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innerpeace - Friday Apr 01, 2016

Weight: 311.9

It's official my DH is a total azzhat! OMG He just knows how to make me feel so worthless and insignificant. And I can't believe I let him do this! A few weeks ago I read an article that somewhere in Indiana a company sends used medicine bottles to a thrid world country (I can't remember which country) so they can be used for medicine to give out. As I was walking out the house I notice all the empty vials and bottles sitting on a shelf in the garage. I ask...What are you going to do with all these bottles?

As I was getting in the car DH reaches over and turns down the radio. I ask why are you turning down the radio? He says, so I can hear whatever else you are going to b*tch and complain about. Seriously? What was I b*tching about now? I just asked a question. He really wants me to start...I can.

I can complain everyday about how he leaves water splatter all over the bathroom mirror and how he falls asleep in his recliner every night. Me no, I just let it happen, there is no stopping it...but I can start complaining about it. I can start complaining how I hate that trash piles up in the kitchen trashcan until nothing else will fit before it gets taken out...or I can take it out myself, but what fun woutld that be? I can complain that I have to drive everyday to work, because he freaks out on the interstate? I can complain about lots of other stuff too, but do I? NO? 

We had a few words back and forth and I didn't speak at all going to work, as whatever I say, I will be complaining. I told him to walk home.

He texted me and asked if I was coming to get him? I said No, not unless I get some kind of apology. He says sorry. I asked sorry for what? He says for making you mad. Seriously, fo rmaking me mad? Not for being a azzhat, blow hole, jackazz? Whatever man! I just do NOT want to spend time with this man, this weekend!

We had chipolte for dinner I ate 1886 calories.

This month I am going to lessen these calories, I hate that I am stable and don't see any weight coming off. Tonight, we are going to the Y. I will do some cardio machine, because I am NOT swimming - azzhat (AH for now) and the little girl can swim - I still think it is too cold even for the indoor pool.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: fruit and yogart protein bar

L: smoked salmon, saltine crackers, two halo oranges (are not so sweet and juicy as advertised)

no afternoon snack. I don't know what is for dinner. AH took out pork chops but I doubt we will eat them, i wonder.

Tomorrow, we aer scheduled to go to the Home Depot activity for kids, which I hate but do - again don't complain about it. The little girl is supposed to go to a birthday party at three and then come back. I really don't care if she does or doesn't. I am watching basketball later. GO SOONERS!

I hope you all have a better day today, than I did! trying to find my InnerPeace!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 04/01/2016:

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 31, 2016

Weight: 311.9

DH and I picked up the little girl. She didn't hardly speak in the car on the way home. She was sniffling. I asked her if she was sick. She says no...just allergies. Well OK then we'll check on getting those fixed up. Since spring is here she will break out in these little bumps all of her hands. She said her mother told her she was allergic to grass. And then come to find out, this is just her mother's diagnosis not a doctor's. 

I know she is very sensitve to other things, she gets big, huge welts whenever she gets mosquito bites and then she itches and scratches until she bleeds and they usually get infected. Last summer dressing her up for her costume week at camp, even markers and other things would leave red puffy marks where ever they come in contact with her skin. I told her I would make her an appointment to see a doctor. She didn't say anything, so I made the comment, unless you want to sneeze and hack all summer long. She still didn't say anything. We get into the drive way and she hops out saying she is going to take a shower and she runs upstairs.

DH grills some steak and I am am making rice and green beans, After dinner DH and the little girl go to the station to get me some gase and she did want an icy.

I did make an appointment for the VA doctor who looks at my face it isn't until 5/9/16 and the labs are on 4/25/16, so maybe I can lose this 11 pounds before I get on her scale. That is my goal for April to be under 300.

DH texts me and tells me that the little girl's mother and stepfather were telling his son that DH owes him $6,000. I'm like OMG for what? You have paid child support ever since they left why would you owe him any money? First the little punk needs to finish school. I know he is DH's son (a spoiled brat) but I don't believe any parent owes their kids anything except, food, clothes, a place to live and the chance to get a good education. Well he pizzed that away already! He's not my son, but again, this son hasn't spoken two words to his dad since I've bee up here (almost three years now)! Whatever! I'm still kinda ticked. This emotional BS makes my DH sad and broody and I don't like it!

Slept pretty good last night, up until the dog woked me up, he has been doing really well...except he started seeing his reflection in the window while standing on the bed and that is what he has been barking at the last couple of nights. So I closed the bedroom drapes and it is total blackness now. Same thing in the dining room while watching TV he'll see the TV reflection in the window and start barking at the people thinking they are outside in the yard, it is kinda strange and cute at the same time.

I finished the night with 2224 calories, again with the bad habits, stupid donuts, with my DH enabler. I told him the next time I ask for something just say NO!

B: bagel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

S: mixed berry protein bar

L: salmon, crackers (I have two more days of salmon), fiber one strawberry cheesecake bar

D: I think we are going to Chipoltle, I will get what I usually get and my bowl is around 575-600 calories.

No plans tonight! Should be a relaxing evening. Tomorrow April 1st. Should try to find something to fool these crazies at work....Have a good night.



Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 03/31/2016:
Trying to come up with an April fool's joke for my grandchildren. They kind of expect it so hard to fool them.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/01/2016:
Allergies are the WORST! I hope she feels better. You know what else is good about smoked salmon!? it lasts a long time in the fridge bc of all the tasty salt it's cured with!

When you say salmon, do you mean the salted one?

innerpeace on 04/01/2016:
I'm not sure. We get it at sames, it just says it is smoked salmon. One was maple bacon smoke the other was regular smoked. It doesn't taste very salty. It doesn't say salted anywhere. It is very good though.

innerpeace on 04/01/2016:

horn_of_plenty on 04/01/2016:
Yeah smoked salmon - love it and yes it's pretty salty I believe.

innerpeace - Wednesday Mar 30, 2016

Weight: 311.9

We have ants! How the hell they get in the house I am clueless. I hate the little buggers! I have talked about the ants before and my DH getting snippy with Scott's lawn service...well we still have the ants so I can't leave food down for my dog during the day. DH wouldn't let me use the lawn service because he said he would take care of it, the bad thing about that it is whenever he feels like it, which may be NEVER! I made a comment that we still have ants as I was washing the dog food down the drain and he says, you can go to Home Depot too JoAnn.

Yes well, I will and you know what I DID! If I would have known I would have had to still take care of stuff like this being married I would have thought twice about it. He forgets I lived alone and owned a home by myself and took care of everything for over 15 years. He doesn't scare me with that macho bullcrap! Hey, guess what? I can mow, weedeat and paint too. You need a sink unclogged I'm your girl! Trash taken out, hey I'm there!  dumb me for thinkin a husband might take over these house chores! bleepity bleep!  I'm trying, I really am!

He did say he would go with, why to make sure I get the right stuff? No, he wanted to pick up the edger he ordered online, we'll see how many times that is actually used this spring/summer!

Tonight is a little girl night. We have nothing planned and she is on spring break, so maybe we will go for a walk. I'm really not in the mood to entertain her though.

Dinner last night was the pesto chicken. DH baked the chicken with pesto sauce, tomato and cheese. It was ok, rice and green beens. Total for the day was 1604.


B: bagel, cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt protein bar

L: smoked salmon, crackers, yogurt

I'm not sure what's for dinner.

Was thinking if my mom don't come up this spring that I will be driving home the last week in July. I really miss my mom and friends. Made an appointment at the VA so I can get my face pill prescription renewed. It isn't until May. I will run out of pills by then, but oh well, They may or may not help the acne. My face as been descent the last couple of weeks, so who knows.

Have a pleasant evening! IP


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/30/2016:
Man...I was tempted to pick up smoked salmon today bc I have been enjoying treating myself to salty foods lately. but...no. I didn't pick it up bc I couldn't think about spending even more money on food. lol. I have bought so much, I will not need to go food shopping again until I get back from the wedding Sunday! LOL...considering I will not even be in this apartment both Friday night into Sunday.

Glad to hear your face is doing better. Mine usually calms down with less stress. This week though, i'm taking matters into my own hands :)

innerpeace - Tuesday Mar 29, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Comments comment:

The sky is blue.

The weather is cold.

I am at work.

We went shopping.

Easter was last weekend.

You are a nice person.

You left the toilet seat up.

All comments! Why is it that my DH says the last one is a complaint? I say because he feels guilty and wants to start something. I just made the comment how he reacts to it is his own doing. If when I say this comment you feel you should have done something different or you feel you got caught doing something you shouldn't then this is not my fault. I am not complaining, I merely made a comment.

I walked into the bathroom and saw the toilet hadn't been flushed. I didn't leave it. So either DH or the little girl left it. I made the comment. Someone needs to come and take care of this toilet. So the guilty one gets mad and finally comes and takes care of it. Again, not a complaint in my book. Handle your business!

NOTE TO SELF: Don't take naps in the afternoon on workdays! It took forever for me to get to sleep last night and then the back neighbors, who live on an acre lot or larger was blasting music and having a bon fire, this upset my dog and he barked and barked. Poor thing! DH's stomach was acting up or he had indigestion or heartburn or something but he was up and down and then he starts with the passing gas and stinking up the room, I made him go downstairs. Needless to say, sleep was there but it sucked!

Work is Meh today!

B: asiago bagel, cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

S: left over pretzel stick

L: 1/2 hamburger from dinenr last night, I had two halo tangerines, but one was black inside and the other was very dry so I only ate 1/2 of it.

I had yogurt but it was past the good by date and tasted curdled so I tossed that.

S: trail mix

D: DH was talking about pesto chicken, not sure how he is going to make this.

Have a good evening!


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/29/2016:
Lol, men....never wanna take responsibility for their actions...LOL...I am facing a situation not similar, but involving a man and the fact he'd rather party all the time than be serious for a second! And I still love in anyways, bc he definitely has stolen a piece of my heart. I hope one day he will share half my heart with me at least!

hollybelle on 03/29/2016:
Rowdy neighbors! Have a good one tomorrow!

innerpeace - Monday Mar 28, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Today was interesting. I get a text from DH that he is wanting to go home about 10:30. I'm thinking he is in pain so I ask my boss if I can leave to go pick him up (we carpool). My boss is like sure, we are flexible here. I get DH and he just wants to leave because he has no work to do. So we go home. We take an awesome nap. When we wake up we go eat an early dinner and then go shopping. We get back home and just relax. It was good to leave work at lunch, we should all do that more often.

B: bagel, iced vanilla latte

L: 1/2 left over porkcho sandwich

D: 1/2 cheeseburger with homemade chips.

I had about 1600 calories. My calories have been ok, but I can see us creeping back into the bad habit routines.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 03/29/2016:
Fun to do something different. Nice to have a flexible boss!

innerpeace - Sunday Mar 27, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Stupid Easter! Bad memories on this day in my life. I will type more later. B. Bagel and cream cheese D: pork chop, stuffing and green beans Bear claw, golden Oreos eating like crap! Over 2300 calories today.



In 1988 my son was in the hospital on Easter day. He had an abscess on his forehead. He kept falling and bumping his head. Earlier in the week he had fallen at the mall on the concrete floor (he was just over 2 yeras old). He had a little bump pop up on his forehead, the next day he fell down and hit his head on the side of a chair, this time it popped up and wouldn't go away. Being in the military I took him to the hospital and they wanted to treat me like a criminal. It was awful, they didn't treat him and sent him to the children's hosptial in town. They had to do surgery and pack his abscess. We were in the hospital Easter weekend. It was terrible for my little guy, but he made it through like a champ. Later we find out he has a lazy eye, this is the reason he kept falling. We had that fixed too, not once but twice.

And then in 1990 I was in jump school at Fort Benning, GA and was in terrible pain. I went to the ER and they kept telling me they pain I felt wasn't anything. I couldn't  lie down and  I couldn't stand, all I could do was sit bent over in a chair. They had me sit there in the ER for six hours because they didn't want to call in a surgeon on the holiday. WTF!! When I woke up from ER the Dr. had the nerve to tell me how sick I was...my appendix had burst. Well if your ass was here four hours ago, it might not have been so bad. AZZHAT!

And then DH's wife first started acting crazy on Easter. He is brooding and moody, this day is just so irritating.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 03/28/2016:
May today be a good day full of joy and happiness!

innerpeace - Saturday Mar 26, 2016

Weight: 311.9

I stayed up late watching basketball. Think I got to bed at 12:30. DH was up at 6:00 going to work I slept in til 8:00. I was using the word depressed as I have no interest in anything no motivation. DH asked what so I have to be depressed about. I just don't want to do anything that will task my brain or make me sweat or make me sore. I guess I'm just being a big baby.

B: cheese Danish

L: goldfish

D: chicken and dumplings

Watching basketball again no plans for Easter.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/27/2016:
I have just gone through a very unmotivated stage. I had to realize that I don't have to particularly FEEL like going for that walk (just a short one) I just have to do it anyway - it has surprised me that once I get my shoes on, and get out the door the short 10 minute walk becomes the 20 min walk and the 20 min walk becomes 40 and so on....as for soreness - I take Tylenol acetaminophen - arthritis strength. I am 62 years old and I'd probably have to take it anyway to get out of bed! LOL Take a walk at half time!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/27/2016:
I feel for you. I also get into my moods where I don't want to do ANYTHING while home in my apt. Yesterday, the ONLY thing I managed before heading out to dinner at 5pm was laundry. Only other thing I did was eat little and read for like 20min! That's it. just on the computer and being really lazy. I will always fall back a little into this lazy spell if I have been working hard & too busy leading up to it. Sometimes I think being lazy or not wanting to be productive isn't the worst thing in the world.

innerpeace - Friday Mar 25, 2016

Weight: 311.9

I am defeated! I let making the chick costume stress me out! It is ditched. DH will be a bunny in a basket now. He can wear white pants and shirt with the bunny ears. I used the dog's old swimming pool as the basket and will decorate it up. I just couldn't get the right thing/look going with the chick. What a waste of time. I didn't go to work today and slept late. My boby did not like this, as I had a headache most of the day and then I was running around and the traffic was really on my last nerve. There was more traffic today than during the holidays I think. They sure celebrate Easter up here in a BIG way! And most of the stores are closed on Easter! Heck they were open on Thanksgiving....just makes me wonder!

We had baked pork chops, green beans and stuffing for dinner. It was good.  Total calories for the day was right around 1838

B: vanilla iced latte

L: ssmoked salmon and crackers

D: meatloaf, mashed potatos and gravy, small salad

I havent't added calories yet.

We were supposed to go to a glow in the dark egg hunt but the weather is cold and drizzly, and DH's knee is hurting so we decided not to go. We took the little girl to eat, she has to be back at her mom's for Easter. I will try to finish the pool basket tomorrow as that adult egg hunt is in the evening. We can go for the costume contest but again depending on how DH's knee feels. Here they do not hide Easter Eggs they just throw them on the ground and everyone makes a mad dash to pick them up, tripping over each other and pushing and shoving. Not the best envirnonment for my DH right now. We will just have to see.

Wishing you all a happy Easter and nice relaxing Saturday.

Cheers, IP

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/26/2016:
Sorry you are stressed - it happens to so many of us during the holiays! Good calories...I love smoked salmon!!!!!!!!!! yum!!!!!!!!! been wanting it so much lately...I think I will buy some tomorrow.

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 24, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Tuesday  night I picked up the little girl and she informs me that there is an awards ceremony at her school on Wednesday. I tell her I may not be able to make it, usually I need more than a day's notice to just leave work. On the drive she says she wants to check her grades because she wants so bad to make the merit roll. She already gets a perfect attendance award and she was student of the Month. So we get home and she checks her grades. She is mad because she made a C in Math and she won't make merit roll.  Her dad gets home and we eat the subway and take off for the egg craft.

Once at the egg craft she is all mopey like she doesn't want to be there and she is clingy and hanging all over me. I tell her if she doesn't start acting like she is the least bit interested we would stop coming to these craft events.  I ask her, what on earth is the matter? She tells me she is mad that she made a C. I asked her if she did her best, did she work her hardest. She replied yes, I then told her well then there is no reason for you to be mad, you did the best you could. We'll just work harder next quarter.

And then of course on the way home the stupid bird flew up and knocked the side view mirror off the car. It scared my DH so bad, I was really pissed.  But this is the same side I just scraped up in the parking lot, so it just looks a little worse now.

Anyway, yesterday, the exwife sends pictures of the little girl getting her awards and she did make merit roll (all As & Bs). I text back and said, I'm very happy she was worried she didn't get merit roll. Then the exwife says....Mr. Thomas told her to keep working hard and I told her I believed in her and she pushed forward!! (What thehell? So did Mr. Thomas just give her the award? Was the C for the last quarter? If it's the first, I'll have to check, I'd hate for the teacher just to give her something she didn't earn just because she was a little upset! This is not preparation for the furture or sixth grade! Damn, then I should get mad at everything until I get my way! ) The exwife, mom person) This is the same one who was letting her daughter fail third grade until I stepped in and started her extra help. Oh well....you go then mom!  The little girl had to write a letter to her hero, it was ME! Because I helped her pass third grade and take care of her, it wasn't to her mom, just saying!  DH was mad, but I'm just like let it go, that little girl knows who takes care of her and who does what.

DH and I went to Wal-mart and picked a few things and then ate at the diner. I spent the rest of the evening, trying to work on the crazy costume we need for Saturday night, still a long way to go. My mom called and wanted help with calling a few places to notify them of my uncle's death. I did that today at work in between projects!

Tonight, no plans, but we get the little girl and we will stay home and do home work and costume stuff!

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: salmon, crackers, fiber one bar

no snack today

D: pork something, DH thawed pork

Have a great evening! IP


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Wednesday Mar 23, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Last night we took the little girl to color eggs and on the way home a bird flew into the side of my car and broke the side view mirror off. It scared DH so bad! I went back and picked up the cover and found the mirror but doubt it can be put back on! What on early else could happen with my car!

We ate subway. I had a six inch turkey. I was so hungry though when we got back home I had the last four ribs. I ended the day with 1891 calories.

crazy day at work! Stressing out!

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: smoked salmon, crackers

S: bright side granola; trail mix

D: chicken wrap

Finished the day with 1660 calories.

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/24/2016:
Sorry about your car. How bizarre! Cals aren't too bad. Hang in there.

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