- Friday Oct 05, 2007
Well, crap, didn't I tell you this would happen???!
After all my lovely comments yesterday about how good life was, reality just had to swoop down and knock me over the head. I definitely jinxed myself by saying anything at all about how well things were going.
So, my question to pose to the world today is: Why do some people think it's fun to talk crap about others? Why is it a goal for some to ruin other people's lives? Tell me all you want about how to turn the other cheek; tell me they're only jealous; tell me it doesn't matter what people think; tell me any of that and i'll agree with you - only, right now, it doesn't really matter much. Because I can't turn the other cheek or stop caring about what people say. Because no matter how hard I try, they recklessly plow on and continue to say dirty rotten sticking things. No matter how much I ignore them (and you never really succeed in ignoring them) I can't actually stop them from doing crappy things like this over and over again. I've had enough of discompassionate people, enough of gabby hazes (gossipers), enough of people in general altogether. I've just had ENOUGH!!
Oh, but carry on little grasshopper, all's well that ends well, keep your chin up, grin and bear it, good things come to those who wait.
Sometimes, it's all just....crap. And, yes, maybe I need some counselling. I know I can't control the world. Just, for about three months, can I not have people saying mean things about me, my friends and my family? Please, just for three months?
Sometimes I hate small towns.
total exercise for october - 3 hours, 45 minutes
- Thursday Oct 04, 2007
I'm still doing well - still up there on that high cloud and i'm trying hard to not change anything so that I can actually stay there for more than a week. Watch, i've probably jinxed myself now... tomorrow i'll journal telling everyone how much my life sucks!
Eating is good, except on the weekend when I went to a Turkey Fry! Once I started eating the homemade buns, it was very hard to stop. Eventually I did, but my dog didn't. He got into a 1/2 dozen homemade buns before we caught him, and he even ate the plastic bag it came in! I tell 'ya, it sure didn't look pretty the next day... poor puppy. Anyways, other than that i've done well with eating, and with exercise too.
I started a Tai Chi class every Tuesday. So on that day I have two hours of classes (Tai Chi and kickboxing), but it's worth a try because it's the only day the Tai Chi is offered and I don't want to give up a kickboxing class. The first class was great - it's really a series of poses and movements, an art form. Really interesting so far. But my back and hips were killing me afterwards, and I still had to get through the kickboxing class! But I made it, huffing and puffing and sweating like a pig or something else that sweats really, really lots.
Last night we went for a walk for an hour through the park - very nice night for it and I guess we have to squeeze in as much outside time as we can before winter comes. And, it'll come fast - right when we're looking the other way.
Thanks for all of your comments! I will definitely research how my diet can improve my mood. Take care all!
- Wednesday Sep 26, 2007
I swear i'm bi-polar or something. I so fit in with the 'really high highs and really low lows' crowd. But the highs, they're nice...
Anyhow, as assumed above, once I started feeling better I started feeling really good. And i'm still up there. I'm not sure what i've changed, but will start to mark down the days i'm feeling good and the ones i'm not. Maybe diet has something to do with it?? I'm watching that much more closely now as well as ensuring i'm working out regularly.
As most have already found out, i'm severly lacking in fruits and vegetables. I just can't seem to fit them in anywhere - even though I like them. I guess I just like fries and bread far more... I have now begun a diet regime that includes a cup of fruit salad each afternoon. Yay me! We'll work on the veggies sometime down the road - baby steps!! Although last night I made shrimp stir-fry with all colours of peppers and vegetable sauce. Yay me again!
Now that i'm writing things down in my journal again, I will be able to start tracking exercise as well. I still want to track how many hours and minutes I do each month, but was finding it too difficult if i'm not in the habit of writing it down everyday.
- quitting just means being able to try again -
- Thursday Sep 20, 2007
Blah, i'm sick today and I even missed work (or about five hours of it, anyways). So i'm just sitting around because i've gotten way too much sleep already and I don't know what else to do because....i'm sick!
I went absolutely psychotic today with food. When I weighed myself on Monday morning I was so upset about not getting anywhere, and here I go again. This coming Monday I will be just as upset as last Monday. Argh. Anyhow, eating and drinking lots of water was the only thing that kept me happy and in a decently good mood. I don't know what's with the water - usually when i'm sick water is the last thing i'm craving. But it's a good thing, so I won't question it too much.
I will miss kickboxing class tonight and that upsets me. Not because I need the exercise (although I do) or because i'm not following 'The Plan', but because I really like the class and don't want to miss out on any part of it! I bet my instructor would love to hear that...
Peanut butter sandwiches and fast food. Lord, love a duck.
- Friday Sep 14, 2007
Another kickboxing class came and went last night. It was good, although I was glad that it wasn't quite as hard-core cardio as the past classes have been. It was nice to get a bit of a break there, but we did learn a lot - four basic kicks and four basic punches - and started putting them together using focus guards. Quite a bit of fun, I have to say, especially when I just about got cracked in the head by my partner who must not have been watching where she was punching. Yikes. Focus!
Anyhow, i'm off today and have been lazing the day away but i'm quite alright with that and plan to do same for the rest of the day as well. Maybe some reading here and there, but mostly just lounging and being a lazy bum. They always say you should do the things you're naturally good at.
So the weekend will probably fly by and it will be Tuesday again before I know it and probably before I get on here with another update. So i'll just say it now...yep...dreading the next kickboxing class already. It's a good thing they're fun and even though I dread them I also look forward to them. That's a big change from other aerobics classes. This one is definitely more disciplined, and from experience i've realized that discipline is exactly the thing I need. I should have joined the army.
- Tuesday Sep 11, 2007
So I continue weighing myself each Monday morning, with little result. I have to ask myself what i'm doing wrong. And my self says back to me "Face it, you really aren't trying very hard. You think joining a kickboxing class will be enough? You think the odd run every week is going to be enough? You need to back off of those bread and butter binges girl! Ya need ta CONTROL yourself!"
After pile-driving through the muffins in about three days (and I made a lot of muffins), I made even more. And this time I dropped the low fat bran in favor of double double chocolate. Add to that the daily breakfasts of eggs and bagels and cheese, and mochas coming out my ying-yang, there you have it. And all said while munching on a chocolate bar!!! Seriously, I don't even know where my head's at anymore!
The first kickboxing class came and went, and I was sore for about three days afterwards. Just goes to show how many muscles I was NOT using. I think it must have been every single one of 'em, 'cause they ALL hurt. Another class tonight and i'm dreading it already. The instructor sure knows the boot camp basics...
What else...my boyfriend's mother insinuated that I was ugly (she was joking, but the insult still reverberates...i'm not good with criticism even if it's false), I am now officially part of the 'old' group at birthday party suppers (you know, two separate groups - the young people and the old people), and i'm really starting to not like my job (or the people I work with, one of the two).
Sometimes I wish I could just be happy with what I have and stop thinking it could be so much better. Sure, ignorance is bliss, but it would be best if I didn't have to be in the situation in the first place. Then I wouldn't know any better. Okay, quit blubbering.
Wallyball might be starting up again. There's another good fat-burner.
- Monday Sep 03, 2007
Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! Even though I only ran the 5k race I feel like i've accomplished a lot and i'm ready for the next hurdle life throws at me.
It's busy around here and i'm guessing it will stay that way for a few weeks. Work starts again tomorrow and I don't feel like going back. Once you get a couple days off it's really hard to re-motivate yourself to go back to work. Or it is for me, anyways.
So i'm spending the day with some friends, doing some baking (low fat bran muffins and carrot muffins and some self-indulgent chocolate muffins), and putzing around the house with other things like laundry and cleaning. It's a good day - sunny outside and I feel somewhat relaxed so that's good.
I made a terrible mistake and weighed myself the other day. Oy! I didn't think i'd ever see that number again. I just can't even bring myself to admit what it was - but it was bad. Weighed myself again this morning and I was down a few pounds. I guess reality kicked in. I'm going to have to make it a habit to weigh myself, otherwise things just start getting out of hand.
I'm re-joining kickboxing this fall, but will enter the fitness workouts and not the competitions - i'm not ready to get beat on quite yet. I'm hoping this will knock me into shape (it did last time) and get me ready for a wedding in October and a hot holiday in Jan/Feb '08!
Here's to fresh starts!
- Friday Aug 31, 2007
Hi all. So, the race is now over and i'm back to regular routines.
I was feeling terrible on Saturday, the day before the race. I'd gotten my monthly and being that it's always terrible, I was incredibly close to calling off the race. In the end, I decided not to. I figured it wasn't the time or what place I came in that was important - it was doing something that i'd never imagined myself doing - running long distance. So I told my boyfriend to look for me around the 45 minute mark, and I set off.
The first 20 minutes went by quickly. I had a couple quick stops during this time. Then came the park road. Here is where I struggled the most. I don't know why or how it came about, but I felt like stopping after only a few minutes of jogging. I stopped a few times here and then, towards the end of the road I stopped running altogether and just walked back to the highway. Once I got to the highway though I started running again and it was fine. So who knows what happened there.
I made it to the finish line in 36:28. I was proud of myself for finishing, especially when I thought it would take me 45 minutes to do it!
Next year, i'm doing it again. This time my boyfriend might join me. Next year, i'll have a better time. Promise.
Going to try a little run tonight and then going on a road trip with Dad tomorrow. Have a good weekend!
- Thursday Aug 23, 2007
I'm going to try the run again tomorrow night instead of tonight. My hip is still a little sore (mostly just stiff), so I might just jump on the bike instead and call it a night.
I missed lunch today because of meetings, so went a little hog wild at dinnertime and now i'm stuffed. As always happens with me, my diet needs yet a little more tweaking to ensure i'm getting enough nutrients throughout the day so that i'm not stuffing my face at night.
Going to read through your entries now. Have a good night!
- Wednesday Aug 22, 2007
Okay, so I decided tonight that I was going to do a trial run to see where i'm at. And even though my hip gave out on me (about 3/4 of the way into my run) I did alright. My goal for this 5k run was initially going to be 30:00 minutes. I know there's no way I can get there now, so I changed it to 40:00 minutes. And I figured, if I could get 5k in under 40:00 minutes, I would be happy. So I ran tonight. And then I had to walk. And I got 4.5k in 36:16 minutes. So I figure, on Sunday, if my hip decides to give way again, I will have a decision to make. Either I walk the rest of the race, or I run it and take my chances. Whatever I do, I think I should make it in under 40:00 minutes! Yay me! (Sorry, but I take what I can get). And, if I decide to run it anyways (and suffer the consequences later, as usual), I might even get there in under 35:00 minutes. So, a good day, in my opinion.
I was close to continuing the run tonight, but in the end decided that tonight was not the night - Sunday would be the day I would have to make that kind of decision. No need to injure myself and then not be able to run the race at all.
I had some difficulties in the beginning of the run with getting enough oxygen in, but after a while I got my groove and didn't have much of a problem from then on. The biggest worry will be my body and whether the knees and hips will stand up to the plate or not.
I think i'm going to try again tomorrow, depending on how i'm feeling. I'll let you know how I do.
Dinner was pasta, pasta sauce with beef, and toast. Lots of water. Toast again after running (not that I deserved it, but this is MY life after all!!)