- Tuesday Nov 23, 2004
Yesterday: 4pc ww bread, 1T margarine, 2T light ranch dressing, 1 can tuna, 12 or so baby carrots and about 3 pieces of cheese. Water - 2L!
Today: 12 baby carrots, 1 can tuna, some bean sprouts, a few cherry tomatoes, 1c lettuce, 2T light ranch dressing, 1pc ww bread, 4 to 5 pieces of cheese.
Water - 2L again.
The moment I looked at that big bag of Babybel cheese was the final breaking point for me. I've avoided cheese like it had the plague, only because I love it so much that i'd binge on it for sure. Well, simply looking at the bag and walking away while I was in the grocery store yesterday would have been much too difficult to do. I am trying as hard as I can to limit the intake each day, and when this bag is done I believe I will be able to breathe a little easier.
Yesterday when I got home from work I collapsed on the couch. I was pretty tired, but when BF came home, still managed to get my butt up and to the grocery store. BF went bowling, so I didn't have to worry about making dinner last night. When I got back from shopping, I made myself 1/2 a tuna salad sandwich, then took Chewie for a walk. Boy, was it ever cold outside! I think it went down to -12C. This morning it's at -10C. I can't wait until it gets down to -30C (sarcasm). Anyhow, after the walk I fell back onto the couch and went to sleep. BF came home after bowling and woke me up, then he took Chewie for a walk. I went to the fridge and started in on the cheese! When they got back, I stopped and decided to hit the sack. Thank goodness I stopped, because i'm sure I could've kept going on and on. A mixture of tiredness and boredom almost drove my resolve right out the window last night.
Something i've learned - don't keep trigger foods in the house. Ever. It's going to be a rough week.
- Monday Nov 22, 2004
Friday: 1pc ww bread with a teaspoon of margarine, coffee, tea, 2 tuna salad sandwiches, 1pc chocolate and a piece of gum. Water - what water?
Saturday: 3pc rye toast with butter, coffee, 6" ham and cheese sub on ww, 2oz roasted chicken, .5c mashed potatoes, 1c salad with ranch dressing, 1pc cheese pizza. Water - around 1L.
Sunday: 6" ham and cheese sub on ww, 1.5c fast food french fries with ketchup. Water - around 1.5L. I didn't eat much on Sunday because I didn't actually wake up until sometime in the afternoon. Yeah. It happens.
Today's Plan: 2pc ww toast with 1T butter, tuna salad sandwiches. Water - 2L?
I'm going to try hard again this week and hopefully another pound will come off soon. My objective this week will be to get some sort of exercise in everyday until next weigh-in. Sorry if i'm blunt today, still kind of out of it from the weekend shift.
Have a good one today!
- Friday Nov 19, 2004
I weighed again this morning and i'm happy to report that my weight has stayed at 130lbs for two days in a row!
Yesterday: 1pc toast and 1 mug coffee, tuna salad sandwich, another mug of coffee, turkey salad sandwich with 1c salad. We decided since we didn't have much time yesterday to just go out to eat. I got a turkey salad sandwich on rye bread and asked for salad instead of getting fries. I ate half of everything, then boxed it up and took it home. Later on, after volleyball, BF ate the other half of the sandwich, so all that's left is the salad. I'm kind of glad he did, because when I looked up the number of calories in a full turkey salad sandwich, it was over 400! I didn't need that, seeing as I ate half the salad as well, with creamy ranch dressing that was definitely not low in fat!
Water: let's not go there.
Today: 1pc toast with 1 mug of coffee, tuna salad sandwich (with only 1pc bread), not sure what to have for dinner, because we're on the move again today.
Water today: I don't know. I feel like crap. Well, not like crap, but I want some kind of excuse for not having to drink water today...
okay, 2.5L water.
Went for a walk with the puppy last night. Finally, after over an hour of walking, I said I was getting tired. BF decided to run home with the dog, grab the car and come back and pick me up. Hehe. Spoiled, huh?! Besides, the dog was still about as excited and ready to go as the moment we left the house. He needed a little more exercise than just walking, and BF is the only one of us that can actually straight out run for as long a distance it was to get back home. Okay, I bailed, but in retrospect, I still got a good walk in.
I'm going to set my next goal at 126lbs. This I think will be my final goal. I want to be in the range of 125-130.
Here starts my second final test. The biggest challenge will be maintenance WHEN I reach my new goal weight.
- Thursday Nov 18, 2004
Hahaha, I knew it, I knew it.....yep, made my goal!! **rapped whilst banging hands on desk and sending out major mojo to everyone in the office*
I had to weigh today because.....I just had to.
Yesterday: 2.5L water, 1pc ww toast with 1tspn light margarine, tuna salad sandwich on whole wheat with 1T light salad dressing because BF took the mayo to work with him, 2c salad with the other half of the can of tuna, 1T salad dressing. I also had a mug of coffee and 1/2 a mug of herbal tea. I don't know if it gets any better than that. Shhhh, don't tell me - i'm basking.
Today: 1pc ww toast with margarine, tuna salad sandwich and for dinner I think i'm going to make.....hamburger helper. Or, i'll eat my casserole leftovers and let BF get himself something for dinner. Or i'll make him hamburger helper and eat the rest of the casserole. I don't know yet.
Water: 2.5L, but i'm sick today (TOM), so I don't know how much of that i'll get down. That's always a problem around this time. Drinking water makes me feel more ill, and no one wants that.
I had a bad night of waking up, needing to be sick, taking advil, and fixing my heating pad. So far i'm doing well, and i'm going to stay optimistic about this and pretend TOM isn't even here. HA.
Chewie is doing great, geevee! We took him for a long walk last night when we got back from wallyball (took about 1.5hrs), through the park. We both ran with him for a bit even, so he really liked that. He's getting so big! (Sounds like i'm talking about a child!) Chewie is turning into a very good puppy. We've got him housetrained finally (we think), and he can sit, shake a paw, lay down, roll over and stay on command (of course, only when treats are in view). He's very aware of when we're angry with him though, and sometimes waddles (yes, he's still very clumsy on his long legs!) over to a dark corner and sulks for a bit. Oh! He can fetch too! I'm so happy, because now he'll get lots of exercise! All the exercise he wants - I could throw a ball around all day for him.
Ah, life is pretty good, even with the tough moments.
- Wednesday Nov 17, 2004
Yesterday: 2pc ww bread with a slice of ham and lettuce, 2 mugs herbal tea, 2 mugs coffee (weaker though, so my sanity is still intact), 1.5L water (oh boy), 3c lettuce with 3T light dressing, a taste of my chicken-broccoli casserole. I think this casserole is going to be a staple in my house. BF almost ate the whole pot. Yeah, pot and everything. Someone was hungry!
Today: 2pc ww bread, salad, casserole.
Water: 2.5L goshdarnit!
Just slacking on the water, but everything else is smooth. For now. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I bought a hazelnut coffee whitener the other day, and that's why i'm drinking so much coffee. It's too good! I can't stop myself.
Tonight I have wallyball. Tomorrow volleyball, and Friday wallyball again. I'm going to lose weight this week.
Have a great day all!
- Tuesday Nov 16, 2004
So yesterday BF was off work and made lunch and dinner for me. Aw, sweet, but come on i'm trying to diet!
Yesterday: 2c cream of broccoli soup (satisfied my cravings anyhow!), 1pc pepperoni pizza, a couple bites of a pork chop and 1/2c boiled potatoes. And I fell sadly short of my 3L of water minimum. I drank two big mugs of coffee because I found a really yummy hazelnut whitener, but that coffee kind of stumped my thirst for the rest of the day. That, and I was too busy flying off the walls to remember to drink water. You should have seen my shaking hands and darting eyes. Way too much coffee, legcramps. Take it easy on the coffee.
Today: I have bread at home now, so that's what i'm having at lunch because I miss it so. 1c soup, 1c salad with 1T light dressing and tea. I'm having roast chicken for dinner tonight most likely.
Water: 2.5L. Better not push my luck like I tried to yesterday.
I got a lot accomplished yesterday though. I'm recording my dad's old records onto cd's, and I got a big chunk of it out of the way last night. Plus, I did laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. Gotta be proud of those little things, you know?!
I have some work here to do this morning, so i'd better be off. I'll be back later to comment.
- Monday Nov 15, 2004
Looks like i'm going to be flipping between 130.5 and 132 for awhile, but that sounds a lot better than the 142 that I WAS.
Again, I apologize for my last entry. I was extremely upset and I just needed to tell someone. I would have looked a fool trying to explain something like this to anyone else. Let me just say that BF doesn't think i'm fat NOW, he was talking about if I would gain weight and weigh more than he does. He's the same height as myself and weighs around 150lbs. Probably around 11% body fat or something like that - not much fat there at all! I would have a long way to go if I were to gain to weigh more than he does, but he was simply trying to make a point. Something that I took the WRONG WAY, obviously!
We went out on Friday night and talked things through. It seems sometimes that BF is just a little less thoughtful than he could be. I think we both realized that we were going overboard with what we were saying to each other. I took things a little too hard, and he didn't even realize that what he was saying was the least bit insulting. A little ignorant of him, but nonetheless if you don't know you've done something wrong, how can you be sorry for it?
BF is a few years younger (yes, younger!) than I am, and so I think it just goes to show that there will be circumstances where those few years will definitely make a difference between our two philosophies. I for one really need to learn some patience.
So, in the end, BF apologized for seeming rude and cruel towards me, and I apologized for not thinking that he was only trying to open my eyes. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves without being knowledgeable of it. Maybe that was the kick I needed to stun me back into eating right. There was no reason to be getting A&W in the first place, but the past is the past and we won't dwell on it anymore!
I got nothing done this weekend besides getting out to all the bars and getting a headache from listening to overbearing bands. I wanted to make some long-distance calls to family, get some laundry done and some cleaning, and start my plan for the next week in regards to eating and exercising. Instead, I slept through the days and stayed awake through the nights, not knowing where I was getting those second and third winds from. Today I hope to accomplish: groceries, cook supper, laundry.
I'm attempting to up the water intake because i've been really good with 2.5L everyday. Today i'll try for 3L.
I'm craving broccoli soup today.
I'm so glad to crave such healthy meals instead of cheesies and junk food!
Oh, and i'm feeling much better than I was. I have no idea where that bout of sickness came from, but it was there and gone in the space of only a couple hours.
Thanks girls for all of your advice and comments. I can see how angry I was at the time. Now that BF knows how I felt about it, I can expect him to be a little more thoughtful in these instances. If he isn't, then we'll know that there's something else behind this than just miscommunication!
Have a great day all!
- Friday Nov 12, 2004
Well, with everything that's been going on, I forgot to weigh myself this morning. But I have a bad feeling about it anyways, so i'm glad I didn't. My day would be much worse I think if I did weigh myself.
Wednesday was crazy at work, but it didn't get much better afterwards. I had lots of errands to run and was generally in a blah mood all night. Thursday morning I woke up sick to my stomach, and after throwing up a couple of times, I went back to sleep for awhile. I got up in time for the moment of silence, but didn't make it to the service. Then BF was hungry, so we went to A&W drive-thru. We ordered, then the waitress asked if I wanted mine up-sized. I thought she was asking me if I wanted the combo meal (I got the grilled chicken burger combo), so I said 'yeah'. BF looked at me and started lecturing me on why I was ordering up-sizes when I wanted to lose weight. I tried to tell him that it was a mistake, but he didn't believe me. He actually thought I wanted to eat all those fries! So finally I became quite angry myself, and told him to 'lay off. If I chose to lose weight or gain weight, it's my decision'. He said something about my body and how i'd be hurting it, and I told him that if he was so worried about my body why was he letting me go out and drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes? So finally the truth came out. He says to me 'so you'd be okay with weighing more than I do?' with a disgusted look on his face. His whole problem was the fact that I would look ugly if I weighed more, and the thought of me weighing that much would be enough for him to not want to be with me! I was thoroughly angry by this time, and when we got back to his house, I took my up-sized drink and I threw it into the sink, and I shook out half my fries and left them in the bag. I ate my fries and burger in total silence, then went for a drive. I needed to cool off. I was still deranged when I got back after half an hour, so I stomped around the house picking up all my things and stuffing them into my bags. I closed up my guitar into its case and BF asks 'where are you taking that?'. I ignored him and kept on cleaning. I took all my stuff upstairs and set it beside the bed. Then I left the house again. This time when I came back, I was feeling a little better. I still didn't want to talk to BF though, so I just sat and read for a bit.
Anyways, the moral is how can I let someone talk to me that way? Someone that I want to be with always? Someone that I should respect and who should in turn respect me? BF shouldn't care so much what I look like. He only cares because of what people might say about him being with someone who is so big and fat and ugly. That is so absolutely immoral and ignorant and disgusting that it makes me sick just thinking about it! I'm so angry!
I haven't talked to him at all yet, besides the odd hello and goodbye. I really felt like going home last night, but I thought i'd give him a chance to talk about it. Of course he kept his lid shut because he always thinks he's right about everything.
Some days I feel like he's just so not worth my effort.
Sorry girls, I had to vent to someone.
Have a great weekend.
- Wednesday Nov 10, 2004
I'm really sorry about this guys, but because of the Remembrance Day holiday and my day off yesterday, i'm swamped and I can't write much until next week probably. Really sorry, i'll explain later! Take care!
- Monday Nov 08, 2004
Hi all, hope everyone had a great weekend. In answer to the questions about the broccoli casserole I made, I found the recipe at allrecipes.com (thanks borntocry!). It's made with rice and a spicy cheesesauce, but I used potatoes instead of rice, and cheeze whiz instead of spicy sauce. I needed to use up the cheese whiz.
Well, this week will be difficult as I haven't gotten groceries in awhile and I know that we need more chicken and more bread. But for the next couple of days it will be potatoes, potatoes and more potatoes. And when they're done i'll be all potatoed out for a good couple of months.
I did well over the weekend, but since we were out all the time it was difficult making good choices. We spent the weekend in the city with BF's two sisters. One of them lives there, but she doesn't have a lot (going to school) and we ate out all the time. I ended up getting nachos with chili and cheese on Friday night because I didn't feel like getting another salad. Saturday I started the day off with a blueberry bagel (only half of one), then a chicken sandwich for supper (with salad, not fries). Sunday was hardest because I drank way too much orange juice and chocolate milk, had a rather large breakfast (with hashbrowns), and purchased a bag of soy chips. All in all, I made better choices than I would have had I not been thinking about losing weight. And i'm doing good so far - checked the scale yesterday evening and I was 130.5. I had the dehydration thing going again yesterday though, so that's why i'm not too excited.
Today's plan: toast and butter, 1c broccoli casserole (the last of it), 2oz pork chops, the rest of the soy chips (about 100 calories), and 1c chocolate milk.
I also got a lot of exercise walking on Saturday. We walked for 5 hours, and most of it was fast-paced because we wanted to make sure we'd get to the next mall before all the stores closed!
BF and I took Chewie to the kennels over the weekend. Very nice place, with lots for him to do and see. He got his walks twice a day, and food and water and toys to play with. When we picked him up he was extremely happy to see us! He'd ripped apart one of his toys (apparently out of boredom), but other than that he was fine. Really excited to see us though. He wouldn't stop running in front of us and constantly jumped up and tried to lick our faces! It was very sweet!