- Tuesday Jun 09, 2015
Wow, kids, I never expected to be gone for so long. How the heck have you been?
A day turns into a week, turns into a month and suddenly 8 months later and... I can't believe I can still remember my password! It just means y'all are locked into my heart, no matter where I am or who i'm not checking in with ;) <3
When the new year rolled around, I was still struggling a lot with life; I knew I needed a change, but I couldn't figure out what that change was supposed to look like. My knees hurt, my heart was weak, my mind was unmotivated, and I was depressed. Not a cool combination. Finally though, eventually, some of the light broke through the darkness and I realized that I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself if I ever expected to live the way I kept thinking I should.
So in February, I made a committment to start training for a beginner's triathlon taking place on June 20th. I started by walking just 10 minutes every day, eventually purchasing a fitbit and counting steps and heartrate. The fitbit really helped motivate me to be active on those days where I just wanted to give up and turn back to comforting myself with food and mind-numbing television. Throughout February, March and April I worked hard at "just showing up" and i'm pleased to say that I did pretty well :)
In May, official training began for the See Jane Tri triathlon. I've been training six days a week for it for the last four weeks. Two more weeks to go and the day will be upon me!
My knees are still weak, but they don't hurt so much anymore. My heart is strong - i'll be heading out for a one hour run after work today. I am learning how to push through emotional barriers and keep myself going, just one step at a time. My depression has lifted. When I am faced with an obstacle in my training, I figure it out and move on instead of focusing all my energy on the negative. I still get shin splints, but regularly see a MT who is able to help me overcome this condition - one day at a time.
I no longer weigh myself as I don't believe it is healthy FOR ME to know how much I weigh. I am finally comfortable again in my own skin; even though I certainly still have bad days, I can overcome them a lot easier - mostly just by getting outside and sweating it off ;) Obviously, the beautiful weather has been helping a lot as well; i've definitely been getting my share of vitamin-D.
So I just thought i'd pop in and say hello; hope you are all doing fine and reaching your goals. I plan to get back here after my triathlon and let you know how I did; really hoping to finish in under 1hr:10min but we'll see! Sometimes it's more about showing up at the start line ;)
- Monday Sep 15, 2014
I keep slipping and doing things I would never have done just a short while ago, both in terms of weight loss and life in general. Letting the house become a disaster zone, spending money on frivolous things, not sticking to my meal plan, eating late at night.
I haven't felt this *down* for a long time and i'm pretty sure i'm falling into a slight depression. I've been here many times before and the amazing thing is that I STILL don't know how to get myself out of it, aside from letting time do its thing. I don't know what to do!
My emotions are also so out of control; that meeting last week should never have left me in tears. I am so much stronger than that, but it seems like i've lost the ability to 'cope' and even positive life moments are causing me stress and worry.
I know I should just *want* to get up and get over it, but it just doesn't work that way.
Bfast - coffee, croissant, cheese, apple
Lunch - salad, chicken, veggies
Snack - protein bar
Dinner - chicken, veggies, sausage
Will try to drink lots of water today - noticed yesterday that my muscles are in danger of starting to cramp up again because i'm not drinking enough water.
- Friday Sep 12, 2014
Oh Lord, you guys. I didn't have the best day yesterday.
Two good things happened though, so let's start there:
1. We had a lady retire from work and took her out for a lunch that I actually enjoyed with my coworkers. I had a turkey wrap with fruit, water to drink, and wasn't anti-social for a change.
2. I left work early to get my paperwork done regarding the flood we had in July. It took about an hour to complete; I was hoping to be reimbursed for some equipment I bought (totalling around $200) and ended up sending in a claim for over $2,000!!! They also reimburse you for all the hours and hours (and hours) of work you put into trying to save your basement ;) I am SO glad I decided to do this.
And now for the less good part:
I had an evening meeting and felt I was being attacked through nearly the entire thing. Let me add that I don't actually 'work' for these people and yet I am the only one 'working' for these people. I felt alone and bullied and it was really, really horrible. I actually cried when I got home afterwards, so I texted a friend and we went for a walk, which helped a lot and I got to talk through it with her. I walked away from that conversation feeling a lot better and a little less frustrated, but I tell 'ya, things will be changing around here. No more Mister Nice Guy.
Of course after walking it off I put it all back on with some leftover baked apple slices and frozen yogurt, but whatever. That's nothing compared to the damage I COULD HAVE done.
How about something to look forward to? I am heading into the nearby city for dinner tonight at a new restaurant; so excited to try it out!
- Thursday Sep 11, 2014
My cell phone bit the proverbial dust yesterday, so I had to go out and get a new one. I spent the remainder of the evening (which wasn't much by the time I got home) trying to figure out how to use it. But I like it, don't get me wrong! It's a lot more high-tech than my old one, but I think I must have had an emotional attachment because i'm kinda sad about the change.
I could have done my strength routine but I am not going to stress about it. If I 'should have' than I 'would have'. LOL. No excuses.
I get off work early today so that I can meet the Flood Relief Assistance Dude, but then I have to go back for an evening meeting, so it's going to be a wierd day with a catered dinner. And possibly a lunch outing with coworkers since one is retiring today. No idea what the menu is going to look like today.
There might be extra coffee. That is all I know for sure.
- Wednesday Sep 10, 2014
Developed a headache prior to work ending yesterday; went home and slept it off for a couple of hours. Once I was up I did some dishes and baked apple slices to bring to work today. They're delicious - pat on the back, legcramps.
Dinner was potatoes, carrots and chicken breast.
Did a little more cleaning inside the house; it was too wet to cut the grass. Maybe i'll get to it on the weekend.
Then I went for groceries finally. It's good to go to the grocery store later on - it was pretty empty inside and I didn't have to stop and talk to anyone, anti-socialite that I am.
Plan tonight is to do a core / strength routine at home, with some stretches for my knees.
Bfast was oatmeal, morning snack apple slice and lunch will be a salad; protein bar in the afternoon.
Have a good one!
P.S. So nice to see some familiar 'faces' back on DDs. Missed you guys/gals.
- Tuesday Sep 09, 2014
Finally got some housework done yesterday ;)
I also did a 30 minute walk on the treadmill since it was raining out yesterday. And today. And probably tomorrow too, just because I need to cut the grass LOL.
I made a delicious dinner of cooked carrots and baby potatoes with chicken breast and sausage. It was so good! I will definitely be making this more often, it was really close to being a comfort food for me.
No real plans today. If it stops raining I know i'll be outside working. If not, then I might try to get into the basement and clean up a bit. I have someone coming on Thursday to take a look after the flooding to see if I am accepted for assistance. I really just want my money back for a couple of pumps I had to buy.
- Monday Sep 08, 2014
Had a good weekend, spent a lot of it outside what with the golf tournament on Saturday, and then at the park with my godson on Sunday afternoon, which was a total blast.
I didn't get any cleaning done though. Oh well. Not what life is about anyways, right? I did take the garbage to the back lane, so there's that.
Snacking was the theme throughout the day yesterday and I must say that I wasn't very proud of myself for it - I didn't have one complete meal at all, just a bunch of snacks. So i'll be trying to stay on track today.
A walk tonight sounds wonderful - the days are starting to cool off, and the nights are getting downright cold. I'd like to get a few walks in in the next couple of weeks before it gets too cold.
I've been working on some goals for the fall/winter. Debating whether I should get a gym membership or not... mostly for weights since I have a treadmill at home to get any cardio workouts in. I could do resistance training at home too, but I don't seem to get it in unless i'm committed - committment that a gym or a class would fulfill. Still seems like a waste of money though, and that's really what I can't get past. I might end up googling some good resistance moves and try to get a routine going at home. Then, if it doesn't work out, i'll re-think the whole gym thing.
Yoga starts up again next week, so i'm looking forward to that.
- Friday Sep 05, 2014
Friday! Super cool.
I am golfing in a scramble tournament tomorrow, so it should be a fun day, although I haven't been out golfing in a couple of weeks so i'm not really sure if my teammates will be pleased with me by the end of the day ;)
It rained hard yesterday; after work I went down into the basement to see if I had any water and sure enough, there was some standing water. Thankfully it wasn't much, and I have the fans going today to try and dry it out quickly again.
I feel like I need to attack my house and clean out some things that I don't need to be accumulating. It's pretty overwhelming when I think about it on a large-scale, so I think i'll try to do things one room at a time. From the smell of the garbage can in my garage, that *room* wants to be first in line ;) so I plan to get that place sparkling on Sunday, as well as cut the grass.
Hopefully the weather cooperates so that I can get all this done; it would be so much less to worry about come next week.
- Thursday Sep 04, 2014
Had some problems getting onto the site today from work, so I had to wait until I got home to post. And now I'm kinda tired so this definitely won't be a book ;)
I walked last night for 20 minutes on the treadmill and guess what - shin splints! So I went for a massage after work today and the therapist was amazed at how tight my calf muscles were. My neck was hurting pretty good as well, but I think part of that might be a head cold. Still trying to keep that at bay.
So now I'm just updating here, and then I should probably do some dishes. Gawd, this house. What a mess! It's hard to believe one person can make such a disaster area.
- Wednesday Sep 03, 2014
Feels like i'm getting a headcold or something :( boo. I can't stop sneezing and am quite congested.
After doing some mandatory visiting yesterday, I was pooped and went straight home without hitting up the grocery store. I still ended up with a good dinner - chicken, quinoa and cooked vegetables (from frozen), but I spent the rest of the evening watching Big Brother and Teen Mom 2 episodes so I didn't get any exercise in.
It's rainy and cold here today and I know i'm starting to sound depressing so I better cut this short
Eats for today: coffee, green smoothie, leftovers for lunch and maybe I can talk Grandma into making something for dinner in exchange for another visit
I did some stretching this morning and will throughout the workday as well, don't know about any other exercise today. My knee was really sore last night, so i'm not sure how much working out i'll be able to do.