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legcramps - Sunday Oct 14, 2007

Weight: 0.0

This morning I had to run around and look for an outfit for my boyfriend to wear for a friend's wedding rehearsal dinner that's coming up this weekend. I didn't get back to town until after lunch and I missed actually sitting down and having lunch. Then I went over to grandma's to talk with her about some of her finances, then to a friend's for a visit and a gathering of wits so to speak. When I got home I felt so dizzy and faint that I could have gone straight to bed right then! Not even one day after learning so much about diabetes and there I am, skipping meals and living on coffee! So I forced myself (and forced is not a strong word here - I really did have to force myself) to get up and drive to Subway where I picked up a simple wrap and some gingerale (always makes my tummy feel better). I'm very glad I did that, but I really need to learn to plan ahead. I would easily have gone without dinner as well tonight, and then decided at 9pm that I was starving and pigged out on some thing or other.

So I think a friend of mine is planning on joining a gym in the next few weeks. This will be great because i'll be able to join with her and have someone to go with. So the next 'baby step' of my plan should be well underway when I get back from vacation. The next baby step is going to be to make sure i'm eating every four hours. Even if it's a cracker for goodness' sake, at least it's something. Not much of a baby step maybe, but one day at a time!

Tonight maybe we'll walk the dogs. Or not. Who knows.

Exercise for October: 7 hours and 45 minutes. Ugh, that's terrible!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/14/2007:
kombucha is this drink made like tea and it actually contains hardly any calories in a 12 ounce bottle. 60 calories and some carbonation. It's taste is almost like bear and its very satisfying and hits the spot!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/14/2007:
for me, eating every 3 hours works best. even stranger, my body likes to eat like every two hours in the mornings!!! for some reason, my body seems to need much more food earlier in the day. as even strikes, cravings generally die down - unless i didn't eat enough beforehand.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/14/2007:
what kind of wrap was it? plain white or was it a large whole wheat wrap??

fritters on 10/15/2007:
Diabetes is a scarry thing - I don't know a lot about it, but I know that you have to eat reagulary. You might even try a meal then 2 hours later a small snack that contains protien.

legcramps - Saturday Oct 13, 2007

Weight: 0.0

I've been doing pretty good this last week, I have to say. This afternoon i'm being lazy and doing hardly anything at all - oh, I need a rest. What a long workweek it was, even having Monday off. Actually, having a day off is what made the workweek even longer - so much work to catch up on when you miss a day! I don't know what will happen when I take a week off starting on the 19th!! Oh well, not going to worry about it.

I went to a Diabetes Forum this morning. Primarily I did it for preventative reasons because both my dad and my mom's dad have been diagnosed with diabetes. I don't want it to happen to me, but have already started feeling the effects of it. Some of the symptoms that i've experienced: fatigue, nausea, dizziness, depression, mood changes, trembling hands, cold sensation, tingling or numb hands and feet. These are all symptoms of diabetes, and it chills me to the bone to think that I am feeling them all at 30 years of age... anyhow, I got loads of good information and will try my best to follow some of these guidelines and slowly chip away at getting myself into better health. Note to everyone out there: even if you think you're in shape and healthy, there are sooooo many things you can do to more fully experience life at its fullest! This is only one of many - i've also touched base with workshops dealing in arthritis (my boyfriend) and osteoporosis (my mom). I believe the more we know, the better able we are to prevent and manage chronic disease!

I look forward to Tai Chi each week, and kickboxing, but I know that I need to add more to my agenda. So, hopefully when I get back from my trip to Phoenix i'll be motivated to join the gym again and start working out there once a week. Baby steps!

Donkey on 10/13/2007:
That is really scary about diabetes. How sad to think that your life could be impacted. If that were me, man, I'd do everything in my power to prevent it. I would make it #1 priority. Good luck to you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/13/2007:
tai chi sounds great. you know, i just wrote on someone's diary that i would reward myself with yoga. however, maybe i should reward myself (when i do not binge/gain weight for at least a month...) with a more cardiovascular/movement centered class. Kickboxing sounds awesome. I did it awhile ago; and boy its great exercise. After i eat, like when i have a subway sandwich and chips, i could pass out right after. It makes me soooo tired. all carbs do this to me. It's sick. Before i eat, i get shakey plenty. But, doctors have always said i'm fine. oh well.

oh, i do try mini meals and my mom used to make fun of me and bother me about it. she'd be like, "eating again!?" but, she wasn't kidding. she was teasing me for always needing food. however, when i ate that way, i was the strictist and looked my best. Not sure if i always felt my best - since i was really limiting calories to like 1200 a day. however, my work schedule isn't that great. I start at 8:20 and do not get a breat until 1:55. Thats a long time to go without a break; and even if i bring a snack, it's not the same as taking a breather for 20 minutes. Also, sometimes i get self conscious about what other people think of my eating, like, "why is she eating now...can't she go a minute without food?" haha, but that won't bother me. i'll just tell them i need to eat before my late lunch. it just annoys me that i can't have some privacy on what i eat and that i feel rushed eating the snack. lunch is a good 40 minutes...so i'd rather have a nice, full lunch. however, it's just too late in the day and i'm too shakey to wait until then. so, i agree with you, i've got to plan better. Usually I am a mini meal person. Otherwise, i feel sick all day. :)

workingit2 on 10/14/2007:
I am right with you about the diabetes thing. My dad has it and I am deathly afraid of developing it. That was the biggest reason I started to lose the weight in the first place. Now with my sudden regain of weight, I am afraid of it even more. I looked at some literature while at the doctors office and found that the hospital he is connected with, has lots of different seminars, some free, some not. I thought I'd take a look at them and am happy that you found them to be helpful. Have you been to get tested for diabetes yet this year?

legcramps - Saturday Oct 06, 2007

Weight: 0.0

I'm still very upset over what i've been hearing. I guess i'm a perfectionist, and my image matters to me quite a bit. When I overhear things being said at my workplace, it bothers me because 1/3 of this organization's employees make up the entire town I live in. And it's not even that things are being said about me - I would never, repeat NEVER allow that to happen (and people know that about me now, I've had to do my share of tracking back to the horse's mouth in the past and I think i've done my job of intimidating people), it's more that they are saying things that will AFFECT me in some way. I just hugely do not appreciate gossip and rumors and I so sincerely wish that I could show to them in some way how much their words can impact another's life. I guess this is the same scenario as the 'bully at school'. Maybe I shouldn't get myself involved, but then how is anything ever going to change or get better? I can't just ignore this harsh reality staring me in the face. I swear there's someone in the back of my mind telling me that I can't back down from these people - I will never back down.


We went to the drive in theatre last night to watch Hairspray. OMG, John Travolta is hilarious!!!! My boyfriend isn't a fan of musicals, but he laughed almost all the way through this one! It was great! I have to buy the dvd!!!

I took Friday off for exercise, which means that I need to do something either today or tomorrow to get in three days this week. It's raining pretty hard outside today, but there's lots of things I can do inside and I think i'll even practice my Tai Chi movements today.

Good luck to everyone this weekend. And since it's Canadian Thanksgiving - Happy Turkey Day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/06/2007:
hey legcramps. basically, i walk or use the elliptical. i used to do weight training and yoga, but i've put them aside for a few months now.

i have gained a little under 10 lbs in 2 months...really one month...because of my behavior. luckily, i've been walking a bit, so at least i'm a little more toned than if i were to do no activity. however, my clothes are getting small and i do not want to purchase new ones!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/07/2007:
Gosh, what's with those people!? why do they say all those things!? actually, some people i presume are just mean people. In fact, I do recall there are certain people that just DON'T come off as nice. This is sad and i'm sorry you have to work with them. but, you know, don't take it personally. there's this one reading teacher in the school I work at and thankfully I don't assist her. She is soo mean. even to the kids. The 2 women that assist her get an earful also. she's straight up nasty...even raising her voice and tormenting children and adults when she doesn't like what you're doing! even sadder, i work in a really GOOD school disrict. It's amazing this woman was not fired. She's been there so long, it's difficult to do.

It's difficult for those people that work with the woman i mentioned to get through their day without becoming negative themselves. All i can say is to constantly tell yourself you ARE better than that. Don't let people's nastiness ruin you. also, find the people who are positive and stick around them. ignore the others to the best of your ability.

Donkey on 10/07/2007:
What I hear from you is that your workplace is filled with negative energy and it is toxic to you (as I would imagine it would be to anyone). Yuck! I really dislike it when a workplace -- of all places -- is like that. I mean, sometimes I just want to say, "How old are you people? 7? 13?" UGH. I only hope that you can find a niche of peace somewhere at work.

biscottibody59 on 10/07/2007:
Happy Thanksgiving!

workingit2 on 10/07/2007:
I thought Hairspray was a riot!

I don't like anyone saying negative stuff about me either..especially when I know that I bust my butt at the job. I take a lot of pride in the work I do, and there is always some folks who enjoy trying to tear it down. It is like they get some kind of thrill from watching other people suffer from their mouth. They are everywhere...big towns, small towns, I live in a big town and you wouldn't think they talk about anyone..oh but they do. Heck, they really get after each other in the farm community my folks live in. Everyone knows about everyone else..or at least they THINK they know. Peyton Place times four LOL

Good luck!

legcramps - Friday Oct 05, 2007

Weight: 0.0

Well, crap, didn't I tell you this would happen???!

After all my lovely comments yesterday about how good life was, reality just had to swoop down and knock me over the head. I definitely jinxed myself by saying anything at all about how well things were going.

So, my question to pose to the world today is: Why do some people think it's fun to talk crap about others? Why is it a goal for some to ruin other people's lives? Tell me all you want about how to turn the other cheek; tell me they're only jealous; tell me it doesn't matter what people think; tell me any of that and i'll agree with you - only, right now, it doesn't really matter much. Because I can't turn the other cheek or stop caring about what people say. Because no matter how hard I try, they recklessly plow on and continue to say dirty rotten sticking things. No matter how much I ignore them (and you never really succeed in ignoring them) I can't actually stop them from doing crappy things like this over and over again. I've had enough of discompassionate people, enough of gabby hazes (gossipers), enough of people in general altogether. I've just had ENOUGH!!

Oh, but carry on little grasshopper, all's well that ends well, keep your chin up, grin and bear it, good things come to those who wait.

Sometimes, it's all just....crap. And, yes, maybe I need some counselling. I know I can't control the world. Just, for about three months, can I not have people saying mean things about me, my friends and my family? Please, just for three months?

Sometimes I hate small towns.

total exercise for october - 3 hours, 45 minutes

nsa on 10/05/2007:
A lot of people have such low self esteem and self respect that the only way they can feel any better is to knock someone when they are down... It's sad.

Don't let em bring you down...

And by the way - "Gabby Hazes" - I LOL'd

biscottibody59 on 10/05/2007:
Keep close to your friends for comfort. I hope it blows over and the gossipy ones move on to someone else!

I took a tai chi class a zillion years ago--I didn't keep up with it--so I remember next to nothing!

Donkey on 10/05/2007:
Well, I was going to try to give you some encouragement until you said you lived in a small town. Been there, done that. It was like that at my gym (not the one I'm at now). That was a MAJOR gossip hub. HUGE. I moved.

workingit2 on 10/06/2007:
The condo community I live in is full of gossips. I don't associate with any of them, never have, never will. Yet, they all seem to think they know what my life is all about. Grown folks sitting outside, casting judgement down on others. I shake my head at them, but I don't allow myself to get upset because that means they have control...and I'll be darned if they are going to take anything from me by force, or by mouth. Forget that.

The best revenge in the world is to keep living your life with your head held high and looking THROUGH them as if they don't matter. Even though you may be all torn up inside, they don't have the right to know that. Sometimes a game face is all we have the puts a wall between us and them.

I hope your day goes better...and don't worry...the saying "he who gossips about another, will gossip about you in time" is true. They will turn and feed on each other if you are no longer upset by their nonsense. Smile and wave at them with that look in your eye....make them wonder. =)

legcramps - Thursday Oct 04, 2007

Weight: 0.0

I'm still doing well - still up there on that high cloud and i'm trying hard to not change anything so that I can actually stay there for more than a week. Watch, i've probably jinxed myself now... tomorrow i'll journal telling everyone how much my life sucks!

Eating is good, except on the weekend when I went to a Turkey Fry! Once I started eating the homemade buns, it was very hard to stop. Eventually I did, but my dog didn't. He got into a 1/2 dozen homemade buns before we caught him, and he even ate the plastic bag it came in! I tell 'ya, it sure didn't look pretty the next day... poor puppy. Anyways, other than that i've done well with eating, and with exercise too.

I started a Tai Chi class every Tuesday. So on that day I have two hours of classes (Tai Chi and kickboxing), but it's worth a try because it's the only day the Tai Chi is offered and I don't want to give up a kickboxing class. The first class was great - it's really a series of poses and movements, an art form. Really interesting so far. But my back and hips were killing me afterwards, and I still had to get through the kickboxing class! But I made it, huffing and puffing and sweating like a pig or something else that sweats really, really lots.

Last night we went for a walk for an hour through the park - very nice night for it and I guess we have to squeeze in as much outside time as we can before winter comes. And, it'll come fast - right when we're looking the other way.

Thanks for all of your comments! I will definitely research how my diet can improve my mood. Take care all!

workingit2 on 10/04/2007:
How cool to have Tai Chi classes! Good luck on the weekend!

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 26, 2007

Weight: 0.0

I swear i'm bi-polar or something. I so fit in with the 'really high highs and really low lows' crowd. But the highs, they're nice...

Anyhow, as assumed above, once I started feeling better I started feeling really good. And i'm still up there. I'm not sure what i've changed, but will start to mark down the days i'm feeling good and the ones i'm not. Maybe diet has something to do with it?? I'm watching that much more closely now as well as ensuring i'm working out regularly.

As most have already found out, i'm severly lacking in fruits and vegetables. I just can't seem to fit them in anywhere - even though I like them. I guess I just like fries and bread far more... I have now begun a diet regime that includes a cup of fruit salad each afternoon. Yay me! We'll work on the veggies sometime down the road - baby steps!! Although last night I made shrimp stir-fry with all colours of peppers and vegetable sauce. Yay me again!

Now that i'm writing things down in my journal again, I will be able to start tracking exercise as well. I still want to track how many hours and minutes I do each month, but was finding it too difficult if i'm not in the habit of writing it down everyday.

- quitting just means being able to try again -

shadetree on 09/26/2007:
My son used to have extreme swings, but rather than medicate, we did research and were amazed at the chemicals that can be found in processed foods (like the petroleum byproducts used in food coloring...) We switched him to natural foods, fresh fruits and vegetables (organic if we can find them), soy, fish, virtually eliminated dairy, and it made all the difference in the world. He was in first grade when he came home and announced that he felt so much better with the 'new' foods and he didn't want to eat that other stuff. That was over five years ago and no real issues anymore with his behavior. While you certainly may have something going on bigger than your diet, it won't hurt to make adjustments and see how you feel. You just might be amazed!

Glad to hear that you are adding a fruit salad, and the shrimp stir fry sounds great! A little bit at a time is better than not at all!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/27/2007:
haha. thanks for telling me not to binge! It helps! I fit in the "high highs and low lows" crowd as well! and what a crowd we are!

oh, i agree that going to bed early helps with food intake.

in terms of veggies, perhaps look at it a different way. do not try to eat so many veggies. make a plan to eat ONLY one veggie a day for a week. the next week, increase to two. The following 3. most important, stick to the ones you like. next, if you're making an omelette, add in some tomato. if you're making chicken cutlets, cook some red peppers with them. if you're making a sandwhich, add in some grilled veggies. just suggestions.

biscottibody59 on 09/27/2007:
I wouldn't call myself bipolar just yet, but I can be very moody:-) Maybe it is related to food somehow--hmm . . .

Good luck figuring it out for yourself--well worth the time/energy I'm sure!

Workingit2 on 09/29/2007:
I thought I was bipolar and discussed it with my doc. He said that my 'high' moods are actually who I am and he gave me information on manic/depression. So it was worth a trip to the doctor to find out what was the deal. I still have trouble with depression and I always will, so yes...when I am not depressed and am clearer and who I really am, OMG it feels GREAT! Enjoy your great days!!

legcramps - Thursday Sep 20, 2007

Weight: 0.0

Blah, i'm sick today and I even missed work (or about five hours of it, anyways). So i'm just sitting around because i've gotten way too much sleep already and I don't know what else to do because....i'm sick!

I went absolutely psychotic today with food. When I weighed myself on Monday morning I was so upset about not getting anywhere, and here I go again. This coming Monday I will be just as upset as last Monday. Argh. Anyhow, eating and drinking lots of water was the only thing that kept me happy and in a decently good mood. I don't know what's with the water - usually when i'm sick water is the last thing i'm craving. But it's a good thing, so I won't question it too much.

I will miss kickboxing class tonight and that upsets me. Not because I need the exercise (although I do) or because i'm not following 'The Plan', but because I really like the class and don't want to miss out on any part of it! I bet my instructor would love to hear that...

Peanut butter sandwiches and fast food. Lord, love a duck.

Donkey on 09/20/2007:
When I am sick, my water intake goes WAY down. Try to find good water alternatives: flavored decaff teas (there are some mighty tasty ones out there), diluted juice, water with fruit in it (a slice of orange, or orange/lemon/lime combo). My favorite was water with frozen pineapple chunks. The pineapple flavors the water and chills it too. Then when you're done drinking the water, you get to eat the fruit! :-) Still not feeling like drinking? OK, then eat fruit. Fruit has a high water content. Clear soups.

OK, Donkey has run out of ideas. I hope you feel better soon.

jon'smom on 09/21/2007:
I hope you feel better soon!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/22/2007:
first, FEEL BETTER!!! I definitely know what it's like to feel under the weather and not be able to do the things you love! I also HATE missing out on exercise...because i LOVE how it makes me feel (especially the "high" you get after you've finished! :) hmmm, i wish you a speedy recovery. :)

workingit2 on 09/23/2007:
Awwww I hope you feel better today!

legcramps - Friday Sep 14, 2007

Weight: 0.0

Another kickboxing class came and went last night. It was good, although I was glad that it wasn't quite as hard-core cardio as the past classes have been. It was nice to get a bit of a break there, but we did learn a lot - four basic kicks and four basic punches - and started putting them together using focus guards. Quite a bit of fun, I have to say, especially when I just about got cracked in the head by my partner who must not have been watching where she was punching. Yikes. Focus!

Anyhow, i'm off today and have been lazing the day away but i'm quite alright with that and plan to do same for the rest of the day as well. Maybe some reading here and there, but mostly just lounging and being a lazy bum. They always say you should do the things you're naturally good at.

So the weekend will probably fly by and it will be Tuesday again before I know it and probably before I get on here with another update. So i'll just say it now...yep...dreading the next kickboxing class already. It's a good thing they're fun and even though I dread them I also look forward to them. That's a big change from other aerobics classes. This one is definitely more disciplined, and from experience i've realized that discipline is exactly the thing I need. I should have joined the army.

biscottibody59 on 09/17/2007:
Good for you on the kickboxing--I was reading someone's blog a while ago and they felt the same way about the classes--just be careful as you work your way up, apparently it can get quite rough. Sounds rough enough:-)

Have a good one!

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 11, 2007

Weight: 0.0

So I continue weighing myself each Monday morning, with little result. I have to ask myself what i'm doing wrong. And my self says back to me "Face it, you really aren't trying very hard. You think joining a kickboxing class will be enough? You think the odd run every week is going to be enough? You need to back off of those bread and butter binges girl! Ya need ta CONTROL yourself!"

After pile-driving through the muffins in about three days (and I made a lot of muffins), I made even more. And this time I dropped the low fat bran in favor of double double chocolate. Add to that the daily breakfasts of eggs and bagels and cheese, and mochas coming out my ying-yang, there you have it. And all said while munching on a chocolate bar!!! Seriously, I don't even know where my head's at anymore!

The first kickboxing class came and went, and I was sore for about three days afterwards. Just goes to show how many muscles I was NOT using. I think it must have been every single one of 'em, 'cause they ALL hurt. Another class tonight and i'm dreading it already. The instructor sure knows the boot camp basics...

What else...my boyfriend's mother insinuated that I was ugly (she was joking, but the insult still reverberates...i'm not good with criticism even if it's false), I am now officially part of the 'old' group at birthday party suppers (you know, two separate groups - the young people and the old people), and i'm really starting to not like my job (or the people I work with, one of the two).

Sometimes I wish I could just be happy with what I have and stop thinking it could be so much better. Sure, ignorance is bliss, but it would be best if I didn't have to be in the situation in the first place. Then I wouldn't know any better. Okay, quit blubbering.

Wallyball might be starting up again. There's another good fat-burner.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/11/2007:
Wallyball? what's that! kickboxing is something i tried and loved. I just don't have the money now to spend on taking classes. BUT, i do plan on getting back into that one day. that and yoga...and swimming. haha, i have so many desires!

i have a tendency to go on bad eating spurts too. you know, it's good to have a little of everything in your diet. Lately, i've been making sure that I have variety. I've been allowing myself pieces and drips and drabs of the things i like. and, it's working!

hollybelle on 09/15/2007:
Had to laugh at you talking about making the muffins and "pile-driving" through them. As for myself - after heartily congratulating myself all week for resisting candy that was all over the place at work I got the bright idea of making oatmeal cookies this afternoon. They were great - I should know I ate 6!!! I'm not sure why I did that. Didn't eat supper, though. That's just silly. I know better. Tomorrow is another day - thank goodness.

Don't be so hard on yourself, though. The kickboxing is great exercise and exercise helps even if you aren't eating so perfectly!

legcramps - Monday Sep 03, 2007

Weight: 0.0

Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! Even though I only ran the 5k race I feel like i've accomplished a lot and i'm ready for the next hurdle life throws at me.

It's busy around here and i'm guessing it will stay that way for a few weeks. Work starts again tomorrow and I don't feel like going back. Once you get a couple days off it's really hard to re-motivate yourself to go back to work. Or it is for me, anyways.

So i'm spending the day with some friends, doing some baking (low fat bran muffins and carrot muffins and some self-indulgent chocolate muffins), and putzing around the house with other things like laundry and cleaning. It's a good day - sunny outside and I feel somewhat relaxed so that's good.

I made a terrible mistake and weighed myself the other day. Oy! I didn't think i'd ever see that number again. I just can't even bring myself to admit what it was - but it was bad. Weighed myself again this morning and I was down a few pounds. I guess reality kicked in. I'm going to have to make it a habit to weigh myself, otherwise things just start getting out of hand.

I'm re-joining kickboxing this fall, but will enter the fitness workouts and not the competitions - i'm not ready to get beat on quite yet. I'm hoping this will knock me into shape (it did last time) and get me ready for a wedding in October and a hot holiday in Jan/Feb '08!

Here's to fresh starts!

Donkey on 09/03/2007:
You have a great attitude!! :-)

Workingit2 on 09/03/2007:
I agree, weighing in on a regular basis is the only way I can stay on track. It is so easy to put the weight back on! You are enjoying improved fitness, however..so that is something! Keep up the great work!

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