I knew i'd be kicking myself in the butt if I even mentioned the fact that July would slow down a bit. Gosh! I don't think i've stopped since I wrote my last entry. Yesterday after work I finally just slumped down on the couch and napped. Right after work and for a good couple of hours. Then I ate and went to bed.

Today I have a headache that is progressively getting worse and i'm not in a great mood. And i'm tired again. I'm getting nothing done!!! I hate these phases - and it's always like this for me. A good three weeks of nothing because i'm too drained to even pick up a dirty sock from the floor.

And so much to do - I need to start practicing my runs. I only have until the 26th to ensure I will be able to run this race. Oh, God, when I most need the motivation it totally deserts me! From where do I pull the energy I need???

I received a wonderful gift from above on Monday while playing ball. I *thought* I had just gotten another legcramp (yes, GG, I suffer from legcramps a lot!) but in fact it was closer to a charlie horse. Does everyone know what I mean? Cause I don't know how to explain it. Worse than a leg cramp though, but maybe that's only because i'm so used to leg cramps. Anyhow, so i'm still hurting from that and it's friday already! I can feel it in my lower calf though - it's really pissing me off!!

Oh well. Tonight I plan on doing some writing so will not be partaking in any form of exercise tonight. I also would like to look at getting another digital camera since the one I have now is broken beyond repair and is beyond warranty as well.

Now that it's the end of July, things are starting to slow down for me. It's not always go-go-go, and i'm hoping that will allow me to enjoy what is left of the summer and go into the fall with a calm mind and spirit. I've prioritized things that are most important to me, and i've come up with five altogether. That still might be too many, but we'll go with it for now and see how far I get before I burn out - again! Anyhow, I chose writing, learning and running. The running is obvious and i'm sure i've already mentioned to everyone here that it's important to me to determine what I can and cannot do in regards to running. I've also started to write in the last few years and am finding it to be a lot of fun and is making me open my eyes to certain areas of my life that I didn't realize were even there. The learning part has things to do with music and languages. I'm working on this part of my life, but it is definitely something that I want to embrace.

Breakfast: toast with strawberry jam Morning: yogurt Lunch: soup and a dinner roll Afternoon: mocha and a nutri-grain bar Dinner: possibly eating out due to the digital camera wanting thing.

Later!

Eeeeek, I need some jogging motivation fast!!! I haven't been out since Saturday, and I have to run the 5k on August 26th! Oh boy, I think i'm going to be letting some people down - namely those who have pledged me, like everyone at work plus my family and friends. Geez. I gotta get in the groove - send me some 'get moving' messages - please!!!

Breakfast: whole wheat toast with strawberry jam Morning: yogurt Lunch: salad with ranch dressing Afternoon: mocha, nutri-grain bar After work: another mocha Dinner: whole wheat toast with margarine, iced mocha

I'm so wired off of caffeine right now it's not even funny. I need to eat something too - had to watch a ball game tonight so I didn't make myself any supper. Now i'm pretty hungry. Bad move.

I was feeling so lonely on Sunday, my boyfriend had gone out of town to work and i'd been by myself for days. It was such a beautiful day outside too, so I decided that I was going to go suntanning. I decided on the right spot, and was about ready to take off when I realized that I didn't really have a good bathing suit to take with me. So I picked another location where i'd be able to stop off at a store to pick up a bathing suit. I tell 'ya, all my excuses for not going were being thrown out, one by one! It was great. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a terrible loneliness. It was so horrible that I had to sit down for a minute to wait it out.

I have these problems every now and then where life just seems to be far too overwhelming for me to actually accomplish anything. When I don't have a set schedule to follow, I end up doing nothing and feeling horrible about it. It just doesn't seem to matter what I try, my brain sort of shorts out and thanks for coming out but you can go on back home now.

Now what I did next is a first for me. I called one of my friends to see if she wanted to come with me. I hardly ever invite people to do things with me, so this was definitely something new. I really was desperate! Anyways, thank goodness she was going to the lake too, and we went together. All that sun made me feel 100% better about everything. The next day at work I felt on top of the world and breezed through the day like nothing! So after work I picked up some vitamin D and i'm going to try it out for a few weeks and see if it helps.

Breakfast: whole wheat toast with strawberry jam Morning: yogurt Lunch: tossed salad with ranch dressing Afternoon: nutri-grain bar Dinner: whole wheat pasta, tomato sauce, green peppers and salmon

Total July exercise: 11 hours & 31 minutes

I did good yesterday, ending around 1600 calories for the day. Today i'm hoping for less than that (I'd like to average out around the 1400 mark), but we'll see. If I put limits or restrictions on what I eat then there will be hell to pay later on!

We lost both ball games last night (oy) but we'll be scraping together a team to head into playoffs whether we like it or not, starting Monday of next week. I'm not looking forward to this because I just don't think we're going to have a great team. Oh well, I guess if we get knocked out after the first game, no more worries...

Breakfast: whole wheat toast with strawberry jam Morning: yogurt Lunch: baked potato with beans and grated cheese Afternoon: energy bar Dinner: whole wheat pasta with tuna, green pepper and tomato sauce

I'm doing well on the water, or at least it's a good start! We bought a water cooler a couple days ago so now I don't have the tedious job of filtering all our tap water. It's so much easier to walk over to the cooler and fill up my two liter water jug before work than having to wait until the tap water's filtered and I can fill up my jug!

Tonight's activity: painting Tonight's exercise: 30 minute walk; 5 minute run

Total exercise for July: 7 hours & 15 minutes. That sucks.

We have our last slo-pitch games of the season tonight - a double header she is, on a very warm day. I hope I end well, as I don't really think we'll be much good for playoffs 'cause our team falls apart after tonight.

BF is back at work today, away from the house and i'm hoping that will give me some incentive to get moving. I need to get groceries today (about an hour's worth of work), play two ball games, and pay attention to my dogs! What a night it will be, since I like to be in bed by 10pm.

Yesterday, he enticed me with a banana split and I gave in. I can't believe I gave in! I was on my way, rolling along, having a really good day and he had to bust in on it and ruin everything! Yes, I blamed him. And he laughed at me and said that I could have said I didn't want one. What, and watch you eat yours? Do you have any regard whatsoever?!!!

Breakfast: biscuit and orange juice Morning: large mocha Lunch: salad with chicken breast strips Dinner: whole wheat pasta with shrimp and peppers in tomato sauce

I hope I won't have time to snack. Maybe a cereal bar or some yogurt if I absolutely have to!

My week of vacation was wonderful but last night I was absolutely dreading going back to work. I don't know why but I was sure that I needed another week off!

We had so much family down - they didn't stay with us but they were still around, you know? I find it so draining. I'm really not a social person - not that I don't enjoy a good chat every now and then. I'm more of a one-on-one kind of person, but even then it sucks the energy out of me and i'm ready to be left alone for a few days. And this week, well, even though I had a couple days to myself I continuously felt guilty about not visiting with all this family - so I didn't really enjoy myself.

Anyhow, literally taking a week off is not what I had in mind, but with time off comes a free schedule and that's something else i'm not familiar with. I've learned through the last few years that I need to have a scheduled life in order to get anything done. If I don't write it down, I won't do it. So all the running i'd been doing went *plop* down the toilet, any walking was shot before I even got started due to this or that excuse, and water, salad and whole wheat were nonexistent.

Today i'm back on a schedule and feeling quite awake and aware and have a sense of clarity that i've been missing for a week or so. So i'm back in the race and ready to start working hard again.

Oh, but another week of vacation would be so nice...

Holy crap, I could barely move after ball last night. But it was worth it, we won both games reasonably well and played fairly decent games. The unfortunate part is that a lot of our players that helped us to victory last night probably won't be around during playoffs. Oh well. At least we know we have a good team when everyone comes out!

I have too many things to do today and tomorrow. I don't know where to begin and I don't want to begin. Last day of work today and i'm off tomorrow and all of the next week! Can't wait! Hooray!

Hope you're all having good summers. Aside from the loads of rain we've been getting, it's been decently warm here (average 20-22 degrees - celsius) and I think it will only get warmer (calling for 32 degrees on Friday). Very humid, hard to breathe for those who are not used to such warm, humid weather. But I love it - warm weather of any kind. I'll live with not breathing as well!

Breakfast: eggs and toast, coffee Lunch: turkey sandwich Dinner: chicken and rice Snack: ***chocolate*** (I was trying to hide that from you with the asterisks)

I didn't make it out for dinner on Friday, but we did manage to sneak some rhubarb crumble cake from my mom's place. Very good, but really, really sweet. I guess i'm not used to all these sugary foods anymore. Ha, yeah right.

So I talked to my boyfriend about the lactose-intolerant idea that I had, and he sort of tore that to bits for me. He said that since he's been eating that cereal (Kashi), he's been feeling the same way. So we've decided that it is not the milk, that it's the cereal. And it's probably only the cereal because we eat it for breakfast and lunch, not just breakfast. And usually not just one cup either. So there you go. If we weren't so bull-headed and addicted to munchy foods like this, we wouldn't have a problem.

We play a double header in slo-pitch tonight. That's three hours of ball. You know, if i'm not sick of ball by the time we're done the season, I think I must be crazy. I know there was a reason for contemplating not returning to ball last year, but unfortunately I can't remember it!

I'm not old yet, but man do I feel it.

Run, legcramps, run...

Thanks for your suggestions Donkey and Horn_of_Plenty. Next time I visit the grocery store i'll pick up some soy milk and give it a try. I've tried soy milk before with cereal but for some reason haven't stuck to it. But it was a while ago and maybe my tastebuds have changed since then.

Breakfast: 5 biscotti biscuits (186 cals) Lunch: turkey sandwich on a hot dog bun! (270 cals) Afternoon: veggies and dip (155 cals) Dinner: I might be going out for dinner today, so i'll budget 600-700 calories for that

Total calories = Maximum of 1311