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legcramps - Friday Jun 05, 2020

Weight: 0.0

I was able to get outside for a bike ride yesterday. I wasn't going to, but then BF phoned and said he was going to go for a ride, and I became jealous and decided I would go for one too. It is so dry here that every time a car passed me on the gravel road, they kicked up so much dust that I was covered in a thin layer by the time I got home. Does dirt have any nutritional value? Because i'm sure I accidentally ate some of it too.

Day 10 of TOM :( :( :( Around day 6, I started taking iron pills since i'm not sure how much blood i'm actually losing. It seems like a pretty regular flow throughout the day. Some clotting still.

BF packed his kayak into the van so if the weather is nice enough this weekend we are hoping to get out on the water. And if I play my cards right, maybe I could even go for a non-public, hide behind the weeds swim! At this point, even just "falling" off my paddleboard would suffice. Just let me doggy-paddle for a few minutes LOL.

bearcountrygg on 06/05/2020:
Hope you get a chance to swim.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/05/2020:
Is it so many days of TOM bc you never used it get it ?

Nice ideas in regards to getting a swim in no matter what !

Your bike ride sounds amazing - I’m enjoying riding my bike around town whenever I do it !


Donkey on 06/06/2020:
LOL on the caloric value of dirt. Well, if not calories, I'm sure there's plenty of essential minerals. Actually, folks that are malnourished sometimes eat dirt or clay. I'm sure you're familiar with the eating condition called pica.

I cannot fathom 10 days of TOM. It probably is a good idea that you are taking an iron supplement.



legcramps - Thursday Jun 04, 2020

Weight: 0.0

No more schedule. I'm not ready for a schedule yet. It's only allowing the dark, negative part of me the space to let out its aggression.

And P.S. I feel a LURCHING, DESPERATE NEED to go swimming. I have felt it for about a week now. I just want to swim, and I CAN'T! ARGH!

In terms of having the energy to return to normal activity, I'm definitely much further along than I was just a few weeks ago, so that's something. I'm getting there, it's just taking its sweet time. And if I could do things like go lane swimming, I would progress a lot faster (*end vent*)

I guess swimming offers me time in my own head, to work things out or just to not have to focus on anything. When I bike I have to concentrate on what i'm doing. When I do other workouts, they are also dependent on my level of focus. Being able to continue doing mobility each morning in large part has been due to the fact that those movements are almost automatic now, and I don't have to focus as much and am able to use that space in other ways (for example, this morning all I thought about while doing my mobility work was the birds nest outside my window, and the birds that woke me up chirping away at 5:15 a.m.). Before I knew it, I was done and it was time for breakfast.

I have to pick up some salads after work today, and that's it. BF might come visit. Regardless, tomorrow is Friday and I need a couple of days off (Saturday and Sunday).

Also, i'm currently on Day 9 of TOM. Now we could have a whole conversation about ridiculousness around THAT.

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2020:
Well...the birds were bad and then thinking about them made time pass.......I guess that all worked itself out OK. Give yourself a break Legs....meditation???

legcramps on 06/05/2020:
Thank you, I know I should give myself a break I am working really hard to just be gentle with myself. I've tried to meditate before with mixed results - sometimes I can't get my brain to shut off. I didn't mean for it to sound like I didn't appreciate the birds...I enjoyed waking up to them very much and like that they have a nest right outside my window :)


grannyannie on 06/05/2020:
I really miss my gym. I haven't been since Nov just before we went to Thailand. And soon after we came home on March 3rd, the gym closed.

legcramps on 06/05/2020:
Yes, I know a lot of people count on gyms to maintain their health and sanity. I'm glad to see it is re-opening, i'm just very leery about going back to work there - since I also work in a hospital setting.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/05/2020:
Dang day 9?! Mine is now very quick for two days it’s heavy then almost gone ! I guess I am not really saying the right thing here lol!

Sorry your pool is not open yet. I’m sure part of your struggle is from not getting all of the relaxation of your thoughts and endorphins that swimming provide

legcramps on 06/05/2020:
LOL, well i'm happy that TOM for you is very quick. I hope one day I will be at that point also!

Yes, it feels like I am constantly searching for the exercise that will truly put my mind at ease. Haven't found that balance yet.



legcramps - Wednesday Jun 03, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 29 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 1 hour, 9 minutes

MAY 30 - mobility 25 minutes

MAY 31 - REST!

JUNE 1 - mobility 25 minutes

JUNE 2 - mobility 25 minutes; yardwork 1 hour

JUNE 3 - mobility 25 minutes

Every time I write something that i've done in the schedule above, I think to myself "you could have done better than that". For some reason lately i've been playing head games with myself, bemoaning myself for not doing all the things I think I should be doing. I keep thinking if everyone else is getting back to their normal, I should get back to mine too. And I just can't get there. And I know it's ok to give myself more time, I know that's probably what I need - but it's upsetting that I can't just jump back into it when I see people around me are having no problems doing that. I feel weak, powerless, and unstable.

Also, i'm upset with myself for not saying "NO" to a couple of shifts at the gym this month. I was asked because they were in a tight spot, which makes it SO HARD to say no. So of course I told them I would take the shifts, and now i'm anxious about it.

So anyways, not a great start to the day, but at least it's Wednesday! Happy Hump Day!

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2020:
Praise yourself for accomplishing what you did...a lot of other people didn't even do that.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/03/2020:
Give yourself some slack and take a rest week if you need to do that to come back stronger - you will get there I have no doubt !



legcramps - Tuesday Jun 02, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 28 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 29 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 1 hour, 9 minutes

MAY 30 - mobility 25 minutes

MAY 31 - REST!

JUNE 1 - mobility 25 minutes

JUNE 2 - mobility 25 minutes

For the absolute LIFE of me, I cannot get myself back on a schedule! This is driving me nuts already! I passed out on the couch after work again yesterday, and slept until 7:30. It's like my eyes automatically close as soon as I step inside the house LOL. Of course I was groggy and tired after I woke up, and spent the rest of the evening doing a few dishes and sitting in the massage chair.

Today, i'm going to stop and pick up subway right after work. I'm going to go home and eat, and then i'm hoping that will give me some energy to do something. I know one reason i've been going straight home and to sleep is because i'm mentally exhausted, physically tired and snack-hungry. If I can resolve one of those issues, maybe I can get my butt into action.

...UPDATE:  A friend just reminded me that i've been pretty sick for awhile now, with my back, with headaches, TOM, and with allergies, and that I should allow myself some time to continue recovering. She's right, of course, but it's just frustrating when I keep thinking of all the activities I was doing a few months ago. I see it all backsliding and it's really hard to watch it all slip away.

bearcountrygg on 06/02/2020:
Well stress can do that...give yourself a break right now...i agree with your friend.......


Donkey on 06/02/2020:
Maybe it's the hormones, going back on the shot.

It's very frustrating to feel like you're backsliding but I encourage you to listen to your body. If you're falling asleep when you get home, I think you need the sleep!

Are you this tired on days off too?


grannyannie on 06/03/2020:
It's so hard to get back to a schedule when you've been off for a while. Been a very long time for me! Hang in there.


thinkpositive on 06/03/2020:
Seems like your body is telling you to rest.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/03/2020:
It’s true it good to take extra rest when your body wants it. I tend to get that way after really trying to fit everything in on top of work - it can be draining especially without rest - rest surely is the key to many good things!

Great idea to eat when you get how ! I use food as a motivator all the tome especially after work before a workout



legcramps - Monday Jun 01, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 26 - mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 27 - mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 28 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 29 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 1 hour, 9 minutes

MAY 30 - mobility 25 minutes

MAY 31 - REST!

JUNE 1 - mobility 25 minutes

I was not a weekend warrior this weekend; we had a lot to do and we weren't able to fit any formal exercise into our plans.

I was also pretty sick on the weekend with TOM.

In a way, i'm glad it's Monday. I can get back into a routine and hopefully it will be a good week. Going to start off on a positive note and hope it sticks!

grannyannie on 06/01/2020:
Hope your week goes well.


Maria7 on 06/01/2020:
Hope you're feeling better.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2020:
I have also had weekends where I was glad to see Monday come and get me back on a routine / stopping overeating !



legcramps - Friday May 29, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 24 - mobility 30 minutes; bike 1.5 hours; walk 1 hour

MAY 25 - mobility 20 minutes; bike 1 hour

MAY 26 - mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 27 - mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 28 - mobility 25 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 29 - mobility 25 minutes

I'm changing the heading in the above calendar to show mobility rather than yoga/mobility. Just for ease of typing - I am still doing the same yoga but it is all in the name of better mobility, so just going to start calling it that from now on.

I had planned to do a virtual group bike ride yesterday after work but didn't get home in time. So instead, I decided I would take a rest day. As soon as I made that decision, my thoughts went straight to food. Suddenly, I was so hungry. I went a little bit overboard, attacking the bread bag and peanut butter. To stop myself, I made an early supper and ate that. Once I let that settle and digest, and had my fill of netflix, I found myself almost automatically going upstairs and changing into biking gear. It was really strange, to be honest. It was already 8:00 p.m. and I had had no intentions of riding. But suddenly, there I was in my bike shorts and shoes, strapping my heart rate monitor to my chest.

Since I hadn't ridden with my planned group, there were no events to jump into. I would have to ride on my own. This is not a bad thing, but group rides motivate me to work much harder (competitive nature) so I figured it would be a nice, easy ride. And it was, in the beginning. Then I found a mountain bike trail that really pumped me up; I used my phone as the handlebars and had to try to keep my bike on the trail - it was like a video game and even though I lost it was really fun to try. And it ate up almost 15 minutes, after which I was ready to tackle a few hills. It turned out to be a really good hill workout and, for an activity I didn't think I was going to do at all, ended after 50 minutes of pretty hard pedaling.

I have a tentative plan set for June. I want to explore more gravel riding this summer, so my plan is to train for a gravel ride. I will probably have to train in both June and July, so i'll set the actual ride event for sometime towards the end of July. To start, i'm going to plan for 5 rides a week and see if I can handle that for a couple of weeks, then i'll start adding longer distances. I'd like to complete at least 80 kms for the actual ride event. On gravel, that might take me up to four hours to complete.

bearcountrygg on 05/29/2020:
I LOVED THAT!!! The subconscious mind is amazing!!! And in doing it a bit differently...you found a new "game ride".......I swear...our bodies know...but our heads get in the way.....


horn_of_plenty on 05/29/2020:
Do you have a thick tired bike ? Mountain bike ?

legcramps on 06/01/2020:
I was on my spin bike, on a virtual ride :)

I have a few actual bikes, too many really, but enough to do almost all types of biking.


Donkey on 05/30/2020:
Those virtual bike rides sound like fun!


Maria7 on 05/30/2020:
I never heard of a virtual group bike ride but it sounds wonderful!



legcramps - Thursday May 28, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 23 - yoga/mobility 30 minutes

MAY 24 - yoga/mobility 30 minutes; bike 1.5 hours; walk 1 hour

MAY 25 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes; bike 1 hour

MAY 26 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 27 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 28 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

I'm on a biking roll, and i'm going to "ride" it as long as I can. Yesterday was more of a relaxed ride, but of course towards the last 5 km I had to push it so that I could complete it before anyone else in the group. Slightly competitive.

Well, I was upset yesterday when BF's daughter came over with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's daughter. It was a full house, and I was not expecting to have that many people in the house at once. I felt quite uneasy and anxious; I feel like everyone is taking the inch we've been given and stretching it into a mile.

A co-worker suggested that I increase the amount of advil I was taking for my headache, and use a cold compress on my neck, and it seems to have really helped. I feel so much better, more awake, and actually alive if that makes any sense. So thankful!

thinkpositive on 05/28/2020:
So hard to know what is okay as far as gatherings now that we’ve all relaxed the Covid rules a bit. Struggling with this as my husband has a lung disease.


bearcountrygg on 05/28/2020:
Young people are so oblivious sometimes.....some things just take experience to understand......I look back at the things I just didn't get when i was young...and now feel like i truly had no clue.....she may not have realized how that would affect you.....maybe need a talk with her to just let her know how you feel......you have a lot of stress and surely don't need any more.


Maria7 on 05/28/2020:
I know the feeling and people are acting like there is suddenly no virus at all, even here in SC, too. Take care.


horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2020:
Here in nyc a lot of people are being pretty obedient still bc cases aren’t as low as in your neck of the woods.

When it’s that time of the month and I have bad thigh pain, I find myself needing to take more than the prescribed amount of painkillers


Donkey on 05/29/2020:
Oh my, I would have felt completely invaded by the unexpected guests. I guess that would make me a bad hostess, when in truth, I'm just an introvert, very protective of her personal space.



legcramps - Wednesday May 27, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 21 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

MAY 22 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes

MAY 23 - yoga/mobility 30 minutes

MAY 24 - yoga/mobility 30 minutes; bike 1.5 hours; walk 1 hour

MAY 25 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes; bike 1 hour

MAY 26 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 27 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes

I've been battling with a cluster/migraine headache since Sunday morning. Not too sure what it's from...sinus pressure, shooting pain, swollen eye, sensitivies to light, nausea and upset stomach. We had a bit of a storm last night and I immediately felt better afterwards so I thought maybe it was barometric pressure or something, but no. This morning it was back, but it's not as bad so that's good.

Going to try for another bike ride tonight. Then helping BF's daughter with homework. BF should be coming to visit also. A busy night.

My gym is doing a daily check-in challenge - drink 64 ounces of water and eat at least three servings of veggies each day. They started it on Monday and so far, i've hit the targets two days in a row. Pretty impressed, especially since I normally have a hard time getting those veggies in. Looks like I will have to go out and buy some more already today.

That's it from me. I wish I was feeling better!

horn_of_plenty on 05/27/2020:
Yes ! Those veggies are what I need to buy the most often lately :)

Nice job on biking !!!


Donkey on 05/28/2020:
I hope you feel better soon! You're doing great, in spite of the pain.



legcramps - Friday May 22, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 16 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 17 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; TRX training 6 hours; bike 30 minutes

MAY 18 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; online workout 60 minutes

MAY 19 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

MAY 20 - yoga/mobility 45 minutes; yardwork 40 minutes

MAY 21 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

MAY 22 - yoga/mobility 20 minutes

I fell asleep on the couch again after work. I slept there, pretzled up in the couch, for over two hours. When I woke up, I was a big ball of cranky and depressed. Yeah, last night was a complete write-off.

Which seems to have rolled over into this morning, in which I spent only 20 minutes doing yoga and spent the entire time thinking about when I would be done yoga.

I know BF will kick start me for the weekend, and it will be full of exercise-y type things. 

Starting in June, I will form a plan each week for workouts. I'll start small, but it will be structured, and have a reason behind it (cardio, strength, recovery).

Our gym will likely be opening up again June 8th. I haven't talked to the owners yet, but at this time it's not looking like I will be able to return to coaching. Obviously i'm still pretty stressed at work, and I need to focus on me and my mental and physical health before I can concentrate on someone else's. It's disappointing, and i'm sure the owners won't be happy, but it's what I need to decide for ME right now. I wish it was an easy decision, but it will haunt me for a while for sure. Always trying to please everyone but myself.

bearcountrygg on 05/22/2020:
Take care of you first Legs! Everyone that has worked through this will possibly have different views on things later. Even those of us that have stayed home have some different takes on life in the future......maybe our new normal isn't about wearing masks and sanitizer...maybe we will just make different choices about lots of different things because we have been changed by this.


Horn_of_plenty on 05/22/2020:
Take it day by day and try not to think too much about the gym situation as I am sure it will happen in slow motion with many people - that’s my own personal take on this - but it’s also bc I am in nyc and most of us are still on a type of large quarantine !


Donkey on 05/23/2020:
You've inspired me to focus on mileage goals next month, instead of time or calories!



legcramps - Thursday May 21, 2020

Weight: 0.0

MAY 14 - yoga/mobility 65 minutes; bike 60 minutes

MAY 15 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; walk 50 minutes

MAY 16 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; bike 50 minutes

MAY 17 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; TRX training 6 hours; bike 30 minutes

MAY 18 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes; online workout 60 minutes

MAY 19 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

MAY 20 - yoga/mobility 45 minutes; yardwork 40 minutes

MAY 21 - yoga/mobility 25 minutes

I think i've figured something out. Maybe the reason i'm having so much difficulty getting back into training is because there's nothing to train for. I've become a weekend warrior - the type of person who only really works out on the weekends.

So I can either accept that this is my new normal, or I can start training for something that I can do on my own.

There are pros and cons for each argument. An off-season is not a bad idea, but it might also regress me so far that if I do get to start training for anything, I will literally be starting from scratch.

However, my biggest issue right now is not having the drive to train. I know i've been saying it's due to work stress, and that's very true, but I could be working on that a little more than I have been. Maybe what I need is something to train for.

A 100km ride on road or gravel?

A swim, bike, run at the lake (when it is appropriate and available to do so)?

A run, bike, run?

I will have to give this a little thought, and try to come up with something I think would be fun, as well as available to train for.

bearcountrygg on 05/21/2020:
Sounds like you are on to something........That aha moment!!!!!


grannyannie on 05/21/2020:
Serious exercise! Well done.


Maria7 on 05/21/2020:
Hope you have a good day.


Donkey on 05/22/2020:
This makes a lot of sense! Have fun figuring out your next challenge, your next goal! I'm excited to see what you decide to do!


Horn_of_plenty on 05/22/2020:
I totally get you on needing something to train for - right now I’m at just staying moderate and maintaining .... can you do specific racing with that bike program with money involved ? Betting on the winner or something ?



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