- Sunday Oct 14, 2007
This morning I had to run around and look for an outfit for my boyfriend to wear for a friend's wedding rehearsal dinner that's coming up this weekend. I didn't get back to town until after lunch and I missed actually sitting down and having lunch. Then I went over to grandma's to talk with her about some of her finances, then to a friend's for a visit and a gathering of wits so to speak. When I got home I felt so dizzy and faint that I could have gone straight to bed right then! Not even one day after learning so much about diabetes and there I am, skipping meals and living on coffee! So I forced myself (and forced is not a strong word here - I really did have to force myself) to get up and drive to Subway where I picked up a simple wrap and some gingerale (always makes my tummy feel better). I'm very glad I did that, but I really need to learn to plan ahead. I would easily have gone without dinner as well tonight, and then decided at 9pm that I was starving and pigged out on some thing or other.
So I think a friend of mine is planning on joining a gym in the next few weeks. This will be great because i'll be able to join with her and have someone to go with. So the next 'baby step' of my plan should be well underway when I get back from vacation. The next baby step is going to be to make sure i'm eating every four hours. Even if it's a cracker for goodness' sake, at least it's something. Not much of a baby step maybe, but one day at a time!
Tonight maybe we'll walk the dogs. Or not. Who knows.
Exercise for October: 7 hours and 45 minutes. Ugh, that's terrible!
- Saturday Oct 13, 2007
I've been doing pretty good this last week, I have to say. This afternoon i'm being lazy and doing hardly anything at all - oh, I need a rest. What a long workweek it was, even having Monday off. Actually, having a day off is what made the workweek even longer - so much work to catch up on when you miss a day! I don't know what will happen when I take a week off starting on the 19th!! Oh well, not going to worry about it.
I went to a Diabetes Forum this morning. Primarily I did it for preventative reasons because both my dad and my mom's dad have been diagnosed with diabetes. I don't want it to happen to me, but have already started feeling the effects of it. Some of the symptoms that i've experienced: fatigue, nausea, dizziness, depression, mood changes, trembling hands, cold sensation, tingling or numb hands and feet. These are all symptoms of diabetes, and it chills me to the bone to think that I am feeling them all at 30 years of age... anyhow, I got loads of good information and will try my best to follow some of these guidelines and slowly chip away at getting myself into better health. Note to everyone out there: even if you think you're in shape and healthy, there are sooooo many things you can do to more fully experience life at its fullest! This is only one of many - i've also touched base with workshops dealing in arthritis (my boyfriend) and osteoporosis (my mom). I believe the more we know, the better able we are to prevent and manage chronic disease!
I look forward to Tai Chi each week, and kickboxing, but I know that I need to add more to my agenda. So, hopefully when I get back from my trip to Phoenix i'll be motivated to join the gym again and start working out there once a week. Baby steps!
- Saturday Oct 06, 2007
I'm still very upset over what i've been hearing. I guess i'm a perfectionist, and my image matters to me quite a bit. When I overhear things being said at my workplace, it bothers me because 1/3 of this organization's employees make up the entire town I live in. And it's not even that things are being said about me - I would never, repeat NEVER allow that to happen (and people know that about me now, I've had to do my share of tracking back to the horse's mouth in the past and I think i've done my job of intimidating people), it's more that they are saying things that will AFFECT me in some way. I just hugely do not appreciate gossip and rumors and I so sincerely wish that I could show to them in some way how much their words can impact another's life. I guess this is the same scenario as the 'bully at school'. Maybe I shouldn't get myself involved, but then how is anything ever going to change or get better? I can't just ignore this harsh reality staring me in the face. I swear there's someone in the back of my mind telling me that I can't back down from these people - I will never back down.
We went to the drive in theatre last night to watch Hairspray. OMG, John Travolta is hilarious!!!! My boyfriend isn't a fan of musicals, but he laughed almost all the way through this one! It was great! I have to buy the dvd!!!
I took Friday off for exercise, which means that I need to do something either today or tomorrow to get in three days this week. It's raining pretty hard outside today, but there's lots of things I can do inside and I think i'll even practice my Tai Chi movements today.
Good luck to everyone this weekend. And since it's Canadian Thanksgiving - Happy Turkey Day!
- Friday Oct 05, 2007
Well, crap, didn't I tell you this would happen???!
After all my lovely comments yesterday about how good life was, reality just had to swoop down and knock me over the head. I definitely jinxed myself by saying anything at all about how well things were going.
So, my question to pose to the world today is: Why do some people think it's fun to talk crap about others? Why is it a goal for some to ruin other people's lives? Tell me all you want about how to turn the other cheek; tell me they're only jealous; tell me it doesn't matter what people think; tell me any of that and i'll agree with you - only, right now, it doesn't really matter much. Because I can't turn the other cheek or stop caring about what people say. Because no matter how hard I try, they recklessly plow on and continue to say dirty rotten sticking things. No matter how much I ignore them (and you never really succeed in ignoring them) I can't actually stop them from doing crappy things like this over and over again. I've had enough of discompassionate people, enough of gabby hazes (gossipers), enough of people in general altogether. I've just had ENOUGH!!
Oh, but carry on little grasshopper, all's well that ends well, keep your chin up, grin and bear it, good things come to those who wait.
Sometimes, it's all just....crap. And, yes, maybe I need some counselling. I know I can't control the world. Just, for about three months, can I not have people saying mean things about me, my friends and my family? Please, just for three months?
Sometimes I hate small towns.
total exercise for october - 3 hours, 45 minutes
- Thursday Oct 04, 2007
I'm still doing well - still up there on that high cloud and i'm trying hard to not change anything so that I can actually stay there for more than a week. Watch, i've probably jinxed myself now... tomorrow i'll journal telling everyone how much my life sucks!
Eating is good, except on the weekend when I went to a Turkey Fry! Once I started eating the homemade buns, it was very hard to stop. Eventually I did, but my dog didn't. He got into a 1/2 dozen homemade buns before we caught him, and he even ate the plastic bag it came in! I tell 'ya, it sure didn't look pretty the next day... poor puppy. Anyways, other than that i've done well with eating, and with exercise too.
I started a Tai Chi class every Tuesday. So on that day I have two hours of classes (Tai Chi and kickboxing), but it's worth a try because it's the only day the Tai Chi is offered and I don't want to give up a kickboxing class. The first class was great - it's really a series of poses and movements, an art form. Really interesting so far. But my back and hips were killing me afterwards, and I still had to get through the kickboxing class! But I made it, huffing and puffing and sweating like a pig or something else that sweats really, really lots.
Last night we went for a walk for an hour through the park - very nice night for it and I guess we have to squeeze in as much outside time as we can before winter comes. And, it'll come fast - right when we're looking the other way.
Thanks for all of your comments! I will definitely research how my diet can improve my mood. Take care all!
- Wednesday Sep 26, 2007
I swear i'm bi-polar or something. I so fit in with the 'really high highs and really low lows' crowd. But the highs, they're nice...
Anyhow, as assumed above, once I started feeling better I started feeling really good. And i'm still up there. I'm not sure what i've changed, but will start to mark down the days i'm feeling good and the ones i'm not. Maybe diet has something to do with it?? I'm watching that much more closely now as well as ensuring i'm working out regularly.
As most have already found out, i'm severly lacking in fruits and vegetables. I just can't seem to fit them in anywhere - even though I like them. I guess I just like fries and bread far more... I have now begun a diet regime that includes a cup of fruit salad each afternoon. Yay me! We'll work on the veggies sometime down the road - baby steps!! Although last night I made shrimp stir-fry with all colours of peppers and vegetable sauce. Yay me again!
Now that i'm writing things down in my journal again, I will be able to start tracking exercise as well. I still want to track how many hours and minutes I do each month, but was finding it too difficult if i'm not in the habit of writing it down everyday.
- quitting just means being able to try again -
- Thursday Sep 20, 2007
Blah, i'm sick today and I even missed work (or about five hours of it, anyways). So i'm just sitting around because i've gotten way too much sleep already and I don't know what else to do because....i'm sick!
I went absolutely psychotic today with food. When I weighed myself on Monday morning I was so upset about not getting anywhere, and here I go again. This coming Monday I will be just as upset as last Monday. Argh. Anyhow, eating and drinking lots of water was the only thing that kept me happy and in a decently good mood. I don't know what's with the water - usually when i'm sick water is the last thing i'm craving. But it's a good thing, so I won't question it too much.
I will miss kickboxing class tonight and that upsets me. Not because I need the exercise (although I do) or because i'm not following 'The Plan', but because I really like the class and don't want to miss out on any part of it! I bet my instructor would love to hear that...
Peanut butter sandwiches and fast food. Lord, love a duck.
- Friday Sep 14, 2007
Another kickboxing class came and went last night. It was good, although I was glad that it wasn't quite as hard-core cardio as the past classes have been. It was nice to get a bit of a break there, but we did learn a lot - four basic kicks and four basic punches - and started putting them together using focus guards. Quite a bit of fun, I have to say, especially when I just about got cracked in the head by my partner who must not have been watching where she was punching. Yikes. Focus!
Anyhow, i'm off today and have been lazing the day away but i'm quite alright with that and plan to do same for the rest of the day as well. Maybe some reading here and there, but mostly just lounging and being a lazy bum. They always say you should do the things you're naturally good at.
So the weekend will probably fly by and it will be Tuesday again before I know it and probably before I get on here with another update. So i'll just say it now...yep...dreading the next kickboxing class already. It's a good thing they're fun and even though I dread them I also look forward to them. That's a big change from other aerobics classes. This one is definitely more disciplined, and from experience i've realized that discipline is exactly the thing I need. I should have joined the army.
- Tuesday Sep 11, 2007
So I continue weighing myself each Monday morning, with little result. I have to ask myself what i'm doing wrong. And my self says back to me "Face it, you really aren't trying very hard. You think joining a kickboxing class will be enough? You think the odd run every week is going to be enough? You need to back off of those bread and butter binges girl! Ya need ta CONTROL yourself!"
After pile-driving through the muffins in about three days (and I made a lot of muffins), I made even more. And this time I dropped the low fat bran in favor of double double chocolate. Add to that the daily breakfasts of eggs and bagels and cheese, and mochas coming out my ying-yang, there you have it. And all said while munching on a chocolate bar!!! Seriously, I don't even know where my head's at anymore!
The first kickboxing class came and went, and I was sore for about three days afterwards. Just goes to show how many muscles I was NOT using. I think it must have been every single one of 'em, 'cause they ALL hurt. Another class tonight and i'm dreading it already. The instructor sure knows the boot camp basics...
What else...my boyfriend's mother insinuated that I was ugly (she was joking, but the insult still reverberates...i'm not good with criticism even if it's false), I am now officially part of the 'old' group at birthday party suppers (you know, two separate groups - the young people and the old people), and i'm really starting to not like my job (or the people I work with, one of the two).
Sometimes I wish I could just be happy with what I have and stop thinking it could be so much better. Sure, ignorance is bliss, but it would be best if I didn't have to be in the situation in the first place. Then I wouldn't know any better. Okay, quit blubbering.
Wallyball might be starting up again. There's another good fat-burner.
- Monday Sep 03, 2007
Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! Even though I only ran the 5k race I feel like i've accomplished a lot and i'm ready for the next hurdle life throws at me.
It's busy around here and i'm guessing it will stay that way for a few weeks. Work starts again tomorrow and I don't feel like going back. Once you get a couple days off it's really hard to re-motivate yourself to go back to work. Or it is for me, anyways.
So i'm spending the day with some friends, doing some baking (low fat bran muffins and carrot muffins and some self-indulgent chocolate muffins), and putzing around the house with other things like laundry and cleaning. It's a good day - sunny outside and I feel somewhat relaxed so that's good.
I made a terrible mistake and weighed myself the other day. Oy! I didn't think i'd ever see that number again. I just can't even bring myself to admit what it was - but it was bad. Weighed myself again this morning and I was down a few pounds. I guess reality kicked in. I'm going to have to make it a habit to weigh myself, otherwise things just start getting out of hand.
I'm re-joining kickboxing this fall, but will enter the fitness workouts and not the competitions - i'm not ready to get beat on quite yet. I'm hoping this will knock me into shape (it did last time) and get me ready for a wedding in October and a hot holiday in Jan/Feb '08!
Here's to fresh starts!