- Wednesday Jan 09, 2008
I called a friend to see if she wanted to go to the gym with me today and it turns out she was having a very aweful day and didn't feel like doing much at all. I was almost out the door to take the dogs for a walk and I decided to ask her to come along. The company would be great and besides, having an extra set of hands with two dogs makes it a lot easier as well. She didn't seem to want to at first, but after a while got into the spirit. We walked for an hour, but it means i'll miss the gym workout tonight because we talked for a while afterwards. It's okay. At least I did something.
*UPDATE* - I stopped in at the grocery store on my way home at lunchtime today and picked up a roast chicken sandwich on 60%ww bread...mmmn..bread...but it took me 20 minutes to do that which left a grand total of 10 minutes to let the dogs out and keep an eye on them and eat my sandwich standing up!! With my shoes and scarf still on and the car still running! But I guess it was worth it. I don't know. The jury is still out on that decision.
I used my last $5 to buy that sandwich today, lol. I have one more day and night to go before I will be able to buy myself proper groceries because I get paid on Friday! I guess i'm making some rice today for dinner and I think i've got a chicken breast in the fridge to go with it. I sound pathetic, don't I?!!
I have also decided that I will attend the kickboxing class on Thursday night because I can give the instructor a cheque and he won't be able to cash it until I have money in my account anyways. See, I think about things sometimes...
So, you've already heard that my day was pretty bad yesterday, so i'm not going to reiterate here. This entry will be all about today and about fresh starts and new beginnings and goals and wants and needs and prides and prejudices. Okay, maybe not that last part.
I woke up a little earlier than usual today (an extra ten minutes earlier) and was able to stop on my way to work and buy myself a mocha from Robin's Donuts. I knew I was going to need it because I had a late night last night (but we won't get into that) and I was dragging my butt this morning. As soon as I woke up, I grabbed a fruit cup out of the cupboard, a spoon from the cutlery drawer, and went to work on a plethora of peaches, pineapples, cherries and other varieties of fruit. You would think I wouldn't be hungry after the major binge....oh, right, new day. Anyhow, filled a bottle of water, grabbed another fruit cup for morning snack at work, and headed off.
I don't have any prepared food in the house for lunch today. I can't even make myself a tuna sandwich because I don't have any bread. No milk, no juice - the only thing I can think of actually eating is dry Kashi cereal. It doesn't sound too appetizing, does it?! Maybe i'll stop off for a sandwich somewhere, but I don't have a lot of time for lunch - just a half hour. I would stay and eat here at work, but I have to let the dogs out for a bathroom break at lunchtime. Life's pretty rough, huh?!
Today I WILL walk the dogs right after work; I WILL go to the gym tonight; and I WILL drink 3 litres of water. If I could sign underneath this statement, I would. Just to motivate me that much more to actually do it.
Total exercise for January - 6 hours
- Tuesday Jan 08, 2008
*UPDATE*...Well, crap. I didn't accomplish too much tonight. It dawned on me that it was January and I hadn't paid for my Thai Chi and kickboxing classes for January yet, and I don't have enough money to pay for it - so I did not go to class tonight. And I won't be able to go on thursday either because I won't get paid until Friday. I guess I lost sight of that in between...well...everything else. That really sucks, and unfortunately I let it get the best of me tonight and instead of doing something else like going to the gym I opted instead to do nothing but sit on the computer and play games. Sometimes I wish we didn't have a computer...or television...or, like, bread...**sigh** Anyways, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell everyone what I did tonight. So there you go. I plan to pull up my socks tomorrow and make up for it, but I always say that. I should attempt to actually do the things I say i'm going to do. I'm in a bad mood, but it's just a bad mood - i'll be fine by tomorrow morning. The sad part is that my dogs aren't going to get that walk in tonight. I puttered my night away playing Sims. Someone scold me, I need a good talking to already!!!
So I took my audio book along with me to the gym last night, but unfortunately was unable to play any of it due to:
a) I had a friend there with me, so didn't want to seem rude by plugging my ears if she wanted to talk - which she did.
b) The freakin music in the joint was so loud that I could barely hear myself think, nevermind hear any other sound that might be playing in my ear.
I'm all for good music, and i'm partially deaf too (okay, not clinically), so i'm normally okay with loud music. But last night, it was loud. Way too loud. LOUD.
I walked the treadmill for about 20 minutes, then jogged for the next 20, off and on. I think I did about 15 minutes of jogging in total. Felt good! After the treadmill I went on the recumbant bike for 15 minutes. I was going to do some weights last night, but I really wasn't in the mood. Maybe the loud music discouraged me. Anyhow, I got back home by 7:30pm and wasn't sure what to do for the rest of the night. Usually I don't go to the gym until later on at night, so just kind of fall into bed afterwards. So I puttered on the computer a bit, then watched a movie. It was a nice night and I feel pretty good today because of it.
A computer repair tech is coming to my house at lunchtime today to fix my modem. What a headache this modem is! For the last few months, it's been working intermittently and it's driving me insane! I want to go online when it's convenient for ME, for goodness' sake!! So I called the company I signed up through, and they just treated me like crap. First of all, I called them and then the modem started working, so the guy on the phone told me to just monitor it. So I did. And the next time it quit working, I called them again and they pretty much told me what I could do to try to get it back up and to do that from now on. But why should I have to keep rebooting the modem everytime it shuts down? Why shouldn't I have a proper modem that actually works 95% of the time?! So I called them again when it wasn't working, frustrated and ready to tear a strip down someone's back. So they're sending someone out to replace it. This guy phoned me this morning and I told him that it's been working for the last couple of days. He asked if I wanted to just monitor it and I blew up!!! Lol, it's just too exasperating right now! I said that's what i'd been doing for the last few months, and he laughed and said 'ok, i'll come by at lunchtime and take a look'. I hope he replaces it.
My Thai Chi and Kickboxing classes start tonight. Depending on how i'm feeling afterwards I might try to take the dogs for a walk. It'll have to be with both of them though, 'cause i'd never fit in enough time to take them separately. Geez, I have a lot to say today, don't I?!!
Will update later with exercise hours - Go HoP!
Total exercise for January: 5 hours.
- Monday Jan 07, 2008
**UPDATE** - I updated the total hours for January 'cause I went to the gym tonight for an hour and, well, I want instant gratification!
So I managed to take the little puppy out for a walk as well - we were gone for an hour (it's just so much easier to walk her), and I was cruising along listening to my new book. Then the batteries died. I swear, these were brand new batteries. Is it really THAT cold outside?!!! Anyways, from now on i'll have to remember to bring along an extra set of batteries. Geez, if it's not one thing it's another!!
Other than being incredibly hungry today, i'm doing pretty well. I did cave and drink a flavored coffee this afternoon, but I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to get through the last two hours of work. My snacks were really good today, although maybe a bit high in sodium. All in all, I can't complain too much...
I watched a movie last night with a friend of mine who's trying to keep me company while my boyfriend is gone. It was called 'In the Land of Women'. It was such a screwed up movie! Have any of you seen it? This kid goes to his grandma's house where he proceeds to first seduce the next door neighbour, then the neighbour's daughter!!! Craziness! Honest, I have such bad luck picking movies.
I received a text message last night asking if I wanted to go to the gym later today, so I guess it will be the 'first gym day of 2008'. It's sort of exciting, really...
Total exercise for January - 5 hours
- Sunday Jan 06, 2008
I did a little shopping today and managed to find a cheap Queen size sheet set for our new bed - $37.00 on sale (that's CDN). I think that's pretty good for a 280 thread count. And another flat sheet for $4.45 CDN. Then I went to the bookstore and purchased Slash's new book for my boyfriend (i'll have to send it to him I guess), and an Audio book for myself. I got "The Memory Keeper's Daughter". I thought it would motivate me to walk more, and it did!
Since I was out during lunch, I went through Tim Horton's and bought a plain buttered bagel (geez, there's that blasted bread again) and a cafe mocha. When I got back home I grabbed a snack of 7 fat free fruit gummies (100 cals), threw the audio cds into my jacket pocket, grabbed my cd player and headed out the door for a walk. I also took Chewy with me. It was alright and I was really getting into the book, although it's not the same as reading! So, one dog down and one to go! I decided to walk them separately (got the idea from a fellow dd'er), and I still have the little one left to walk. I think i'll do that now, change the batteries in my cd player and listen to more of the book. By the time I get home it'll be time for dinner!
I'm very relaxed today and I feel accomplished. I wonder how long it will last?!!
Total exercise for January - 3 hrs
- Saturday Jan 05, 2008
The dogs and I went for a much needed/required walk last night, took about an hour and a half in total. I had to stop a couple of times for our big dog, Chewbacca, so that he could sniff around or lay down on the ground and pout. He was pouting because he was on the leash almost the entire time. My boyfriend doesn't ever leave Chewbacca on his leash, but I do because he's just too big of a dog to let loose - I can't control him. So he was pouting a bit, but he'll get over it! I hope eventually he will learn to walk beside me without having to pull on his leash all the time, although it IS a great workout for the arms!!!
My eating sucks. I am starting fresh today. I went to get groceries (mostly because I was out of bread because I ate it all) and decided NOT to buy any bread. So the house is sans bread at the moment. And I bought a lot of fruit for snacks. All I seem to want to do is snack! I won't question it though, it's better than wanting five course meals all the time!!!
I am busy cleaning house and feeling lonely because my boyfriend is off working again. He might be gone for three months this time! It's really boring without him here. Today, i'm really craving some company. Maybe i'll phone a friend later for coffee or something.
I guess I have a lot to say tonight because i'm so lonely and bored. Sorry guys!
My regular routine starts next week! Yippee!!!
Total exercise for January: 1.5 hours
- Friday Jan 04, 2008
Hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Year's. Gosh, it's been busy around here. I can hardly wait for February, when a friend and I are going to hit up the all-inclusive resort beaches and take a load off for a week. It will honestly be the best rest i've had in a long time.
Anyways, I had a rotten start to the New Year - I was sick, terribly sick. I must've gotten a flu of some type just before Christmas, and eventually that flu turned into a nasty cold. I couldn't speak for a few days even. It didn't stop me from going skiing though, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much, huh?!!
So I haven't had any exercise to log so far this month because i'm waiting to get over this cold. It's congestion in my chest now, and I just know if I workout then i'll probably choke on my phlegm. I've been working and sleeping, working and sleeping. As soon as I get home from work, I get into my p.j's and into bed. Yes, i've been needing some rest from the holidays! Today I feel ten times better than last week, and I might even try a walk tonight with the dogs. I'm always optimistic about what I can do.
Eating has been decent though not exceptional. As usual, I have my bouts with bread products and I think this one has lasted a couple of months now. I think it's time to kick it.
Getting back to the normal routine next week. Yay!
- Monday Dec 10, 2007
Still doing well on the exercise, but it's only been a few days since my last entry. I've made a date with a friend to hit the gym today after work for an hour, so that's great too. Mondays are usually harder to get to the gym because there usually aren't too many other friends who want to go or will go when I can go. I might even have another date later tonight for the gym with another friend. Believe me, I won't pass it up, especially with the mood i've been in - exercise is the best way to keep things off my mind!
Eating is still rocky, I just can't quite get it. I switched many moons ago to whole wheat bread, but I now realize that bread in and of itself is hazardous! I can't stop eating it! I'll eat just bread! Nothing else, just slices and slices of bread. Seems i'm just navigating my vices from one type of food to the next. Pretty soon there won't be any food in the house (except for vegetables and fruits of which I do not eat enough). I hope a pandemic doesn't strike - i'd be s&*t out of luck!
Total Exercise so far for December - 8 hours
- Friday Dec 07, 2007
It's been pretty busy here recently, work is crazy and my boyfriend is working away from home so is not around to help take care of the house and the dogs. For whatever reason, I am finding that mondays to fridays go by in the blink of an eye but the weekends go even faster. It's hard to believe it's been more than a year (almost a year and a half) since taking this new position on here at work. It feels more like a few months.
My supervisor is definitely leaving within the next couple of weeks and they will begin to orientate and train a new person for the position. I've met one man today that is a candidate for the position and am aware of a couple others who already work for the organization that have also been chosen as candidates. It will be a time-consuming and stressful few weeks for me (as i'm sure it will also be for the successful candidate) and i'm not looking forward to it although I won't say the change won't be good. It's just the added work that won't be good!
I've been fairly religious about working out on average five days/week. Some days are gym workouts, some are kickboxing and tai chi, and others are walks with the dogs. As I said before, it's not relieving my anxiety about life, but I think that's just the phase that i'm in right now which, when I think about it, is not even half as bad as these phases usually are!
Eating. That's something I still need to work on, but at least i've cut out soft ice cream and most cheeses from my diet. It's a start, and those were the two main ingredients that were making my life a living hell anyways.
Total exercise: 6 hours
- Monday Nov 26, 2007
Seriously, I need a break. From what? Well, almost everything I think. I need a break from work especially though - it is so all-consuming and stressful here right now. I've lost my supervisor to another area of the region and it saddens me because she was so wonderful to work for and i'm scared of what will happen next. Well, I suppose change is good, so we'll see if that saying is actually true. But I am still sad and I will be for a long time to come, sort of a mourning period for me right now.
That's one of the reasons I haven't been on here recently. Another reason is because it's getting closer to Christmas and I panic about almost everything a person can possibly panic about over Christmas. I need to get presents bought and wrapped, get the tree up and the decorating done, make sure my boyfriend fixes the wood stove and replaces the water jug - like, today - because he'll be working away from home until Dec 22nd. Yippee. That was sarcasm, if you didn't notice...
Anyways, i'm so stressed over the Christmas season and needing to do ten million things that i'm losing track of everything else - work and recreation activities are only a distant memory at the moment. My days consist of this (here is an actual week that I would have):
Monday: work, get groceries, walk dogs, make gift list/// Tuesday: work, two hours of exercise classes, shop online for gifts/// Wednesday: work, wrap gifts and decorate, baking, clean house, one hour of gym workout/// Thursday: work, stress over Christmas and decide I need to do more, shop online, decorate, one hour of exercise class/// Friday: work, stress some more and over-buy for people, walk dogs, modify and re-do gift list/// Saturday: get up early, one hour of gym workout, visit as many friends and family as possible in one afternoon because I didn't get to see anyone during the week, stress some more over gifts but decide not to do anything about it today (except stress)/// Sunday: get up early, one hour of gym workout, do laundry, clean house, check gift list and decide to rip it up and start fresh on Monday, baking, fall into bed.
I wish those activities like going to the gym, exercise classes or walking the dogs would de-stress me a little bit, but they don't. They make it worse because I could be doing so much more in the time i'm using for this exercise bull-sh!t. See? I'm going nut-zo.
I think the worst thing about my weeks are that i'm letting the stress bring me down. Don't get me wrong - i'm still in a pretty good mood, which is really surprising for me - but I can just feel the stress ulcers boiling up in my body...
- Monday Nov 05, 2007
Ugh. When does the business of life slow down?? Ever? EVER???
Working like a fiend to catch up on things, even though I haven't missed a whole lot of time away from the office. I guess it's a good thing as long as I can finish all my projects in time, otherwise I shall be a bit frustrated.
So I went on an ice cream pilot project in October. I was feeling really crappy in September and I am thinking that it was because of all the ice cream i'd been eating that month. Crazy amounts! So, after three weeks of an all-out ice cream fest, I decided to quit. Cold Turkey. Something that is extremely hard to do when you become addicted to it and it's a part of your normal everyday routine. I guess you know all about that though, so i'll just move on...
After three weeks of not even a smidgen of ice cream nearing my lips, I caved on Halloween Night. OOOOooo, scary. I asked my boyfriend 'wouldn't he like an ice cream?' and basically forced him into agreeing that ice cream was a good idea. On Thursday afternoon, whilst sitting at my desk at the office, I nearly had a breakdown. I was sick, not physically, but mentally. Really, literally, mentally ill. I barely made it home without sobbing, and once at home took it all out on my boyfriend, then proceeded to feel guilty and cry about that, too. Then, out of nowhere came the mean hand of anger. And I was angry!! Holy, was I angry! At what, I have no idea. I don't know why I was overcome with sadness, either. After bouncing off the two emotions for a good six hours, I finally pushed myself into bed and lay there almost panic stricken for about half an hour before I could fall asleep.
I think I need to find a substitute for ice cream. My boyfriend's Dad thinks I should take some more tests - you know, try hard ice cream next time instead of soft ice cream. HAHA, did you think I meant doctor's tests?!!
Anyways, all this trouble would never have started if I wasn't with my boyfriend. He's way more of an ice cream freak than I am. Two years ago, I could've taken it or left it - didn't matter one bit to me. But now, addicted.
Yes, I blame him. I've gotta blame someone other than myself...