- Friday Jan 30, 2009
Last night wasn't a very good night. I guess I knew it was bound to happen, but I think we all hope that the good times will never end, right?! My boyfriend did some things that didn't make me feel too good about where we were at in our relationship. We are on very thin ice, and I feel that efforts need to be made to ensure we are building towards more solid ground for the future, and I felt that those efforts were only being made by myself. I couldn't talk to him last night (I wasn't emotionally stable enough), but plan to tonight, so here's to hoping that being able to stick up for myself even in the smallest of situations.
Not much else planned for today, really can't talk too much as it's Friday and i'm a little busy today. Hope you all have a great weekend!
- Thursday Jan 29, 2009
So I believe we've decided on what to do for our date night this week. I believe we are going to go rock climbing! Yay! That should be so much fun... followed by a nice supper out and comfortable conversation during the drive home (we have to drive into the city to do this, and it's going to be three hours of driving time altogether, but will hopefully be worth it).
I skipped the gym last night in leiu of driving into the larger centre closest to our town so that I could wash my vehicle. I took a friend with me, and we did our grocery shopping, then went to the car wash. As luck would have it, there was a sign in front of the car wash saying "Car Wash Temporarily Unavailable... sorry for any inconvenience". Well. Considering I had driven half an hour for the sole purpose of cleaning my vehicle, it was a bit of an inconvenience. I dreamed for a moment of walking into the station spouting obscene and vulgar words out of my mouth, but decided against it, as it wasn't really as big of a deal as I had initially let on. Anyways, we got our groceries and stopped for a bite to eat. I ordered a vegetarian pasta dish and scooped half of it into a take-away container right away. I ate almost all of my salad (until the waitress came to take it away from me, in fact) and the only bad thing I had was the pop I drank instead of water. I hang my head in shame for that, especially after promising that I wouldn't...
I'm really tired right now, just waiting out the end of the workday so that I can go home and... I don't know... sleep maybe?
- Wednesday Jan 28, 2009
Ok, so I managed to struggle through the day yesterday, and I guess it wasn't really all that horrible like I tried to lead you to believe. It was not bad, actually. I could have dropped the curling, but it did give me a chance to socialize a bit so i'm looking on the brighter side. And, as i've been reminded, there are people who are in a much darker place right now than I, so I will be grateful for where I am and what I have, and hold those who are less fortunate in my everyday prayers.
I had a wonderful breakfast this morning:
1/2 banana, 2 strawberries, 6 blueberries, 2 pieces of 60% whole wheat texas toast with light, lactose-free margarine and peanut butter, and 2 fried eggs.
Picked up a large mocha on my way to work, and drank the last 1/2 bottle of Pepsi (I promise I won't buy another one today).
Lunch will be leftover fish n'chips.
Then I am getting my hair colored after work, so I told my boyfriend if he gets home before me and is hungry he should throw the last frozen pizza in the freezer into the oven because that was my plan for tonight anyways. I will need to buy more groceries tonight: I need bread, eggs, milk, orange juice, and some other things I wrote down.
A full day, but that means it will pass quickly and before we know it, the weekend will be here again! I can't wait, as it's my turn to think of an outing for date night!!! Any ideas?
- Tuesday Jan 27, 2009
Well, I am still horking up a lung everytime I need to let out a little cough, and i'm still sneezing and sniffling and just generally forcing everyone to feel sorry for me. I did take Tylenol Cold & Flu, all weekend, and i'm sure it helped me to not be more sick than I was, but I was still sick. I tried to nap on Saturday, but that didn't work. I drank 4 litres of orange juice and the same in water. I ate lots of fruit. I sucked on throat drops and rubbed Vicks Vaporub into my chest at almost every opportunity. I've never been so hell-bent on getting over a virus. And now. I'm tired. I'm so tired from trying so hard to get over this "thing" that i'll end up giving in and letting it ripple through me, leaving catastrophic damage in its' wake. Yes, i'm so....exaggerating, but the end result is the same - i'm not getting better and this is going to be another terrible start to another terrible year. These are the things that go through my mind, people... paranoia really sucks.
If I could only breathe properly and think clearly, I could get back into the swing of going to the gym and watching what I eat. I'm so tired!! sob story.
You know what the icing on the cake is?? I have to curl tonight. My God, the pity-party just never ends, does it?
- Friday Jan 23, 2009
I have not been doing a whole lot lately. Let's see... on Tuesday we discovered that our plumbing was plugged up and we couldn't drain water without seeing it come back up into the basement. I took the whole evening off, I can't remember what I did, but it wasn't much. Wednesday the plumbing still wasn't fixed and my boyfriend was sick as a dog from this stupid flu virus that held onto me for a couple of weeks near christmas. My friend was also not feeling well, so we skipped the gym and I stayed at home and asked my boyfriend every few minutes if he was feeling better yet. Yesterday they finally came to fix our plumbing issues, and we were again able to drain water without worrying about where it was going. My friend still was not feeling well and I was starting to cough and sneeze. My boyfriend was feeling better and had started to move around and do a few things. I decided to skip the gym again and watched a movie laying on the couch instead.
This morning I woke up and really wished I hadn't. For some reason, mother nature figured me having the flu for two weeks just wasn't long enough. I have officially caught whatever my friend and my boyfriend had, and am sneezing about 10 times per minute, which isn't as much fun as it might sound like. I am also coughing and my throat is quite sore and scratchy. After work today I think I will drive straight to the drug store and buy myself some Tylenol Flu medication. Screw this riding it out stuff, I have things to do and I don't want to be sick this weekend.
My boyfriend and I are going out on a date tonight, we are going to go for supper then out to the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. I am looking forward to it and i'm hoping that my silly cold will not get in the way of all the hand-holding that could possibly be going on in the dark theatre... hahaha.
So. Lots of Vitamin C, orange juice, water, and Tylenol Flu after work. Flu, i'm going to beat you this time.
- Tuesday Jan 20, 2009
Is it ever busy at work today. I was off yesterday, so today i'm playing a game of 'catch-up' and, well, let's just say i'm not winning...
Chicken salad tonight for supper, maybe with some garlic bread but that means i'll have to hit up the grocery store after work and i'm TIRED, people. I could just crawl underneath my desk and go right to sleep. But I guess I should go because I need peppers and onions and cheese as well, otherwise it just wouldn't be chicken salad. Maybe I should grab a bottle of wine, too. A glass of wine with supper. Mmmn.
My weekend was good but not quite relaxing, especially when you've got two people (my boyfriend and his sister) who are very high-energy and are constantly either a) doing something, or b) worrying about doing something. Other than that it was great, even the aptly named 'sharing circle' over Sunday night dinner when we all aired our frustrations in a quick 60 minute conversation. Oh well. It's gotta happen sometimes, right?! At least this way, I knew that I wasn't the only one going through relationship issues, and my boyfriend's sister became aware that her big brother wasn't perfect. Although it wasn't my intent to have her find that out, I wasn't exactly displeased that she agreed with my arguments over some of the issues my boyfriend and I are having. Feels good to have someone on your side, you know?
I may go to the gym tonight, may do some tobogganing, may not do anything at all. I have the night off from curling (YEE-HAW!), so I might just take advantage of that and do my laundry instead.
- Friday Jan 16, 2009
On Wednesday night I went to a community meeting regarding setting up a dog park in our town. I am very hopeful that this is something we will be able to do, as I believe it is very important to the health of the community as a whole and will benefit both dogs and their owners in healthy participation in community events. We've never been able to hold such functions as dog shows/events, fundraisers for humane societies, hosting training sessions, etc. so it will definitely be a large boost for the town and its residents. I'm excited about it, but at the same time i'm hoping that the committee won't overload us with work in regards to it! I want to be a part of this great benefit to the community - just not at the expense of my frugal recreational time! I'm confident that it will work out though, somehow.
My boyfriend and I are taking a trip this weekend to visit his sister, so i'm not sure how much I will be able to exercise. That bums me out a little, but I know when I get back that my friend will not let me waver any longer on the threshold of healthy living! Thank goodness for friends!
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
- Tuesday Jan 13, 2009
After the eggs and toast for breakfast yesterday, I followed up with another 2 slices of toast for lunch and Shepard's Pie (spelling? wrong? probably) for dinner. I loaded the pie with every type of vegetable in the house, aside from mushrooms, which, thinking about it now would have been pretty darn yummy...
Drank my quota of water last night, finishing the last .5 liter at the gym. Tonight we upped our minutes to 4 1/2 minutes jogged per 30 minutes of treadmill time. I know, it's not much, but we're working on it. It used to be only 3 minutes, so we're doing a lot better!
Life at home is getting better each day, although I am an emotional wreck most of the time and it doesn't take much for me to change emotions and moods. Oh well, I am grateful as each day ends and I look forward to spending the nights with my boyfriend, so that is definitely on the brighter side of things...
- Monday Jan 12, 2009
Oh my God. If this is what happens everytime I decide to own up to my mistakes and unhealthy habits, then I am going to live in a hut all by myself for the rest of my life. No, really. Really.
I confronted my boyfriend on Friday night and this weekend has been the worst in my life. Maybe. Close to the worst anyways. For the first hour of the conversation, we had both decided that this wasn't what we wanted and we didn't want to salvage it or make any effort to repair the destruction. We were happy (not really, but you know what I mean) to cut our losses and move on. We found that we had started to make plans to move apart even before having this conversation. It seemed like a cut and dry argument - there wasn't anything to fight over. Then the blood started leaking out of the cracks in the walls. Harsh words were spoken but truth prevailed and we both needed to hear it. Aha, we weren't ready to call it quits just yet. There were some major issues we needed to deal with, but could we make the effort to pull it together long enough to salvage what we'd spent five years destroying?
End result: we have some issues to deal with; issues that are huge and scary and i'm not sure if we can get through them. The fortunate thing is that we're both willing to try. If we can communicate with each other instead of wasting the others' time, we might actually have a shot. We'll see, and take it one day at a time, and accept that whatever we decide it will be the right decision for us - together or apart.
I went to the gym last night and did my treadmill workout. I need to start upping the number of minutes that I run - maybe next week i'll start on that. I had a terrible stress-related headache before going to the gym, but felt so much better afterwards.
I got groceries yesterday too, and picked up a lot of good foods - now I just have to cook and prepare them and I should be able to eat nothing but healthy foods this week! Today I had eggs and toast for breakfast, and brought strawberries and bananas to work to snack on this afternoon because that's usually when I get the most hungry! No excuses today!!
- Friday Jan 09, 2009
Not much new to report today... I haven't really done anything in the past two days that would be beneficial to my health. Just being honest :}
However, I am writing down what I eat and trying hard to keep drinking water and I think that's an honorable start, no?! We haven't been back to the gym for a few days, planning on going tonight and I think it is most likely to happen since my friend will not let us slide.
I watched 'Twilight' last night. Pretty good, I had already read the book so was a little disappointed as usual that the movie didn't turn out quite the same way as the book portrays its characters. Oh well, it was still a good movie.
Planning on watching Charmed with some friends this weekend. I bought the first season, another friend has the second and the final seasons, so we're going to start watching the first season and in the meantime look for the other seasons. We're Charmed lovers...
The homefront is not good these days. My boyfriend continues to disappoint me and now i'm starting to wonder if my expectations are set too high. It could be, but my main concern is that I am not happy and I need to do something about that. I'm trying to let him know, but he has avoided conversing with me for about three days now, so i'm not sure how i'm going to get his attention long enough to let him know that i'm having issues. My friend thinks that I come across as intimidating because I am too much of a logical thinker and I want answers right now and all that. But i'm tired of treating him gingerly so that his feelings don't get hurt. It just can't always be about what's best for him.