I had to re-visit the dentist yesterday because I have an infection from one of the wisdom teeth I had removed last week.  Apparently, the infection is pretty bad.  They've put me on anti-biotics for the next two weeks to try and fight it.  It really hurts.  Such is life.

I still have trouble eating solid foods, but made a supper date with a friend tomorrow and come **** or high water i'm going to eat, I tell 'ya!

Not in the mood for much else lately, although the house is clean and I cleaned up the backyard on the weekend.  The weather here is quite nice for this time of year; hopefully I can still take advantage of it and do something outside to re-energize.  Physical activity is severly lacking in my days.

Back into drinking my water - surprisingly, it wasn't that difficult to get back into it.  I just picked up a bottle of water and started at 'er.  I wish it was always that easy - for everything!

I have a meeting tonight, so I think i'm going to slouch on the couch after work and read for a bit first.  I bought myself those eggs and bread yesterday, so i'm due for a toasted egg and peanut butter sandwich... is that wierd?!  And maybe a few slices of cheese.  I'm still having trouble eating; I have to push all the food to the left side of my mouth and then very delicately attempt to chew it thoroughly.  Some of the most basic actions in life are SO taken for granted.

I've decided to paint three canvasses for my brother and his wife as their christmas present.  Very doable - flowers, butterflies, black, white, sepia images.  It's all set out in my mind already.  It might change a bit, but i've got the general gist of what I want to do.  And, i've already started writing a bit.  I want to be able to give their twin daughters each a book this christmas, written by moi!  I probably won't have time to get them bound like I wanted to, though.  So that's what they're getting.  And thank goodness I have at least SOME raw talent, because I don't have a lot of money to work with these days and trying to come up with a gift that would compare would be horrendously expensive!

I was invited to visit my aunt in NWT this spring.  She will be dancing with her daughters in a Ukranian dance group.  She has offered to help me pay for my ticket, so I am seriously considering going as this is probably the only major trip I will be able to go on!  I would still love to see my brother and his family for christmas, but it's not looking like i'll be able to.

Other than that, I need to clean the house.  Exciting, huh?

Oh, THANK YOU hollybelle for your comment.  It sure made me feel better about my situation.  And you're right - the shame is his, not mine!

My dentist appt did not go well.  I think I may have dry-socket.  Very painful and I am a little discouraged that my luck seems to have disappeared in the last year or so.  I believe i've been cursed!!  Ha-ha, well maybe not, but you never know...

I've fallen off the water wagon, so I need to pick myself up and get going again.  It is pretty busy around here, both at work and at home with social committments.  Sometimes I take on too many things.

I might take a nap after work.  But first, I should buy some eggs and bread.

Doing alright.  I apologize for my rant of the other day.  I needed to vent and unfortunately, this was the only place I could do so.

I haven't been doing much lately, I've been feeling sick and so have been taking it easy for the most part.  I have a dentist's appointment today to get two wisdom teeth yanked.  I am not looking forward to this.

This week should go fast - we have Remembrance Day holiday on Wednesday.

For goodness' sake!  Why does my life continue to drag me under the ground???!

Just when I think i'm doing alright, things are looking up, blah-de-blah, an ex-friend decides she just absolutely NEEDS to tell me what my X had been doing... for the LAST 5 YEARS!!!  I don't know - do I really need to hear this at this point?  Really?  Because now I not only feel like a complete fool, I also feel like the laughing-stock of the town.  How could she not know?  Why did she stay with him for so long?  And on and on and on.  OMG you guys, seriously.  How much more of this SHAME can I take?  This is just the last straw.  I'm done.  Done!  DONE!!!!

I hate that no one that knew what was going on cared enough to just freakin' END it for me and TELL me.  Everyone in this darn town knows me and knows what was going on, everyone but my closest friends.  And NOW, this ex-friend of mine has decided to make my X a VICTIM!!  So, not only do I have to carry the shame in being with a boy who had NEVER wanted to be with me, I also have to sit and watch everyone feel SORRY for him!!!

My God, when does it end?

Sorry.

I hate this weather.  It's freezing rain and freezing cold and... well, no need to continue to complain about the weather when you can't do anything about it!  I didn't take the dog for a walk yesterday either because I was frozen solid by the time I got home from work.  I don't understand why we cannot turn up the heat in the office, just a tiny bit would help tremendously.  When I got home I changed into long underwear, heavy sweatpants, a turtleneck sweater and a hoodie over top!  Still, I could not warm up, so there was no way I was venturing out into the cold to go for a walk.  Eventually, I took a warm bath and that seemed to help.

Carved a couple of pumpkins last night which was a lot of fun, even the gutting part!  Then I sat on my new couch and enjoyed it.  It's huge!  I was scared that it wouldn't fit into the space I had set out for it, but it just barely does.  It's a good thing I don't have a huge big screen tv otherwise no one would be able to watch it from three feet away!  But it's so COMFY!  Very pleased.

Was really tired last night and fell to sleep right away, although I woke up a few times in the middle of the night.  I wish I could stop doing that, it really messes up my sleep and makes me even more tired the next day.

I am starting to plan for some of the things I want to accomplish in the future.  I have decided to clear a space in the garage in springtime to make room for painting, and i'm going to be setting aside time (away from the computer and the phone) to write.  Besides becoming more healthy, these are the two things I most wish for.  Life will always get in the way, but if I can make time for these things I will feel that I am accomplishing something great.

3 more litres of water yesterday (actually, it's getting closer to 4 litres now), and I noticed I dropped another half pound this morning.  I recently received the flu shot and haven't had much of an appetite since, so i'm not going to put too much thought into how much weight i'm losing right now.  It will probably balance itself out in the next week or so.

Another 3 litres of water down the hatch yesterday.  Geez, if i'm not consistent with anything, at least i'm keeping up with the water intake!

I missed walking the dog yesterday, since I talked to grandma for a bit then had to get ready for a friend's visit.  It was also raining outside, again.  Oy vey!  When does the rain end?!  Then I went for a drink with another friend.  It was a good venting session for both of us!  I'm glad I was able to talk through some things that were bothering me.  It's always nice to have a good friend who will listen, no matter what you have to say.  I didn't want to wake up this morning.  I feel good today, though.  The afternoon is what'll kick my butt!

I have to vote for town council today after work, then walk the dog, then go to a friend's to carve pumpkins.  Should be another full night!  Yee-haw!  Oh!  AND I got my new couch delivered this morning!  I haven't seen it yet, but i'm going home for lunch right away - I cannot wait to see what it looks like!  I've been waiting and waiting (not at all patiently either) for it to arrive.

I drank at least 3 litres of water everyday since I last updated.  Whooo!  Some days were harder than others, but i'm getting into a groove/routine now so hopefully will be better able to keep it up.  It's amazing what a difference it makes in my skin - I look almost... misty, or something.  Can't find the right word for it!

I've still been taking the dog for a walk, although I missed Saturday and Sunday because things were just too busy.  Plus, perhaps I needed the break.  It was nice to get back into it, especially last night when I was feeling so worn down and sorry for myself.  Need to pull through, make a better life for myself and my future family, 'cause I know there will be one.  One day.

Anyways, the moral of the story is that I AM feeling better these days, no matter how miserable I sound!  Each day gets better and better.  I am glad for the friends that I do have, for they give me a reason to keep going instead of wallowing in self-pity.  There's no need to feel sorry for myself - I have everything I need right now, and there is still a lesson to be learned from all of the changes in my life recently.  Once I figure it out, i'll start sailing my way towards a more successful and happy life.

Yesterday I drank over 4 litres of water.  I also drank a lot of coffee and I think it really dehydrated me, so i'm glad I was able to drink lots of water to make up for it.

I took my dog for a half hour walk.  I was incredibly 'worked up' from the coffee so it was a jumbled mess of a walk - I really don't remember much of it; we paraded around town like two banshees in a grain bin, desperate to get out.  I was never more happy to arrive back at home, out of the line of vision!  It was still sometime after that when the jitters finally died down.

I was pretty tired yesterday, that was the only downfall.  That, and I had to ask X for some pictures I left there.  That wasn't fun either.  But other than that, it was a pretty good evening.  I took a nice hot bath and when I finally decided to go upstairs to bed, I was sufficiently drowsy and comfortably warm.  Mmmm.  Makes me want to go back to bed!

The days are starting to move along a little more quickly now.  I would normally say this sucks as it means winter comes quickly and summer fades just as fast.  But i'm glad for the quick-flying time since I am needing to re-fuel my mind and spirit and get over all the things that have occured in my life this year.

It is time to cut myself off from those people who do not offer any benefit in my life.  I know I might be a bit selfish in saying so, but I have hung on this past month for some type of string that I thought perhaps they would throw at me.  And I would have gladly accepted, however thin that piece of string was.  With the grief my family and I have been faced with I could have used all of the support systems I could get my hands on.  I was not a thought in their mind, however.  And as selfish as this may be, I am done.  Done being trampled over and stepped on and punched repeatedly when i've done nothing wrong.  Done feeling grief over breaking up with someone who was never really part of my life to begin with.  Yes, I am done.

I've had three litres of water every day for the last eight days, except for Saturday.  Saturday was a busy day and however much I wanted to get that water in, it just couldn't happen.

I've taken the dog for a walk every day for the last eight days, for at least half an hour, sometimes more.

I've prepared my house for winter.

I've scratched off more to-do's and to-buy's for my house.

I am ready to move forward.  This game is on!