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innerpeace - Monday Nov 20, 2017

Weight: 303.7

I don't remember the weekend, it went by so fast.

Friday night, I get home and DH had cooked hotdogs we bought at the butcher store last week. They were pretty good. I went to sleep when he did. But I only slept for about 45 minutes. I got up and did a few things around the house.

Saturday - I go shopping - we started off at a craft show - but I never find anything here and we were right across the street so we just went shopping. Lots of people out.

B: Fruity Pebbles

L: hotdog from Sam's

D: store bought shepherd's pie - it was delicious

S: slice of pumpkin pie

Sunday - didn't go anywhere or do anything - but laundry

B: cinammon roll

L/D - we ate about 3:00 - pork roast cooked in jeagersnitzel sauce, salad

D: dried mango

Had a call from my Telework case manager, been having a rough month. Matter-of-fact I think November sucks! I told him I will be better. After eating sugar this weekend, I feel like I had a hang over so will get back on eating the right things and logging again.

Have a great week! so glad this is a short week for me at work.

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2017:
When i overdo the fast food (i used to overdo the fast food places going from one to the next and bingeing - this was years ago and thankfully i am beyond that / manage myself better with maintenance as well as MODERATION is the word)...but i used to go to drive-thrus and keep eating from every place until i was so sick...and i'd feel a hangover.

At that time, i wasn't eating well or not enough enough and i was bingeing later. i wasn't as prepared as i am now...or mindful.

it may take you a few days till you feel better from the sugar, but you will. then keep making good choices! you will be OK. maybe you are anxious about Thanksgiving.

You only slept 45 minutes the whole night? I hope tonight is better for you...

bearcountrygg on 11/20/2017:
The shopping paet sounded like fun....I'm into the sugar right now too....I think it's the season....UGH

innerpeace - Friday Nov 17, 2017

Weight: 303.7

Just been very busy at work and I haven't taken the time to write in diet diaries. Volunteered to assist with a Safety project that hasn't been updated for over five years and now there is an audit coming. This causes lots of busy work, which I enjoy because the day goes by faster.

I haven't been logging food. I will start this again tomorrow. I get caught up in everything I forget to take time for myself.

I didn't even a plan a menu this week. DH did a good job though.

I don't think anyone is coming over for Thanksgiving, so we are just having a small dinner. In a way I'm glad.

Today my son turns 31. Miss him so much.

Last week when I got my hair colored I was talking about him. When I left the cashier ask me how old I was. I told her I was 50. That just sounded hideous. I realized when I got to my car she was asking to see if I qualified for the senior citizen discount. OMG...I hate getting old.

Still taking the telemove call - because I haven't been logging food, I haven't lost, but haven't gained.

Holiday time and food suck.

I will be a better person tomorrow!

have a great weekend!




Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/17/2017:
You are the same age as my son...you think it's hard to be 50...try being the mother of a 50 year old...LOL Oh well....I'll take it...it's better than the other choice...and Happy Birthday to your son...where doews he live...sounds like far away!

innerpeace on 11/20/2017:
He is in Macon, Georgia

horn_of_plenty on 11/17/2017:
She may have not asked your age bc of a discount, she may just have been interested in your age. I don't think you look old, so don't take her question that way...and truthfully, everyone who i see that's 50 - they look young and still in mid life to me....don't worry, IP!

You are a better person right now, you don't have to wait till tomorrow.

Good job volunteering, i am sure it DOES make the time fly faster at work! Smart, i'd say.

innerpeace - Tuesday Nov 14, 2017

Weight: 303.7

So I spent $90 getting my gray hair covered up and cut. However, this morning I can feel it changing back to gray. I will say this without feeling bad! I hate kids!

The YA is mad at us for making his little sister cry. Whatever! I emailed him and told him why she was crying. Not that I will miss him coming over, but I thought he should know it was nothing we did. Maybe he should be mad at his mom for helping her lie.

We had left over salisbury steak and cabbage for dinner. It was just ok.

B: english muffien, almond butter, iced vnailla latte (only 2 more left)

L: left over pot pie; yogurt, blackberries

S: balanced breaks

D: should be ham & cheese monte cristo again - depends on if DH got the ingredients.

Not a happy camper today about the kids. Will probably deal with that lt later today.

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/14/2017:
I gave up on covering the gray and decided to embrace it....it's easier that way for me. it stays gray even without kids...LOL

horn_of_plenty on 11/15/2017:
i agree with you fully about YA. YOU are 100% RIGHT. Don't even worry.

innerpeace - Monday Nov 13, 2017

Weight: 303.7

Friday the girl text me at 6:30 telling me she wasn't going to school, because her mother had a mild heart attack and was getting a stent put in. Her grandma already called her off. I tell her I'm sorry to hear about your mom, however, if you still want to go to school, let me know and i will come and take you. She said NO. Of course she did.  So all day I'm asking myself what is she doing to help her mother? absolutely nothing! She missed school because her grandma didn't want to take her.

I went to get my gray covered up and get my hair cut and then DH and I went to do some Chrsimtas shopping. We ended up eating a late lunch at a pub. I had a pulled pork sandwich. We got the girl a sandwich for dinner. We ordered her a cookie bouquet for her birthday. We picked her up and went home. She ate and we just messed around the rest of the night.

Saturday when DH gets home, we go to a few craft shows and didn't really buy anything. At one craft show they gave us a raffle ticket and instead of looking at what was for sale I was more interested to see if my raffle ticket was at any of the vendor tables...it wasn't.

We get home and I make a chicken pot pie that turned out fabulously! I should have taken a picture of it...not sure why I stopped that, but I will start again. DH went to bed and the girl talked. I watched football and she played and talked. She complained about her phone for two days.

Sunday the girl and DH go grocery shopping, I do laundry. I even broke down and did the girls. I told her "thank you" goes a long way. DH and I decided to let her use his old Iphone 5 so she would stop complaining about her phone. I told her we are not paying for something that she would be restricted from using to talk to her dad by her mother and step-dad. she understands and said she would use it just on Wi-FI then. DH made salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and salad.

I didn't eat a lot over the weekend, but I did not eat the right foods either, so I ended up gaining 2.8 pounds. I will get this back off.

Work will be crazy the next week or so, we have a safety compliance audit and annual inventory that I will be deeply involved in, not to meniton my regular duties.

I will get back on track...

And as far as I'm concerned....Thanksgiving still comes, Kayla Birthday comes and then I'll worry about Christmas.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
Ricky and I also bought raffle tickets - actually only he did - and we didn't win either. They were raffles at a Veteran's Day concert band performance that we attended on Sunday.

2.8lb gain may also be due to salt / water weight.

have a good eve and stay happy!

happy-1 on 11/13/2017:
It's probably 2.8 lbs of poop ;-)

bearcountrygg on 11/14/2017:
Yup...What Hap said!

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
Oh, i'm glad to know that you will try to lessen cheese...i also need to fix my diet actually.

I need more potassium.

I may also try to lessen my expensive habit of kombucha drinking...and use apple cider vinegar in seltzer again or actually learn to poop after work or something...!

innerpeace - Thursday Nov 09, 2017

Weight: 303.7

DH made a fantastic apricot roasted chicken for dinner, even the girl ate it. Speaking of the girl. She was a bit standoffish, which I'm OK with. As I watched her squirm around and fume and sigh and mumble trying to do her homework, I offered to help and she kinda thawed out. We hung out with DH and then she and I left to go to a craft class at the library. She painted light switch plates for her room; I sent postcards. Her mother picked her up at the library.

I'm glad to be off work tomorrow; just feel really tired and run down. DH and I have planned some Christmas shopping tomorrow and then we have the girl this weekend. I also got tickets to see Radium Girls - a play about girls who painted watch dials to glow with radium and then got sick doing their job. Well if we don't like it, we can always leave early.

Saturday we are going to a craft show and that is about it. There is a hike on the calendar but BCGG's weather is supposed to move in sometime this weekend. I'm ready for it!

B: oatmeal scone; iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: sandwhich with baked chicken

S: balanced breaks

D: I'm not sure - I think I had chicken and dumplings but I think DH has been making whatever he wants.

So, I will try to take a few minutes to post over the weekend.

Have a great Thursday!

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/09/2017:
I saw the Balanced breaks the other day...I was surprised to see that they came in packs of 3...that makes the price a lot better...I had always thought they were $4.89 for one.

innerpeace - Wednesday Nov 08, 2017

Weight: 303.7

The first 82 days of my telemove session ended Monday. The 2nd one started yesterday. I lost about 18 pounds. My goal was to get to 299 so I can hopefully get that done in the next 82 days. I still feel I haven't given it my best effort. This I will have to work on.

Still feeling blue, not sure why, I can't change the how other people act, just my reactions to it...so I will work on this. My DH got p!ssy because I told him I didn't think he was telling me was funny and he was just laughing like no tomorrow - must be male humor or something.

Work is crazy with a tornado outbreak Sunday - people are still scrambling around.

B: oatmeal scone, vanilla iced latte

L: left over mac& cheese; yogurt

S: balanced breaks

D: not sure some kind of chicken

We have the girl tonight - we are going to the library for a craft thing, her mom is supposed to pick her up there.

Will continue to work on myself. Take care ladies. iP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/08/2017:
Congrats on the 18 pound loss...that is fantastic. Sounds like telemove is working really well for you!

happy-1 on 11/08/2017:
Nice!!!!!! Slow progress is still progress and easier to maintain!

horn_of_plenty on 11/08/2017:
Hi IP!

Good of you to get thru already 82 days. That is a lot, almost 3 months! Congrats on losing 18 pounds – that’s also a LOT! Great job.

I see you eat a lot of cheese – I think that if you can forgo cheese some days of the week, that you may have an easier time losing weight. Cheese packs in a TON of calories per ounce, so if you can do without it, you’ll save yourself a ton of calories. That’s particularly the reason that I don’t eat MOST types of cheese, although cream cheese is a staple and I do use it on wraps in the mornings sometimes. But the wrap is low cal and the smoked fish that I put on the wrap I also low cal, so the cheese is balanced out…anyways…moving on!...

You cannot be responsible for other’s bad actions…might as well turn your “frown upside down!”…I heard a teenage (cute funny boy) say that to one of his friends at McDonalds earlier this week and I thought it was pretty funny. I’ve heard it before and just thought of it now when you mention you are feeling blue. Listen, you may as well just smile…

I am so sorry to hear of the Tornado Outbreak and I hope everyone’s life gets back to normal REALLY SOON. That’s so frustrating, I can imagine…I am glad it doesn’t sound like it reached you.

innerpeace on 11/09/2017:
I know you have talked about cheese before. It is a habit...I love cheese. I will try to cut down on it.

innerpeace - Monday Nov 06, 2017

Weight: 303.7

Saturday - I tried to get up but OMG i was just so tired. When DH got home we went on a few errands. We were going to a Holiday craft show but it was only on Friday. So we just drove around and ran into a local butcher block. They cook gourmet sausages from noon-4 with the hopes of getting people to buy there sausage. It works.

We sampled about six different sausages, four of them were just ok, very spicey. Two we bought - a maple bacon sausage and another type of sausage with herbs that tasted nice.

Then we DH finally realized where we were we stopped at a Spudnut Doughnut shop. They use a potatoe flour to make their doughnuts. They were delicious. We bought 1/2 dozen and took them home. Not that we needed them, but they were so good.

Once we got home, we mowed the front and back yard - hopefully for the last time. I have never had to mow grass in the month of November...ever!

DH went to bed and I settled in for FOOTBALL! Sooners had me on the edge of my seat, but they pulled out the victory.

Had almost 2375 calories - stupid doughnuts!

SUNDAY - again - tried to sleep with the time change - slept better but didn't seem to get enough. DH got home and we went shopping. I prefer to let him and the girl do it, but I decided to go a long. - walked a lot

B: English muffin

L: Slice of pizza

D: bacon, mac & cheese and cabbage

Laundry - without the girls - I seemed to finish 2 hours early, but maybe because I started sooner.

MONDAY - I was wide awake at 3:00, I finally got back to sleep and was up at 5:00. I opted not to exercise instead took an extra long shower and then I meditated. This was wonderful and may do this again.

Once I got to work DH texted me to tell me the YA did in fact trade the car off, so I called the insurance agent and canceled the insurance. I am not paying for a car he doesn't have any more. Saves me $125 a month. And that ungrateful thing can deal with his own insurance...and car payment. He still owes me $250 - I doubt I will ever see this. I was just going to give him the payment book for Christmas so I will just be out $100. He's a rat/snake/whatever!

Other than that - my office has been extremely busy, apparently there was bad weather I was not aware of....and they have been out doing storm surveys all day along with the media calls - the office as been quite more busy than usual.

B: english muffin w/almond butter; iced vanilla latte

L: left over mac n cheese

S: yogurt, blueberries morning - balanced breaks AM

D: I think London broil and roasted vegetables - depends on what time DH gets back from his doctor's appointment.

I can't wait until Friday - day off!

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2017:
Hiiiii InnerPeace! I have never done that voting thing early. Good idea for busy people…

Saturday I was tired too….but HAD to get up for a class…and was promptly tired after it, but still did a few things….and then I seriously got up to do laundry Sunday after which I just plain fell back to sleep again, till 3pm! I guess we all need sleep sometimes! Haha. Of course we do!

The herbed sausage sounds really nice. Who doesn’t like a good sausage!? I sure do. I wish they weren’t all so fatty! But man, they are good. I do eat them every so often. A nice change of pace. And some are actually lighter varieties in the stores. I was buying chicken sausages quite a bit not too long ago – I think it was last year where I was eating them pretty often – bringing them as part of my lunch at work with veggies. And some kinda grain, prob chips lol, on the side.

That’s so funny with your potato flour donuts. In the Jewish religion, there’s a week or so in the Springtime called Passover holiday and we can only eat cakes and pastries and food made of potato flour! We cannot eat anything with yeast that makes dough rise…so when you are writing about potato flour, it only makes me think of that holiday right away…bc that’s how I think of potato flour! Lol….no offense just something funny that came to my mind! Oh, 2375 calories – don’t worry about it :--P…it’s good to have some ups and downs…you’ll be OK!

Oh man how nice…the bacon, mac and cheese and cabbage is a GREAT mix! I’d mix that all together…eating some of that bacon and mac and cheese with cabbage any day…very cool and tasty and a way for it all to be a bit more filling!

I hope you got all your laundry done!

But I am glad to hear he traded the car or whatever…it’s good to see he had carried thru with his plans. Having a car and bills is so expensive. It’s so hard for young people. I hope that one day he does get back on track in the best of ways. I do wish the best for all…I do. :---)

You know, my office seems busy all of a sudden also. … and busy for no good reason though. Everyone is here on Monday. That’s for sure..Even one of the girls I despise is back from maternity leave…I am sorry I have to see her face!

Ohhh, I love those roasted veggies. I need to start cooking them now that it’s getting cooler out! Tonight I will run, in the dark.

bearcountrygg on 11/06/2017:
Getting out of paying the car insurance is a great perk for you....my guess is that he didn;t thnk of that...YEAH YOU!!!!

innerpeace - Friday Nov 03, 2017

Weight: 303.7

Nervous, anxiety, bufferflies I was so keyed up over seeing the girl again I made myself sick and gave myself a tension headache.

But the confrontation happened - I was calm, layed out the facts, reiterated the rules and applied the punishment. We even had role play in case similar situations arise. Either way, the lying and scheming to get her way will not be tolerated. I also told her I didn't appreciate the YA's GF texting me about the situation, especially when she didn't know the entire story. And she will tell her about it when/if the three of us are in the same room. I told her whether she chooses to lie or tell the truth, that my love for her doesn't change, just how we get along.

Afterwords, I couldn't eat dinner and just tried to relax. The girl went to take a shower. DH went to check on her and she was bawling. I'm glad. She said she lost her best friend and DH told her, you can't hurt people like you did. Anyway, I did feel better and took some Aleve and 1/2 a muscle relaxer. That was a big mistake.

I wouldn't let DH got to bed until she left, I am still not in a position to take care of her on my own for now - I'm just really disappointed and upset with her.

Dinner - I told DH to only use one can of canned tomatoes - well he should have used the two called for because it was thick and kinda nasty. I ate half a bowl.

I over slept big time this morning - didn't wake up until 6:15 ACK - can't be doing this! Well I won't be doing the muscle relaxer again...but I did sleep great.

Meeting at work today - who holds staff meetings on Friday? I want to get out of here. No big plans this weekend. DH and I may go to a Christmas craft show and the Big Lots has a grand opening so we may just shop around. I do want to see a movie and of course its the weekend and there is always FOOTBALL!

B: toast; iced vanilla latte

L: left over ravioli, yogurt, blueberries

S: balanced breaks

I still am on the TeleMove program and my care coordinator called me yesterday, just told him  I was having issues getting motivated with my activity, but other than that I am still within the 3-8 pounds per month so I'm good.

Have a great weekend. IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/03/2017:
It's good to hear that you had a talk with her....sounds like she got the message.

horn_of_plenty on 11/03/2017:
I am proud of you for how you approached the situation with the girl- I really agree with how you said you will always love her but the way you get along will change. Pretty perfect. I think she may get better and behave better. Her birth mother is a big schemer so you will really have to help her see it's not the way to do things.

We also have work meetings on fridays for the most important administration!

Donkey on 11/04/2017:
You did well...

Horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2017:
I agree with J-donk.

You are an awesome person, InnerP. Don't forget that!

and keep your healthy routine :)

innerpeace - Thursday Nov 02, 2017

Weight: 303.7

DH misread the menu and made  black bean burgers for dinner  (that was lunch for today) instead of the rotisseri chicken. That's ok, the black bean burger was ok.

We walked the dog, I did jog a little and I didn't hurt anywhere, so I may get back into this - of course depends on the weather, always.

sick is the only way I can describe today.

B: english muffin; iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: ham and cheese panini - scalded my mouth on this wow who knew 45 seconds could get something so hot

S: balanced breaks

D: ravioli, spinach and cream cheese crock pot stew

Have a great night. IP


Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/02/2017:
oh...sorry about the burn....but the panini sounds good though.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/03/2017:
yep, my outdoor exercise is weather depending as well...usually weather is OK and sometimes i have to schedule around it. but, for the most part, i think in NY we have more pleasant weather days than not!

you are sick? feel better?

that stew sounds unreal! sounds cool. if the ravioli has cheese and there's also added cream cheese in the stew, is there a way to lighten it so it's only ravioli with cheese or only the cream cheese and not the ravioli? i'm picky.

also, the stew might be good with a spaghetti squash?

have a wonderful night...always supporting and proud of you. you are a role model.

innerpeace on 11/03/2017:
No not sick per se. Just sick about what the evening will bring with the girl.

innerpeace - Wednesday Nov 01, 2017

Weight: 303.7

I appreciate all your comments about my current situation - I'm just glad I can get this all off my chest here. I have made an appointment with a fmaily therapist as well. I have been reading a lot and learning a lot and talked and talked and cried lots of tears. I even told my DH that I felt so hurt that this is worse than my divorce. At least when my exhusband broke my heart I left and didn't have to still see him and deal with him ever again.

Things are tough for that girl - I know her mother and step-father have restrictions on what she can and can't do with her phone and facebook. They have even blocked DH from her phone and he cannot even text or talk to her with messenger or anything - I guess maybe we should have blocked her from talking to her mother but I'm just not like that...yet. I just still can't believe the mother condones this and actually helped her - if my kid even asked me to do something like this - I would have such a different approach - I would not help them deceive someone deliberately.

anyway - I walked my dog before trick or treaters and then couldn't bring myself to pass out candy. I don't even think there were a lot because Steve didn't bark too much at all. Both DH and I ate a few pieces but I brough the rest of the candy to work for these crazies to eat. I did make some scones for breakfast that turned out amazing.

B: oatmeal scone - iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt, blueberries

L: naan bread, left over steak

S: balanced breaks

D: scheduled is rotisserie chicken, but I can't say if DH thawed the chicken yet or not - this may change

I over slept big time this morning, I turned the 5:00 am alarm off and didn't wake back up until 6:37 - no shower this a.m. and I'm feeling it now. - just feel dirty, face feels greasy, hair is limp and yuck - I surely miss my morning shower.

Have been changing my files over at work for the new fiscal year and shredding old stuff so have been keeping pretty busy..

Still expecting a text from girl's mother saying she is sick or has something to do tomorrow. I will be very surprised if she faces the music tomorrow.

No plans tonight - may take a nap

Have a good night.


Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/01/2017:
Getting it all off your chest is a good thing....we all need to vent now and then....and good for you not passing out treats last night if you didn't feel like it....

BearCountryGG on 11/01/2017:
Getting it all off your chest is a good thing....we all need to vent now and then....and good for you not passing out treats last night if you didn't feel like it....

Donkey on 11/02/2017:

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