- Thursday Feb 03, 2005
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 1c brown rice, 1c chili with a slice of bread. 1.5L water. 3T hot chocolate mix.
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, 1pc toast, 1/2c chili with 1/2c brown rice, dinner's still up in the air. 3L water (ya right).
I did do something for myself yesterday. Absolutely nothing. Well, I shouldn't say that. I tried to do absolutely nothing. Everyday for the last month i've been forcing myself to do something, even if it's simply quickly making a phone call to a friend. I've made such an attempt to help others out, to visit with friends and family, to get everything done. Yesterday, I drove to the movie store, picked out The Grudge, drove home and watched it. That's all I did after work. That is, until BF drove me crazy insisting that I wash the dishes because he cooked the dinner. Which I totally agree with, but did I have to do them THAT VERY SECOND? I went to sleep pissed off, and that's the way I woke up this morning. I can feel my whole body shake with anger everytime I think about these things. I tried to have a night to myself but it just didn't work. I'll try again tonight.
I have found that the problem with visiting more with family and friends is that they're constantly badgering you afterwards. My mother phoned me last night over three times just to talk. Bf's sister came over and just watched t.v. for half an hour, wanting to visit. I can't handle this!!! I'm not an outgoing person by nature, although when i'm in the right mood I love to visit. Does that mean i'm a selfish person because I didn't want to talk to any of these people yesterday? Sometimes I would rather be alone - you don't have to deal with all these things on a daily basis when you're a hermit. I think I am being selfish.
I can't wait for the weekend to get here. Although I have a lot to do, I will be able to sleep in for an extra hour or so each morning, and won't that be nice!!
Re: commenting yesterday. My computer was working about as slowly as I was. I'll try better today.
- Wednesday Feb 02, 2005
I wore one of my skirts to work today with a very thick sweater, and i've just noticed that I can tuck in my sweater without sucking in my stomach. The skirt is made of heavy denim and I can also pull it right down over my hips without unzipping it. I must have made some improvement, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror, I notice my faults right away. I haven't weighed myself at all this week which is comendable given my attitude. It almost feels like my body is trying to trick me. I guess now I have to work on self-worth issues.
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, toast, one weiner with ketchup and 1oz chicken, 1.5c brown rice with 2 links of sausage. 2.5L water. Ice cream for dessert. Oh yeah, and 1 mug mocha. (The chocolate mix is only 50 calories per mug).
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, toast, salad with dressing, 1.5c brown rice with 2 links sausage if there's any left. 3L water. Another mug of mocha.
My meeting went well last night. I'm glad I decided to go to the slo-pitch meeting instead of the star search meeting. I needed to be around my friends. It really helped, just the brief interlude I had with them. My Chewy helped to cheer me up a little too. I went to sleep a lot calmer than I woke up. But I still can't seem to kick this emotion entirely out the window. Something still wants to pull me down.
I will comment today.
- Tuesday Feb 01, 2005
Thanks BBody for your suggestion. I still haven't brought it up to BF.
Troubled and depressed today, yesterday, the day before. I could barely lift my head this morning to get out of bed. I shoudn't be overwhelmed, but I am. I'm at my breaking point and I have no idea how I got here in the first place. Seems like it just happened. Last night I sat on the couch and cried for half an hour. For no real reason other than self-pity. Kumbaya.
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, peaches, toast, bread, weiners, low-fat ice cream. 1L water. No exercise.
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, toast, weiner, sausage and brown rice, low-fat fudgsicle. 3L water. Meeting tonight, no exercise.
Hopefully I can cheer myself up today, but if you asked me to right now i'd probably try punching you in the face. You know i'm kidding, right?
- Monday Jan 31, 2005
Thanks, BTC for your concern. No, my weekend didn't go as badly as I thought it might. Actually, it went well. Okay, it went alright.
We went out once last week besides the pizza incident, for someone's birthday party. I had a grilled chicken caesar salad. I only had one drink that night, although Friday night I had a few more than that. I've been playing the Sims on the computer since I installed the darn game, and I can't seem to tear myself away from it long enough to accomplish anything else of great importance. I was awake until 2am on Sunday morning playing away.
My e-mail account isn't working yet. I hope no one has tried to e-mail me using the account I have set up here because I haven't used it in a long time. Once I get my new one up and running, i'll post it here for your info.
I'm impatient and stressed out.
I'm in a quandry that I haven't told BF about yet. His birthday is coming up on Saturday, but he hasn't planned anything yet. Yesterday my best friend's BF told me that he wants everyone to go out for dinner on Saturday and he's going to propose to her! I'm pleased, but I don't want to take the celebration away from BF's birthday. I need to be at this dinner because i'm going to be her maid of honor. Her BF said come to the dinner, then we'll all celebrate my BF's birthday. I don't think my friend would want this though. She wants it to be HER day and doesn't want to have to share it. I know because she already told me this. So I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions? I will have to talk to BF about it tonight.
Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, peaches, toast with margarine, hmmmmm what else.......no planning done again today. I'm in twubble.
- Friday Jan 28, 2005
So, movement on the scale = all out binge fest.
Yesterday: 1 packet oatmeal with 3/4c milk, 1c mocha, 1pc toast with margarine, 1c carrots, 2oz salmon with 1c brown rice and beans, 3L water. Then I installed internet at home and got stressed out, and then I forgot my key to get very important info pertaining to a meeting I needed to attend. So I inhaled a kit kat krunch bar. After my meeting, instead of working out, we drove to the local pizza place. I had one slice of pepperoni and ham pizza, then a small bag of chips, and a few ounces of diet pepsi. I wasn't hungry - I was looking for comfort.
So needless to say I think we can all kiss my beautiful loss of yesterday goodbye. If I quit having so many falls, I might actually start thinking that i'm getting somewhere...
Not at work today - updating at home. I need to send in some resumes today and look for another job opportunity, so comments will be few and far between again. I'm behind on most entries by a couple of days, but i'm doing my best at the moment.
Plan for Today: already had another slice of pizza and a couple gulps of diet pop. I don't know what my plan is. All leftovers are gone so we'll need to cook unless we eat out. I'm not in diet thinking mode today, which scares me a lot. Let's not undo everything i've done in the last two weeks, okay legcramps?
Much success today....
- Thursday Jan 27, 2005
Movement on the scale. Yes!
Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, mocha, toast with margarine, carrots, salad with dressing, 2oz sauteed (sp?) chicken with 1c brown rice and beans, 1c peach cocktail and a fudgsicle (40 cals). 3.5L water.
Surprisingly, that ended up being just under 1100 cals according to fitday. Today we're going for 1200 because i'm not doing much. I have a meeting tonight so i'm not sure if i'll be able to workout. Yesterday I did over 33 minutes on the bike. I count by kilometers, not by time, and I went 16km. That would be around 10 miles. Not sure how accurate that is though, and i'm also not sure if that means i'm doing well or not. I have to measure it somehow though, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't slacking off just to get the time in. If that makes sense.
Can't comment today, very busy at work. Tonight after the meeting i'm hoping to set up internet at home, so maybe i'll check in tonight. Have a good one everyone!
- Wednesday Jan 26, 2005
I made myself a cup of coffee/NF hot chocolate this morning, and I can feel it in my veins already. For someone who doesn't drink a lot of caffeinated beverages, this is going to have me tearing up and down the walls today. But since I had a late night yesterday, I need it.
Yesterday: 2pc toast with margarine (finally finished off the tub and I got to buy Becel Light when I went grocery shopping last night - yay!), 1c carrots, 1c brown rice with beans in tomato sauce, 1c salad with dressing, 2oz salmon and 1/2c peach cocktail. 3L water.
I jumped on the elliptical last night for just over 11 minutes. BTC - you have a really good idea about using the elliptical first, then going on the bike. Except, I pushed myself way too hard last night and ended up winded for about 1/2 an hour afterwards. There wasn't any way I was getting my butt onto that bike. BF said my face was beet red, veins were popping out of my forhead, and I was laying on the floor in the living room - trying not to die. If that sounds funny to you, go ahead and laugh - I won't be offended...
Plan for Today: I had oatmeal for breakfast today (instead of bread - success!!), perhaps toast or salad for lunch, and chicken with brown rice and beans for dinner. Snacks: peach cocktail, cranberry juice. 3L water. Bike for 1/2hr. I'm going to try switching off between the bike and the elliptical instead of trying to do everything all in one day, every day.
Thanks for all the comments ladies - mucho gracias.
- Tuesday Jan 25, 2005
Oh, i'm cursed, CURSED I TELL YOU.
Yesterday: 2.5L water, 1.5c potato casserole, 1c salad with dressing, 2 buffalo patties. That's the good part. Then I had 1sl pepperoni pizza, 1c cappaccino, 1c ice cream, 1 popsicle and at least half a loaf of bread. With margarine. Way too much margarine.
It was a hungry day yesterday and it was all I could do........nevermind, i'm lying. It was a hungry day, and I just kept on eating away. Nothing could stop me. It was a feeding frenzy. I'm upset, a little disappointed, and I was being overly judgemental this morning before work. I'm over it now, and there's not much I can do besides work it off. Which is what i'll do.
Yesterday I rode the bike for 33 minutes and burned 350 calories. I tried to step on the elliptical but after about 3 minutes I just about fell off the thing from exhaustion. We'll have to take that a little slower. Like next time, let's not jump on to the elliptical RIGHT after jumping off the bike.
Today's Plan: 2pc toast with margarine (why don't I just cut this crap right out????), 1c salad with dressing, 3oz salmon (fish! yum, it's been awhile) on a bed of brown rice. Perhaps carrots and 1c cranberry juice. Let's keep it simple today, legcramps. Simple is easy.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
- Monday Jan 24, 2005
Weight still holding strong at 130lbs.
The weekend went quite well I think, in terms of diet and exercise. Well, it went better than usual anyhow.
Friday we ended up going out to Pizza Hut for supper. BF really wanted pizza, so that's what we got. I had two pieces of pepperoni and bacon pizza, with coffee. We watched White Noise in the theatre afterwards, and I didn't get anything to eat or drink. So Friday ended higher than I wanted, but I can handle it.
Friday: biked 33 minutes; elliptical 10 minutes
Saturday I didn't exercise. We went for brunch and all I had was two pieces of toast with margarine and a cup of coffee. Later on we had pizza leftovers (I had 1 slice), then went to watch curling. I got a ham and cheese sandwich there, with a cup of fries with it. Saturday night is where the calories start adding up, as BF and I had company over to play cards and listen to music, and I ended up consuming some unneeded alcohol calories. Oh, did I say SOME? I meant A LOT.
Sunday was a great day, in my opinion. Slept in, got up and had a couple links of sausage with bread, played shinny for two hours then made potato casserole for dinner. I had one cup of that, and had thrown almost every type of vegetable into it that I could find in the fridge. It turned out surprisingly well for it being so 'off-the--cuff'.
Sunday: biked 34 minutes; walked 1hr, shinny 2hrs.
For those who may not know what shinny is - we play hockey on outside rinks with boots on and foam pucks or tennis balls.
I've given up volleyball until next season. I'm going to be busy with moving, my brother's wedding (in May), slo-pitch and this other committee i'm on. No more wallyball either. I'm giving up a lot to do this other stuff, but I think it will be for the best. We'll see.
Have a great day all!
- Friday Jan 21, 2005
BTC - great minds think alike - i'll explain below.
Yesterday: 1/2c strawberry yogurt, 1c ww pasta with 1T ketchup and 1/2T parmesan cheese, 1c potato casserole with 2pc sausage, 1c french vanilla cappaccino, 3L water.
I don't think i'll beat 3L of water, but maybe I can at least match it.
Yesterday I biked for over 31 minutes! Moving up slower now, but at least i'm still moving up! I also jumped on the elliptical for just over 10 minutes. That felt awesome as whenever i've tried to get on that thing, i'm huffing and puffing uncontrollably after only a few minutes. Having the t.v. down there helps so much. I'm watching Mean Girls right now while I work out. I can't wait to work out tonight so that I can finish the movie! BF doesn't like watching chick flicks, so if I keep renting them and watching them only while I work out, imagine all the working out I could get done! What a wicked idea! Yehahah *uncontrollable laughter*. I think i'm going crazy with all this extra energy.
It was hot and cold all night with BF. I would get into a conversation with him, remember the last couple of days, then stop cold and ignore him. Oy, i'm such a terrible girlfriend! Anyways, I finally got up the courage to 1. thank him for the flowers, 2. apologize for being so grumpy the last few days and 3. explain why I was being that way. I don't know how I did it, but once I started it was really hard to stop! I actually got everything out, and i'm hoping for a quick recovery time! Tonight, BF asked me 'out' on a date. This is why such great minds tend to think alike BTC. I asked him for more time with just the two of us. We're going to do the supper and a movie date tonight. I don't think we've gone anywhere just the two of us in months.
Plan for today: 1/2c yogurt, 1pc cheesetoast, hopefully a salad and grilled chicken or something for dinner, and 3L water. Snacks: milk, cranberry juice, 1 serving twizzlers.
This weekend I want to accomplish: some packing at my apartment and my continued success with exercise and diet! Have a good one today ladies and gentlemen!