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innerpeace - Wednesday Nov 25, 2020

Weight: 296.4

On the way home from the office I stopped at a lunch box deli and got DH and I a sandwich for lunch.

I had a roast beef, turkey, bacon sandwich, DH had a Reuban. It was different for a change.

D: left over teriaki chicken and rice

S: chocolate covered pretzels

I was over on calories today (almost 400) but the pretzels and sandwich was very good.

Took the doggos out about 4:00 we got grappled on. Got halfway around the block - grapple - a mix between sleet/snow/hail. It actually stung my face when I got hit.

Today looks nasty too, but will try to get the dogs walked.

Working till noon and then have a long weekend with tomorrow and Friday off.

I think I get the girl this afternoon.

DH working the first shift today and should be home by 5:00.

Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!


Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 86.4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 11/25/2020:
Sandwich sounds good. Any progress on custody hearing?

innerpeace on 11/25/2020:
Not really. Lawyer said he wanted to question exwife under oath. Her lawyer said she wasn't opposed to the girl coming to live here but just wanted the money DH owed her and she didn't want to pay child support. DH says he doesn't owe her any money and the Child Support Enforcement Agency said he doesn't owe her money so we don't know what she's talking about. Basically she wants to sell the girl, I guess. The new court date will be in the new year, so it isn't something that will happen quickly. I was hoping, but no such luck.

Jacky82020 on 11/25/2020:
Sandwich does indeed sound fantastic. I want one!

grannyannie on 11/25/2020:
The ex sounds like my ex DIL. Selfish!

Donkey on 11/25/2020:
You're doing a wonderful job with your weigh-ins!

These court things never go as quickly as we'd like. Be prepared for a couple of continuances.

innerpeace on 11/25/2020:
Well hopefully not too many, she will be 16 next month, you would think she would have more say so about where she wants to live. She knows right from wrong. If it goes much longer, I will stop it all and she can wait two years and do whatever she wants.

legcramps on 11/25/2020:
Ugh. Court situation does not sound easy or quick.

grannyannie on 11/25/2020:
A 15 year old is plenty old enough to choose which parent she wants to live with.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/25/2020:
regarding your entry yesterday, i do agree it's better to forgive than be part of an endless bitter argument (like my own parents love to do! LOL - they argue CONSTANTLY)

yeah, that sandwich, with the addition of the bacon, would hit the spot! glad you enjoyed it!

sorry you got hit in the face with the storm....ummm, i'm picturing it right now...you do not look to happy...!

keep staying strong! very proud of you on the eating / diet end!

Maria7 on 11/26/2020:
Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you and your Family have a good day and enjoy your weekend.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/26/2020:
Happy Thanksgiving, InnerP!

innerpeace - Tuesday Nov 24, 2020

Weight: 296.4

Doing better today. It is better to forgive and begin another day than to be mad for long periods of time. I think I got my point across!

DH cleaned off the counter tops and wanted a freaking gold star medal. Hello I do it every freaking day! I don't take pictures and brag about it. Anyway, he was hurt that I didn't recognize the fact that he did this! It's the little things I guess. I will make it a point to say thank you.

Oh I scrubbed three bathrooms and vacuumed the second floor of the house and dusted everything and wash clothes EVERY weekend...but hey, I just do this because I don't want to live in a pig sty! YOU ARE WELCOME!  Point is, I never get a thank you...I don't take pictures and say...look what I did today!

Monday after work I took the doggos out - haven't been walking as far. It was very cold.

D: teriaki chicken, 1/2 cup fried rice, 1/2 cup low mein noodles

S: 7 caramel, vanilla, pumpkin, cinammon flavored pretzels (120 calories) I ate these about 8:00 p.m. so I was expecting blood sugar to be high.

Blood sugar this a.m. 122

B: granola, vanilla yogurt, french vanilla iced coffee

L: left over chicken

D: TBD - I have ground beef thawing out

Working in the office today - got my laptap configured, where I may never have to come into the office again!

It is a change of pace though!

Have a great Tuesday! IP

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 86.4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 11/24/2020:
Glad you've calmed down. Anger sucks out your energy.

Enjoy your day.

Donkey on 11/25/2020:
Annie is right; anger consumed a lot of energy. It's hard to do, but sometimes it's better for the angry person to just let it go and move on.

innerpeace - Monday Nov 23, 2020

Weight: 296.4


Friday - argue

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

L: left over turkey & swiss and 1/2 cookie

D: chicken ceasar salad with nachos

Saturday - angry cleaning

DH went to work

B: vanilla iced latte

DH brought BBQ home, so disgusted I couldn't eat

Finally ate the pulled pork and brisket for dinner - left the beans and loaded baked potato in the refrigerator

Sunday - more angry cleaning, laundry - argue

DH went to work and brought home pizza. I ate pizza - all day

Lunch pizza, dinner pizza.

Monday - argue and work from home (wishing I can go to the office - maybe tomorrow)

Court was changed (of course it was - COVID-19 rampant) Lawyer supposed to do some kind of zoom call today and will let us know what is going on. Why did I think it would just be easy - show up, talk to the judge, judge makes a decision. Well, I guess not - pretrial and all that other stupid BS so the lawyer can keep all the retainer. I'm at the point where I just think we wasted $2500 anyway and I really don't care about the outcome either. I just DO NOT care about anyone anymore!

DH all mad because I said his work treats him like sh1t, makes him work any kind of shift - he got home at 11:30 Friday night and went to work at 7:00 Saturday morning. (work is 45 minutes away so he was up at 5:30) I told him I don't care when/if he works it's his body. But what he's really mad at is because he got scammed and 'feels really embarrassed!' Yeah, sorry, don't believe that either, he told me he was talking to Mary for over 3 weeks. Who the f*ck carries on conversation with another woman for over 3 weeks and cares enough to send them $100? He's mad that he got caught!

Me...I feel like I've spent my life begging a man or waiting on a man and I'm not going to do that again. Men just straight up suck!

DH says - I'm not putting up with this - fine leave (he put up with worse BS for 22 years with the exPOS) or better yet! I WILL LEAVE - gladly to get out of this crappy state I moved up here to.

Anyway - I can be mad! That is all for today.

Do Monday! IP

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 86.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/23/2020:
It's OK to be mad. (((hugs)))

Jacky82020 on 11/23/2020:
You mean he met a random stranger on FB and sent her money? If that were my husband I’d need an attorney for battery or attempted homicide. Lol

grannyannie on 11/23/2020:
Sorry everything sucks right now! Hugs.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2020:
yes, sorry about all this arguing. and you have every right to be annoyed at all of the situations above.

just know you have done everything you could to make everything right.

and DH should be embarassed and all...he shouldn't be fooling around, even online!

horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2020:
I do hope you will continue with your health journey bc in the past few months you have proven you can do it more than you may have ever thought possible xoxo

legcramps on 11/24/2020:
I'm sorry, you have every reason to be upset. Hugs.

innerpeace - Friday Nov 20, 2020

Weight: 298.1

Emotions running high today! Who knew life could be so hard sometimes...

Men are idiots! I was looking for a photo and clicked on the deleted photo album and see things I guess I wasn't meant to see, but stupid DH apparently got scammed and sent someone $100 through pay pal. WTF? I ask and he says, 'she said she needed it!' Seriously he b!tches at me for handing a homeless, hungry guy $5.00 standing on the street corner. I'm like how hungry can she be with a cell phone, computer or whatever the hell she is talking to you with? And then you try to hide it!That makes me so sad! oh, I'm so mad.

I was walking the doggos and see all the chem trails...oh how I want to be on a plane to anywhere, but here!


Right now I hate Ohio and everyone in it and would rather be anywhere else...made me think of this meme I saw a few years back!!

(because Ohio sucks!)


Still disgusted with my appointment debacle....

The girl was able to come over. We talked a little about court on Monday - I can only hope things work out in our favor, if not - we tried and all we can do is keep, keeping on.

Picked up Arby's for me and DH and she wanted McDonald's. I was home all day but still could not muster energy or care to cook anything.

B: toast

L: cottage cheese, tomatoes, 1/2 avocado and 3 ouces of grilled chicken

D: 1/2 turkey swiss sandwich, sweet potato fries and 1/2 salted carmel cookie (Normally I would eat everything with no issues - but I'm on a mission here!)

Still just really super sad and just thinking how awful this year has been. And how I keep hoping things will get better, but i can see 2021 sucking too.

Blood sugar this a.m. 115

B: toast

L: left over sandwich, 1/2 cookie

D: teriaki chicken and something - maybe rice maybe noodles maybe

I am glad for the weekend though, because DH is working and FOOTBALL!

Have a good one TGIF! IP

Progress as of today: 39.8 lbs lost so far, only 88.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/20/2020:
My boss got scammed out of $900 in gift cards because he thought the electric company was going to shut off the power to the office building. He's a smart guy, he's wise (former prosecutor, former state's attorney), he's old/experienced - and even he fell for a scam. I'm sure that really hurts but I guess I'm saying it could have been worse, with more money???

Emotions running high - yep.

Jacky82020 on 11/20/2020:
I’d be furious if my husband did that! But it happens. Some good ppl do get scammed.

Jacky82020 on 11/20/2020:
That chem trail pic is awesome.

legcramps on 11/20/2020:
Yes, good people get scammed often. I'm sorry that happened and i'm sorry he tried to hide it from you. I would be angry as well and he is probably feeling very ashamed and upset over it himself.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2020:
DH may have felt the need to give someone $100...but most of my male counterparts would NEVER! ugh...DH!

grannyannie on 11/20/2020:
I don't trust anyone asking for money online. I get a lot of emails that I know are scams and pretend to be from Amazon or Paypal or various banks trying to get your password.

I'd be furious at DH.

grannyannie on 11/20/2020:
I have an aunt and uncle who live in Cincinnati. I have to say that driving on I-75 through Ohio is one of the most boring drives.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2020:
chem trails??

grannyannie on 11/21/2020:
Crossing my fingers all goes your way on Monday.

innerpeace - Thursday Nov 19, 2020

Weight: 298.1

I received a call yesterday that my doctor was not seeing paitents so they sent a link for a video call. I log in 20 minutes prior and sit for 45 minutes and no connection. I called...scheduler says the Dr. is working from home and doesn't have video access. I will give her your number and she will call. So I'm still waiting for that call. Appointment was at 10:00 - it is now 10:48 still no call. I was also going to ask about the telehealth MOVE program I did a few years ago, but really didn't take seriously, I think I'm ready to take it serious now. I'm feeling motivated, that I actually want to succeed.

Aggravated a little - if I didn't get the call by noon, I will call and reschedule my appointment. I understand things are changing, but it doesn't have to be so confusing!

The girl was picked up at noon. I asked her if she was coming back on Thursday - she said she didn't know. I haven't heard from her today, so not sure if she gets to come over or not...we will see. I think tensions are high over there and very uncomfortable. I just want the girl to be happy.

Yesterday I had planned on chicken marsala and when I start to make it, I realize there is no marsala. I hop in the car (forgetting all about COVID for some reason) and go to the Discount Drug store, hoping to find a small bottle of marsala cooking wine. Now this store has 999 kinds of bottles of wine, but no cooking wine...so I go to Wal-Mart and then it hits me...I'm out in crowds of people looking for something I really didn't need, just wanted! This is why COVID keeps spreading! People, including me, are just so spoiled and need instant gratification. I thought no more about that COVID than putting on my mask and going into the store. I just wanted the chicken marsala. So, stupid of me!

When I get home I scrub my hands and cook my chicken and all is well...for now.

L: scrambled eggs, totatoes

D: chicken marsala, ceasar salad and green beans

S: some cheese from the advent calendar DH bought me

Now it is 11:00, still waiting on my call...I am just going on with my day and I am going to walk my dogs.

Have a great Thursday! A Million Little Things!!!



Progress as of today: 39.8 lbs lost so far, only 88.1 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 11/19/2020:
Must have been very frustrating waiting for the video call. Are all the docs in your area doing that? I tried to do my last PCP visit that way, but the office said I had to come in. Guess they can bill higher that way!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2020:
I certainly agree. A doctor should have their act together...that's why they get paid the BIG BUCKS.

lol, you and everyone else including myself want instant gratification!!! hahaha

innerpeace - Wednesday Nov 18, 2020

Weight: 299.0

Picked up the girl - asked about homework - she showed me notifications she received from the teachers that they received/accepted her work. There are conference calls today - so will check these out. The girl's stepdad also said she could spend the night...not sure why - always think the worst here - she will probably not be able to come over tomorrow night.

Had the roast, it tasted good but was kinda dry.

Walked one of the doggos - the puppy just refused to walk in the cold, he even had a jacket on.

Slept pretty good.

B: yogurt, granola


D: chicken marsala, ceaser salad and green beans

OK...this is the best picture I've taken all year! My first goal...ladies....


I'm happy I met this goal.  I can't say I have been below 300 in almost 5 years...slow but sure. I get aggravated some days, but I'm glad I didn't stop! My next goal will be 275.

Blood sugar this a.m. 130 - a little higher than usual...

Working from home today. The girl is still here, not sure when she will be going home or be picked up.

Tomorrow I have Annual Leave scheduled so I can go to that doctor's appointment and hear her tell me how bad I am...but I know the struggle and I won't let her get me down. I will show her all the changes I have made since having COVID...I'm going to do it this time.

Have a great day! IP


Progress as of today: 38.9 lbs lost so far, only 89 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 11/18/2020:
Wow! Major congrats on hitting that milestone. Keep on keeping on!

My puppers weren’t exactly thrilled about being tossed out onto a snowy deck. The Frenchie came in and promptly crapped the floor. Fortunately they were firm and didn’t leave any residue when picked up.

grannyannie on 11/18/2020:

Horn_of_plenty on 11/18/2020:
I want to tell you a SUPER CONGRATS. all that hard work you put in for your dr's appt...it was all for a great cause and now to celebrate being in the 2's!!!! wonderful, InnerP!

The DR should be proud if she sees the improvements you have made so far...! you did great and were very accountable to yourself!

Donkey on 11/19/2020:
I'm so proud of you! Way to go!

legcramps on 11/19/2020:
Congratulations! That's wonderful news!!

innerpeace - Tuesday Nov 17, 2020

Weight: 301.0

A tech who works in our Regional HQ in Long Island and lives here was home and got sick, sick enough to be in the hospital a few weeks not with COVID but with Legionnaire's disease, a form of pneumonia. Anyway, Region asked if I would help him complete his retirement paperwork. So my afternoon was filled out with that. Very uncomfortable in other people's houses, with this COVID crap going on. I did all I could do for him.

Stayed in the office until noon.

B: toast, pineapple sugar free coolaid

L: orange, balanced breaks

D: DH put on a roast so roast, carrots and salad

The girl is not doing well in a couple of classes - she said she turned in all her work, but DH has emailed the teachers and they say...NO she hasn't. DH is kinda PO'd. The girl is PO'd...everyone is PO'd. We have court on Monday and her mother and step-father are slinging mud - and slinging hard...so I have no clue what will happen on Monday. I know somone will be upset on this day!

On a good note, today is my son's 34th birthday. I miss him so much.

Also, I am able to wear my wedding rings, first time in five years! Not that I wear jewelry, but it was nice knowing I can wear them again.

No walk today - work throws off my schedule and it is very cold with blowing snow and rain.

Not looking forward to Thursday and then again Monday will suck!

Have a great Tuesday! IP

Progress as of today: 36.9 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 11/17/2020:
Nice about the rings. I remember Legionnaires. Didn’t they discover some virus or whatever in the ventilation system? Saw some TV show lately. It pops up every once in a while. Good luck with the kid.

grannyannie on 11/17/2020:
Nice you can wear your wedding rings again! Mine is still a bit too snug.

thinkpositive on 11/17/2020:
Don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable in someone else’s house. Nice of you to help.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/18/2020:
you say it's very uncomfortable to be in other people's houses....whose house did you go to? bc the regional guy you say is on Long Island...so it couldn't be there! LOL

that's strange and confusing about the girl...i wonder what the real truth is!?

innerpeace - Monday Nov 16, 2020

Weight: 301.0

So Saturday night after almost 90 days...I caved and had a blizzard...and had the worst headache afterwards. Biggest hangover I've had in a long, long time. So won't be doing this again! Had a headache all night!

However blood sugar was 114 on Sunday morning so go figure!

Walked the dogs twice, just around the block because it was hella cold and the wind! OMG we have every single leaf in our front yard and garage. DH was still putting up Christmas lights and left the garage door open all day...so they found a haven in our garage. I freakin' hate leaves.

B: scrambled eggs and bacon, vanilla iced latte.

L: left over pizza

D: pork chop, salad and brussel sprouts

S: a few bites of sweet potato casserole

The girl came and left- she really didn't talk much this weekend. Did homework and watched her programs (The Secret Life of Teenagers and Vampire Diaries). Her little Tony Bologna didn't even come over because he had to babysit his little sister.

I washed laundry and did the Sunday chill...GO BROWNS!

Blood sugar this a.m. was 126

B: multi grain Cheerios, vanilla iced latte

L:  - yougurt and granola with a balance break

D: - made a chicken chilli (because I've been cold all day - after walking the dogs!)

Instacart is a GOD send! OMG I love it!

DH was going to grill chicken but he is going to work right now...because he is their beck and call boy! I guess I'm glad he is going to work still...because I can see our state shutting down again soon if things don't improve.

I hope you all have a great Monday...because it's here!

I will be going into the office tomorrow morning. I just can't NOT anymore. I stayed away for almost 10 days, but no more. Just for half a day though.



Progress as of today: 36.9 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 11/16/2020:
Did you get the headache from the big sugar dose or a brain freeze? I get brain freezes from eating frozen stuff too fast.

Not long till court now.

innerpeace on 11/16/2020:
I thinking from the sugar! But who knows. Next week is court. DH is getting nervous, but just today we got more 'ammunition' to use on our behalf. The girl is failing two subjects and she says she has sporatic wifi keeping her from turning in assignments. This doesn't work for home school situations. Impossible situations!

Donkey on 11/17/2020:
It's been very windy here lately. Here is how my weekends have been going:

Saturday - pick up & break down branches in the yard that fell because of the wind.

Sunday through Friday - wind storms.

Next Saturday - pick up & break down branches....

innerpeace - Saturday Nov 14, 2020

Weight: 301.0

Today was blah!

went to bed at 9:00 - up at 5:30.

Girl went to take her driving test...and failed! She can take it the next time she is over on the weekend.

Argued with DH over stupid sh!t - his dad, his POS exwife, Christmas decorations and dogs.

Took the doggos on the walk this a.m. while they were out taking the driving test and getting eye brows done.

blood sugar this a.m. was 118.

Got my blood tests results - not good - could have been worse I guess. 6.6 A1C - diabetic range and I have high red blood cell count that could be anything...not good.

My appointment is next Thursday so I will hear all about it...and probably be on stupid pills.

I will keep working.

Ate pizza tonight - didn't binge, but had more than I should.

Walked the doggos again this evening, so now I'll chill for the rest of the night.

Hope your Saturday was better!  IP

Progress as of today: 36.9 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2020:
well, girlie i am sure can learn from her 1st driver's test. I passed mine the first time, but only by a tiny thread! She can prob see her results and work she needs to work on :) no biggie.

sorry you and hubby have been arguing.

despite your blood test not being what you wanted, i'm looking at your weight chart here and it looks GREAT! You look to be close to breaking into the 200's!!!!! way to go, InnerP!

There are quite a few DDers who are doing really well on this: you, Donkey, Jacky! I may be forgetting someone! the rest of us seem to be doing well at maintenance which is also good.

you just keep doing you...dr doesn't know your life and can only give suggestions. you seem to be doing really well and that's what matters.

grannyannie on 11/15/2020:
You'll do fine. Pizza is hard to moderate.

Ex's can be such a nightmare!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/15/2020:
all the hard work you've been putting in, to eat better, really did pay off with a lot of weightloss for you!

Jacky82020 on 11/15/2020:
I had a surprisingly high glucose level one time and the next time it was fine. Also get bad BP readings and retake an hour later and all is well

innerpeace - Friday Nov 13, 2020

Weight: 301.0

Had the last two days off - avoided all blue screens - my eyes are strained and just plain tired of electronic glow!

After blood work yesterday just relaxed and walked the doggos

Brunch (after blood work) - Wendy's croissant

Lunch: Grilled chicken, cottage cheese, 1/2 avocado

D: wanted spaghetti, DH wanted goulash - so I had a spaghetti goulash - not intentional but the tomatos I used was preseasons with garlic and oregano, so it tasted like spaghetti sauce. It was just OK.

I think the girl is going to try and take the driving permit test - or maybe not...one minute she is the next...NOT, so who knows.

DH wants to go look at a Jeep show...I don't really want to go, but will if he asks.

Working from home - trying to finish a few things...and have a plate of more to do.

No plans for dinner - maybe order out.

Have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 36.9 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 11/13/2020:
Jeep show might be okay. It's an outing anyway. Don't get those here.

My granddaughter is going to get her learner's permit soon. She'll be 16 in July.

Jacky82020 on 11/13/2020:
I am always getting dragged to car shows! Well, not so much since covid. Big events and small closed down here since March.

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2020:
Wendy’s croissant = maybe tomorrow I get myself a croissant too!

The good thing about the car show is it’s something to do instead of sitting home ;)

Donkey on 11/14/2020:
When do you get your blood work results back? Hope you have a nice weekend!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2020:
yes, when you get your blood results back let us know. we hope the best for you.

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