- Tuesday Feb 15, 2005
Thanks for the heads up on the anti-freeze issue. BF didn't find anything on the driveway but he's going to phone the vet today anyways, just in case.
Yesterday: oatmeal with milk, hot chocolate, 1 serving crackers, 2c spaghetti with parmesan cheese and ketchup, 1c grapes, 175ml yogurt, 1 serving oatmeal cookies, and 8 meatballs.
Plan for Today: no oatmeal today, rushed morning; hot chocolate, 1 serving crackers, 1 apple, 1c grapes, 175ml yogurt, 1 serving oatmeal cookies. Mabye oatmeal for lunch, but nothing's planned. Oy, gotta get back into planning mode.
I made all my appointments yesterday and now I just have to sit back and wait. I will have a full Friday off, I tell 'ya. I still need to visit the dentist, but one thing at a time! And I don't think i'll have such a great time with that one. My wisdom teeth have been bothering me, and they'll have to get pulled. I don't want to go through that right now.
I didn't get the flowers I was promised for Valentine's Day. I got lunch made for me (although it was late), then nothing. I'm shocked, to say the least. My BF's been saying nothing lately but how broke he is, and I can understand if he can't afford to buy me anything for my birthday OR for Valentine's, but two nights ago he gave his cousin $20 just because he asked for it. I don't understand how he doesn't have $3 to buy me a card even. He said his priorities are screwed up. I told him that it was nice to know that I wasn't a priority to him. I don't want to sound selfish here, but i've done everything I can think of to excuse him from the many times he's pulled my leg, borrowed money from me, received my gifts to him without a second glance, demanded more from me....the list goes on. I haven't asked him for anything but a measly bouquet of flowers, a card, or a Happy Valentine's Day. I know I got lunch, but that was only because a girlfriend of mine told him that he should make me lunch. I want him to do something that HE thought of, something that will make me feel appreciated even a little bit. I don't know why I make such huge deals out of every little thing.
I just wanted this week to start out on a good note.
- Monday Feb 14, 2005
Well, I don't know why the heck i'm not losing weight. I should be. I guess it's the weekends that are hurting me so much because I tend to forget about my diet then, as I did this weekend by having pizza, subs and lots of pop.
Plan for Today: 1 package oatmeal with 1.5c 2% milk, 1c spaghetti with 1/2oz parmesan cheese and 1T ketchup, snacks are yogurt, grapes and crackers. I may have a serving of oatmeal cookies as well (4 cookies, 180 calories). Dinner is unknown.
We are supposed to be going out for dinner tonight with another couple, but I don't think it will happen because they haven't phoned us yet. They're notorious for making plans and then breaking them, and since we don't really do too much with them I can't see them keeping this promise. But I shouldn't be so pessimistic about it.
BF is making spaghetti for lunch for Valentine's Day. I think i'm getting flowers too. I bought him two t-shirts yesterday (1/2 price!) One says Top Ten Reasons To Procrastinate: 1. *empty space* and the other one says Instant A**hole, Just Add Beer. I wanted to get him a bright pink shirt that said All My Black Shirts Are in the Wash, but they didn't have any in his size. I think he'll like the ones I got.
Chewy seems to be doing a lot better now. BF's going to check the driveway today, my car may be leaking anti-freeze and we think Chewy might have ingested some. The day I noticed that he looked depressed he'd been outside for over two hours playing at the rink with BF so there's no way it was due to a lack of exercise or winter depression. It could very well be that he just isn't getting enough attention from us, so after BF checks out the driveway to rule out the anti-freeze idea we'll have to spend a little more time with the little guy. I'm making an appointment with the vet today to get him fixed.
I also have to make an appointment with the doctor for both BF and I; an appointment with the chiropractor, again, for both of us; an eye appointment for myself and an appointment to get our passport photos taken. All these have to be made by the end of the day, and done by the end of the month. My back is really bothering me lately. It's sore all the time, as well as my stomach, but often goes numb on one side so it's time to get it checked out. It looks like i'm standing unbalanced so that's the reason for the chiropractor. Something must be out of place.
I told BF that i'm going to start scheduling myself to do things. And, they're going to get done. So my schedule for today includes making all these appointments, running the dog, finishing laundry, doing dishes, working out and then working on my scrapbook for the rest of the night. Gotta schedule in the fun too!! I want to get to sleep early tonight and get a good start on tomorrow as well. I have this coming Friday off, and i'm definitely looking forward to it. I'm hoping to move completely this weekend.
Have a great day all!
- Friday Feb 11, 2005
Yesterday: toast with margarine, blueberry muffin, ham salad sandwich on multigrain with 2pc cucumber, 1c orange juice, 1 orange, 1 apple, 1 serving peanuts, 4 perogies.
As you can probably guess, I decided in favor of shopping for clothes instead of going out for steak. Works for me, and I had so much fun! I picked up two dress pants, two sweaters, a dress shirt and a pair of jeans for under $70CDN. I think I did very well!
Plan for Today: 2 packages oatmeal with milk, 1c yogurt, serving of crackers (115 cals), 2 apples. I need to drink my water. So it might be in the form of hot chocolate because i'm not in the mood for water straight up.
My Dad called me last night for my birthday and he's coming to visit on Sunday. That means I need to do some serious housecleaning tomorrow. BF and I already split up the work, so i'm happy that I don't have to do it all. It will be so nice to see him, it's been a while.
Chewy seems really depressed lately. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because he's lonely. The poor thing just comes up to me and begs for attention and if i'm busy he'll plop himself on the floor and pout. When I give him attention sometimes he'll just walk away from me and go to another part of the room. I don't know what he wants, but i'm guessing that he wants a 'lady'! Hopefully we're taking him in next week or the week after to get him fixed. I hope he doesn't get like this every year....
- Thursday Feb 10, 2005
Yesterday: I finally managed to down a whole package of oatmeal with milk, I also had two smoothies, almost a whole container of yogurt (which is just over 300 cals), 3T fat-free hot chocolate and two perogies.
Plan for Today: toast with margarine, orange, 1c orange juice, ham sandwich on multigrain bread, 2pcs cucumber; dinner, as usual, is up in the air.
I might go out for dinner tonight for steak because it's my birthday today and i'd get the meal free. That is, salad, steak with baked potatoe, and garlic bread. I'd also get a free shooter though, and since i've given up alcohol for lent, i'd have to pay $20 into the "Lent Box" for that planned mistake. And i'm not about to do that on the second day of Lent. So, we may not go at all. It's not like I need steak anyways. Nor do I need potatoes and garlic bread.
I'm calling a friend tonight and hopefully he's going to hook me up with a couple volleyball games tonight. I'm going through volleyball withdrawal and I need some exercise badly. I hope I can play; if not, maybe I can play with BF's team. I'm desperate here.
I was in a meeting this morning, where my boss told me in not so many words that i'll be around until June for sure, that's if I want to stay. Well, that's a start, seeing as I thought i'd be gone by the end of the month if there was no other job in the company to apply for. I've now applied for two positions, but if I don't get them at least now I know i'll be here until June for sure. And after that there should be a couple more positions opening up. Maybe i've been worrying about nothing. Let's knock on wood just for the heck of it.
- Wednesday Feb 09, 2005
Yesterday: a couple mouthfuls of oatmeal and milk, 2T fat free chocolate mix, 80 cal smoothie, a ham sub on white unfortunately (the whole thing was 200 cals), 1/2L water and a few chips. I was still very sickly and therefore wasn't able to eat much.
Today is the first day of Lent, or Ash Wednesday. I will be attending mass tonight and will be semi-fasting throughout the day. Of course that means:
Plan for Today: again I could only swallow a couple mouthfuls of oatmeal this morning, hot chocolate, 2 fruit smoothies, lots of yogurt and hopefully more oatmeal.
I'm giving up alcohol for Lent. Trust me, it's quite a sacrifice...
- Tuesday Feb 08, 2005
Breakaway - the smoothie is actually a Danone Sillouette product. It's a little chalky-tasting, but that figures because it's made with yogurt and I think yogurt tastes chalky. I saw 'em in the grocery store and thought i'd give it a try. There's four to a container.
Yesterday: I didn't write it all down in my journal, so this is purely guessing. I have such a bad memory. Oatmeal and milk, one whole wheat bun with margarine, 1T fat-free hot chocolate mix, 200ml smoothie, 2 ham and turkey subs (with mustard and cheese, lettuce and pickles), several glasses of gingerale. I'm really not sure what else.
Plan for Today: I had 2T of oatmeal with milk this morning and that's it so far. Not feeling extremely hungry today. I brought another smoothie for this morning, and there's a couple more sub buns so I might finish them off today. I have a meeting tonight and I need to run some chores that I wanted to do yesterday and was too sick to do. So it'll be busy.
Off I go to comment now...
- Monday Feb 07, 2005
I knew i'd forgotten to do something on Friday; I must've been so out of sorts that I didn't realize that I hadn't weighed in. Well, I didn't over the weekend either. And, this morning surprised me with TOM so I didn't bother weighing in at all. I feel ill today.
Let's just say it like this Today: so far i've had oatmeal and milk, a whole wheat homemade dinner bun, toasted, with margarine, 1c of 50 cal hot chocolate. I brought a strawberry-banana smoothie to work with me for this morning, so i'll probably have that as well. (80 cals). That's darn close to 500 cals just for this morning, and I know i'll be feeling even worse this afternoon, which usually makes me feel sorry for myself and eat even more than usual. I'm going to try and get the afternoon off, but it might not work out.
Friday night I watched a movie and stayed in, Saturday was BF's birthday and since my friend's BF didn't call me regarding the dinner he was planning, I decided to not worry about it. I was awake by 7am on Saturday, went downstairs and cooked BF breakfast, then we took the dog for a run, then I went uptown and bought BF flowers and a card for his birthday. I know that may be a wierd gift to give a guy, but i'm crazy like that. He liked them though, maybe because no one's ever gotten him flowers before! I'm also making a scrapbook of BF and I and some special moments. It's not finished yet though, so I told him that was part of his gift but that he's not getting it unti it's done. Then he had the nerve to tell me that he wanted slippers for his birthday! Talk about leaving it to the last minute. I gave him my old red slippers and he's using them for now. BF's family and I went out for dinner. I had a chicken caesar salad. Then we went out and partied. Sunday we just sat around and recovered from the night before. It was actually a very nice weekend.
I think i've blabbed on long enough for today, so have a great day all! Until tomorrow.
- Friday Feb 04, 2005
Late entry today. I must be busy but I don't feel as if i've gotten anything accomplished today.
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 1c brown rice with 1c chili, 3 cookies from grandma's and a whole wheat bun. 1L water.
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 4 chicken nuggets with ketchup, a whole wheat bun, 3T hot chocolate mix, dinner is up in the air. I'm getting used to saying that. And, by the way, those chicken nuggets are not the fast-food ones. I bought them at the grocery store and each one is near to an ounce, but not quite.
Maybe going out for dinner tonight, my treat. BF is working this afternoon and i'm so happy about that i'm willing to buy him dinner to thank his a$$ for finally getting out of the house again. He was getting used to the t.v. and the computer being the only sources of entertainment all day. The only down side is that I would have to cook dinner tonight. Hence the 'eat-out' idea that I suggested to him at lunchtime today. I'm not ready to delve back into that frame of mind yet.
I'm feeling better today. Last night I only got TWO phone calls, and went to a friend's house for coffee. Relaxing? Well, not quite, but as close as I can get it seems. Took Chewy for a run and I walked most of the way with him. That might be why i'm feeling more chipper today. Exercise.
Goals this month: send in passport application, get dog fixed, look into travel and medical insurance, apply for two other employment positions.
Apparently sitting on MY butt everyday doesn't appeal to me like I thought it would. I was going to do that for awhile after my temp position was over, but that's not until the 28th and i'm already looking for another job. Two positions look appetizing right now, so we'll see.
- Thursday Feb 03, 2005
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 1c brown rice, 1c chili with a slice of bread. 1.5L water. 3T hot chocolate mix.
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 1/2c chili with 1/2c brown rice, dinner's still up in the air. 3L water (ya right).
I did do something for myself yesterday. Absolutely nothing. Well, I shouldn't say that. I tried to do absolutely nothing. Everyday for the last month i've been forcing myself to do something, even if it's simply quickly making a phone call to a friend. I've made such an attempt to help others out, to visit with friends and family, to get everything done. Yesterday, I drove to the movie store, picked out The Grudge, drove home and watched it. That's all I did after work. That is, until BF drove me crazy insisting that I wash the dishes because he cooked the dinner. Which I totally agree with, but did I have to do them THAT VERY SECOND? I went to sleep pissed off, and that's the way I woke up this morning. I can feel my whole body shake with anger everytime I think about these things. I tried to have a night to myself but it just didn't work. I'll try again tonight.
I have found that the problem with visiting more with family and friends is that they're constantly badgering you afterwards. My mother phoned me last night over three times just to talk. Bf's sister came over and just watched t.v. for half an hour, wanting to visit. I can't handle this!!! I'm not an outgoing person by nature, although when i'm in the right mood I love to visit. Does that mean i'm a selfish person because I didn't want to talk to any of these people yesterday? Sometimes I would rather be alone - you don't have to deal with all these things on a daily basis when you're a hermit. I think I am being selfish.
I can't wait for the weekend to get here. Although I have a lot to do, I will be able to sleep in for an extra hour or so each morning, and won't that be nice!!
Re: commenting yesterday. My computer was working about as slowly as I was. I'll try better today.
- Wednesday Feb 02, 2005
I wore one of my skirts to work today with a very thick sweater, and i've just noticed that I can tuck in my sweater without sucking in my stomach. The skirt is made of heavy denim and I can also pull it right down over my hips without unzipping it. I must have made some improvement, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror, I notice my faults right away. I haven't weighed myself at all this week which is comendable given my attitude. It almost feels like my body is trying to trick me. I guess now I have to work on self-worth issues.
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, toast, one weiner with ketchup and 1oz chicken, 1.5c brown rice with 2 links of sausage. 2.5L water. Ice cream for dessert. Oh yeah, and 1 mug mocha. (The chocolate mix is only 50 calories per mug).
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, toast, salad with dressing, 1.5c brown rice with 2 links sausage if there's any left. 3L water. Another mug of mocha.
My meeting went well last night. I'm glad I decided to go to the slo-pitch meeting instead of the star search meeting. I needed to be around my friends. It really helped, just the brief interlude I had with them. My Chewy helped to cheer me up a little too. I went to sleep a lot calmer than I woke up. But I still can't seem to kick this emotion entirely out the window. Something still wants to pull me down.
I will comment today.