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innerpeace - Tuesday Jul 03, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Saturday went to the retirement party. It was ok, sat with some co-workers. I was ready to go home when it ended. DH and the girl went out to eat on their own.

Sunday - Started July off with a bang! Got up early and walked Steve. The girl took him again about 4:30, he was worn out. We try to go to bed and he wants his treat. He jumped off and on the bed for a couple of hours and barked at me, I finally gave him his treat. He was so irritated he pooped in the floor to show his dissastisfaction. Little A hole! DH grilled chicken and we had salad and green beans.

Monday - busy at work, trying to get the retiree out of here, lots of paperwork and emails flying around. Tried to walk after work, very humid and hot. Had a rotisserie chicken salad with corn and avocado for lunch and then bacon, eggs and toast for dinner.

Tuesday - get to leave work early, my turn to get the girl. I am making a crossaint chicken pot pie, recipe from facebook or somewhere. We bought two rotisserie chickens and have been eating them for two days. So much easier to prepare meals with precooked chicken. I have the same chicken and avocado salad for lunch, but they are having a BBQ for the retiree and give me the stink eye for not eating a hotdog!

No big plans for the 4th....but I just won tickets to see Brad Paisley on the 5th. Love him!

Have a save, happy and free 4th. IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2018:
I have heard of Brad Paisley…congrats how cool to see him and by winning no less! Yayyyy! Perfect short week for this kinda win for you!

Lol, what a biatch of a dog to poop to tell you who is boss!? Too funny, really, for me!

Monday meals sound soooo tasty! Love seeing avocado on your menu! So healthy!

Yes, those precooked chickens are sooo convenient!! I used to buy them often, but they got wasted which is why I’ve bought them soooo much less.

Have no worries about the stink eye….lol…give it back! Or just smile.

happy-1 on 07/03/2018:
Love him! Congratulations!

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2018:
Steve is the boss!!!!! 10 pounds of guts...LOL

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2018:
Maybe Steve was really saying....I need to go outside RIGHT NOW!!!!!

innerpeace on 07/05/2018:
He can go out anytime he wants, he has a doggy door and uses it...when he wants to.

innerpeace - Friday Jun 29, 2018

Weight: 315.0

I made chicken marsala last night for dinner. It was just ok, because I used a store bought gravy from th store. My chicken marsala is so much better, and I actually think this brand was in the cabinet so long, it may have fermented more  or else I just didn't care for it.

So I have came to the conclusion that my dog is overweight...he is and I want to do all I can to help him, which will in turn help myself. No more treats and more exercise.  He is so spoiled, I'm sure I will meet with resistance.

I am spoiled too. I just cannot bring myself to endure any abstinance whatsoever when it comes to food, I just cannot get past this road block. I don't want to be uncomfortable or any pain whatsoever and I know I must endure both to make any kind of progress.

I came across a podcast (this is the first one I've ever listened to) LIAM (life is a marathon)  by Bruce Van Horn, he covers life, insight, wisdom and encouragement. I am Dori...instead of just keep swimming, it is just keep trying....

B: mini bagel and cream cheese, vanilla iced latte

L: roast beef sandwich from Deli - had some kind of garlic sauce and my breath reeks, extra to the rescue

S: little brownie

D: DH is making a chicken parmesean I think for the girl.

We have the girl this weekend, no plans as of yet, it is supposed to be very hot and humid so we might not venture far.

Have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
I think it's easier to fix a pet being overweight than a person. I think you will be successful...just don't give him the treats and he'll lose the weight. Even if the dog begs, don't give in...and the dog will get used to your new rules. It takes a little while for a dog or person to learn new habits...so now you will also have to create a new habit to NOT give him treats. Or choose 1 day out of the week to give him a treat, instead of everyday.

Why do you have to be fully abstinant to lose weight? You do not have to feel so much pain and being uncomfortable..

Why not just do one simple habit change - like if you order or drink large lattes, drink a smaller one. or switch from latte to coffee? i think i may have already asked you this...

garlic sauce sounds great...i am chewing gum now too...

i am craving a decaf coffee so badly...will reach for one as soon as coworkers go home!!!!...i do not want to get up now and have them talk...when they leave i'll clean my dirty bowl and grab a hot coffee...

i need to be busier at work like you..

i see you had no veggies...but i know you like them :-P it will help you...

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
enjoy your weekend and stay as cool as you can!

Donkey on 06/30/2018:
An interesting point you make there about weight loss, for you, involving some level of discomfort or painful... I'm not sure that's correct. That is to say that I agree with Horn's comment about changing one simple habit.

Hmm... you have given me much to think about, with respect to my own journey. Has weight loss been painful (for me)? Has weight loss been uncomfortable? I honestly haven't/hadn't thought about this. Hmm...

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
I have zero resistance when it comes to food too. I had to ask my friend's aunt to hide her diet coke, tortillas and chocolate kisses when I dog sit this weekend because they just stare at me and call to me with their siren song. I have found that meal prep and pre-portioning into plastic containers really, really helps me a lot because there are fewer opportunities for me to make bad decisions and also it is less daunting because the 2 cups of broccoli is already set up. I just have to eat it. I'm understanding more and more that my willpower is a finite resource like time and money and I only have so much budget of it per day and by the end of the day it is spent.

innerpeace - Thursday Jun 28, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Just another day.

Trying to find my way, am just having an incredibly horrible time lately. This is a down day and I would love to just crawl into a hole and sleep.

The girl was over and was watching a Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why.  A teenager committed suicide and recorded some cassette tapes for all her friends to play and listen to and she revealed what each one of them did to her to help her make this decision. It's amazing how actions from all of these people could affect another in ways they will probably never know or would never have known.

Be Kind Always!

I bought a digital scale to better portion out my servings.

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: nasty flat bread sandwich I baked in the oven last night with ham and cheese. The flat bread was super tough and hard to eat, banana

S: power ups - peanut butter snack by Jif

D: chicken with some peanut thai coconut sauce and rice

Have a great day!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
Hi IP! I see you’ve just come back to write another entry today!!

If it makes you feel any better, I’m having a very down week also. I’m drained also. Plus, it was POURING very heavily this morning…My socks and pants got wet. It was a good day to want to just go right home and to bed! I feel you. I have down days myself! Now I’m sleepy, but I know to keep on…I have planned to come into work late tomorrow at 10am so now I can go to the gym and at least feel good about sleeping in till 8 – instead of waking up before 5…things like this help. I’m telling you this to show you I planned this for myself since you were talking about needing to plan your own time…so I’m hoping that with a shorter day tomorrow, I’ll feel a little better as the weekend nears, instead of totally depleted..we shall see how it works out.

This is an interesting movie…I want to watch it. I’ll see if it’s available at my library. They should probably show it in all middle schools and then discuss it.

I have a digital scale at home and still haven’t used it…i would be interested to even see what certain weights of vegetables work out to be in terms of servings/calories. I had bought it to see the weights of meat actually but I am nervous to put raw uncooked meat on it…I can always place it on a plate on top of the scale…or,I can weigh the cooked meat instead probably. Anyways, I also have a scale and I guess haven’t been motivated. I think it’ll be good for you. Just to see about what a portion of something really is.

That peanut butter snack – is it the peanut butter jelly sandwich that they make? I’ll have to look into the powerups!

Lastly, your dinner sounds delicious.

Donkey on 06/28/2018:
My daughter watched this series last year. We had quite a few really good conversations come out of it.

innerpeace - Wednesday Jun 27, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Really super busy. We received results back from our inspection. We had about 10 write ups, half of them could have been fixed prior to the inspection if others were just doing their jobs, but hey, they were all minor and nothing terribly bad.

The party-planner, organizer, scheduler, orderer and all the behind the scenes crap that gets done at work...i'm that girl. Order this, schedule this, make this stuff happen, this is me. Sometimes, I get in situations and get bogged down and overwhelmed and forget about me, taking care of me and my family. I need to learn steps to always include me in my day and/or planning of my day.

Friday we went to the baseball game, it started 1:30 hours late due to the weather, but we stayed. It was a great game and I had a great time and the fireworks at the end were spectacular.

DH had to work on Saturday and the girl went home at 10:00 leaving me at the house to do whatever I wanted which was nothing!

Sunday I was gathering laundry and went into the girl's bathroom and had a cow. I cannot believe how nasty she left it. She treats our house like a hotel. I had a little crazy moment, but I hope she understands where I'm coming from now, she is 13 and can clean up after herself.  Sunday I cleaned and did the laundry and got caught up in a Jesse Stone marathon on TV, so of course I watched.

The girl had a dental appointment yesterday and I'm glad her mouth is sore for a minute. I told her she treats her teeth like my bathroom, she wasn't too happy.

Have to attend a retirement ceremony on Saturday, I am not looking forward, I will be so far out of my comfort zone, I make myself sick.

Anyway, things will get moving again soon.



Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/27/2018:
Hang in there!

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
I'm happy that all the write-ups were for minor items :) good job!

One activity that has helped me have me time daily is to step out at lunchtime and walk. Can you do this? It's good to get out of the building, walk a little, i tend to try to eat when i come back from outside..

Yes, i agree, sometimes you do have a LOT going on. It is important to have your own time.

I"m glad the game was good and that you could enjoy the fireworks :) I had an option to see fireworks last night but was too tired and didn't wanna skip exercise again. so i exercised late after dinner and skipped the fireworks...i wish to have gone but with me it's always like if i go to something, it's a choice to either not relax or not exercise or just not have time doing something else. do you ever feel this way? especially social events this happens to me - where i decide if i really want to be social or if i'd rather be with just one person or by myself totally..i'm socially just not always the life of the party!...back to you -

You will have to teach her how to clean the bathroom. You have to teach 13yr olds...for instance, when i was 13 i know for SURE that i'd need someone to show me how to do things. even if they were easy. at her mom's house, rules i am sure are wayyy different and messes may be in abundance. show her what to do and assign the task to her before she leaves...make a certain time for it. like you both can clean bathrooms at the same time. you have to do it with her 1-2x.

Sorry to hear that her dental appt was a pain...show her how to clean the bathroom and she'll do it. try to show her how to do it as painlessly and efficiently fast as possible so that she can actually get it done.

With the retirement ceremony - try to take it easy on yourself about it. I also do not love these types of social occasions. You don't even need to stay the whole time. I see some people sometimes leave before the cake comes out...like eat the meal and leave. if you feel so uncomfortable, see if you can possibly show your face and leave early...or treat yourself to something nice after...like go home and take a walk after. Do something for yourself after.

innerpeace on 06/28/2018:
I have showed her how to clean, I was in there with her showing her how to clean, this is why I am so aggravated. She just doesn't do it, because she's nasty. She has time, because she watches Netflix for hours, she's lazy. She has rules and guidelines and 'how to clean for dummies' now. We'll see if she does it.

The retirement thing, I organized it and have to be there early to pay and ensure the people who haven't paid...pay. It's a mess. There was another girl involved but she had a 'family emergency' and will not be in town this night, so I guess I wills step up to the plate.

innerpeace - Thursday Jun 21, 2018

Weight: 315.0

I tried to get in touch with DH all morning yesterday and my texts didn't go through, I tried calling and I went straight to voicemail, so I was concerned.

DH would text me and I would answer but he would never get it. Finally, we figured out he had me blocked. Unintentionally?? He said he butt blocked me. I believe him, he has butt called and butt facetimed with me, so it's all good. I guess that's how the VA Telehealth number got blocked too, but everything is unblocked...now we just have to figure out the data sharing problem. And the TeleHealth call arrived on schedule this morning.

For some reason I wanted to try the naked chicken chalupa from Taco Bell. It was pretty tasty, but won't make this a habit. That's what was for dinner.

Not a lot going on a work, thank goodness. I will be off Friday and then we get a baseball game tomorrow as well...if it doesn't get rained out which is a big possiblities. I am looking forward to going to the game.

No big plans over the weekend because the girl goes back home and DH works, so I will have some alone time and I'm looking forward to that too.

And as Donkey says...I will do better tomorrow.

Thank you all for your continued support.



Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/21/2018:
i've always LOVED the chalupa shells from taco bell!

what a strange scenario with the texting...but...it can happen!

bearcountrygg on 06/21/2018:
Chalupas were my taco bell favorite...…..been a loooong time. I miss them!!!

Donkey on 06/21/2018:
"Butt blocked" - ha ha ha! Thank you for the much needed chuckle today :-D

happy-1 on 06/21/2018:
Oh Taco Bell. High school flashback. Glad I already had dinner.

innerpeace - Wednesday Jun 20, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Was away from work for a few days! I have a computer at home, but it is hard to sometimes, sit there and post something.

Friday I left work a little early and got home, DH has Puerto Rican food for us to eat. It was ok, got a touch of indigestion and fell asleep in the recliner. Once I woke up we decided to drive to Sandusky to get some iced coffee. We got home about midnight and then went to Wal-Mart and finished shopping, best time ever to go to Walmart - I'd rather wheel around pallets of groceries than bodies of people.

Saturday we went to a few garage sales and got the girl. Her friend came over and spent the afternoon with her, DH cooked out brats and hamburgers.

Sunday we stayed around the house, I did laundry and DH smoked some BBQ ribs, this is what he wanted for Father's Day. The YA and stinky GF came over. They are the rudest two...I swear. I was always taught to ask others if they needed help with something, nary a peep from these two, they just sat in the living room on their phones, while DH and I cooked and sat the table. Awful young people. I'm glad DH was happy with his kids over, it has been awhile since he's celebrated Father's Day with both of them and the dogs!

Monday the girl and I drove all over Cleveland looking for Cleveland (scrip) signs. There are four out in town (we found 2, one is downtown and I didn't want to fight parking and the last one is on the east side, where I don't want to go alone) and the wind was crazy wild on the lake.

Tuesday we binged watch TV. The girl was watching 13 Reasons on netflix and I watched Below Deck: Mediterrean on Bravo all day.

All weekend we ate reasonably well - no sweet stuff.

DH and I did have a little discussion that was escalated a bit because of the stupid Iphone. I was looking at my steps and it was reading I had over 12,000 steps. I'm like I know it and you know it, I did not walk 12,000 steps, so why is my phone saying I did? So whatever is happening, my phone has DH's steps added to mine and we cannot figure out how to separate the data, he is supposed to take the phones to the apple store and try to get it figured out. We are iphone illiterate or something. I wasn't made at him, but he thought I was. No, I just want my phone to be correct, or else I can't use it for reference or as a pedometer. And he made the comment, 'you're making excuses!" That kind of ticked me off. I just wanted to report correct data is all. I have to tell the Telehealth people this stuff and I'm not saying I walked 12,000 steps when I know I didn't, regardless of what the phone reads.

Anyway, I also found out the telehealth number along with lots of others were blocked...how and why? DH says he didn't do it, and I know I didn't do it, so dum, dum, dum...it's the iphone ghost. but I know he did!

So it was a relaxing two days and I did not want to come to work today, but here I am and I'm just having the best day!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/20/2018:
Those iphones...UGH...still trying to learn ours.......it was nice that you had a few days off though...sounds like you had fun!

happy-1 on 06/20/2018:
You have perfectly captured my frustration with my parents and helping me out at meal times. I'm starting with "you are responsible for clearing your place and wiping your spot at the table after every meal". I'll let you know how it goes.

horn_of_plenty on 06/20/2018:
Hello IP!

Same here, I prefer to be at work commenting….tho sometimes at home when I’m less busy it’s relaxing to go on here and comment on / write entries :---)

Was the Puerto Rican Food beans, rice and fried plantains?

I love to go grocery shopping early on weekends before the crowds…Tho haven’t experienced the Midnight schedule yet. I actually bought a used lawn chair at a garage sale this past Saturday too…it’s lighter than my current one and comfortable to sit out on even on my balcony…it was $6…has a cup holder.

If YA and girlfriend don’t offer help…demand their help! Ask them to help you !

There’s no point to a fitbit if you can’t get the right reading…I’m with ya! I hope it gets sorted out really soon!

bearcountrygg on 06/20/2018:
I took the fitbit off when I realized that when I was rocking in a rocking chair it thought I was walking...LOL

Donkey on 06/20/2018:
I hope you can find a solution to the fitness tracker dilemma.

innerpeace - Friday Jun 15, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Talked to my BFF in Oklahoma, she said her wife has lost 40 pounds and she has lost 10. She said they have started eating whole foods and are very OCD about weighing and measuring everything. I am very proud of their dedication. She just laughed and said it was more of their OCD tendencies than anything. She suggested I go buy a decent scale. I might do that!

The Duck tape festival is this weekend, the last time we went it was just way too crowded for the little area it is held in and I was seriously sunburned, but DH said he may want to check it out again this year. I suggested the Festival of the Fish in Vermillion by the lake, but then those Canadian Solders are swarming so I don't think tha twould be a good idea either. And then the girl wanted her friends to come over again tomorrow. Maybe one more time and then we'll have to take a break with the friends over.

This is the weekend of the girl and I have nothing planned, so these may be for some long days! I'll start looking tonight!

No big plans for Father's Day. DH said he wanted to smoke some ribs...I say whatever!

Have a great weekend...


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/15/2018:
Commented on your last entry.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/16/2018:
oh how nice you are able to open your house up to the girlie and her friends <3 i can understand you wanting a break.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/17/2018:
Duct Tape Festival i'd love to attend :) crowds like no parking..not so much!

innerpeace - Thursday Jun 14, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Not a good post - very therapeutic for me though - reader beware!

Had an unscheduled mental health day from work yesterday...meaning I used a sick day and just vegged out all day. I hardly moved at all. I just didn't want to deal with everything at work.

This mental health day was caused by me calling my mother and that,  I should not have done! She is still dealing with my sister's kids - my mothers grand kids and great grand kids. It was a mad house, my mother sounded so tired and fed up with dealing with it. And then I don't think she should be having too and it is just so sad and right now I just really hate my sister. I hate her for thinking it's ok to let my mom have to deal with all ths BS that her kids have caused, but then this has been the norm I guess all their lives.

I hate my sister for even deeper reasons for crap that happened when we were 8 and 9 years old. She coaxed me into laying in bed with a naked man (my mom's boyfriend at the time), she said it would be alright and all I had to do was lie there and look at the second hand on the clock...and once it goes around three times, I could get up. There was no penetration but fondling and rubbing against me. It was still disgusting. She lured me in this room for a $1.00. She used that dollar to buy a bag of candy from the people selling it at school. I just hate her, I can only imagine what she agreed to do herself. She was my older sister and she should have protected me. I never told my mother, I always thought she should have just known and done something about it and just didn't. This is probably the reason my sister is the way she is today, she has no care for anyone but herself - and this was very hard to type, but it helped me immensely !

Luckily this boyfriend didn't stick around for long. My mom did meet a great man after that and married him and then I had a pretty normal teenage life, but my sister was still wild and crazy. I think after that, I lost all respect for everyone in my family, a big reason I joined the mlitary to get the hell out of that place. And I am glad I am far, far away from them now.

Anyway...today is a better day, at least I made it to work.

B: 12 grain bread, banana, 1Tsp PB

L: ham and cheese sandwich

D: DH wanted the frozen pizza, I will have a slice and a little salad

The girl is over this weekend and will stay the entire week. I will not be at work Monday, Tuesday and Friday next week to stay with her, so a mini vacation. Maybe I can get a few long walks in.

Have a great day! IP



And then the TeleHealth is a program from the VA Hospital. It is similar to the WW which meets every week. When I did that, there was just older men, war veterans who I have absolutely nothing in common with. I could tell that I'm more educated than most of them attending and had nothing to talk about and didn't care to listen about war stories, when I have my own, so I did not like those meetings.SO the next option was the TeleHealth call. It is ok. It calls me every morning and gives me a health tip and some motivation BUT I also have to enter my weight each and everyday...this is what's aggravating, because as much as I would like to see a loss each and everyday, this just does not happen with my body, so it gets aggravating to see a gain, especially if I do everything I'm supposed to do. It is a tool, but it is Big Brotherish and it is everyday - no breaks!

Also I have PCOS and a growth on my pituitary gland that messes with my body and makes it that much more difficult! YES this entire process sucks, but if I keep trying, maybe I will find something that works.

I may complain, but I'm on board and will try to get myself back motivated!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/14/2018:
To begin with...you are very brave to be able to talk about what happened in your childhood...and I hate that you had to go through that....HUGS!!! I don't blame you a bit for not liking your sister.....and your Mom wasn't really using good judgement by bringing a man into her home with 2 little girls either. I don't blame you at all for wanting to get away from them......and maybe they are just paying for their past sins now......please take care of you....and hope and pray that the children are going to get through this ok.

I had a feeling that that daily program was part of your health care...while they mean well and are trying to help...sometimes that just doesn't help.....and you may need something different...it's difficult to get into a mindset sometimes until the exact right mood strikes.....

happy-1 on 06/14/2018:
Hugs! You are super brave to share that. I'd probably feel the same way about my family... I am super proud of you and the life you have built and even gladder that the girl has you in her life.

I love reading your logs because you always push through and ultimately conquer... The telehealth thing with weight entry sounds grueling... but it's also just part of hacking your body chemistry and figuring out what is and is not working for you. I read the Hacker's Diet and it took a lot of the stress and emotion out of facing the scale. You do so much everyday... don't put so much pressure on yourself to do it all perfectly. Maybe you haven't moved the scale but you contributed a huge amount at work, you do so much for Denny and the girl... maybe you need to think about all your accomplishments as a big picture, not just whether the scale moves.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/14/2018:
I also am very sorry you had to deal with such situations at a young age and at all. I'm also glad that you live far away from your mom and sister and avoid their type of dynamics and way of life now that you are an adult. You have made much better choices by leaving the unhealthy situation. What's even better than that is that you do have the little girl in your life that you do spend time with and show love for her. You are a positive aspect to many of the other lives you share yours with!!!!

You do not have to do telehealth if it's bothering you....or maybe just weigh yourself once a week and enter the same weight everyday except for weigh ins once a week when you adjust it?? Like, keep the weight the same all week, and just make a change to it once a week instead of everyday?

It's a phone call and even though it's big brotherish you can control more of your actions, i think.

i think it's cool but it also sounds very stressful. i'm sure that many that partake in the program are retired and have less stress especially in the morning getting ready for work. i do thinkk it's cool that this is an option though. but if you are bored of it, or really despise it, i'd put it on hold.

i'm glad you have a mini vacation coming up! those are the best. make sure to spend some of the time wisely so you are happy while on your "staycation!"

Horn_of_plenty on 06/14/2018:
your sister must have learned some of her behaviors possibly from your mom.

Donkey on 06/15/2018:
I'm so sorry for what you had to go through as a child. So wrong...

PCOS is a game-changer in the weight-loss game. Makes it much harder.

I thought you made progress when you were doing the Couch-2-5k program. IDK, it just seemed as though that worked for you for overall health.

innerpeace on 06/20/2018:
And I think I was making progress. I can't say why I stopped for sure, oh yes, I remember, I was running/jogging the time it told me to but I wasn't getting the distance, so I felt I wasn't doing the program justice.

Maybe I will start that back up!

Thanks for your input.

innerpeace - Tuesday Jun 12, 2018

Weight: 315.0

I was finally tracked down by the Telehealth program. I thought it was over. The coordinator told me that it wasn't that they were here for the long hall, until I reach my designated goal, so OMG it will be like starting over from the beginning, I guess now I have to get my ducks in a row, no more clowning around.

I told him I have gained weight and have been stressed because of the inspection and today was so much better now that it is over. DH is great help for the first week or two and then he wants the sweet, unhealthy stuff too. Just this morning he told me we are having steak for dinner with Brussel sprouts and baked beans. I also told him about my hot flashes and he asked if I wanted to come in for blood work. I declined and said I would wait until July (my birth month) and do it then. He agreed to wait.

I also told him about my hot flashes and he thought I was too young for menapause but made note of everything! So I guess I'll get my friendly health call again tomorrow. I just feel so defeated right this minute.

We have the girl tonight and I think I may try to call my mom and see what her plans are now. I think the kids are back with my nephew so she should be ready to come up. I'm afraid to call because I just don't want to deal with their drama too.

Anyway, I will walk tonight with Steve.

Tomorrow we ride!!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/12/2018:
Ha ha ha... you thought you could get away but you can't!!!

horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2018:
but if you don't like telehealth, don't continue it!

Donkey on 06/12/2018:
IDK if Telehealth wasn't working for you, can't you just say, No thanks?

innerpeace on 06/14/2018:
Probably. It will help me, I just didn't like entering my weight each and every day. I feel pressured to always enter a lower weight and that stresses me out.

After thinking about it, it is a great tool and I just need to work the program and make some kind of real effort to actually manage and/or lose weight.

bearcountrygg on 06/13/2018:
My guess is that it is part of your healthcare? Can you opt out of that? We have Humana...and they want to come to the house...they want something of us every time we turn around...I need a file cabinet just for Human...because they send so much junk.....we ignore them...LOL

innerpeace on 06/14/2018:
It is a program ran by the VA Hospital. I tried to do in-house meetings similar to WW, however all the members are older, male veterans who I had absolutely nothing in common with and didn't find much help or support attending these meetings. The other option was the call everyday. Which is like big brother and you are supposed to weigh everyday and record your weight. And you get a helpful tip and encouragement.

It is actually a good thing, I just feel pressured to continuously report a lower number ergo...stress. However, this may be what I need to actually make some sort of progress....because it's obvious...I'm not.

innerpeace - Monday Jun 11, 2018

Weight: 315.0

The weekend came and went to no big accomplishments...

Saturday, I took the girl's clarinet to be repaired. Will cost about $275...ouch. Was not expecting that, but the repair shop said we could pay for it over the summer, and they probably won't have it repaired until just before school starts because they were THAT busy.

Made meat loaf for dinner with mash potatoes and green beans. I also had some mini peppers to use and stuffed those with cream cheese and bacon. I don't like peppers so DH ate them and took them again for lunch.

Sunday I cleaned bathrooms and washed bath mats and curtains, and laundry and dusted and vacuumed, oh and I did go shopping at Walmart for a minute, just to buy the essentials, milk, bread, Diet Dr. Pepper, the rain kept me in most of the weekend.

So this morning, getting dressed I tore up one of my bras. This disgusts me. I like the bras tight and snug to revent flopping, however, I guess this one bra said...no more and the plastic part of the strap just flew apart, across the room. as detached from the band. Not a happy camper.

So then DH made breakfast, eggs, turkey sausage and toast. He says, I tried to make the eggs over easy. I just lost it, do you always have to point out what you didn't do right? Whay can't you just say I made breakfast? I wouldn't have said anything but thank you!

Stupid inspectors are here, they went to lunch. I swear they look to be 16 years old, so very young. They did the walk through this morning and will be back any minute for all the documentation stuff, which I have to be there for. So I will leave this here....


I wish I was a bull head or stubborn and just do stuff because someone tells me I can't. Or do stuff just to piss people off, I think I would get a lot more accomplished.

I have to do credit card statements for the work people. They statements come in the mail, I pass them out, they should be signed and returned. Why is it that, that one person just cannot do it? I purposely put the envelop in the computer keyboard, where it is standing upright and needs to be removed before they can even type, however this one person just moves it to the side and forgets about it until....I come in and look for it.


Inspection is over, we received a few best practice deficiencies, which we will have to correct, but no major ones. These young girls were very smart and full of knowledge.


DH made me some frames for a girafe picture, I will post at another time.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
I feel like it might be time for her to learn to repaiir her own clarinet. I learned how to repair mine!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Sounds like you did some good self care this weekend... healthy meals, putting things in order, etc.

I wish someone would make me breakfast!

bearcountrygg on 06/11/2018:
I'm with hap......I'd like someone to make me breakfast too.....and so happy that your inspection is over...I'm sure you are relieved.

horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2018:
$275! that's almost the price of a new clarinet! what the!?

i love those mini peppers, got a bag for 1.50 on sale!

good idea with the credit card statements to put them right in the keyboard!

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