- Thursday Sep 17, 2009
Arrrrgggghhhh. I saw him this morning through the drive-through window and my heart started to beat wildly. I ignored him. Totally. And me and my wildly beating heart hardly made it out of the drive-through.
I think I should start a blog called "breaking up & the rocky road to recovery" so that I could at least vent somewhere other than in a diet journal. Geez. I suck.
I went for supper last night with friends and got home quite late. So i'm a bit tired this morning ;O) Had chicken for supper and not a whole lot of it, either, surprisingly. That's a good thing!
A biscuit and coffee this morning, sandwich is planned for lunch. Chicken leftovers for supper with...hmmm...that I don't know yet.
- Tuesday Sep 15, 2009
I didn't have the best night last night. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I ate a lot of crackers.
Anyways, I feel a little better today, so i'm just going to go with it and see where I end up. I have nothing planned for tonight except to watch Big Brother Finale on tv, so it may be another long night. I hope not, i'm getting pretty sick of 'em. I'm feeling like I need to find me a Mr. Right Now!!!
Since i've been in a bit of a slump i've gotten nothing more done with unpacking or finding myself bookcases. I did see my Dad on the weekend and he bought a water cooler and a nice bench for the mud room for me for a housewarming gift. I set those up right away and i'm so glad - they're just perfect in my space!
I am spending some time reading as well. Got myself a big thick book about vampires and witches and werewolves and it's incredibly easing reading so I don't have to do much thinking. There are too many other thoughts going in circles in my mind! It's pretty good, and i'm already halfway through the book. Thank goodness a friend has all the other ones, so I can pick up where I leave off.
As I said, my eating yesterday was good up until the cracker fiasco. I was even thinking about how good I was doing when I subconsciously went downstairs to the pantry and pulled out the box. Sometimes, just sometimes, I am a loser... :0)
I'm taking the dog for a walk after work today. Yes, I am.
- Friday Sep 11, 2009
Oh, i'm glad it's Friday!! What a week it's been...
Last night I went out with ex's sister since it was her birthday and she didn't seem to have anyone else to do anything with besides her boyfriend. Anyways, we went out to the bar and who do you think is there?? Ex, of course. In a stinking, drunken state. He didn't see us right away, thank goodness, so we were able to carry on a conversation and get most of it out before he saw us and came over. Firstly, he wanted me to dance with him. When I said that I was talking to his sister, he pouted at me. In the bar! Pouted! Then, he asked his sister to dance with him. She said she was talking to me and didn't want to dance. He pouted again, then finally walked off in a huff. Oy. Soon after that, I left. I figured he was in the right mood to try to get even with me by doing something very silly. I needed to get to sleep anyways :) His sister was very happy that I came out for a drink with her, though, so that made my day!
My eating was good yesterday, structured and no cheating. No exercise though. Well, sort of exercise, but I probably wouldn't stack it up against yours!
Tonight I might go to the movies with my mother and her friend. "Julie & Julia" is playing.
- Wednesday Sep 09, 2009
I'm having a bad day today. I ended up having a choppy sleep last night, and into the mix was a dream (nightmare) that woke me up in a terrible rage. I'm sure that's the reason for my edginess today. Got to get over it. Need to be more aware of my own resourcefulness and of the things that are important to me.
My eating is good, at some point I just need to add some exercise to the menu. Maybe i'll take the dog for a walk today after work. I'm sure she would love it.
Tonight i'm waxing legs with a friend. Have I thanked God for my friends lately? Thank you God!!!
- Tuesday Sep 08, 2009
I'm so worried about this darn mortgage. Every time I try to do a budget for my monthly expenses, I turn up short!!! OMG, I just can't even think about it anymore, it's burning a hole in my stomach i'm sure.
The weekend was horribly stressful with my ex's dog. He's just soooooo emotional, that dog! Anyways, i'm glad it's over. I love the dog, don't get me wrong, I just can't handle him on my own.
Ex had his sister's wedding on the weekend, his mother stopped to talk to me today and said that I was very much missed. It is so sad. It's sad because it's so easy for some people to just throw everything away because they think "the grass is greener on the other side". Some days I want to be vengeful and tell everyone exactly what ex was up to before we split and exactly how much I got hurt. Then I think of all the people that would be hurt by what I say, and I can't bring myself to do it. I just wish people would realize what kind of person he is; maybe that would give me some sort of redemption in all of this foolery. Just spouting, venting, needing to get the thoughts off my chest. Ignore!
I ate too much over the weekend, trying to clean out the fridge. Lots of macaroni salad, gosh my stomach hurts just thinking about all the macaroni salad I ate... hopefully back on track today.
Not much else to report. Tonight a friend is coming to watch t.v. (it's a weekly thing); tomorrow might be a waxing night, and that's as far ahead as i'm gonna go for the moment!
- Friday Sep 04, 2009
Another day at my new house, and Zoe (my dog) and I are slowly beginning to get used to the whole idea... now that Chewy (my ex's dog) is here for the weekend, it is complete chaos as we knew it would be. Chewy is not a fan of going to other's homes, and he is making a total scene today. When I went home for lunch, he cried and cried and cried. Then, I could hear him barking when I left the house to come back to work. He's really going to have a hard time here this weekend, but hopefully once he is back at home coming over to my place to visit may not seem like such a big deal anymore.
I'm trying to finish off the leftovers from the past few days - lots of BBQ food leftover, and some chili too. It may not be nutritionally best for me, but i'm gonna empty out that fridge! Once i'm through this food, then I can start fresh with some really great food choices. Exciting!!
Going to take the dogs for a walk after work today, then have coffee scheduled with friends later on. Maybe it will be an early night. That would be okay.
- Thursday Sep 03, 2009
Well, I managed to move into my new house over the last couple of days, but i've got containers and containers of crap that still needs to be unpacked and put somewhere... i'm absolutely exhausted but had to come back to work as there is just too much to do here! I will be so glad when the week is over, even though i've only worked three days out of five!
I will have to look after both dogs this weekend, so that will take up most of my time, but i'm hoping to get a few more containers unpacked and continue adding to my list of needs (garden hose, toothpaste, dish soap, etc...).
My eating is beginning to return to normal, and am trying to cut back on the obscene amounts of caffeine. Eventually, it will even out and i'll get back to my normal routine.
My dog was so enthusiastic when I brought her over to the house last night! She was absolutely excitable! She almost vibrated with happiness... me too, I think.
- Monday Aug 24, 2009
The race is over and even though I did not win any medals or can't really gloat over how well I did, I finished it and that is accomplishment enough, especially with everything else that's been happening in my life thus far. I can only move forward and hope for better next year.
I am so sad that summer is nearly over. What a horrible, horrible summer it's been. I recently found out that someone I had called 'friend' had split up with her husband then started talking constantly to my ex while we were still together, flirting with him and secretly texting him. It is incredibly painful to know you've been betrayed by a friend, AND your boyfriend. I am not sure what to think or say, but I am so tired of it that right now I don't really care. I know that I deserve better than to be treated this way.
I am eating quite well lately, and today am planning on going for a walk after work. It is truly amazing how life can be so much better when even just a little stress is released from your shoulders.
I will be in my new house on Sept 1st!! I am sooooo darn excited, i've invited almost everyone I know to come and party with me that night and take a look at my house. That means i'll probably have to take the 1st off work so that I can prepare to have people over. But, EXCITING!!
- Friday Aug 14, 2009
I have had a pretty good week off of work, so far. I'm glad there's still one more week to go before I go back to work, though. I'm not sure if i'm getting anything done, but i'm having fun all the same!
Well, all of the inspections have been completed on the house with great results, so i'm told, so i'm heading into the realtor's office this afternoon to seal the deal and get on with it! I'm pumped, excited about this new change in my life. Still broken-hearted, but I now know that there are brighter, more wonderful things waiting for me just around the corner.
The run is coming up in about one week's time, and I am really not ready for it. I'll just have to do my best though, and use this as incentive for next year. I am hoping that once I am in my new house I will be better able to make a few lifestyle changes for the better and continue on with doing what is best for me.
- Monday Aug 10, 2009
I think my plan will be to not attend ex's sister's wedding and send a gift and a note to her instead. Thanks for the advice, the advice my friends here gave me seemed a little too uncool for me. I am still hurting very much from the split and I believe I will be hurting for a long time - this wasn't something I wanted to have happen, but you can't change people and my ex doesn't seem to really care too much. If I am still hurting by the time of the wedding, I will only bring other people and myself down.
I have been eating a lot better, although much of it has been eating out. My friends have been feeding me non-stop as well, so I don't have to worry about not having food in the fridge right now.
The mortgage on my house went through, so now all I need to do is wait for the inspection and the posession date, which is September 1st! Yeehaw! I will be so happy to be out of ex's house - it plays with my head and hurts all the more.
I am on holidays for two weeks starting today and it looks like the weather will be quite nice this week so i'll try to take advantage of it and do some walking during the day.