Didja miss me?!!!

Dad had another procedure done on Thursday morning and was feeling a lot better when I left to come home yesterday. It's been a long two days of travel and worry, but i'm hoping now that he's feeling better, things will begin to look up for him. My coping mechanisms were in full force and there are still a lot of things I need to discuss with him in regards to his care and making more of an effort to take care of himself, but i'm taking the weekend off to rest and to try and get rid of some negative energy before I tackle anything more.

I also killed a duck while driving into the city; I gagged a bit because the duck flew right into my windshield and splattered all over the place. It was thoroughly disgusting and set the tone for the next two days unfortunately. There was road kill all over the place! Spring has sprung.

I kept my eating as under control as I could; last night I took a warm bath yet still couldn't get myself to go to sleep early and started some late night munching. That was the worst of it though and now that i'm home I should be able to get back into a routine.

I still haven't gotten an insanity workout in since the crap hit the fan last week, but the weekend will give me some time to get that started again as well. I miss my workouts and the extra energy I feel through the day because of them. I also haven't been taking my daily dose of vitamin D and that might not be helping much in way of energy stores.

Good news - I received my L Glutamine powder and tried it out this morning. I didn't have time or the proper ingredients for a shake, but I sprinkled it into my cereal and ate it that way, just to try it out.

What else? I did most of my Dog Park stuff before I left town, found another ball team to spare for, and the trip planning is coming along nicely. I don't think my Dad is happy that i'll be gone for three weeks in August, but he'll just have to live with it. I also got a huge chore done yesterday at home; I feel far more sane than I did at the beginning of the week ;)

I'm hoping to get outside this weekend and do some yardwork; finish up some chores inside; and take a break on Sunday to head out to the beach for a few drinks with friends. If Mother Nature is not okay with this she can go kiss a monkey. This is MY time.

I am heading out early tomorrow morning to take Dad to see his surgeon for a follow-up. I'm hoping some things will be resolved at this appointment, as he is still having trouble eating and even drinking fluids. I thank the Good Lord he is at least taking Ensure - or so he tells me. Sometimes I wonder; I will have to count the bottles when I get to his place tomorrow to make sure he isn't lying to me.

Our Dog Park's Grand Opening is coming up in June, so there is a lot of preparation for that which will keep me busy for a week or so.

And just because things could still get worse, our slopitch team folded yesterday so i'm no longer playing ball. Well, i've been added as a spare to another team, but basically I won't be playing much this year. Normally this would bother me, but I just don't care right now.

With Dad being so sick lately, the upcoming trip to prepare for, the dog park grand opening, a camping trip, fundraising walk and a family reunion - I am full up. To me, a folded slopitch team only means an extra night to do all the other things that need doing!

I had a blueberry muffin for breakfast, and a mocha. My eating is definitely off from my plan, it has been since Thursday. I'm trying pretty hard to keep it under control but i'm a MAJOR stress-eater. Will do some meditative work and positive thinking this morning. I will get back on track. I will.

The weekend, in point form:

- Friday evening: cook dinners for Dad.

- Saturday morning: head to city to see Dad and drop off dinners.

- Saturday afternoon: notice he's throwing up a lot and unable to keep food down.

- Convince him to let me take him to Emergency.

- Wait for 6 hours in Emergency.

- 9:30p.m.: Dad is admitted to hospital; look for dinner on my way to his apartment for the night.

- 11p.m.: Try to sleep; fail. Try to sleep; fail. Try to sleep; fail.

- Sunday morning 6a.m.: eyes wide open; get ready and head back to hospital.

- 10a.m.: Dad is released, after tests reveal that his esophagus is only swollen, not damaged. He eats jello for breakfast and dislikes this very much.

- 11a.m.: get Dad home and reiterate that Ensure Plus is good for him; beg him to please have at least one bottle a day so that he will stop losing 5 pounds a week. Not even exaggerating.

- Sunday afternoon: head home; go straight to Grandma's for Mother's Day lunch. Yawn a few times. Try to be in good spirits for them.

- 4p.m.: go home; change; cut the grass and clean up the outside patio furniture. Keep thinking today is only Saturday.

- 6p.m.: binge on tostitos. Have dinner. Binge on more tostitos. Keep thinking today is only Saturday.

- 7p.m.: run a few more errands, forget to put washed laundry into dryer.

- Monday morning 5a.m.: not going to happen.

- Monday morning 6a.m.: not going to happen.

- Monday morning 7a.m.: just one more snooze. Why do I think it's Sunday today?

- At work 8:30a.m.: realize i'm pretty damn tired; fill my cup of coffee and begin to monotonously move through the day.

No Insanity workout since Friday; blegh.

Insanity Max Interval Circuit done for the day!

A friend cut off a chunk of her aloe vera plant and I wrapped my finger in it overnight. It's feeling and looking much better today and i'm able to type without too much discomfort.

Bad news yesterday; Dad went into emergency as his esophagus closed up on him and he is unable to take in any food. He is also being stubborn and won't use the feeding tube so he's lost another great amount of weight. His ex wife tells me that he's avoiding telling me the truth, probably to save me from worry, but that he is not doing well at all. He keeps telling me he's doing okay, he's getting enough food, he doesn't need anything, etc. I really think this is why I avoid confrontation with people so much - i've learned from the best! Anyways, they let him go home last night but he has to go in this morning to see what they can do for him.

Went to a birthday party last night - had a slice of black forest cake and a mocha and just relaxed and had a few laughs. I needed them.

I was planning on a trip this weekend with a friend to see my cousin and her family, but if Dad is not better today or gets admitted to the hospital I won't be going anywhere. Bummer.

Breakfast - bagel, pb, coffee

Lunch - cafeteria

Snack - yogurt, walnuts, strawberries, granola

Dinner - unsure; no plans at this time

I'm taking a day of rest from exercise today, unless I become antsy later on! This morning I slept in a little and it felt kinda nice! But not as good as a hard morning workout feels LOL.

First slopitch game of the season last night! We won, and I cracked the knuckle of my pinky finger. Good times! Darn thing better heal fast.

We hadn't practiced before this game, and you could tell. It was a struggle trying to get focused and for me to try and connect the bat with the ball. It just wasn't working for me, and then I managed to hurt myself in the field catching a ball. It was a darn good thing I brought beer LOL!

I patted myself on the back this morning, for doing so well yesterday with calories. Yes, I had three beer and a lovely vodka-infused jello and whip cream concoction, but my calories were within my range. It isn't often on a ball night that I am able to persevere so well! And my 6" turkey breast sub from Subway was like the cherry on top, not having to cook for myself.

Unfortunately, this morning I noticed that I didn't have any milk left so I ate the other 6" of my sub for breakfast instead of cereal. After work I want to do some shopping, and then a friend has a birthday cake that he needs help eating ;) yes, of course I will help, only one slice though.

I really wanted to sleep in this morning, get some extra rest. I'm not in a race; my goal is to finish the Insanity program, but that doesn't mean I should hurt myself trying to get it done in the timeframe the program gives as a guideline. Not everyone can move at a pace like that.

All the same, I still rolled myself out of bed and did Max Cardio Conditioning.

It was good, though I had to modify some of the moves. This sucker is a killer; I bet if I went all out with this workout I wouldn't last five minutes past the warm-up! I always think during the workouts that I want to tell you guys about a certain exercise, and then when i'm writing my entry I forget the name of the exercise and so you never know what kinds of moves i'm doing. Today is no different, but I want to tell you about my new favorite move. Obviously I can't remember what it's called, but it has something to do with diamonds. Girls' Best Friend and all that LOL.

So you jump in the air and lift your arms above your head - AHA, I think it's called a Diamond Jack - like you would for a jumping jack. Instead of jumping your feet out wide, you kick your feet back and up, forming a diamond shape with your legs. Probably doesn't make any sense, but I love this move!

Looks like that ^

I feel so 'fit' when I do these LOL.

Breakfast - hastily eaten cereal with almond milk and flaxseed before getting my rear to work.

Lunch - sausage and tossed salad, KRAFT peppercorn ranch dressing.

Snack - yogurt, walnuts, strawberries, granola.

Dinner - I think I am going to splurge today and have Subway for dinner. It's a good day for Subway seeing as there is no meat in the fridge besides more sausage ;)

Evening - um. beer. Beer League slo-pitch tonight! Better work my butt off for those drinks!

I'm always so out-of-it on Mondays, it's ridiculous really. I wrote that I had eaten my usual breakfast yesterday when in fact, I hadn't eaten anything. I failed to 'remember' this until sometime in the afternoon, at which time I decided to have my breakfast as an evening snack. Well, that didn't happen. I barely managed to eat dinner for whatever reason. Well, I know the reason. It's called "The Computer Games". It was 10:30pm by the time I lifted my eyes off the computer to take a break.

I guess breakfast has become such a routine that I just assumed i'd eaten LOL. It's funny now, but I was upset with myself yesterday because I needed the nutrition!

Anyways, it didn't deter me from getting another Insanity workout in this morning. And I managed to crush one that left me happily full of sweat.

Looks like the weather is finally starting to smarten up; the sun is shining today and there's hardly a headwind in sight! I hope the ball diamonds dry out enough by tomorrow evening so that we can play our first game. I bought myself another ball glove and batting gloves, so i'm super excited to try them out! It's the little things LOL.

Breakfast - cereal, almond milk, flaxseed (no really, I actually did eat this morning LOL)

Lunch - tossed salad, 3 oz steak, peppercorn ranch dressing (this stuff is amazing)

Snack - yogurt, granola, strawberries, walnuts

Dinner - grilled chicken with tossed salad and raw veggies

What a busy Monday it's been so far!

Yesterday morning I woke up with a headache that lasted the whole day, and by 10pm it was so bad I was bowing to the porcelain throne. I hear that happens with migraines, so that's what it must have been because I felt a lot better afterwards and feel okay so far today.

So I made an executive decision after trying Saturday's Insanity workout and only making it through about 20 minutes of it. I took the rest of Saturday AND Sunday off to rest and recover.

It worked.

I blasted through Insanity Max Interval circuit this morning and felt awesome! Of course there are still some exercises that I can't do yet, but I am happy with what I was able to do.

Breakfast - oops!

Lunch - cheeseburger (it went to a good cause; the dog park in town).

Afternoon snack - yogurt, granola, strawberries, walnuts.

Dinner - grilled chicken salad.

Snack - cereal, almond milk, flaxseed

Breakfast - cereal, flaxseed, almond milk, honey

It was recovery day today. Spoiler alert - i'll be whining again, so if you're not interested in listening to me whine, skip over to the next paragraph. The true kicker to month 2 so far is Max Recovery class. I popped 'er in and pressed play and thought to myself 'thank God, an easier day'. HA....ha. ha. Correct only in that I did not reach the calorie burn I wanted to reach. Incorrect in that my legs and arms are so shot that I can barely do the moves with any amount of confidence right now. Ok. Vent over.

There's no need to comfort me, I realize that i'm just being a whiney little brat. I'll get over it, very soon I think. In fact, I believe as soon as I get into week 2 and start these workouts over again, I will once again begin to crush them with my pinky finger. Yes, that's right. The pinky one.

Aside from a lackluster performance this morning, i'm feeling a lot better than I was at the beginning of the week. I'm killing my protein levels and even since the last two days i've felt an amazing difference in my energy levels. Of course, last night I had friends over to do some leg waxing (FUN) until 11:30, so i'm kinda dragging ass today but I still feel pretty good!

Lunch - whole wheat pita pocket with garlic sausage and TONS of raw veggies and leafy greens.

Snack - yogurt, granola, fruit.

Dinner - steak burger with mozza cheese on 1/2 whole wheat bun with TONS of raw veggies.

Snack - pb and bagel (I didn't need this extra snack last night; i'm doing pretty good with staying away from the daily bagel fix, but it's nice to have with pb if I need a little extra protein).

Hopefully the weekend will bring warmer weather!

Breakfast - cereal with flaxseed, almond milk and 1 tsp honey.

This morning's workout was Max Cardio. I felt super awesome about an hour after completing the workout, but pretty darn defeated during it. It isn't like i'm not burning up some major calories, it's just that there's TOO DAMN MANY exercises that make me wanna throw up! It was incredibly frustrating. I felt so defeated, like I was back at square one. I'm really going to need to hang onto my willpower through to the end of these first two weeks, otherwise it simply won't happen. Which CANNOT happen!

So I immediately purchased some L-Glutamine, which is something I should have done weeks ago in preparation for month 2. Unfortunately, i'll have to wait 2-3 weeks for it to arrive and by that time I should be in my final month of Insanity! That's okay however, since my plan is to do the two-month program at least once more, with my Insanity t-shirt on

In the meantime, i've upped my protein and am eating steaks, salmon and chicken like there's no tomorrow! And as of yesterday, am getting my water intake in again. It's funny how easy it is to slip out of good habits and into bad ones! Must always be aware of my nutrition intake!!!

I was recognized at work this morning for the years of service worked in my organization (I work in a healthcare facility). I've been here for ten years, unbelievable! and received a silver necklace and bracelet as a gift from the health region. We were treated to lunch as well, which was amazing and yummy; no need to worry about my afternoon snack either as I couldn't finish my fruit so i'll have it this afternoon instead. There was chicken, spring rolls and veggies with dip (and many other finger foods, but that was all I took besides fruit).

Dinner - 6 oz salmon, tossed salad with a bunch of veggies.

Later - bagel with 2 tblspns pb, if extra protein is required.

Friday is tomorrow!