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innerpeace - Wednesday Dec 19, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Talked to son last night, he is not coming up so sadness!

So I talked to DH and though he can't get off work, I am still driving to Georgia, the girl asked her mom and she will be coming along as well. It will be a quick trip - down on  Thursday 12/27 and back on Saturday 12/29. The girl has to be back at her Mom's Sunday by 6:00 pm.

At the store i was tempted to buy something already prepared from the deli, but the girl reminded me about her chicken alfredo, so ok. I made that...and the banana budding, cleaned up the kitchen. Didn't eat the banana pudding but had golden oreos instead. It is official, just reconfirming...I CANNOT have this stuff in the house. It is better to deprive than to binge.

Wednesday oh Wednesday - stuck in a traffic jam getting to work, was about 25 minutes late.

And then I get a call from the VA...I have to have another mammogram, new calcification is showing up and they need to examine it closer. OK, but not what I needed to hear this morning.

B: frittata, iced vanilla latte

L: stuff at work


HOpefully things will get better as the day passes. Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/19/2018:
Calcifications are common........I have them too...and I'm still around after all these years.....Personally I'm more afraid of the x rays than I am of the calcifications.....How nice that the girl can go on the trip with you.....

graindart on 12/19/2018:
I have to keep as much junk as possible out of the house. If it enters the house and I see it in the pantry or elsewhere, all I do is think about it until I finally give in and eat it. When it's not in the house, I'm usually fine.

As long as it's not in the house even if I have a craving, I really don't want to get dressed to go to a store, drive there, shop, and go home again. So my laziness overrides the craving on most occasions.

horn_of_plenty on 12/19/2018:
wait! doesn't deprivation lead to binge? oh....i got you! if you don't have them in the house, you won't binge. yup :)

maybe you can buy some fresh fruit to enjoy at home? with some herbal tea? do you like that?? :) have a good eve, InnerP!

Donkey on 12/20/2018:
I've been in your shoes: somethings I just cannot have in the house or they will be gone. This year, I've been able to temper/moderate this a bit, so there is hope that it doesn't always have to be like that. But ya know what? If it has to be like that, then so be it. And I can completely understand how golden Oreos would fall into that category!

innerpeace - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Left work and went to the mammogram appointment. It is never as bad as I make it out to be, it's just the hassle. I don't know if this is more uncomfortable for smaller breasted women, but I just don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable having others (uninvited) manipulate my breasts, and then slap my hand away when I'm only trying to help move or posiition it where they want it to be. Torturous procedure. So I stand there, lean in, lift up, shoulder back, chin up, hold my breath, whatever is needed and I even said thank you!

Get home and took a 45 minute nap, which turned out to be a mistake come bedtime. I don't think I got to sleep until after 1:10 - that was the last time I looked at the clock.

Cooked some potatoe roll, however, the potatoes stuck to the baking sheet so it turned out to be more of a potatoe scramble with spinach and creamcheese and ground beef and it was ugly. It tasted better than it looked.

Today I get the girl, we have to stop by the store and get bananas for the pudding I am making for the Christmas Luncheon at work tomorrow. Told the girl I would make her chicken and brocolli alfredo, as this is what she wants.

Haven't heard if my son will make it up or not, however, if he doesn't, I have already planned to drive to Georgia and drop his Christmas off, the girl will probably come with me and we will just make it a road tirp. I won't have to be back to work until 1/2/19.

B: fritatta, french vanilla latte

L: leftover potato, spinach roll

S: balanced breaks

D: grilled chicken alfreado with brocolli

Day 26 of no pop, so I can stick to something, now just to incorporate this practice into other things.

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Congrats on the loss!!! And on staying away from the pop!!!

Donkey on 12/18/2018:
Wow, I had no idea you were working on a no-pop streak -- way to go!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2018:
lol i'm sure MANY women feel just like you do...and in a few more years i'll have the "pleasure" of experiencing a mammagram too! on a brighter note, you will not need to do it again for a year? so that's good.

ohhh...so you like to make banana pudding dessert too? my coworker loves to make this! her sons love it too and she once made it for the office. it's so tasty!

that's nice to make what she wants sometimes :) also, will she be making the banana pudding with you?

that's so nice the girl may come for the road trip! at her young age, it's a nice experience! maybe you can stop somewhere to walk around / outlets / park / experience ...or maybe there may not be time i realize! either way, i'm glad she's joining.!

GREAT JOB ON NO POP!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

i had an egg omelette today with turkey and it was such a great change of pace!!!!!! i thought of it when i saw you had a frittata!

graindart on 12/18/2018:
'nana puddin' is one of my favorites. Like mine with some crumbled pie crust or nilla wafers.

Good job on the pop. That would be one of the hardest things for me to give up right now.

innerpeace - Monday Dec 17, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Had a pretty good weekend.

Up early Saturday, started wrapping presents, but soon stopped...just because. Watched sappy Christmas movies. Showered, dressed and went to DH's work party. It was ok, we had fun. I was really amazed at all the young people at this party, though we weren't the oldest, we were on the old end of the minority. DH did win a golf gift basket that he has no idea what to do with. He said I could give it to my boss.

Dinner there was roast beef, salad, spoonful of chicken alfredo, mashed potatos and then cheese cake for dessert. It was all descent.

Just listening to DH talk to his work people was interesting.

The girl was at her grandma's house while we were at the party so we stopped and picked her up on the way home. We got home about 11:30 pm. In bed by 12:30.

Sunday finally finished wrapping the presents and did the laundry. B: fritatta, L: beer brat D: pork chop, baked potato, salad

The girl didn't want to go home, so she asked if she could stay and have DH take her to school this morning. I told her that would be ok. Then she told me she was going to tell her mom that she had an appointment. I told her not to lie. To just tell her the truth that she wanted to stay, it would be best for everyone involved to NOT lie about anything. She said, mom lies to me all the time. I told her to be the better person and if she started to lie now she would get into the habit and that isn't good for anyone in the end.

She asked her mom if she could stay and the mom said...NO. So now the girl is upset and sad that she can't stay. I just don't understand the mom and her thinking process. I say this because when my son was this age, he opted to go live with his dad. Of course I was hurt, but I just wanted my son to be happy and let him go. So when I see the girl's mom be selfish like this I just don't understand it.

Today I have an inordinate about of sadness and depression and this I just can't seem to get rid of and so close to Christmas...no good for me at all.

DH is half way crazy - he told me I could have the golf basket for my boss and then in one day and one night he has tried to give it to everyone else, he even asked his son if he wanted to go play gold...the YA said I don't know how, I just know you hit the ball around. So now I wonder, why he told me I could give it to my boss but yet he tries to give it to everyone else and or/sell it for a profit, so why does he tell me one thing and do something completely different? This puzzles me. So this morning, i just left it on the island and came to work. I didn't even say anything about it. It's not mine, so as far as I'm concerned it can sit there and rot.

Today I have a mammogram...seriously there is NO way I will NOT put on deoderant or powder this morning...so I will deal with this when I actually get to the appointment at 2:30.

Just another typical Monday for IP! Have a great day.

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
Good advice about not lying.......It is unfortunate that she asked her mom....maybe the next time she could call her Mom and say..."I'd like to stay at dads tonight and he will drop me off at school in the morning".......she is learning a lot from you....she is almost grown...it will serve her well. It is a common time of year to be depressed......a lot of people are. My guess about the golf stuff is that he was throwing out ideas....and then continued to come up with ideas....probably not a good idea to mention it to your boss......until hubby brings your boss up again...I agree...let it sit there.

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Don't shoot me for giving a possible other side to the mom / daughter situation. I obviously don't know anything about either of them, but here is what bothers me when dealing with similar last minute things:

I'm a person that likes most things planned out when possible. I actually enjoy spur of the moment changes or surprises as long as they're not the normal trend.

My parents rarely plan things out in advance. They usually give me a call and want to do something with their grandkids that same day or maybe with one day advance notice. They also don't usually have any kind of idea on how long something is going to last. If this was a once in awhile thing, I'd understand, but it's a normal pattern.

The spur of the moment plans with no known length of time is great for the ones involved, but sucks for those not involved. In my case, parents call up and want to take the kids somewhere and don't know how long it will be. So if I let them go, I need to change the plans I had with the family and also scramble to find something to do without them or just sit around and feel like I'm wasting a day. If my parents had asked to take the kids a week in advance at a certain time, that would've been fine. Because then I could've scheduled something for myself during that time (with or without wife).

So back to your situation. If the mom is like me, there's a chance that she wouldn't care about stuff like that as long as it was planned ahead. Maybe it's just the sudden changes to schedule that irritate her. I know that's what drives me nuts with my parents. If they scheduled things out further, I'd allow my kids to do more stuff with them. But because of the last minute calls be typical, I often times just tell them "no". (And "yes", I have let me parents know about this.)

innerpeace on 12/18/2018:
I get where you are coming from and I appreciate what you say. It's just this woman is so selfish and all she is concerned about is 'her time', not what the daughter wants.

My husband was like this at first but after the first year, he finally started to understand, it isn't what is best for him or his exwife, it has to be what is best for their daughter. She still doesn't get it.

We will ask her weeks in advance to change the schedule and she will just flat out say - this is my time. She is the resident parent and most time is hers, she won't even allow for additional days during the summer, she is just mean and manipulative and hurtful.

If this wasn't the norm and from past behavior, I would understand, but she always says NO, that is why the girl wants to lie, so maybe one day she will say yes. I didn't want her to get into that habit of lying just to get her way.

We will ask to change the schedule weeks in advance and her reply is always 'we have plans'. When we get the girl again and asked if she had fun or what her plans were, her reply is the same. We had no plans or we didn't do anything. The exwife is just spiteful and doesn't want to let the girl have any extra time with her dad or maybe me...I don't know.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
Either re-gift the golf gift OR sell it slightly under (including shipping - work it out) on ebay or facebook local...

grrrr...you mention cheesecake and it's a reminder i have failed to get my cheesecake in the works the past two weekends (chose to relax instead both weekends instead of rushing with it....ah well, it'll happen :)

with your frittata, i should go back to more egg things, like "egg muffins" premade to bring to work for breakfasts....YES! this would also be good for the new year!...instead of low sugar baked goods haha...

well, you did the right thing with the girl and not lying...perhaps there's a way she could get her mom to say yes, and not be a lie...maybe brainstorm on how you could get the mom to say yes...like, hmmm...i have to think about this later..

are you feeling stressed and sad and depressed bc of the mammogram? i hope you feel better later today xoxo...you can do this. you are capable of awesome things. don't put yourself down. sounding like donkey's other entry a bit!

maybe look into some foods good to increase positivity...salmon, avocado, garlic, onions, ginger...green tea (even decaf i like better - they sell it for the keurig), saffron (just a little this stuff is whack!...i use the tiniest amounts)...black pepper....list goes on...

my approach for this end of the year going into 2019 is trying to eat better...for my health, strength, mental clarity.

graindart on 12/18/2018:
So with the additional info you noted in your reply above, it sounds like it's a frustrating situation to be in. And unfortunately one that doesn't appear to have an easy way to change. Stinks being stuck in a difficult situation where you just have to deal with what's available to you.

But good job telling her not to lie to her mom to get her way. That would most likely just lead to an even more negative situation in the future.

innerpeace - Friday Dec 14, 2018

Weight: 315.4

I left work last night and headed to the girl's school for her band concert. In spring when I went it was Administrative Professional's day and I gave her a box of candy. So keeping true to form, I stopped by the drug store and got her a little box of candy, a bell necklace and some gum she can chew with her braces on. When I get to the school, her mom, grandma, step-sister, the YA and his stinky GF was there. They waved for me to come up to the front row with them. This is awkward to me, sitting with the ex-wife. They are nice enought, but really...I know the things, so it is hard to be cordial, but I was. The concert was good and I was happy to leave.

I got home and put the chili together for work and you know...meant to do things, but it just doesn't happen when you're tired. As with HOP I will have to work on my schedule in the new year, because 5 1/2 hours of sleep a night, is just not cutting it for me.

Had chili at work today for a guy who is retiring, I can't wait until it's my time...less than 10 years...if I can make it.

Christmas shopping is complete! I'm so grateful for online shopping!

Tomorrow I will go with DH to his company Christmas Party, the girl will be with her grandma.

Sunday, there may be time for rest...after laundry of course.

Still haven't drank pop...day 21. Happy about this and my skin is doing better.

B: bacon spinach frittata

S: granola cups

L: chili, corn casserole, small piece of cake with nasty icing I had to scrape off.

D: I have no idea - will probably go out with the girl there are beer brats thawed but I don't think I want these for dinner.

present wrapping scheduled for todnight!

Have a great weekend. IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/14/2018:
Good job all the way around!!!! And an especially good job being cordial to the ex .........and personally...i don't think I have EVER met frosting to nasty to scrape off!! Go You!!!

horn_of_plenty on 12/14/2018:
That's very kind of them though...to offer you to come and sit with them! i miss seeing band concerts and kids perform :)

yeah, you will feel sooo much better with more sleep. me too...aside from this month of December,i WAS sleeping well for a lot of this year...just this month because of the busier work schedule.

Yeah, online shopping has got to be the best thing since sliced bread!

your food looks amazing.

i saw a bier brat wrapper in the open garbage in the recycling area of my building...i want to buy those soooo badly!...never had them!

innerpeace - Thursday Dec 13, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Picked up the girl, I wasn't going to but after readying comments I realized I was being the problem. I remember my mom asking me - do you know why you argue? I think I was arguing with DH before we got married. I of course said NO. She said you argue because you don't get your way. I seem to forget that often. Though I wasn't arguing i was just upset because something didn't happen the way I thought it should.

Anyway, when I picked up the girl last night, she asked, am I going to get my head bitten off? I said of course not, I just need a hug. She apologized and everything is fine.

I made grilled chicken, green beans and some boxed scalloped potato that I will never use again.

I also have my dog on a less eating plan. He no longer has a bowl of food on the floor for him to munch on all day everyday, instead he just eats two times a day and has two treats (cookies). He is starting to put on a little weight and i love that dog so much I want him to be around for awhile.

DH ordered the granite counter top this afternoon, cabinets will be delivered 1/8/19.

I've been having a weird pain in my chest/upper adomen area, I might have to get this checked out if it persists.

supposed to go to DH's company Chirstmas party on Saturday the girl is going to her grandma's house, still on the fence about going.

B: bacon spinach fritatta

L: smoked salmon, crackers

S: balanced breaks

D: I don't know yet.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/13/2018:
yummm to your smoked salmon!

yeah, i'd say just plain commumincation with girlie should fix most things...i'm in your boat though, i always expect more :)

i really hope this pain of yours goes away...try some deep breaths if you feel stressed?

i'm really glad the issue with girlie has passed <3

and i cannot wait to see the new cabinets installed!!!

BearCountryGG on 12/13/2018:
Love salmon too! I'm glad to hear that you hugged it out!!! You are probably the most influential person in her life......she really does need you and I'm glad you ladies made up.

graindart on 12/13/2018:
Just had smoked salmon a week ago and didn't like it at all. I remember loving it as a kid, so I try it every year or so.....only to remember I really don't like it anymore. Like it cooked / grilled, just not cold smoked anymore.

The smoked salmon thing is a little weird to me, because as I get older I think the foods I like have expanded greatly to include lots of things that I didn't like as a child. So to have something that I enjoyed when I was younger and really don't like now is different.

Donkey on 12/13/2018:
That was very nice to read about the girl and how that worked out :)

Donkey on 12/13/2018:
Along the lines of what Gains said, I now like molasses, and I think fruit cake is the yummiest dessert I've ever had that isn't chocolate. Yes, I'm OLD!

legcramps on 12/14/2018:
So glad you and the girl are getting along again! And yes, I would definitely get that pain in your chest looked at sooner rather than later...stress can sometimes be so debilitating!

innerpeace - Tuesday Dec 11, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Not in the best of moods and I don't know why I let people bother me so!

DH texts me and says he made white rise for the beef and brocolli. OK fine.

I get home and the beef and brocoli is in a frozen bag. So how is this supposed to be cooked? boiled in the bag? microwaved? dumped out of the bag into a pan, pot, water? There are no instructions on the bag. DH took the bag out of the box to make room in the freezer...and threw the box in the garbage I don't know how long ago. Anyway, I improvise and of course my option was the incorrect one. I snip the corner of the bag and toss it in the microwave - same way I steam brussel sprouts, the breakfast fritatta and other stuff....apparently not this. So I  start clearing off the island in the kitchen and start wrapping some of the gifts and I hear a litle pop noise and the the microwave goes off.

I take the bag out and pour it into a bowl and the sauce was in a smaller bag inside the bigger bag that I never seen. Anyway, this little bag I guess melted into the sauce and was a big gelantinous mess, it was so ugly and nasty looking...I just tossed it all in the trash. The second bag, I did, take the sauce bag out and just steam the vegetables and meat and warmed the sauce separately. This turned out better.

And then I was disappointed with the girl, so much so, I may not go pick her up tomorrow, I will have to think about this more. I text her at Noon yesterday telling her happy birthday...No response! Ok, no big deal, maybe she was in class, surely she will text me back at 3:30 when she gets out of school, she never did! Not even a thank you! This is what is so sad to me! One of the stipulations about getting her that phone is she would respond to texts, so strike 1. This is also irritating because the exwife texted DH and said the girl was upset he hadn't told her happy birthday! right now I feel this girl is selfish and so disrespectful of other peoples' feelings. Yes, yes I am upset that she couldn't take the time to say thank you, especailly when I go out of my way for her! It's the little things. So I am a little pissed! And I just can't wait to hear whose fault this is, because nothing, and I mean nothing is ever her fault! I just can't deal with it anymore. I am not step-parent material.

My body ached all evening, so much it hurt to get up and down from sitting. I took an ibuprofen and tred to quiet my mind.

My DH says he wishes he knew what he could do to fix me...seriously I don't need fixed!

It's just one of those times when you feel alone in a crowded room or when you are trying your aboslute best and it still isn't good enough and dear lord why does life have to be so hard. Must be a seasonal thing!

I have a dental appointment after work...yuck!

B: bacon spinach frittata

S: belvita

L: leftover beef and brocolli

S: balanced breaks


This too shall pass Have a great evening! IP


Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/11/2018:
Seriously, you do not need to be fixed. If nothing else, teenagers (and pre-teens) can be incredibly self-centered. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be a step-parent.

legcramps on 12/11/2018:
Yes, pre-teens and teenagers can certainly be self-centered a lot of the time. Don't take it personally. I doubt she is trying to intentionally hurt you, honestly, I just think she isn't aware that she is hurting you by not replying to your text. Also, please don't think that all the little things you do for her should be rewarded by good behavior or gratefulness, because that won't happen either! Only if she is aware that she should be thankful, and for people that age - well, it's a very selfish phase they are in!

BearCountryGG on 12/11/2018:
I do have to say that while I just LOVE kids...the middle school age group is my least favorite......Love the babies.....grade schoolers are interesting.....really enjoyed the high schoolers...but the middle schoolers were a mish mash of baby and adult and I didn't find it funny at all....actually...I think they are miserable themselves.....they want to be considered adults but they also want to be babied when it suits them....give her a year or 2....and I think she will get to be more fun again.

BearCountryGG on 12/11/2018:
OH...and by the way...I think YOU are doing a GREAT job with her!!! Not all step Moms would be as devoted to her needs as you are........she is learning a lot from you that she will look back on for the rest of her life.....you are making an impact...even when you think you aren't.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2018:
lol, i'm sorry about the beef and broccoli mess! it happens. don't blame it on yourself! if you knew the brand, you may have been able to google instructions...but i hope hubby keeps the box at home for you next time!!!!! or he cooks it ;)

I once had a similiar issue with a friend, never thinking to respond to my texts in any timely manner..with the girl, speak to her and tell her what you would likee her to do and why. she'll do it after a couple reminders. not everyone has the high expextatinos you have...i have the same issue..high expectations...and when people do not rise to my expectations, i do get rather frusrated with them, the thing being, they weren't thinking like i was the whole time...and don't realize i have any expectation. i gather it's similar with the girl in regardes to the phone. you'll have to explain it.

innerpeace - Monday Dec 10, 2018

Weight: 315.4

With DH gone I baked all day Saturday, it probably took longer than it should but I was in no hurry. Once cooled, I boxed those things up and got them ready to be shipped.

The candy wasn't as good. i had a few of the peanut butter snowballs, but after DH had a few, those too were boxed up, so not to bad for me.

Tree is finally finished, now just the task of getting everything wrapped.

Sunday, DH and I went and ordered the cabinets, we should have them the first/second week of January. Then the countertops, so again, hopeful everything will be finished by Valentine's Day. I think even going this way, though a hassle, but at least we know the job will eventually get accomplished, or at least the cabinets are ordered.

DH and I got in a little tiff over the words he used "I don't do anything" Oh OK! I'll show you all I "don't do" the next time you need clean clothes, or need a bill paid, or need dinner cooked or need your daughter picked up! Then he says...you only wash clothes once a week... Oh OK! Well then you can wash your own clothes..sir! I'm sorry I can't go to the post office because they are closed before I get home from work, but you are just sitting there for 3-4 hours in the morning before you go to work and can't do this one little thing!! Whatever! Oh and he does shop, so there's that!

We will see how long this little fued lasts, or how long it takes him to apologize.

B: spinach bacon frittata

S: one orange sugar cookie from work

L: left over pizza

S: balanced breaks

D: DH said he made rice and beef and brocolli so dinner i guess.

Will wrap gifts tonight for awhile.

Today is the girl's actual birthday! And DH's exwife was nice enough to text him to remind him of that fact!! SERIOUSLY!! does she really think he would forget! We've been living that stupid birthday for two weeks NOW!! OMG I just can't even...anymore! I swear these two act like this girl who just turned 14 is still under the age of 5. They just make me sick!

Me, I will finish work today and go home and drink...just kidding...I don't but wish today I did.

have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/10/2018:
The spinach bacon fritatta sounds really good.....not to mention all of the desserts you made.

graindart on 12/10/2018:
One cookie at work.....good control. Cookies aren't something that I find easy to portion control.

horn_of_plenty on 12/10/2018:
PB snowballs sound good..what is in them?

Congrats on having your tree all finished !

so, my coworker also mentioned something how the typical scenario is "men do the technical stuff around the house...and we are responsible for the housework..." sometimes we forget that we should do it for the other person because we want to...rather them asking or begging us...and to help the other person when it seems the task is over their heads...lol....yeah...something like that.

14 is a nice age...really starting to grow up...real teenager. my friend's daughter is also 14...and it's nice to see girls at that age...starting to care about appearance and all...and just learning to be women...well...starting.

innerpeace on 12/11/2018:
PB and powered sugar dipped in chocolate - sickeningly sweet!

innerpeace - Friday Dec 07, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Got the girl and got home about 5:30 - a little later than usual because of the snow and crazy drivers. I cooked probably not the best meal, chicken fried chicken, creamy chicken rice and corn. The girl made a comment about the corn being a starchy vegetable. Yes I know and I shouldn't have served it with rice, but I get tired of green beans all the time the brocolli was spoiled in the refrigerator and I detest frozen brussel sprouts and you don't like carrots and I don't like peas, so...CORN!

She showers and changed her bed sheets and her mom gets her at 8:00.

DH gets home at 10:30 and tells me he has to work all weekend. WTF!! He is OK with this as he thinks they will close his factory down the week of Christmas...maybe! I have annual leave scheduled the week of Chirstmas, so I guess if he works, I will work too and save my leave for another time.

Tree is still not finished...maybe tomorrow.

Baking tomorrow, I have baked for my mom, aunt and two older cousins (like my mom's age) who can't really bake anymore or get around too well for that matter. I box them up and send them for Christmas, they love it and are appreciative of my efforts.

Thinking of making a stew tomorrow.

Anyway...on to the weekend! PEACE! IP


Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/07/2018:
Driving in the snow = pure torture indeed! That's something i'm thankful i don't really need to do this year since i take public transportation. i hardly drive except on weekends which i'm happy with right now!

lol it may be starchy but it's still not the worst. :) it's still a veggie, not man made at least! :) better than corn bread! haha

in terms of if you both are working Christmas week, maybe it's still early...so wait and see what happens...try to keep expectations low if you can?

you are a great chef so i'm sure they must love your gifts :) so nice of you!

BearCountryGG on 12/07/2018:
Driving in th snow is the pits! I don't think that when I was her age I knew corn was a starch.

Donkey on 12/08/2018:
Have fun baking! I remember every year, as a child, looking forward to receiving Mrs. Lettenberger's Christmas cookies. We didn't have a lot when I was growing up, and this was always very much appreciated.

innerpeace - Thursday Dec 06, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Maybe it's this time of year...I put up the Christmas tree at work and got so annoyed at the people I left work for an hour or so and didn't tell anyone where I was going. I pretty much figured I'd be in some kind of trouble when I got back, but I doubt anyone even noticed I was gone...no one said anything.

Then I get home and am so overwhelmed I didn't even finish putting ours up, myabe this weekend. I spent most of the weekend and all day yesterday shopping and then I feel bad because I was reading about a Senior giving tree and the senior citizens  just wanted graham crackers, cranberry juice and compression socks.

Received news my cousin died in Tuscon, AZ. She was 53. Mom told me she had cancer. This made me schedule my mammogram I've been putting off a few months. This was unexpected news and I didn't take it very well. Mom said when she found out about her cancer it was already too late for treatment, which is also very sad for me.

This weekend is the baking weekend for all the cookies that get mailed out. I try to not do it but already have been asked about it.

On Monday we did meet with the contractor and he reimbursed our money, so that is great. Now DH is going Sunday to finalize the cabinet order.

Been eating ok, but still not in a good routine, however, it has been 13 days since I have drank diet pop and I am still drinking more water. Also eating way less bread than previously...no bread in the house since before Thanksgiving.

Looking forward to tomorrow- IP


Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/06/2018:
You are very lucky to have gotten your money back........that is rare in those fly by night businesses.....So sorry about your cousin....There are 3 in my family being treated right now...and so far so good.....and D's sister called yesterday to tell us they are doing more testing next week because of her mamogram last week......it seems like an epidemic.....scary

horn_of_plenty on 12/06/2018:
nice job on your changes to your diet since Thanksgiving and the no diet pop. If you can find a soda called i think Zevia?...it's good because it's made with stevia and doesn't tend to break your skin out. many flavors are caffeine free.

I'm sorry about your cousin that is so sad. It's good you are going to the dr yourself to keep up with it. I went to the GYN after around maybe even 4 years not going...just to keep up, like you are so i'm not too late to treat anything if it showed up.

who will you bake the cookies for?

graindart on 12/06/2018:
Love bread and most other carbs too. Have been avoiding them as much as possible since it's difficult for me to control portions when dealing with them. Once I start eating them, I don't want to stop.

A few months ago I was on-plan for about a week or so. Decided to "reward" myself with a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Ate it and it tasted great. Had a 2nd one. Then a 3rd. And 4th. And would you believe 5th right in a row? Stopped for the day. The next day I finished off the rest of the bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Crazy how out of control I got with just PB&J sandwiches. So right now I have to avoid even the first one, since I know where it leads me......

legcramps on 12/06/2018:
I am sorry to hear about your cousin, so sad.

I hear you about decorating at work; I don't know if that's what made you annoyed, but it sure annoys me when I do it. Especially when people stand there and watch me and do not even bother to lift one finger to help!!

Donkey on 12/07/2018:
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. (((hugs)))

I'm trying to fight this feeling, with the idea of "fake it until you make it", but there is still this underlying current of discontentment... Not so much for the holiday itself, but rather afterwards.

innerpeace - Wednesday Nov 28, 2018

Weight: 319.4

Same night as yesterday it was just Tuesday instead of Monday.

I had to cook dinner which turned out to be Swedish meatballs and noodles, because it was easy!

I did get off the couch and do day 1 of the foundation exercise program - something.

And then...I found a bag of Lindor chocolates...

B: frittata, sausage patty

L: swedish meatballs, noodles

D: DH put a pot roast in the crock pot with potatos and carrots

The girl will be over tonight. We have a Christmas play on Friday night that will just the two of us, as DH has to work. Saturday we are celebrating her 14th birthday, actually we already gave her her big gift, which was a cell phone with service. She has a few other smaller gifts and DH ordered her a big cookie with emoji on it.

About 9:00 pm I started getting the itchy/scratchy feeling in my throat, thought for sure I would wake up with a sore throat, thankfully I didn't today.

May go to the library tonight.

Have a great evening...IP

Progress as of today: 2.2 lbs lost so far, only 109.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/28/2018:
i'm happy to hear you did some exercise at home...perfecto! i'm proud of you too! that's awesome, InnerP!

and i'm sure the chocolates were soooo tasty!

i will be bad and say i'm not sure about gifts that are just candy...lol...for a kid. well, not to eat all at once...maybe chocolates are better. to eat one a day....lol...sorry........my comment was a bit "tasteless"

Donkey on 11/29/2018:
Good for you on exercising!

BearCountryGG on 11/29/2018:
She is so lucky to have such a caring step Mom....My guess is that she would be a pretty sad kid if she didn't have you. I think you are doing a wonderful thing for her.....and I'm sure she is a lot of company for you too........she sounds like a good kid...and you should get most of the credit for that....

Horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2018:
I like Swedish meatballs too!

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