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pastagal - Tuesday Apr 27, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

I just wanted to let those who remember me know that i am ok,,just having a difficult time these days and tho i thought when i came back i was actually ready,,i guess i wasn't,,my son btw is doing much better since his surgery,,he is still home unable to walk yet ,,but another three weeks and he should start going to therapy and return to walking better than ever.

My loss of my daughter tho has caused my life to basically come to a stand still,,i struggle daily for motivation to do the normal daily things and to be happy and uplifting for my grandkids that she left behind and that we are helping to raise now,,they are doing well and i guess its a blessing they are so young that they are able to cope so much better than we are,,,but i will be ok again,,its just going to take time for me to work through my loss and come to grips with this,,but i wanted to say thank you for all that has kept me in their thoughts and prayers,,i highly beleive in prayer and welcome any and all,,but i will stop in now and then ,,i am just not ready to come back on a daily basis like i thought,tho i do come read entries from time to time to keep up some,,i wish all of you the very best and remember this,,"ONE DAY AT A TIME AND CONSISTENCY" will help you reach your goal faster......


Maria7 on 04/27/2004:
Judy, please know you and your family are in our prayers. Take your time about getting back on here. We miss you, and we are praying for you, too. Love, Maria

curlsncuffs on 04/28/2004:

We love you and udnerstand! Just check in once in awhile. We care! I know its a struggle. Take some time, join a great support group - they do help! You'll be okay, time will heal. Hugs to you!!!!! Some days will be better than others - we are here for you! There's all kinds of support out there for you too! My heart goes out to you! Come on every once and awhile and just let us know you're okay! Take care of them grandbabies! Love ya

Soon2BThin on 04/28/2004:
My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Judy. And also lots of hugs. We miss you here but you take your time in coming back if you want. Words can't say how I feel for you. Time will ease the pain some but not make it go away forever, I'm sorry to say. Take care and check in to let us know how you're doing when you get the chance.

breakaway on 02/07/2005:
Pasta theres not a person here who wouldn't understand that and I pray that you will be ok and that your grandbabies will be ok. I cant even imagine going through what you have had to go through lately. I will keep you in my prayers! Come by to let us all know how you are doing :)


breakaway on 11/18/2005:
HI Judy, I just wanted to come on to say hi and let you know that I really miss you. I hope to see you back soon. I need you when I start back on my diet this monday. Today is November 18 2005 and I come here often hoping to see your entries. I hope things are ok. I had a baby while you were gone and he's a year old now already. Love and prayers to you this holiday


breakaway on 05/20/2009:
Hi Judy! I sure hope your ok it's been many years since we seen you here :( I was gone for a few years to but always seem to find my way back here. Still struggling with weight issues but I will get there. I always remember your quote! I truly hope you and your family are well and wondering often how the kids are. I MISS YOU!

breakaway on 01/04/2013:
Judy, sure miss you! I have still been on and off the site but always come back and always will to see those who I got to know so well years ago here. I miss those times. Sure hope your able to come back again someday to say hello. Think of you often...hope this finds you well.

pastagal - Monday Mar 29, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

I won't be on for a few days,,my son is having surgery tomorrow and i can't seem to keep my mind on anything right now but him,,so i will return once his surgery is over and i see that he is doing fine,,hope all of you have a great week and talk to ya all soon.

kanga on 03/29/2004:
Pasta I am praying and my church is praying. Hope you can rest well tonight as tomorrow will be a long day! you'll be prayed for and I hope this helps you through these days. Lave kanga!

kscmeg on 03/29/2004:
Hi Pastagal, I'm back as well--do you remember me? I remember you. I just read your entries for the past month. I have to tell you, I was almost in tears. I'm so so so sorry for your loss of your daughter. I'm a daughter---I'm 22 and my mom and I were very close. I dont know what I would do without her, or for that matter, what my mom would do without me. You are a strong woman for dealing with this. I'm thinking about you...

dvdmon on 03/31/2004:
Hey Pastagal, just logged on here myself after a couple months since the last time, but even the last time it was the first time in like a year! I looked for entries from you then but didn't see any within the last 6 months or so. Now seeing your last month of entries, I was so saddened to hear of your recent hard times! Just wanted to convey what you probably have already received from others - that you are in my thoughts and I wish you and yours the best in what must be a very difficult time in your life. Take care.

pastagal - Friday Mar 26, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

Well i missed yesterday,,it was a busy day for me tho,,and it rained here really hard all day to,,rain is gone this morning tho,,i have been having a difficult time lately with my daughters passing,,i want to thank each of you who leave a note giving your huggs and being concerned,,its is hard,,i struggle daily with her loss,,but i know i will be ok,,i have to be,,especially for her kids,,she would want me to care for them and guide them ,,their father has a huge part in their life also,,he always stayed a part of our family even tho they divorced a few yrs ago,,ashley seems to want to stick close to me,,where brad stays with his dad almost everynight,,just going to take time for all of us to adjust to,,

My son is fixing to go through another major surgery this next week,,i am worried about it and with all that has happened with both of my kids over the past yr and half i guess i have good reason to be worried,,this will be his 4th surgery since his accident,,he will be laid up again for nearly 12 weeks ,,but he is strong and i have faith he will do just fine.

Ok on the diet front,,i am doing fine,,need to start walking daily tho,,but i still can't much cause i have a seed wart on the top part of my left foot that is pretty deep and it hurts so bad,,i go to the doctor this next week and i am going to see if they can do something with it,,there are days it hurts extreamly bad.

Well i hope each of you are doing good and taking your journey One day at a time,,i have learned over the yrs that it takes Consistency on a daily basis to acheive your goal ,,so just give yourself one day at a time and be consistent and you will get to your goal:}


BREAKFAST: Scramble eggs,,grilled hot dog,diet cf pepsi

LUNCH: Grilled HB pattie w/sauce,,dill pickles,,olives,,green salad w/dressing,,cantaloupe,,Ice tea

Snack: Peanut butter & celery

DINNER: Steak w/mushrooms and onions ,,stewed tomatoes w/italian squash,,Green beans,,,green salad,,strawberries and topping,,ice tea

Snack: popcorn

Have a wonderful weekend everyone:}!!!

pinkuspettuty on 03/26/2004:
Just want to say hi . You do so well with your food when you set your mind to it!!! Pam

kanga on 03/26/2004:
Pasta I'm going to sound very nosey and I apologize on the front end, but it will help me understnd what I should be praying: what kind of surgery is your son to have and what day, and will you be offering some convalescent care for him. the other stressors I heard clearly in your entry, after motherin law and then your daughter and three previous surgeries, you must be anxious who wouldn't be, but I am so glad you are taking care of yourself and your physical needs so you can be the important person you are in all these wonderful people's lives and ours here at DD! You are being prayed for.

geevee on 03/26/2004:
There couldn't be anything worse than losing a child and how you are managing to handle this deserves an awful lot of credit! That the children have a loving father who is involved with them is such a big plus, and that he stayed a part of the family despite the divorce is so important for the children's well-being. How sad they must be, the poor little ones. The children will recognize the similarity between you and their mother: the way you both do things, gestures, movements, things you say, and that will be comforting to them because it will remind them of your daughter. Hang in there and keep writing!

pastagal - Wednesday Mar 24, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

I have to hurry and put in my entry cause i have a carpet guy coming to put new carpet in my back bedroom,,anyway,,my day yesterday was not the best,,it was three months yesterday that my daughter passed,,so i had a pretty rough day:{

But today will be better i am sure,,the grandkids are having pictures taken today at school,,hope they turn out good,,my eating is going well,,i feel alot better these days,,its amazing how great sugar makes one feel when you first consume it,,but later it makes you feel so horrible,,and without alot of it or none at all it makes one feel super;}

Well hope all of you are having a good day and remember,ONE day at a time and Consistency will help you reach your goal faster.


BREAKFAST: 1 egg,,bacon,,diet cf pepsi

LUNCH: Large salad w/grilled chicken and dressing,,Ice tea

SNACK : Strawberries and grapes

DINNER: Grilled steak,,brocolli,spinach,,ranch beans,,salad w /dressing,,Ice tea

Snack: fruit

Have a great day!!!

kanga on 03/24/2004:
Up and down days are normal and to be expected a friend of mine said that what helped him was when he had a memory of his dad he welcomed it but didn't intentionally try to hang on, and in lettting them come and go he learned how he ought to grieve. I've tried to follow his rhythm in my own grieving perhaps it will help you too.

curlsncuffs on 03/25/2004:

You hang in there! Time does help. Allow yourself the time! Here's a hug for you! ()

pinkuspettuty on 03/25/2004:
My heart is with you Judy! SO much tragedy in your life! You are a very strong woman to keep on going thruogh so mcuh loss--I am so glad for your grandkids that you have always been so close to them. Is there Dad involved? I hope so. Keep taking care of you, ok? With affection and concern, Pam

pastagal - Tuesday Mar 23, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

Not alot to say today,,so just wanted to say hi to all and leave you with my motto,,,"One day at a time and consistency " will help you reach your goal faster.


BREAKFAST: 1/2 tuna sandwich on wheat bread,,diet cf pepsi

LUNCH: Salad w/chicken & dressing,,strawberries & grapes,,Ice tea

Snack: Nuts and diet cf pepsi

DINNER: 1/2 cup spanish rice w/grilled chicken,,asparagus,,peas,green salad w/dressing,,cantaloupe,,ice tea

Snack: 3 cups popcorn & water

Have a wonderful day!!

geevee on 03/23/2004:
Good food choices! I have � sandwiches too. I'm so used to it now that I can't eat a whole one. We are weight neighbors. I've been bobbling between 139.5 and 140.5 for a week now, so I haven't quite said a permanent good-bye to the 140's, but I am!

curlsncuffs on 03/24/2004:
Glad you checked in! Hang in the PastaGal! We care about you!

pastagal - Monday Mar 22, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 139.0

I weighed today and for the past three days it has said the same ,so looks like going back on low carb is starting to pay off,,i bought some really nice strawberries this weekend,,and they are so good,,

My weekend was spent working around my house and i am going to be having a yard sale in a few weeks and have tons of stuff to go through of my daughters,,which is hard hard to do,,letting go of anything of hers is not easy,,but a person can only keep so much,,ya know.

Both my grandkids wanted to stay with me last night,,so that kept me busy with baths and getting them all ready for bed,,they are such good kids,,i hate that my daughter will not be around to watch them grow and do things for,,it just breaks my heart,,but i will do my best,,

Well not much else to talk about,,low carbing is going great and so just remember "One day at a time and Consistency" will help you reach your goal faster:}


BREAKFAST: Bacon,,1 egg,,diet cf pepsi and water

LUNCH: Tuna mixed in a green salad w/mayo,,bowl strawberries and topping,,,Ice tea

Snack: Peanut butter & celery

DINNER: Grilled chicken w/stew tomatoes,,asparagus,,green salad,,strawberries & topping,,Ice tea

Snack: 3 cups popcorn,,Water

Have a terrific day ok:}

kanga on 03/22/2004:
You are doing so well! 3 pound down wow what a loss! Good luck and happy memories as you prepare for the yard sale. aS always your menus are delicious!

feeleebubs on 03/22/2004:
It's a great idea to have your menu planned out every day. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is to sort through your daughters belongings. Of course, like you said, it's gotta happen sometime.

CharlieAngel on 03/23/2004:
Pasta! So sorry to hear about your loss. I know that loved your daughter very much and miss her every minute. You are such a kind and loving and giving person. I was shocked when I logged back on this morning and started reading your updates. You are so strong and I know that you will survive this. While Eddy was in the hospital I came to terms with alot of things, God, my faith and my ability to handle whatever life throws at me. I prayed one night that God just provide me with the strength to accept His will. If that meant that He was ready to bring Eddy home to Him, then I would accept that, albeit with a heavy heart. The very next day, I began to see small signs of improvement. I know that it must be tenfold harder for you because God brought your daughter home and gave her the ultimate healing. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your grandchildren and your family. I wish I could just give you a big hug and share your sorrow. Please know that I am here for you. Have a blessed day.

pastagal - Thursday Mar 18, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 142.0

I haven't weighed yet,,but i feel like i am losing already,,but gonna give it a couple weeks before i check to see. Yesterday i had a rough day,,i have those types of days alot now,,i get to missing my daughter and it just takes over and i can't function,,but i am working on getting better control over these feelings,,

Today is going to be a beautiful day in northern calif,,i have been thinking about looking for a part time job for evenings,,i just need other things to do with my time,,right now i need to devote my days to my grandkids,,at least for now,,i just don't feel right leaving them with someone other than family for now,,tho i know my daughter would want me to do what was best for me,,i just feel i have way to much time to sit and think about my loss ,,but anyway,,i will work through this,,

Ok,,today i am going to go have my nails filled,,i didn't do it yesterday and their getting shabby,,its either do it or take them off,,

Well hope all of you have a great day and remember,,ONE day at a time and Consistency will help you get to your goal faster:}


BREAKFAST: Bacon,,1 egg,,diet cf pepsi

Snack: v8 juice

LUNCH:Tuna salad,,brocolli,,jellow w/topping,,Ice tea

Snack: peanut butter & celery,,Ice tea

DINNER: Steak w/grilled mushrooms,,brocolli/carrots/cauliflower...stewed tomatoes,,Ice tea

Have a terrific day everyone!!

inmorning on 03/18/2004:
I can only guess how badly you are hurting. (((((((((((((((((PastaGal))))))))))))))))) but getting past the inner torment, remember you are now a young mother again. Remember what you did when you were raising your daughter and if you needed time away, then do so now. Granted the kids need you, but they need a sane you. Take care of yourself as well as everyone else. In the year and a half I have been posting here, I have seen you take care of everyone and pamper everyone else. Perhaps you do pamper yourself and don't write much about it, but I am going on what I read. I think you need to pamper yourself a little as well as others. Just an opinion, please don't be offended. annastasia

kanga on 03/19/2004:
Youre right your daughter would want you to do what you need to do, to heal right now, we all do that differently. And you may find yu need different things at different times. Easy does it. Youre still sore from your heart being ripped open. I'm thinking of you and I do know a little about that inability to function, it will get better and occur less and less. Have a good weekend!

biscottibody59 on 03/19/2004:
I don't know if you handwrite in a journal, you might find it good for these moments of missing your daughter. Just a thought:-)

Have a wonderful day yourself!

pastagal - Wednesday Mar 17, 2004
(Low carb)
Weight: 142.0

Going to be another warm one here in northern calif today,,but the north wind has died down and that is nice to see,,i do not like the wind blowing,especially the north wind.

Today i have to run to the mall and get my nails filled,,then run by the bank and hurry back home to pick up my grandkids at school,,last night lil ashley stayed with me ,,she likes going home with her daddy but also loves sleeping at grandma's house,,

Well i am getting back into the grove of low carb,,it was not as hard as i thought it was going to be,i had been eating way to much sugar again and figured i would have headaches and feelings of low's but it hasn't happened yet,,its amazing tho how different one feels when you go off eating alot of sugar and eating healthier,,well i better get my day started,,hope each of you have a great day and remember,"One day at a time and Consistency " will help you reach your goal faster.


BREAKFAST: Grilled hot dog w/mustard,,bacon,,diet cf pepsi,water

LUNCH: Grilled HB pattie w/mustard & ket and lettuce and tomatoe,dill pickles,,olives,,green beans,,Ice tea

SNACK: BBQ pork rinds & water

DINNER: Grilled steak w/bell pepper,tomatoes and onions,asparagus,,green salad w/dressing,Ice tea

Snack: Strawberries w/topping

Have a terrific day!!

kanga on 03/17/2004:
Pasta your menus always look so inviting I tend to get into a rut and eat the same things over and over until I have to have a change. Have a good day!

curlsncuffs on 03/17/2004:
I'm so glad you're back! Have a wonderful day there!

TheMother on 03/17/2004:
Thanks Pasta for your response. I'm glad you're back here and I know you understand about leaving for a while, then returning, etc. Each of us has to do what is right for our own particular situation. Truthfully, I'm not getting much out of DD at the present time. Maybe it's me, I don't know but I'm going to take a break and continue to work on my "program" as I call it. I commend you doing the low carb plan. I just can't seem to give up my bread! Take care and have a great day.


BellaK on 03/17/2004:
Hi Pasta, it's so good to see your entry and that you are back. I am terribly sorry about your mil and your daughter, I can't even begin to imagine how painful and difficult these past months must have been for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Bella

pastagal - Tuesday Mar 16, 2004
(LOW CARB,No Pasta,bread,sugar,rice,potatoes,)
Weight: 142.0

Well another warm and windy day in northern calif,,surpose be hot hot today,,i am late getting on here,,gotta figure out the best time for me to do my entries,,i use to do them in the evening just before going to bed,,i might start that again,,its quiet and i can think better then,,

Going to work in my granddaughters preschool class today,,i do that a few times a month,,she really loves me to,,her mommy use to and she missed that so i started doing it with her.She told me the other day that she knows i am her grandma,,but she wanted to know if i could be both,,mommy and grandma,,i told her sure,her mommy would of wanted that.

Well so far i have been doing ok getting back into low carb,,struggling at night to not eat something while watching my reality shows,,that is my toughest time to deal with,,but hubby is going to do his part in keeping me on the right path.

Well hope all of you have a wonderful day,,remember "One day at a time and Consistency" will help get you to goal faster:}

Tuesday Menu:

BREAKFAST: Bacon,,1 egg,,diet cf pepsi and water

LUNCH: Tuna salad,,,dill pickle,,olives,,strawberries,Ice tea

SNACK: 1 tbl spoon peanut butter w/celery,,Ice tea

DINNER: Large Meatballs w/sauce,,green beans,,brocolli,,sugar free jello w/topping,,Ice tea

SNACK: BBQ Pork rinds,,Water

Have a terrific day!!

yoyo on 03/16/2004:
Hi Pasta. that is SO sweet what you granddaughter said to you-such innocence! And you said exactly the right thing!!! My eyes are tearing up just reading your post. Take care of you!

kanga on 03/16/2004:
Pasta, you brought tears to my eyes and gentled my heart, how blessed are your family members in the gift of you at this time, especially your granddaughter. Peace and love to you and yours.

pastagal - Monday Mar 15, 2004
(LOW CARB,No Pasta,bread,sugar,rice,potatoes,)
Weight: 142.0

Well i think coming back to diet diaries will be good for me ,not to mention i am back trying to lose some weight i have put on over the past few months,,i have found myself slipping back into my old ways of eating to fill the pain inside of me,,i realize tho that i can't and won't allow myself to slowly regain the weight and let my health get back into a bad place again. Losing my daughter has been one of the hardest things i have ever gone through and maybe coming here and writing about things will help in some small way for now.

I am back on low carb again,,that is what seemed to work so well for me in the past,,so guess you can say i am back and will try to read an comment as often as i can,,

My weekend was not to bad,,we went to Home Depot and bought a couple solor lights to hang at my daughters grave and last night i drove down after dark to see how it looked,,and it looks neat to see lights around her gravesite,,my grandkids stayed with their dad this weekend,,but lil ashley came home this morning and i will take her to school,,tomorrow i work in her class,,at times it feels strange to be doing stuff with them that i did with my kids yrs ago.This will either make me younger or make me older really fast.

Ok on the diet front,,today is a fresh new start,,going to post my menu's daily and exersise routine,,and my motto is,,"One day at a time and Consistency" will help your reach your goal faster.

BREAKFAST: 1 egg,,left over pork chop,,diet cf pepsi,,water

LUNCH: Salad w/grilled chicken,,cup soup,Ice tea

Snack: Nuts & tablespoon peanut butter,Water

DINNER: Spareribs & saurcraut,,brocolli,green salad,Ice tea

Snack: Nuts & diet cf pepsi

Have a terrific day!!

kanga on 03/15/2004:
Pasta I am glad to see you back, and your menu looks delicious today. It sounds like you are working through your grieving in some beautiful ways, anytime you need an ear or rather i gues with websits I should say an eye, don't hesitate and know that you are in my prayers.

squiggly on 03/15/2004:
My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. May God be with you and your family during your time of loss. If you need to talk I'm here.

biscottibody59 on 03/15/2004:
Hi Pasta--my biggest inspiration and personal cheerleader--I will be eternally grateful to you for keeping me going on here when I first started!:-)

I have no idea how you're getting through such a shocking loss. Children are resilient, and it's a blessing your daughter's children have you around--I suppose the dynamics of your relationship with them will change a little unless their father gets remarried.

In the meantime, it's so important to honor yourself. You've been such a rock for your family in so many ways--don't forget to do for yourself PastaGal!

My deepest condolences to you and your husband, son, and other family on this loss of your daughter.

yoyo on 03/15/2004:
Hi Pasta, First, I'm so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your daughter. I know that must be inconceivably hard to deal with. Don't worry about the weight gain. It's pretty normal to gain weight after a life altering event occurs. In 1998 I lost 98 pounds. In 1999 I became pregnant and had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. Then, after being unable to get pregnant again I was told that it was impossible for me to conceive again. So, after all this..you guessed it.. I regained about 70 pounds. It was all out of depression, sadness, and anger for the baby I wanted so badly. Eventually, even though the sadness is still there, I was able to get back in "the swing" and lost most of it. So, it's great that you caught your weight gain before it got "out of hand Take care of yourself!

Soon2BThin on 03/15/2004:
I'm glad you're back here and I'm sure it will help you. You'll lose that extra weight in no time, even though I would love to be at your weight. You did it before so you know what works best for you. Take care.

BandMom on 03/15/2004:
Hi I missed you. I'm trying to get permission to mke diet diaries t-shirts for . I will need your premission you use pastagal and your state. I have been trying to get a hold of the owner of diet diaries. too. Bandmom

curlsncuffs on 03/16/2004:
Welcome back! We sure did miss you! We are here for you! I'm doing lowcarb too! We are in this together! Your grandchildren are so lucky to have you! I've told you that before. I became a grandmother recently. He's 4 months old today! My daughter is 21 - I told her she was crazy to have a baby so soon. (I was 18 when I had her) I told her it won't be easy. She is single and he left her. When he was born - and in the NICU - I held and rocked him with tears - no one was around - and I thought of my own grandmother - she was THE MOST wonderful grandmother. Just like a GRANDMOTHER should be. And, I made a silent promise to baby Travis - I said you are gonna have a rough life with your mommy. I promise that when you are with me to make your life a little easier and happy. I think I do that! I enjoy having him! You sound like a wonderful grandmom. Your kids will think of you oneday as I think of my grandmother.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. We are here for you! Here's a warm hug!!!!!!

Your diet looks good! We can do this!

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