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legcramps - Friday Oct 27, 2006

Weight: 0.0

I find it so ironic that when I have a spare moment to write another entry, I always seem to be hit with something or other and i'm sure it's making me sound like a baby who has a terrible immune system and a really horrible life of laying on the couch and only rolling over far enough to reach the remote control.

I am sick again today, but am going to persevere and work through it. Hallowe'en is coming up and I want to be healthy - or as healthy as I can be, anyways.

I started going to kickboxing classes again after my bout of flu - that is going well although I must remember to take it easy until my coughing ceases. I am still on the fruit kick but have to kick my cheese habit because i'm buying a block of cheese every two days for goodness sake.

Anyways, just had a moment and wanted you all to know that i'm still here whether you want me or not (!) and I hope you are all doing well.

All the best. Happy Hallowe'en!

borntocry on 10/27/2006:
Well, can't speak for everyone but I want you here! It is quite funny that you only have time for us when you're sick and can't do anything else, hehe!

Happy Halloween!

mattscat3295 on 10/27/2006:
Happy Halloween. I hope you get to feeling better soon. I know there is alot of crud going around right now, and you need to get some rest and take care of yourself. I hope you have a wonderful, restful weekend, take care.

legcramps - Monday Oct 16, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Ah, flu season. And it had to hit me when I was already down. At least I was prepared and totally expected this. But although I pounded the vitamin C and Echinacea and practically drank NyQuil all night, that darn virus has still found its way into my already badly shaken immune system. And now my question is: How much fruit can a fruitcake eat?!!!

Okay, so i'm not exactly on top of things intellectually - pardon my seriously awful jokes, but i'm wallowing in fluid creeping out my nose and spraying god knows what out my mouth everytime I sneeze. Bad jokes are about all I can manage right now.

Seriously, I am much better than I was. Now that the cold I started with is lodged deep within my chest, I am more able to breathe correctly and therefore get more than a few hours of sleep each night. And that means I can enthusiastically greet the flu-bug with a little of my own medicine. That being the couch. And a blanket. Add a box of kleenex to go and let the pity party begin.

My body has been sufficiently cleaned out and yet I can't seem to rid myself of this evil influence. And though i've waited more than a week to ride it out, i'm coming close to the end of my rope. I offered my bug to my boyfriend but for some reason he doesn't find the idea all too appealing. And i've run out of people to blame.

As I zone out for the night, I will say that i'm keeping very well to my diet since i've been suddenly forced to eat all the fruit in the grocery store and bf has kindly made soup and stew with most of the vegetables he can conveniently name. Although there isn't much exercise happening here, i've effectively broken the record for number of seconds it takes to walk around the house before clear fainting from lack of oxygen. I know, I know, it's not funny...

maria777 on 10/16/2006:
I hope you feel better soon! Hang in there! You'll get better!

Have you tried Campbell's chicken noodle soup? That's good for colds, etc., and you don't have to eat the noodles, just sip the broth after you add 1/2 can water and heat it up. Also, do you have a vaporizer by your bed? Keep it going at nite while you are sleeping. If you don't have one, they are pretty inexpensive and you only need put water in them. They keep moisture in the air.

smiley2 on 10/17/2006:
Well at least you are keeping a positive attitude through all this, which is pretty cool :) I hope you feel better soon, just take it easy and PLEASE no exercise!

WorkingIt on 10/17/2006:
Feel better soon!!! If that chest congestion doesn't break up within a day, go to the doctor! You don't want pneumonia, and that is also going around!

legcramps - Wednesday Oct 04, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Tuesday: 1820 calories, no exercise.

Wednesday: I'm not done yet! But so far around 1000 calories. And yes, I went to kickboxing tonight.

I felt so much better after writing my emotional entry the other day. I did go right to sleep, but fell asleep quickly and slept very soundly the whole night through. There are some viruses going around and chances are i've felt the corner of one of them and simply am hideously feeling sorry for myself and perhaps a little out of sorts. These classes - anything that forces me to get up and do something - are really saving me right now. It's just incredibly hard to realize how much they can impact my mood. If I would have gone on Monday, I doubt very much I would have been in such a mood to write such an entry. I'm still not up to snuff and am still feeling a little sorry for myself, but better to live through it rather than ignore it until it goes away. I guess I need to find my own harmony before trying to accomplish something I can't help but keep destroying.

Thank you ladies for your kind thoughts and comments, it feels truly awesome to know that you are right there with me and if anyone will hold me accountable, you will. I have a habit of taking things for granted - so big hugs from me to you!

So, in the end, i'm still here. And none the worse for wear, in fact. While doing ab work tonight I noticed that my stomach is quite flat and my legs are muscled and strong. I should notice these things more often - the feel instead of the number, right?!

borntocry on 10/06/2006:
I could have guessed you'd be really toned what with all the sports you do! Glad to see you're feeling better. Get some rest this weekend - it'll help you fight off any potential viruses!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I know exactly what you mean about the goal-reward system. The rewards must be things I really want or need - but the more I want or need them, the more likely I am to just end up getting them anyway! So that won't work. I'll just have to take the day-by-day approach instead. Thanks!

sweetpea1977 on 10/11/2006:
I totally agree - the whole point about being healthy is the way you feel, not the number. Dont ever allow yourself to become a slave to the scale! :o)

Hope you are feeling better!

legcramps - Tuesday Oct 03, 2006

Weight: 0.0

I stayed under 1500 calories up until Sunday. Dreadful Dunday. That's right - Done Day. Actually, that was a typo, but it seems to fit well.

I am in my downward spiral, which I knew would be approaching sooner or later. I feel crappy, and it's starting to show. I'm snapping at my boyfriend even though he buys me flowers for no reason; I don't want to be at work even though I love it and it pays the bills; I'm falling asleep by 8pm every night right through until morning and even then I don't want to wake up. It's 7:30 right now and i'm getting ready for bed - let's be honest, I already AM ready for bed.

I hit 2500 calories on Sunday. Then I weighed myself Monday night and although I should have known better, it depressed me to no end. So I skipped kickboxing class and wallowed in self-pity. All while stuffing my face to the point of nausea. Oh God, how my life is contingent upon a number. I'm so melodramatic. This morning I was going to turn it around. But by 10am I was dragging my butt around, only doing the things that needed to be done instead of looking forward to every challenge as I normally do. My friend is sick right now; when she stopped in to say 'hello' as only a good friend would, I spent the whole 10 minutes of her time complaining about how I don't feel good. Don't feel good? What a crock. I simply want to be coddled and pitied and not held accountable.

Tonight I watched a weight loss show on t.v. And for a moment there, a very fast moment, I wanted to show myself that I can get through this. And I pulled over the chair in the living room and did 63 step ups onto it in 2 minutes. Alas, upsetting myself once again by not being able to reach 66 steps - a number i'm pretty sure I pulled out of thin air. I then found a cookie. Good thing there was only one left.

Going to sleep now can only be a good thing - it means that I won't pull open the fridge door to check for leftovers and it means I won't drive my vehicle to the nearest gas station for chips or pop or chocolate.

Tomorrow night there will be another kickboxing class and as i've already begged a friend of mine to make me go, I can't see myself missing another class. You see, it's not that I want to miss these classes, it's not that I want to eat to the point of exhaustion. There is just something inside me saying 'you are not good enough, and I will make you fail'.

WorkingIt on 10/03/2006:
Do not feel as if you are alone or walking this path alone. We are all prone to diet set-backs simply because we've spent a good part of our lives thinking we aren't good enough. The key word is 'thinking'. Because we ARE good enough, we just need to learn to treat ourselves better. Give yourself permission to feel like crap for a little bit so that you can explore the reasons why. But don't fall into the same numbing reflex action that you are used to when depression hits, which is eating everything in the house and the negative self-talk. I find that when I get into these ruts, it is a cue that it is time for me to change my expectations and tweak my program..if it be diet or exercise or both. The key is to allow yourself these moments and remind yourself that not only do you have a body to heal, you also have a soul that needs healing. Sometimes we don't have the energy to focus on both. As long as you don't slip back into massive eating..it isn't going to hurt you to let go for a little bit. Always keep in your mind that you are taking a break to focus on your mental health which is equally important as your physical...and then remind yourself that overeating isn't going to make you feel any better. You will find the balance that you need in order to help yourself feel better all the way around. That something inside you saying that you aren't good enough and you will fail..is you. And that is what we have conditioned ourselves to believe and when we get te blues..those old emotions can surface and feel very powerful. Allow yourself to feel them, but do it as the new you in control, not the old you. =)

smiley2 on 10/04/2006:
I was also obsessed by the number on the scale once.....that was until i decided not to weigh myself anymore. It ruined my days and made me depressed. Now i go by how my clothes sit and how good i feel. I havent weighed myself in months, but i feel good, because i know i make healthy choices where i can. I will weigh myself again one day, but until then, its definately something i can recommend!

borntocry on 10/04/2006:
It sounds like you're a little depressed, friend! I know what you mean about going to bed so you won't spend the night eating. I've done that, and it's a pretty good idea sometimes. I've also done that thing where I say I'm not feeling well even though there's nothing wrong with me physically, just so that other people will feel sorry for me and be nice to me! And that works, too. But maybe you could also try to think of things you can do for yourself to make yourself feel better. Sometimes I do stuff which I used to enjoy when I was younger but don't really have the time for any more, like reading. Or I do stuff which I've stopped doing because of my husband, like watching soap operas or medical dramas, or lighting incense or scented candles. I also really like shopping for health food, online or in real life. Okay, you may not share these bizarre hobbies of mine but I'm sure there's something which makes you feel good! Otherwise, just ride it out. You can't really avoid times like these... all you can do is try to make it pass quicker. But it will pass, you know it!

legcramps - Thursday Sep 28, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Tuesday: ? calories (didn't bring my book with me, but I know it was under 1500, possibly even under 1400), walked the dog for one hour. It's so much fun taking the dog for walks when we don't have to leash him - we take him later at night so that there's less of a chance meeting up with other dogs that may not like him. Anyways, we walked the regular route and Chewy rather likes to fall behind us, then run and catch up, and over and over. Once again we ran away on him and hid behind a tree. This time he was over to us in a flash - he must be catching on to our little trick. At least it ensures he is always aware of where we are, although i'm sure our jovial 'messing with his head' routine is making him frustrated!!

Wednesday: 1470 calories, or 1440 calories, something like that. I even had some room for popcorn during a rented movie last night, although I probably shouldn't have eaten past 8pm - isn't that a golden rule??? Went to kickboxing and found it suprisingly and pleasantly moderate instead of the usual extreme workout. Time to step it up to the next level I guess. The parts that make my head want to blow apart are the leg and upper body exercises at the end of the workout. My arms feel like jello today.

Again will be another night off from exercising. I might try to do some reading. I bought 2 mystery/horrors while in the city, both written by the same author. I've read one so far and found it fairly good, so i'm looking forward to the other one. If I could remember the author's name i'd tell 'ya, but I can't. She's written three books so far, all mysteries, about ghosts and psychic powers and apparently i'm into them...

ima2hefty on 09/28/2006:
I wish I could walk my dogs without a leash! Sounds like a fun game you play with yours lol. Good job on the calorie counting and the kickboxing, just dont hurt anyone lol

WorkingIt on 09/29/2006:
I HATE leg day! LOL I don't think there is a golden rule about eating past 8 pm lol

Enjoy your books!

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 26, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Thursday: 1120 calories, gym

Friday: 1340 calories, no exercise (went out of town for the weekend to visit some relatives)

Saturday: 1970 calories, went rock-climbing and it was so much fun!!!!

Sunday: 2760 calories, no exercise. Didn't expect my mother and grandmother to come by and take us out for supper. I wasn't about to say no, because we have an ongoing argument about how much time I spend with my family. I got the fish and chips and only ate half of it, but that still pumped up my calorie count for the day. I was also extremely thirsty today and drank countless glasses of kool-aide. Water just wasn't making its debut.

Monday: 1400 calories, kickboxing and yoga. I almost threw up during the kickboxing workout, really worked myself a little too much. I don't know how these girls can giver heck for so long...I guess i'm either getting old or my stamina just isn't what it used to be! Eventually, though, i'll get there and i'll be able to keep up with the Jones'. haha.

I'm taking tonight off for exercise and doing the household things that I didn't get done on the weekend (groceries, dishes, laundry, blah blah blah).

We picked up Chewy from the farm when we got back into town and had to spend an hour giving him a bath. So the story goes, he got himself into a little predicament and ended up rolling around in it. If you can't imagine what 'it' might be, just think of horses and cows and pastures and what might be found in those pastures due to horses and cows digestive systems...evidently he was worn out from rolling around so much because when we finally got him home and cornered him onto a towel on the living room floor, he went straight to sleep. Unfortunately, this morning I woke up with him laying over top of my legs and in my efforts to stop the darn *buzzing* of the alarm without having the mobility of my legs I must've turned the thing off completely. I wasn't late for work, but I was pretty close to it. Just one of those days, today is.

smiley2 on 09/26/2006:
Im the only child and i usually feel compelled to see my parents on a weekly basis. We dont fight or argue about how much i see them but they give subconscious hints and that drives me that. So we avoid the topic and i see them against my will most of the times! Good job with the kickboxing and other than Sunday, your calorie intake was pretty within normal limits.

borntocry on 09/27/2006:
The party never stops with Chewy, does it?

You're doing great with exercise - don't beat yourself up for taking a day off every now and then. You need rest days when you're doing such vigorous cardiovascular exercise. Your muscles have to heal and recover in time for the next session. Take it from me - I have paid the price for two hard days in a row.

sweetpea1977 on 09/27/2006:
Chewy sure is an interesting character!

Good for you on taking a day off from exercise every now and then. Your routine is quite intense, so your body deserves a break in order to recover.

WorkingIt on 09/27/2006:
LOL Dogs, what a riot! I had one that rolled all over a dead fish and we didn't find out until she was back in the car..PHEW!

Don't worry about a couple days lag..you will get back on track!

legcramps - Thursday Sep 21, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Yesterday's calories: 1470

Exercise: none

The stubborn mule in me refused to do anything in the way of exercise yesterday. No excuses, right? Wrong. I am the Queen at excusing myself from doing things. I may feel a little guilty about it, but that won't last long. Good thing bf didn't want to do anything but fall asleep watching a movie last night, though I bet Chewy didn't like that idea at all.

I know I have some habits that I need to change. I just need a few tweaks. And i'm speaking generally; I need a few tweaks in every facet of my life. I can now fully realize that my problem areas are when i'm overly excited, happy, depressed, foul, etc. I'll have my fresh starts every so often and i'll screw things up every so often. I'm okay with that. I'll have those a-ha moments and give it all i've got for a month or two, and then i'll plunge back into my lazy habits. As long as i'm balancing out between the two and reaching goals i've set, it will all work out okay. RIGHT?!!!

Gym today after work, if my hips will allow.

ima2hefty on 09/21/2006:
It is hard for me to make myself do exercise too. Sometimes I tell myself I will just lay in the floor and stretch, walk outside, or hop on my bike for just 5 minutes. By that time my body has warmed up and I end up working out or taking a walk. Yes, I have to trick myself into working out...

breakaway on 09/21/2006:
Just here to say HI! Hope your week goes well.

WorkingIt on 09/22/2006:
Sweetie, you are HUMAN. Don't beat yourself up for not being a machine. =)

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 20, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Friday: 1320 calories, no exercise

Saturday: 2180 calories, no exercise

It wasn't that I was hungry and ate all day, moreso that I went out for breakfast (as is usually the case on the weekends) with my boyfriend and had an extra large meal that I don't usually have. And forget about cutting calories for the rest of the day. I don't care what anyone says - when you're in the habit of eating certain amounts at certain times throughout the day, it's incredibly hard to change. I figure this is something i'll just have to work around. Kind of like LIFE, huh.

Sunday: 2590 calories, no exercise

Again, that darn breakfast ruined my day. As well, Sunday nights are my other temptation, when we get the chance to sit down together and hash out the weeks' activities. We ordered in this time - it's not a usual circumstance though, so this will be something I can learn to control a little better.

Monday: 770 calories, kickboxing and yoga

I did actually make it to the yoga class on Monday night. Wow. I didn't think it would be as difficult as it was. My ignorance sure caught up with me these last few weeks! It was incredibly relaxing though, especially with the lights turned down and soft music playing. I loved it! Hope it will continue...

Tuesday: 1280 calories, gym

The treadmill kicked my butt and I could feel my hip joint starting to wedge its way out of its' socket as I was running. 47 minutes later I decided that it just wasn't important anymore and that floor exercises were really what I wanted to do.

I'm really sore today. Like I mean, really sore. If I stay put and sitting for more than 10 minutes I have trouble standing up off my chair. I'm tired, cranky and exhausted. And, of course, busy. I haven't stopped until now, the only thing carrying me forward is the chocolate-zuchinni muffin a co-worker ever so graciously forced on me. And gosh, was it good. I'm looking forward to chicken or salmon tonight, rice and some much needed vegetables. And no exercise. Thanks anyways.

WorkingIt on 09/20/2006:
I don't know how many calories you are limiting yourself to..but look at your intake this way...

OK, you have recorded the last five days of calories..you've eaten 6980 calories..if you limit yourself to 1300 a day - you would have eaten 6500 calories..if you limit yourself to 1500 a day - you would have eaten 7500 calories. Plus you had exercise above and beyond the calories that your body naturally burns. You may see a little increase in your weight from water retention, but as long as you get back on track and stay on track..you are doing fine! Just remember that you can't keep doing this and you may want to just avoid those previous lifestyle habits, until you can eat one big meal and then portion yourself for the rest of the day. A good way to do this is to give yourself permission to have one meal a week where you eat whatever you want, including cake! Eat whatever you want for that ONE meal, ONCE a week..and you will see a big difference. That is what I had to do when I was starting. Good luck! ***HUGS**

smiley2 on 09/21/2006:
Habits are extremely hard to break, especially when you have to restrict your foods. I think you should just try and modify, not totally restrict yourself. Maybe come to a compromise with your B/F that you go our for breakfast on weekends once every 3 weeks or so. Why then not make breakfast together at home on weekends. You can still eat yummy stuff but its much easier to eat less calories then. Some things i usually make for us, just suggestions: Brown bread french toats with honey or eggs and bacon with toast with grilled tomato and mushroom. Its still filling, but not as fried as some places like Denny's or IHOP or whatever. You really kicked butt with the exercise...keep it up!

legcramps - Friday Sep 15, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Wednesday: 1470 calories; kickboxing class

Thursday: 1670 calories; no exercise

Kickboxing was much easier this time around - not as much lunging and kicking although i'm sure that will start up again on Monday's class. After this class was the stability ball and because I didn't have one, I just sat around and watched for a few minutes. I should have one in time for next week, as long as there's still a class. It's funny - as soon as I decide to sign up for these extra classes, the instructor decides she might not have them. So I may never get to try Yoga! We'll see on Monday I guess.

Not much planned for the weekend, I hope to sit around and be lazzzzzy and sleep a lot. Next week will be another busy one, so i'm really going to need my energy.

That's it for now - Have a great weekend everyone!

WorkingIt on 09/16/2006:
Whenever I read your kickboxing entries I want to go to the gym and get after it again LOL. Great job! Have a great weekend yourself =)

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 13, 2006

Weight: 0.0

Hello all:

My calorie total for yesterday was 1430 and I added on a walk with the dog later at night for 200 cals burned. I'm still very sore from kickboxing, but i'm still going tonight!

We tried to hide on Chewy during our walk but the sucker sniffed us out. So he may be almost blind but he can sure use that nose!! At first I could barely hold my laughter because he was so desperately looking for us. I guess that's not very funny, is it, given the last encounter we've had with our runaway. Okay, i've slapped myself on the wrist for that comment, now let's move on. He was running back and forth and back and forth, finally finding us hiding behind a pine tree - then he had to sniff out the tree and make sure it was 'okay' for us to be there!! You may think I laugh far too much at my puppy, but having a 70lb black labrador, you'd think it was funny too. And when he looks at you with those big, dark, puppy dog eyes it's extremely hard to hold down the bubbling joy that rises and swallow the temptation to take hold of him and squeeze really tightly.

I was supposed to have a ball meeting tonight but i'm feeling rotten about some of the members and have decided that my priority is kickboxing class! Ha Ha! You just lost your recorder! For just this one meeting, anyways...

WorkingIt on 09/14/2006:
Yay for you on the exercise and calories! LOL Chewy sounds like a loveable kind of guy...dogs are fantastic companions!

sweetpea1977 on 09/14/2006:
Chewy sounds like an oversized and adorable teddy bear! Thanks for the cute story!!

How is kickboxing going for ya?

smiley2 on 09/15/2006:
I love Labradors and by being black it even makes him more unique, cause they are usually a golden or lighter colour arent they? He sounds too cute for words! Thats why i love animals so much, you can make comments about them being black and white and its always ok, cause they will never be racist. I think you will enjoy this quote, i have it on my page at myspace.

"A dog is not "almost human" and i know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. "

Hope you have a good weekend.

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