Hello all. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was really good actually. I went jogging, and went to a dance, and watched some fireworks.

food: oh, lord, you don't want to know. Okay. Maybe you do. Pizza for breakfast. Pizza for lunch. Most likely, pizza for dinner. I did have a coffee already as well. I needed it this morning. You know when you have a few drinks and suddenly your willpower is gone? That happened to me, and now i'm stuck with leftovers that are way too good (Greek pizza - yummy feta) to pass up.

We walked home from the dance on Saturday night, and along the way passed some horses. One in particular was standing near the fenceline, so we walked up to pet it. I don't think horses like me too much. Maybe it was the incredible fear I felt whilst being near one, but the sucker ran from me so quickly that I didn't know what he was doing until he was on the other end of the fence. My boyfriend ducked under the fence and brought him back towards me, but you could tell he didn't want to. So I gave him a quick pat and a hug and was on my way. Poor thing probably didn't want us anywhere near him. I mean, really, after a hard day at the track, who wants to be social?!!

woot! *happy dance* thank goodness it's friday!

Took the dog for a walk last night. It was so nice out, even though we had much cooler temperatures. I slung on an extra jacket, put the hood up over my noggin, and rather enjoyed myself. We didn't go to the track, opting instead for the park so that the dog could run around a bit in the fields. I, however, *drum roll* DID jog. In fact, I think I did very well though I have no clue how far I went. Oh, and the red tape I had to cut through to get there! My boyfriend wore sandals (so smart when walking long distances) and after a while started complaining about wanting to return home. I was disgruntled at the thought, as so far I hadn't lifted a foot to jog anywhere. I was going to give in, then thought that my priority doesn't always have to be the well-fare of others. So, thinking that I was compromising, I told him to go home, that i'd continue walking with the dog so that I could get a jog in. Well, he stayed and drifted along beside us, sighing heavily the whole time. Finally I told him that I was going to run, and he kept up to me even in sandals and afterwards seemed much more enjoyable to talk to. The moral of the story is that i'm quite pleased with the fact that I pushed so hard to be able to run. I would never have done that in the early days.

food: coffee, chicken soup, and I might grill something special on the bbq tonight seeing as it's friday and i'm in a great mood.

I was supposed to go to a concert four hours away tonight. A friend's cousin had two tickets and was going to give them to her for free. She has to work tomorrow, so we would have had to drive all the way back home tonight. I was wary of it, but agreed to go. Well, thankfully her cousin had already given the tickets away to someone else. Though it was Billy Idol and I kind of like Billy Idol, i'm happy that it turned out this way. I was not prepared to make the long journey there nor the long one back home. So tonight will be the routine walking of the dog, coffee with the friend I mentioned above, then out for a drink with another friend once she gets off work. I thought perhaps this weekend would be quiet, but it is not to be. Tomorrow is my boyfriend's ball wind-up, Sunday is a mad-dash to get the laundry done and then see the fireworks, and Monday is my ball wind-up. Oi vei.

Have a wonderful weekend all - I wish I could push a bunch of the energy I have today out to y'all so that you could feel just how happy I am that this week is over.

Things are definitely looking up, although it's raining cats and dogs here. I wonder if the effects of Katrina are heading this way because the wind is steadily picking up and I can hear the roof moaning with each gust. This building was only built a few years ago, and well-built I might add, so it must be a strong wind.

food: haha coffee, ham and cheese wrap, leftover chicken and brown rice with cooked veggies.

exercise: well, if it isn't raining, something outside. If it is, i'll have to think of something else. Oh yeah, I have a stationary bike and an elliptical gathering dust downstairs. Now how could I forget about that.

My boyfriend phoned me at work this morning, wanting to use my car today and then suggested that we go out for lunch. Which I agreed to. Then he changed his mind. Well, thanks! I wonder sometimes what he wants/expects out of life. He has such a hard time making a decision and simply shrugs and says he doesn't care. And most of the time he's so hell-bent on saying 'yes' to everyone but me that he totally misses the fact that I feel so left out of his doings. But I guess it's easier to say 'no' to me than it is to say it to anyone else.

In spite of the weather and really feeling under the weather today, i'm in good spirits and am looking forward to the weekend. Everyone have a grand day today!

Ah! The relative's are gone! No more home-cooking!

What with feeling bad about the way i've been acting towards my family, and with them leaving today for home, I decided to stick around and play cards last night. Unfortunately, though I won, it ended up being a late night. The positive side of this is that I ran home afterwards, because it was so late that I didn't want to be walking down the alleys in pitch darkness. So I did get my jogging in, though probably not quite as far as usual. Yesterday's dinner was ribs cooked in a greasy, fatty, delicious marinade with brown rice and cooked veggies. The rice and veggies are what saved me from an easy 1000+ calorie meal. Yikes, you have no idea how happy I am that I don't have to do that again for awhile, but now what?! I will be craving red meat for days on end.

food: coffee (what's with all the coffee lately?), a wrap or a salad for lunch, granola bar. I didn't take anything out for dinner yet, but i'm thinking about chicken breasts with brown rice.

exercise: tonight is the first night where i'm not feeling as if I have to be somewhere. I will not say whether I will make it to the track or not, since I don't always follow the plans I make during the day.

Still quite busy today, still a one-man show. This week will be over long before I realize it!

It's as if a cloud has passed - although it's still partly cloudy I will take what I can get. My boyfriend and I started talking to each other again finally. I know it's a sad situation when we're both so stubborn that we won't even talk to each other, but i'm glad it's over. For now. There's still so many things that are not going well, but I will persevere and eventually these things too shall pass.

food: coffee, ham and cheese wrap, dinner is at grandma's tonight. Last night it was bbq'd steak, potatoes and cooked veggies. I can only imagine what tonight will bring. I've had so much coffee so far today that i'm shaking non-stop.

exercise: I will try to get out of grandma's at a reasonable hour to take the dog outside for a walk.

It's so busy here at work today. My co-worker called in sick and it's a one-man show. I've been on my toes almost the entire day so far, and there's still so much to do. Swamped, but in a good way, so i'm not complaining. Oop, got a shipment in so back to work it is for me. Have a good one today!

Thanks for the comment, BTC. I've only heard that spicy foods speed up your metabolism, I don't actually have it in writing.

I went jogging last night. I was still in a terrible mood and decided to get out of the house for a while. I took the dog with me, and things went from bad to worse. He wouldn't stop trying to knock me over and nip at my pants while I ran! I didn't even make it a full lap before collapsing on the ground in tears. My goodness, it doesn't take much these days. Anyways, I got pissy and walked him home, then drove back to the track. I wasn't going to, but I knew that if I could just get there and do it I would feel better. So once I got back to the track, I jogged two more laps, then walked one, then jogged another lap and went home. I only felt a bit of chest pain once I stopped, but my lungs and heart were hammering so hard I felt I shouldn't keep going. I will be back out there today.

Tonight I have a hot tub party to attend. I don't want to go because these are my boyfriend's friends and because of what's been happening lately I just don't want to have to put on a happy face and pretend i'm having a good time. I'm avoiding people like they have the plague right now, but it's the way I want it and therefore so be it!

Have a good weekend all!

Yes, thanks to grandma's wonderful cooking I have gained a bit. Yes, i'm blaming someone else for my problems again.

food: I have a rather large cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I will take it one item at a time.

exercise: What is exercise?

Yesterday it seems I was pushed to my limit and literally cracked. All I wanted to do was sleep and be alone. And that's exactly what I did. You have no idea and don't want to hear about the lengths I went to in order to get that alone time. I think everyone must be angry with me today, but I really don't care.

What I should have done was gone for a nice long walk to the track, then ran a few lengths. But that is not what I did. All I can say is that yesterday was not the most constructive for me, nor was it the most motivating day. In fact, it was so UNmotivating that I simply wasted my night doing nothing.

Today my goal is to head to grandma's to look at a dress from my mother's era that could possibly be re-staged and fitted for me to wear. This might enhance the day just a tiny bit. My goal is to be positive throughout every comment, every look, every heart-stopping objective moment. I am also hoping that not being alone with my boyfriend will be somewhat relaxing. Isn't that sad?

I can feel my patience running thin.

Yesterday was exactly the way I said it would be.

food: i'm going mad. coffee. granola bars. i'm too angry to eat and yet I don't really know why I should be so angry.

exercise: i'm close to giving up on jogging. Everything else just always seems to get in the way. And i'm so exhausted that I can barely breathe properly just sitting here typing. Well, that might be because i'm holding my breath. I do that when frustrated.

Okay, so this week has GOT to get better, right? I mean, I haven't had a really happy entry for a while. I'm fighting with everyone to the point of crying and I don't cry easily and i'm not sure why i'm arguing so much. I was upset yesterday because I felt that my boyfriend wasn't treating me with respect, then he turned something around on me and ended up being the victim. I had to address his problems before he'd address mine, and then it didn't even get to that point because I was so pissed off that I just went to bed. Why is everybody always picking on me?!! *pouty face*

When it comes right down to it, i'm doing this to myself and I need to snap out of it. My life will only be positive if I make it that way and accept absolutely nothing negative. There are two voices in my head arguing this very point at this very moment. The voice of moral, and the lazy little bugger.

I read in a paper yesterday:

Free: puppies. 1/2 cocker spaniel and 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. Parachute for sale: Never Opened. Used Once.

I just cannot seem to catch up on the sleep that I lost on the weekend. Oi vei, help me!

food: leftover tortellini, salad, granola bar, coffee. Dinner at grandma's - the usual steak and potatoes. God help me, this has to stop.

exercise: I want to walk the dog and go for a jog, but cousins will want to play catch with a big air-filled ball in the backyard, or aunts and mothers will want to play cards for three hours in a stuffy, food-smelling kitchen full of baked goods. Or perhaps they will catch my voice dripping with sarcasm and insolence at every sentence flung my way and they'll leave me alone. Okay, that was mean. But quit filling my stomache with heavy, iron-laden foods that will only make me sick! And quit telling me that i'm different, wierd, or not all there because I choose to eat something you'd never dream of eating because it's too healthy! And don't sic your kids after me when i'm not feeling well because you stuffed me with too much food! YES! It IS your fault!

Okay, vent over.

I'm just ignorant and I only care about myself.

I decided to not think about work this weekend, and although I did bring up the fact that i'd had a bad week to my fellow cabin-dwellers, I did not elaborate on it. It was a good weekend all in all, and this morning i'm feeling quite sore from all the bacci-ball that was played.

food: granola bar, salad, granola bar, turkey pastrami sandwich if I remember to buy bread after work.

exercise: I have a meeting tonight so unless we take the dog for a walk afterwards, there won't be much exercise. Besides, if you asked me right now i'd tell you to go where the sun don't shine because I can barely move. I'm looking more and more like a penguin, waddling through the hallways trying not to over exert. Over exert! Ha, more like trying not to move even the smallest of muscles, for example, my fingers. Which means that i'm going to stop typing now.