- Tuesday Jul 29, 2008
Seriously? I'm an IDIOT...
I freakin' missed my doctor's appointment. Just went right ahead and forgot all about it.
I was going to be all 'grumpy' again today (no offense, grumpy) and was forming my first grump-fest sentence as I was logging on, but then I read the comments I got from yesterday's post. And decided. Maybe. JUST maybe. I'm being a little over-dramatic. Just so everyone is aware, MOST of the time i'm only being sarcastic. I know it doesn't translate to online journals very well, so I just want you all to know - i'm not gonna hurt anybody, i'm not a vengeful person (most of the time) and I really DO like rainbows and mittons and fluffy white kittens. Those ARE a few of my favorite things. REALLY. So, come on back and read me! Read Me! READ ME!!!!!
I was down for a couple of days with my period. Him and I, we get along like a road runner and a brick wall. We layed in bed together for two straight days while I kept asking him "why?" and he kept replying "'cause I can". "why?" "'cause I can". Jeebers, I could just... oh, right, no more of that. So I made a doctor's appointment for today to a: get my test results, and b: get birth control. Enough of this malarky. I was in so much pain I think I cried for about four hours straight. Ok, so I cry easily. Not the point! Moral of the story - NO ONE should have to be in so much pain! Actually, I thought I was just being a baby until last night when I got my legs waxed. It didn't hurt. Not one bit (ok, maybe ONE bit). It was actually... a nice change.
So I didn't do any running yet. My big 500 mile goal is still looming in front of me, but i'll work at it slowly and chip away until it gets a little more exciting when i'm only, say... 200 miles away. Okay, so, lots to look forward to... oh, quit with the sarcasm legcramps, GEEZ.
Slo-pitch playoffs are on right now, we got rained out yesterday so we're trying again today (hopefully it doesn't rain, but the forecast shows rain) and probably will have to play tomorrow night as well. Last night our ball diamond was hit with lightening. It was pretty scary - it sort of forked out and hit the posts on the fence or something, along with a HUGE crashing sound. I nearly went deaf but since i'm almost already deaf it didn't really make much of a difference. At the same time lightening hit again on the other side of the diamond, even closer to us. Yup. Just call me the storm chaser. Actually, call me the 'gets chased by storms' girl. That's more like it. Those suckers just don't LIKE me for some reason.
- Monday Jul 28, 2008
i'm tired and sick and...
RrrOWwRrrrrrrrrr fghh fgh gh huh
somebody's gonna get a-hurt real bad.
- Thursday Jul 24, 2008
Yaaaawwwwwwn. I'm tired. It's soooo humid here, seriously, i'm melting because, you know, i'm made of sugar and it's TOOOO humid!!!!
I. uh. hmn. geez. take deep breath. okay. here we go. WEIGHED MYSELF THIS MORNING.
you don't wanna know. i surely didn't wanna know. i'm not telling. forget it. never in a million years. i want to cry, but instead i'm laughing hysterically. 'cause, like, it's soooooo funnnnnniieee. NOT.
We had slo-pitch tonight and they stuck me on first base again. I played like crap though, so I pulled myself after a few innings and sat on the bench feeling sorry for myself. That didn't last long, though (WOW. really? really.) and I asked to be put out field so that I could run a bit. And I did. Run, that is. Good. Because, apparently, I need to lose a few (zillion) pounds. I should figure out exactly how many miles I would need to run to lose the weight that very mysteriously (or not) appeared to me this morning on the scale. I should do that. But not right now. RIGHT now i'm drowing in self-pity and MAN, do I KNOW how to do that. You GO, girl. yea. okay.
Okay, so i'm seriously going to figure that out. and i'll let you know how that goes. i'm gonna do it now. because, chances are, it'll make me want to run tomorrow. and. i need that, 'cause *insert seventh sentence in above paragraph here*. so yea.
k. so. i checked it out.
I need to run 500 miles to lose the extra weight. Holy crap. there's no way. NO WAY, dude! that would take me ten years! schlakalak, maybe even fifteen years! crazy-ness! HA! hysterical laughing happening again. ooooohh i'm going crazy. loooooozing my mind. fphluffug.
big sigh. k. first four miles tomorrow then. here we go.
- Wednesday Jul 23, 2008
Okay, so the not running thing was really starting to get to me, so I decided that all that was going to change tonight. I mapped out a route (not really) and included a stop halfway through at a convenience store for gatorade. Then a friend called wanting help with some computer problems he was having, so I detoured and stopped there as well. Two stops along the way - that should have been plenty, but remember - I hadn't run in a long time and my body sure wasn't pleased with any of my hair-brained schemes.
So off I went, walking at the start and not timing myself until I thought - heck, why not? Let's put the Garmin forerunner to work and time it all (yes, i'm a nerd and bought a Garmin forerunner watch to time my runs - or lack thereof). I'm pretty sure I heard it laughing at me at different points in my "run". These are my splits:
Mile 1: 14:57
Mile 2: 14:08
last .5: 8:02
Yep. Pretty bad. I'm not at all pleased with these results, but i'm hoping to shame myself into doing better next time by letting you all in on exactly how slowly I "run". Y'all could probably walk that fast. Heck, I could probably walk faster than I run.
Oh well, hey??? I RAN, didn't I??? Didn't I at least TRY??? Yea, so maybe I ended up CRAWLING part of the way, but I did it, right?? Sure, I lost about 15 pounds of sweat, SO WHAT? That's a GOOD thing, okay? Isn't it?
Ignore me. I'm in a sarcastic, negative mood and I like to bash myself sometimes. I'll get over it. Really. Eventually.
- Wednesday Jul 23, 2008
So my boyfriend's buddy from the states is in town for a couple of weeks, visiting friends and family and having a much-needed holiday. He was over last night for a bit before the two boys went out to play pool. Wow, drama just follows this guy wherever he goes. It's amazing what he's been through in just the past few days. Incredible. I would hate his life, i'm serious. Car accidents, stopped by cops, harassed by bar-dwellers and their managers, the list goes on!!
It rained hard last night and I think we're in for another storm today. When I look outside it looks like it should be around 3pm, and it's actually 9am. It's very humid and dark out there.
I'm drinking water like crazy today. I've already had at least a litre of water. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was thirsty as soon as I woke up this morning and i've been downing the stuff ever since. I'm also starting to not feel well. I think maybe I need coffee. See people??? This is what happens when you become addicted to something!
I had a salt binge last night, maybe that has something to do with needing all the water today. I'm very disappointed because otherwise the day was great and I even made dinner and it was healthy and everything!! Well, the only thing to do is get over it and move on.
I haven't run for such a long time now that i've forgotten how.
- Monday Jul 21, 2008
So i'm still feeling the effects of the pulled muscle/pinched nerve/whatever the heck happened to my back on Wednesday night, although it is much better now and I don't need any aides (a.k.a. muscle relaxants) to get me through the day. Just wait, now that I said that *out loud*, it'll probably get worse today. I was taking Robaxacet, simply because I was NOT planning on going to the doctor (just so he can tell me that I need a chiropractor?????) and I had no clue what a good over-the-counter drug would be for my particular ailment. It seemed to work and dull the pain.
I am burnt from sitting around watching fastball yesterday. Oh, so painfully burnt. This time it was from the sun and not the wind. I really should invest in an umbrella to ward off some of those harsh rays. My whole right side is burnt from head to wrist. Wearing black pants certainly didn't help reflect the sun, duh legcramps!!
My boyfriend's team won 2nd at provincials yesterday. Last night they lost out in the finals, putting them in 2nd place. This secures the team a spot at Westerns, however they will have to pay their own way. If they would have won provincials their expenses to Westerns would have been paid. Oh well! So they are thinking about still going to Westerns. That is the second week of August. NAFA is the third week in August. NAFA is in Mentanka, Minnesota this year. I don't know if I spelled that correctly, but it's a good 7 or 8 hour drive for us. My boyfriend is taking off a lot of work time to go to all these tournaments. Not that i'm against it - I always try to support whatever he's doing. It's just a hard time for us right now. I'm the one paying the bills, cleaning house, doing yardwork, taking care of the dogs while he goes to fastball games. Maybe i'm jealous (yes, that's probably it) but it would be nice to have a little more help than that, especially since he promised me that we would be working on the house renovations by now. Ah, men and their empty promises... heehee.
I like watching fastball though, so i'm not going to complain any further. It gives me an excuse to not exercise, wouldn't you like it too?!!!
- Friday Jul 18, 2008
Oh, what a silly week it's been.
After slo-pitch on Wednesday night (we didn't have enough people show up and had to forfeit the game - this is incredibly discouraging and pisses me off, big ball fanatic that I am), we got home and I immediately sat down on the couch. It was a warm, humid evening and it took every ounce of energy I had to move. I noticed when I leaned over the couch that something felt out of place in my lower back. Alas, I seem to never fret over these things, so I just plopped myself down and stayed there for a good 10 minutes or so. When I tried to get up, I couldn't. I managed to drag myself into a semi-standing position and realized that somehow, in some way, I had put my back out. How OLD do you think that made me feel?!!! Geez, it really was very painful and even though this had happened to me before while we were in Scotland, I didn't ever think it would happen again, especially while I was doing absolutely NOTHING!
My sleep that night was good, even though I was in pain. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I felt fine. Until I tried to get out of bed. Here's a first for me: driving myself to the drug store for anything other than ibuprofen (because of TOM). When I do something like this, it scares even myself because I hardly ever will show concern for my own welfare. But I had so much to do that day, and there was no way I was going to get it all done without the help of a muscle relaxant, so I had to give in. Two muscle relaxants later and I was at least able to drive my way around town and complete my errands, 'tho still in a certain amount of pain. At the end of the day, I pulled another first: I made myself an appointment with a chiropractor. Now this is definitely something I just wouldn't do for myself. This time, I even came up with the idea all on my own!! I made the appointment for Friday morning and suffered through the rest of the night.
This morning I woke up and again felt fine until getting out of bed. Although the pain is far less than it was yesterday, it is still there and i'm pissed off!! I think i've been pissed off all week so far!! Anyhow, I went to the chiropractor's and a few crunch cracks later I thought I was healed. Not to be. Of course, the half hour drive home probably didn't help. So it's a little better, let's not fib. However, there's no way in you-know-where I would ever be able to throw a ball, hit a ball, or run around. That is simply not acceptable and i'm having a very tough time dealing with this. Not that throwing, hitting and running is forecasted in my near future anyways, but you know what I mean. Don't you???
- Wednesday Jul 16, 2008
What follows is exclusive coverage of yet another of legcramp's notorious excuses for not running:
When I got home from work I called my grandma to talk to her about the paperwork we needed to do and set up a time when we could get together to complete it, then I checked facebook quickly for some new pics that my boyfriend's sister was supposed to be adding (they weren't there yet). Soon after my boyfriend got home, we cooked up some BBQ hotdogs and I had brown rice on the side, then we suited up the dogs and took them for a walk. It was a glorious walk, really. We went through some of the residential streets, which is something we don't do all that often because we can't take the dogs off their leashes hence they don't get enough exercise. Anyways, we did manage to find some open areas for them to run around in. It's hard to find any open areas in town anymore besides the parks because our real estate is really booming and land is being bought up left right and centre. By the time we got home it was past 9pm, and I didn't feel like running. Actually, not at any time yesterday did I feel like running, but especially not once we were home from the walk. Therefore, I did not run. Again.
It rained here throughout the night and into this morning, making raucous thunder and waking me up. Leaving my reading glasses at my brothers place is proving to be quite painful as the weeks progress - my eyes are so tired and i'm sure there is a film of fog over them or something. I can't really see a thing and am riding on luck to get me through the rest of the day as I have the rest of the week off on holidays, thank goodness!
Tonight is slo-pitch, our last game of the season before playoffs start on Monday. It has gone by much more quickly than in past years - I remember really disliking slo-pitch by this time last year... maybe i've transferred those feelings into fastball :)
Making good decisions today in regards to eating and have decided not to overdo it on the coffee this afternoon. My trusty bottle of water is sitting next to me if I dare get thirsty.
Thanks for your comments yesterday! I am feeling much better today, but still very grateful that there was no serious damage done to the three of us. Still haven't heard from the rest of the team, though, so I hope they're all ok too. It is wonderful to hear from you and know that you are all showing your support. THANKS!!!!
- Tuesday Jul 15, 2008
So I did end up going to the fastball game last night, but all for naught. We got there and the boys warmed up, and then we all realized that the other team wasn't going to show up. Not even one person from the other team showed up. Rude! Then they decided to have a scrub match, so us girls settled in on the bleachers. At one point I looked behind me at the sky, and noticed a really dark cloud creating gusto and moving pretty quickly toward us. I mentioned it to one of the girls sitting beside me and from then on, we watched the sky instead of the game!
The cloud slowly kept creeping towards us, then started to "spread its wings" so to speak and soon the dark mass was spread out across the sky. Just below this cloud were two or three smaller clouds which seemed to be rolling into each other and spinning downwards. I took some pictures and even the pictures give me the creeps and send chills down my spine. One of the players came up on the bleachers to talk to his wife, and as he was talking he looked towards the clouds, then suddenly stopped and stared. Then he said "that looks like a funnel cloud" and told his son to start their vehicle, just in case.
At one point, the "funnel" cloud looked like it was really going to dip and turn into a tornado, and that's when I really started to panic. Until that point, I was being an idiot and taking pictures to show my friends later. It was crazy. At the same time I saw that cloud dip down to the ground, I noticed the tree line (and the wind). The trees were bending to an almost 90 degree angle due to the wind, and rocking back and forth. At that moment, every player started to burn it back to the dugout. We retrieved our purses and children, and headed off towards the cars to head home. I hadn't even reached the car when it started to hail.
We took off from the ballfield, not able to see a thing because of the hail. At some point on the highway we'd gotten ahead of the storm so my boyfriend pulled over and checked out his car for damage. His brother sat in the backseat, looking out the back window while my boyfriend checked the front hood. Suddenly his brother yelled out "get back in the car! GET BACK IN THE CAR!" When we turned his way, we could see a WALL of storm coming towards us, about 1/4 of a mile away. We could actually SEE IT moving towards us. We booted home, I tell 'ya!!!
The wheather channel promised our worried friends that the storm was moving away from us, down into the valley. But the three of us, we have a different story to tell. If you would have been there with us, you'd still be freaked out. I am.
- Monday Jul 14, 2008
The BBQ was cancelled and rescheduled for Sunday due to poor weather conditions, and yet it still poured on us on Sunday night as we got caught in the middle of a pretty bad storm.
I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and I wonder sometimes why I have to make things so difficult. I can't learn to let go of things, they just fester and fester until they're rotting and broken and can't be fixed. I don't know why I have these feelings of anxiety so much - I really don't have a lot that should be on my mind, though it feels as though I am carrying the weight of the world. And the problem is that I can't focus on one thing at a time to relax the weight because I can't pick it out of my mind. Does that make sense? There seems to be a lot going on up there, but nothing I can literally pinpoint and work on. I feel lost and I don't have the proper resources to cope with that. At least I am not also depressed and even though i'm feeling swamped I think I am learning to be okay with that (or i'm just trying to ignore it).
My boyfriend has the first game of fastball playoffs tonight. I think I will probably end up going. It's a good excuse to get out of doing any exercise. If I DID exercise I would probably feel less anxious about things. If I ate less ice cream, that would probably help as well.
Why do we sabotage ourselves???