- Thursday Aug 31, 2006
So I did end up leaving work a couple of hours early in order to go home and sleep. The further along I got in the day, the more sick I was getting. Finally I told myself that it jusn't wasn't worth trying to smile through the pain and that I should probably just go home. Once there, though, it seemed like the pain got 100 times worse, because there I was, doing nothing. At least at work I was kept decently busy and didn't have too many chances to feel sorry for myself. And instead of sleeping, I found that I couldn't close my eyes (I had at least a litre of coffee in the morning at work because it was the only thing that kept me going) so I resorted to the internet to pass the time.
After eating a semblance of chicken for lunch, I was starting to get hungry so into the fridge I went, quickly skimming past the block of cheese and to the macaroni salad. I had to stop there because nothing else was in the fridge. That was edible, anyway. So macaroni it was, and eventually....I caved and had some cheese toast (on white bread, for which I shall explain below**). After this I nibbled for the rest of dinner on items I just can't recall - I wrote them all down in my book but I left that at home. All I know is that my calories for the day totalled 1500. And I most definitely did not exercise. I'm doing better today though - so far. I'm feeling much better although this morning was a little rough, and the coffee is helping to pull me through the day. I have Friday off, so I wanted to come in to work today no matter what because I needed to finish off some things and attend a meeting. Rough, but doable.
**I usually buy either whole wheat or rye bread, pasta, etc. and it's only on VERY slim occasions where i'll have white flour. I don't even like the taste of it anymore. BF and I therefore eat from different bags of bread, and we leave said bags on the counter in our kitchen. On Tuesday when I got home after work, I noticed a ripped up bag on the kitchen floor and walked closer to investigate. Sure enough, Chewy had gotten a hold of MY bag of bread (apparently he favors rye over white), ripped it to shreds, and had himself at least half a loaf of it. He's so clever, isn't he?! He places his paws strategically on the edge of the counter so as not to scratch the surface and give himself away. He then stretches his neck as far as possible, which is quite a distance - easily the whole surface of the counter from front to back. Then he simply takes his pick - "what would I like today?". Now don't get me wrong, he doesn't do this regularly, only occasionally when he knows we've faltered a bit and left something out for him. Very clever he is, indeed. I gave him a 'time-out', which he dreads receiving. I drag him to the corner (I might have already mentioned this) and leave him there for a minute. This is funny - i've only done this a few times so far and already he knows his punishment and sits there like a prisoner sentenced to death. This is the only time where he'll actually STAY.
This morning again no gym - I had a few problems getting up and moving around - and had to force down toast and an egg. Lunch again had to force food down, and I imagine dinner won't be easy either. I just need a good back massage and some sleep!!!
- Wednesday Aug 30, 2006
I had a whole entry written out in my head around 2:30am this morning while I was NOT sleeping because I had gotten my period. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it. It's too bad, really, because you all would really have enjoyed it, i'm sure. It was filled to the brim with sarcasm and stinging wit. At least, that's what it seemed like at 2:30am this morning. I remember this much - I was complaining A LOT about the predicament I was in. And I kept going on wild tangents and getting lost in the middle of sentences.
I'm so sick today. Ugh. And besides that, I feel like a pig because of bloating. My skin is so washed out it's a wonder people can still see me. I want to crawl under the covers and stay there!
So I had 1,880 calories yesterday, the last 500 or so due in large part to my 2:30am excursion. When i'm sick and my stomach feels empty, I feed it. And feed it I did, with bread products that will most likely hang around for a couple of days. At least I stayed away from the cheese. Usually when I get sick like this, I turn to my favorite foods, and cheese is one of them. But the dairy product makes me feel even worse (although at the time i'm eating it, that doesn't seem to matter). Anyhow, this time I managed to avoid the huge block of cheddar sitting in the top shelf of the fridge. I could even describe - in detail - the wrapping on the cheese, that's how often I look at it every time I open the fridge door.
So this morning I asked bf to please call and wake me up as I was going to miss my gym workout in favor of more sleep. Well, he did. Ten minutes before I had to be at work! So more sleep I definitely got, but I have a nagging suspicion that I might not make it through the day....
- Tuesday Aug 29, 2006
It was a good weekend - quiet but yet not so quiet that the silence drove me insane.
Dinner was chicken with rice and cooked veggies and afterwards, of course, is when my emotional eating reared its ugly head. BF didn't come home until later on that night, choosing to spend his friday night with the boys. Since I haven't seen hide nor hair of him for the last few months, I guess I sort of assumed he'd want to spend some time together. Oh well. So I went uptown, rented some movies and bought a bag of snack mix, which I put quite a dent in on Friday night. I hit the gym in the morning though, with my weight workout, and took the dog for an hour long hike, so I don't feel quite as bad about the snack mix as I probably should.
Saturday was spent looking for another vehicle, one big enough for the two of us and the dog, and also looking for more room for the future. We did manage to find a Ford Explorer Sport and i'm picking it up today after work. Of course, here comes Mr. Emotional Eating again. This time it was to celebrate, but of course my stomach doesn't know the difference. Breakfast was a fruit bowl with coffee, lunch was another two servings of snack mix with cheese toast, and dinner was a chicken burger and two mini cherry strudels. I had two mugs of Mudslide with milk - that's probably the most dairy i've gotten in a long time! I totalled this day of calories to 2,230!!! Yikes! Without having done any exercise, this was a total waste of a day (other than finding a vehicle).
Sunday wasn't much better with calories, maxing out at 1,970. In the afternoon we took Chewy, a small cooler of refreshments and hit the tennis courts. We spent two hours playing hard, with me as the loser in every match except one. Once I could barely walk (the heat was getting to me - no really, it wasn't because i'm out of shape!!) we called it quits and I thankfully went back home to 'rest' by doing laundry and other household chores.
Monday's calories were 1,250 AND I went to the gym for my cardio workout. A much better day, but the weekdays usually are.
Right now i'm sitting at 510 calories and I think i'll consume around 600 more for dinner. I've already done the gym thing - weights today - but I don't think i'll make it for a walk tonight.
It's been busy at work the past couple of days. I have this Friday off but i've already booked the day full of appointments! Thank goodness one of them is to get some primping in at the local hair salon. I'm going to need the rest...
- Friday Aug 25, 2006
Grrr, I didn't get to walk the dog yesterday because bf took him out to the farm. I was so pissy when he got home around 7pm that I cleaned half the house in a frenzied fit of anger. At least the house is a lot cleaner than usual, although i'm pretty sure I broke the vacuum AND possibly a few loose cd's that were lying on the floor of the living room. I wouldn't leave MY cd's there, so they were probably bf's. I might hear about that later on this weekend when he notices.
I did end up having half a sandwich and the rest of the chef's salad yesterday for lunch. Then I had the other half of the sandwich after work when I realized that bf probably wasn't going to respect my request and bring the dog home. Then I made chicken breast with rice and vegetables and ate that, too. I was close to finishing off the 10 or so popsicles sitting in the fridge (do you think I have a problem with emotional eating?!!) but fought off the urge and didn't have any, took a bath and went to bed instead. God, I just felt like bursting into tears last night. Today I know that it's just part of the game of life, but at the time it sure did hurt my feelings!
There are so many things that I want to accomplish and it feels like bf and I are on opposite teams. All I want is to replace some windows before winter, fix up the bathroom so that it's not embarassing to have people over, and generally do some cosmetic touches around the house. All he wants to do is fix his truck and talk about accomplishing everything! Such a procrastinator. Apparently I still have some issues with my anger from yesterday, so maybe I should just stop now and hope that I get over it by the time he gets home from work today.
This morning I really wanted to sleep in an extra half an hour, but made myself get up and go to the gym. I walked and jogged on the treadmill, then did my weights. Again I ate a large breakfast of rye toast and eggs. I have leftover chicken breast with rice and veggies for lunch that i'm already starting to salivate over. It must be the big morning breakfast that's making me so hungry - i've never been this hungry in the mornings.
- Thursday Aug 24, 2006
Last night involved a hike with Chewy for 45 minutes out in the bush, which was amazingly fun. It's interesting how I forget so quickly the fact that I love just being in the outdoors; how sunsets, wind and silence looks and sounds and feels. Lovely, perfectly lovely.
I had a turkey sandwich for dinner with chef's salad.
This morning I went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical, the recumbant bike, and did some floor exercises. I had a big breakfast of rye toast and eggs, and i'm already gunning for 12:00 so that I can eat some more. I know there's a sandwich already made, just sitting in the fridge calling my name - and there's still leftover chef's salad too. My plan is to eat it all. Yes, i'm hungry today.
In other news, it's a generally good day today (knock on wood). I almost can't believe it. I was relatively busy this morning, which makes the days go by so much faster and i'm glad for it today because I got home fairly late last night from my boyfriend's fastball game. BTW, we won! So that's it, they're the league champs and got a huge trophy to carry around with them and everything. Very proud of them, they really brought it all to the table and made that game something to watch. BF was doing badly in the beginning with his hitting, but after I showed up 20 minutes late, he really started cranking those singles.
I forgot - I had a beer last night with the team. Then I took off out of the bar before someone could buy me another one....
- Wednesday Aug 23, 2006
I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought myself a chicken salad sandwich on ww for dinner. I was craving it and didn't really want to make it myself. I also picked up a tray of veggies that we seem to be munching on so far, so I might continue this easy alternative. Along with that I also had a small container of potato salad. I must be craving miracle whip! Or a miracle, and my crazy mind is distorting it into food. I chomped down two fat free popsicles as well.
I took Chewy for a long walk yesterday and had a good talk with him. He stuck close to me during the walk - I think he was scared he would lose me. I promised to pay more attention to him and he wagged his tail and motioned for me to hurry up and walk faster. It was so warm outside that when we finally got home my clothes were soaked right through and I was actually warm (i'm usually always cold). Anyways, he stayed mostly right behind me, often bumping his head into my legs. I am going to start showing him how to get home from different points in town. I'm hoping that if he catches an area's scent he'll be able to find his way home, if he ever gets lost again.
This morning I woke up early and went to the gym, worked on the treadmill and did my weights. I like the early morning workouts but we'll see how long I can go before it burns me out. I've never been a morning person.
Breakfast was a cup of peaches in syrup and a bite or two of leftover mac n' cheese. Lunch was leftovers.
- Tuesday Aug 22, 2006
I really think that everytime I log back onto DietDiaries, things in my life start going wrong....
I had a slo-pitch wind-up on Saturday and although the wind-up itself was awesome, some other events of the night were not. My boyfriend and I set up tent in the park, where we were holding the bbq party. To make a long story short - my boyfriend was terribly ill all over the inside of our tent and I got a little pissy with him and walked home, leaving Chewy with him. The next morning bf anxiously confessed that he had lost Chewy sometime in the night. We spent five hours looking for him, thinking the worst had happened. I finally gave up, trying to accept the fact that we were probably not going to see him again. And then God stepped in - yesterday the dog catcher phoned and said she had found him about two blocks away from our house, sitting in the middle of the street. He seems to be a little angry with us for leaving him alone so long, and I don't blame him one bit. For the last few days i've been wishing that my life would be boring; that nothing like this would happen; I could even handle nothing extremely good happening as long as nothing this terrible runs through my life again. Isn't it just like a knife in the heart to have to think of anyone or anything suffering through two lonely days like that? And I think I can't be a very good dog owner if the only dog i've ever owned is only 2 years old and we've lost him twice now? TWICE.
Yesterday my boyfriend had another fastball game, so no exercise. I ate some leftovers for lunch and got a chicken sub for dinner from Subway.
Maybe in a couple of days there will be a bright, sun-shiney story to tell!
- Friday Aug 18, 2006
Oh, i'm so glad it's Friday! I always feel so exhausted after the week is over and I agree with one of borntocry's comments - how does anyone manage to do ANYTHING on the weekends after five whole days of work!!!
Tuesday: I went to the gym and jogged on the treadmill. It was such a crazy day that I only managed a few minutes and walked the rest of the time. For some reason, I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I did 20 balance ball crunches, opted against weights and headed home.
Wednesday: My boyfriend had a ball game so I didn't make it to the gym or do any exercise.
Yesterday: I went to the gym, jogged and walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes, did 20 balance ball crunches and weights. Again I didn't do as much jogging as I wanted, but it sure was better than Tuesday.
We took Chewy for a walk after supper too, that took about an hour because the Bylaw Officer stopped us on the way home to give us heck for leaving Chewy off his leash. It's funny thinking back on it now - Chewy usually walks with us very well without the lease and won't escape into someone's yard or go running after another dog. As soon as the "white truck" (as we've dubbed it) pulled over next to us, Chewy took off across the street. I had to go running after him, leash trailing behind me, as my boyfriend took the rap from the Bylaw Officer. At the time I was extremely ashamed and embarassed, but now I keep picturing myself running after this huge dog, yelling at him to stop, leash streaming out from underneath my jacket, plastic bags falling out of my pockets and Chewy prancing around like he's just won over the heart of the world!
By 9:30pm I was crawling up the stairs and into bed, the dog following closely behind me. We were pooped, him and I.
- Tuesday Aug 15, 2006
I can see that i've missed a lot of time in here - it has flown by so quickly that I can't remember the last time I even logged on to read your journals, nevermind commenting in my own.
Since January i've prepared and taken a trip to Scotland and the Netherlands, moved jobs three times, was maid of honour in my best friend's wedding and enjoyed the company of my brother's twin girls, who are now six months old! Weekends were spent playing ball, watching ball, and eating ball - with the occasional jaunt to the lake for rest and relaxation. Anyhoo, i'm attempting to make an entry so that my enthusiasm for living healthy can be re-enforced. So here I am! I've missed reading your entries and can't wait to catch up with you - I feel quite embarassed that i've been gone this long.
I've started in a new gym, for women only, and it's perfectly lovely. It's got everything I need, and along with walking the dog and going kayaking and rollerblading I am getting tons of exercise in. I also have a new workout partner. Not so much partner as competitor - we rant and rave at each other when one is doing better than the other! She has already saved me by dragging my butt off the couch and making me go to the gym.
K y'all, talk to you later.
- Wednesday Jan 25, 2006
Aha, two days in a row.
1 cup coffee with milk and sugar, over 4 litres of watery iced tea, 2 cups brown rice, 4 oz sirloin tip steak with cooked veggies. Possibly raw veggies with dip after my workout. Exercise: Gym - jogging 15 minutes out of 30 total. Also 10 minutes on the stairclimber at level 3.