I swear I have a coffee hangover today from all the coffee I drank yesterday in honor of National Coffee Day

Another cup should get rid of it.

Life went pretty well yesterday. I tried a new experiment: eating something before boot camp to ensure I don't run out of energy; perhaps in the process healing my shin pain issue 'cause miracles can happen to you and to me too.

After work I had a snack of a toasted bagel with almond butter and 1/2 an apple before boot camp. I felt good, full of energy. The first half of boot camp went well, I even bragged that I felt good. The bagel, almond butter and apple were doing their job, giving me enough energy to work hard in the class. I was feeling no shin pain.

The second half of boot camp was spent feeling like I was gonna throw up the bagel, almond butter and apple.

Next time, i'll try only half a bagel. But still, no shin pain so that's good. One day at a time.

I am debating resting tonight and running tomorrow morning. I might have to resign myself to the fact that i'll need a rest day after boot camp sessions. I think i'm gonna go ahead and pay for February's sessions too. It's definitely working, so why not?

I was told once by a guy in the 10th grade that I was cool. I thought he was being sarcastic, and he actually meant cool, as in, icy. COLD: marked by a lack of the warmth of normal human emotion, friendliness, or compassion <a cold stare> <got a cold reception>; also : not moved to enthusiasm <the movie leaves me cold>

Today, however, I am cool in the most literal sense of the word. COLD: marked by the loss of normal body heat <cold hands>; especially : dead

Oh Lord, that wasn't the right definition. Hang on... COLD:  having or being a temperature that is uncomfortably low for humans <it is cold outside today> <a cold drafty attic>

I don't really think I could be any more cold, but I don't want to tempt the forces of nature to prove me otherwise. I just checked the forecast for today and it's -31 celsius without windchill, which would add another -5 degrees or so. That's -32.8 fahrenheit according to http://www.metric-conversions.org/temperature/celsius-to-fahrenheit.htm. I don't know if you think that's cold, but I sure do.

I downloaded a radio station on my cell phone yesterday and was really eager to use it at the gym. Before I left the house, I checked my wall calendar because I was curious to see how much i've been working out lately. After I checked it, I changed my mind and decided to stay at home and rest, because:

From December 15 to December 31, I did nothing according to my calendar, which is kept pretty up-to-date.

From January 1 to January 18, I've worked out 13 times.

That's a huge difference from December to January. That is probably why my shins hurt. I need to get used to working out more before I can actually work out more ;) So what did I do for my surprise rest day? I ate sushi and watched V (Visitors) and it was great :)

14.87 miles run - 235.13 miles left

Hi ladies :) I feel much better today, much thanks to all of you lovely girls who took the time to make a positive comment yesterday and made me smile :)

Boot camp was like torture. As in, "please God, will it ever end?" kind of torture. I didn't know one person could do so many suicide jumps and not pass out purely from lack of blood flow to the brain. At one point the instructor asked if "anyone out there hates me now", and I raised my arm as high as I could in reply to let him know that yes, he was definitely pissing me off. Then he laughed and said "well you told me to make it harder". I'm sorry, but I don't remember saying any such thing. No wonder I had to walk it out halfway through - here I thought I was just incompetent and he went and raised the freakin' bar!

My shins starting hurting around that time too, so i've decided if it's nice enough outside today I will try running outside with my other running shoes. I want to see if my shins will still hurt wearing them or if it really is due to the runners i'm wearing indoors. If it's really cold, maybe a long walk on the treadmill at the gym.

My eats have been good over the past few days and I even weighed myself today to record a bit of a loss! Finally!

It's supposed to be warming up within the next day or two, so i'm worried that my walls will start leaking again. I think I might bite the bullet and call a snow removal guy to come and clear the roof and even possibly put up those electric heat thingies for me (truthfully, I don't know what they're called). If it costs me half my pay, I think the answer will be "no thanks", but I really need to get it done so anything under that amount I think i'll have to go for. Sigh. I hate making decisions.

Update***

I had forgotten that i'd made a resolution this year to run 250 miles, so I just want to add my countdown to zero :)

14.87 miles run - 235.13 miles left

I'm sorry I went off like I did in my post yesterday. I was really feeling like He had pushed me down and was stepping all over me.

I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but it's terribly cold here now and so my walls haven't been leaking... it's a nice reprieve seeing as I won't be able to do anything about it until the end of the week when I get to spend over $100 on electric heater cord thingies for my roof. Which I will then have to figure out how to attach them to the roof without killing myself or anyone around me because I can't afford to hire someone to do it for me. Did I already say they are over $100? For tiny little cords sitting on my roof? Ridiculous.

I had a little trouble motivating myself to go to the gym yesterday, but I got there in the end. I really, really wanted to do a long run, anything over 3 miles, but it just wasn't to be. My shins were really hurting by the time I finished the compulsory 2 miles, so I just called it quits and went home to ice them and relax. I think they continue to hurt because 1) I am doing a lot more than I was in December and it's probably a bit of a shock to those poor legs, and 2) It could be that i'm not wearing appropriate footwear at the gym. I wear runners, but they're cheap ones and may not be providing enough support.

Thank goodness an evening meeting has been cancelled for tonight; that means I get to go to boot camp. I have a feeling it will be another "venting" session ;)

Ugh! All this snow is driving me insane! I want to go on strike against Mother Nature. I don't like her at all right now.

The snow is really piling up, and it's weighing heavily on my rooftop. Water is even starting to seep in between the walls. If I don't get this fixed asap, I don't know what i'll do. I just hate being a homeowner sometimes.

As you might be able to tell, i'm not in a great mood this morning. I got to work and there've been problems ever since. All of this is grating on my last nerve and it's only Monday morning! I feel like packing up and going home only the stupid water coming down inside the walls of my house would grate on me even more! I knew everything was going too well for me...

My weekend was spent doing laundry, shovelling, cleaning up around the house and fretting about all the snow we're getting. I think I may have made myself sick. And angry. Very angry at Mother Nature, but i've already touched on that.

Anyways, all this re-iterating and remembering is giving me a headache, and apparently I have a lot to contend with this week at work, so i'm gonna beg off. I really hope I can at least get over the incredible anger that keeps washing over me every few minutes. I kinda wish for once that life would go well for longer than two weeks at a time.

Yes, i'm definitely on an exercise high and can totally imagine getting burnout soon. Must be very careful.

Boot camp was awesome. It's amazing how a person can feel so exhausted and yet not be exhausted at all. I was so tired yesterday at work and after work. I just really didn't want to go to boot camp because I figured it would be a struggle for me the whole time because I was exhausted. But I got my crap together long enough to get in the car and drive over to the gym in time for the class.

It was really hard to get into it. My shoulders felt like they were hanging out at my waistline, that's how bummed I felt about being there. I just wasn't willing to put in the effort. And then the instructor started making us run, getting our heartrates up, switching things up - pissing me off. And I must've crossed whatever barrier was holding me back, because after that little rip up, I was good to go. In fact, I was mentally asking Mr. Instructor Dude to freakin' Bring It On.

It wasn't that I found any extra energy, it's just that I found some adrenaline and a pace that was more interesting. The class sped by after that and I went home tired but really happy that i'd gone.

My eating over the past week leaves something to be desired. I've been taking in sodium like crazy and I can feel it in the bloatedness of my body. It's impossible to start working out at a higher intensity without adding the required fuel that I need to get me through the classes. This means i've been eating more, but i've also been choosing foods that realistically I don't require. I think it'll be back to chicken next week - for the past few weeks i've been making meals with red meat and maybe I need to slow down on the red meat for a bit. The trouble is that most red meat products are far less costly :( and i'm on a tight budget and therefore need to seriously consider what i'm spending money on.

Anyways, hope you're all doing well and it's Friday so i'm GOING TO take the time to comment on your entries today - I have a few priority jobs to do and THAT'S ALL i'm gonna do today ;)

Phew, first break in the day.

So yesterday after work I ran a few errands then went home to ponder whether I should work out or not. I really didn't want to overdo it and burn myself out, so I was trying to talk myself out of it. Like really, how often does that happen?! I ended up managing to stay out of the gym and inside the house for a solid hour before giving up. In that hour I walked around doing chores and picking up after myself; so strong was my resolve to workout that I decided at that point to do some stairclimbing. I ran upstairs, got changed into my workout clothes, ran down the stairs and turned around and ran back up again. This occurred for about ten minutes to get me huffing and puffing and nice and loose. Then I jogged around inside the house for five minutes. It feels a lot different jogging around without any runners on :)

Anyways so I got in 15 minutes of exercise and felt better about myself afterwards, so all is good in my world. I know I didn't overdo it, but I still got up and moving and did something.

Then I phoned out-of-province 55 times to help my brother try to get their kids into French Immersion kindergarten.

Then I had about 1500 e-mails to answer.

Then Dog puked all over my bed sheets.

The frustrating feelings I had by the end of the night seem to have runneth over into today. I'm so ready for boot camp tonight to let off some steam. Seriously, when the chair of a meetings says "please silence your cellphones" it means SILENCE them, don't put them on vibrate. I realize the sound of a vibrating phone shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it's debatable when they go off one after the other and i'm trying to listen to a soft-spoken person talk all morning.

Day 2 of the Boot Camp soapie:   "Wasted"

It was in the middle of a lunge. It happened so quickly, I barely had the chance to even ponder the shock. Amidst the groaning and crying and baying of the crowd around me, great effort was being put forth in the last few minutes of the session, sort of like an all-out "last chance" workout. Sweat rolled off foreheads, those who had larger breasts probably felt as if they'd been ripped right off their bodies. I was lunging beside a woman slightly older than I, slight in build; a bouncy, jolly person. I wanted to hurt her. "Urgh" I said aloud, not caring who heard me. She looked over at me and said, "oh, it's almost over, don't worry" in her bouncy, jolly voice. I barely even turned my head her way, mentally motioning to her with my middle finger. "Urgh" was all I said in reply. And here is where time slowed down. I sweep my right leg forward and move down into a lunge; the instructor, who is standing very near me, slowly turns his head towards where I am. I try to move up out of the lunge. My right leg buckles, I take in a sharp breath of air and am suddenly helpless as I start to fall towards the floor. I see the instructor move slightly towards me; I slam into the floor with my right hand and push myself back up into a standing position. The instructor stops, his hands suspended in the air. I am shaking, sweating, wasted. His job is done.

Can you believe that? I swear it's true. My legs were totally wasted last night. I was praying all class for a running break but it was all about working the legs. Intense. I only had enough energy for one helping of my most perfect taco salad EVER. And why is it so perfect, you ask? I dunno, i'm sorry. I don't have the energy to go over the ingredients.

I think I lost three pounds in water weight just during that one class. But don't worry, i'm sure i'll find a way to get them back ;)

I am itching to run, but am trying to restrain myself from doing anything today. My shins hurt, I know I need to rest. But I am itching to run.

So yesterday the plan was to go to the gym for a run on the treadmill. I got there late and had to hurry to get my runners on and stand in line to get the next available treadmill. Ha-ha. Kidding. There was only, like, three people there. Five including Running Buddy and me.

I decided to try a speed workout, mostly due to the fact that I was too scared to see how far I could run because I figured it wouldn't be very far at all.

The workout went alright until the very end. I was doing pretty good, had paced myself properly and wasn't too out of breath, but my left shin was starting to bother me. I ran through it until my right hip started to tweak. I think I must've been over-compensating on the right side. Anyways, the following thoughts ran through my head at this point: "do you want to give it your very best and push past all your limits and go for it today? or do you feel enough pain that you think maybe it isn't about pushing past limits but rather knowing when to stop, leaving the glory for another day?" I was in a little bit of pain, mostly through the shin and I was scared that I would overdo it and not be able to go to Boot Camp tonight. So I walked it out from then on. This morning the shin still hurts, so i'm hoping I didn't do any major damage and will be able to make it to Boot Camp.

Then I went home and made the most perfect taco salad EVER.

And I had seconds, because that's what you do when you make the most perfect taco salad EVER.

So the moral of the story is this: run more, eat more.

Sigh. I will stop analyzing my life now.

These last three days off have been really good for me.  I managed to talk (a.k.a. complain) to three different people about my work situation (four including you guys :)), and I feel tons better about everything.  One friend suggested that I stop trying to get everything done and start realizing that even though it is engrained in me to work hard and try to be everything to everyone, I have to show some concern for my own health right now.  So i'm going to slow down, leave aside the things that don't need to be done, and if i'm asked about it I will then discuss workload and possible compensation over and above what i'm getting now.  It feels good to have a plan :)

I watched a lot of tv this weekend.  Reality shows, weight loss shows, movies...  I also did some more laundry, hung out with friends, visited with family.  It was a really nice weekend - too bad we're usually moving so quickly through life that we don't realize we need to spend more time doing these things.  Maybe not all that tv watching ;) but definitely more hanging out with friends and family.

Since I failed my attempt at running on Friday, I thought i'd give it another try on Sunday evening.  In general, it went well but I wish two things would have been different:  1) I wish the golden lab wouldn't have shown up and antagonized my dog so much so that she started nipping at her.  Yes, my little cock-a-poo turned psycho on a 65 pound lab.  Gawd.  2) I wish the golden lab wouldn't have shown up and antagonized my dog so much that it took half my run to draw her attention away from the fact that the lab was not 200 feet behind us at most times, probably staring her down no doubt.  Hence, my breathing was labored throughout the whole run as I was constantly yelling at my dog to keep up with me.  Oh well, another two miles is done, come hell or high water.

Tonight i'm supposed to be running on the treadmill at the gym.  Joy.