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legcramps - Wednesday Aug 04, 2010

Weight: 164.0

I've no clue how I managed to lose 4 pounds since Friday, other than to say i've been sick.

Positive - I don't feel half as bad as I could be feeling!  Thank You Depo Provera!  Whoop!

Yes, the month of July was disastrous health-wise.  Towards the end of the month, i'd been waking up in the middle of the night with stomach cramping and back aches, keeping me awake for the rest of the night.  There were some hard nights, and I still get to look forward to more of them.  Even though i've gone back onto the Depo shot, I am still waking up after 4 hours of sleep and not being able to get any more rest in a night.  I know it will take some time for the shot to take effect, I only wish it didn't have to hurt every day, every night, every minute!  Advil has once again become my best friend.  I really dislike living like this.

Anyways, I am looking forward to this weekend's folk festival.  There are so many things to look forward to!  Next week I will hopefully have a couple days off work and I will be hosting a big BBQ for our slo-pitch team.  Then my Dad will be visiting and hopefully by then we'll be able to pull some things up from the garden!  I've already picked a big zuchinni and given it to my mother, but that's it so far.

I forgot to mention that I saw a dude at the mud fling that actually sparked my interest.  It's been a while since anyone has managed to do that.  I'm pretty sure he's not from town though, so... blah!

Plan for today:

Breakfast - mocha

Lunch - bun, lettuce, chicken, mayo

Snack - blueberries

Dinner - IDK

Exercise - slo-pitch

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

tangalyn on 08/04/2010:
hope u start feeling better and getting more rest soon... and i hope u find out that guy is local and available :) good luck with everything.. have a great day!

loveray on 08/04/2010:
so happy to hear about your success!! love to you.

Umpqua on 08/04/2010:
Congratulations on the loss! And I hope you get to feeling better soon.

biscottibody59 on 08/04/2010:
Your nights don't sound like much fun or very restful for that matter. I hope things begin to improve for you soon!

Wt loss can be mysterious:->

geevee on 08/04/2010:
At least you get four hours sleep before wakig up and staying awake. With me it's a lousy hour and most of the time, that's it for me! What a way to live!

just42day on 08/04/2010:
Sounds like you have some great activities planned! Enjoy. Can't explain the weight loss? Who cares -- take it! (though I am sorry if it was a function of illness.)

2luvself on 08/04/2010:
Sorry to hear about the pain. I went through something similar. I was put on the depo shot because I had 2 week long TOMs with serious pain. But then after a while the shot made my blood pressure shoot through the roof so I had to be taken off. Not only that but the depo shot made me an emotional reck through out the year. So I got my IUD (Hormonal uterine devices) the MIRENA IUD that do not increase bleeding as inert and copper-containing IUDs do. Rather, they reduce menstrual bleeding or prevent menstruation altogether, and can be used as a treatment for menorrhagia (heavy periods).

I am so very happy I did. I hardly ever bleed and when I do its light and now when I try to lose weight its easier then when I was on the depo shot. Once its placed inside it works for 5 years. So just get a doctor to place it in and forget it. There is an upfront fee thats a little large depending on whether you have coverage or not but in the long run over the 5 years its works out to around 7$ a month so its a great investment. I would definitely consider it.


CoverGirl on 08/04/2010:
All I have to thank the Depo shot for is my weight gain. Grrr.... Hope you have a great day!!

2luvself on 08/04/2010:
Oh and I forgot to mention yeah Victoria is home sweet home for me. and you?

V on 08/04/2010:
The next time someone sparks your interest do a little flirting! LOl Have a good one girl

Maria7 on 08/04/2010:
I like Zuchinni! :-)

legcramps - Friday Jul 30, 2010

Weight: 168.0

Wow, it is so humid today, and already very warm outside and it's only 8am!  It's gonna be a scorcher!  Love it!

Since I had the evening to myself yesterday, I managed to completely flounder it up by becoming bored, then eating anything I could think of.  I think I went through a pound of blueberries.  Ah well!  As you can see I am not beating myself up over it - I could, but it wouldn't get me anywhere.  I have simply moved on to today, and will try my best, one step at a time.

I could still be sleeping and that would be fine with me.  For some reason, my eyes keep wanting to close!  Doesn't come in handy when you're trying to type!  Uh-oh!

Positive - It's Friday!!!

Plan for today:

Breakfast - 2 slices multi-grain with peanut butter, black coffee

Lunch - turkey sandwich, same as yesterday's

Snack - yogurt, banana; maybe some blueberries (not another pound of 'em though)

Dinner - BBQ hamburgers, steamed green beans

Exercise - slo-pitch, possibly mowing the lawn

Other - Mud Fling is tomorrow night!  I am going to a friend's for BBQ tomorrow, then we are heading to the dance.  I am making rum smoothies with bananas and strawberries and ice!  Maybe some orange juice, too.  Yum, yum!

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!

just42day on 07/30/2010:
Great attitude! Mud Fling sounds fun - whatever it is.

hollybelle on 07/30/2010:
Welcome back. I wondered where you had been. I hear you about the negativity. Me, too, I'm tired of being an "I can't" person. I can't believe I became one - that's typically not me! I needed a new attitude and I have one. You and I have exactly the same weight posted and that's my real weight right now. We have new attitudes so let's get going on our goals! My goal weight is 5 lbs less than your goal - I'm 5'4" or 5" not sure! But we should kind of have a lot in common right now - let's get to it!

biscottibody59 on 07/30/2010:
Oh F-f-flounder--haha!

Glad you had a nice vacation! The heat--I know it well!

hollybelle on 07/30/2010:
I have to watch my comments on here! I hope you didn't think I was suggesting your goal "ought" to be lower!!! I wasn't AT ALL. I was just comparing the things we have in common and saying that we can get there. I understand about obsessing all the time about the numbers - not healthy! I just want to be healthy and at a weight I think I can maintain realisticly! Spark poeple had a great article today about a goal of losing 10% of your body weight being realistic. That's about what we want - so we MUST be OK!!

sweetpea1977 on 07/30/2010:
A pound of blueberries. Yum! At least its not a pound of potato chips. :)

Great plan for today. Enjoy your weekend!

Umpqua on 07/30/2010:
A pound of blueberries is a good thing (as long as they don't upset your tummy). Think of all those antioxidants! My hubby can easily do that, and the boys are taking after him. It's impossible to keep berries in the house, I basically have to buy a pint for each of us and horde mine :) I hope you have a great weekend!

Moody3 on 07/30/2010:
Blueberries are great brain food!!! I wouldn't feel badly at all about bingeing on those!!

Mudfling sounds like alot of fun!! Enjoy and be safe!

WI3 on 07/31/2010:
Welcome back!!

legcramps - Thursday Jul 29, 2010

Weight: 165.0

Hi everyone, i'm back from vacation and had a wonderful time!  It was so nice to get away for a while; upon coming back home I truly felt that another little 'chunk' of the negativity i've been carrying around has fallen off.  I still have a long way to go, but I am trying to concentrate on living in the present and dropping the 'victim' persona.

I gained 5lbs while I was away.  My brother's family sure like to snack, not that i'm blaming them of course.  It's my own darn fault!  Anyways, i've already lost 1.5lbs since i've been back home, and am working on the rest as we speak!

Positive - I am home, where I have some wonderful friends who are taking up all my spare time!  No yardwork for me this week, haha!

No more negatives in these entries.  Well, I might vent from time to time, but i'm not going to make it a point to find something negative in each day.  That's sort of silly, don't you think?

Plan for today:

Breakfast - one slice multi-grain toast with peanut butter, coffee with sweetener.

ooo ooo - I bought myself some brown sugar cubes for my coffee.  Yum.  What a lovely treat!  It's amazing this little town even had any at the grocery store.

Lunch - i'm thinking a multi-grain turkey sandwich, mayo/mustard, sprouts and cheese.

Snack - yogurt and blueberries.

Dinner - hmmmn.

Exercise - i'd like to take the dog for a walk after work, though it is threatening rain.  instead, might just take an extra night off before getting back into routine.  that is, if no one calls me to do something else!

There's a great local concert coming up this weekend, and a folk festival in the city next weekend.  I love summer!

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

geevee on 07/29/2010:
That sandwich sounds delicious. Yum yum!

just42day on 07/29/2010:
Yes, your sandwich does sound wonderful. Glad you had a great time away and feel more positively about things. Getting away sometimes can be the best medicine!

liza36 on 07/29/2010:
Glad you had a good vacation. And congrats on the loss of vaca-weight so far! Keep it up.

Umpqua on 07/29/2010:
Welcome back! Great attitude, it sounds like that vacation did wonders for you.

sweetpea1977 on 07/29/2010:
Welcome back! Glad you had a wonderful time with your family. :)

I do like that you are dropping the negatives. Noone is perfect so their is no reason to dwell on the mistakes. Instead, focus on all the good (positive) things that you were able to accomplish. :)

moogy on 07/29/2010:
Who is this new woman, with the wonderful positive attitude!!!LOL Wonderful and a pretty good looking menu so far. Have a grea day.

V on 07/29/2010:
Welcome back :)

selina on 07/30/2010:
I'm so happy to hear you had a great vacation!

legcramps - Friday Jul 16, 2010

Weight: 165.0

I didn't weigh this morning, but I sure felt horrible about myself last night.  Of course, it didn't help that I came across my X and his gf (an x-friend of mine - you see the connection).  Sometimes I feel so unworthy of having love.  I just wish I could focus my spirit and mind elsewhere so that I could stop the hurting.  If I continue to have resentment i'll never be able to let it go.

I leave on holidays tomorrow morning for just over a week.  I probably won't have access to a computer so don't be alarmed if you don't hear from me until i'm back at home.  I assure you i'll be having a blast!

I stuck to plan yesterday but had popcorn at the movies.  This morning isn't going well so far, and it's in direct relation to last night and my silly feelings of worthlessness.  A mocha and multi-grain bagel smothered with butter for breakfast.  This is not a good sign.

It's a sad day, which is unfortunate because otherwise i'd so be looking forward to holidays with my brother and his family.  As it is, I simply would rather sleep the day away or spend it grumbling at people I don't know.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 07/16/2010:
ahhh that of the x's is awful... I think you'll get a much better one!!! Maybe during holidays ;-)

Moody3 on 07/16/2010:
I'm sorry that you're sad, but unfortunetly I understand the whole broken heart/hard to get over ex thing. We all do. Running into your ex who is teamed up with someone who used to be your friend is a double whammy~Ouch. Go easy on yourself.

I am working on loving myself~I too have feelings of worthlessness~wondering if I am worthy of love..Is there something wrong with me, that kind of thing. I know better tho~and I know YOU know better about yourself. Someone is going to be very lucky and very blessed to have you as his one of these days~And he will cherish who you are and what you have to offer~

Please try to shake off last night~don't let him continue to have any control over you or your emotions..I know that's easier said than done~I don't suppose you "meant" to run into them and it was kind of a shock to the system and threw you for a loop~totally understandable. But try to let it go~focus on YOU~Enjoy your vacation and your brother and his family!!

tangalyn on 07/16/2010:
plz get rid of those feeings of worthlessness, u deserve so much better than to feel that way. hope ur day gets better, hugs

Umpqua on 07/16/2010:
Sorry you had a bad night. I remember you mentioning your boyfriend all the time back when I was on here pre-pregnancy and I wondered what had happened. That sucks...but living well is the best revenge, right? I hope you have an excellent holiday with your family!!

V on 07/16/2010:
Don't be down in the dumps you are going to be surrounded with love from your family! Have a wonderful time :)

nita51 on 07/17/2010:
I know the feeling,,,,How about walking in and catching your husband with your ( suppose to be ) best friend???? It happened to me, and It was the greatest hurts of my life. But girl, I dumped his behind and became stronger than I ever knew I could be. Somewhere, there is a good man for you,,, Just keep on believing that and keep loving yourself. Hugs!

Maria7 on 07/17/2010:
Hang in there! :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/18/2010:
Oh, yes...the other girl. Yeah, I think we have all grown to hate the other girl. And hate our exes for being with them....something like that anyway.

I feel like you are setting yourself up for failure...saying things like "this is going well so far..." you can do this. so, it's not going well, doesn't mean that it can't go well later. You can change what hasn't happened yet. Do not let something you did in the past spoil the rest of your day!

legcramps - Thursday Jul 15, 2010

Weight: 165.0

I hurt.  If you could see me right now, you'd see the pain in my glossed over eyes.

So I took an advil and we'll see what happens.

I had to run so much last night during slo-pitch that I literally had to sit out one defensive inning in order to regain my breath.  I believe the muscles in the right side of my back are swollen - ah damnit, I should have taken a muscle relaxant.  Think well today, I do not.

Sugar-free jello and 1/8 oz of alcohol.  You can do so much with it.  If anyone wants to know what kinds we used, I can be all over that for 'ya.  YUM.  We won with such startling intensity that we've agreed if it wasn't so damn expensive we'd have jello shots every Wednesday.

Positive - We played and won against my old slo-pitch team.  I don't know why, but that feels pretty good.  My new team rocks.

Negative - I didn't get the grass cut.  I'll have to do that today.

Plan for today - same as yesterday!

Exercise - cut grass

Other - prepare for trip, watch Eclipse

Have a great day everyone!

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 07/15/2010:
That jello shot probably has no carbs in it either (most of the hard liquors don't). Too bad I'm not supposed to have alcohol during induction :P

getmebackto150 on 07/15/2010:
thanks! I LOVE jello shots... Haven't had them in ages... YUM!!

V on 07/15/2010:
I can't have booze either so I live vicariously through you all! But 1 more month and I will be able to

Moody3 on 07/15/2010:
Can't say that I've ever had a jello shot, but would love to try one!! What kind of alcohol do you typically use?

Sorry you're so achey~hope the muscle relaxant helps..Maybe a soak in a hot bath too~Take care of yourself!

selina on 07/16/2010:
I hope the meds helped you with the pains... :(

selina on 07/16/2010:
I haven't watched Eclipse but read the book... enjoy!

legcramps - Wednesday Jul 14, 2010

Weight: 165.5

The Twix Monster jumped me not three minutes ago.  Serious.  This is how it went down:

At 2:30pm, I decided to make myself a 40 calorie frappaccino using a baggie of foamy powder stuff and some boiling water.  Using a large sippy cup (travel mug), I decided to use two baggies (80 calories) and juice it up a bit.  misssssss....take.  First of all, the powder foamed over and ran all over my hands.  Next, I took a sip and just about threw up because it literally STUNK of caffeine.  WAYyy too much caffeine.  Ok, lesson learned.

But the evil that is chocolate wouldn't go away that easily.  After my half-hour beligerant attempt to make the above, I had a quickie meeting.  3:30pm rolls around and the only thing i'm thinking of is how I can get me some chocolate.

4:00pm I stumble down to the cafeteria, in a weakened state due to all the thoughts of eating chocolate, drinking chocolate, swimming in cocoa puffs with skim milk... I grab some change from my purse and start feeding the vending machine.  The Twix Monster yells out "MORE" over and over until I finally realize I don't have enough money.

4:05pm I stand in front of the vending machine and sob uncontrollably.  The Twix Monster cries with me.

4:07pm a co-worker stops me in the hallway and asks what's wrong.  Upon learning of my unfortunate situation, he offers me the 25 cents I need to complete my purchase.  I grab it from his hand, turn, and run back to the machine.  The Twix Monster grins at my co-worker which causes him to run screaming in terror out of the building.

4:10pm the Twix bar is in my hand and I feel calm, steady, peaceful even.  I break open the foil only two steps into my walk back to my desk. 

4:25pm (present).  The foil sits in the garbage can while I sit at my desk, beaten again.  But joyfully buzzed.  It doesn't take much.

Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

V on 07/14/2010:
You are a great story teller!I was sitting on the edge of my seat..Have a good evening and try not to let the Big Bad Twix Monster frighten you again...lol

grumpy on 07/15/2010:
I really enjoyed reading this. you're so cute. hope you're doing well too. don't let the twix monster bite! :)

legcramps - Wednesday Jul 14, 2010

Weight: 165.5

These old bones are creaking badly this morning.  Thank goodness I found out yesterday that I don't have to play ball on Friday.  Only one more game this week!  I can do that.  I won't be able to walk for two days afterwards, but I can play one more game!

Mom helped me hill the corn and potatoes yesterday, just a few more corn plants to do, some weeding, and cut the grass today.  whew.

I was suffering greatly under my "Meatless" week policies.  I caved yesterday and bought me some pig.  Well, I tried, didn't I?  I was feeling weak and grumpy and wasn't interested in eating yet another bowl of lentil casserole.  I just wasn't.  You'd think i'd have more determination since it was only day 3.

Positive - Holidays soon!

Negative - My back hurts.

Plan for today:

Breakfast - coffee and yogurt

Lunch - black bean burritos

Snack - cucumber and peanut butter

Dinner - lentil casserole with extra rice and maybe we'll slop some ketchup on top

Exercise - cut grass; slo-pitch

Other - one of my teammates has to payback for striking out a few times during the season.  she's making jello shooters for tonight.  It could be an incredibly bad day tomorrow.  don't worry.  I'll let you know.

Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

getmebackto150 on 07/14/2010:
what is in your lentil casserole? I would like to try it if you have the recipe... I hear you on the craving meat lol... I'm a newfound vegetarian (since april) and have had many meat cravings... so much that I allow myself seafood once per month to keep from going crazy... lol

geevee on 07/14/2010:
I couldn't make it with the lentils again yesterday either and instead asked my son for 4 oz of his steak! I couldn't help it. It smelled so good!

V on 07/14/2010:
Good luck resisting jello shooters,on the other hand how bad can they be for you if she used sugar free jello,lol

legcramps - Tuesday Jul 13, 2010

Weight: 165.5

Quick discovery made that needs to be documented:  (absolutely nothing to do with dieting)

I have discovered why people know so much more than I.

It's because they blab blab blab ALL DAY LONG.  In depth conversations about the size of freakin' HORSE POOH for goodness' sake!

God help me, i'm an idiot.

Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Moody3 on 07/13/2010:
LOL~thanks for the laugh~really needed that!!!

legcramps - Tuesday Jul 13, 2010

Weight: 165.5

Crazy week!  Excellent!

Monday - slo-pitch; started packing; paid bills

Tuesday - slo-pitch; hill garden or cut grass

Wednesday - slo-pitch; garden or grass (whichever one I didn't do on Tuesday)

Thursday - pack etc; watch Eclipse; take lawnmower back to Mom's.

Friday - slo-pitch; sleep!

Saturday - leave for trip 0400 hrs!!!

Four friggin days of slo-pitch.  That should lose me a pound or two.

I apologize for my lack of discipline yesterday with the tempting picture of the evil chocolate cake.  I didn't mean to post it.  Really.

Plan for today is the same as yesterday's.  It's really hard to go meatless - i'm craving all sorts of meaty dishes... some that I haven't even tried in my lifetime, like braised rabbit and lamb skillet.  The worst part about this week is that there are a dozen beefed up cabbage rolls sitting in the freezer.  I've been thinking of them like you'd think of a lover you haven't seen in months.

Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

geevee on 07/13/2010:
Comparing cabbage rolls to a long lost lover has me laughing out loud here at the library!

Umpqua on 07/13/2010:
LOL! I really don't think I could give up meat. Tried it briefly in college and it just doesn't work for me. That said, I've had rabbit (yum) and am a huge lamb fan. Enjoy your busy week!

legcramps - Monday Jul 12, 2010

Weight: 165.5

I could think of a few Black Magic Moments to celebrate with a cake like this one.  Not that all i'm doing today is drooling over pictures of chocolate cake.  I managed to make a phone call and send an e-mail so far...



Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 07/13/2010:
Oh. Oh my :)

biscottibody59 on 07/13/2010:
Hey there! To answer your question--no, I don't think it's the walking. This is the least activity/exercise I've gotten in a long time, but it's consistent--so not at all bad. I think what may be happening is that I'm just not eating much fat or calories (compared to what I had been).

I had a couple/three weeks with something going on with my gut, which made me full really quickly (sometimes it came with some pressure too). I still don't know what was going on there. At any rate that resolved, but I was very cautious about what I was eating. Though I was writing down my food, I didn't count calories much, so I think the little restriction I ended up doing at night because of the physical ill may have jumpstarted something. I then cut back on fat and really increased fiber (fruit/veg) there for awhile. I've toned that down just to see what I could get away with eating here and there since then.

Also I've just about eliminated all high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in the form of soft drinks/soda waters. I wasn't drinking all that much anyway, but I seem to have a sensitivity to it. It's hard to put my finger on it, I'm just better off not making it a choice. On that same count, I had cut out ANYTHING with HFCS a couple years ago and it seemed to have some effect then as well--calming and just reducing cravings altogether.

All the research, etc more or less says the body doesn't differentiate HFCS from sugar, but I think the difference with me is that if I use sugar, I'm putting it in/on food myself. I'm controlling it. And the average cup of soda has upwards of 10 tsp of sugar (in the form of HFCS usually). Who's going to go to the kitchen and make a glass of tea for instance and put 10 tsp of sugar in it:-)

Anyway. A long-winded answer to say: I'm not sure, but I did make a few changes. I try to get at least 6 hrs sleep/night. And some of the eating changes made during my ill period in June/July have stuck. The walking helped, but it's not the key.

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