- Tuesday Dec 30, 2008
Howdy! Happy Holidays!
I am still sick, but much better so I count my tiny blessings and am grateful for whatever brief reprieve I can get. Today I am sneezy and experiencing some head congestion, and am still coughing up lungs left and right. I am praying that I do not get sick again for New Year's, as I would love to start the new year off in a healthy, happy way! I remember that I was also this sick last year for New Year's Eve, and look where THAT got me!!
On the 22nd I went home from work at lunchtime, never to return for the rest of the week. I struggled through my boyfriend's family's christmas gathering that night, then rested until Wednesday night. On Wednesday night I found my voice again. Oh, wondrous voice, how I missed thee...
So, during Christmas, gifts were opened, food was eaten (perhaps slightly too much), family and friends were visited. It is all very blurry and grey for me. I don't remember any one thing, but I can remember in general how each day went - I was sick, people felt sorry for me, I was spoiled and attended to unnecessarily, I exhausted myself each time I spoke a sentance, I went home nearly falling over from sleep deprivation, I tossed and turned all night, and I spent a good chunk of my time reading and keeping to myself. BAH-HUMBUG!
Anyways, there isn't much more to tell about my holiday experience, really it was very dull and boring. We plan to go out with friends on New Year's Eve, so that may be a little more exciting to hear about.
I am making plans to get a blood analysis done in the new year. I will do almost anything to have this done. It's all I can think to do, since i've been sick so much. Even better, my period is coming due in about three more days and i'll probably be sick again. Joy.
On a happier note (am I going on random tangents in this entry? it sort of feels that way), I was given an art case for christmas that holds unimaginable opportunities - acrylic paint, pastels, pencils, blending instruments, brushes, etc. The opportunities are endless. Well, right now they're limited, actually, because the only thing I can paint are pictures of scenery. I love to sketch though, I love pencil crayons! I'm such a kindergartner!
- Monday Dec 22, 2008
Oh my Lord. It's amazing that I am still in such a good mood (and I say 'good mood' lightly because maybe others might think "really not such a good mood"). I am sick again. This time, I have a cold. Or Influenza, laryngitis, or bronchitis. One of those things. I'd been sneezing at work for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden developed a sore throat on Thursday morning. I became quite sick very quickly and went home from work, spending most of my day on the couch, groaning every time a sinus pain coursed behind my eyes. Claritin didn't work. Advil didn't work. Robitussin didn't work, and neither did NyQuil. The only thing that seemed to ease a bit was my sore throat - and that, of course was a sign that things were about to get much, much worse.
Friday I phoned in sick again because I could hardly breathe. It was so incredibly dry in the house that I pressured my boyfriend into buying a $200 humidifier. Five gallons of water and eight hours later, I was feeling slightly better and could lift my head off my pillow to talk.
Saturday, sick. I tried wrapping christmas presents because I knew I would accomplish nothing else. It took me over two hours, and it was a horrible nightmare. I really don't know how I got it done, but i'm really glad I don't have to open any of the gifts I wrapped - they might need scissors to get them open. I'm sure I was vocally moaning in pain the whole time. Good thing no one was around to hear me.
Sunday I was hoarse. My cold had travelled from my sinus to my chest, and I could barely speak a word. But at least the headache was gone! I managed to get up and move around, took a shower, did some baking, prepared for work the next day. This was the first night I attempted to sleep upstairs (heat rises, and the water index does not) and it was not a success. I woke up every hour, tossing and turning and praying to God I wouldn't have to wake up in this pain in the morning. Around 3:30 a.m., I grabbed my pillow and went back downstairs to the couch. Unfortunately, by this time the damage was done.
This morning I fooled myself, thought I felt okay, and got ready for work. I should've tested my voice but didn't. It was worse than Sunday, though I had no headache and only a stuffy nose to go with my hoarse throat. It got worse during the morning and eventually I had to admit defeat. I could barely talk, having to push my esophagus to its maximum level just to get out a couple of syllables. It felt like I was yelling all the time, except nothing was coming out!
When I finally decided to come home, I sat on the couch in front of the t.v. and could literally feel my sinuses start to congest all over again. That stupid headache is back and my head feels as if it weighs 50 pounds.
I tried to make an appointment with a doctor, but they're all booked up. So, either I live with it and call in sick again tomorrow (and most probably be sick during the holidays), or I head to the hospital's Emergency area and see a doctor there tonight.
I've been sick so much this year, my immune system is probably so weak by now that it's just letting in every single bug, virus, or bacteria it sees. "Yeah! Come on in! There's a party going on in here!"
- Tuesday Dec 16, 2008
I am not very pleased with my weight, nor am I with the measurements that i've been taking for the past four months. I've increased almost three inches in my hips since September. That's crazy! How??? Ok, forgettaboutit, let's just move on.
Life is still good, i've managed to continue my good mood even throughout pms and all that jazz. And that says a lot for me, 'cause i've had so many ups and downs in my moods lately that I don't even know which way is up anymore! So, there are a couple of things i'm doing and planning, to update you:
- I'm curling on Tuesday nights (about two hours)
- I go to the gym Sunday, Monday and Thursday night to walk on the treadmill - right now, only doing 30 minutes but I do plan to bump this up slightly in the new year or incorporate running into the 30 minutes.
- In February, I am registered for a yoga class on Wednesday nights (one hour)
That's about all I can handle right now, I think. I like having Friday and Saturday off, although it's seeming like there's always something to do, especially around the holiday time.
My cousin came to visit this past weekend and we went to the gym together. We both went on the treadmill to walk and then ended up running during the last ten minutes of our 30 minute walk. I sweated and it felt good! My knee hurts, but i'm hoping that will go away once it starts to get easier. Not that i'm planning on running again for a while. My body weight wouldn't support me in that decision, I don't think!
- Friday Nov 21, 2008
Had a good day yesterday, but I did eat a half cup of ice cream. I was going to put crumbled oreo cookies into it, but instead ate one cookie and put the rest away. Yowsa, it's a week of firsts!
I've been cooking every evening since we bought our new stove. I bet I haven't cooked a meal for us in months, it's crazy. I do realize now how therapeutic it is though, as well as baking. I lose myself in the concentration it takes to put things together and it's very gratifying work (at least, when it works out and there's someone around to tell you how good it is!). I have been in a better mood for about a week now, and I do believe it has a lot to do with getting this oven as well as being able to eat with my boyfriend instead of at different times of the night. Long time coming, I tell 'ya.
So Thursday my exercise was the 30 minute walk in the morning. I watched Survivor Gabon in the evening after dinner and went to bed early. I did not want to wake up this morning so slept in and had to scramble to get to work in time. I even gave myself heartburn trying to shovel (oh yes, literally shovel) cereal into my mouth, working against time!
I notice at work today that I am drinking too much coffee and not enough water. I'll try to balance that out this afternoon. I brought watermelon to snack on - it is very ripe and looks so wonderful that my mouth waters just thinking about eating it...
- Thursday Nov 20, 2008
I feel better today, I think perhaps my hormones are a little out of whack since I seem to be soooo verrrrryyy emotional these days. Months. At least for the last couple of years...
Anyhow, so far the week is progressing well. I had no exercise on Monday, but that's because we bought a new stove so I HAD to try out all the features and then my boyfriend's sister came for a visit. We watch Avatar every Monday night - she loves it and it's good quality family time. We get along really great even though she is 7 or 8 years younger than me. That should tell you a lot about my maturity level... lol
Tuesday morning I went for a 30 minute walk with a friend, then curled that night for 2 and 1/2 hours. I was still sore from the week before, and i'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my inner thigh, so i'll be suffering through that for a couple more weeks probably. We lost the game 12 to 5 I hate to lose.
Wednesday after work I spent about 20 minutes shovelling the driveway since we finally received the first snowfall that will undoubtedly end up sticking around until spring. My boyfriend was very surprised to see me out there shovelling, but did not mention how great it was to see me out there since i'd really been doing sweet nothings for the last few months.
This morning was another 30 minute walk with a friend. Omph my legs hurt and my knee is bruised, but I know it's worth it... i'm debating whether or not to consult a doctor in regards to my stomach and back issues since they've been cropping up again in the last few months. I really think it's stress but am unsure as to what I can do about it. Unfortunately, it is a HUGE factor in determining both work and play schedules, and that's starting to get on my nerves!
Also debating applying for a different position in town. I don't know if I should - i'm far too cautious and stressed to deal with this right now! Sometimes I wish I could take more risks. Imagine what we could do if we were guaranteed a happy ending!!
- Friday Nov 14, 2008
Well, i'm really frustrated. Really. Discouraged and frustrated, and ready to pop! No, literally, my belly is so distended and bloated, if I stuck it with a pin i'd pop.
I need some things to change, namely the amount of stress my job and my boyfriend bring me. Yup, some attitudes need to change or i'm out. Done. Hoo-ha. Phooey.
I have felt crappy since my last journal entry, off and on ever since. I just can't seem to get it right, not the same way I could before. I don't know what has changed, but I just don't have the motivation. Or the incentive, courage, brains, power, strength, mobility, blah blah blah, that I had before. It's so discouraging!
I've gained more weight, but refuse to post it for fear that it will stare me in the face and will motivate me to no longer log on and journal. Since I don't want that to happen, we shall never know how much I weigh. Until I can once again say something like 150 pounds. Yup, trust me, not even close.
- Friday Oct 24, 2008
Breakfast - 1 whole grain bagel with light strawberry cream cheese spread
Morning - 2 cups coffee, 1 Pritouline twist (some kind of baked, crispy, sweet stick, like a cinammin stick)
Lunch - 1 & 1/2 cups rice with chicken breast
Afternoon - 1 Pritouline twist
Dinner - I had some soda crackers so far... possibly 1 serving salmon and 1 & 1/2 cups steamed veggies. The crackers were a must, i'm afraid... I was so hungry after work I was making myself sick.
Wow. Friday, thank goodness, although I have to say it was a short week. And it was a way better week than what i've had in the past few months. I got to talking with an old co-worker which was incredibly wonderful as we were good friends when we worked together. I don't have much to complain about today, other than I might be getting a cold!
Have a great weekend everyone - I get to go shopping on Monday! I decided to veto the car repairs. We have three vehicles between my boyfriend and I; I would think that I could find something else to drive next week while I wait for my paycheck to fix my car.
- Thursday Oct 23, 2008
Breakfast - 1 whole grain bagel with light strawberry cream cheese
Morning - 591 ml bottle Ginger Ale, apple crumble granola bar
Lunch - 1 & 1/2 cups rice
Afternoon - 5 strawberries, 1/2 cup grapes
Dinner - 1 serving salmon with 1 & 1/2 cups rice, 10 carrots with veggie dip
Tonight Survivor is on TV. My survivor pick got booted off at the beginning of the series, but i'm into the show now so i'm continuing to watch it. It's about the only TV I actually watch, unless you count sitting in front of the TV doing other things while it's on. Then I watch a helluva lotta TV. Anyways, i'm at work right now but heading home soon and very happy about that. My tooth hurts (or the spot where my tooth once was) and it's giving me a headache.
I work at a healthcare centre with a Catholic hospital and a Lutheran senior's home. This afternoon I attended an interdenominational service held at the Chapel. There was discussion on the Samaritan story and being a healing presence. Don't worry, i'm not going to provide a deep lecture into faith and religion. I'm just saying that it was nice to hear. I probably needed to hear it. I also agree that sometimes you need to go to a motivational speaker's presentation. Either way, sometimes you just need to be reminded that you're doing okay, and it's okay to have a hard day or two from time to time.
- Wednesday Oct 22, 2008
Breakfast - whole grain bagel with light strawberry cream cheese spread
Morning - coffee
Lunch - 1/2 cup grapes and 5 strawberries, 1/2 cup carrots with 1 tblspn veggie dip, 6 soda crackers
Afternoon - nada
Dinner - ate a late dinner consisting of cream of broccoli soup and jello pudding. I also snuck a piece of marble cake from my boyfriend's stash. He shouldn't leave these things in the house...
I had to get a tooth pulled yesterday afternoon, hence the not eating for eight hours. It was a wisdom tooth and it was a bugger to get rid of. I hurt, but then maybe i'm just complaining for the pure joy of complaining and the pain is just all in my mind. So I was starving last night, shaking uncontrollably, waiting for 9:00 p.m. to warm up some soup and scarf it down. The soup looked like snot, no kidding, but I ate it most willingly and was quite grateful because there was SOFT food in the house that I could eat. Otherwise I would have had to try to sleep on an empty stomach. I'm just not into that. This morning it took me four hours to eat breakfast, eating my bagel little piece by little piece.
My car won't start this morning and I had to bring my boyfriend's car to work. It sounds like I will have to get it towed and fixed. Wow, that's going to cost me some money. I was hoping to go shopping in the city on Monday, but I don't know how i'm going to make that happen now. I really needed some clothes. You know. Ones that fit.
Breakfast - whole grain bagel with light strawberry cream cheese spread
Morning - as above
Lunch - 1 piece marble cake, eaten on the sly
Afternoon - 1 apple crumble granola bar, 1/2 cup grapes, 5 strawberries
Dinner - 1 serving salmon and 1 & 1/2 cups steamed veggies
- Monday Oct 20, 2008
Not even my 'big' pants fit me properly now...
Breakfast: 1 whole grain bagel with 2 tblspns peanut butter spread
Morning: 1 cup coffee with sugar and cream, 1 apple crumble granola bar
Lunch: 1 & 1/2 cups oriental-style rice
Afternoon: 4 strawberries, 1/2 cup grapes, 2 Halls throat drops
Plan for Dinner: 1 serving salmon, 1 & 1/2 cups steamed veggies
Snack: 1 serving chips (I know i'll eat them because they're in the house - that's the only motivation I need)
I am taking meds because i'm having some trouble with my wisdom teeth, so it's been quite the week. I have a dentist's appt tomorrow though, so hopefully he will be able to minimize the pain a bit more, or not make it any worse anyways. Walking in the morning tomorrow and I STILL need to phone about getting a gym key. God i'm slow.