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innerpeace - Wednesday Jan 28, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

So DSD enjoyed her evening at the library and brought home a book to read. I wished she liked to read more. I had made turkey and cheese quesidillas and tomato soup for dinner. So after eating we left for our Taste of Yoga class. This is the third or fourth class I have taken in the last six months. Today I feel like it is OK. I still feel uncomfortable because I am so big I can't grab the body part I am supposed to grab. I probably look hideous doing it, but I tried my hardest. DSD and DH seemed to like it. Today my neck hurts. Either I slept wrong last night or pulled something stretching.

Coworker gave me her password to her gaiam account and said I should try the AM/PM yoga and see if I like it any better. Maybe I will check it out if I can get the computer/tv hookup to jive.

Tonight we volunteer at the Friends of the Lorain County Metroparks taking in garage sale items for this weekend. Though I didn't want to work the actual garage sale I did want to help in some way, so this is it. Maybe we will have some donations, if not it is just two hours in a warm building, how bad could it be? I'm taking Steve, so I can get him a walk in at the trail. He is getting cabin fever with snow on the ground, his time outdoors is limited, poor baby!

Tomorrow I have thoughts about trying a Zumba class at a local church, maybe...

They have a Jurassic Quest in Akron this weekend, I asked DH to ask the DSD mother if we could have her for one afternoon to take her, I thought she would have a great time...alas no, they have plans. I made a comment, what are they going to do this weekend go sit at the morgue for six hours. I guess DH didn't think it was funny, but oh well.

B: bagel thin, iced coffee (this is maxwell house french vanilla, I use 1% milk) it is 5 points.

S: protein bar - I am out of protein bars

L. turkey cheese thin sandwhich, salad, pretzel balls

S: clementime

D: TBD I think since we are going to the reservation to accept donations for the garage sale we will pick something up on the way home.

Funny store at work, someone gave me a box to mail UPS. I haven't had to mail anything UPS so I didn't know the procedure and as I was going back to my desk I saw the mailroom guy walking through the library rotunda...so the following ensues:

I said, sir? He didn't hear me and kept walking. I yelled sir, again as he was going through the double doors. I yelled sir, again as he was crossing the catwalk into the law building. I yelled sir again as he started down the stairs. Only when I went down the stairs and waved my hands in the air did he finally look up. He didn't hear me calling because he had ear buds in!!! Great so thanks for making me look like a psycho...I asked him about the UPS, he said all I had to do was give the box to him and he would UPS it for me. So he took it...YAY!

And then when I turned around to come back into the law library I ran smack into the UPS man!! What? Who does this happen to? Good thing all UPS men are handsome, and I'm soft so it's all good.

Have a great day!! IP



Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

nenak on 01/28/2015:
Enjoy your day x

thinnside40 on 01/28/2015:
Sounds like my kids... Those earbuds knock out too much of the outside world! grrrrrr

museumgirl on 01/29/2015:
UPS story cracked me up. have a good day

liza36 on 01/29/2015:
Love your UPS story!

innerpeace - Tuesday Jan 27, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

Why does this process have to be so hard? If someone ever wanted to know how to gain weight I could surely tell them. Friday night we went to the family diner by our house to eat dinner. I had a chicken ranch wrap and only a few fries. My DH ate most of my fries. I was supposed to get up Saturday morning and go to the Weight Watchers meeting but I just could not get up and go. There are three maybe four meetings Saturday morning, I just could not face that I had once again gained weight. I just get so disappointed with myself. I made a crustless quiche for breakfast. We also had a banana and grapes, it just goes down hill from there. DH got home around noon and brought us Burger King (because he had a coupon) and then he and the little girl went to do all the shopping. Funny how he can spend over $120 and come back with hardly any food. He did have laundry soap and fabric softener though.

We had a Frozen Festival to attend which was nice for the DSD but it took every ounce of me to get through it with a smile on my face. I really don't like kids and to have 300 running around acting crazy over cartoon charactors was hard on every last nerve. Afterwards neither DH or I felt like cooking it was well after 8:00 pm, so we settled on pizza. Not the healthiest choice in the world. Matter of fact sometime in the night I took off my wedding set because my hands had swelled so badly.


Sunday was the laundry and domestic duty day, most of the house got cleaned and the laundry done but I didn't make it upstairs to clean the extra bathroom. After we dropped the DSD off at the funeral home we stopped by the goodwill and I looked around. Either I went on a good day, where stuff wasn't picked through or someone my size recently lost weight or died. Yes I think about these things. I found lots of tops and pants that were just my size, most of the tops had the tags still on them. I know I picked up at least four tops and two pair of pants that were Croft & Barrow, well over $100 worth of clothes. I found a pair of boots and dress shoes (just my size) that looked brand new. I also found a new bathing suit for me and one for the DSD for our trip to the indoor swim park in early March, and a pair of pajama bottoms for DH all for the low, low price of $28.00. I felt lucky, other times I go in there and can't find anything.

DH baked a turkey, we had dressing and green beans for late lunch dinner.

Monday I had all intentions of journaling but got caught up in work stuff and before I knew it was time to go home. I could have journaled at home, but somewhere between work and home i got to thinking of things again and ended up in a bad place. I always hear how people love their jobs and never feel like they have to work. I wish that was me. I go to work to pay my bills. I do not like my job. I do the best I can and do my work properly but I am not truly happy doing it.

So how do people have these life changing moments to find out what they want to do with their lives? Where does passion for something come from? I seemed to have skipped this phase in my life or something. I ask myself all the time what exactly do I want to do to be happy and I still cannot answer this question. I'm just not exactly sure what it is. I remember at my last boss's retirement party the emcee was reading his bio and stated that he found his passion for electronics at a young age. I wondered what happend at that young age to make him feel passionate about electronics? Of course I never did ask, all I know is I have just never had that aha moment. Maybe one day it will come around.

B: bagel thin, iced coffee

S: protein bar

L:  turkey/swiss sandwich., grapes

S: garlic parmasean pretzel rounds

D: turkey, dressing casserole

Tuesday at work I had to sit in a day long interview session for a candidate that I will never have to work with, I hope I get the vibe from my coworkers that actually do, so I can select the correct one. One down, two to go.

B : bagel thin, iced coffee

S: Protein bar

L: left over turkey dressing casserole, clementimes

S: grapes

Dinner will probably be a quick sandwich and soup.

DH is picking DSD up and taking her to the library for a Tween Central period. They play bingo and read or something. Once they get home we turn around and go to our Taste of Yoga class tonight. I hope it turns out better than the last yoga class.

Anyway, I'm on my trek to find my AHA moment. I hope you all know your passion. Have a great night. IP

Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/27/2015:
I was talking to a friend about stress and she says that sometimes when she is so stressed, she can hardly pull her jeans off her body at night! yeah, she said it's just from the stress. so, maybe with your hands / wedding rings, it can be the same. Considering it was a stressful day.

thinnside40 on 01/27/2015:
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I know when realizing I was worth every bit of putting effort into making myself healthier made me happier. I lost that for too long after so much family/friend loss and the life of grief took over. Have some of that self-worth feeling back.... YOU ARE WORTH taking care of yourself. We all are!

museumgirl on 01/27/2015:
it is hard, that`s why we are all here. good score on the clothes. as for finding your passion, it is tough... I work a job I absolutely love now, but took me years to find it, and I still dream of other things I`d like to do. not sure what the answer is. hang in there!

innerpeace - Friday Jan 23, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

Dinner was pork roast with honey mustard seasoning, it was really good. I also made a califlower casserole with turkey bacon and no fat mayo and sour cream. The cheese was whole cheese but I didn't use as much as the recipe called for, that also turned out very good.  DH took Steve for a walk.

I watched the biggest loser, shed some tears with the contestants and wish them all well. Then I watched Project Runway, I love that show, I wish I could learn to sew like that.

So my dog is crazy and barks at dogs and cats that are on the TV, he runs through the downstairs looking for them and then jumps on the back of the sofa and looks out the window for them. He barks at every Swiffer commericial thinking someone is at the door when the doorbell rings, he runs through the house like a maniac, sometimes he just doesn't stop, so I open the patio door for him and he runs out and barks at what he needs to bark at. I usually leave the patio door open in the milder months, however since it is winter it only stays open a few minutes.  This is usually nightly unless it gets frigid cold. My dog has been sprayed by a skunk twice and he should know better, but he's a dog.

After Project Runway I head upstairs and get ready for bed, my DH is in the garage and he comes in and comes upstairs, we go to bed. I was hot all night, I think DH turned on the fan about 2:30 am. So when I get up to let the dog out at 5:30...the patio door is still open from last night!! What the What? So I guess the heater ran all night long trying to heat up the downstairs all this time I am burning up upstairs, crazy stuff I tell you.

DH already received a text from the evil ex asking if he could bring DSD to the funeral home early Sunday afternoon. I knew this would happen, but as long DSD can enjoy Saturday without drama, this will be good for her.

B: bagel thin

S: protein bar

L: turkey/swiss wrap

S: yogurt raisons

I think we are going out to eat, not very sure what's for dinner.

Very concerned I will have a gain this week. I will keep trying. I hate stressing over the whole weigh in thing, how to get rid of this stress? I hate I let that stupid piece of electronic crap intimidate me so!! What a bully!!

Have a good one! IP

Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 01/23/2015:
Don't let the scale rule your thoughts. Don't get on until you feel your ready. Hard I know, but....... Hope your weekend turns out o.k.

innerpeace - Thursday Jan 22, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

It's amazing what a few hours relaxing with the drapes drawn will do for a migraine, oh yeah after taking Maxalt, my headache finally ended, just in time for me to go to the dentist...yeah, NOT! However, I must say of all the dentists I have been to, this one is most nice and the hygenist had me laughing, which is difficult to do when there are sharp tools in your mouth. It was better than expected, no cavities!!

DSD was not with me, DH received a text message at work from her mother and told my husband that her brother unexpectedly passed away and could DSD stay with her. Well of course she can. But I know she only has one brother so this pass only works once. No, I'm not being mean. This is the most brassy, uncouth woman I have ever had the acquaintence to know. She is awful and only thinks of herself, especially when she lets her daughter continue to have lice, won't teach her to wipe and hasn't taught her basic hygeine skills. This entire situation makes me so mad. We have tickets Saturday to go to a Frozen Festival 5:30-8:00. I told my DH not to be upset if DSD's mother calls and asked if she can stay home to attend the funeral and be with the family. Hey sure...I guess. I just think she is getting what she deserves in the end. How she started an affair on the internet with a man, left her husband and all the hardship and pain she has caused. I know her new husband has been in and out of the hospital dealing with diabetes issues and then she has gall bladder/kidney issues and has been in and out of the hopital too. I'm just saying, KARMA and all her sisters are probably coming to bite her in the ass.

On the way home I stopped and picked up dinner. I had a grilled chicken and walnut salad, it was tasty.

DH brought home a bag of lindor chocolates and I did eat a few (4) for dessert, not that I needed dessert after I just had my teeth cleaned, but they are there. I did take Steve (our fox terrior dog) for a walk . Trying to get at least 5,000 steps per day, been short this week, not that I have been doing anything extra. This will change!! I will get motivated. I'm sure weigh in Saturday will be a gain, BUT i'll worry about that then.

B: bagel thin with butter

S: protein bar

L: turkey/swiss on sandwhich rounds, grapes, banana and a handful of off brand funyons.

S: half peanut butter on sandwhich round

Dinner is some kind of pork roast and DH took a turkey out of the freezer to cook this weekend...what on earth?

Just looking at what I listed for eating, I am eating way to much bread!

A note about my picture, I would already classify that as old, I just got all my hair cut off and new glasses, but it is the current weight.

Have a great evening. IP

Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 01/22/2015:
What a great family photo below! I'm glad your dentist experience went well overall.

thinnside40 on 01/22/2015:
Glad your headache is gone.

museumgirl on 01/22/2015:
don't let the creeps get you down. I love the name Steve for the terrier, so cute!

innerpeace - Wednesday Jan 21, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

Good intentions, my life is filled with them.

I left work at noon with a migraine, I haven't had one in a while but this one side lined me the entire evening. Scrapped Zumba. Tonight I have a dental appointment, biannual cleaning. I usually come away with my mouth hurting for one reason or another, I think the hygenist hurts worse than the doctor.

DSD is going to go, the receptionist said she can come in and watch and speak to the hygenist to get a feel for the place. She is paranoid of the dentist...why? I have no idea, she has never been, so someone has put the fear of God in her about the dentist (an I haven't said a word about how I feel!).  I will make her an initial appointment after.

I was discussing with my DH about how I have all the tools I need to lose weight and I can't for the life of me figure out why I don't stay OP. I guess my desire to lose weight needs to overcome my desire for sweet food.


L: turkey wrap with swiss cheese, kale, brocolli and avocado

D: grilled chicken, corn

S: COSMOs salted carmel corn puffs (a serving is 4 points) I think I had 4 servings, I wasn't just satisfied with one. This is what I can't figure out.

I stayed up and watched My Big Fat Beautiful Life, I think I laughed (guffawed laughed) at that girl's crazy antics, if she's happy with herself, so be it. I will buy me a tape measure this weekend to do some measurements, I know I'm not her size...yet. I think she said she was weighing about 380.

DH turned on the ceiling fan on last night, I think we slept much better. We have been getting very hot on the second floor, heat rises, makes for a hot sleeping environment.

Today I started off with B: think bagel

s: potein bar

L. turkey wrap

i thought I would inlcude a few pictures we took around Christmas time. The first was at Bass Pro shop and the second was in the hotel lobby in Dayton, Ohio wearing our Cleveland Browns matching PJs.



Have a good evening...IP


Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Jezebel on 01/21/2015:
I hope you don't mind a long response? Thanks for posting a picture. I love to see who I'm sharing my life with :). I always feel more connection to those who are willing to share their picture... weird but true. There's a pic of me somewhere in my first few posts. I think I weighed around 265-260 in that pic but I got up to 280 when I started in early Oct. I've lost about a full size (20? lbs) since that pic. We're similar in shape though and I also have shoulder length hair and I usually have glasses on when I'm in front of the computer. I will try to get an updated pic- maybe at 225? I don't want to rush it because I want there to be enough loss to actually be able to notice in a pic first. Some sweet things, even low cal "legal" things trigger a gorge reaction in me. This week I'm struggling because I brought home some diet yogurt ice cream sandwiches @ 150 cals each and I've had trouble all week containing my eating. And I've had two episodes of binge eating 90 cal choc pudding cups. I just have to walk through it and accept that right now, I can't trust myself around a few foods and unfortunately, I can not predict which foods will trigger such an extreme reaction. I went through the same ordeal with green grapes... sounds healthy enough, until you do the math and realize you've eaten 2.5 lbs of grapes in 2 days...In my experience so far, I see that I need to be able to distinguish between a trigger food and a craving. Avoid the triggers but allow for a craving because it's more of a constant nagging that won't go away - for me. Please don't give up even if you fall face first into a pie, just forgive yourself, maybe try to identify what is going on inside you that could have been the real source of craving or hunger... and pick yourself up again. Hugz from me. I'm Jen. Pleased to "meet" you.

innerpeace on 01/22/2015:
Thanks for that! I'm glad I don't struggle alone.

innerpeace on 01/22/2015:
Thanks for that! I'm glad I don't struggle alone.

innerpeace on 01/22/2015:
Thanks for that! I'm glad I don't struggle alone.

thinnside40 on 01/21/2015:
Sorry about your h/a.. If you've never tried it, an ice pack (bag of frozen peas) on the back of the neck sure helps our son when he gets nauseating migraines. Hope by now you've found some relief.

museumgirl on 01/22/2015:
Thanks for posting the pictures, I too love seeing who I am "talking" to. There are some around here of me, somewhere, several pounds ago.... Sorry about your migraine, hope it subsides. My mother suffered from them, and they are terrible....

innerpeace - Tuesday Jan 20, 2015
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 306.0

I'm baaaack for the upteenth time, but as long as I keep trying I'm doing something. I have been trying different activities...tonight Zumba. DH already said he would go with. We try lots of things, but either don't like it or don't stick to it. We tried Yoga, but I didn't like that, but have another class scheduled next week. I will try it and see if I like it again. We attended a Fitness Support Group that was help at the local library. About seven people attended. A group put together for motivation and inspriration. It was an introductory class and if everyone shows up again, we will exchange names and emails for motivation and support purposes. Sunday, we attended a medication/breathing workshop...I have come to the conclusion that we are just so stressed in our life. Or we just make it that way.

I attended a journaling class to reduce class at work. I learned a few different techniques, so if I spew off crazy stuff in here...I'm just putting everything I learned into use.

DSD again has head lice. I am so fed up with head lice I just want to shave her bald. Her hair is in the middle of her back and her crazy  mother will NOT cut her hair. Her crazy mother apparently doesn't do anything with it, for the head lice to keep recurring like it does. I have never in my life been around someone who has continuously had head lice for most of the last two years. Child Services just says it's a nuisance, but nothing they would remove the child from the home for. What on earth? Oh well, we will just keep treating it I guess.

DH tried to fix a toilet in the master bathroom for two days, he cursed and cussed that toilet both days. It wasn't the toilet's fault he got the wrong part and had to go back to Home Depot twice and Walmart once!  He finally got it put back together and learned a whole lot, so if one of the other toilets break, he will know how to fix it quicker than the first one.

DH's 50th birthday is coming up the first weekend in February. I tried to put together a surprise party for him, but can't get anyone from his work to attend...which sucks! HIs family lives out of town and won't (or can't) drive up. This makes me sad.

We have a long weekend planned at an indoor water park 6-9 of March, I hope to be at my goal weight by then.

B: cheerios, 1/2 cup milk

S: protein bar

Progress as of today: 6.9 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 01/20/2015:
It's great to see you back IP! My boys get notices from school all the time about kids in their class getting the lice. I think it's a pretty common problem and probably worse with long hair. We haven't had to deal with it so far, thankfully, probably because their hair is pretty short and also since boys don't share hair clips and hats and things like that. I hope it gets sorted out!

thinnside40 on 01/20/2015:
I've heard that herbal shampoo/conditioner (Herbal Essence) is a good way to detour lice. Some herb in it that they don't like... ??? Welcome back :)

thinkpositive on 01/21/2015:
Keep trying until you find an activity that you like. I think that exercise should be enjoyable otherwise you won't continue.

innerpeace - Wednesday Oct 08, 2014

Weight: 302.3

What a week. Son came in at 2:30 am last Wednesday. Missed him. We ran around trying to get him a drivers license to no avail. Shopping for a wedding ring and planned a shot gun wedding that turned out pretty nice despite the weather and applied for a replacement SSN card all in three days. Son came and left!

Cold came and stayed. Oh the sinus misery. I was unable to breathe for the last three days and hopefully today will be the last hard day. Because I had no taste buds I had no appetite and tho I lost weight, do not recommend this method.

Doing the challenge at work I am #9. I want to be higher so I will find time to walk more or do my Leslie Sansone walk away the pounds DVD.

I hope all are doing well.


Progress as of today: 10.6 lbs lost so far, only 12.3 lbs to go!

museumgirl on 10/08/2014:
Wow, you've been busy. Hope the sinus problems clear up.

innerpeace - Tuesday Sep 30, 2014

Weight: 306.9

Today I have designated as a scheduled binge day...because I saw my wedding pictures. OMG I have no words, I am ashamed to have my family see them. Tomorrow is the first and the start, again, of this new eating life style. It is so hard. It has just never felt so unattainable before. Daunting to say the least.

My dear Steve chewed up the ear piece to my glasses, I'm not sure how he got ahold of them unless when I was looking at the dreaded wedding photos I layed them on the pillow beside me. I only have to wear them a few weeks, my next eye doctor appointment is 10/23/14.

I did pull weeds for about an hour last night all the old gladiolus are gone. DH mowed the grass all in all I did achieve my 5,000 step goal.

D: grilled chicken, brocolli, egg noodles and a sauce made from creme of chicken soup and sour cream

S: yogurt covered granola

Son texted last night, he made the plane, but he is stuck in Customs. His girlfriend is from India and she didn't have the right Visa, so he may or may not make it to Cleveland tonight, we will see.

B: toast, this is the last day for toast

S: protein bar

L: left over grilled chicken and brocolli from last night, yogurt covered granola

D: pizza - I will not over do it. But I am going to set a goal to be under 300 by the end of the month.

I will be in the process of making all the preventative maintenance appointments for October, oh joy!

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 16.9 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Monday Sep 29, 2014

Weight: 306.9

Oh the weekend!!

Friday night DH grilled pork chops and made corn. He also grilled a small pork roast to cook pork fried rice.

Saturday DH had to work in the morning so me and Steve just hung out. No football teams played. We were going to go to the apple orchard, but I was thinking the last time we went we picked too many apples and most of them ruined, so I decided not to go.

B: iced coffee, protein bar

L & D: 1/2 turkey swiss market fresh sandwich

DH and I did go see the move The Equalizer. It started off slow but it picked up, I enjoyed it greatly. I love Denzel Washington.

Sunday, DH volunterred to fill in at the Metro Parks hay ride so he was gone from 11:00 to 4:00 so I stayed home and finished laundry, vacuumed, and dusted. I also dust mopped the hardwood floors, wow what a bunch of dog hair, it's amazing what you can't see. My weekend was very good, I enjoyed my alone time and not having the little girl...and the hair treatment place called. The little girl was not taken for her follow-up appointment. I can see me at the casino in a few weeks.

B: toast, iced coffee

L: protein bar

D: porked fried rice

Hopefully son will be flying in tomorrow...if he can get to the airport on time.

B: toast

L: tuna and cottage cheese, six club crackers, string cheese

Dinner: TBD

I think we have yard work today after work.

Have a great week!

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 16.9 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Friday Sep 26, 2014

Weight: 306.9

Picked up the little girl after work and went home. DH grilled chicken and made some steamed brocoli, it tasted a bit salty but it was good.

Since DH had to cart the little girl home, I took Steve for his walk so I could get my 5,000 steps in. At one point I didn't think I was going to make it back, but I did. Lower back was screaming at me!

DH left to take the little girl home, I made lunch and brought some clothes up from the basement. I watched the biggest loser (that new female trainer is awesome - I don't remember her name).

We went to bed after Project Runway, well Dh was already asleep in the chair.

B: toast

S: protein bar

L: Pepperidge Farm round bread, turkey and 1 piece of provolone cheese

S: dole fruit can (peaches)

I think DH said he was going to grill pork chops tonight, it could change, it's always does on Friday.

Tomorrow is supposed to be date night. We wanted to see Denzel Washington's new movie The Equalizer. We also have an apple picking date and then on Sunday there is WooleyBear Festival in Vermillion. Somewhere I am going to mow the grass and pull all the dead summer flowers out of the flower beds. Should be a busy weekend.

have a good one! IP

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 16.9 lbs to go!

glassgirl3 on 09/26/2014:
your weekend sounds busy and a lot of fun!

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