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legcramps - Thursday Sep 15, 2011

Weight: 164.0

I don't know where that feeling of peace went...

But I want it back!

Yesterday an outside force made it difficult for me to end my day on a good note. I do not like, nor do I appreciate it when someone tries to blow their work off on someone else (read: ME). I am so far beyond frustrated with this person that I can't even cool off enough to respond to her.

1) My Dog is dying; that's pretty stressful.

2) I am single and I live alone and that means I have a whole lot of things to tend to when i'm at home. I am the only one who is there to do it.

3) I want to do fun things too. I want to go to Zumba, I want to get back into running. All this takes up time.

4) I have school; I take a class. An actual class.

5) I have already taken the lead for this person regarding so many things - sometimes I just want to shake her and ask her to please grow some balls!

She's asked to have a project she initiated be taken over by someone else because she "doesn't have the time". She goes to nine hours of classes a week, she says. I disagree. First of all, her classes are MARTIAL ARTS and KICKBOXING. I'm sorry, I don't define those things as classes. Second of all, she has no problem missing these classes when something else comes along that would be fun to do (i.e. golfing, concerts, etc.). So because she can't miss her "classes", I should miss mine to take over her work? Yet again?

I am so frustrated, it's unbelievable. I am overwhelmed with all of the things that need to be done. I am overwhelmed by constantly being the one who everyone turns to when they need help. I am pissed off that no one can give me a freakin moment to breath in this place.

I didn't go to Zumba last night because I was concerned that I would need to stick around for the dog park stuff. But i'm going tonight. Screw them; they can figure just this one thing out without my help. I'm done for today, I need a break.

I'm sorry i'm venting to all of you, I just feel like i'm letting other people control what I do and what I don't do. I choose how to live my life. I have that power. No one else.

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

glycrina on 09/15/2011:
She can't do work because she goes to kickboxing classes?!?! I don't know where you work but I want that job. That would make me angry too. But anger is a "red flag" emotion that something is not right and needs to be fixed. It sounds like this person is using you; I am just guessing. Take care of yourself because this person is not going to make sure you get taken care of . . . I am aggravated for you.

Umpqua on 09/15/2011:
I think there are certain times in life where you just have to tell people to screw off. I think this is one of those times haha! You've got a lot going on right now and you certainly don't need some selfish person trying to drain even more of your energy. Take care and take care of yourself!

getmebackto150 on 09/15/2011:
I agree with both of the above comments... With everything going on w/ you right now, you totally have to focus on making yourself happy and putting yourself first... This person totally sounds like a user:( Thinking of you!!

V on 09/15/2011:
Okay the girls has pretty much summed up exactly what i was thinking...Hey is it possible to take a few days off(probably not) while you are going through this with Dog?? I would hate for you to go in for the kill with this broad while you are going through such a stressful time in your life..Too bad I am not able to have a nice chat with your coworker. I would set her straight...Love you <3

thinkpositive on 09/16/2011:
Try this one out " I would stay but I have an important appointment" Or My dog is ill and I have to be home to take care of him/her" Or - "I just can't stay tonight" Some people will take all they can if you give them the opportunity.

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 14, 2011

Weight: 164.0

Good Morning!

I feel at peace today. I'm not sure what changed between yesterday and today, but I feel a whole lot better about some of the decisions I need to make this week. Dog has an appointment with the vet this afternoon. If the vet tells me she thinks it's time, I will try to make the "appt" for Friday and take the day off from work. Last night Dog cuddled with me on the couch. It seemed like she never wanted me to stop petting her. She kept looking up at me with those huge dark eyes, it kills me every time!

I hope she's trying to tell me that it's okay to make the decision I need to make.

Yesterday's foods were okay: oatmeal, chicken and rice, yogurt and granola, potatoes, steamed veggies and a beef burger on whole wheat pita bread. Either I overdid it on the dairy or the carbs; i'll have to compensate for one today to see which one gave me trouble in the bathroom yesterday ;)

I had more dog park errands to run, so I didn't get any exercise in. I thought about pushups just as I was going to bed. I'm confident i'll get back on track with those pushups, though it might take me a few more tries! Tonight is Zumba, but I will go depending on whether or not I need to stay in town for a) anything dog park related, or b) anything Dog illness related.

I brought toasted ezekiel bread to work with me, with peanut butter and half a banana.

Have a good day everyone!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

liza36 on 09/14/2011:
I'm sure you are grateful for that feeling of peace. You and your dog will know when it's the right time, as corny as that sounds. That peaceful feeling is part of it.

Hugs, and take care!

glycrina on 09/14/2011:
Hey twin. I hope everything goes as well as possible at the vet today. I am really feeling it for you.

Umpqua on 09/14/2011:
Good luck at the vet today, I'm thinking of you!

V on 09/14/2011:
I hope you continue to stay strong and positive about this, i know it is tough

thinkpositive on 09/14/2011:
I'll be thinking of you as you make your decision. Dogs have a way of feeling our emotions. Take care.

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 13, 2011

Weight: 164.0

When I woke up this morning I struggled for about 20 minutes trying to figure out what day it was; I finally decided it must be Wednesday or Thursday. Damnit. I hate when it feels like the week should be over and it's only just beginning!

Yesterday my eats weren't the best. I had my ezekiel toast and peanut butter in the morning, then some brown rice and chicken for lunch and yogurt and granola in the afternoon. After that, it sort of went to heck. I ate mozza cheese and crackers for dinner, and mozza cheese and crackers for a snack. Then some more mozza cheese and crackers.

I got some exercise in though, pounding stakes into the ground for our dog park. Can't wait until we start building the fence!

This morning I made up some oatmeal for breakfast and brought it to work with me. I added half a banana, half an apple, some peanut butter and cinammon to top it off. Pretty good! Not as good as V's pumpkin pie sounds, but mine's edible ;)

I couldn't get ahold of the vet yesterday to chat about Dog, so i'll have to try today. I'd really like to take a moment to thank all of you who commented on my post yesterday. I was (and still am) in such a dark place having to deal with saying goodbye to a long-time companion. It's difficult, but just knowing that I have all of your support, plus the support of my family and friends at home, makes it hurt a little less - so thank you!

Today I have more dog park-ish errands to run. I forgot to do my pushups yesterday, so i'm hoping to get that in today as well. It's so cold here today - the wind is brutal. I can't believe I was unintelligent enough to wear capris to work! I will have to change into long pants at lunchtime. I wish I could wear comfy warm sweats or flannel pj's to keep me warm but I don't think my co-workers would approve ;)

The emotion of the day week:

This weekend is the Terry Fox Run in town. I was hoping to run the 5k, but with everything that's been going on lately I think i'd be better off doing the community walk instead. I'll make up my mind on the day I guess! I've been doing some fundraising as part of a team of people; last year we managed to raise over $1,000 and this year we want to match or better that number. If you would like to support my efforts, you can pledge me online at the following link:


I will be in our local paper twice this week! They'll be using a quote of mine in regards to our dog park efforts, and there will be a write up about the Terry Fox Run as well. Gosh, i'm a superstar! Wicked cool :)

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

glycrina on 09/13/2011:
We look alike. I have dark hair, bangs and similar glasses. I weigh 165. I think you are my dopelganger (sp?). If I could figure out how, I would post a picture. On another note, I have dog and if something happened to him, I would be DEVASTATED. I love that damn dog. As sad as it sounds, there are days that I get out bed just because my dog wants me to. I know there will come a day when I will have to let go of my selfishness and take him to the vet for our last goodbyes. I hope by then I have the coping skills to do so.

V on 09/13/2011:
LOL@ Glycrina being your doppleganger..I am not sure if the world is ready for 2 of you ;) I am :) Both of you could come and drinketh from the Jagerator and we shall have ourselves a blast!!! Hey thanks for asking the videos came out great :) I have all of them posted photobucket on the forum page..So go check them out if you dare..I have to warn you my Ninja Assassin yells are deafening...LOL Have a good one and please let us know what the Vet says

Umpqua on 09/13/2011:
I think you're doing great with eating and exercise considering what a tough time you're going through. And congrats on finishing up your deck, I feel like mine is taking FOREVER. But the finished product will be a massive improvement since we replaced boards and cranked the whole thing up - it was falling apart!

thinkpositive on 09/14/2011:
Advice that was helpful to my husband & I when our dog was very sick was to consider if we were keeping the dog alive for us or for our dog. I don't know if you are in that situation yet but that was helpful to us at the time. Take care,

legcramps - Monday Sep 12, 2011

Weight: 164.0

Awe, my weekend is over :(

Friday night kinda sucked. I went to a meeting. Highlight - sushi! Then I went home and listened to Dog wheeze all over the house.

On Saturday I finished painting the deck, thankgoodnessthat'sover. And thought about cutting the grass. Then decided not to because i'm lazy like that. But I did do some pushups. And then I tried to feed Dog, and I gave her a bath so that she would get some durn sleep already. I bailed on a friend's BBQ in favor of staying at home feeling sorry for both Dog and myself.

Sunday morning was spent going over stuff required for a community dog park; that took one more hour than I had scheduled in my day and I was left with rust all over my hands and hoodie (don't ask) so the morning kinda sucked, just like Friday evening. Then, instead of cutting the grass, doing the laundry, or running other important errands, I went golfing. Hoboy, I was not in a good mood by then, which reminds me I should probably apologize to my golfing partners.

When that was done, I ate some ice cream so that I could be sick today, and I watched a couple of movies at home. Oh, and I did the laundry. Sort of. It's still in the dryer waiting to be folded.

I'm upset and angry in general. I have to make a decision regarding Dog, and I don't want to. I really don't. And that sucks. It's all just really sucky right now. Suckity-suck-suck.

And now for a little less "Debbie-Downer", i'm really loving Zumba. And after this week is over, i'm GOING to get back into working out and being healthy. This is the perfect time for it - summer is almost over and it's time to start working on my fall routine. I love structure.

So i'm off to schedule my exercise into the month work and then work some more and then do some errands and then call the vet. Monday funday!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

getmebackto150 on 09/12/2011:
So sorry about your dog... I understand your sentiment and my heart goes out to you:( I am glad to hear you are loving zumba though... I agree it is SO SO fun and a good workout!!! Hope your week is better than your weekend and I am thinking of you during this tough time.

Umpqua on 09/12/2011:
Sorry you're going through such a rough time, take care!

hollybelle on 09/12/2011:
Opened your post just to check on dog status. I'm so sorry about it all. She knows you love her. You'll do the right thing by her when the time comes. It DOES suck that we have to let go of our beloved pets. Thinking about you.

KayBee on 09/12/2011:
I had sushi also Fri night... but I consider that healthy food. If one can avoid mayo, which is present kinda hidden inside the rolls...

KayBee on 09/12/2011:
Sorry about the dog and tough decisions... :-(

liza36 on 09/12/2011:
I'm so sorry about your dog. It's so tough to know what to do. Take care of yourself, and definitely get back to zumba that you love.

V on 09/12/2011:
:( Sending you lots of love my friend!! You need it...I am so sorry for what you are going through

legcramps - Friday Sep 09, 2011

Weight: 164.0

It's already Friday! Cool.

Yesterday afternoon a co-worker brought me a snack. I couldn't possibly say no and therefore had to icksnay the Skinny B for the day in favor of something a little more rich...

That plate used to have poppyseed cake on it. With cream cheese icing. I guess the sweets at work thing has to stop. I had to have this so badly that I didn't even have time to take a picture of it ;)

I went to Zumba again last night! I'm pretty proud of myself, even though i'm a little achey today. Especially my hips. I need to stretch them out better. Sleep came to me just after 9pm so i'm happy about that! I woke up this morning at 6am and was wide awake! I was going to do some push-ups but I ended up using the extra time to make Dog and I a super great breakfast instead. She got beef and brown rice, and I got ezekiel bread, toasted, with peanut butter and a boiled egg. I don't know if Dog liked hers, but she was eating it when I left for work so i'm happy about that. I sure liked mine!

I take terrible pictures, I know. But you can kind of see the toast... and that's egg in between the slices...

Tonight I get to eat SUSHI!!!

I am so excited! I haven't had sushi for more than a month because the restaurant in town has been doing some renovating over the summer. I'm sure i'll spend half my paycheck tonight on sushi ;)

An evening meeting after supper, and that's it for today.

For the weekend: finish painting the deck, some painting inside the house, stake out our dog park area, cut the grass, do some gardening.

My peas are looking gorgeous! I picked a bunch of them and took them to Mom and Grandma, so I still need to try them for myself. There might also be some yellow beans ready for picking. Still waiting on the zuchinni... unfortunately while the plant itself takes over my entire garden (slight exaggeration) there are no zuchinnis growing on it yet.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/09/2011:
Sounds like you have a great weekend planned, enjoy!

getmebackto150 on 09/09/2011:
Mmmmm... SUSHI!!! Enjoy... I Love, Love, Love sushi, but I have been trying to watch my budget so I've been having it MUCH less often lately... Have a great weekend!!

glycrina on 09/09/2011:
where do get skinny b?

liza36 on 09/09/2011:
Have a great weekend. You've got lots planned!

legcramps - Thursday Sep 08, 2011

Weight: 164.0

Today I feel like a million bucks! Aside from the head cold that kinda snuck up on me somehow, I could seriously paint this whole town red, aching body and all.

Hopefully the feeling sticks for the rest of the day ;)

Yesterday afternoon I had an awesome snack:

That badass picture features strawberry yogurt, a piece of my homemade granola, and some Skinny B: gluten free, lactose free, vegan source of iron and dietary fibre, omega 3 and 6, calcium and protein. BAM! All that in just two tablespoons, which I stirred into my yogurt and let sit for a few minutes. It got all nice and thick. Yum.

When I got home I had a quick meal of chicken and salad greens. Then later I had some brown rice.

Then Zumba! I was about as red as a tomato when that was over. I would have taken a picture just so y'all could laugh at me, but I left my camera at work. I've paid in advance for ten classes so i'm hoping i'll get to that many before December. The classes are once a week.

I might head into the next city over and take another Zumba class tonight, but we'll see. I might need to nap by then ;)

I had so much energy when I was done the class that I couldn't fall asleep until well after midnight. I feel okay right now, but i'm sure i'll be pretty wrecked by the end of the day.

This morning I started the day with Ezekiel bread toasted with peanut butter:


I don't have a picture because I quite literally inhaled it within about three seconds.

I have some running around to do today but I think if I keep busy the day will fly right by! Here's to it being 4:00 soon!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/08/2011:
Your foods look great. And glad you're enjoying the Zumba (I think?)

getmebackto150 on 09/08/2011:
GLad to hear you are feeling GREAT today!!! I love zuzmba for a change up workout and it sounds like you loved it too!!! Have a good one:)

liza36 on 09/08/2011:
I've never heard of the skinny b product. Sounds loaded with good stuff. I love your energy and enthusiasm. Keep it up!

glycrina on 09/08/2011:
Rock on! It feels good to eat well.

V on 09/08/2011:
Badass indeed!! YEAHS!! :) Have a wonderful evening!!

moogy on 09/08/2011:
I am feeling the energy popping out of this entry from all the way over here!!!! Good for you legcramps:)

biscottibody59 on 09/09/2011:
Good day for you--sounds like an interesting product there! Have a good one!

RYC: Thanks for your sentiment. The worst of the Shingles is long gone--thank goodness! Of course anything complicating vision is pretty serious too--I just have to stay on top of it. Something I'm not really used to.

legcramps - Wednesday Sep 07, 2011

Weight: 164.0

What a busy day so far at work! I've been running around multi-tasking all morning; whew. Time for a quick break for a DD update!

Yesterday afternoon was spent in meetings, so by the time I got home I was spent. I barely managed to get Dog her food before passing out on the couch. Obviously, not much got done at home. I did manage to do the little tasks though - folding laundry, washing dishes, etc. so all is not lost!

I purchased a mouth guard on the weekend because I noticed I was waking up with headaches and jaw aches, and I thought I might be clenching my jaw together while I was sleeping. I tried it out on Monday night and managed to bite right through the guard sometime during the night! Yikes, I guess I really am clenching my teeth. It did help a little though, I didn't wake with a headache and my jaw hurts considerably less so far.

Chicken and brown rice. Chicken and brown rice. Some salad, a few veggies, apple pie, granola. That's what i've been munching on for the past two days besides the awesome bowl of oats I had yesterday. Dog somehow managed to get me to start cooking her meals too, so she's enjoying brown rice and either chicken or some beef I had in the freezer. Spoiled little thing ;)

Zumba tonight!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/07/2011:
That's great that the mouth guard helped with the headaches and jaw pain. Have a good one and enjoy Zumba!

V on 09/07/2011:
Have fun at Zumba my friend!!!

thinkpositive on 09/08/2011:
So you might need a tougher mouthguard. Glad it works. Luck dog to get homemade meals!

legcramps - Tuesday Sep 06, 2011

Weight: 164.0

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Mine was very relaxing... on Saturday I attended our ball wind-up and while it was fun to be outside partying all day and night, common sense prevailed and I wandered home around 1:30am and was pretty much hangover-free on Sunday ;)

I continued to paint the deck Sunday and Monday until I finally ran out of paint. All that's left is a strip near the door which is Dog's path to the bathroom, so once I buy more paint I can finish that off - hopefully during the week sometime. The next house project will be to fix some paint that's chipping off in the living room, and find something to paint the basement floors with.

I got some groceries for the week and my meal plans are pretty simple - chicken and rice with steamed veggies from the garden as often as possible! I also made another batch of granola bars to snack on, and have lots of yogurt and some apple pie from Grandma's ;)

This morning i'm snacking on overnight oats:

I put a little too much milk in it, and i'm hoping that won't affect my stomach too much today. It was meant to be breakfast this morning, but it's so filling that i'm sure I can eat it as my snacks for the rest of the day too!

No exercise planned for today - tomorrow night is the first night of Zumba! Can't wait!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

KayBee on 09/06/2011:
Great work on the painting and YAY for the relaxing weekend ;-)! I wonder, these "granola bars" you, US girls eat so often, are not common in Europe, at least I never saw any around here. The oat looks weird, I thought it was a bean puree at first sight! :)

V on 09/06/2011:
Yayyy for Zumba!!! Have fun, shake your money maker girl ;)

thinkpositive on 09/07/2011:
love Zumba- enjoy!

legcramps - Friday Sep 02, 2011

Weight: 164.0


Thank goodness it's Friday and I have a long weekend to look forward to! Woot!

My eats yesterday were very good...

Mid-morning snack of cottage cheese with green onion. Wow, this was good and i'm not a fan of cottage cheese at all! Might become a staple in my house!

My lunch was a chicken ceasar salad from the cafeteria, $5. I was able to half it and save the rest for dinner so it was a really cheap eating day ;)

My afternoon snack was granola with yogurt. I was suffering a bit with heartburn after eating the salad, so the yogurt was nice and soothing.

I had more granola later in the evening. Pretty good day i'd say!

And I managed to get slightly more sleep last night, though I tossed and turned for about two hours before finally falling asleep. Anyways, I feel better today.

I have a few to-do items for tonight, but i'm going to try and get to sleep early so that I can do a whole bunch of things tomorrow before the ball wind-up, including cutting the grass and doing some gardening.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

V on 09/02/2011:
Good looking meals :P Hey by chance is Making Jello Shots on the to do list??? If so, what time can I come over??? Should I bring anything?? ;) Have a good weekend!!

h82bfat on 09/03/2011:
Wish I could acquire the taste for cottage cheese.... My hubby can replace just his evening snack with cottage cheese (that being his ONLY change) & loose weight!! Infuriating!! ;c)

greengirl on 09/03/2011:
Your food looks yummy. I have also been eating cottage cheese :-)

missdetermined on 09/04/2011:
Yum! Good choices, glad you're feeling better!

hackersdiet on 09/06/2011:
I love cottage cheese and i used to hate it! I don't know why that changed...Anyway, looks like a good meal choice.

legcramps - Thursday Sep 01, 2011

Weight: 164.0

Another day, another dollar...

Dog has been eating really well over the last couple of days; I hope this continues for a long while! I've been adding chicken broth to her food, and softening it before she eats it and she's really been lapping it up. Thank goodness for a little reprieve as the stress was starting to wear on me.

I had an evil morning snack yesterday at work:

Red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing... do you hate me?

The rest of the day was good though; ezekiel sprouted grain bread with peanut butter, leftover steamed veggies, pasta and grilled chicken, mozza cheese and triscuit crackers, and a homemade granola bar:

damn picture won't load... i'll try again later. There we go:

I made these suckers myself, and they're huge and thick and moist and yummy! What was in them, let me think... rolled oats, leftover granola, almond butter, whole almonds for some extra crunch, olive oil, flax seed... I think that's it. They're good! Only one left out of the pan, but I sent some home with my Dad and aunt when they were visiting; I think I kept five slices.

I slept horribly last night because there was another rainstorm. The lightening was ridic and kept me up most of the night. I am super sleepy today but my co-worker says I WILL get through the day ;) and i'll probably sleep like a baby tonight!

I forgot to mention the results of my TSH test: I am at 2.6, and the normal range is 0.3 to 3.0. So i'm in the high-end (hypothyroidism) but not at a level where my doctor will prescribe anything. Does anyone know if there are diet solutions to lower these levels?

I didn't get my walk in this morning because of the weather and the lack of sleep. If i'm feeling energetic after work, Dog and I will go on a short 20 minuter. I need to get back on the pushup bandwagon too, I haven't done them in awhile. And since it's September 1st (rabbit, rabbit, rabbit) it's a whole new month to get back into the routine of exercise. I can do it!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

getmebackto150 on 09/01/2011:
Mmmm... that red velvet cupcake looks AMAZING!!! Youir granola bars sound yummy too:) Glad to hear your dog is eating well... I also need to get back on teh pushups bandwagon...

I don't know anything off the top of my head diet wise for helping TSH, but if I come up with somthing I will definitely let you know!

Have a great day!!

V on 09/01/2011:
You know with health issues I always ask Biscotti...I am sorry I am not familiar with this but I am sure a few of the ladies here could offer up some sound advice...That is why I love this site one stop shop for health issues, relationships, and so on and so on... Oh and BTW No I don't hate you..Although I am sure that was deeeelish,chocolate is just not my thing ;) Maybe some of the other girls will hate ya for it???? NAWWWWWW LOL Hey it sounds like Dog is doing really well...Okay confession time.. I went to your fb page and bawled my eyes out at the new pictures with Dog in the park...I am turning into such a wuss!!! LOL ;)

biscottibody59 on 09/01/2011:
Since you're at the high end of 'normal' you're probably not going to notice anything. I mean, for all intents and purposes it's normal. So if you have some kind of physical complaint that caused you to get the TSH checked, you might get a full thyroid panel or full bloodwork including liver function and go from there.

Forgive me for bringing up my pet subject, sleep disorders, but if you're sleepy during the day after feeling like you've slept a whole night, you might ask your dr about a sleep study. (There are good take home ones.) Oh look I didn't go on and on about it for a change:-)

I've always been a little concerned about my thyroid function as well because my mother was hypothyroid and really suffered before being diagnosed--in the late 70s before it was routine to check everyone periodically after a certain age. I'm always a little surprised I'm in a normal range. Lots of people still have to hound their dr to get tested.

Umpqua on 09/01/2011:
Nom nom nom on that cupcake :) Hope you get a good night's sleep in tonight!

h82bfat on 09/01/2011:
That cupcake looks delish, but a little on ths small side... hehehehe!!! Glad to hear your dog is eating. Have you tried giving her oatmeal? Hope you get in some good zzzzzz's tonite!

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