So I spent $90 getting my gray hair covered up and cut. However, this morning I can feel it changing back to gray. I will say this without feeling bad! I hate kids!

The YA is mad at us for making his little sister cry. Whatever! I emailed him and told him why she was crying. Not that I will miss him coming over, but I thought he should know it was nothing we did. Maybe he should be mad at his mom for helping her lie.

We had left over salisbury steak and cabbage for dinner. It was just ok.

B: english muffien, almond butter, iced vnailla latte (only 2 more left)

L: left over pot pie; yogurt, blackberries

S: balanced breaks

D: should be ham & cheese monte cristo again - depends on if DH got the ingredients.

Not a happy camper today about the kids. Will probably deal with that lt later today.

Friday the girl text me at 6:30 telling me she wasn't going to school, because her mother had a mild heart attack and was getting a stent put in. Her grandma already called her off. I tell her I'm sorry to hear about your mom, however, if you still want to go to school, let me know and i will come and take you. She said NO. Of course she did.  So all day I'm asking myself what is she doing to help her mother? absolutely nothing! She missed school because her grandma didn't want to take her.

I went to get my gray covered up and get my hair cut and then DH and I went to do some Chrsimtas shopping. We ended up eating a late lunch at a pub. I had a pulled pork sandwich. We got the girl a sandwich for dinner. We ordered her a cookie bouquet for her birthday. We picked her up and went home. She ate and we just messed around the rest of the night.

Saturday when DH gets home, we go to a few craft shows and didn't really buy anything. At one craft show they gave us a raffle ticket and instead of looking at what was for sale I was more interested to see if my raffle ticket was at any of the vendor tables...it wasn't.

We get home and I make a chicken pot pie that turned out fabulously! I should have taken a picture of it...not sure why I stopped that, but I will start again. DH went to bed and the girl talked. I watched football and she played and talked. She complained about her phone for two days.

Sunday the girl and DH go grocery shopping, I do laundry. I even broke down and did the girls. I told her "thank you" goes a long way. DH and I decided to let her use his old Iphone 5 so she would stop complaining about her phone. I told her we are not paying for something that she would be restricted from using to talk to her dad by her mother and step-dad. she understands and said she would use it just on Wi-FI then. DH made salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and salad.

I didn't eat a lot over the weekend, but I did not eat the right foods either, so I ended up gaining 2.8 pounds. I will get this back off.

Work will be crazy the next week or so, we have a safety compliance audit and annual inventory that I will be deeply involved in, not to meniton my regular duties.

I will get back on track...

And as far as I'm concerned....Thanksgiving still comes, Kayla Birthday comes and then I'll worry about Christmas.

Have a great night! IP

DH made a fantastic apricot roasted chicken for dinner, even the girl ate it. Speaking of the girl. She was a bit standoffish, which I'm OK with. As I watched her squirm around and fume and sigh and mumble trying to do her homework, I offered to help and she kinda thawed out. We hung out with DH and then she and I left to go to a craft class at the library. She painted light switch plates for her room; I sent postcards. Her mother picked her up at the library.

I'm glad to be off work tomorrow; just feel really tired and run down. DH and I have planned some Christmas shopping tomorrow and then we have the girl this weekend. I also got tickets to see Radium Girls - a play about girls who painted watch dials to glow with radium and then got sick doing their job. Well if we don't like it, we can always leave early.

Saturday we are going to a craft show and that is about it. There is a hike on the calendar but BCGG's weather is supposed to move in sometime this weekend. I'm ready for it!

B: oatmeal scone; iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: sandwhich with baked chicken

S: balanced breaks

D: I'm not sure - I think I had chicken and dumplings but I think DH has been making whatever he wants.

So, I will try to take a few minutes to post over the weekend.

Have a great Thursday!

The first 82 days of my telemove session ended Monday. The 2nd one started yesterday. I lost about 18 pounds. My goal was to get to 299 so I can hopefully get that done in the next 82 days. I still feel I haven't given it my best effort. This I will have to work on.

Still feeling blue, not sure why, I can't change the how other people act, just my reactions to it...so I will work on this. My DH got p!ssy because I told him I didn't think he was telling me was funny and he was just laughing like no tomorrow - must be male humor or something.

Work is crazy with a tornado outbreak Sunday - people are still scrambling around.

B: oatmeal scone, vanilla iced latte

L: left over mac& cheese; yogurt

S: balanced breaks

D: not sure some kind of chicken

We have the girl tonight - we are going to the library for a craft thing, her mom is supposed to pick her up there.

Will continue to work on myself. Take care ladies. iP

Saturday - I tried to get up but OMG i was just so tired. When DH got home we went on a few errands. We were going to a Holiday craft show but it was only on Friday. So we just drove around and ran into a local butcher block. They cook gourmet sausages from noon-4 with the hopes of getting people to buy there sausage. It works.

We sampled about six different sausages, four of them were just ok, very spicey. Two we bought - a maple bacon sausage and another type of sausage with herbs that tasted nice.

Then we DH finally realized where we were we stopped at a Spudnut Doughnut shop. They use a potatoe flour to make their doughnuts. They were delicious. We bought 1/2 dozen and took them home. Not that we needed them, but they were so good.

Once we got home, we mowed the front and back yard - hopefully for the last time. I have never had to mow grass in the month of November...ever!

DH went to bed and I settled in for FOOTBALL! Sooners had me on the edge of my seat, but they pulled out the victory.

Had almost 2375 calories - stupid doughnuts!

SUNDAY - again - tried to sleep with the time change - slept better but didn't seem to get enough. DH got home and we went shopping. I prefer to let him and the girl do it, but I decided to go a long. - walked a lot

B: English muffin

L: Slice of pizza

D: bacon, mac & cheese and cabbage

Laundry - without the girls - I seemed to finish 2 hours early, but maybe because I started sooner.

MONDAY - I was wide awake at 3:00, I finally got back to sleep and was up at 5:00. I opted not to exercise instead took an extra long shower and then I meditated. This was wonderful and may do this again.

Once I got to work DH texted me to tell me the YA did in fact trade the car off, so I called the insurance agent and canceled the insurance. I am not paying for a car he doesn't have any more. Saves me $125 a month. And that ungrateful thing can deal with his own insurance...and car payment. He still owes me $250 - I doubt I will ever see this. I was just going to give him the payment book for Christmas so I will just be out $100. He's a rat/snake/whatever!

Other than that - my office has been extremely busy, apparently there was bad weather I was not aware of....and they have been out doing storm surveys all day along with the media calls - the office as been quite more busy than usual.

B: english muffin w/almond butter; iced vanilla latte

L: left over mac n cheese

S: yogurt, blueberries morning - balanced breaks AM

D: I think London broil and roasted vegetables - depends on what time DH gets back from his doctor's appointment.

I can't wait until Friday - day off!

Nervous, anxiety, bufferflies I was so keyed up over seeing the girl again I made myself sick and gave myself a tension headache.

But the confrontation happened - I was calm, layed out the facts, reiterated the rules and applied the punishment. We even had role play in case similar situations arise. Either way, the lying and scheming to get her way will not be tolerated. I also told her I didn't appreciate the YA's GF texting me about the situation, especially when she didn't know the entire story. And she will tell her about it when/if the three of us are in the same room. I told her whether she chooses to lie or tell the truth, that my love for her doesn't change, just how we get along.

Afterwords, I couldn't eat dinner and just tried to relax. The girl went to take a shower. DH went to check on her and she was bawling. I'm glad. She said she lost her best friend and DH told her, you can't hurt people like you did. Anyway, I did feel better and took some Aleve and 1/2 a muscle relaxer. That was a big mistake.

I wouldn't let DH got to bed until she left, I am still not in a position to take care of her on my own for now - I'm just really disappointed and upset with her.

Dinner - I told DH to only use one can of canned tomatoes - well he should have used the two called for because it was thick and kinda nasty. I ate half a bowl.

I over slept big time this morning - didn't wake up until 6:15 ACK - can't be doing this! Well I won't be doing the muscle relaxer again...but I did sleep great.

Meeting at work today - who holds staff meetings on Friday? I want to get out of here. No big plans this weekend. DH and I may go to a Christmas craft show and the Big Lots has a grand opening so we may just shop around. I do want to see a movie and of course its the weekend and there is always FOOTBALL!

B: toast; iced vanilla latte

L: left over ravioli, yogurt, blueberries

S: balanced breaks

I still am on the TeleMove program and my care coordinator called me yesterday, just told him  I was having issues getting motivated with my activity, but other than that I am still within the 3-8 pounds per month so I'm good.

Have a great weekend. IP

DH misread the menu and made  black bean burgers for dinner  (that was lunch for today) instead of the rotisseri chicken. That's ok, the black bean burger was ok.

We walked the dog, I did jog a little and I didn't hurt anywhere, so I may get back into this - of course depends on the weather, always.

sick is the only way I can describe today.

B: english muffin; iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: ham and cheese panini - scalded my mouth on this wow who knew 45 seconds could get something so hot

S: balanced breaks

D: ravioli, spinach and cream cheese crock pot stew

Have a great night. IP

I appreciate all your comments about my current situation - I'm just glad I can get this all off my chest here. I have made an appointment with a fmaily therapist as well. I have been reading a lot and learning a lot and talked and talked and cried lots of tears. I even told my DH that I felt so hurt that this is worse than my divorce. At least when my exhusband broke my heart I left and didn't have to still see him and deal with him ever again.

Things are tough for that girl - I know her mother and step-father have restrictions on what she can and can't do with her phone and facebook. They have even blocked DH from her phone and he cannot even text or talk to her with messenger or anything - I guess maybe we should have blocked her from talking to her mother but I'm just not like that...yet. I just still can't believe the mother condones this and actually helped her - if my kid even asked me to do something like this - I would have such a different approach - I would not help them deceive someone deliberately.

anyway - I walked my dog before trick or treaters and then couldn't bring myself to pass out candy. I don't even think there were a lot because Steve didn't bark too much at all. Both DH and I ate a few pieces but I brough the rest of the candy to work for these crazies to eat. I did make some scones for breakfast that turned out amazing.

B: oatmeal scone - iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: naan bread, left over steak

S: balanced breaks

D: scheduled is rotisserie chicken, but I can't say if DH thawed the chicken yet or not - this may change

I over slept big time this morning, I turned the 5:00 am alarm off and didn't wake back up until 6:37 - no shower this a.m. and I'm feeling it now. - just feel dirty, face feels greasy, hair is limp and yuck - I surely miss my morning shower.

Have been changing my files over at work for the new fiscal year and shredding old stuff so have been keeping pretty busy..

Still expecting a text from girl's mother saying she is sick or has something to do tomorrow. I will be very surprised if she faces the music tomorrow.

No plans tonight - may take a nap

Have a good night.

I get home and DH was very upset the whole day. I can't discribe how hurtful this is to us. We go out of our way to teach responsibility, respect and decency and to have all that thrown in our face is just so, so very sad to me. It is hard not to feel hurt.

If the girl does come over on Thursday we are going to have a long talk with her. I have even written notes because I want her to understand how her actions affect people...and for what...just for some candy! My first order of business is the definition of these words: LIE, SCHEME, BACKSTAB, TAKE ADVANTAGE, DECEPTION, USER, PLAYER, DISRESPECT - because apparently she does not know what they mean  she is going to learn.

I have also noticed a pattern of how she is. If she is telling a story it is always someone eles's fault. Her step-sister did it, her cousin did it, someone at school did it - she never does anything, she is little miss innoscent and never does anything - well she has no one to blame for this misgiving - unless she is going to blame her mother?

We will see

DH still had his PJs on when I got home, but he made us cranberry turkey burgers for dinner. They were pretty good, tasted like Thanksgiving in a burger.

We sat in silence for about two hours - finally I said - how are we going to handle this? We have talked about it and came up with a plan, so again, if she does come over on Thursday we are prepared.

We also broke open the bag of trick or treat candy. I wish a freaking blizzard would show up about 5:00 pm, but I doubt that would happen.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

L: 1/2 ham sandwich, yogurt, blueberries

S: balanced breaks

D: supposed to be beef and noodles, but the girl was supposed to be over, so I'm not sure what DH is going to cook. We would try to normally have something the girl would eat, but why bother now?

So if you are trick or treating - stay safe out there!

IP

So the good news is....I lost weight. I'm pleased. but really can't enjoy it.

Friday

B: English mufifn, iced vanilla latte

L: Cheese sandwich; apple

D: chicken brocoli crescent ring

Saturday:

B: toast, peanute butter - iced vanilla latte

L: chicken quesadilla

D: turkey burger with sweet potato fries

S: banana, peanut butter smothie

Sunday:

B: English muffin; iced vanilla latte

L: Sam's hot dog

D: chicken, salad, rice...bile

However, I had the worst Sunday ever! I just need to vent. Drama overload - it has made me sick.

It is hard to describe people's actions. But for the last four years, I have experienced it. For instance the girl will be over and mention something. I let it go. This could be a new hoodie, a new toy, a new CD or something she wants. I never ask for more informaiton, I never dig to see what's she's after. It was deep down in my heart of hearts, I would hope her mother or step-dad would get it for her. Never happened.

Anway, in the beginning of October she has said she wanted to be a unicorn for Halloween. DH is kinda like, whatever, you need to wear the Cheshire Cat costume I bought you last year. She replies I don't want that. Anyway, another week goes by and she is still talking about being a unicorn. I ask is your mom buying the costume. Her reply. I don't know. Maybe I can do something around her for money. - yeah whatever. And all during this time the YA and GF are saying they are coming over to trick or treat with her. OK great - I hate trick or treating anyway.

Anyway, of course we break down and buy the unicorn costume, well because she is at our house for Halloween. Now whatever happened between Wednesday last week to Sunday at 5.00 I will never know. But I did what I do on Sunday, which is wash clothes. I asked her if she needed the clothes done before she left, her reply - yes they are school clothes. So I of course start laundry to get this girl her clothes. Anyway, she managed to p!ss me off during dinner. We were eating and the dryer timer goes off and I'm like OK OK i'll be down after dinner.

She made some kind of smart comment, like I would never fold clothes. I"m like what? you can fold you own clothes. She said I will hang them. I said, yeah well you can wash them too. She says, I don't know how to use the washer. I'm like, sure you do I've shown you two other times, you prefer not to remember. It's not EFFing calculus and you are not stupid, I'm sure you can figure it out. You just don't freaking want to remember, you can remember what I said about a swimming pool 2 freaking years ago, but you can't remember how to turn a knob on a washing machine  these something wrong with this picture. You just keep your nasty clothes at your mom's house - maybe she'll get to them when she feel like it.

So after dinner, she went upstairs and was texting her mom and believe it or not the nasty YA's GF and apparently they all decided Saturday that she was to stay at her mom's for Halloween. Now let me put this out here...I DO NOT AND DID NOT CARE ANYTHING ABOUT TRICK OR TREATING!! or where the h$ll this girl did it.

But it just so happend that I get a text from her mother, asking if she could stay over there because they get good candy and she wanted to learn the new neighborhood (they moved over the summer). I'm freakin' flabberghasted. My reply was I don't care where she trick or treats, because god knows she needs all the good candy she can get. Of course I'm being facetious, this girl weighs over 200 pounds and does not need cancy at ALL.

The mother says thanks!

So the girl comes down stairs and DH asked her, does she want to stay at her mom's for Halloween, she says, i don't know. AND THIS P!SSES ME OFF even more. I said your mom just texted and said that you wanted to stay over there, do you or don't you. And then she puts her head down and says, I don't know. WTF!! I just say, you know what, go get your Sh!t and just go.

So when DH goes to be he finds a note on the bed. The note with $10.00 and says here is the money (that she earned for her grades) and she don't deserve it. (OK this is an agreement she has between her and her dad - she gets $20 for every A - she had one A so DH gives her $10 and we deposit the other $10 in her savngs account) She says I feel I cause so much drama and if you don't want me over here, please just tell me)!!

Seriously so now this is my fault!!

SO after reading the note:  I send the girl an IM telling her, she started the drama, all she had to do is say, you know dad, I would like to trick or treat at mom's! That would have been it, it would have been over and done. But instead of doing that she wanted to lie and scheme and plan stuff and then act like a victim. I told her the money was her's that she had earned it, and that she was always, always welcome at our house.

That we always treated her good and I felt really hurt and lied to about the whole trick or treating thing. I told her to have fun and be safe.

 And then I get a text from the YA nasty GF telling me that she the girl didn't lie and I was really really rude.

I get the girls Ipad and she should have logged out of facebook, because the whole chat session is between the three of them. the GF and mother telling her how to go about it, she says she is scared to talk to her dad...again WTF!! so she asked her mom to text me, and ask me if she could stay home - and the mom says, OK but you have to say you want too. And all this started Saturday night.

Seriously!!!

I cannot tell you all the crap I've put up with that girl for the last four years!! I am so hurt and feel so played and used and OMG trying to be with my DH right now is just awful.

I couldn't sleep all night and OMG my back is killing me and I cannot tell you how much I hate, hate my life right now! It's like you try and try and whatever you do, is just never really good enough

You help and try to get them to do the right things but still all they want to do is cheat and lie and go the easy road and never try anything hard, or exert any effort into living.

I'm just so tired and fed up with everything. My DH is miserable because he don't want to lose his kids...because even the YA don't come around anymore because he doesn't want to hear about going back to school and or getting a job. He'd rather sit around and work 2 hours a day for the $30-40 he can make. He'd rather go to a food bank than actually work and make money to buy his own food. And his nasty GF too...now this little heifer is biting off something she don't even know the whole story about.