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innerpeace - Wednesday Aug 24, 2016

Weight: 311.9

It's official - the people around me trive on freakin' drama.

Yesterday both DH and I got to work 1/2 hour early to leave in time to get the girl and take her to her open house, find her classes and meet the teachers. Once we got there, I saw her step sister, who waved politely, said hello and said she was not ready for school to start. She was all happy, giddy, nervous. So DH, the girl and I walked on and looked around the school. The girl acts all shy and didn't talk to the teachers, I sure hope she does today.

So we go and pick up my expensive repaired car only to be told that it still makes the noise it does,..but not as bad. EXCUSE ME! It was in here to get the noise fixed. I told the man he probably sold me brakes, rotors and crap I didn't need and he still didn't fix the problem. Oh but I fixed the safety issues he said...NOT the reason it was in the shop. He then says for an additional $700 he will place the shocks and struts and the noise would go away! I think not. You had your chance and didn't fix it. I surely did not want to pay him what I owed, but ALAS I did, took my car and drove home.

Anyway, once we got home, DH wants to ask the girl why her step sister didn't speak to her. And this drama queen says, oh, she doesn't like you and JoAnn, so she didn't say anything to me. WTH? I never done anything to this girl and then I said...well for your information she did speak to me, so she don't like me? The girl then says...oh she might have talked to you but when we are at home she starts hating on you. I told that girl, I DO NOT CARE about anything that goes on in your house over there. Then she starts in about her mom found a way she could clean her shoes, I ask if her mom found a way to look for lice in her hair?  Anyway, I cannot stand this. I just may go back to Oklahoma with my mom on Saturday! I am glad tomorrow is the last day I have to see this little person for awhile or else I would probably say something I would regret!]

We had Taco Bell for dinner

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese, diet dr. pepper

L: roast beef and swiss, chips, apple

D: 2 tacos

S: brownie

Today I had an appointment for the yearly mammogram...this is scary for me as I had to go for a biopsy last year, so am hoping they don't find anything mysterious again...oh and it hurt!

Have a great evening. IP

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/25/2016:
speak to the girl & tell her what to do. help her. demonstrate how to speak to others. i was shy...i wish someone helped me along then. you need to teach her. she's socially a bit awkward and needs your help.

Car mechanics = such thieves!

The stepsister is young. not well advised. she's another that needs parental / guardian guidance love & support.

i've always loved the taste of taco bell. Currently craving meat right now - 10am lol.

innerpeace - Tuesday Aug 23, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Got home and DH was trying to cook his steak roulade, it fell apart, but was still good.

flank steak with onions, mushrooms, spinach and provolone cheese, left over corn casserole and salad.

Mom and I went to the thrift store and I bought a lot of crafty stuff. I made a box with a bunny and was going to give it to the girl, but it all depends. Tonight we have open house.

I dropped by car off at the mechanic and need new lower control arms on the front suspension, rotors and brakes...costing me way too much money $1800 freaking bucks! WTH. I really don't want to pay this, but I also don't want to buy a new car and have a car payment. If it will just last 18 more months I will have everything paid off.

Mom said she wanted to leave on Saturday, this has made me very sad. I keep thinking this may be the last time I see my mom and knowing that she is going back to everyone who wants something from her, me I just wanted her company. She cannot get comfortable at my house and has a hard time climbing up and down the stairs. I will miss her. However, I am going back home in March next year and will surely see her then.

B: bagel with cream cheese, diet dr. pepper

L: left over steak, balanced breaks

S: protein bar

d: supposed to be tacos, however, this may change depending on the time.

Have a great night and here's hoping a stress free Wendesday!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Diamond50 on 08/23/2016:
Car repair bills drive me nuts too. So do car payments though as well. That's frustrating for sure. Your steak dinner sounds delicious. Have a pleasant evening and enjoy open house tonight.

innerpeace - Monday Aug 22, 2016

Weight: 311.9

So a bad weekend was had by me...I need to vent for self preservation!

Friday no one could decide what to eat, we left with intentions to go to CiCi's but there was a line and we didn't want to wait so we ended up ant Five Guys instead. This night after we got home I applied the medical lice treatment that I got from the doctor's office. Asked the girl if her mother did anything at all, she told me no. The good thing though at least the mother was washing the bed clothes, I know this because she text me like we are best friends in the middle of the day, telling me and asking if DH and I were going to buy the school supplies. I already told her this.

D: Five guys hamburger, little fries

Saturday, the girl and I get up at the butt crack of dawn and wash the medicine out of her head, go and buy and/or try to buy school supplies. The list read black or blue pens, but this child insisted on both, however, Wal-Mart, Drug Mart, Big Lots and the Dollar General did not have blue pens left (all sold out) everyone wanted freaking blue pens this day. I was getting upset one because the girl was stressing over not having blue pens and two because why, why can't her mother, who don't work run all over town and get the stupid blue pens. Luckily we found them at the Family Dollar store. OMG. Then I asked the girl if she finished taking her ear medine and she starts off by saying...my mom said....just stop, i don't want to hear any lies. So she goes on to tell me she hasn't taken the medicine since she left our house Friday last week. WTF!! DH text her mom and she said sure, there are two pills left. Ok my calculations are we picked her up Friday at 4:30 so there should have been three pills left anyway, the girl said her ear was still muffled could I please make another appointment to see what was wrong with her ear! So in between the blue pen fiasco we did go to a few garage sales with my mom.

We had plans to see BIG the musical and go to dinner. We wanted to go to a German Restaurant which was good but once we got to the theater, they lost power and everyone was hot and cranky waiting for them to make a decision on whether or not to wait longer or reschedule. No refunds so now we will watch Into the Woods come November, which I really don't care to see. So I am still out $$$ because mom will be gone by then. No theater, so then we get home and do what we do.

B: bacon and egg biscuit

L: meat stick

D: chicken, speatzl, cabbage

Sunday I woke up and treated the girls hair again...NO BUGS but there were still nits, so I combed and combed and combed through her hair some more. I am so sick of combing through this girls hair. I hate doing it and I hate more that I have to keep doing it because her mother does ABSOLUTELY nothing!! So DH hasn't talked to his daughter all of this time and then he comes downstairs and asked her about her ear. I just looked at him funny and he says, what? why are you looking at me like that! I said, oh no reason, I'm waiting to see what story she tells you. And she tells him something totally different and OMG I can't take the lying and BS anymore! I just don't get what people get out of all the lying! And then she has enough nerve to ask me if I am almost finished? WTF??? do you actually think I like doing this? Are you freaking kidding me??? I told her to sit there and be still or I was going to cut that Sh!t off! I couldn't take much more, my DH was yelling and cussing and my mom came down there and asked are you enjoying this fine Sunday? I just laughed and said, it's just a normal Sunday. I finish her hair and both of them go and shower and go shopping. I stayed home and washed clothes.

When they returned we ate dinner and the girl got her stuff to go home (her school supplies, shoes and clothes) and made the comment, that when we go to open house on Tuesday would we get the rest of her supplies then? I just wanted to tell her to get out, but instead I told her to sit back down and let me comb through her hair again.

B: blue berry bagel with cream cheese, ice vanilla latte

L: peanut butter m&ms

D: pork loin, salad and corn casserole

S: brownie

This morning I drank the last of the iced vanilla latte. My DH went all over town to several stores and no one carries them anymore. I was looking on the website at Maxwell House and it reads it is a discontinued item. Oh well this lovely stuff has been a part of my life for the last 20 years, I guess I will just have to say good bye! I will miss you, you brought lots of deliciousness to my life!

I was never so happy as for my weekend to end! Hello Monday!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Diamond50 on 08/22/2016:
Sounds like a rough weekend. Hope this week goes better for you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/23/2016:
you know Amazon has good deals...i'd ever order the pens for you and ship it to you (i get free 2day shipping!)

damn man. I know you want to get rid of the lice before school begins. PLEASE momma lady. you are doing great. You do more than i could ever fathom doing. I give you props and hugs. Take care, you are a heck of a wonderful woman xoxoxo <3

innerpeace - Friday Aug 19, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Got home and mom was weeding the flowers on the side of the house. She makes me feel so bad because I can't remember a time when I did this..EVER. So I finished helping her. Then she said we should mow, so DH jumped on the rider and I was pushing the mower around the edges and through the spaces he can't get. It wasn't planned but I'm glad we got it done before the weekend.

B: blueberry bagel, iced vanilla latte

L: turkey swiss sandwich, wise chips, gummy fruit

D: turkey spaghetti

S: banana pudding

After we finished the yard work I tried to watch the Browns and Indians, flipping back and forth, I finally went to bed. Slept awful, was up about 2:30 and watched an episode of Law & ORder Criminal Intent and then went back to bed.

Work is crap. I hate having to do something time and again because people can't make up their minds what they want!

I'm glad it's Friday.

Have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 08/19/2016:
Push mowing is one of my favorite exercises. Your T.V. flipping sounds as bad as the Bungals and the Reds. Peace.

Donkey on 08/20/2016:
I haven't been sleeping well myself lately. Wonder what's going around that is making this happen...

Horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2016:
lol...i don't wanna write it but might as well - I hear you on "work is crap." lol...it's amazing what we must do for the $! haha I was also extremely happy it was the weekend this time around.

innerpeace - Thursday Aug 18, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Took a few days off to spend with my mom, for some reason I have a hard time getting on the computer at home. And then been super busy at work.

Thursday I took the girl to the doctor for head lice medicine. Yeah, they surely suck. Once I told them this is the first time I've sought professional help they kinda eased up about it. OMG, well I didn't even use the treatment, because the girl was going back to her mom's house and I thought I would be wasting my time. We get her back tomorrow so I will do it then...maybe. Then the doctor acted offended when I asked if he could check the girl's ear, but gave her some medicine to take for 'fluid in her ear'.

Friday, mom and the girl and I went to the West side market lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, bread, cheese anything you can think of...and even more people. I picked up some brocolli, cauliflower, corn and a tomato. Only to not use it right away and my brocolli and cauliflower go bad in two days. Mom said, well you really don't know how long its been sitting there. I guess. I don't think I trust buying meat there either, what do they do with it? How long do they keep it? Gross!

Friday night the girl goes home. Saturday night I IM her remding her to take her ear medicine. She IM'ed me back telling me NO because her her mom and Marty were fighting and it was 9:00 pm and she hadn't had dinner yet. I asked if she wanted us to bring her something, she replied No my grandma is. Anyway, I IM'ed her again Sunday, reminding her to take her medicine and I have been blocked. DH emailed her mother and she says she blocked all her friends because she lied and was being punished. Not the story we got last night when DH picked her up. Oh well, one liar begats another!

Mom brings drama too. My sister called, she is in the hospital because she 'fell' down and broke her jaw. I asked her who hit her, she replied...I fell. Whatever! Since my sister is in the hospital, she can't put money on my nephew's books who is in prison, so he calls my mom and whines that he needs this and he needs that, so of course since my sister can't do it, my mom feels obligated to take care of this grown man in prison. And then my oldest nephew texts and texts saying their refrigerator is broke, he has no money because they bought new shoes and school supplies for their kids and can't afford to fix or get a new refrigerator. The text said they have 'pawned' everything and just can't scrape enough money up, of course my mom sends them money too. I used to get mad at her. I said there is a line above help that you seem to cross, she says I know. She then said, I guess I just help them becaues no one was ever around to help me! This just broke my heart. I love my mom to pieces but my family is dragging her down big time...and I hate to see it. I just never really know how bad it is being up here.

I have been eating well, not over doing it! I think mom said she was going to stay until Labor Day and then head back to Oklahoma. Still unsure of weather she is riding the bus, I did say I would drive her back if she wanted. No plans yet.

Until then...the sun will rise again tomorrow.

I hope you all have a great evening and I will be back tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/18/2016:
yes some days are just too busy for DD...glad to see an entry though :)

Man this little girl as way too many health issues...i hope that she feels better soon...sometimes ears get wax build-up - i have heard of drs actually removing ear wax? sometimes confused for fluid build-up...

Oh man. I do hope your mom feels better....that is horrible - the abuse. That is really unfortunate and i am sorry it happened.

Despite it all, I am so glad that you are doing well for yourself, taking care of yourself, despite the outside / inside challenges within your family / loved ones. It is definitely important to still try and take care of yourself - because nobody will do it for you - but you. <3

puddles on 08/18/2016:
you have a lot of stuff going on good job on staying on track with your food.

Diamond50 on 08/19/2016:
Sounds like you have had tons on the go but you have managed to keep your food on track. That's awesome!

innerpeace - Wednesday Aug 10, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Monday mom cooked old fashioned food.

B: bagel with cream cheese, iced tea

L: left over goulash, green beans, mashed potatoes, gummy fruit

D: pinto beans, fried potatoes, boiled cabbage

Ended the day with 1328. When i was younger I did not like pinto beans, tonight they were deliscious for some reason. My house was full of musical farts all night long. I helped the girl with her camp shirt decoration.

Tuesday we used the left over beans and had a taco Tuesday burrito Tuesday night.

B: babel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: 1/2 turkey pastrami sandwich, banana, gummy fruite snack

D: burrito (with beans, ground turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomoto, avocado) it was tasty - hard to count the calories I went high


DH is having issues with his ex - i really hate this person.

He was telling her the girl still had headlice and that she was going to the doctor on Thursday. Now I texted her on our first day of vacation and told her the girl had headlice she never texted back. However, she is telling DH that she always checks her hair and never finds lice, that she must have gotten it from camp...this is NOT a sleepover camp. And she said...'well you have her this week, take care of it'...OMG and it just goes on and on. Well he doesn't take care of it...I DO. I am feeling rather like an abused step mother. = stress = over eating. Sometimes I just get aggravated and think how stress free it was before I moved here.

Oh well I will deal with my life.

Have a great night!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 08/10/2016:
I have heard that Herbal Essence or other herbal shampoos with rosemary work well to repel lice. Hope your day improves!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/10/2016:
OMG LOL to the musical farts....i just can't ... you have me cracking up at work!

love cabbage too...hate the farts!

OhioRaven on 08/11/2016:
Don't stop the Music.

innerpeace - Monday Aug 08, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Friday dinner we picked up the girl and she is hacking and coughing (as usual), we opted for Golden Coral, because they serve "I don't know" and "I don't care" really well. I had a salad, slice of prime rib and only two rolls and a slice of coconut creme pie (from my mom). Ended the day with 1867. Friday night I treated the girl's hair and she hacked and coughed. DH gave her something and it helped. We stopped at the Dollar store and picked up some crafting supplies. The girl and I were going to decorate her camp shirt for her to wear the last day of camp which is Wednesday.

Saturday - DH was up at 6:00 to go to work with hopes of leaving at noon. The girl started hacking at 6:30 and laid in bed just coughing, I say she's 11 she can get up and get something for her cough, but no...she just hacks and coughs. I get up and get her a 1/4 dose cup of off brand NyQuil and she only drank half of that because I washed the cup out and put it back on the bottle. I was selfish, I was tired, I wanted to sleep, I didn't want to coddle the girl at 6:30 in the morning. She woke up groggy about 8:30 - 9:00. I apologized and told her she can get up and take something, she takes the same thing all the time. We left the house and went to garage sales, thrift stores, just out of the house. Mom wasn't feeling well and wanted dropped off at the Acute Care Center while I took the girl to Home Depot for their monthly children's craft. Picked mom up and garage saled so more. I came away with a few odds and ends, but my major buy was my king size headboard for $10.00. And it looks spectacular. I put a pork roast in the crock pot

B: toast with peanut butter, iced vanilla latte

no lunch

D: pork roast, roasted potatoes and green beans, jello, chocolate graham cracker cookies

Total calories: 1562

Sunday - up at 4:00 with a headache - went back to bed about 6:30 and slept till 9:00. Laundry and relaxing this day. DH and the girl went shopping - mom and I were just there.

B: toast - iced vanilla latte

D; goulash, mashed potatoes, green beans - (mom cooked) and four cookies

Total calories: 1341

Received a call back from my doctor about my MRI results. She told me the radiologist found a 9mm lesion on my pituitary gland - It has been there for twenty years, however, it has grown about 5-6mm, last measurement was 3mm. She wants me to go see the endoctrinologist for a more indepth evaluation. This probably does not cause the headaches. I also am supposed to make an appointment with the pulmonary clinic to pick up the CPAP for the sleep apnea machine, which is probably causing the headaches. I will do this shortly.

crazy work day. I hope you all have a great week!



Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/08/2016:
is the jello sugar free? lately, jello has been my go-to. I made 4 packages today. All 4 servings. I can't wait to go home & try some. :)

goulash sounds yummy...it's all veggies right?

She still has the lice!? I heard that lice become immune after 3x of the same product and that you will have to change products? was talking to someone about lice on Thursday night, haha. An older woman that got it (she's a teacher - teaches preschool).

sorry to hear about the medical report, but hoping it's not the worst.

had two small lattes myself today. ugh.

Diamond50 on 08/09/2016:
I'm not sure if you have used a CPAP machine before or not. My sister uses one and says that it literally changed everything for her in terms of how she felt. She says the difference is incredible though it did take her a while to adjust to using it. Hope it helps you. Sorry to hear your other results. Sending positive vibes as you go for further evaluation for this.

innerpeace - Friday Aug 05, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Yesterday I forgot to mention that our neighborhood was egged and bologna'd. There were about six egg cartons thrown around the block that I had seen and DH's truck had been egged along with the rest of the neighbors' cars and garage doors. One neighbor's truck even had about five or six bologna slices stuck to it. One neighbor said the bologna eats off the paint. WTH? if it eats of vehicle paint what does it do to a body? Anyway, when I finally got home from my 45 minute torture chamber the neighbors were still talking about it. And though I was thinking it is a high school prank they are snippy and panicky and calling it vandalism and destruction of property and now there are twelve cartons of eggs used and so on.

I did go to the MRI and I have deduced that I am clousterphobic, I could not do the MRI. Once I was being slid into the chamber, my arms were all squished up and I felt I had no room to breathe, so I told them, I just can't do this. So then the lady told me they have an MRI machine with a bigger barrel. OK, I will try that. I was so uncomfortable in that one as well. I couldn't breath, I truely felt restricted and thought I would have more room in a coffin. I have had MRIs before, but today....it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to physically remember to breathe or I would have completely freaked out. "OK JoAnn just breathe, you can get through this!" Once I was brought out to get the injection of dye, the technician put a cover over my arms, why? I do not know, but then I got hot and tried to inch the sheet off with my fingers and got told to be still! Once it was over, I was dripping with sweat, my feet were hot and I had the worst tension headache EVER! And then the technician recommended I take a valium before coming next time. Let me just say what I was thinking...heifer that microadenoma has been up there for 20 years, I don't think I will EVER get in there again! But I just nodded in a friendly way and said ok. I was tramatized.

D: Taco Bell - ended the night with way more calories than I like 2145

Not looking forward to this weekend with the girl!

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: protein bar

L: turkey pastrami, chips, gummy fruit, apple

D: no idea

Have a great weekend!


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/05/2016:
Def a prank...typical of high school kids right?!

sorry to hear about the MRI...maybe the bigger will help.

honestly, it's "mind of matter." just do it girl...you can do it.

maybe you were too busy leading up to the MRI...and you couldn't relax.

you can do it....!

puddles on 08/05/2016:
I would be the same way in that machine. I have problems with elevators so I can just imagine. Thank God I have no health issues and have not had to be put through these tests. Take care.

OhioRaven on 08/05/2016:
Good post today. I'm a little claustrophobic too. Thanks for sharing.

innerpeace - Thursday Aug 04, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up DH and the girl. Didn't have much to say to her as I am still mad over something she did during vacation. We talked to her about it, I talked to her about it, but she still don't get that she is one nasty little heifer!

Her mom did not do her hair, so I told her I wasn't doing it either for her to go back to her mom's hair and do whatever it is they do over there. We pick her up on Friday. I will do her hair then and again while she is with us for the next week. This is the last one for the summer so I am glad.

DH and girl walked the dog. Mom and I washed dishes.

D: grilled chicken, mashed caulifower, baked beans, jello

Ended the day with 1626 calories. I would like to be below 1500 so I am getting better.

Mom swept the stairs to the basement and then swept the basement in front of the washer and dryer. This I have meant to do several times, but just don't get to it.

Today, I have an appointment for the MRI of my pituitary gland. I hate that stupid machine. And then I will have to drive home in freaking crazy traffic.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: protein bar

L: chicken sandwich, chips, banana, gummy fruit

D: I have no idea yet

Have a great night!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/05/2016:
yum to your mashed cauliflower. do you add garlic? so good. i may have asked you this before. you know what? I'm going to start making mashed cauliflower. should have done this a LONG time ago. I have a blender and all.

is the jello you eat sugar free? i highly recommend if you don't mind artificial sweeteners. it's just so low calorie & filling with a meal. i usually eat a few at least of them.

healthy eating today ! you rock.

innerpeace - Wednesday Aug 03, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Got DH and got home, today mom was out in the backyard string up a climbing morning glory and pruning the rose bush.

D: grilled turkey burgers with zucchini caprese (basil, mozzerella and tomatos)

S: klondyke bar

Mom did go with me to walk the dog.  Finished the day with 1717. Still higher than I like, but I can do without some things I've been eating.

B: toast, iced tea

L: left over turkey burger, chips, motts fruit snack

S: someone a$$hat brought in homemade ice cream. I had a spoonful of cookies and cream and brownie caramel - they brought in four hand packed pints, so I really didn't eat that much.

D: some kind of chicken and....

We have the girl child today. Really, really not looking forward to this evening. I did sign us up for a class (introduction to meditation) however, I do not know if we will make it or not. If we do NOT I am supposed to treat this girl's hair again. Not what I want to do!

Have a great evening!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/03/2016:
it's ok to have a few bites...but i find it easier to not have any usually...because any small taste leaves me wanting more...instead i reach for sugar -free drinks and other snacks - i like to find alternatives to the heavy-sugar items...

i still love my chips though...

sounds like it's ok having your mom with you?

and if it's only 1717, that's a really good total, honestly!

man, i love those klondike bars....

Horn_of_plenty on 08/04/2016:
wow your mom is one active lady.

innerpeace on 08/04/2016:
she is supposed to be doing nothing! she says she needs to do one thing everyday. crazy lady.

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