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legcramps - Monday Sep 15, 2014

Weight: 0.0

I keep slipping and doing things I would never have done just a short while ago, both in terms of weight loss and life in general. Letting the house become a disaster zone, spending money on frivolous things, not sticking to my meal plan, eating late at night.

I haven't felt this *down* for a long time and i'm pretty sure i'm falling into a slight depression. I've been here many times before and the amazing thing is that I STILL don't know how to get myself out of it, aside from letting time do its thing. I don't know what to do!

My emotions are also so out of control; that meeting last week should never have left me in tears. I am so much stronger than that, but it seems like i've lost the ability to 'cope' and even positive life moments are causing me stress and worry.

I know I should just *want* to get up and get over it, but it just doesn't work that way.

Bfast - coffee, croissant, cheese, apple

Lunch - salad, chicken, veggies

Snack - protein bar

Dinner - chicken, veggies, sausage

Will try to drink lots of water today - noticed yesterday that my muscles are in danger of starting to cramp up again because i'm not drinking enough water.

puddles on 09/15/2014:
Wishing you a better week. Don't give in to the negative.f

OhioRaven on 09/15/2014:
Sorry to hear about your depression. If it were me, I would probably pray for a little while.

Destiny65 on 09/15/2014:
Sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed. Feeling that way can be difficult to manage in the day to day things. Perhaps just try focusing on one thing at a time as best as possible. I know when I feel out of control everything just seems to spiral emotionally. If I gain some control and organization in one area it really helps the way I feel. Just a suggestion. Have a good week. I'll join you on trying to drink more water as well.

museumgirl on 09/15/2014:
Sorry you're dealing with depression. I've struggled with it over the past 2 years - mine was a combo of a lot of life crap and menopause. I don't know your situation, but menopause can seriously make a person feel crazy! (sorry if that is TMI!)Hang in there, you seem to have a great virtual-support network here. And keep smiling, you said it is your best feature! :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/24/2014:
so sorry you are feeling down. I don't know what advice to give yet...but can tell you I have felt the same exact way multiple times in life. You really are my long lost twin. I get into those spells of depression too...when they can last a long bit (and not depression like I would take any medication for) maybe weeks...and they really can mess with your head! I can only say maybe you are run down - need a couple days to recharge...

legcramps - Friday Sep 12, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Oh Lord, you guys. I didn't have the best day yesterday.

Two good things happened though, so let's start there:

1. We had a lady retire from work and took her out for a lunch that I actually enjoyed with my coworkers. I had a turkey wrap with fruit, water to drink, and wasn't anti-social for a change.

2. I left work early to get my paperwork done regarding the flood we had in July. It took about an hour to complete; I was hoping to be reimbursed for some equipment I bought (totalling around $200) and ended up sending in a claim for over $2,000!!! They also reimburse you for all the hours and hours (and hours) of work you put into trying to save your basement ;) I am SO glad I decided to do this.

And now for the less good part:

I had an evening meeting and felt I was being attacked through nearly the entire thing. Let me add that I don't actually 'work' for these people and yet I am the only one 'working' for these people. I felt alone and bullied and it was really, really horrible. I actually cried when I got home afterwards, so I texted a friend and we went for a walk, which helped a lot and I got to talk through it with her. I walked away from that conversation feeling a lot better and a little less frustrated, but I tell 'ya, things will be changing around here. No more Mister Nice Guy.

Of course after walking it off I put it all back on with some leftover baked apple slices and frozen yogurt, but whatever. That's nothing compared to the damage I COULD HAVE done.

How about something to look forward to? I am heading into the nearby city for dinner tonight at a new restaurant; so excited to try it out!

puddles on 09/12/2014:
Enjoy your evening out always good to look forward to something. Have a great weekend.

Destiny65 on 09/12/2014:
Enjoy your evening!

supercheesesara on 09/14/2014:
Hi Legs :)

legcramps - Thursday Sep 11, 2014

Weight: 0.0

My cell phone bit the proverbial dust yesterday, so I had to go out and get a new one. I spent the remainder of the evening (which wasn't much by the time I got home) trying to figure out how to use it. But I like it, don't get me wrong! It's a lot more high-tech than my old one, but I think I must have had an emotional attachment because i'm kinda sad about the change.

I could have done my strength routine but I am not going to stress about it. If I 'should have' than I 'would have'. LOL. No excuses.

I get off work early today so that I can meet the Flood Relief Assistance Dude, but then I have to go back for an evening meeting, so it's going to be a wierd day with a catered dinner. And possibly a lunch outing with coworkers since one is retiring today. No idea what the menu is going to look like today.

There might be extra coffee. That is all I know for sure.

thinkpositive on 09/11/2014:
Looks like one of those days when you can just do the best you can with what is offered for lunch & dinner.

grumpy on 09/11/2014:
Thank the Lord for coffee! ;)

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 10, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Developed a headache prior to work ending yesterday; went home and slept it off for a couple of hours. Once I was up I did some dishes and baked apple slices to bring to work today. They're delicious - pat on the back, legcramps.

Dinner was potatoes, carrots and chicken breast.

Did a little more cleaning inside the house; it was too wet to cut the grass. Maybe i'll get to it on the weekend.

Then I went for groceries finally. It's good to go to the grocery store later on - it was pretty empty inside and I didn't have to stop and talk to anyone, anti-socialite that I am.

Plan tonight is to do a core / strength routine at home, with some stretches for my knees.

Bfast was oatmeal, morning snack apple slice and lunch will be a salad; protein bar in the afternoon.

Have a good one!

P.S. So nice to see some familiar 'faces' back on DDs. Missed you guys/gals.

puddles on 09/10/2014:
Good job. Always nice to find something new to eat and it turns out yummy.

thinkpositive on 09/10/2014:
You just reminded me to bake apples. Healthy & delicious. Yes, good activity here. It's nice to be back.

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 09, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Finally got some housework done yesterday ;)

I also did a 30 minute walk on the treadmill since it was raining out yesterday. And today. And probably tomorrow too, just because I need to cut the grass LOL.

I made a delicious dinner of cooked carrots and baby potatoes with chicken breast and sausage. It was so good! I will definitely be making this more often, it was really close to being a comfort food for me.

No real plans today. If it stops raining I know i'll be outside working. If not, then I might try to get into the basement and clean up a bit. I have someone coming on Thursday to take a look after the flooding to see if I am accepted for assistance. I really just want my money back for a couple of pumps I had to buy.

OhioRaven on 09/09/2014:
Good luck with the basement.

puddles on 09/09/2014:
Good job. Hope all goes well with the assistance for your basement. Meal sounds real good. Have a great day.

biscottibody59 on 09/09/2014:
Have a good evening!

thinkpositive on 09/09/2014:
Great on the exercise,

legcramps - Monday Sep 08, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Had a good weekend, spent a lot of it outside what with the golf tournament on Saturday, and then at the park with my godson on Sunday afternoon, which was a total blast.

I didn't get any cleaning done though. Oh well. Not what life is about anyways, right? I did take the garbage to the back lane, so there's that.

Snacking was the theme throughout the day yesterday and I must say that I wasn't very proud of myself for it - I didn't have one complete meal at all, just a bunch of snacks. So i'll be trying to stay on track today.

A walk tonight sounds wonderful - the days are starting to cool off, and the nights are getting downright cold. I'd like to get a few walks in in the next couple of weeks before it gets too cold.

I've been working on some goals for the fall/winter. Debating whether I should get a gym membership or not... mostly for weights since I have a treadmill at home to get any cardio workouts in. I could do resistance training at home too, but I don't seem to get it in unless i'm committed - committment that a gym or a class would fulfill. Still seems like a waste of money though, and that's really what I can't get past. I might end up googling some good resistance moves and try to get a routine going at home. Then, if it doesn't work out, i'll re-think the whole gym thing.

Yoga starts up again next week, so i'm looking forward to that.

puddles on 09/08/2014:
Yes it is getting cooler but I prefer that for walks then when it to hot. We all have our preferences. Have a great day.

thinkpositive on 09/10/2014:
I really like my gym-mainly because I like the classes otherwise I don't think I would have any incentive to go on a regular basis. Getting a regular work out routine at home sounds like a good plan.

thinkpositive on 09/10/2014:
I really like my gym-mainly because I like the classes otherwise I don't think I would have any incentive to go on a regular basis. Getting a regular work out routine at home sounds like a good plan.

legcramps - Friday Sep 05, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Friday! Super cool.

I am golfing in a scramble tournament tomorrow, so it should be a fun day, although I haven't been out golfing in a couple of weeks so i'm not really sure if my teammates will be pleased with me by the end of the day ;)

It rained hard yesterday; after work I went down into the basement to see if I had any water and sure enough, there was some standing water. Thankfully it wasn't much, and I have the fans going today to try and dry it out quickly again.

I feel like I need to attack my house and clean out some things that I don't need to be accumulating. It's pretty overwhelming when I think about it on a large-scale, so I think i'll try to do things one room at a time. From the smell of the garbage can in my garage, that *room* wants to be first in line ;) so I plan to get that place sparkling on Sunday, as well as cut the grass.

Hopefully the weather cooperates so that I can get all this done; it would be so much less to worry about come next week.

puddles on 09/05/2014:
good luck with your tournament and happy cleaning on Sunday

OhioRaven on 09/05/2014:
Have a good scramble.

legcramps - Thursday Sep 04, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Had some problems getting onto the site today from work, so I had to wait until I got home to post. And now I'm kinda tired so this definitely won't be a book ;)

I walked last night for 20 minutes on the treadmill and guess what - shin splints! So I went for a massage after work today and the therapist was amazed at how tight my calf muscles were. My neck was hurting pretty good as well, but I think part of that might be a head cold. Still trying to keep that at bay.

So now I'm just updating here, and then I should probably do some dishes. Gawd, this house. What a mess! It's hard to believe one person can make such a disaster area.

puddles on 09/05/2014:
I also had problems with site yesterday. I did panic a little thinking I would not be able to get back on.

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 03, 2014

Weight: 0.0

Feels like i'm getting a headcold or something :( boo. I can't stop sneezing and am quite congested.

After doing some mandatory visiting yesterday, I was pooped and went straight home without hitting up the grocery store. I still ended up with a good dinner - chicken, quinoa and cooked vegetables (from frozen), but I spent the rest of the evening watching Big Brother and Teen Mom 2 episodes  so I didn't get any exercise in.

It's rainy and cold here today and I know i'm starting to sound depressing so I better cut this short

Eats for today: coffee, green smoothie, leftovers for lunch and maybe I can talk Grandma into making something for dinner in exchange for another visit 

I did some stretching this morning and will throughout the workday as well, don't know about any other exercise today. My knee was really sore last night, so i'm not sure how much working out i'll be able to do.


puddles on 09/03/2014:
hope it will only be passing feeling and that you are better soon.

thinkpositive on 09/04/2014:
Good for you to eat a healthy meal when you were very tired. That's the time when I might just eat the first thing that I see.

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 02, 2014

Weight: 0.0

I am back from my vacation and up three pounds, which is pretty good, considering.

After a few days of total relaxation (read: I was utterly exhausted after the trip and desperately needed sleep), I am back on the bandwagon! Slowly though, since my knee has begun to bother me since returning home.

It was such a fun trip, but so busy as there is just so much to see and do in New York. I could definately handle going back a few more times!

Agenda today: visit grandma, visit friend who recently had surgery, get groceries. If I can manage to get in a walk outside before dark, that would really put me in a good mood :)

Eats: coffee (yup, back on it), bagel, water, rest of the day TBD (that means I essentially have nothing in the fridge.

Hope you're all doing well!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/02/2014:
Lol funny gal :) glad u had a great vacation here in NYC! I can't wait to hear more about it. And I totally get that exhausted feeling :)

puddles on 09/02/2014:
Glad you had a great trip. Good to see you are back.

biscottibody59 on 09/02/2014:
Hope the rest of your week goes well!

thinkpositive on 09/03/2014:
Sounds like you have a good plan.

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