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innerpeace - Saturday Mar 26, 2016

Weight: 311.9

I stayed up late watching basketball. Think I got to bed at 12:30. DH was up at 6:00 going to work I slept in til 8:00. I was using the word depressed as I have no interest in anything no motivation. DH asked what so I have to be depressed about. I just don't want to do anything that will task my brain or make me sweat or make me sore. I guess I'm just being a big baby.

B: cheese Danish

L: goldfish

D: chicken and dumplings

Watching basketball again no plans for Easter.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/27/2016:
I have just gone through a very unmotivated stage. I had to realize that I don't have to particularly FEEL like going for that walk (just a short one) I just have to do it anyway - it has surprised me that once I get my shoes on, and get out the door the short 10 minute walk becomes the 20 min walk and the 20 min walk becomes 40 and so on....as for soreness - I take Tylenol acetaminophen - arthritis strength. I am 62 years old and I'd probably have to take it anyway to get out of bed! LOL Take a walk at half time!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/27/2016:
I feel for you. I also get into my moods where I don't want to do ANYTHING while home in my apt. Yesterday, the ONLY thing I managed before heading out to dinner at 5pm was laundry. Only other thing I did was eat little and read for like 20min! That's it. just on the computer and being really lazy. I will always fall back a little into this lazy spell if I have been working hard & too busy leading up to it. Sometimes I think being lazy or not wanting to be productive isn't the worst thing in the world.

innerpeace - Friday Mar 25, 2016

Weight: 311.9

I am defeated! I let making the chick costume stress me out! It is ditched. DH will be a bunny in a basket now. He can wear white pants and shirt with the bunny ears. I used the dog's old swimming pool as the basket and will decorate it up. I just couldn't get the right thing/look going with the chick. What a waste of time. I didn't go to work today and slept late. My boby did not like this, as I had a headache most of the day and then I was running around and the traffic was really on my last nerve. There was more traffic today than during the holidays I think. They sure celebrate Easter up here in a BIG way! And most of the stores are closed on Easter! Heck they were open on Thanksgiving....just makes me wonder!

We had baked pork chops, green beans and stuffing for dinner. It was good.  Total calories for the day was right around 1838

B: vanilla iced latte

L: ssmoked salmon and crackers

D: meatloaf, mashed potatos and gravy, small salad

I havent't added calories yet.

We were supposed to go to a glow in the dark egg hunt but the weather is cold and drizzly, and DH's knee is hurting so we decided not to go. We took the little girl to eat, she has to be back at her mom's for Easter. I will try to finish the pool basket tomorrow as that adult egg hunt is in the evening. We can go for the costume contest but again depending on how DH's knee feels. Here they do not hide Easter Eggs they just throw them on the ground and everyone makes a mad dash to pick them up, tripping over each other and pushing and shoving. Not the best envirnonment for my DH right now. We will just have to see.

Wishing you all a happy Easter and nice relaxing Saturday.

Cheers, IP

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/26/2016:
Sorry you are stressed - it happens to so many of us during the holiays! Good calories...I love smoked salmon!!!!!!!!!! yum!!!!!!!!! been wanting it so much lately...I think I will buy some tomorrow.

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 24, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Tuesday  night I picked up the little girl and she informs me that there is an awards ceremony at her school on Wednesday. I tell her I may not be able to make it, usually I need more than a day's notice to just leave work. On the drive she says she wants to check her grades because she wants so bad to make the merit roll. She already gets a perfect attendance award and she was student of the Month. So we get home and she checks her grades. She is mad because she made a C in Math and she won't make merit roll.  Her dad gets home and we eat the subway and take off for the egg craft.

Once at the egg craft she is all mopey like she doesn't want to be there and she is clingy and hanging all over me. I tell her if she doesn't start acting like she is the least bit interested we would stop coming to these craft events.  I ask her, what on earth is the matter? She tells me she is mad that she made a C. I asked her if she did her best, did she work her hardest. She replied yes, I then told her well then there is no reason for you to be mad, you did the best you could. We'll just work harder next quarter.

And then of course on the way home the stupid bird flew up and knocked the side view mirror off the car. It scared my DH so bad, I was really pissed.  But this is the same side I just scraped up in the parking lot, so it just looks a little worse now.

Anyway, yesterday, the exwife sends pictures of the little girl getting her awards and she did make merit roll (all As & Bs). I text back and said, I'm very happy she was worried she didn't get merit roll. Then the exwife says....Mr. Thomas told her to keep working hard and I told her I believed in her and she pushed forward!! (What thehell? So did Mr. Thomas just give her the award? Was the C for the last quarter? If it's the first, I'll have to check, I'd hate for the teacher just to give her something she didn't earn just because she was a little upset! This is not preparation for the furture or sixth grade! Damn, then I should get mad at everything until I get my way! ) The exwife, mom person) This is the same one who was letting her daughter fail third grade until I stepped in and started her extra help. Oh well....you go then mom!  The little girl had to write a letter to her hero, it was ME! Because I helped her pass third grade and take care of her, it wasn't to her mom, just saying!  DH was mad, but I'm just like let it go, that little girl knows who takes care of her and who does what.

DH and I went to Wal-mart and picked a few things and then ate at the diner. I spent the rest of the evening, trying to work on the crazy costume we need for Saturday night, still a long way to go. My mom called and wanted help with calling a few places to notify them of my uncle's death. I did that today at work in between projects!

Tonight, no plans, but we get the little girl and we will stay home and do home work and costume stuff!

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: salmon, crackers, fiber one bar

no snack today

D: pork something, DH thawed pork

Have a great evening! IP


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Wednesday Mar 23, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Last night we took the little girl to color eggs and on the way home a bird flew into the side of my car and broke the side view mirror off. It scared DH so bad! I went back and picked up the cover and found the mirror but doubt it can be put back on! What on early else could happen with my car!

We ate subway. I had a six inch turkey. I was so hungry though when we got back home I had the last four ribs. I ended the day with 1891 calories.

crazy day at work! Stressing out!

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: smoked salmon, crackers

S: bright side granola; trail mix

D: chicken wrap

Finished the day with 1660 calories.

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/24/2016:
Sorry about your car. How bizarre! Cals aren't too bad. Hang in there.

innerpeace - Tuesday Mar 22, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Very crazy night, but things are back to normal this morning, or so I thought. I slept all night which is great!

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: pepperidge brightside granola bar

L: smoked salmon and crackers

D: planned - subway

We have a library acitivy tonight - decorating Easter eggs. I boiled six last night to take with us, we can do two a piece. I am picking up the little girl after work and we are meeting DH at the house and then leaving.

And then the daily drama =========================

I get to work and get a phone call from my sister. She told me our uncle died on Sunday about 6:00pm. I'm like seriously, why are you just now telling me? That sucks! She says I thought mom told you, uh...NO she didn't.

Then she says, that your husband was texting mom and mom said she told your husband to tell you. I then ask my DH and he says I never received a text from your mom about anything, she never texted me back, so then he calls me at work and said he would never keep something like that form me. All I can think is that my mom didn't press send, I just don't know.

My sister went on to talk about the book royalties that my uncle signed over to me six years ago. I told her I never sent the letter in until just last week. I told her if I ever receive any royalties, I will send it to my mom, they were the ones that took care of my uncle while he was sick, I would NEVER feel right taking that money. I only helped him format and write the book, that cannot even compare to all they have done the last year.

She also told me that my oldest nephew's girl friend is expecting their third child (a girl) and they are going to name her Violet (my mom's name) JoAnn (my name). they already have an 11 and 10 year old, why on earth they would have another is beyond me! This is puzzling and irritating all at the same time. These kids both my nephew and grand neice and nephew have been raised on public assistance. And I guess it won't end there. My middle nephew is in prison and the third one can't keep a job. None of these three kids finished highschool! It is so very sad And I just remember the youngest one text me last year on my birthday...Happy Birthday aunt JoAnn, can I borrow $30 dollars? I will never forget this!

I can see today sucking, I hope it gets better as it goes.


Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/22/2016:
Sorry about your loss.

hollybelle on 03/22/2016:
Sorry for you loss,IP. We can't pick our family, can we? For better or worse and most the time mine is a little of both! God bless.

innerpeace - Monday Mar 21, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Omg how times gets away when I am using my creative mind.

B: toast and I iced vanilla latte

L: turkey Swiss sandwich, crackers S. Trail mix

D. Left over ribs and green beans I took Steve for a walk and worked on the Easter costume for Saturday.

DH can be an azz sometimes! I'll have more time tomorrow to write about this...reminder to myself! Have a good night.


This is all the stuff I wanted to write about last night, but got involved with the costume making - and I was busy at work so....here it is now.

A couple of weeks ago I picked up the dog's bowl off the kitchen floor and it was just filled with little black ants and there was so many it grossed me out. I washed them down the drain.

Jump to last Friday when the Scott's lawn service man calls me - I thought it was the weed control man but he was calling about pest control. He said they would spray 18 inches up the foundation and three feet out for $70 and guarantee no pests. Well it isn't just for one application it is for 4 different applications for $280. I was thinking about my ants but I told him I had to talk to my husband and to call me back.

So the lawn man calls me back while we are driving home and DH doesn't like the tone and attitude he is using so he tells the man never mind he isn't interested. So after he hangs, up I ask my DH what about the ants. DH says he will buy some boric acid and put around the foundation. My reply was ok when? At least if the lawn man did it, I would know it would get done. My DH is wonderful, however, he doesn't do things when needed, he only does them when he wants to or feels like it. I lived alone in my house for fifteen years and did everything myself, so I know how to mow and weedeat and do stuff. So I know when it is time to do this, I would just do it. Not DH, the grass will need to be mowed this weekend, he will say, I am going to wait until A neighbor or B neighbor mows. Why? This makes me crazy! Just freakin' mow already!

So he gets attitude!

And then he gets a text from a niece that I know he hasn't talked to since I moved up here (three years in May) asking if she can use our address so she can received mail for her medical and other benefits she gets from the state. She says, I can't use Tony's (the other uncle) because dad is, so I need to use someone else's address. So DH replies. I am fine, thanks for asking, because he was pissed that the only time his family talks to him is if/when they need something (not unlike my own). He said she is capable and able to find work and has, however, she does not take care of herself (she has diabetes) and often needs hospitalized for sugar too high or too low....ergo, she refuses to work and gets whatever benefits from the state. He said his sister was helping this neice before and caused all kinds of trouble. She isn't honest and lies. So I just made a comment, well, you can, but I just want you to know that if anything comes up missing from the mailbox, she will be the first person I blame. Again, this makes him pissy.

I really don't care if she uses the address, I just wanted him to know that if she isn't honest and lies what's to prevent her from taking something in our mailbox. And then I want her to use it because why not help someone less fortunate. I don't know whether he said she could or not in the end.

But after all this, he gets really pissy and is just being really nasty. I told him times like these I wish I just never moved up here. Both of our families suck! We both work hard for everything we have, and to see others thriving while doing nothing is very irritating. He went out into the garage and was doing whatever he does out there (not mowi) and then he comes back in and apologizes, this is why I love him so!

The calories for the night were 1868.

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
Aren't men always asses! hehe, just kidding. My "not yet boyfriend but still my man" does so much ass-y things :) but I love the dude!

innerpeace - Sunday Mar 20, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Finally I got to sleep all night. I still woke up with a headache.

Woke up about 8:30, relaxed with the crossword puzzle and drank my iced vanilla latte.

Started the laundry earlier to get finished to watch the 5:15 basketball game. So glad my team won! We hung out in the house, the weather was damp and cold, it even snow flurried this morning. DH made some awesome ribs that we will be eating for the next few days. SO many.

Really easy, drama free day.

B: blueberry bage with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: 1/2 apple fritter

early dinner: six pork ribs, potato salad. I even drank some water today.

Ending the day with 1368 calories. I am OK with this.

Laudry done, team won...I am ready for Monday!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/21/2016:
Sounds like a nice day off with the hubbs! Good day for you. It's always nice to have a relaxed day and share it with someone you love.

grannyannie on 03/21/2016:
Good calories. Have a healthy week.

hollybelle on 03/21/2016:
You were due a drama free day. Yay!

innerpeace - Saturday Mar 19, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH made turkey/beef burgers for dinner, he mixed the two meets and then stuffed it with mozerella cheese. We watched basketball or listened to it, because all three of us were doing different things on the technical devices. They fell asleep, I enjoy the peace and quiet.

I finally go to bed about 11:45 only to be up again with my dear pet! I stayed up and slept on and off in the recliner, I hate this. I went to bed about 4:30 and DH was up by 5:00 to go to work. I slept but woke up with a headache at 8:30. I got the little girl up at 9:00 and we sat around until 10:00. We finally left the house at 10:40 and went places.

We stopped at the library for the book sale. She picked up a few books, I got a few books, magazines and puzzles all for the low, low price of $5.50. I gave the cashier $11:00 because I wanted a five dollar bill back in change, but he couldn't figure this out, so he gave me back my dollar and $4.50 cents. unBELIEVEABLE!  Huh, thanks....I guess.We then went to the Pepperidge Ridge outlet store and bought some day old bread., next stop the dog store to get the homemade treats my dog likes. Finally we stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. DH was home when we got back. We ate lunch and then left again.

We went to a craft show, went to look at motorcycles (I want one so bad) and then we stopped at two thrift stores to look at different things for my DH's costume for the adult egg hunt in a few weeks. FInally we get back and as they say....chill. I was working on a puzzle, the little girl was doing what she does (I think she was doing homework) and DH was snoozing in the recliner and trying to build shelves inthe basement. All in all it was a good day. I could have eaten better, but I will start again on Monday. DH is making ribs for dinner tomorrow, and I am going to eat these ribs.

B: blue berry bagle, vanilla iced latte

L: bean buritto, chicken chulupa

D: pork chop, green, beans, rice

S: cheese danish

I finished the day at 1988, over my usual day, but it is OK. Better than my previous day fiasco which I calculated out to be 2689.

Tomorrow..laundry day and I may think more about the chicken costume. I need to clean up around the house as well.

IIT is supposed to snow tomorrow so any other plans will be pending on the weather.  Have a great night and GO SOONERS! GOT TO LOVE THE MARCH MARDNESS!


Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

innerpeace - Friday Mar 18, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Today would be most described as a complete failure. I decided sometime this morning while in the shower that I was going to leave work early. I wanted to just sit home and watch a basketball game and chill. DH had a doctor's appointment about his knee and he drove himself so it worked out well. I left work about 11:30 and was going to the store for some mozarella cheese and a bag of chips for dinner. DH texts and ask if I will stop by the bakery because he wanted a fritter. Well, OK, it is totally out of my way but I will do that for you.

So driving to the store, this dark cloud comes over me and I just start boohooing in the car. It was a sadness so deep I didn't and don't know where it came from so fast. I was just thinking how, in my life, I just never aspired to do anything. My boss says, he worked hard and has to thank his coworkers and friends for helping him get to his 'dream job'! And then I hear on the TV how a guy in Egypt worked so hard because he wanted to play in the NCAA basketball tournament...and he is. He didn't win, but he played in the tournament.

I am just so lost in what I want to do and it's hard to think about some times. It's hard to say I'm going to work and be the richest person in the world, because that's just not what I want to be. I don't want to be the boss and deal with other people's business and/or problems, so I'm just stuck in a place. So while I'm at the bakery the lady asks if I want to try a snoogle! What is a snoogle? She said it was puff pastry and cream cheese rolled up and iced with butter and sugar. OH yeah! I want to try a snoogle. She gives me one it is about 12-15 inches long and about 3 inches wide. So why don't you give me two, DH and the little girl would like to try it too. So she gives me two...and I'm not proud of this but I ate both of them, in the car, on the way home! Emotional eating anyone?

I just suck tonight! And then DH works every Saturday but he made a comment that his boss said no OT, Ok, so are you going to stay home? And he gets snarky and says, NO! I'm going to work and do what I have to do and then I'll come home? Whtat? You just said no OT! Well that implies everyone but me! What the hell? you don't make anykind of since! Why are you the only one who has to work OT? And then we just go round and round. I don't care if he works OT or not, but oh, but the way, your daughter is here....with me....alone....again! So you just go, you go and you do all the work you need to do! Azzhat!

So DH said the Dr. drained his knee and gave him steroids and maybe that will help his pain he's been having. He said it felt better already. We will see how long that works.

The little girl is here and I treated her hair for lice ....again! because apparently this is my goal in life to try and keep lice out of her hair because her mother won't for some reason. She is babbling away and won't stop, she said she was tired so maybe she will fade out soon! Because we have lots to do tomorrow! Errands to run, places to go!

B: blueberry bagel

S: balanced breaks

L: two 15 inch snoogles (I have no idea how many calories, I will jsut say six donuts)

D: turkey burger with mozerella cheese

I had a buckyeye candy on a peanut butter cookie and then....DH bought a strawberry pound scoop cake at Sam's and I had a scoop of that...


Al I can say  is I will be better tomorrow and hopefully I will get over my sad!

Have more MARCH MADNESS To watch and go OU!

Peace OUT!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/19/2016:
We all have days like this. I am sorry you had one today. I am an emotional eater. I can polish off 6 donuts in a morning. and keep on going for the rest of the day - or week for that matter, or life!! I think what is interesting about your post is - you are just so in touch with your feelings on many levels. I tend to stuff my emotions down inside and not acknowledge them until it's much later. About work - you say you are lost, but that isn't true. You know a lot of what you don't want to do - don't want to supervise people, put up with their "crap" etc....don't want to be the "boss" - over people, but have you ever thought about what you might like to do that would be you working a job that paid well, that didn't include supervisory duties? I know I feel the same way - I don't want to supervise others - I just want to do work and work with people, but I don't want to supervise and be responsible others- I did enough of that - it was called parenting - LOL! Dissatisfaction is the beginning of success!- just keep thinking - in a positive way - what you could do that you'd like to do that you would define as successful. What changes you would make to get there. I am sure you are successful already in many ways. Hang in there - today is another day. P.S. Shame on husband for grumbling at you. We'll assume he felt bad because of his knee and having to work on the weekend and cut him a break, this time. :-)

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has emotional break downs in the car. And parenting...I know right!

marshallsaya on 03/19/2016:
I'm so sorry you had such an emotional day. I've been there too, and it's not been long ago. I sat sobbing in my car one afternoon with a dairy queen blizzard in my hand, a large one at that. I ate the whole thing, and then sat sobbing because I ate it. I understand those moments it all just bursts out, all that you try to keep hidden from everyone else. The car is always my boohoo place. I pray you feel better today. (( Hugs )) ~Angie

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks for this post. I love dairy queen too!

innerpeace - Thursday Mar 17, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH and I picked up the little girl. No homework! She made a salad and I cooked some rice. DH grilled the steak out. After dinner we just played around, it was a good evening.

I slept all night, dog slept all night, DH well his knee was bothering him so he went downstairs and took some pain medicine and fell asleep in the recliner. He comes back to bed about 4:30. He was limping this morning, he has a followup appointment tomorrow, so I hope he tells them all the pain he is still having.

Good day at work today with the St. Patrick's day activities, I'm glad everyone participated, usually they are dead pan scientists who just stare at the computer screens. Now I will have to think of something for next time. But for now, I am going to concerntrate on DH's costume for the adult egg hunt.

D: steak, salad and rice - ended the night with 1960 calories, a little high for me, but the steak was sure good.

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

S: natural granola bar

L: piece of left over steak sandwich, orange

S: hard, almond crunch granola (I do not like - will not eat again)

DH took out ground turkey, will have to get creative with that.


DH is wanting to go to SAMs for some ribs to cook this weekend for the little girl, I said I would go with him.

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/17/2016:
Good day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2016:
I am so happy to hear how nice your day was. So cool that everyone played "their part" in the kitchen! Little girl must have loved the carefree night with you & your hubby. No homework sounds like a nice treat for the holiday! Schools are good places. More work places should be like that.

A friend of mine is a teacher in Atlanta. She posted on facebook that she's been incredibly sick, home 3 days from work. She wrote how if anyone is sick, they should stay home from work & not infect everyone. I replied to her post that I wish I could stay home, but my work doesn't pay me to be home. Teachers don't lose pay when they stay home. But most other companies do not allow so many sick days in a year & many folks use some of their sick days more as vaca days at my company since the minimum vacation (what I get right now) is 10 days....I wish workplaces were more considerate of sick workers. Going to work sick isn't easy when all we want to do is rest.

marshallsaya on 03/18/2016:
Sounds like you had a really great and fun day :)

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