1/2 days of vacation to get a good start on my ten page paper for school, who knows I may go ahead and check out my gym during the day, when not so many people are there. I will continue to walk.

Thanks Charlotte for your kind words, I was once a member of weight watchers. I have all the point books and little black purse thing, but I couldn't motivate myself enough to continue with the meetings. Maybe I'll look into starting back. They say it is open house month and I could attend for free, but I can't find a convenient time to attend. Our security is still high at the bank (Federal Reserve) and we can't organize a meeting here. I'm thinking, it all depends in how bad you want something.

RareDiamond on 03/15/2002:
Just stop in to say hello.

innerpeace - Wednesday Mar 13, 2002

Weight: 243.0

I made it through the dreadful weekend. Actually it wasn't so bad, it never is, but it was cold. So very, very cold. And it always seems to fall on a weekend I want to do something. But now that is is over I can get on with other things.

Monday I didn't go to work, because I had to prepare for my oral presentation for class. Egads, what an ordeal. I will never be able to speak in public, I was so nervous and I could hear my voice shake all over the place. I even practiced in front of my son. He kept interupting me and asking questions, he got a big kick out of torturing me.

Last night we stopped at Mom's house and picked up the NCAA basketball tournament brackets to turn in before the games start. I think the grand prize is a t-shirt, nothing big, but it will still be a hoot to win. She asked me if I wanted a meatloaf sandwhich (I love me mom's meatloaf) but I turned her down, telling her I was starting to watch what I eat, to lose weight before summer camp. My son even said he would help me.

We stayed up until midnight last night trying to figure out his Algebra homework, we didn't do so well. After work, I am going to the park and do my 2 mile walk, it is great weather and it is never to early to get started and then I'm headed to the library to do some research for class and our group presentation.

For breakfast I had a banana and a diet coke. Lunch was a small bowl of chicken tortilla soup and a small chicken breast and a glass of ice cold water. I'm slowly trying to get away from drinking caffeine, since that does figure into dehydration and I don't need that getting ready for summer camp, so I'll just drink water.

hope you all have a great day. Jo Ann

Crittermama on 03/13/2002:
Caffine is also a body stressor that can cause fat storage, especially from cola so giving it up is a good thing. Slowly is good too. I'm sure that will reduce the withdrawals. Good luck and God bless.

CharlieAngel on 03/13/2002:
Hey girlfriend! Glad you made it through the weekend. Just thought that I would share with you that a bunch of the active duty military girls have joined my Weight Watcher's lunch time meeting. I am really having success with this. Not that I am trying to get you to join but I find this program gives me remarkable freedom. I know that I can eat WHATEVER I WANT! Just have to count the points. And as the weeks pass I have found more and more foods that are low points. I found that the Blue Bunny ice cream bars are totally satisfying. They are 1 point. The fudgesicle is creamy and delicious. Just really wanted to stop by and lend some support. I really admire you for all that you do, going to school, doing the reserves, being a single mom! You rock! Hope you have a totally blessed day. Love ya, Charlotte

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 07, 2002

Weight: 243.0

Finally I make my way back to the diaries. I have been recovering from two fractured ribs. Very painful, it hurt to sit, lie, stand, you name it, I was in constant pain and I didn't want to move. I went to the doctor three times and he never bothered to take a chest x-ray. Quack. I finally went for a second opinion and demanded an x-ray and sure enough I had to fractured ribs. Not that they could do anything but prescribe pain medication, but at least I knew why I couldn't get around.

I have been very busy with school and have a hard time managing work, school and eating. I have been skipping meals and eating on the go, which I know is a bad no, no. I haven't gained any, but I haven't really done anything to lose either. This weekend I have a three day training with the National Guard, so when I return on Monday, I will get started again. I can't tell you how many times I said that, but hopefully I won't be slowed down by injuries received from just coughing.

I'm glad Rader finally checked back in and Charlotte is staying strong. I admire her so. Take care and I'll be back soon. Jo Ann

Crittermama on 03/07/2002:
I'm sorry to hear about your ribs. Ouch!! My husband will be with the National Guard this weekend, too, but only 2 days. I'll get to see him next weekend. I admire Charlotte, too. I think she is great and a very strong woman to do what she has to do. God bless.

iruka_insei on 03/08/2002:
Hey,hope you feel better and good luck with training!

innerpeace - Thursday Feb 14, 2002

Weight: 0.0

innerpeace - Wednesday Feb 13, 2002

Weight: 243.0

My how time does fly. I can't believe it is the middle of February all ready and I have done nothing to show for it. Just think if I would have started my diet and stuck to it I would be down at least 20 pounds by now. I must tell you last night I went through a full circle of emotions.

I cried watching the olympics when a piece was shown on Picabo Street about all the obstacles that she over came and how she has this big huge scar on her leg and she went through all this therapy just so she could ski again. I'm thinking to myself I wish I cared that much about losing weight and then I wouldn't have any trouble at all. In the end she didn't win what she wanted, but she did compete.

I laughed when I was surfing the internet to find out ways to learn how to start a running program. One thing I found said just this:

1. bend down and tie your shoes 2. get off the couch 3. open the door 4. walk down the sidewalk 5. decide which direction to go 6. start running

Yeah, I wish it was that easy. I had one physical fitness trainer tell me that muscles have memory, well mine must have amnesia because they sure have no recollection of when I ran 7.3 miles a day.

So to go along with the Olympics motto - Light the fire inside. That is what I'm going to do. I'm still recovering over my last sick episode, still have a nagging cough and I just know that will impede my breathing, but it's now or never and I don't want to be fat on my 35th birthday, coming in July.

I hope you have a great day and remember--light that fire inside!!

CharlieAngel on 02/13/2002:
You are on the right track. Lighting the fire within is the way to go. I think that most of us want to reach some state of perfect timing and so we put it off...make excuses and don't get with the program. I, myself, have taken the NIKE MOM approach to this whole thing. Every day I tell myself JUST DO IT!!! Put one foot in front of the other and go. I am here rooting for you. HAVE A GREAT DAY AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF! Charlotte

BountifulBren on 02/13/2002:
You crack me up! Muscles with amnesia! Well, give 'em a good thump, isn't that how they always recover in the movies...someone bonks their head? And I get the whole 35 thing, I'm currently 35 and for some reason it feels like if I don't at least get started on a healthy lifestyle at this age...I never will. So, here's to us and our lit fires!

RareDiamond on 02/13/2002:
Here's to lighting the Fire Inner Peace! I know that you can do it.

innerpeace - Wednesday Feb 06, 2002

Weight: 243.0

Went to the doctor again, I'm convinced he's a quack. He gave me a breathing treatment and some narcotic cough syrup. I took some last night and I did get a good night's sleep, but my body didn't understand it was only for night, because I nodded off the entire day at work. I would be reading the monitor or something on it and I would just wake up about 3-5 minutes later. Could become an embarrassing situation, if someone happened upon me. Thank Goodness it didn't.

I am loosing weight though, the nurse weighs me each time I go in, let me tell you not the best weigh (a little pun) to do it. I know now why drugs never appealed to me. I would rather be sick than feel the way I felt today. My cough was better today, so maybe it is helping.

I didn't want breakfast this morning. I ate a half of club sandwhich for lunch and some water. I can't even think about dinner. Things can only get better.

Hope every one is having a great week.

SOU812? on 02/06/2002:
Hey, ship me some of that! :0) I just about nod off every day at my job and I don't take anything! It's called boredom!! I sit and the only exercise I get is moving the mouse which is giving me carpal tunnel syndrome! I hope you feel better! Take care, Kelly

innerpeace - Monday Feb 04, 2002

Weight: 243.0

I am still sick. I have been to the doctor twice and he has given me a ton of meds, but nothing has seemed to help. I have a cough I just cannot get rid of. I cough so much my entire body hurts and I swear there is something lodged in my throat. This has taken a toll on my eating, which would be good at any other time, but I'm lucky if I eat anything at all. Saturday my son had company over and I did not feel like cooking, so I go them McDonalds take out. I had a sausage biscuit, or I should say half, because I didn't eat it all. For dinner I had a few Pepperidge farm goldfish. Sunday, I tried to eat a bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal, and for dinner I had a half turkey and swiss sandwich. I haven't been drinking my water which I'm trying to do today.

I have drill this weekend, which will not help matters any, especially if I have to spend it all outside again.

I hope you all had a great weekend.

shellybelly on 02/04/2002:
Just wanted to say hey and hope you feel better!!

callysto on 02/04/2002:
hope you get better! that oatmeal sounds sounds good right now :) Kim

Soon2BThin on 02/04/2002:
Sorry you're feeling so bad. There's a lot of bad stuff going around this year, it seems. Hope you feel better soon.

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