Hey everyone,

Is it ever busy at work today.  I was off yesterday, so today i'm playing a game of 'catch-up' and, well, let's just say i'm not winning...

Chicken salad tonight for supper, maybe with some garlic bread but that means i'll have to hit up the grocery store after work and i'm TIRED, people.  I could just crawl underneath my desk and go right to sleep.  But I guess I should go because I need peppers and onions and cheese as well, otherwise it just wouldn't be chicken salad.  Maybe I should grab a bottle of wine, too.  A glass of wine with supper.  Mmmn.

My weekend was good but not quite relaxing, especially when you've got two people (my boyfriend and his sister) who are very high-energy and are constantly either a) doing something, or b) worrying about doing something.  Other than that it was great, even the aptly named 'sharing circle' over Sunday night dinner when we all aired our frustrations in a quick 60 minute conversation.  Oh well.  It's gotta happen sometimes, right?!  At least this way, I knew that I wasn't the only one going through relationship issues, and my boyfriend's sister became aware that her big brother wasn't perfect.  Although it wasn't my intent to have her find that out, I wasn't exactly displeased that she agreed with my arguments over some of the issues my boyfriend and I are having.  Feels good to have someone on your side, you know?

I may go to the gym tonight, may do some tobogganing, may not do anything at all.  I have the night off from curling (YEE-HAW!), so I might just take advantage of that and do my laundry instead.

On Wednesday night I went to a community meeting regarding setting up a dog park in our town.  I am very hopeful that this is something we will be able to do, as I believe it is very important to the health of the community as a whole and will benefit both dogs and their owners in healthy participation in community events.  We've never been able to hold such functions as dog shows/events, fundraisers for humane societies, hosting training sessions, etc. so it will definitely be a large boost for the town and its residents.  I'm excited about it, but at the same time i'm hoping that the committee won't overload us with work in regards to it!  I want to be a part of this great benefit to the community - just not at the expense of my frugal recreational time!  I'm confident that it will work out though, somehow.

My boyfriend and I are taking a trip this weekend to visit his sister, so i'm not sure how much I will be able to exercise.  That bums me out a little, but I know when I get back that my friend will not let me waver any longer on the threshold of healthy living!  Thank goodness for friends!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

After the eggs and toast for breakfast yesterday, I followed up with another 2 slices of toast for lunch and Shepard's Pie (spelling? wrong? probably) for dinner.  I loaded the pie with every type of vegetable in the house, aside from mushrooms, which, thinking about it now would have been pretty darn yummy...

Drank my quota of water last night, finishing the last .5 liter at the gym.  Tonight we upped our minutes to 4 1/2 minutes jogged per 30 minutes of treadmill time.  I know, it's not much, but we're working on it.  It used to be only 3 minutes, so we're doing a lot better!

Life at home is getting better each day, although I am an emotional wreck most of the time and it doesn't take much for me to change emotions and moods.  Oh well, I am grateful as each day ends and I look forward to spending the nights with my boyfriend, so that is definitely on the brighter side of things...

Oh my God.  If this is what happens everytime I decide to own up to my mistakes and unhealthy habits, then I am going to live in a hut all by myself for the rest of my life.  No, really.  Really.

I confronted my boyfriend on Friday night and this weekend has been the worst in my life.  Maybe.  Close to the worst anyways.  For the first hour of the conversation, we had both decided that this wasn't what we wanted and we didn't want to salvage it or make any effort to repair the destruction.  We were happy (not really, but you know what I mean) to cut our losses and move on.  We found that we had started to make plans to move apart even before having this conversation.  It seemed like a cut and dry argument - there wasn't anything to fight over.  Then the blood started leaking out of the cracks in the walls.  Harsh words were spoken but truth prevailed and we both needed to hear it.  Aha, we weren't ready to call it quits just yet.  There were some major issues we needed to deal with, but could we make the effort to pull it together long enough to salvage what we'd spent five years destroying?

End result:  we have some issues to deal with; issues that are huge and scary and i'm not sure if we can get through them.  The fortunate thing is that we're both willing to try.  If we can communicate with each other instead of wasting the others' time, we might actually have a shot.  We'll see, and take it one day at a time, and accept that whatever we decide it will be the right decision for us - together or apart.

I went to the gym last night and did my treadmill workout.  I need to start upping the number of minutes that I run - maybe next week i'll start on that.  I had a terrible stress-related headache before going to the gym, but felt so much better afterwards. 

I got groceries yesterday too, and picked up a lot of good foods - now I just have to cook and prepare them and I should be able to eat nothing but healthy foods this week!  Today I had eggs and toast for breakfast, and brought strawberries and bananas to work to snack on this afternoon because that's usually when I get the most hungry!  No excuses today!!

Not much new to report today... I haven't really done anything in the past two days that would be beneficial to my health.  Just being honest :}

However, I am writing down what I eat and trying hard to keep drinking water and I think that's an honorable start, no?!  We haven't been back to the gym for a few days, planning on going tonight and I think it is most likely to happen since my friend will not let us slide. 

I watched 'Twilight' last night.  Pretty good, I had already read the book so was a little disappointed as usual that the movie didn't turn out quite the same way as the book portrays its characters.  Oh well, it was still a good movie.

Planning on watching Charmed with some friends this weekend.  I bought the first season, another friend has the second and the final seasons, so we're going to start watching the first season and in the meantime look for the other seasons.  We're Charmed lovers...

The homefront is not good these days.  My boyfriend continues to disappoint me and now i'm starting to wonder if my expectations are set too high.  It could be, but my main concern is that I am not happy and I need to do something about that.  I'm trying to let him know, but he has avoided conversing with me for about three days now, so i'm not sure how i'm going to get his attention long enough to let him know that i'm having issues.  My friend thinks that I come across as intimidating because I am too much of a logical thinker and I want answers right now and all that.  But i'm tired of treating him gingerly so that his feelings don't get hurt.  It just can't always be about what's best for him.

So yesterday was my curling night.  You know, I really do suck at curling.  I'm trying to find a polite and respectful way of telling my teammates that there is no possible way I am going to put myself through this next year.  My biggest complaint to date is that I can't hear anything!  I'm so horribly deaf out on the rink, everyone's voices gets inter-mingled and I can't pick out a conversation to save my life!  If I hear sweep, I sweep, and then I realize afterwards that the voice I heard was three sheets over!  Oy.  Anyways, even without the hearing impairment, I still suck at curling.  And.  Really.  Let's face it - I don't actually care all that much about getting any better, either.  I just don't.  But that's not polite and respectful, so i'll have to keep thinking about how to break it to my teammates.

I drank a litre of water yesterday.  It's a good start and i'm hoping that eventually we can work ourselves up to three litres, but we'll see about that.  I'm doing this with the same friend that has agreed to run with me in August.  We're taking things slowly and i'm okay with that because i'm in no rush lately... literally... I was late to curling last night and late to work this morning because I couldn't get my lazy butt to move around the house fast enough... so it's okay that I don't have to work too hard to drink so much water.  Yes, i'm okay with that.  Yes, i'm babbling.

My period is not hurting as much as usual (knock on wood).  I wonder if it's because I was taking Advil for about three days before I got my period... hmmn.  It could be, because I don't know what else it could be.  I'm still trying to find out about an alternative health centre so I can get a blood analysis done.  I just want to feel normal for more than a few consecutive days!  Too much to ask?  Maybe.

I just erased a big, honking entry.  Grrrr...

Well, let's re-iterate (although in not so quite a lengthy conversation):

Mother Nature has blessed me with my period and though i'm taking Advil, I can feel the pain trying to assassinate my body.  I hope I can last through it, because I truly don't want to miss anymore work.

New Year's Eve was great.  Went for supper with some friends and then back to our house and played Jenga for most of the rest of the night.  It was a really lovely, relaxing time.  I'm so glad we decided to not go to the bar, because I the next day I heard it was a jungle of people and I hate large crowds.  Good times.  Even the next day, Jan 1st, was a good day!  You guys, i'm on a roll!

Since then i've had my ups and downs, normal everyday life for me.  I started running again on the treadmill, though we are only starting out with three minutes of running to every half an hour of treadmill time.  Plus I am making a chart to track my water intake and a few other things I can't think of right now because my brain just doesn't want to work.  Anyways, the moral of the story is that i'm doing well in 2009 so far.  I count my blessings while I can...

I have to get back to work now - talk soon!

Howdy!  Happy Holidays!

I am still sick, but much better so I count my tiny blessings and am grateful for whatever brief reprieve I can get.  Today I am sneezy and experiencing some head congestion, and am still coughing up lungs left and right.  I am praying that I do not get sick again for New Year's, as I would love to start the new year off in a healthy, happy way!  I remember that I was also this sick last year for New Year's Eve, and look where THAT got me!!

On the 22nd I went home from work at lunchtime, never to return for the rest of the week.  I struggled through my boyfriend's family's christmas gathering that night, then rested until Wednesday night.  On Wednesday night I found my voice again.  Oh, wondrous voice, how I missed thee...

So, during Christmas, gifts were opened, food was eaten (perhaps slightly too much), family and friends were visited.  It is all very blurry and grey for me.  I don't remember any one thing, but I can remember in general how each day went - I was sick, people felt sorry for me, I was spoiled and attended to unnecessarily, I exhausted myself each time I spoke a sentance, I went home nearly falling over from sleep deprivation, I tossed and turned all night, and I spent a good chunk of my time reading and keeping to myself.  BAH-HUMBUG!

Anyways, there isn't much more to tell about my holiday experience, really it was very dull and boring.  We plan to go out with friends on New Year's Eve, so that may be a little more exciting to hear about.

I am making plans to get a blood analysis done in the new year.  I will do almost anything to have this done.  It's all I can think to do, since i've been sick so much.  Even better, my period is coming due in about three more days and i'll probably be sick again.  Joy.

On a happier note (am I going on random tangents in this entry?  it sort of feels that way), I was given an art case for christmas that holds unimaginable opportunities - acrylic paint, pastels, pencils, blending instruments, brushes, etc.  The opportunities are endless.  Well, right now they're limited, actually, because the only thing I can paint are pictures of scenery.  I love to sketch though, I love pencil crayons!  I'm such a kindergartner!

Oh my Lord.  It's amazing that I am still in such a good mood (and I say 'good mood' lightly because maybe others might think "really not such a good mood").  I am sick again.  This time, I have a cold.  Or Influenza, laryngitis, or bronchitis.  One of those things.  I'd been sneezing at work for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden developed a sore throat on Thursday morning.  I became quite sick very quickly and went home from work, spending most of my day on the couch, groaning every time a sinus pain coursed behind my eyes.  Claritin didn't work.  Advil didn't work.  Robitussin didn't work, and neither did NyQuil.  The only thing that seemed to ease a bit was my sore throat - and that, of course was a sign that things were about to get much, much worse.

Friday I phoned in sick again because I could hardly breathe.  It was so incredibly dry in the house that I pressured my boyfriend into buying a $200 humidifier.  Five gallons of water and eight hours later, I was feeling slightly better and could lift my head off my pillow to talk.

Saturday, sick.  I tried wrapping christmas presents because I knew I would accomplish nothing else.  It took me over two hours, and it was a horrible nightmare.  I really don't know how I got it done, but i'm really glad I don't have to open any of the gifts I wrapped - they might need scissors to get them open.  I'm sure I was vocally moaning in pain the whole time.  Good thing no one was around to hear me.

Sunday I was hoarse.  My cold had travelled from my sinus to my chest, and I could barely speak a word.  But at least the headache was gone!  I managed to get up and move around, took a shower, did some baking, prepared for work the next day.  This was the first night I attempted to sleep upstairs (heat rises, and the water index does not) and it was not a success.  I woke up every hour, tossing and turning and praying to God I wouldn't have to wake up in this pain in the morning.  Around 3:30 a.m., I grabbed my pillow and went back downstairs to the couch.  Unfortunately, by this time the damage was done.

This morning I fooled myself, thought I felt okay, and got ready for work.  I should've tested my voice but didn't.  It was worse than Sunday, though I had no headache and only a stuffy nose to go with my hoarse throat.  It got worse during the morning and eventually I had to admit defeat.  I could barely talk, having to push my esophagus to its maximum level just to get out a couple of syllables.  It felt like I was yelling all the time, except nothing was coming out!

When I finally decided to come home, I sat on the couch in front of the t.v. and could literally feel my sinuses start to congest all over again.  That stupid headache is back and my head feels as if it weighs 50 pounds.

I tried to make an appointment with a doctor, but they're all booked up.  So, either I live with it and call in sick again tomorrow (and most probably be sick during the holidays), or I head to the hospital's Emergency area and see a doctor there tonight.

I've been sick so much this year, my immune system is probably so weak by now that it's just letting in every single bug, virus, or bacteria it sees.  "Yeah!  Come on in!  There's a party going on in here!"

I am not very pleased with my weight, nor am I with the measurements that i've been taking for the past four months.  I've increased almost three inches in my hips since September.  That's crazy!  How???  Ok, forgettaboutit, let's just move on.

Life is still good, i've managed to continue my good mood even throughout pms and all that jazz.  And that says a lot for me, 'cause i've had so many ups and downs in my moods lately that I don't even know which way is up anymore!  So, there are a couple of things i'm doing and planning, to update you:

- I'm curling on Tuesday nights (about two hours)

- I go to the gym Sunday, Monday and Thursday night to walk on the treadmill - right now, only doing 30 minutes but I do plan to bump this up slightly in the new year or incorporate running into the 30 minutes.

- In February, I am registered for a yoga class on Wednesday nights (one hour)

That's about all I can handle right now, I think.  I like having Friday and Saturday off, although it's seeming like there's always something to do, especially around the holiday time.

My cousin came to visit this past weekend and we went to the gym together.  We both went on the treadmill to walk and then ended up running during the last ten minutes of our 30 minute walk.  I sweated and it felt good!  My knee hurts, but i'm hoping that will go away once it starts to get easier.  Not that i'm planning on running again for a while.  My body weight wouldn't support me in that decision, I don't think!