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legcramps - Friday Aug 26, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 136.0

Yes, thanks to grandma's wonderful cooking I have gained a bit. Yes, i'm blaming someone else for my problems again.

food: I have a rather large cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I will take it one item at a time.

exercise: What is exercise?

Yesterday it seems I was pushed to my limit and literally cracked. All I wanted to do was sleep and be alone. And that's exactly what I did. You have no idea and don't want to hear about the lengths I went to in order to get that alone time. I think everyone must be angry with me today, but I really don't care.

What I should have done was gone for a nice long walk to the track, then ran a few lengths. But that is not what I did. All I can say is that yesterday was not the most constructive for me, nor was it the most motivating day. In fact, it was so UNmotivating that I simply wasted my night doing nothing.

Today my goal is to head to grandma's to look at a dress from my mother's era that could possibly be re-staged and fitted for me to wear. This might enhance the day just a tiny bit. My goal is to be positive throughout every comment, every look, every heart-stopping objective moment. I am also hoping that not being alone with my boyfriend will be somewhat relaxing. Isn't that sad?

borntocry on 08/26/2005:
Hi legcramps,

Everyone has the right to some time alone! Don't worry about all those people being mad at you - you can make it up to them some other time, when you're in a more charitable mood.

Thanks for your comment. Does spicy food really speed up one's metabolism? It seems to make me feel full faster, but maybe that's just because I can only eat so much of it. The tikka-flavoured beans are part of a <a href="http://www.heinzbeanz.com" target=_blank>new line of Heinz baked beans</a>. Their other flavours are Jalfrezi, Mexican, Sweet Chili (that sounds good!) and something called One Mean Mother (!?). Don't know if they're available in Canada, but they're in the regular grocery stores in England.

Well, I hope the dress fitting goes well. And take some time to relax and collect your thoughts this weekend!

legcramps - Thursday Aug 25, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 135.5

I can feel my patience running thin.

Yesterday was exactly the way I said it would be.

food: i'm going mad. coffee. granola bars. i'm too angry to eat and yet I don't really know why I should be so angry.

exercise: i'm close to giving up on jogging. Everything else just always seems to get in the way. And i'm so exhausted that I can barely breathe properly just sitting here typing. Well, that might be because i'm holding my breath. I do that when frustrated.

Okay, so this week has GOT to get better, right? I mean, I haven't had a really happy entry for a while. I'm fighting with everyone to the point of crying and I don't cry easily and i'm not sure why i'm arguing so much. I was upset yesterday because I felt that my boyfriend wasn't treating me with respect, then he turned something around on me and ended up being the victim. I had to address his problems before he'd address mine, and then it didn't even get to that point because I was so pissed off that I just went to bed. Why is everybody always picking on me?!! *pouty face*

When it comes right down to it, i'm doing this to myself and I need to snap out of it. My life will only be positive if I make it that way and accept absolutely nothing negative. There are two voices in my head arguing this very point at this very moment. The voice of moral, and the lazy little bugger.

I read in a paper yesterday:

Free: puppies. 1/2 cocker spaniel and 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. Parachute for sale: Never Opened. Used Once.

Runner on 08/26/2005:
Hey, Legcramps! Sorry you're having a rough time...sometimes I just get in a funk myself and want to take out my frustration on everyone in sight! I usually have to bite my tongue so I don't do just that. Try to stay positive...I know it's hard, but a good attitude goes a long way.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you soon!

Thanks for posting the funny ads in the paper. I got a kick out of those!

borntocry on 08/26/2005:
Hi legcramps,

I'm sorry you've been in a bad mood lately. You know, my husband has a theory that once one gets used to regular exercise, one starts to get irritable and edgy if one skips a few days. He's noticed it in himself and he says he's even noticed it in me. Perhaps that could be the case for you, too?

I felt just like you a few months ago - that there was no point trying to keep up running as something or the other always got in the way. It would rain, or I'd have to work late, or my husband would ask me to go a movie with him after work. It was so frustrating! But it's different now. For one thing, I've noticed a change in other people's attitudes. My husband knows when I go running now and doesn't plan anything else at that time, any more than I would suggest that we do something together on one of his basketball nights. But more importantly, it's my own attitude towards running that has changed. After all, I always had the choice to say no to my husband and go running anyway. What made it so frustrating was the fact that I could so easily be tempted into doing something else. Now that running has become part of my routine, I don't even think about it. I plan my other activities around running, rather than trying to make time for running in between my other activities.

If you really have to give up running, so be it. But I think it would be a shame to let what seem to be mere annoyances get in the way of something which you are obviously quite good at!

legcramps - Wednesday Aug 24, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 135.5

I just cannot seem to catch up on the sleep that I lost on the weekend. Oi vei, help me!

food: leftover tortellini, salad, granola bar, coffee. Dinner at grandma's - the usual steak and potatoes. God help me, this has to stop.

exercise: I want to walk the dog and go for a jog, but cousins will want to play catch with a big air-filled ball in the backyard, or aunts and mothers will want to play cards for three hours in a stuffy, food-smelling kitchen full of baked goods. Or perhaps they will catch my voice dripping with sarcasm and insolence at every sentence flung my way and they'll leave me alone. Okay, that was mean. But quit filling my stomache with heavy, iron-laden foods that will only make me sick! And quit telling me that i'm different, wierd, or not all there because I choose to eat something you'd never dream of eating because it's too healthy! And don't sic your kids after me when i'm not feeling well because you stuffed me with too much food! YES! It IS your fault!

Okay, vent over.

I'm just ignorant and I only care about myself.

borntocry on 08/25/2005:
Hi legcramps,

I actually liked the sound of that stuffy kitchen full of baked goods! I know being around relatives can get exasperating, though. I've always been the weird and different one in my family. It was bad enough before I became vegetarian - that was really the last straw! And I haven't even told anyone about the running yet. They would find that bizarre beyond belief.

Hope it doesn't go too badly, though. And I hope you get some time on your own this weekend, so you can do some things for yourself, like catch up on your sleep!

legcramps - Monday Aug 22, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 135.5

I decided to not think about work this weekend, and although I did bring up the fact that i'd had a bad week to my fellow cabin-dwellers, I did not elaborate on it. It was a good weekend all in all, and this morning i'm feeling quite sore from all the bacci-ball that was played.

food: granola bar, salad, granola bar, turkey pastrami sandwich if I remember to buy bread after work.

exercise: I have a meeting tonight so unless we take the dog for a walk afterwards, there won't be much exercise. Besides, if you asked me right now i'd tell you to go where the sun don't shine because I can barely move. I'm looking more and more like a penguin, waddling through the hallways trying not to over exert. Over exert! Ha, more like trying not to move even the smallest of muscles, for example, my fingers. Which means that i'm going to stop typing now.

jolt on 08/22/2005:
Keep up the great work!


sweetpea1977 on 08/22/2005:
Im glad that you had a good weekend at the cabin. Im even happier knowing that you left your work behind!!

Im sorry about your sore muscles. The good thing about sore muscles though is knowing that you actually used them. :o) Give them some rest today, and they should be getting back to normal by the next day.

Have a good day!

legcramps - Friday Aug 19, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 135.5

Yesterday was a terrible day for me. I made a rather large error at work and kind of got reamed out over it, which almost put me in tears. No, i'm not a perfectionist, I just take criticism very badly. Anyways, from then on my day went from bad to worse. It was nice to go golfing after work, but I had so much on my mind that it was hard to let it all go out on the course. Ah well, it happens and I have to get over it. This morning is not starting out all that great either. We're renting a cabin this weekend with friends, and if I dare to take my work home with me it won't be a relaxing weekend at all. On the positive side, my back is not hurting at all today and my mind is clear enough to at least struggle through whatever today will bring!

food: 1 serving plain tacos, granola bar, salad, granola bar, ham and cheese sub 6" on brown. I might have some coffee as well. It's a coffee-drinking day I think.

exercise: we're on the road as soon as possible after work today, so no exercise for me, except for lifting a beer to my lips tonight.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! And thanks for the comments!

sweetpea1977 on 08/19/2005:
Thanks for the comment you left me. My dog will deeply appreciate the compliments you gave her. :o) Your dog sounds quite cute as well.

I too take criticism very badly and it ends up ruining my whole day. I think it had to do with the way I was brought up...thanks dad!

Anyway, leave your work at home and ENJOY this weekend. Perhaps go on a hike while at the cabin and finish the day with a refreshing beer. Have fun!

borntocry on 08/19/2005:
Hi legcramps,

What a coincidence - the same thing is happening to me at this very moment. I'm currently embroiled in a horrible crisis situation at work and debating whether or not to ruin my whole weekend by taking a bunch of print-outs home with me to pore over in a desperate attempt to find a solution. In fact I was getting so depressed about it that I thought I'd read a few entries to clear my head a bit. But no, you had to go and remind me!

I don't think you should take work home with you - you probably won't get anything done and it will just stress you out unnecessarily. Well, that's been my experience with bringing work home. I'd say go and have a fun weekend with your friends at the cabin, and then you'll go back to work refreshed on Monday morning and the criticism will just roll off you like water off a duck's back!

geevee on 08/19/2005:
Mull these ideas over. "As you think, so you feel." "Thinking makes it so."

Nothing is gained from negative thought, and though it isn't easy to do, concentrate on every positive you can and enjoy your weekend. You'll feel so much better.

legcramps - Thursday Aug 18, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 135.5

Well, since I am jogging more lately, i've also been eating more. I just can't seem to win!

I went jogging again last night, but could only do the same distance as the time before. But i'm okay with that. I waited a few days before going again, and that's most likely why it was harder for me. I could possibly have gone further, but I wasn't in the mood to push myself, and I was developing chest pains anyways. We went out for dinner yesterday after getting groceries and re-filling my prescription. I had a chicken burger with fries. I know, really, you don't have to tell me! Anyways, after that we walked to my grandma's to see some relatives, then took the dog for a jog.

food: 1 serving plain tacos, granola bar, salad, granola bar, chicken with cooked veggies.

exercise: As long as it isn't raining, i'm going golfing with some friends tonight. Among other things, but this will be a nice break from having to......think so much.

borntocry on 08/18/2005:
Hi legcramps,

I think you're doing great with the jogging. You can't expect to keep adding a lap every time you go. It's pretty amazing that you've managed to keep increasing your distance up to this point. And you may need to eat more now because your muscles are growing stronger and burning more calories. Personally I have found that running seems to decrease my appetite (or maybe it's just that the time I now spend running would normally have been spent sitting around at home eating!).

Thanks for the comment you left me, despite your mind not being all here!

Runner on 08/18/2005:
HI, legcramps! I agree with BTC...my appetite usually decreases with more running, although my brain likes to tell me that I deserve to eat more! So I often eat more calories than I actually need. I can't seem to win, either! But at least you are running...and the exercise is good for your body!

legcramps - Wednesday Aug 17, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 134.5

Not feeling well today. I slept through most of the night yesterday after work, with some Advil and a heating pad. My back is hurting considerably, so I don't know how much I can do. I also really need to get groceries for this weekend and re-fill a prescription before tommorow, so that might take up most of my evening tonight.

As usual, I am staggering under the pressure of having too much to do. I need to relax, list and prioritize, and then just do it. I know this, but my head is spinning and I can't make it stop!

food: granola bar, macaroni salad, coleslaw and caesar salad, one hot dog with cheese, a scoop of mocha ice cream (it was our staff appreciation bbq today), granola bar, chicken with cooked veggies.

exercise: I don't know...

legcramps - Tuesday Aug 16, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 134.5

Well, I went for coffee with a friend last night instead of going jogging, so even though it's cold as heck here today I want to hit the track later on.


food: coffee, diet pepsi, ham and cheese sandwich on brown, granola bar, chicken with cooked veggies.

exercise: jogging with dog

I'm so angry with my dog right now. This morning I woke up to a beautiful array of shredded paper in the computer room. He chewed up almost all of my books! My precious, precious books! I swear, he's lucky he's cute. Excuse my french, but he was crusing for punishment this morning. I blocked off the room now, but it's difficult to do that all the time because there is no door to the room and I have to put up the baby gate every time I leave the room. But, my books! I realize these are only material things and can be replaced, but it's not like I have all the money in the world to replace them and they were very precious to me. I cried this morning when I saw the room in the disaster it was in.

geevee on 08/16/2005:
Oh, dear! You can't have the dog destroying your books at will. He sounds like my grand-daughter when she was 1�-2yrs. old. She was a terror and still is.

You just have to train your dog like parents train children, or I ought to say "should" train children because my son is doing a terrible job.

legcramps - Sunday Aug 14, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 134.5

I thought i'd stop in and say hi to everyone since i'll be too busy tomorrow. So, 'hi'!!

The wedding was okay, I did a LOT of dancing and my boyfriend was so suprised that I was able to dance every song almost the entire night! I usually peter out after a few polkas. The only problem was getting far too dizzy after him spinning me around so much on the dance floor. Anyways, it was great to see some of my family and I hope to keep in touch with them all even though i'm terrible at keeping close connections with people.

We also got a little more info knocked around for our trip to Scotland in the spring next year. My goodness it will be expensive as all heck, but i'm sure it will be worth it. To me, anyways!

Okay, well i'd better get some sleep. Talk to you all hopefully on Tuesday!

P.S. - I am planning to jog again tomorrow night. One more lap hopefully!

legcramps - Saturday Aug 13, 2005
(It's called Reality Bites)
Weight: 134.5

Hi girls! Well, i'm off for the next couple of days, really have to watch what i'm eating while in the city.

Just wanted to update on the jogging front. I did make it to the track last night. Again, I could have kept running, but forced myself to stop and take it easy for now. I ran one more lap this time. I feel great about accomplishing even that much more! This time there was no pain, just a little pressure in the lungs for a couple of minutes. Of course, you'd think I was having a heart attack by the way I was breathing (or, should I say, gagging on my own saliva) but I was fine! Just knowing that i'm adding 400 meters each time I go makes it seem so rewarding.

Okay, that's all I wanted to say. Thanks so much for the comments, and have a great weekend!

borntocry on 08/13/2005:
Hi legcramps,

You're actually adding a whole lap every time you go? That's incredible! I knew you had it in you, though. I've always thought that with all the sports you play you must be incredibly fit. I know what you mean about the breathing, though. I used to worry that someone would call an ambulance for me! Even now, I sometimes find myself breathing very heavily when I run, and it isn't even when I'm particularly tired. My husband says he does it too, so maybe some people are just more prone to it than others.

Anyway, I'm so proud of you for what you're doing. I didn't improve anywhere near as quickly as you have. It took me months to get to the point where I could say something like "I could have kept running", or "there was no pain"! Well done, you!

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