- Monday May 03, 2004
I had a long, long weekend making up drill and having drill weekend at the same time. I subjected myself to 4 days of torture willingly. However, my commander did not say a word to me the entire weekend, how�s that for sarcasm? I didn�t have any problems drinking my water and I kept busy so food wasn�t on my mind as much as usual.
Other than drill, my four day mission in hell was uneventful. I was sitting in a meeting and someone told me to smile, because I would ruin the commander�s day. I just commented that I wasn�t going to smile, because he ruined my day every time I saw him.
I did get notification that someone wrote checks on my account. One was written to the grocery store for $46 dollars. I have mixed emotions at first I think, man they must have really wanted something to eat and then I think, why didn�t they just go ahead and purchase hundreds of dollars worth of stuff? Then I also think they probably just bought beer and cigarettes and I get really steamed.
I kept my exercise up, except for Saturday, which is my day off, and I have my second weigh in today at WW. I hope everyone has a great day and many continued successes. IP
- Wednesday Apr 28, 2004
I did really well at the Mexican restaurant. I just took out a handful of chips and put them on that little plate they give you so I would know exactly how many I ate, and the salsa was great. I didn�t eat any queso or flour tortillas so I am very happy with myself. For lunch I had a grilled fajita chicken breast covered with cheese and grilled onions and green peppers, with a few beans and I had a sopapilla for dessert. I think the total was 9 points all together. So I learned today, you can go out and enjoy Mexican food and still stay within your points. Dinner was my fat free hot dogs and a salad. Right now I�m particularly happy that I don�t have to cook for anyone else but me, I�m not sure they would have been happy with just hotdogs.
I�m addicted to American Idol so I had to watch that and then I did the 3 mile WATP tape. I get tired of listening to Leslie Sansone talk so I just put in a CD and turn it up loud enough to cover her voice. I did purchase two Richard Simmons �Sweatin to the Oldies� tapes and look forward to getting them. I have drill this weekend and that will probably wreak havoc with my emotional state, with my battle with my weight. And I found out this morning, that the so called thieves who stole my purse also took my beret, two pairs of glasses (prescription sun glasses and another pair of regular glasses) and three prescriptions (antibiotic, muscle relaxer and pain killer)�son of a bleeps�they really make me hate the general population.
I hope you all have a great day and conquer your temptations. I still haven't thrown away the Junior Mints, but I haven't eat them either, most times I forget they are sitting on the kitchen table. I'll think about it tonight. IP
- Tuesday Apr 27, 2004
I weighed in last night at WW down 4 pounds. WOO HOO I�m all for that. And when I look back at the week, I don�t recall suffering or going through withdrawal symptoms of any type. So my obvious conclusion is, if I made it through the first week with no problem, then the following weeks shouldn�t be a problem at all.
Funny story though, my mother called and asked me to pick up some ice cream because it was on sale. She wanted two � gallons of ice cream, one vanilla and one butter pecan. This is not tempting to me, because I�m really not an ice cream fan due to sensitive teeth. Anyway, I had just finished with my WW meeting and I am buying these two � gallons of ice cream and when I get to the cashier, she is giving me the funniest look ever. You know the kind, like when your top is buttoned up wrong, or worse yet buttons have popped open. Anyway I pay for the ice cream and get in my car and notice I still had my WW name tag on. I laughed, I bet that cashier was thinking �Right, and weight watchers sure works for you?� I can imagine the sarcasm and what she was thinking.
My best friend, God bless her, made a Easter basket for me. (I know it is a bit late, but that is just how we work here, always in procrastination mode or we never get in a hurry.) She gave me an OU mug and stuffed animal and many, many plastic eggs filled with jelly beans and Cadbury cream eggs and a huge movie size box of Junior Mints (my all time favorite candy on earth). They sit on the kitchen table and I haven�t had any cravings whatsoever. My dilemma is should I get rid of them or just leave them? They haven�t been a problem so far, but there is always the moment of weakness.
Last night I had Oscar Mayer fat free hot dogs for dinner wrapped in a flour tortilla. They were good, but I do like those fat free hotdogs. I also had some grapes. I tried to drink all my water but it is very hard to do. I did the 3 mile WATP and went to bed.
Today will be a special challenge, one of the supervisors is leaving and they are taking her to Ted�s Mexican Escondito, one of the best Mexican restaurants around. I will probably have to dig into my flex points. I�ll let you all know how it goes.
Have a good day and great success.
- Monday Apr 26, 2004
I had a pretty rough weekend and it didn't involve food. Friday night I went to a bar, not to drink or party mind you, but to pick up some pictures my friend had of mine. Her husband runs the kareoke machine and she goes to shoot pool. The pictures were of my group of class mates that graduated in December. Anyway, one of these days I will learn, but during the whole 25 minutes I was in the bar, someone broken into my car and stole my purse and lots of other paperwork that was in my car. Each day, stupid stuff like this, makes me hate the general public more and more. No wonder I never leave my house.
As soon as I saw that my purse was missing, I rushed home and called the credit card companies and everyone I could think of to cancel my credit cards. Thank God for 1-800 numbers. I was so mad at my stupidity that I was going to eat, but instead I started exercising at 11:00 o'clock at night.
Early Saturday morning I was the first one at the bank to cancel checks and make sure my account wasn't compromised. The lady I worked with was very efficient and understanding. And then it starts. I have to get everything replaced, which won't be hard, but I did have some photos that can't be replaced. I did call those credit reporting agencies and had a fraud alert put on my SSN, so maybe that will help. Then I called the police. The officer I spoke to was "why didn't you call us last night". I told him because I didn't want to wait on them to arrive when whoever stole my purse could start charging stuff up. My money was my first priority. He just snickered like he understood.
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I didn't want to leave my house and see people. I did clean out my car and from now on, there will be absolutely nothing left in my car. No papers, no containers, nothing.
My eating was OK. I followed the plan, but I didn't get all the water drank. My first weigh in is tonight. I kinda anxious to see what the scale reads. I hope you all have many fabulous successes.
- Friday Apr 23, 2004
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I have a girl at work that helps me out. We eat lunch together and try to keep each other motivated.
Breakfast: non fat Cherry Cheesecake yogart Lunch: broiled chicken breast, egg noodles and carrots Dinner: chicken wrap (I took fat free chicken breast lunch meat, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, croutons)
I tried to do the Power 90 step 1-2 exercise tape. I really didn�t realize how bad of shape I�m in and I really have more respect for the people who do yoga. There is a small amount of power yoga included and�oh my gawd�I thought I would die. Tonight I will try the step 1-2 toning tape with the bands.
It is supposed to rain all day Saturday so it looks like a great day to catch up on house work. I am going to an Arbonne (A Swedish Skin Care Line) Party in the afternoon and then a Passion Party in the evening, which is an adult type party. I�m looking forward to that. Sunday if the grass dries out enough, I may mow and I must clean out my car.
I hope you all have a great weekend and have many successes. Jo Ann
- Thursday Apr 22, 2004
(Weight Watchers Flex Points)
Wow, I can�t believe how long it has been since I�ve written in my diary. I have been focusing my attention on other things besides me and my weight. I finally graduated the university with my bachelor�s degree so now I can�t use study and research as an excuse not to. My son also moved back to Texas to be with his dad, and he was my last excusable reason that I used to not do something.
As you can notice, I have gained instead of loose weight and I was finally �cornered� by my commander at drill who not-so-politely told me �I was shirking my military duties as an NCO, I wasn�t honoring my commitment or fulfilling my military obligations�. I couldn�t argue, all I could do was let him see it through my stand point.
I tried to explain, how humiliated I felt coming to drill knowing how I look and then expecting my soldiers to respect me and do what I told them to do. I told him I didn�t like being this way. I was talking to my therapist and I discovered it was a combination of two problems: not wanted to be deployed again (with my unit) and not being hurt in a relationship. I was deployed during the first Desert Storm and have no desire whatsoever to go back. With half of my unit already deployed, I just know that if/when I drop my tonnage (impressively large amount of weight) I�ll be on the first plane flyin� outta here. Also when I saw my ex, for the first time in six years, my heart just about jumped out of my chest. I still love him. My mom thinks I�m a nut, but I can�t help the way I feel. He remarried almost eight years ago and is happy, to say the least. I just can�t seem to get passed things.
Anyway, in spite of recent events, I have come to the conclusion (again) that I must lose weight. I have told everyone at work and I think I have their support, at least for now. I joined Weight Watchers (for the fourth time), invested in Walk Away the Pounds, Tai Bo, Beach Body 90 and Pilates tapes with high hopes of finally achieving a weight loss goal.
I am glad to see old names and many new ones and hope journaling will keep me motivated just as before.
- Thursday Sep 11, 2003
I sent pictures to Breakaway today. Holy cow, I always forget how bad I look in pictures. I am so fat, you are right, this is sure to motivate. Thanks for doing this.
I had a bad headache yesterday so I went home and went to sleep. The neighbor woke me up complaining about his gate. I had a new fence put up because the one there was rotting and would not stand up any longer. In the process, his gate fell off (because of rotten wood) and the installer didn't reattach it. The neighbor was complaining that the installer should have put it back up. The installer refused saying the post it was on was rotten and it wasn't their responsibility to replace rotten post, so they weren't hanging his gate back up. What a nightmare. So why is this my fault? I replaced the whole freaking fence, just fix your gate already.
I have been getting up early to fix breakfast for my son. He is stubborn and won't eat lunch at school, and if I don't fix him breakfast he won't eat until I fix dinner. I had scrambled eggs and a few pieces of bacon for breakfast. We went to an Italian restaurant for lunch (someone's birthday) and I ordered spinach, artichoke pasta with smoked chicken. It was great. I ate half and took the other home and ate after I woke up.
I thought about exercising, but because of headache and TOM, I just skipped out again. I did at least open the box and look at the product. I have motivation, especially looking at those pictures again.
I need to start on my study in depth paper, my topic is The Demise of a Nation: The Fast Food Epidemic. I was roaring to go, but like everything else, I have fallen into a funk and can't get up. I hope you all have great successes today. Jo Ann
- Wednesday Sep 10, 2003
After reading lots of diaries, I have come to the conclusion that I have used every excuse there is to NOT exercise. I currently have problems with watching reruns on television of Seinfeld and Friends. I watch them everyday for 1.5 hours and I have usually seen them all at least once, but I can�t make myself get my ass off the couch and exercise. I will try harder, and just not turn on the television when I get home from work.
I had drill this past weekend and I have that monthly reminder of how much weight I�ve put on when I see all the fit and trim soldiers all around me, but it doesn�t help much, because they have put up with it for so long.
I suffered the past week riding with my son while he practiced driving. Oh my gawd, what a hair raising experience, I swear I�ve aged ten years in less than 7 days. He did pass his driving exam and is a licensed driver. How scary is that?
I will try and use all the equipment, taking up space in my garage, maybe if I get the exercise started, the eating right will just kick in and begin.
�Some people dream of success�while others wake up and work hard at it!� OK I think I�m finally ready to work hard at it.
- Thursday Sep 04, 2003
Hey all, fighting my own little war again. My son tells me to get out and meet new people. Yeah right! Bless his heart, he tries to motivate me. Tomorrow he goes to take his driving test...I really am scared for him to drive. I can't let go, he will always be my baby.
I will do WATP tonight, I still haven't been able to conquer the ellypical trainer yet, it kills my thighs, which is probably a good thing, but I can't stay on there to long. I was stupid and ordered Power90, I am going to start those exercise tapes whenever they arrive. I've heard mixed comments about it.
I just wish I would get over this thing I have with people...I didn't realize how bad it was until I went to a car dealership with my son to look at cars. Have you ever noticed how the salesmen just houver, even when you tell them you are 'just looking', no, I don't want to carry on conversation with you and it's none of your business what I do. I know they have a job...but pleeaaase just give me some breathing room.
Hope you all have continued success. Oh, Scruff I love your idea, I read so many diaries and never leave a message, sometimes because I don't really have time and others because I really don't have anything to add. Jo Ann
- Monday Aug 11, 2003
I watched a movie last night and laughed out loud at a solution someone came up with to lose weight. Are you ready for this? We all need to hire a �food slapper�. That is hire someone to follow us around everywhere we go and just be there to slap the food right out of our hand, right before we put it in our mouth. It was comedic, but I guess it would work, I could just see myself sneaking into the bathroom just to eat something good.
I went out and bought me an elliptical trainer�it is much harder than I thought. I was huffing and puffing after three minutes. It is out in the garage with the rest of the equipment I have accumulated. I have three machines, that don�t belong to me, that are just stored there. A health rider, Body by Jake hip and thigh machine and ab machine (those I can�t figure out how to use or I would) a Nordic track, crossbow, an old treadmill (that works) and now my elliptical trainer. You would think I would gather up enough initiative to get off my butt and use them. I just need to install mirrors on the garage walls and start my own gym.
Sunday was the last day for one of the guys at drill. He is moving to Minnesota so we decided to take him to lunch. Everyone decided on Zio�s an Italian joint. I decided not to go, just because I didn�t want to challenge myself and get fattening stuff and binge on the delicious, hot, fresh bread they serve in massive quantities. I felt bad afterwards for not going and wishing the guy good luck. I�m sure I�ll get over it in time, he was a good soldier.
My eating was good and I drank more water than usual, I can still increase that. I hope you all have a great day and continued success. Jo Ann