So, remember when I said that I had that 5k run at 6:30AM? Sharp? 6:30AM SHARP??? Can you guess what i'm going to say next?!!!

I didn't wake up in time.

Actually, the alarm did go off at the right time. We just kept hitting the 'snooze' button. hehe. so. When I finally did lift my head to see what time it was, it was already 6:15 and the run was shot. NO WAY was I going to try getting out there for 6:30, it just wasn't going to happen. I got out of bed, though, and went downstairs. Made myself a toasted multi-grain bagel with peanut butter and a mocha. Waited about a half hour, then suited up and went for a run. I am proud of myself. Even though I missed the town's run, I still went out on my own. Although, I still sucked and I still didn't make it a full 3 miles:

splits:

mile 1: 12:52

mile 2: 14:29

407ft: 1:16

Time: 28:37

I took three walk breaks, the first one only a 1/2 mile into the run. The second one five minutes after the first, and so on and so forth. My runs went from 5 1/2 minutes all the way down to 2 minutes, until I finally couldn't handle it anymore and walked the rest of the 2 miles. I tell 'ya, I was DONE. I think I may even have vomited a little in my mouth, that's how done I was. When I was running I could feel my face getting warmer and warmer, and then I couldn't breath very well and I was gasping for air and it sounded like I was having an asthma attack for goodness' sake. That's when I finally stopped and decided it was probably a good thing that I never went into that 5k run.

I would never have made it to the end.

I am going to complain. Again. So be warned...

I got home from work yesterday and no one was home, not even my little puppies who would listen to me if i'd had a hard day and wanted to talk about it. And i'd had a hard day yesterday, and I wanted to talk about it. Everyone was gone. I can't remember everything that was bothering me, but it had a lot to do with being miserable for most of the workday and LETTING every little thing bother me. So when I realized they were gone, I left a voice message with my boyfriend demanding to know where MY dogs were. That's right. My dogs. MINE. (yea right). And did he think that it might be nice of him to let me know next time when he decides to take off and take the dogs with him??? Seriously. I'd been home for two minutes. TWO minutes, and I was on the rampage.

I calmed down a bit after about a half hour, and let myself lay down on the couch and vegetate. When my boyfriend got home (with the dogs) I was already much better, although I still had to explain the nasty voice message i'd left him. He REALLY wanted to know what was wrong with me - and I added to the concern by telling him that I REALLY wanted to know what was wrong with me too. In the end, we went for dinner with his family (who are always able to cheer me up, no matter what) and then the two of us went for a long drive. Of course, as soon as we got home he was back on the phone, calling his buddies and making plans for the weekend. But hey. At least I had a couple of hours, right?

The moral? I'm a suck and I need attention. Just like I need people to read my journals, I also need my boyfriend to spend some time with me. Awe, nuts, it's just been a long summer, 'ya know??

OOOOO, I forgot to mention. There's a 3, 5 and 10k run this Saturday (6:30AM!!!) in my small small town. Unbelievable. And if I don't take advantage of this, God will probably strike me down (it actually IS probable with all the storms and thunder and lightning we've had lately). So. I will be running the 5k (let's not overdo it, huh?!) Saturday morning, 6:30AM sharp. However: I have not registered (you can only register on that day) and did I mention it's at 6:30AM???!

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I'm sucking back the water today as if I was actually really, really thirsty. Which i'm not. But I ate too many slices of pizza yesterday (my family really should learn what is healthy and what is not, we all could use a little help in the weight-loss department. ooo. Did that sound mean? I think i'm in a rotten mood. Just noticed that now. Ok. Tangent. Back to my story) and I feel really bloated and BIG. So i'm trying to drink lots of water so that... well, I don't know why, I can't even think straight today.

I got, like, ten hours of sleep last night (don't know why that affected my brain so negatively today, but it did) because I was going to get up and run this morning but once morning rolled around I changed my mind. As usual. And stayed in bed for an extra two hours. I amaze myself sometimes. No, all the time. I have so many levels of LAZY and I keep finding more and more levels everyday!

I don't want to be at work today. I want to go back to bed. I've had my coffee (which usually wakes me up) and it's past 10am (when I really 'wake up') and I still just want to go back to bed. I know why, too. All that cheese last night. hooooyeeee. yea. I know that crap screws with my head, but I can't keep myself from reaching for it when it's sitting right in front of me. Cheese pizza. Gosh, why don't I think about these things???!

So, I hate to be a journaller who is always so negative and sarcastic, but I guess that's just how it is. You know what? Seriously, everything is bothering me right now. I swear if someone so much as walked up to me and touched my shoulder, I would lose it on them. CHEESE, dudes. I need a cheese 'hate on' to happen here.

OMG.

Seriously? I'm an IDIOT...

OMG.

I freakin' missed my doctor's appointment. Just went right ahead and forgot all about it.

Id.

Iot.

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I was going to be all 'grumpy' again today (no offense, grumpy) and was forming my first grump-fest sentence as I was logging on, but then I read the comments I got from yesterday's post. And decided. Maybe. JUST maybe. I'm being a little over-dramatic. Just so everyone is aware, MOST of the time i'm only being sarcastic. I know it doesn't translate to online journals very well, so I just want you all to know - i'm not gonna hurt anybody, i'm not a vengeful person (most of the time) and I really DO like rainbows and mittons and fluffy white kittens. Those ARE a few of my favorite things. REALLY. So, come on back and read me! Read Me! READ ME!!!!!

I was down for a couple of days with my period. Him and I, we get along like a road runner and a brick wall. We layed in bed together for two straight days while I kept asking him "why?" and he kept replying "'cause I can". "why?" "'cause I can". Jeebers, I could just... oh, right, no more of that. So I made a doctor's appointment for today to a: get my test results, and b: get birth control. Enough of this malarky. I was in so much pain I think I cried for about four hours straight. Ok, so I cry easily. Not the point! Moral of the story - NO ONE should have to be in so much pain! Actually, I thought I was just being a baby until last night when I got my legs waxed. It didn't hurt. Not one bit (ok, maybe ONE bit). It was actually... a nice change.

So I didn't do any running yet. My big 500 mile goal is still looming in front of me, but i'll work at it slowly and chip away until it gets a little more exciting when i'm only, say... 200 miles away. Okay, so, lots to look forward to... oh, quit with the sarcasm legcramps, GEEZ.

Slo-pitch playoffs are on right now, we got rained out yesterday so we're trying again today (hopefully it doesn't rain, but the forecast shows rain) and probably will have to play tomorrow night as well. Last night our ball diamond was hit with lightening. It was pretty scary - it sort of forked out and hit the posts on the fence or something, along with a HUGE crashing sound. I nearly went deaf but since i'm almost already deaf it didn't really make much of a difference. At the same time lightening hit again on the other side of the diamond, even closer to us. Yup. Just call me the storm chaser. Actually, call me the 'gets chased by storms' girl. That's more like it. Those suckers just don't LIKE me for some reason.

i'm tired and sick and...

RrrOWwRrrrrrrrrr fghh fgh gh huh

somebody's gonna get a-hurt real bad.

Yaaaawwwwwwn. I'm tired. It's soooo humid here, seriously, i'm melting because, you know, i'm made of sugar and it's TOOOO humid!!!!

I. uh. hmn. geez. take deep breath. okay. here we go. WEIGHED MYSELF THIS MORNING.

you don't wanna know. i surely didn't wanna know. i'm not telling. forget it. never in a million years. i want to cry, but instead i'm laughing hysterically. 'cause, like, it's soooooo funnnnnniieee. NOT.

We had slo-pitch tonight and they stuck me on first base again. I played like crap though, so I pulled myself after a few innings and sat on the bench feeling sorry for myself. That didn't last long, though (WOW. really? really.) and I asked to be put out field so that I could run a bit. And I did. Run, that is. Good. Because, apparently, I need to lose a few (zillion) pounds. I should figure out exactly how many miles I would need to run to lose the weight that very mysteriously (or not) appeared to me this morning on the scale. I should do that. But not right now. RIGHT now i'm drowing in self-pity and MAN, do I KNOW how to do that. You GO, girl. yea. okay.

Okay, so i'm seriously going to figure that out. and i'll let you know how that goes. i'm gonna do it now. because, chances are, it'll make me want to run tomorrow. and. i need that, 'cause *insert seventh sentence in above paragraph here*. so yea.

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k. so. i checked it out.

I need to run 500 miles to lose the extra weight. Holy crap. there's no way. NO WAY, dude! that would take me ten years! schlakalak, maybe even fifteen years! crazy-ness! HA! hysterical laughing happening again. ooooohh i'm going crazy. loooooozing my mind. fphluffug.

big sigh. k. first four miles tomorrow then. here we go.

Okay, so the not running thing was really starting to get to me, so I decided that all that was going to change tonight. I mapped out a route (not really) and included a stop halfway through at a convenience store for gatorade. Then a friend called wanting help with some computer problems he was having, so I detoured and stopped there as well. Two stops along the way - that should have been plenty, but remember - I hadn't run in a long time and my body sure wasn't pleased with any of my hair-brained schemes.

So off I went, walking at the start and not timing myself until I thought - heck, why not? Let's put the Garmin forerunner to work and time it all (yes, i'm a nerd and bought a Garmin forerunner watch to time my runs - or lack thereof). I'm pretty sure I heard it laughing at me at different points in my "run". These are my splits:

Mile 1: 14:57

Mile 2: 14:08

last .5: 8:02

Yep. Pretty bad. I'm not at all pleased with these results, but i'm hoping to shame myself into doing better next time by letting you all in on exactly how slowly I "run". Y'all could probably walk that fast. Heck, I could probably walk faster than I run.

Oh well, hey??? I RAN, didn't I??? Didn't I at least TRY??? Yea, so maybe I ended up CRAWLING part of the way, but I did it, right?? Sure, I lost about 15 pounds of sweat, SO WHAT? That's a GOOD thing, okay? Isn't it?

Ignore me. I'm in a sarcastic, negative mood and I like to bash myself sometimes. I'll get over it. Really. Eventually.

So my boyfriend's buddy from the states is in town for a couple of weeks, visiting friends and family and having a much-needed holiday. He was over last night for a bit before the two boys went out to play pool. Wow, drama just follows this guy wherever he goes. It's amazing what he's been through in just the past few days. Incredible. I would hate his life, i'm serious. Car accidents, stopped by cops, harassed by bar-dwellers and their managers, the list goes on!!

It rained hard last night and I think we're in for another storm today. When I look outside it looks like it should be around 3pm, and it's actually 9am. It's very humid and dark out there.

I'm drinking water like crazy today. I've already had at least a litre of water. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was thirsty as soon as I woke up this morning and i've been downing the stuff ever since. I'm also starting to not feel well. I think maybe I need coffee. See people??? This is what happens when you become addicted to something!

I had a salt binge last night, maybe that has something to do with needing all the water today. I'm very disappointed because otherwise the day was great and I even made dinner and it was healthy and everything!! Well, the only thing to do is get over it and move on.

I haven't run for such a long time now that i've forgotten how.

So i'm still feeling the effects of the pulled muscle/pinched nerve/whatever the heck happened to my back on Wednesday night, although it is much better now and I don't need any aides (a.k.a. muscle relaxants) to get me through the day. Just wait, now that I said that *out loud*, it'll probably get worse today. I was taking Robaxacet, simply because I was NOT planning on going to the doctor (just so he can tell me that I need a chiropractor?????) and I had no clue what a good over-the-counter drug would be for my particular ailment. It seemed to work and dull the pain.

I am burnt from sitting around watching fastball yesterday. Oh, so painfully burnt. This time it was from the sun and not the wind. I really should invest in an umbrella to ward off some of those harsh rays. My whole right side is burnt from head to wrist. Wearing black pants certainly didn't help reflect the sun, duh legcramps!!

My boyfriend's team won 2nd at provincials yesterday. Last night they lost out in the finals, putting them in 2nd place. This secures the team a spot at Westerns, however they will have to pay their own way. If they would have won provincials their expenses to Westerns would have been paid. Oh well! So they are thinking about still going to Westerns. That is the second week of August. NAFA is the third week in August. NAFA is in Mentanka, Minnesota this year. I don't know if I spelled that correctly, but it's a good 7 or 8 hour drive for us. My boyfriend is taking off a lot of work time to go to all these tournaments. Not that i'm against it - I always try to support whatever he's doing. It's just a hard time for us right now. I'm the one paying the bills, cleaning house, doing yardwork, taking care of the dogs while he goes to fastball games. Maybe i'm jealous (yes, that's probably it) but it would be nice to have a little more help than that, especially since he promised me that we would be working on the house renovations by now. Ah, men and their empty promises... heehee.

I like watching fastball though, so i'm not going to complain any further. It gives me an excuse to not exercise, wouldn't you like it too?!!!

Oh, what a silly week it's been.

After slo-pitch on Wednesday night (we didn't have enough people show up and had to forfeit the game - this is incredibly discouraging and pisses me off, big ball fanatic that I am), we got home and I immediately sat down on the couch. It was a warm, humid evening and it took every ounce of energy I had to move. I noticed when I leaned over the couch that something felt out of place in my lower back. Alas, I seem to never fret over these things, so I just plopped myself down and stayed there for a good 10 minutes or so. When I tried to get up, I couldn't. I managed to drag myself into a semi-standing position and realized that somehow, in some way, I had put my back out. How OLD do you think that made me feel?!!! Geez, it really was very painful and even though this had happened to me before while we were in Scotland, I didn't ever think it would happen again, especially while I was doing absolutely NOTHING!

My sleep that night was good, even though I was in pain. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I felt fine. Until I tried to get out of bed. Here's a first for me: driving myself to the drug store for anything other than ibuprofen (because of TOM). When I do something like this, it scares even myself because I hardly ever will show concern for my own welfare. But I had so much to do that day, and there was no way I was going to get it all done without the help of a muscle relaxant, so I had to give in. Two muscle relaxants later and I was at least able to drive my way around town and complete my errands, 'tho still in a certain amount of pain. At the end of the day, I pulled another first: I made myself an appointment with a chiropractor. Now this is definitely something I just wouldn't do for myself. This time, I even came up with the idea all on my own!! I made the appointment for Friday morning and suffered through the rest of the night.

This morning I woke up and again felt fine until getting out of bed. Although the pain is far less than it was yesterday, it is still there and i'm pissed off!! I think i've been pissed off all week so far!! Anyhow, I went to the chiropractor's and a few crunch cracks later I thought I was healed. Not to be. Of course, the half hour drive home probably didn't help. So it's a little better, let's not fib. However, there's no way in you-know-where I would ever be able to throw a ball, hit a ball, or run around. That is simply not acceptable and i'm having a very tough time dealing with this. Not that throwing, hitting and running is forecasted in my near future anyways, but you know what I mean. Don't you???