- Thursday Jan 14, 2010
Yesterday I went to see my gynecologist about the problems I'm having with my menstrual cycle. I thought I was going for a simple, external ultrasound. Oh, how wrong I was. All in all, it was a horrible day, ending with the doctor asking to do yet another exam and me immediately yelling out "NO WAY!". When I finally got home, I collapsed on the couch and slept for four hours straight because the whole thing just... exhausted me to my breaking point. I did go to the gym, but only walked for 30 minutes and didn't even run one little bit. But, I DID go to the gym.
Tuesday had 1,300 calories, Wednesday 1,600 calories. I went to the gym on Tuesday too - ran 14 minutes out of 35 total. Really good day.
I was stuck below 1,000 calories yesterday after eating supper. Was so full, and so blah, that I didn't WANT to eat anything, just wanted to go to bed. But I had some cashews, then tried to take a warm bath. I had just gotten into the tub and decided I needed the water to be just a little warmer. In the process of adding some and letting some out, the plug stopped working. Once I had it fixed, almost all the water was out of the tub and I was a-shivering away. When I tried once again to fill the tub, my hot water had run out. Eventually, I got myself out of the tub and back onto the couch, where emotional eating set in and I had me some chips. Finally the hot water came back and I had a nice bath and went to bed with the heating pad secured to my midsection.
The feeling has spilled over into today, which is really unfortunate because I am hosting a dinner party tonight. Trials and tribulations, huh?
- Tuesday Jan 12, 2010
I am so tired right now. I was in bed by 11pm, but couldn't fall asleep for what felt like hours and hours. The alarm shrilly buzzing in my face this morning at 6:30 was just about enough to put me over the edge emotionally. I almost called into work, but thought to myself "for lack of sleep?" and decided against it. That would have aged me. Anyways, gulping down the coffee but it hasn't slapped me in the face yet. I'm so tired, the computer screen keeps blurring out of focus on me. This entry will probably take me an hour to write.
So my gym partner is pretty sick these days. She decided against going to the gym last night and instead wanted to go today. So I told her that I would go with her. The extra time at home didn't really help me out too much - I saved some pictures onto discs and layed on the couch mostly. But I did have an evening meeting, and it helped to not be so rushed (which is usually what I am most of the time - self-inflicted, of course).
I am thinking of getting the Dell Vostro 320 all-in-one desktop computer. My monitor at home died and the computer I have now is slow and old. Does anyone know if this is a good choice? I just want something to play games on and burn the odd disc of pictures and home videos.
Yesterday was 1,400 calories. That's very good. That's two consecutive days of very good. I am very good. I should say that to myself more often!
- Monday Jan 11, 2010
My weekend went fairly well, in all ways imaginable.
After my horrible evening on Thursday, I forced myself to calm down and take it easy on the weekend. Normally, I would be a cleaning freak or over-eat or double book with friends to make the time go by faster. This time, I forced myself to think about how I acted, how everyone around me acted, and to really analyse and figure out what the real issues were. I was upset with my friend's hubby on Thursday at badminton. The fact that X was there would have been ok with me if only friend's hubby would have acknowledged that HE was there as MY friend, not X's. I believe that is what pushed me to react to X's being there the way I did. I am a little ashamed of my actions and of my friend's actions, but can only move on from here. At least I stopped myself from making a complete fool of myself by losing it on X in front of people who probably have no idea that he played me for five years. I am proud of that at least, even if some people there may have thought I acted high schoolish.
Friday was poor with calories - meaning, I needed more than I got. It was kind of a wierd day, the morning and early afternoon were nice and slow, then in the later afternoon I realized I had to do SOME things and so my day sped up a bit and I lost track of mealtimes. I still managed just under 1,000 calories, but I know it should have been more.
Saturday was 2,200 calories. I ended up going for supper with a friend of mine, boxing half of it up, then eating it a few hours after I got home. The good part is that I drank two bottles of water before deciding that, yes, I was still hungry!
Sunday was 1,500 calories. It was a great day, filled with laundry chores, some computer work, and watching old movies on tv like 'Sweet November'.
Back at work today, taking down Christmas decorations and trying to get the pile of paperwork down a bit since I was off on Friday. Planning to hit the gym a little earlier because I have an evening meeting tonight.
- Friday Jan 08, 2010
Don't you just love it when things are going really great for you and then all of a sudden, something happens to totally bash into oblivion all your efforts? Just an F.Y.I. - I will be complaining again today... i'd rather you called it venting, but i'll understand why you might think the proper phrase for it is 'being a baby'.
I did ok yesterday. Actually, I should have eaten more, but I didn't realize I could until I added up the calories today. Just over 1,000.
I frequented the gym, but decided instead of going hog-wild on the treadmill that I would take it easy since I was going to play badminton for an hour and a half afterwards with my friend's hubby. I went a total of 35 minutes, with 6 minutes of running. Took it easy, but still felt like I did something so that was nice.
I made sure to leave the gym early enough to make it to badminton on time. When I got there, friend's hubby was already there. For whatever reason, he didn't acknowledge that I showed up, instead walking with his racket and a birdie over to an empty court. In the meantime, I signed myself in and was about to tie up my laces when I noticed the biggest a$$ in the world walk into the gym. Yes, that's right. X showed up. He stood not four feet from me. I wanted to take both my hands, wrap them around his neck...well, you get the idea. The gall of that incredulous boy!
My breath sort of 'wooshed' out of me as I saw him, and I think I said something like 'really'. He heard that (because he stood not four feet from me, the arrogant bastard!), and said 'hi'. I laughed at him. Well, I sort of huffed, hicupping every so often. He looked at me and I swear to the heavens, I believe he truly thinks he's done nothing wrong. I think he really believes we could be friends. He's psychotic!
Friend's hubby noticed X was there and, with a bright smile lighting his face, ran up to him and said 'you're my partner, ok?'. WTF? WTF is UP with THAT? He then looked over at me and said 'hi legcramps'. I barely looked at him, sort of half-nodding, half-choking as I waggled over to an empty court with some guy I didn't even want to play with because I thought i'd be playing with friend's hubby.
I stayed half an hour. Out of an hour and a half. I ruined my workout for this. It ruined my night. Friend's hubby made me feel betrayed, even though later that night he tried to make up for it. I feel like I can't talk to any of my friends because they're all still friends with X and GOSH, I would NEVER want to put THEM in the middle of anything!
Went home. Ate a granola bar. Drank some water. Stayed up late crying. That's my life.
I have today off, am hoping to go to the gym to let off more of this steam, but will see what else I have to get done. Just hanging back with a coffee for now.
- Thursday Jan 07, 2010
I wonder if you're wondering what kind of entry i'm going to make today, especially with a beginning like... welp. howdy. Don't worry, i'm fine.
1,600 calories yesterday - SWEET! RECORD! MUST BE! I even had to push down a granola bar after the gym. That never happens. Ne..v..er.
So I got home from work yesterday and miraculously I wasn't overly tired. So, I washed the dishes, cooked some rice for supper, ate... ok, that's when it started to fall apart. I could barely keep my eyes open. I stumbled over to the couch... kidding, I was already on the couch... and closed my eyes for a bit. We all know by now that napping is not good for me. Holy cow. Gosh, can I get grumpy - I never really noticed until now that I have to live with myself and not take it out on someone else.
Raging mad, I left for the gym. This is a great mood to be in when you want to get a good workout in. Really, it is! It was wickedly cold in the gym last night, took me nearly 10 minutes just to warm up but once I did I gaver pretty good. Total time on the treadmill was 41 minutes, 10 of that running, a few of THAT sprinting. I almost threw up. I was trying to find a comfortable pace and i'm starting to think that pace is going to be a faster one. It felt pretty good - and besides, i'd always been a sprinter, so of course I would be more comfortable sprinting than shuffling along at a slower pace.
Rage now dissipated, I headed home, took a bath and stayed up playing on the computer until 10:30. This morning my head feels so clear it's almost unbelievable.
I have to go to prayers on Friday evening, so decided to gym tonight instead of trying to fit it in on Friday. I also have badminton tonight. Here's to getting it all done!
- Wednesday Jan 06, 2010
Yesterday was a good day, as compared to Disastrous Monday - but you've already heard all about that. The only thing I seem to have erroneously left out from Monday was the amount of time I spent at the gym. I was there 45 minutes, 36 on the treadmill and the other 9 minutes stretching, water-breaking and pulling my boots on and off.
Yesterday I didn't work out. Do you know that my right shoulder STILL hurts from playing Wii Tennis?! I can't believe it. Do you know how difficult it is for me to finish all my bathroom 'duties' with a bum right arm?! Bum right arm, well, no pun intended. Really!
I drank like 6 litres of water yesterday. I think it brought out all the muscle aches in my body because this morning, oh boy. My body hurts. The shoulder, my hips, the tops of my thighs, my lower calves, even down to my big toe. Hurts. AND, to top it all off (though i'm NOT complaining, i'm actually in a pretty good mood) my doggie plopped herself on top of me all night long so that I couldn't move and twist around like I normally do. So I woke up this morning with my rib cage aching horribly! You'd think I should just hole up in a dark corner and stay there, huh.
Even so, I AM in a good mood. And it's gonna stay that way. Either that, or i'll make myself angry again before I go to the gym tonight so that i'll run just as well as I did on Monday. Whateva'. :+)
Oh, 1,800 calories yesterday. Whew. Glad I remembered that.
- Tuesday Jan 05, 2010
Oh boy. Here comes the Great Confession:
I was doing really well until I got home from work. I had started to become slightly grumpy, but other than that I was fine. I decided to cut up some cheese with crackers and have that before going to the gym.
(This means i'll have eaten cheese for three consecutive days in a row. Did I mention i'm pretty sure i'm lactose intolerant? No wonder i'm such a grump lately.)
I had a lot of cheese. I was literally worried I wouldn't be able to run on the treadmill because i'd eaten TOO MUCH cheese. So I get to the gym. My friend isn't there yet, forgot her shoes, blah blah blah, so I start walking on the treadmill. At around ten minutes, my friend finally shows up. We talk. I ask about her day and she proceeds to give me a 30-minute run down. Then forgets to ask how i'm doing. But, I might only be pissed off about this because i'm already feeling like crap, and I just want someone to know that. I'd like someone to ask. I'd like to vent. I run. It feels pretty good. I run some more. I run for about 7 minutes altogether. It's a good start, and i'm sufficiently sweating enough to call it a night.
I slow the treadmill down and say i'm going home, that i'll do my push-ups and curl-ups when I get home. Of course, I forget. When I get home, I run a bath and spend the next half hour soaking and reading, reading and soaking.
I'm sitting on the couch afterwards, watching t.v., playing on the computer, and feeling hungry. I fill up a water bottle and start slugging it down, but it's not fighting my hunger. I eat again. Chocolate cream pie. Then another slice. Then a chimichanga. Those things are like 500 calories each!
I'm surprised I wasn't too uncomfortable to sleep last night. That would have certainly been the kicker - to eat that much food so late at night, then not be able to sleep. Total cals - 3,300. At least I finally got some actual exercise in.
- Monday Jan 04, 2010
Whew. It's been quite the new year so far! Good, but busy!
I sort of triple-booked myself on new year's eve. I went to grandma's for supper, then to a friend's birthday party, then had company over at my place to bring in the new year. The next day, Jan 1st, was really quiet which was nice. I don't think I did anything. Let's be honest - I don't think I could have done anything even if I wanted to! Jan 2nd, I drove into the city to see my Dad and his wife for Christmas. Jan 3rd I spent with a couple of friends, watching a movie and playing Wii.
I have yet another borrowed book to read; City of Glass. Can't wait to rip into it!
Tonight I have a gym date! I'm hoping to start by running about 5 minutes on the treadmill, with a 20-25 minute walk. Also gonna start with 10 pushups and 20 curlups, and do some stretching.
Other than that, laundry is on my schedule, and cleaning up the kitchen.
- Thursday Dec 31, 2009
Well, I for one am glad that today is New Year's Eve. For me, it means throwing the old year out the door and slamming the door in its face. I'm a little angry today.
My friend came to visit last night and she said some things that I think were very childish and immature. Of course, SHE doesn't think so! She was talking about my X and I simply asked her not to, that I didn't want to hear about him anymore. She got huffy with me and from there it was like talking to a 13 year old girl. Gawd. If having friends means dealing with crap like this all the time, I don't know that I want it. Her and her hubby are still friends with my X, so I understand how difficult it is for her to be 'stuck in the middle', but she needs to understand that i'm trying to move on and she's not helping any by constantly bringing him up - it hurts me! Don't you think I deserve at least that much respect? He's the one that made the mistakes, and yet he is allowed to continue a friendship with my BEST FRIEND's husband. Can't you at least do me one favor and leave him out of our conversations?!
Anyways, vent over.
I drank lots of water yesterday and I think i'm close to where I was at weight-wise just before Christmas. It may take another week or so, but i'll get there. I shovelled last night for about 20 minutes, too. Exercise!! Finally! I also cooked dinner, washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cut up some food for tonight's party, and did a load of laundry. Superwoman! Well, that's a super feat for me, anyways :) LOL.
Sunday - 2,000; Monday - 2,400; Tuesday - 2,400; Wednesday - 1,800. Working it's way down! If I could stay under 1,800 each day, i'd be a happy camper.
Getting a gym key Jan 2nd! Watch out gym, here we go again!
- Wednesday Dec 30, 2009
Yesterday wasn't the best day. When I got home from work, all I wanted to do was sleep. I even left work early because I was accomplishing nothing and feeling miserable. I'm not sure why I felt so horrible. I had no energy, no drive, nothing. I just wanted to sleep. So, I took a nap and it ended up being a four hour long nap. When I woke up, I was super grouchy - thank goodness I live alone since I would have reamed someone out for sure, for absolutely no reason other than I was in one of my moods. I received numerous phone calls during my sleep, answering none of them. I ate chips and drank water all evening. I think i'm going through a phase again. I hate them.
So, 2,400 calories yesterday. And no one phoned for wallyball so no exercise besides chipping away the ice at my back door so that I don't have to try to squeeze my body through the thin opening. Am I complaining? AGAIN?!
Even with all that sleep, i'm still tired today. And I will have to triple-book myself for New Year's Eve. I have to attend a dinner at my grandma's, then go to a friend's place to celebrate her 40th birthday, then i'm having people over to my place to bring in the new year. I dread waking up Jan 1st, really I do.
Sugerandspiceandeverythingnice. Sugarandspiceandeverythingnice. Just get through it.