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innerpeace - Thursday May 19, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Wow! That moment when you realize you want to lose weight and recognize you aren't doing anything to accomplish doing so. That is me right now.

After work Tuesday I picked up the little girl and our initial plans were to eat before going to Cleveland, but after learning both the Cavs and Indians were playing at home we opted to leave early and just find somewhere to eat downtown. I was stressing out, as I hate driving in traffic and I hate scrambling for a parking place.

I fret for no reason. We got downtown with only minor difficulty and this from road construction, not traffic. Found a great place to park and then we opted to eat at a Germany restaurant. We all had some time of schnitzel. It was just ok, I have had better. We lingered at the restaurant and then walked to the theater - or I should say hobbled. DH is still in knee pain and I my back is stupid. The play was terrific! It was long and we didn't get out of there until 10:30. We hobbled back to the car and got the girl  home by 11:15 pm. She had a field day at school on Wednesday, so she wouldn't be too tired to learn.

Wednesday I had scheduled the day off from work, because I didn't want to even try to pretend I wanted to be there after not getting to sleep until almost midnight. I did have to sit in on a conference call and the refrigerator man came to fix the refrigerator again. It works....for now.

B: blue berry muffin

L: peanut butter sandwich

D: Jimmy John's turkey sandwich - dessert I had a piece of chocolate/peanut butter creamy pudding pie goodness calories 1840

Stayed up late watching the Thunder, not show up for the second half of their game....oh well.

Tonight after getting the girl she wanted to go to a skate party...I will stay home.

will ponder things, have a great night!

B: blue berry bagel with butter

S: nature valley sweet salty bar

L: 1/2 roastbeef sandwhich, freeze dried snap peas, banana

S: balanced breaks

D: chicken enchiladas - if the chicken is ready.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
i love those snap peas!!!!!!! dried ones yum!

talk more to you laterz!!!!!!!!!!

innerpeace - Tuesday May 17, 2016

Weight: 311.9

On the way home from the doctor appointment stopped and got gyros for dinner. Ended the day with 1872.

The refrigerator is still not cooling, repairman is supposed to come again tomorrow, I scheduled this day off back in March because tonight we are going into Cleveland to see Matilda the play. Unbeknownst at the time there is also an Indians game and also a Cavalier game, so parking is going to SUCK! I bought the tickets for the little girl so between traffic and parkins I hope she enjoys it. We probably won't get home until close to midnight.

Our original plans were to let her stay the night with us and because I don't have to go to work I would take her to school in the morning, but the mother has a different philosphy. Seems that since the little girl got her period, she needs to stay home where her pads are. What the hell ever lady! No, no, we don't have pads at my house...PULEEEASE! Well while she's there I hope you enforce how to wipe, since she is still working on that! OMG the entire situation really gets me down sometimes.

Last night DH and I went to wal-mart to pick up lunch things and he wants to start a scene...OK I'll play.

DH: Do you want a donut?

Me: when?

DH: I don't know when you want it.

Me. No, I mean when right this minute or for breakfast?

DH: I don't want one, do you?

Me. When?

DH: I don't want one.

Me. Do you not understand what I'm asking you? When do I want a donut right this minute or for breakfast?

DH: I don't know when you want it.

OMG this goes on forever and gets louder and louder, I just walk away. Our communication skills are lacking. No donuts though, so WIN!

Stayed up way to late watching the Thunder, sleep was as good as it could be. I was up at 1:43 because DH was making obscene noises and little Steve was jingling his collar so the dog and I went downstairs. DH came down a little later, we slept on the couch for about an hour and then I went back to bed.

B: blueberry muffin

S: sweet and salty nut bar

L: roast beef and swiss sandwich, banana, freeze dried peas

S: balanced breaks

Dinner is out somewhere on the way to Cleveland. Though I really don't care go cavs! I guess.

Have a great night.


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2016:
Well...just so you know...you are going to have to teach little girl EVERYTHING. I wouldn't rely on her mom to teach her how to deal with this growing up stuff. It's important that you do it...and that you make sure she doesn't miss school for it...she needs to be able to learn how to deal with it..how old is she though? if she's not 12, i can understand missing school for the first 1-2x, but after that, she needs to go to school basically...

help this girl out so that she knows what to do. Just be good to her & all will be ok. I'm sure it's a really difficult time for her.

Also, Matilda! i would love to see it myself! :)

innerpeace - Monday May 16, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Crazy weekend! Two things I have noticed, I do not write in the journal on the weekend, I stopped thinking I needed to concentrate on the fam, but this isn't helping me and they don't appreciate it. And then I quit logging my calories, why...can't say for sure but this will start again.

Friday we pick up the little girl and what? OMG I can't remember.We pick up the chipolte burrito bowls I ordered online and then ate around the table. It was OK, we didn't do anything afterwards, DH sat in his recliner, the little girl sat on the chaise and I sat. We watched the Amazing Race...I think, or I did. We were waiting on Grimm to come on - DH feel asleep and the little girl was watching you tube videos.


Sleep was good. DH was up at 6:00 to go to work. The weather was awful: cold, rainy. I was up at 7:30, little girl close after. We had bagles and cream cheese. Our first hike at 9:00 was canceled due to the weather. We sat around in our PJs until about 10:30 when we went out to a book sale. Received a text from DH that he couldn't leave to get something to eat so the little girl and I drove over an hour and took him Taco Bell it was about 2:00 when we finally gave him his lunch. We had another hike at 2:30, but again right about 2:00 I receive a text that the hike is canceled due to the rain - but the nature center was open. We just go back home. I noticed the refrigerator is acting up again. The refrigerator part this time, not the freezer. Nothing is cold.

Find out that the chipolte I ordered on line wasn't charged to my card. I asked DH if they charged him when he picked it up...he said NO, they told him it was already paid for....it wasn't. I never paid for it, neither did he. I was going to make spaghetti for dinner but DH picked up subway on his way home from work. Again...no plans it was a chill at home weekend. The little girl was content, sitting around.

Sunday: Was up at 4:30 with my dog and stayed up. DH was up and around at 7:30. We had a hike at 9:00 but it is May and you can always expect SNOW in May. Whaever Ohio! It was wet and cold so we opted not to go, didn't see if it was canceled. Our Pedal and Paddle fest was canceled though and we didn't attempt to go to the car show, because...Cold! so much for plans.

I moved around the house, dusted, cleaned, laundered. DH actually snow it snow for about 10 minutes, looked like sleet to me. He started dinner at 3:00, I helped the little girl with her homework and got her ready to go back to her mothers.We did have a brie, apple ravioli with carmel sauce for dessert. Refrigerator still not keeping anything cold, just a little chill if that. DH called the repairman again.

This morning while getting ready for work, I was in the master bathroom, so DH went to the hallway, he found a pair of panties with blood stains. The little girl used that bathroom all weekend, so we are thinking she started her period. DH texted the exwife this morning and she said the little girl said she didn't, so who knows. Not sure what their relationship is, so I hope she isn't freaking out or scared to talk to someone. I will ask her Tuesday.

Dermatology appointment today - true to form, my face does not betray!

Busy week this week.

B: bagel with butter, iced vanilla latte with 1% (which is gross)

L: left over spaghetti, gold fish

S: nature valley, sweet salty bar

I will calculate these calories after dinner. have a great evening.


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/16/2016:
so you had a nice, busy weekend keeping you off here....that's ok :)...

busy helps me usually calorie-wise...when i have plans, i'm better at keeping calories down many times than if i were home for the day with temptations around me.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/16/2016:
i would die if i had to deal with your little girl's issues lol....i am SO not a mother ;) or parental guardian. i still need one or would like one from time to time hahahaha...or at least i'll take an older guy to date...like 10yrs older is perfecto!

innerpeace - Friday May 13, 2016

Weight: 311.9

DH ran out of propane so he cooked the country ribs in the oven, they were ok, lots of fat I had to cut off, a small salad. Ended the day with 1466.

Thunder won! Very excited, however, I do NOT think they will get through this next round.

Got to bed and was sleeping so good with the rain and the windows open, nice cool breeze blowing in, snoozing dog and then OMG, the most horrible charley horse woke me up! I was in so much pain, trying to stretch and massage my calf, it is still sore today. Wow very uncomfortable pain.

Work is yuck today! Making for a long slow afternoon. I just can't wait to get home. We have a lot of things planned this weekend, some depending on the weather but good times!

Will get the little girl after work and going to eat. DH decided on Chipolte. And then we will hang out tonight.

B: multigrain cheerios, 1% milk, iced tea

s: string cheese

L: 1/2 turkey sandwhich with swiss cheese and pickles, freeze dried snap peas (my new favorite thing).

s: yogurt if I decide to eat it.

I have a dermatology appointment on Monday...not a blemish on my face. This is my life.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 05/13/2016:
Good calories! Charley horses are horrid!

Donkey on 05/14/2016:
Sorry to hear about the leg pain. Keep up the good work! I enjoy reading your entries :-)

Horn_of_plenty on 05/16/2016:
Pimples are my enemy too!

but i don't have the best diet so i am not surprised!

innerpeace - Thursday May 12, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up the little girl and headed home. We noticed DH had taken country ribs out for dinner, neither of us really cared for this so when DH got home we told him we weren't feeling the ribs. He showers and we headed out to the library. Not one, but two as the first didn't have the books we wanted nor did the second. Big, BIG let down.

We ended up at the Golden Corral. I ate a big salad and went after some meat. I had to wait a few minutes for someone to come and serve it. Was getting irritated, I moved away and looked at everything else. Didn't really find anything that appetizing finally the server came and handed me a peice of steak. It was just OK. Then they were out of bread! What the what? I know I don't need it, but it is better than dessert. DH and the little girl enjoyed it, so that is all that matters.

We get back home and the little girl reads and then her mom comes and I watched survivor. That was that! For some reason my dear dog does not wake me up whenever DH sleeps downstairs, so....DH slept downstairs again. I just love this, I sleep so good...I miss the DH but there is nothing like a good-all-night-long-no-waking-up-sleep!

b: multigrain cheerios, 1% milk; iced vanilla latte

l: 1/2 turkey swiss sandwhich with pickle, banana, freeze dried snap peas

no snacks today....might be looking for something before dinner


Have a great night!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/12/2016:
LOL i have NEVER heard of a restaurant being out of BREAD! haha

Deep sleep throughout the night is wonderful. I've been getting some good sleep myself! feels good and i am happier throughout the day!

innerpeace - Wednesday May 11, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up DH and headed home, we wonder why we have a Y membership because we never go. I told him this morning we will pack our bag tomorrow and go on the way home, he said OK, but we will see. Actions speak louder than words.

DH cooked the chicken and steamed a potato/green bean vegetable. It was oK. We walked the dog together in around the block, he is still limping pretty bad. The dog loved it though.

Swept up the family room and watched NCIS and then watched the Thunder go ahead in their series, hopefully they can wrap it up tomorrow.

Oh the doctor Monday also requested a sleep study. She asked about my sleep, well between the dog and snoring I guess it's OK. I told her about my headaches and she ordered a sleep study. She is thinking I have sleep apnea. This should be fun....NOT.

B: yogurt, banana, iced vanilla latte

S: protein yogurt bar

L: 1/2 turkey sandwhich, swiss cheese on 1 slice of 12 grain bread, banana, freeze dried snap peas (OMG So delicious)

D: I didn't see what DH took out this morning. I will steam some broccoli.

Dog Walk, Yoga, Survivor.

Have a great night!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/11/2016:
yeah, i know for a fact that sleep studies suck! a friend of mine posted pics of the contraptions the dr had her wearing...everyone on fb was like "they expect you to sleep like that!?"

food sounds wonderful! yes, 1/2 sandwich is perfect - try for extra meat in it - that's way more satisfying.

bananas have a lot of sugar, but i've found they help me feel much, much better. good potassium. as are the potatoes - good for potassium. i am always low on potassium bc i drink all that kombucha and eat lots of fiber.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/11/2016:
i used to love Survivor. i need to watch some TV....always getting distracted at home. but i'd rather read.

puddles on 05/11/2016:
Sleep apnea can be dangerous if not taken care of. There is also a study that show that it can increase the possibility of dimension at an earlier age because of when we sleep and stop breathing it damages the cell in our brain. Good thing that you will be getting it checked plus getting a good night of sleep will be to your advantage.

cybermom4 on 05/12/2016:
What a great day!

innerpeace - Tuesday May 10, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Very disappointing visit with my doctor yesterday. I know...I know, but to hear others tell you what you know is sometimes degrading and humiliating. Just because I am a morbidly obese person does not make me stupid. My doctor was worried about my A1C, which was 5.9 - the prediabetic stage.

Dr: would you be interested in our Get Moving program, kinda like weight watchers, it meets every Monday at 11:00.

Me: I would be, I work everyday though and can't see me being able to miss work every Monday for two-three hours. (this clinic is 45 minutes away from where I work)

Dr. Do you want to see a nutritianalist?

Me. I have seen the nutritianalist before.

Dr. I'm really worried about this A1C which is centered around carbohydrates.

Me. Yes, bread, pasta, starchy vegetables like potatoes, corn and peas.

Dr. Well you know more than I thought you did.

Me: Well I like food and I am lazy. I know how to do what I need to do, but I find it hard and boring and time consuming and painful at times and something I really don't like to do. So much for being honest!

Anyway, I also have low Vitamin D levels, which she gave me a medication for, she didn't want to refill my face medicine but did and also suggest I see the dermatologist again, which I did and they tell me the same stuff and give me the same stuff. And then appointments for the pap and mammogram which was a freakin' night mare last year! Needless to say, it sucked!

I get home and prepare the pork roast for dinner.

DH gets home, but roast is not done, so it needs to cook longer and he hands me hostess cupcakes...I eat them and then get mad. Dinner was the roast pork, green beans and dressing.

We went to Wal-mart to pick up a few things and get into an argument over one-a-day vitamins.

Today is another day!

B: banana, yogurt, iced vanilla latte (366 calories)

L: one piece of 12 grain bread , roast beef lunch meat, swiss cheese, pickle. banana (431 calories)

S: Greek yogurt lemon meringue (120 calories)

D: chicken, brocolli and salad (361)

Total for the day 1,278. I am very ok with this.

I have only been drinking one diet doctor pepper a day, which is a very big cut back - usually 5 or 6.


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/10/2016:
don't worry girlfriend, you know what to do :) and we are here to help and support you! we are better than weight watchers any day!

puddles on 05/10/2016:
I understand how this all can be discouraging but at least it seems you have gained no new post so that is good. Always hard to balance all the days stuff with work and the food of an entire family. Things will go better.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/11/2016:
I agree with Puddy above. Don't be too angry about the dr visit, continue doing well for you and your family. Be proud of yourself.

grannyannie on 05/11/2016:
I hope you don't become diabetic! My friend just found out he had it.

innerpeace - Monday May 09, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Left work on Friday and DH goes to a chinese food buffet. It is all good though, ate tons of vegetables and a few pieces of chicken. I also had some egg drop soup, I usually never eat soup, especially unless it is just freezing cold outside. I counted the calories and ended up with 1654, it is ok.

Get home and both DH and I fall asleep in the recliner, OMG we are so lazy or work drained. I wake up about 8:30 and then watch the Thunder lose, they finished about mindnight and then I go to bed. DH is up at 6:00 to go to work and I sleep in till 8l00 on Saturday. No headache! So excited about this, but still just cannot get motivated. I clean up around the house a bit, but that is all.

DH gets home and we opt not to do anything. He brough Arby's home for dinner and again we just hang out. I ended with 1792 calories. DH left to go find a nut to fit the vacuum cleaner and I watched the Kentucky Derby to see if anyone at work won...off course someone picked the Trivecta (or whatever it is they call it) WOW! just wow, I wonder how much money he would have won if he would have actually placed a bet.

Sunday morning I get up and we go oh a hike thorugh a ravine. We take Steve and we are walking along, I let him off the leash and he is doing pretty good. I see a squirrel so I hook him back up. We are almost finished and DH let him off the leash, he just flies through the woods into a herd of deer that was sleeping. All the deer jump off and scatter as my dog chases them. I thought for sure I would never find my dog, but after about ten minutes he comes back. I was paranoid and yelling at DH why he let Steve off the leash again. He said he thought he would run up to me, he didn't see the deer sleeping, I didn't either and just so glad he didn't chase them forever. I did laundry and cleaned out my car!

Called my mom and talked to her, I miss her everyday. I finally got a text from my son around 9:30 - better late than never, but at least he remembered. Bittersweet day.

DH cooked a deliscous dinner wth zuccini, squash and ground turkey bake.

I have my doctor's appointment this afternoon will see how that goes. I know I did not make my goal of being under 300 but will se ehow close when I get weighed today!

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: yogurt protein bar

L: left over turkey, squash, zuccini bake


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/09/2016:
Yes, of the Chinese Buffets near me, I am NEVER disappointed. There’s some really great ones by me with TONS of vegetable dishes to choose from. And even if not a TON of veggie dishes, there’s enough to keep going for more and combine the vegetables with a bit of the other dishes to make for a REALLY filling meal!

I’d love to go MORE often to a chinese buffet actually…and you know what, I’m going to look one up for around my apt so that I can invite my friends who’ve been saying that they’d like to go for Chinese by me! (Actually where I live is surrounded by TONS of Chinese / Asian neighborhoods and restaurants!).

Nah, I think most people are get tired and work drained just like you. Once again, I was writing this to Donkey – don’t feel you are alone. A lot of your battles are ones that many of us can relate to. Especially in terms of feeling physically / emotionally drained. Don’t feel you are alone. Know that you have the power to take control over your life / health / wants & needs.

I also called my mom on Mother’s Day sorta late in the day around 7:30pm. So late because I was feeling quite drained all day too. But, I had just seen her the day before lol. We celebrated a day early.

Zucchini bake sounds aewsome...as does the turkey and squash!

puddles on 05/10/2016:
Good luck at the dr.

innerpeace - Friday May 06, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Work was crap today, I hate when I have nothing to do, time crawls by! Picked up DH and the little gril and went to Ruby Tuesday. Had a nice big salad, broccoli, mashed potatoes and 1/2 of the porkchop. Total calories for the day 1582. I'm ok with this.

Little girl said she needed to take a shower so we headed back home and do homework then she gets a shower, not really sure why she can't take a shower at her mom's? DH took her home and then I started working on the cupcake icing.

First melt the butter and powered sugar together (do not boil) and then let stand for 2 minutes, then pour in the bourbon. Brush over the top of the cupcakes. Then the icing is creme cheese and sugar with creme de menthe (which I couldn't even taste) Anyway, they are at work this morning. Everyone loves them...I am glad. I asked DH to hold  the piping bag while I poured the icing in, but afer the first dollup landed in the bag he let go and the rest fell on the floor...nice mess to clean up. I used what landed in the bag, but eventually had to make more. I guess that's what I get asking for help.

Aother slow day at work.

B: toast, iced vnailla latte

S: banana

L: roast beef swiss chcese sandwich

S: balanced breaks

No plans for dinner tonight, so I don't know. I haven't been sleeping through the night because of my beloved pet and right now I just want to go home and sleep for a few hours.

Neilaray may be my new best friend.

Happy Mother's Day to the mother's!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

puddles on 05/06/2016:
Happy Mother's to you also and have a great weekend.

grannyannie on 05/07/2016:
Good calories!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/08/2016:
Same here - I usually prefer being busy at work - except when I actually am too busy. Lol, we always want the opposite right!? but yeah, when work drags = really bad...

Happy Mother's Day to you. Little girl has a lot because of you!

Also, I'm sure she ran out of time to shower at her mom's. We all know by now that cleanliness is not a priority over there....

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/08/2016:
I think Ruby Tuesday's also has a salad bar with many options!? haven't been there in so long also. Two places, well at least one, that I would love to go to is Red Lobster! for sure! and maybe Ruby Tuesday...nobody to go with lol.

innerpeace - Thursday May 05, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Tuesday night I picked up the little girl and when we got home, I peeled potatoes for dinner. DH grilled chicken and we had corn. Again, I didn't count calories, I will start this again, not sure why I stopped....habits!

We took the little girl to the library and she did her craft, DH, Steve and I walked around the park and had a great time waiting on the little girl. When she was finished we took her home. And I slept all night Tuesday, such a treat!.

But had a weird day Wednesday! Got to work with absolutly nothing to do so I left early. I texted DH i was going to wal-mart to get a few things I needed for derby day Friday at work, I also needed liquor for some mint julep cup cakes I am making. He says he needs lunch meet or else we have peanut butter, which I don't want.

I get to Wal-mart get the lunch meat, cheese, garlic bread - no liquior (they sell liquor at wal-mart but I wasn't paying $11.00 for something I need 2 teaspoons of. Go to the liquor store get the bourbon and creme de menthe and then go home. I try to have a nap in the recliner but between Steve barking and playing and DH texting, it was hard to do. At 3:45 I left to go pick up DH.

We get home and I make dinner. We had chicken, artichocke, gouda mac n cheese, which turned out better than I expected. DH grilled the extra chicken Tuesday night.

B: total bomb - DH and I had a hair up our arse and stopped at a donut shop and bought six donuts.We sat in the parking lot of his work and ate them. OMG we suck so bad.

L: turkey pastrami sandwhich with cheese

D: the chicken, artichoke, gouda mack n cheese

After dinner I went back to Wal-mart to get some cake mix for the cupcakes, which I thought we had. Once I get back, I start making the cup cakes and finish about 9:45, they are still sitting on the stove, I will frost them when I get home this evening.

Got a call from the little girl this morning telling me this is the Mom's with Muffin day. I had it for tomorrow. I told her I am at work sweetie, i won't be able to get there before it's over. I think she said her mom was going so that was good. I told her we would go out to eat tonight! I apoligized again, she seemed a little upset, but they told me it was Friday.

I was looking on the VA website for my test results and they all looked good except two was flagged high - my cholesterol was 118 but said it was high, it shouldn't be over 110, whatever, I was told anything under 200 is good, unless it changed by 90. And then my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) was high - yeah NO it isn't!! I would think it would be low but anyway can see another pituitary gland MRI in my future as I had a 6mm growth on it, maybe it is growing bigger = high TSH and headaches....I will see on Monday.

B: mini bagel with cream cheese

S: yogurt protein bar

L: left over mac n cheese, plum, banana

S: balanced breaks

D: we have decided to go to Ruby Tuesday and they have a fantastic salad bar which I will certainly use.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

puddles on 05/05/2016:
The best thing on my routine the fact that I was able to give up the sugar stuff because it really helps in controlling the cravings for food. Those muffins sounded like a really interesting recipe Bourbon and creme de menthe. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/05/2016:
yes, once a habit forms, it'll be almost hard to stop! for me, i cannot go thru a day without counting cals!

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