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legcramps - Thursday Apr 30, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Running on fumes and just going through the motions...is it really only Thursday? This must be March 908th, right?

We had a board meeting last night, connected through teleconference (thank goodness it wasn't via video chat, because I was at home in my pyjamas by 4:30 p.m. yesterday LOL). It was a long couple of hours going through everything the hospital has been doing in the last seven weeks. It was like drudging up the most miserable memories from your childhood, and having to relive them all.

I did manage to prepare supper, watch the neighbour's kids play in the backyard, and enjoy a heaping cup of hot chocolate while on the call.

Had a hot bath afterwards and went straight up to bed.

This morning I did my usual yoga routine. Just going to work through the day the best I can. I'm not sure what i'll accomplish after work today, but i'm hoping I can do something. Anything other than nothing LOL.

Breakfast - coffee and oatmeal

Lunch - leftovers:  rice, veggies and either meatballs or chicken

Afternoon Snack - it might be a freezie

Dinner - I might make ribs tonight (with rice and veggies)

Evening Snack - not sure what this will be, I have a few peanut butter cookies to finish up so maybe that

Donkey on 05/01/2020:
"Going through the motions" -- THIS. YES. 100%. This describes EXACTLY how I've been feeling this week.

Oh that meeting sounds painful! I love that you were watching children play and drinking hot chocolate during the conference. That is self-preservation!

legcramps - Monday Apr 27, 2020

Weight: 0.0

I apologize for airing my laundry to everyone the way I did on Friday, and appreciate your comments and positive responses. I was really at my limit, you could probably tell.

I spent the weekend at home by myself. I just needed to re-set, and I am grateful to have the space and opportunity to do that. I have been having a lot of trouble with my lower back recently, so I took it easy on the workouts but continued with the yoga I have been practicing. I cleaned the whole house on Saturday. I mean, I probably didn't need to since my cleaning routine has been a daily occurrence for the last six weeks or so, but I cleaned it all again anyways. I finished level 2 of my kettlebells training course. And I did some online shopping LOL. I thought about purchasing a whole new patio conversation set, but decided not to let my boredom trick me into doing something financially irresponsible. Instead I found a pretty couch that would work well in the space that I have, and put it on my 'wish list' to think about, since it still carries a hefty enough price tag.

What do you think? I can imagine myself here early mornings before work, with a coffee in hand enjoying the fresh air. Sure seems relaxing to me.

My allergies have been bugging me all weekend, and into today. I already mentioned to my boss that I might head home since they are bothering me so much. It's pretty quiet this morning so far, so I might as well take the time to get better now rather than suffer into a busy week.

Breakfast - Leftover protein pancakes from the weekend, coffee with oat milk.

Lunch - Meatballs and rice, veggies.

Afternoon Snack - almonds, water.

Dinner - ginger beef, rice, veggies.

Evening Snack - freezie, possibly a coke zero.

bearcountrygg on 04/27/2020:
LOVE the couch...it looks so inviting!

Donkey on 04/28/2020:
I'm glad you posted what you did. The candor and honesty were refreshing.

I like the outdoor couch! Looks very comfy!

Donkey on 04/28/2020:
I've had some issues where I'm like, Is this COVID?! But I think it's allergies, because the boss has been complaining about his allergies too.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/28/2020:
The couch looks very nice for an outdoor patio. Seems to be a good deal! I also talked myself out of buying two more guinea pigs, more expensive $50 fleeces, another cage! Thank gosh I didn’t do it - it would be hard to travel with now 4 guinea pigs to be looked after back at home !

Feel free to always post how you feel- I hope to be as calm as you in my most upsetting times !

innerpeace on 04/29/2020:
Love outside furniture. We sit under our pergola most evenings. I love being outside.

Allergies suck! Before the corona blew up - I would cough just to make people uncomfortable. I was joking at the time, now it's not so funny.

legcramps - Friday Apr 24, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Ok, so my zen week ended yesterday...

First of all though, I thought it was Wednesday yesterday when it was actually Thursday. So, that's a positive LOL.

I cried again when I got home from work. For a lot of different reasons, but mostly because of the work day. My eyes were so sore I had to take my glasses off and wash my face. It's so bizarre how one measly little day can ruin everything.

But I will persevere! I was physically/mentally unable to workout last night, but I did a couple of other things... #1 I called BF and vented to him for 20 minutes and then we played card games through video chat... #2 I called my doctor. We discussed a few things; I expressed I was struggling and we talked a little bit about that as well as some other things i've been experiencing.

You know how you think - hey, maybe we'll come out of this a better people, province, and world. And right now I feel embarassed for believing something like that could happen.

I have to remember that I can't control these things, and I have to just live in my little world as best I can.

So letting it all go today, and starting over. Woke up early for the fifth day in a row and did my yoga. This time, I concentrated on one particular move - the plow. Practiced that for about ten minutes, then started the rest of my day.

I can sense that i'm still bringing some uneasiness with me into today, but i'm going to try my darn best to work through it. Grateful for the upcoming weekend and a chance to recover.

Breakfast - coffee with oat milk, oatmeal

Lunch - meatballs, rice

After Work Snack - almonds, water

Dinner - chicken, rice, veggies?

Evening Snack - coke zero, freezie

bearcountrygg on 04/24/2020:
My heart goes out to you Legs! Such a stressful work atmosphere and I'm sure all of your coworkers are feeling totally drained too.......so there isn't a lot of people to talk too.........I doubt that you all realize how much those of us that are not on the front lines appreciate...and commiserate with you...but we do...I'm sure you are all so emotionally drained and exhausted that little else enters your thoughts....but know....that we all appreciate what you are doing, you are our hero's and we can't even imagine what you go through each day....Thank you for getting up each morning and going to work in a place that must seem like a house of horrors.....yet...you do it......and you are appreciated. I'm glad that you have the weekend to relax and renew....enjoy!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/25/2020:
I am quite sure you Aren’t alone in your feelings xo.

If I were working I assume I’d be very stressed out right now especially if it were at a hospital.

Stay strong and it’s good you can share your feelings here so that you can get them aired out a bit.

Wishing you relaxation this weekend xo

Donkey on 04/26/2020:
I feel your chagrin at realizing that after we're back to the new normal, that not much has changed in humanity.

Still, I see glimmers of hope. I still remain hopeful!

legcramps - Wednesday Apr 22, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Just being able to update here everyday has been a sign that things are starting to slow down a bit, thank goodness. Or maybe I have decided that I will take some time for the things that are important to me, and the rest can wait. Either way, it's been nice to have a moment to check in here!

I had another good evening yesterday. After my regular chores and cleaning, I tried to do an online workout that my gym had posted, but my body is still not ready for much more than one hard workout a week. I have noticed that my levels of stress are really affecting my workouts; even a walk has been raising my level of effort quite dramatically. So about 20 minutes into the workout, I decided not to beat myself up trying to get in a workout that I may be physically unable to do, and headed outside for a run instead. It was beautiful outside! I decided on a walk/jog combo, and kept it nice and short with about 2.5 km in total.

When I got back home, I spent 10 minutes stretching out really well, and then changed and had dinner.

I had started taking my Level 1 Kettlebell course, and completed it last night. Now I have Level 1 in both Kettlebells and Battle Ropes. I'm about halfway through Level 2 in Battle Ropes, and I want to complete my Level 2 in Kettlebells as well. Hoping I can get these done before I take my TRX training in May.

Even with all that, I still managed to go to bed early-ish, and was up this morning doing yoga once again.

Breakfast - coffee with oat milk, small slice of banana bread

Morning - oatmeal

Lunch - chicken or pork, rice, veggies

After Work Snack - almonds, water

Dinner - might make meatballs tonight, rice, veggies

Evening Snack - freezie

bearcountrygg on 04/22/2020:
I hope that things are slowing down for you...I read your post the other day and felt so bad for you. I'm sure the stress is unbelievable.....Your disinfecting routine must be exhausting in itself. Food today sounds really good!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/22/2020:
I have been skipping the stretches a bit for several months and totally know I gotta get back to them!

You are in a wonderful groove, Leggies

Donkey on 04/23/2020:
I loved reading about your kettlebells and rope training! Cool!

Something you wrote just made me realize that the reason I'm not doing yoga daily is because I'm not making it a priority. Hmm... Gonna munch on that for a while!

legcramps - Tuesday Apr 21, 2020

Weight: 0.0

I'm doing good so far this week...wait, is it only Tuesday...LOL!

But really I am. After I did all my "after work" chores yesterday, I had my snack and relaxed on the couch. I fell asleep for about half an hour, then when I woke up I went on a video chat with BF for about an hour. He is keeping busy trying to help his daughter with all her homework. She has an online class twice a week I think, and has been doing about 3-4 hours of homework every day. She even had a test last Saturday! She is only with BF for another week and then I guess she goes back to her Moms. Pretty sure this will negatively impact BF and he will end up taking it out on his workouts/body, as per usual. I wish it could be different.

Anyways, after the video chat I made dinner (pork ribs, rice, veggies), and then cleaned the kitchen. By about 8:30 p.m. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and I knew I wouldn't be getting a workout in. Even though I didn't have the energy to workout, I DID have the energy to snack UGH. I started with a pb and honey sandwich, and then moved on to the freezies; finally I went upstairs to bed about an hour later and was out like a light.

Which, in turn, allowed me to wake up even earlier this morning. I did some yoga. It was nice.

Breakfast - coffee with oat milk, oatmeal

Lunch - pork ribs, rice / coffee with oat milk

After Work Snack - almonds, water

Dinner - chicken, rice, veggies

Evening Snack - freezie

Hopefully no more snacking tonight, aside from the freezie. I put the bread back into the freezer.

Donkey on 04/21/2020:
I often mix up hunger and fatigue. Good idea to put the bread back into the freezer, at least for now.

I LOVE oat milk! I found it here, fell in love, now I can't find it anywhere, but I'll keep searching.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/22/2020:
Yoga ! You and donkey are on that yoga train :)

One day....I’m not there yet :)

I’m glad you are getting your sleep and I also had munchies last night !

legcramps - Monday Apr 20, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Being away - even for a week - from the Information Center that is the hospital has definitely helped me to calm down a lot and i've been able to cope with my anxieties more easily. I've learned now that when i'm not at work, I cannot let myself look up any new information/videos/stats until I am back at work the next morning. I need to shut it off each evening. So I will be working on that this week. It is true, in this context, that the less you know the happier you are.

While I had last week off work, I spent some time playing Yahtzee with friends via video chat, I went on a few walks, completed a few workouts, started a yoga challenge, and finished a couple of fitness courses to add to my arsenol.

This morning I woke up a bit earlier and did ten minutes of yoga. I believe yoga will help me to cope with the stress of being at work again.

In about one hour, I will change from my work clothes into my outside clothes, sanitize my desk, my phone, my computer, and my glasses, pack up my work clothes into a plastic bag, change my shoes, doff my surgical mask and leave the hospital; then i'll pick up (curbside service) food from the local restaurant - support local! - go home, change and throw all clothes in the wash, take a shower, complete my 20 minute meditation, and relax for the rest of the evening. Whether that's with netflix, video chats, or a workout, i'll be tuning out anything else that is not conducive to a calm and relaxing environment.

Breakfast - oatmeal, coffee with oat milk

Lunch - rice, pb sandwich (basically I have nothing in my fridge), water

After Work Snack - almonds, water

Dinner - chicken or pork, rice, vegetables

Evening Snack - freezies have come back into my life :)

Donkey on 04/21/2020:
I'm glad you're "ok" and taking care of yourself. I say "ok" because I think that this virus has everyone on edge a little (or a lot). But it does sound like you're doing the right thing by setting mental and physical boundaries.

A lot better than what I'm feeling lately... so I found this post not only to be helpful but extremely motivating.

I'm glad you're ok.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2020:
I’m glad you were productive on your time off and it’s good your a practicing good hygiene after work :) stay safe !!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2020:
Good to hear from you!

legcramps - Wednesday Apr 08, 2020

Weight: 0.0

I've been switching to a lot of yoga the past couple of weeks, with meditation, to help calm my anxieties.

In an effort to keep myself busy with things non-covid-19-related, i've taken next week off work and signed up for a few fitness courses that are being offered online for free - one is for building Mental Toughness, a Kettlebell training certification, a Battle Ropes training certification, and then there is a TRX suspension training course I am trying to sign up for as well.

Maybe I will even be able to go for a few walks, jogs, or bike rides outside.

I made a batch of vegan meat sauce for the week to eat with noodles or rice. I think I will freeze some of it though, and make more chicken tonight for the rest of the week. I have really been loving having chicken and rice for most of my meals (don't judge my boring menu), and the odd snack in between. 

So grateful to continue to have a job to go to, to earn money to pay my mortgage, taxes, and utilities, and to be able to buy groceries. I'm grateful I don't have to spend my time on the phone with our revenue agency to apply for EI, Emergency relief, etc. I've heard it's been a complete nightmare. I'm grateful that i'm healthy, that my family is healthy, that my friends are healthy, and I hope they continue to be through all of this.

Being conscious and aware of gratefulness, being hopeful for our future, that's what i've been working on.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/08/2020:
Lately I’m craving chicken...luckily I will be having some soon!

It’s great your situation is for the better in terms of having a job ....it’s interesting how almost all is the folks on DD with jobs still have them ! You, innerP, donkey! Of course others are retired. I hope to get my job back when things are running smoother in Nyc.

Donkey on 04/09/2020:
I'm glad you checked in here to let us know how you're doing.

I finally decided to sign up for 2 online live yoga classes. I remain skeptical. However, I hope your classes go well. That's a good idea!

legcramps - Tuesday Mar 31, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Hi everyone!

I made the decision to visit BF on the weekend. It was such a tough decision to make, and probably gave me an ulcer that i'll have to live with indefinitely because the weekend was SO fun; I had to sit BF and his daughter down and show them a 35 minute video on corona virus and what happens to people who contract covid-19. I literally had to tell them, ad nauseam, that PEOPLE WILL DIE when I discovered his daughter had a friend over FOR THE WEEKEND.

It was not a great conversation, and not a great start to the weekend.

Honestly, I don't even want to talk about it right now, that's how upset I still am over it. I feel like I was stretching the limits just going to visit them for the weekend, and after making the very tough decision to visit my family, we were all faced with an extra risk that was completely unnecessary.

I went for a walk outside both Saturday and Sunday, and we did some cooking and ate pretty well over the weekend. I've started limiting my grocery/toiletry shopping to once a week, and now i'm ordering most meats bulk from a local restaurant owner, which helps me limit my interaction with people. I just put in an order for ribs, ground beef, chicken and quick oats. I think eventually, I will start pre-ordering all my food so that I don't have to go in-store.

I also ordered some resistance bands to add to my home gym arsenol, and BF gave me a 25lb dumbbell he had at home.

Although last night after work, I basically stared at the wall for three hours before deciding to just go to bed lol. I am trying to make exercise a priority, but mental exhaustion is battling with my physical willingness to workout. I'll get there. I am pretty sure that when the time comes that our hospital needs to start REACTING to covid and not just PREPARING for it, my workload will get cut back.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/31/2020:
I'm glad you are still exercising. what made you switch to walks rather than biking?

keep exercising. smart of you about the meat / poultry ordering...you remind me how i REALLY need to start cooking more meat! specifically chicken! i will get into that next week or the week after, whenever i'm at the supermarket next, although, i really don't need to shop because i have some frozen cooked meat...gotta think...maybe i'll just start cooking meat after this Corona thing is over !

you are doing well, despite the stress of continuing to work during this crisis!

bearcountrygg on 03/31/2020:
We haven't shopped since the 12th.......I think we can go alot longer.

Donkey on 04/01/2020:
I'm sorry you had that additional stress at home in addition to the stress you have at work. :(

I'm surprised you were able to find resistance bands in stock. Seems like most exercise equipment is scarce around here. Backordered, out of stock, e.t.c. I'm glad I have what I have at home. I do miss the gym.

Thank you for your supportive words on my own entry. It means lot. And helps a lot.

legcramps - Wednesday Mar 25, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Well, I think I made the right decision when I asked BF to go home after picking up his daughter on Saturday, rather than coming back to my place. I haven't seen him since (we should really face time or something, that would help). Anyways, they are at his place and I am at mine. I have kept myself busy cleaning but definitely missing them a lot.

The main level of my house is near sparkling it's so clean. All I can smell is Lysol.

I got sick with TOM on Monday, so I did have to run out and get some supplies. I wore gloves and wiped EVERYTHING that I purchased down once I got back home. 

I still feel a little crappy today but i'm trying to just plug along. I haven't worked out since Sunday, so maybe tonight I will be able to get a workout in. I bought some jugs of water to use as weights, so i'm actually looking forward to that.

There will be a Zoom call this afternoon with the gym coaches and owners, and some of the members to discuss how things are going and what could be done in the following weeks to support members in their journeys. Since I am working, I will be missing the call. They might have enough work for virtual workouts so that one or two trainers could work part-time, but that will likely be all they can do. So I won't be required anyways, although I will definitely be following along and motivating all our members from the sidelines! In reality, it will be nice to have the extra time to myself, since the days at the hospital will probably continue to be stressful for a while.

bearcountrygg on 03/25/2020:
I think you made the right decision too...no need to expose anyone needlessly. Good idea with the water weights....

Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2020:
I am sure if you WANT to help the gym and make a video that the gym would probably be happy with you doing so?!

also, i assume like bcgg said that you are making a good choice to social distance outside of work for now.

great idea to pick up some things you can use as weights so you can continue working out, great job Legs.

I am grateful for my at-home gym :) 2 years ago, i couldn't have made a better choice :)

keep us updated with how you are doing up there!

Donkey on 03/26/2020:
So glad to read your update!

innerpeace on 03/27/2020:
Hope you are doing OK.

legcramps - Thursday Mar 19, 2020

Weight: 0.0

Of course as soon as I say we are business as usual it changes to a completely new normal.

It doesn't help that the number of COVID-19 tests in our province doubled in one day and our province declared a state of emergency... our numbers are still low, but some things are worrying me now. Especially the degree to which it can spread if we don't take some precautions right now.

Gyms are closed, so i'm assuming that means i'm done working there indefinitely, unless they ask me to start doing live workouts through facebook. I'm not sure I want to travel outside of my local area anymore though.

BF wants to pick up his daughter on Saturday, which means travelling about 4 hours each way to get her. She is coming from another province. It worries me that she's been in contact with COVID-19 and shouldn't be travelling at all - should be staying at home. Or I might be in contact with COVID-19 at the hospital and might be contagious. If her parents decide they will bring her, then that's what they'll do, but it won't stop me from worrying about it LOL.

I've been having trouble sleeping. I have a big workload right now, and it's been really stressful trying to keep up.

To all of you who are in more desperate measures than I - who are facing office closures, job closures, self-isolation, who are self-employed and facing a huge financial crisis - my heart breaks for you! Hang in there; hopefully we will see some normalcy sooner rather than later!

bearcountrygg on 03/19/2020:
The numbers are doubling here daily too....Michigan has now had 2 deaths...both in their 50's...this isn't a good time to take chances...for sure.

Donkey on 03/20/2020:
This situation is making me - and some of my coworkers reevaluating work circumstances too. I'll write more about it in my own entry, but I get it that you're rethinking going back to working at the gym.

I can see your hesitation about BF's daughter. IDK what I would do...

innerpeace on 03/20/2020:
I can relate to your BF's daughter and driving. My stepdaughter is over right now and she runs back and forth from her Mom's house. They have lots more people over there than we do, so I hope she doesn't pick it up and spread it around to us. I doubt my DH would tell her NOT to come over... DH texted his ex wife and ask if the girl could stay from Wednesday-Sunday to just be safer. Of course the mom gets all defensive and reads that DH is saying that SHE IS NOT safe.

DH doesn't even answer her - I'm like I would have said...You are right, I think you aren't safe. You are the one who has been running back and forth from the hospital trying to visit your husband. You run a business and are in and out of people's houses and your other daughter baby sits...so YEAH that's what I'm saying...I don't think you are safe. She's a BIOTCH!

anyway, I hope you stay safe! And I know it's not good business practice, but I'm glad the gyms are closed.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/22/2020:
its so great you have some exercise equipment at home during this time so you can at least continue working out from home as much as you can / want to. that would be a challenge for you to put workouts on fb for your clients. that would be so cool if you did...it would make you use your mind a little bit (more than i am!)

try to get sleep when you can :) it must be very stressful at your work setting now i can see.

its crazy how fast the virus spread around the world :(

hopefully things will sort out sooner rather than later...hopefully they figure out a medicine to tame it and that would help us get on with life in the way we remember it so clearly several months ago.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/24/2020:
how's it going, Legs?

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