Ok, so I managed to struggle through the day yesterday, and I guess it wasn't really all that horrible like I tried to lead you to believe.  It was not bad, actually.  I could have dropped the curling, but it did give me a chance to socialize a bit so i'm looking on the brighter side.  And, as i've been reminded, there are people who are in a much darker place right now than I, so I will be grateful for where I am and what I have, and hold those who are less fortunate in my everyday prayers.

I had a wonderful breakfast this morning:

1/2 banana, 2 strawberries, 6 blueberries, 2 pieces of 60% whole wheat texas toast with light, lactose-free margarine and peanut butter, and 2 fried eggs.

Picked up a large mocha on my way to work, and drank the last 1/2 bottle of Pepsi (I promise I won't buy another one today).

Lunch will be leftover fish n'chips.

Then I am getting my hair colored after work, so I told my boyfriend if he gets home before me and is hungry he should throw the last frozen pizza in the freezer into the oven because that was my plan for tonight anyways.  I will need to buy more groceries tonight:  I need bread, eggs, milk, orange juice, and some other things I wrote down.

A full day, but that means it will pass quickly and before we know it, the weekend will be here again!  I can't wait, as it's my turn to think of an outing for date night!!!  Any ideas?

Well, I am still horking up a lung everytime I need to let out a little cough, and i'm still sneezing and sniffling and just generally forcing everyone to feel sorry for me.  I did take Tylenol Cold & Flu, all weekend, and i'm sure it helped me to not be more sick than I was, but I was still sick.  I tried to nap on Saturday, but that didn't work.  I drank 4 litres of orange juice and the same in water.  I ate lots of fruit.  I sucked on throat drops and rubbed Vicks Vaporub into my chest at almost every opportunity.  I've never been so hell-bent on getting over a virus.  And now.  I'm tired.  I'm so tired from trying so hard to get over this "thing" that i'll end up giving in and letting it ripple through me, leaving catastrophic damage in its' wake.  Yes, i'm so....exaggerating, but the end result is the same - i'm not getting better and this is going to be another terrible start to another terrible year.  These are the things that go through my mind, people... paranoia really sucks.

If I could only breathe properly and think clearly, I could get back into the swing of going to the gym and watching what I eat.  I'm so tired!! sob story.

You know what the icing on the cake is??  I have to curl tonight.  My God, the pity-party just never ends, does it?

I have not been doing a whole lot lately.  Let's see... on Tuesday we discovered that our plumbing was plugged up and we couldn't drain water without seeing it come back up into the basement.  I took the whole evening off, I can't remember what I did, but it wasn't much.  Wednesday the plumbing still wasn't fixed and my boyfriend was sick as a dog from this stupid flu virus that held onto me for a couple of weeks near christmas.  My friend was also not feeling well, so we skipped the gym and I stayed at home and asked my boyfriend every few minutes if he was feeling better yet.  Yesterday they finally came to fix our plumbing issues, and we were again able to drain water without worrying about where it was going.  My friend still was not feeling well and I was starting to cough and sneeze.  My boyfriend was feeling better and had started to move around and do a few things.  I decided to skip the gym again and watched a movie laying on the couch instead.

This morning I woke up and really wished I hadn't.  For some reason, mother nature figured me having the flu for two weeks just wasn't long enough.  I have officially caught whatever my friend and my boyfriend had, and am sneezing about 10 times per minute, which isn't as much fun as it might sound like.  I am also coughing and my throat is quite sore and scratchy.  After work today I think I will drive straight to the drug store and buy myself some Tylenol Flu medication.  Screw this riding it out stuff, I have things to do and I don't want to be sick this weekend.

My boyfriend and I are going out on a date tonight, we are going to go for supper then out to the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey.  I am looking forward to it and i'm hoping that my silly cold will not get in the way of all the hand-holding that could possibly be going on in the dark theatre... hahaha.

So.  Lots of Vitamin C, orange juice, water, and Tylenol Flu after work.  Flu, i'm going to beat you this time.

Hey everyone,

Is it ever busy at work today.  I was off yesterday, so today i'm playing a game of 'catch-up' and, well, let's just say i'm not winning...

Chicken salad tonight for supper, maybe with some garlic bread but that means i'll have to hit up the grocery store after work and i'm TIRED, people.  I could just crawl underneath my desk and go right to sleep.  But I guess I should go because I need peppers and onions and cheese as well, otherwise it just wouldn't be chicken salad.  Maybe I should grab a bottle of wine, too.  A glass of wine with supper.  Mmmn.

My weekend was good but not quite relaxing, especially when you've got two people (my boyfriend and his sister) who are very high-energy and are constantly either a) doing something, or b) worrying about doing something.  Other than that it was great, even the aptly named 'sharing circle' over Sunday night dinner when we all aired our frustrations in a quick 60 minute conversation.  Oh well.  It's gotta happen sometimes, right?!  At least this way, I knew that I wasn't the only one going through relationship issues, and my boyfriend's sister became aware that her big brother wasn't perfect.  Although it wasn't my intent to have her find that out, I wasn't exactly displeased that she agreed with my arguments over some of the issues my boyfriend and I are having.  Feels good to have someone on your side, you know?

I may go to the gym tonight, may do some tobogganing, may not do anything at all.  I have the night off from curling (YEE-HAW!), so I might just take advantage of that and do my laundry instead.

On Wednesday night I went to a community meeting regarding setting up a dog park in our town.  I am very hopeful that this is something we will be able to do, as I believe it is very important to the health of the community as a whole and will benefit both dogs and their owners in healthy participation in community events.  We've never been able to hold such functions as dog shows/events, fundraisers for humane societies, hosting training sessions, etc. so it will definitely be a large boost for the town and its residents.  I'm excited about it, but at the same time i'm hoping that the committee won't overload us with work in regards to it!  I want to be a part of this great benefit to the community - just not at the expense of my frugal recreational time!  I'm confident that it will work out though, somehow.

My boyfriend and I are taking a trip this weekend to visit his sister, so i'm not sure how much I will be able to exercise.  That bums me out a little, but I know when I get back that my friend will not let me waver any longer on the threshold of healthy living!  Thank goodness for friends!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

After the eggs and toast for breakfast yesterday, I followed up with another 2 slices of toast for lunch and Shepard's Pie (spelling? wrong? probably) for dinner.  I loaded the pie with every type of vegetable in the house, aside from mushrooms, which, thinking about it now would have been pretty darn yummy...

Drank my quota of water last night, finishing the last .5 liter at the gym.  Tonight we upped our minutes to 4 1/2 minutes jogged per 30 minutes of treadmill time.  I know, it's not much, but we're working on it.  It used to be only 3 minutes, so we're doing a lot better!

Life at home is getting better each day, although I am an emotional wreck most of the time and it doesn't take much for me to change emotions and moods.  Oh well, I am grateful as each day ends and I look forward to spending the nights with my boyfriend, so that is definitely on the brighter side of things...

Oh my God.  If this is what happens everytime I decide to own up to my mistakes and unhealthy habits, then I am going to live in a hut all by myself for the rest of my life.  No, really.  Really.

I confronted my boyfriend on Friday night and this weekend has been the worst in my life.  Maybe.  Close to the worst anyways.  For the first hour of the conversation, we had both decided that this wasn't what we wanted and we didn't want to salvage it or make any effort to repair the destruction.  We were happy (not really, but you know what I mean) to cut our losses and move on.  We found that we had started to make plans to move apart even before having this conversation.  It seemed like a cut and dry argument - there wasn't anything to fight over.  Then the blood started leaking out of the cracks in the walls.  Harsh words were spoken but truth prevailed and we both needed to hear it.  Aha, we weren't ready to call it quits just yet.  There were some major issues we needed to deal with, but could we make the effort to pull it together long enough to salvage what we'd spent five years destroying?

End result:  we have some issues to deal with; issues that are huge and scary and i'm not sure if we can get through them.  The fortunate thing is that we're both willing to try.  If we can communicate with each other instead of wasting the others' time, we might actually have a shot.  We'll see, and take it one day at a time, and accept that whatever we decide it will be the right decision for us - together or apart.

I went to the gym last night and did my treadmill workout.  I need to start upping the number of minutes that I run - maybe next week i'll start on that.  I had a terrible stress-related headache before going to the gym, but felt so much better afterwards. 

I got groceries yesterday too, and picked up a lot of good foods - now I just have to cook and prepare them and I should be able to eat nothing but healthy foods this week!  Today I had eggs and toast for breakfast, and brought strawberries and bananas to work to snack on this afternoon because that's usually when I get the most hungry!  No excuses today!!

Not much new to report today... I haven't really done anything in the past two days that would be beneficial to my health.  Just being honest :}

However, I am writing down what I eat and trying hard to keep drinking water and I think that's an honorable start, no?!  We haven't been back to the gym for a few days, planning on going tonight and I think it is most likely to happen since my friend will not let us slide. 

I watched 'Twilight' last night.  Pretty good, I had already read the book so was a little disappointed as usual that the movie didn't turn out quite the same way as the book portrays its characters.  Oh well, it was still a good movie.

Planning on watching Charmed with some friends this weekend.  I bought the first season, another friend has the second and the final seasons, so we're going to start watching the first season and in the meantime look for the other seasons.  We're Charmed lovers...

The homefront is not good these days.  My boyfriend continues to disappoint me and now i'm starting to wonder if my expectations are set too high.  It could be, but my main concern is that I am not happy and I need to do something about that.  I'm trying to let him know, but he has avoided conversing with me for about three days now, so i'm not sure how i'm going to get his attention long enough to let him know that i'm having issues.  My friend thinks that I come across as intimidating because I am too much of a logical thinker and I want answers right now and all that.  But i'm tired of treating him gingerly so that his feelings don't get hurt.  It just can't always be about what's best for him.

So yesterday was my curling night.  You know, I really do suck at curling.  I'm trying to find a polite and respectful way of telling my teammates that there is no possible way I am going to put myself through this next year.  My biggest complaint to date is that I can't hear anything!  I'm so horribly deaf out on the rink, everyone's voices gets inter-mingled and I can't pick out a conversation to save my life!  If I hear sweep, I sweep, and then I realize afterwards that the voice I heard was three sheets over!  Oy.  Anyways, even without the hearing impairment, I still suck at curling.  And.  Really.  Let's face it - I don't actually care all that much about getting any better, either.  I just don't.  But that's not polite and respectful, so i'll have to keep thinking about how to break it to my teammates.

I drank a litre of water yesterday.  It's a good start and i'm hoping that eventually we can work ourselves up to three litres, but we'll see about that.  I'm doing this with the same friend that has agreed to run with me in August.  We're taking things slowly and i'm okay with that because i'm in no rush lately... literally... I was late to curling last night and late to work this morning because I couldn't get my lazy butt to move around the house fast enough... so it's okay that I don't have to work too hard to drink so much water.  Yes, i'm okay with that.  Yes, i'm babbling.

My period is not hurting as much as usual (knock on wood).  I wonder if it's because I was taking Advil for about three days before I got my period... hmmn.  It could be, because I don't know what else it could be.  I'm still trying to find out about an alternative health centre so I can get a blood analysis done.  I just want to feel normal for more than a few consecutive days!  Too much to ask?  Maybe.

I just erased a big, honking entry.  Grrrr...

Well, let's re-iterate (although in not so quite a lengthy conversation):

Mother Nature has blessed me with my period and though i'm taking Advil, I can feel the pain trying to assassinate my body.  I hope I can last through it, because I truly don't want to miss anymore work.

New Year's Eve was great.  Went for supper with some friends and then back to our house and played Jenga for most of the rest of the night.  It was a really lovely, relaxing time.  I'm so glad we decided to not go to the bar, because I the next day I heard it was a jungle of people and I hate large crowds.  Good times.  Even the next day, Jan 1st, was a good day!  You guys, i'm on a roll!

Since then i've had my ups and downs, normal everyday life for me.  I started running again on the treadmill, though we are only starting out with three minutes of running to every half an hour of treadmill time.  Plus I am making a chart to track my water intake and a few other things I can't think of right now because my brain just doesn't want to work.  Anyways, the moral of the story is that i'm doing well in 2009 so far.  I count my blessings while I can...

I have to get back to work now - talk soon!