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innerpeace - Tuesday Mar 22, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Very crazy night, but things are back to normal this morning, or so I thought. I slept all night which is great!

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: pepperidge brightside granola bar

L: smoked salmon and crackers

D: planned - subway

We have a library acitivy tonight - decorating Easter eggs. I boiled six last night to take with us, we can do two a piece. I am picking up the little girl after work and we are meeting DH at the house and then leaving.

And then the daily drama =========================

I get to work and get a phone call from my sister. She told me our uncle died on Sunday about 6:00pm. I'm like seriously, why are you just now telling me? That sucks! She says I thought mom told you, uh...NO she didn't.

Then she says, that your husband was texting mom and mom said she told your husband to tell you. I then ask my DH and he says I never received a text from your mom about anything, she never texted me back, so then he calls me at work and said he would never keep something like that form me. All I can think is that my mom didn't press send, I just don't know.

My sister went on to talk about the book royalties that my uncle signed over to me six years ago. I told her I never sent the letter in until just last week. I told her if I ever receive any royalties, I will send it to my mom, they were the ones that took care of my uncle while he was sick, I would NEVER feel right taking that money. I only helped him format and write the book, that cannot even compare to all they have done the last year.

She also told me that my oldest nephew's girl friend is expecting their third child (a girl) and they are going to name her Violet (my mom's name) JoAnn (my name). they already have an 11 and 10 year old, why on earth they would have another is beyond me! This is puzzling and irritating all at the same time. These kids both my nephew and grand neice and nephew have been raised on public assistance. And I guess it won't end there. My middle nephew is in prison and the third one can't keep a job. None of these three kids finished highschool! It is so very sad And I just remember the youngest one text me last year on my birthday...Happy Birthday aunt JoAnn, can I borrow $30 dollars? I will never forget this!

I can see today sucking, I hope it gets better as it goes.


Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/22/2016:
Sorry about your loss.

hollybelle on 03/22/2016:
Sorry for you loss,IP. We can't pick our family, can we? For better or worse and most the time mine is a little of both! God bless.

innerpeace - Monday Mar 21, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Omg how times gets away when I am using my creative mind.

B: toast and I iced vanilla latte

L: turkey Swiss sandwich, crackers S. Trail mix

D. Left over ribs and green beans I took Steve for a walk and worked on the Easter costume for Saturday.

DH can be an azz sometimes! I'll have more time tomorrow to write about this...reminder to myself! Have a good night.


This is all the stuff I wanted to write about last night, but got involved with the costume making - and I was busy at work so....here it is now.

A couple of weeks ago I picked up the dog's bowl off the kitchen floor and it was just filled with little black ants and there was so many it grossed me out. I washed them down the drain.

Jump to last Friday when the Scott's lawn service man calls me - I thought it was the weed control man but he was calling about pest control. He said they would spray 18 inches up the foundation and three feet out for $70 and guarantee no pests. Well it isn't just for one application it is for 4 different applications for $280. I was thinking about my ants but I told him I had to talk to my husband and to call me back.

So the lawn man calls me back while we are driving home and DH doesn't like the tone and attitude he is using so he tells the man never mind he isn't interested. So after he hangs, up I ask my DH what about the ants. DH says he will buy some boric acid and put around the foundation. My reply was ok when? At least if the lawn man did it, I would know it would get done. My DH is wonderful, however, he doesn't do things when needed, he only does them when he wants to or feels like it. I lived alone in my house for fifteen years and did everything myself, so I know how to mow and weedeat and do stuff. So I know when it is time to do this, I would just do it. Not DH, the grass will need to be mowed this weekend, he will say, I am going to wait until A neighbor or B neighbor mows. Why? This makes me crazy! Just freakin' mow already!

So he gets attitude!

And then he gets a text from a niece that I know he hasn't talked to since I moved up here (three years in May) asking if she can use our address so she can received mail for her medical and other benefits she gets from the state. She says, I can't use Tony's (the other uncle) because dad is, so I need to use someone else's address. So DH replies. I am fine, thanks for asking, because he was pissed that the only time his family talks to him is if/when they need something (not unlike my own). He said she is capable and able to find work and has, however, she does not take care of herself (she has diabetes) and often needs hospitalized for sugar too high or too low....ergo, she refuses to work and gets whatever benefits from the state. He said his sister was helping this neice before and caused all kinds of trouble. She isn't honest and lies. So I just made a comment, well, you can, but I just want you to know that if anything comes up missing from the mailbox, she will be the first person I blame. Again, this makes him pissy.

I really don't care if she uses the address, I just wanted him to know that if she isn't honest and lies what's to prevent her from taking something in our mailbox. And then I want her to use it because why not help someone less fortunate. I don't know whether he said she could or not in the end.

But after all this, he gets really pissy and is just being really nasty. I told him times like these I wish I just never moved up here. Both of our families suck! We both work hard for everything we have, and to see others thriving while doing nothing is very irritating. He went out into the garage and was doing whatever he does out there (not mowi) and then he comes back in and apologizes, this is why I love him so!

The calories for the night were 1868.

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
Aren't men always asses! hehe, just kidding. My "not yet boyfriend but still my man" does so much ass-y things :) but I love the dude!

innerpeace - Sunday Mar 20, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Finally I got to sleep all night. I still woke up with a headache.

Woke up about 8:30, relaxed with the crossword puzzle and drank my iced vanilla latte.

Started the laundry earlier to get finished to watch the 5:15 basketball game. So glad my team won! We hung out in the house, the weather was damp and cold, it even snow flurried this morning. DH made some awesome ribs that we will be eating for the next few days. SO many.

Really easy, drama free day.

B: blueberry bage with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: 1/2 apple fritter

early dinner: six pork ribs, potato salad. I even drank some water today.

Ending the day with 1368 calories. I am OK with this.

Laudry done, team won...I am ready for Monday!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/21/2016:
Sounds like a nice day off with the hubbs! Good day for you. It's always nice to have a relaxed day and share it with someone you love.

grannyannie on 03/21/2016:
Good calories. Have a healthy week.

hollybelle on 03/21/2016:
You were due a drama free day. Yay!

innerpeace - Saturday Mar 19, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH made turkey/beef burgers for dinner, he mixed the two meets and then stuffed it with mozerella cheese. We watched basketball or listened to it, because all three of us were doing different things on the technical devices. They fell asleep, I enjoy the peace and quiet.

I finally go to bed about 11:45 only to be up again with my dear pet! I stayed up and slept on and off in the recliner, I hate this. I went to bed about 4:30 and DH was up by 5:00 to go to work. I slept but woke up with a headache at 8:30. I got the little girl up at 9:00 and we sat around until 10:00. We finally left the house at 10:40 and went places.

We stopped at the library for the book sale. She picked up a few books, I got a few books, magazines and puzzles all for the low, low price of $5.50. I gave the cashier $11:00 because I wanted a five dollar bill back in change, but he couldn't figure this out, so he gave me back my dollar and $4.50 cents. unBELIEVEABLE!  Huh, thanks....I guess.We then went to the Pepperidge Ridge outlet store and bought some day old bread., next stop the dog store to get the homemade treats my dog likes. Finally we stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. DH was home when we got back. We ate lunch and then left again.

We went to a craft show, went to look at motorcycles (I want one so bad) and then we stopped at two thrift stores to look at different things for my DH's costume for the adult egg hunt in a few weeks. FInally we get back and as they say....chill. I was working on a puzzle, the little girl was doing what she does (I think she was doing homework) and DH was snoozing in the recliner and trying to build shelves inthe basement. All in all it was a good day. I could have eaten better, but I will start again on Monday. DH is making ribs for dinner tomorrow, and I am going to eat these ribs.

B: blue berry bagle, vanilla iced latte

L: bean buritto, chicken chulupa

D: pork chop, green, beans, rice

S: cheese danish

I finished the day at 1988, over my usual day, but it is OK. Better than my previous day fiasco which I calculated out to be 2689.

Tomorrow..laundry day and I may think more about the chicken costume. I need to clean up around the house as well.

IIT is supposed to snow tomorrow so any other plans will be pending on the weather.  Have a great night and GO SOONERS! GOT TO LOVE THE MARCH MARDNESS!


Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Friday Mar 18, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Today would be most described as a complete failure. I decided sometime this morning while in the shower that I was going to leave work early. I wanted to just sit home and watch a basketball game and chill. DH had a doctor's appointment about his knee and he drove himself so it worked out well. I left work about 11:30 and was going to the store for some mozarella cheese and a bag of chips for dinner. DH texts and ask if I will stop by the bakery because he wanted a fritter. Well, OK, it is totally out of my way but I will do that for you.

So driving to the store, this dark cloud comes over me and I just start boohooing in the car. It was a sadness so deep I didn't and don't know where it came from so fast. I was just thinking how, in my life, I just never aspired to do anything. My boss says, he worked hard and has to thank his coworkers and friends for helping him get to his 'dream job'! And then I hear on the TV how a guy in Egypt worked so hard because he wanted to play in the NCAA basketball tournament...and he is. He didn't win, but he played in the tournament.

I am just so lost in what I want to do and it's hard to think about some times. It's hard to say I'm going to work and be the richest person in the world, because that's just not what I want to be. I don't want to be the boss and deal with other people's business and/or problems, so I'm just stuck in a place. So while I'm at the bakery the lady asks if I want to try a snoogle! What is a snoogle? She said it was puff pastry and cream cheese rolled up and iced with butter and sugar. OH yeah! I want to try a snoogle. She gives me one it is about 12-15 inches long and about 3 inches wide. So why don't you give me two, DH and the little girl would like to try it too. So she gives me two...and I'm not proud of this but I ate both of them, in the car, on the way home! Emotional eating anyone?

I just suck tonight! And then DH works every Saturday but he made a comment that his boss said no OT, Ok, so are you going to stay home? And he gets snarky and says, NO! I'm going to work and do what I have to do and then I'll come home? Whtat? You just said no OT! Well that implies everyone but me! What the hell? you don't make anykind of since! Why are you the only one who has to work OT? And then we just go round and round. I don't care if he works OT or not, but oh, but the way, your daughter is here....with me....alone....again! So you just go, you go and you do all the work you need to do! Azzhat!

So DH said the Dr. drained his knee and gave him steroids and maybe that will help his pain he's been having. He said it felt better already. We will see how long that works.

The little girl is here and I treated her hair for lice ....again! because apparently this is my goal in life to try and keep lice out of her hair because her mother won't for some reason. She is babbling away and won't stop, she said she was tired so maybe she will fade out soon! Because we have lots to do tomorrow! Errands to run, places to go!

B: blueberry bagel

S: balanced breaks

L: two 15 inch snoogles (I have no idea how many calories, I will jsut say six donuts)

D: turkey burger with mozerella cheese

I had a buckyeye candy on a peanut butter cookie and then....DH bought a strawberry pound scoop cake at Sam's and I had a scoop of that...


Al I can say  is I will be better tomorrow and hopefully I will get over my sad!

Have more MARCH MADNESS To watch and go OU!

Peace OUT!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/19/2016:
We all have days like this. I am sorry you had one today. I am an emotional eater. I can polish off 6 donuts in a morning. and keep on going for the rest of the day - or week for that matter, or life!! I think what is interesting about your post is - you are just so in touch with your feelings on many levels. I tend to stuff my emotions down inside and not acknowledge them until it's much later. About work - you say you are lost, but that isn't true. You know a lot of what you don't want to do - don't want to supervise people, put up with their "crap" etc....don't want to be the "boss" - over people, but have you ever thought about what you might like to do that would be you working a job that paid well, that didn't include supervisory duties? I know I feel the same way - I don't want to supervise others - I just want to do work and work with people, but I don't want to supervise and be responsible others- I did enough of that - it was called parenting - LOL! Dissatisfaction is the beginning of success!- just keep thinking - in a positive way - what you could do that you'd like to do that you would define as successful. What changes you would make to get there. I am sure you are successful already in many ways. Hang in there - today is another day. P.S. Shame on husband for grumbling at you. We'll assume he felt bad because of his knee and having to work on the weekend and cut him a break, this time. :-)

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has emotional break downs in the car. And parenting...I know right!

marshallsaya on 03/19/2016:
I'm so sorry you had such an emotional day. I've been there too, and it's not been long ago. I sat sobbing in my car one afternoon with a dairy queen blizzard in my hand, a large one at that. I ate the whole thing, and then sat sobbing because I ate it. I understand those moments it all just bursts out, all that you try to keep hidden from everyone else. The car is always my boohoo place. I pray you feel better today. (( Hugs )) ~Angie

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks for this post. I love dairy queen too!

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 17, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH and I picked up the little girl. No homework! She made a salad and I cooked some rice. DH grilled the steak out. After dinner we just played around, it was a good evening.

I slept all night, dog slept all night, DH well his knee was bothering him so he went downstairs and took some pain medicine and fell asleep in the recliner. He comes back to bed about 4:30. He was limping this morning, he has a followup appointment tomorrow, so I hope he tells them all the pain he is still having.

Good day at work today with the St. Patrick's day activities, I'm glad everyone participated, usually they are dead pan scientists who just stare at the computer screens. Now I will have to think of something for next time. But for now, I am going to concerntrate on DH's costume for the adult egg hunt.

D: steak, salad and rice - ended the night with 1960 calories, a little high for me, but the steak was sure good.

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

S: natural granola bar

L: piece of left over steak sandwich, orange

S: hard, almond crunch granola (I do not like - will not eat again)

DH took out ground turkey, will have to get creative with that.


DH is wanting to go to SAMs for some ribs to cook this weekend for the little girl, I said I would go with him.

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/17/2016:
Good day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2016:
I am so happy to hear how nice your day was. So cool that everyone played "their part" in the kitchen! Little girl must have loved the carefree night with you & your hubby. No homework sounds like a nice treat for the holiday! Schools are good places. More work places should be like that.

A friend of mine is a teacher in Atlanta. She posted on facebook that she's been incredibly sick, home 3 days from work. She wrote how if anyone is sick, they should stay home from work & not infect everyone. I replied to her post that I wish I could stay home, but my work doesn't pay me to be home. Teachers don't lose pay when they stay home. But most other companies do not allow so many sick days in a year & many folks use some of their sick days more as vaca days at my company since the minimum vacation (what I get right now) is 10 days....I wish workplaces were more considerate of sick workers. Going to work sick isn't easy when all we want to do is rest.

marshallsaya on 03/18/2016:
Sounds like you had a really great and fun day :)

innerpeace - Wednesday Mar 16, 2016

Weight: 312.3

I was up last night with the dog, this time it was the thunder making him act crazy barking at everything. I might have to invest in a hugging thundershirt I've seen advertised on TV.

Worked on files all day today. Still am in awe of how people keep stuff for 30-40 years without throwing it away. The people who even knew anything about it no longer worked here. I will never understand! One thing for sure I do NOT want to relocate this stuff.

My one main goal for tonight is to clean the bathroom sink, because my DH just won't. I told him before I moved up here I have issues about some things and the bathroom sink is one of them. Growing up either me or my sister (neither would admit to it) would leave toothpaste in the sink and not clean it out. My stepdad bought us two different colored tooth pastes to see who it was, well it wasn't me.To this day I must have a clean sink. My DH leaves everyhing from whiskers to toothpast to food particles from his bridge, in the sink and it grosses me out. Also being in the mlitary I've seen some things done in and to the poor sink I never want to see again and this also grosses me out. STOP READING NOW: one night a girl threw up in the sink and it didn't go down. The next morning everyone is disgusted. i had to wake her up and tell her to clean up the sink. She was being nasty and said she was. I said NOW, people need to use it! And then, I was in a leadership school and the women there were going out late at night and coming in right before class, instead of taking a shower they would hike their leg up on top on the sink and wash their hooha, right there! Nasty, nasty! I was complaining and my room mate told me it was a 'whorebath' trust when I say, somethings you can NEVER unsee!  Ergo, I must clean the sink tonight because....eww!

I should tell you about the heifer Karma. as I was coming downstairs this morning, my DH was telling me he shook the coffee creamer without the lid on and it went all over the kitchen, so he was cleaning it up on his hands and knees. About that time he picked up some confetti I had out for St. Patrick's day and he dumped that all over the table, of course I laughted. and as I went to take a drink of my vanilla ice latte, I sait the glass down on his glasses he laid there and spilled that all over the dining room table and floor! Just saying, I should have helped him instead of laughed!

B: toast and some vanilla iced latte

L: tuna, cottage cheese, crackers

S: sweet and salty protein bar

D: DH is grilling steak and something.

We are going to get the little girl and do some home work! Nothing really planned for tonight.

have a good one! and be kind to Karma! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/16/2016:
Our dogs! I lost sleep two nights this week because one of mine was ill. She's better after trip to vet! Poor thing. Have good evening.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/16/2016:
I think the worst type of cleaning is cleaning the shower! ugh!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/17/2016:
lol...now I see why you need a clean sink! those are too many awful experiences. If I had them, I'd need a clean sink too!

marshallsaya on 03/17/2016:
My dog barked all night. I don't know what was going on, but he wouldn't settle down. he's a great dane, so his bark is loud and echos.

innerpeace - Tuesday Mar 15, 2016

Weight: 312.3

I was up at 2:30 with mah dog! Some nights he sleeps, some he doesn't. I went back to bed about 3:30, I did drink a glass of water. It took me a few minutes to fall back to sleep and I didn't want to get up when the alarm went off, so no zumba today.  My DH and I did walk all aound the mall, looking for me some shoes. I did get in over 5K steps.

We ate dinner at Boston Market.

Some people at work, I swear! Found out today that our office moved was pushed up to November. It was March 2017 but it looks like the fiscal spending will be this FY instead of next. So I will have to drive to downtown CLE again, that's about a 45 minute commute. I'll really miss this 20 minute ride. Oh well, I'll enjoy it for now.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

L: tuna, cottage cheese, crackers, orange

S: sweet and salty proten bar

D: rotisserie chicken, broiled potatoes and mac and cheese. I ate two pieces of that sweet cornbread.

DH and I went to vote, sometimes, I get the feeling I'm wasting my time. God help us all!

Just now getting home and have a few things to do, so I will wish ou all a good night! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Monday Mar 14, 2016

Weight: 312.3

For dinner last night I settled on a bowl of Lucky Charms, not the healthiest of cereal, but it was what I thought I wanted at the time. I think I would not have been satisfied with anything last night. I ended the night with 1649 calories. I am ok with this, but they were bad calories.

So I'm thinking I slept pretty good because I popped right up this morning and tackled a little bit of zumba. I was happy until DH gives me an apple fritter for breakfast! What the hell. But I've been running around at work today so I'm sure the extra calories I have burned off.

B: apple fritter (360 calories) my toast has (220 calories), iced vanilla latte.

S: sweet and salty yogurt protein bar

L: chicken, cottage cheese, crackers and orange

no afternoon snack

Got most of the stuff out for the St. Patrick's day, but I have been busy so I will finish the next rest of it tomorrow. And people at work sucked today! If ever I have the opportunity to telework or work from home, I'm taking it!

I will do something else aftern I get home.

Have a greate evening. IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/14/2016:
Have a healthy week. Good going on the zumba.

hollybelle on 03/14/2016:
I love Zumba!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
Lol, I can't agree more. I hate being around sucky work people. I especially hate being around complainers or people at work who bring you down. the worst. now, I stay away from them.

innerpeace - Sunday Mar 13, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Relaxing raiiny Sunday. DH went shopping, I stayed and watched lots of tv and snacked on dangerous things: left over candy and gold fish. I started the laundry.. DH returned and I tasted two different pretzel mixes. sweet and salty and smores. DH then made a chicken salad sandwich on flatbread, I ate half of that.

B:  two pieces of toast, iced vanilla latte

L: no real organized lunch, just lots of snacking.

D: nothing heavy, no plans yet.

Received a text from my again. Uncle is not doing good, they called in hospice and he is not eating or drinking anything. For the past year my mom and sister have been taking care of him and I feel bad that I wasn't there to help. I probably won't be able to make it to any funeral or memorial they have for him. I just don't have the money to fly and/or take off work and drive for two days. I will see what happens and if they need me, then I wil go. I will just take off work and drive myself, leave DH here, he has no leave.

I for some reason am feeling bad about this past week. I feel I didn't  give 100% to my effort. I will take the rest of the evening and recommit and do things right again tomorrow. I will concentrate on drinking more water.

Let's do this....!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/13/2016:
Don't waste too much time feeling bad about the past week. Start this week fresh and go forth and conquer!! You sound like you are off to a good start with the Let's do this comment - Yay!

cybermom4 on 03/14/2016:
That is a lot on your mind. I hope you can make your plans work.

grannyannie on 03/14/2016:
It's a new week. Onward and upward.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/14/2016:
when home for a day on the weekend, I also prefer snacking to an organized lunch :)

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